My ex is a spiritual narc. He nearly destroyed me. The gaslighting was his favorite... and not allowing me to ever have negative emotions. "Wow you're such a bitter person... have you meditated today?" Ugh
Teal Swan has a great video here on RUclips about "React Positively" that summarizes it nicely... -- example: I NEVER TELL you the truth because you always react badly. It's now on YOU to control yourself even though I had an affair and am an asshole. WHAT. THE. FUCK. get out and stay out and WATCH for the Flying Monkeys to do their bidding for them. IGNORE. NO CONTACT. LOW CONTACT. Whatever you can do to 'build your wall' up... and let out information about yourself slowly. Really... learn to be alone and to not NEED a community to provide your self worth and value. good luck!!!
I would tell you the exact opposide like, go out on the fields and screem it all out and when it's not enough, screem it at me, I can take it as long as you don't kill me bit the anger has to come out. And THEN you can think about meditating....
You also need to watch out for people who talk about spirituality a lot, but in practice take no responsibility for themselves. Some will justify things like not working by saying they are on a spiritual journey and only want to do what feels right to them...while expecting others to provide for them. Some "artistic/musician" narcissists are like that too. Well, we are all on a spiritual journey, news flash, and still need to feed and house ourselves! Don't fall for that crap!
I dealt with this from a pastor last year. The abuse, bullying, gaslighting, shaming, smear campaigns, isolation, all of it. I exposed that church/cult leadership months after I left. True Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing.
Reading the comments it dawned on me that basically this happens in everyplace highly traumatized people go to seek help... where there's vulnerability, Narcissism appears.. Like sharks smelling blood..!.. how exasperating!.. I 've experienced this behavior in doctors' offices too...
It’s incredible how common it is and yes doctors offices are another great example. I stopped going to doctors in 2000 after I had enough of their abuse.
Inner Integration I concur and right there with you except I’m much older. It is my responsibility to take care of my mind, body and spirit. Love your work Meredith🦋
@@johnnyutah6056 ...Yes, indeed, the "God Complex", but also the society that puts them on a pedestal. I thankfully, have found some kind genuine, caring GPs, and a few Specialists, as well...but they are sadly a rarity. At the moment, I have a great Doctor, who treats me like an equal, and listens. So grateful for THAT! Having several Chronic illnesses, I have experienced, a lot of Covert Narcissistic behaviour, from both mainstream medical practitioners, & alternative/energy/ Spiritual healers. Thank God there are still some good ones out there!!!!! Videos like these help to give us information, on what to look out for.
It’s funny but these points remind me of my experiences when I studied at a prestigious art school. Just swap the religious/spiritual language with art language instead lol
Omg! I noticed the same thing when I went to college. I was originally going to double major with art & psychology. I ended up dropping art because of that. It IS kind of funny tho...like dude...it's just art...relax 😅
I was having a conversation with a New Age guru, and I couldn't understand a thing he said because of word salad. After the conversation was done, he left and I was left questioning what he was talking about. Anyway, great vid!
This hurt me the most by my congregation. Shocking!!Lovebombing. Isolation. Devaluation. Assuming MY emotions. Haters. Jealous. Envy. Callous. Manipulation. Proud of themselves. Disgusting individuals. My 50 year friendship ended with one covert narc here. She only gave me her undivided attention when I sold my house and got a new car. They make me sick!! I can’t even look at them. And I can now spot them immediately!! I walk away w/o regrets. 240 days no contact today. And it was YOU that taught me. It saved my life and sanity. Hugs to you for going past your personal trauma and help the world to heal. That’s a big deal, a very big deal. ❤️
It does hurt. I’m sorry it happened. Luke 17:1: “Then he said to his disciples: “It is unavoidable that causes for stumbling should come. Nevertheless, woe to the one through whom they come!”
ormorphe Luke, the doctor. My NWT Bible says the same thing. I AM free and disassociated with all the narcissists of my past. No Contact process takes a long time because of things like this that we are unconscious to, until we wake up. ❤️
М. 1. They find you. 2. Immediate intense interest. 3. Pulling on you for emotions, information, time, etc. I liken it a forced entry into someone’s home.
М. Sure. They become assertive, aggressive, demanding, physical, and blaming in order to keep you next to them and engaged in long conversation because they are starving for social contact. They’ll even toss out lots of negativity in order to get negativity in return. The more emotional the exchange, the more they feel their blood coursing through their body. It charges them up. I learned a lot from Meredith. She overcame trauma also. I follow her example and make videos to assist others. You may find a video that you like. 🌴😎
When I was in an abusive marriage all the „spiritual“ self help books made me believe it was my fault and if I could love unconditionally he would change. Thinking back that was abuse, too. And all the positive thinking crap ... I threw away the books when my youngest son said „ I wish Daddy was dead“ and I went to a great counselor who helped me to separate and end the abusive relationship. I found my way back to good spirituality. Meditating etc but I also educated myself on narcs. No BS for me anymore! 😁 Word salad - that‘s what most of those books were. Problem is that seekers who want to understand life and the meaning of life are wonderful folks (empaths and highly sensitives) who are easy prey to narcs. 😬 So your work is soooooo important. Thank you Meredith ❤️🌻
@@selenem3384 Yes!!! It’s delusional. And it’s also a form of victim blaming because they claim that if you’re sick it must be because you weren’t positive enough. The body is very complex and many things come into play.
Religion is a breeding ground for narcassists!! It brought so much pain and self hate in my life but I'm free now. This video has been so great. So good I had to leave two comments!! Lol. ❤️❤️❤️ I love you Meredith
@@letscookfun5496 I never felt so lonely and awkward even in yoga studios... nevermind the church. These people don't love you, they are competing to be the teacher's pet, who can kiss arse the most, to fight for a yoga teacher position is like high school politics...and then you are expected to submit to these "people" who are vindictive control freaks beneath all the new age yoga glitz and glam,and unicorn farts
Regardless of what narcissists claim to be, they're always sloppy at what they do. _"By their fruits you shall know them."_ Narcissists impress by juggling a few phrases and words, but they have no indepth knowledge at all; and they will ALWAYS flaunt their narcissistic traits: grandiosity, superiority, entitlement, know-it-all-ism, refusing responsibility, shaming, guilting, isolation, secrecy, etc. It doesn't matter what the narcissist portraits to be, their core traits will always be there.
This was THE video I needed today. I’ve just escaped something like this, survived the cycle of hot and cold plus devaluation, only to hear “you’re such an unstable person now, nobody wants to be around someone like this, and that includes me… you need center and be whole”. Gee, I wonder who was the one making me unstable 😒
You surprise me by putting words to things I've been through. It is hard for me to articulate it. I think the complex ptsd shuts down my ability to verbalize it clearly.
Inner Integration I am dealing with this now in my life... it’s so bad that every day Scripture is used against me to tell me that I’m a horrible man and that I don’t love God. Then, when I start expressing my emotions, she starts saying “I rebuke you satan!” over and over again and won’t stop until I stop talking
Not just religion, but the way “Social Influencers” have a strange power over often thousands of very young followers is very similar. The most dangerous part of this is how these “stars” make these young impressionable followers feel they really are friends with them, and that they “love” and care about them so much, when bottom line, it’s how much money they can make off of them. It’s something that everyone especially parents need to be very aware of.
This is extremely prevalent in the 12 step program I'm involved in. It's been incredibly harmful to vulnerable people seeking recovery and it's caused irreparable harm to many lives. I've been combating it alone for years now and have been the target of relentless narcissistic abuse.
Very important subject, thank you! Some things I've experienced and/or seen: They will get you to "work on yourself" to jump through hoops for them. They will do the things that they want without regard for you and excuse them with how they are so "spiritual evolved" (like polyamory). They will "read" you uninvited and pretend to know you better than anybody else. They will give the impression that they hold the key to your spiritual development. They will give the impression that they hold the key to you developing your spiritual gifts, your clairvoyance, your intuition, and your ability to use these traits for success. Look out for the flashy ones, the ones with a big ego. Even royalty can fall for this...
I’ve met therapists EXACTLY like this. They want you to believe they know better than you and that you must learn from them. They devalue, gaslight and use coercive control. They shame, blame and confuse you into submission. Plus, they already have all the information you gave them and use it against you.
The attitude: I’ve done nothing wrong. The only reason you’re upset or reacting like this is because of the many flaws you have. Let me list them for you. You need to take time out and work on yourself. Does that ring bells with anyone? 😢
Oh, man, the part about containing our negative feelings, really flips me out.!! Very evil form of abuse... I see it very often in narcissistic personalities... In the country i live in, this is a generalized social conditioning mostly for women & paired with familial abuse, it can even cause premature death, the rates of which for women here is off the charts...
@@InnerIntegration Greece..! I guess this is true for Japan too but it kind of applies to the entire Japanese population, imo.!.. In Greece only women who are older, mothers, & narcissistic-aggressive are respected in some form... & plenty of them are themselves 'positive oriented' tyrans..! Covert Narcissism at its finest!.. seems to me that the notion that women must be agreeable is deep seated in a lot of countries too.. I think that G. Mate has said in some of his speeches that the rate for female hospital patients is 90%..due to higher emotional pressure...
7:35 "Everything is a mirror" is projection. They project on you what they know plenty about, things they master, know full well about … thinking that you become tripped up and the they own you. But alas, we quickly recognize and respond strategically to this tactical play. A quick come back isn't always necessary. Listen, learn, cognate, then plan for the next round of defense/volley.
@@LucaAnamaria It is a form of gaslighting. The abuser dodges questions about the value of a proposed course of action by saying that the existence of the questions shows a defect in the mind of the person who is asking.
@@LucaAnamaria “What will taking this course do to solve the problems in my life?” “You’re just feeling resistance. You know what results it will give you, so you need to look at what it is that’s making you hold back. Is it self-sabotage? Fear of success?”
A terrible thing my brother's narcissistic ex told him: "Thoughts affect reality. Your doubt about our relationship is what causing problems. You should get rid of the doubt." That's so manipulative and destructive, actually trying to control someone's thoughts, both blaming him for what's wrong in the relationship, and making him feel guilty for doubting.
People now have forgotten the essence of just being yourself and being genuine it’s become an epidemic 😷 no one ever talks about how toxic this behavior really is , love your videos .😁👍🏻
So glad I found this. Spiritual gaslighting is really insidious and SO confusing to decode when you’ve been worn down. Finding the very fine line between forgiveness/unconditional love and healthy boundaries can be really tough!
You find them in the Art/creative world too. I was duped time and time again by people in the art/acting/writing industry in different ways, they always seem nice an helpful to begin with.
It's a sad truth that many in the artistic industry are now extremely narcissistic. As a published author I find that money and fame and promoting one's fantastic personality always comes before developing one's art. So sad that this happens in out times, and so sad for all the great and humble genuine artists, writers and musicians who came before.
Wow - deep thanks!!! I absolutely love how you have summarised the whole subject of spiritual narcissism. This is a real gift, Meredith and I really appreciate that you've shared. It seems rampant in this world and something that really needs to get out there. I am sharing this.
So good to hear folk speaking like this. In my line of work I've suffered for years with people not accepting that one wishes to be oneself, not a cog in a giant narcissistic wheel of SO-CALLED lovers of ancient culture, Earth, and nature. Am writing another book about this as I have had it up to the chin!
Excellent advice. Avoid groups that do not want to engage in conflict resolution, or do not have guidelines to do so--which are unfortunately, most spiritual organizations! Another term that Christians will use is--"you are rebellions!" when you are challenging authority. I was once told by a pastor that he thought I had histrionic personality disorder, and I couldn't talk to him until I went to a psychotherapist. When I did go the a therapist and she said that I had no personality disorder--he ignored the report. Spiritual groups that have no structure because they want to go with the flow, or let the Holy Spirit--are going to be really dangerous. The tyranny of structureless means--someone will be in power, and power is not shared. I am just now re-entering a group where I was hurt deeply, and I think they have made some changes. This video helped me be alert, and I will draw boundaries, and not let people gas light me. Thanks for this video--I put it on my play list and even made a special play list called spiritual narcissism. because spiritual groups are ideal to find vulnerable people. So sad! Father, forgive them, and even if they do know what they are doing, protect me from getting enmeshed. Help me stay alert and intelligent.
One of the other advocates with a channel had video that spoke of N’s religiosity wetting my appetite for sane perspective as in seven years of group and individual I did speak of this but as good as my facilitator and MD were, there was no validation that this element did play added havoc onto the tapes that looped constantly dominating my thought world and self concept as one of the devils humans. So as I recovered some reality based self concepts , even more perplexing questions posed the “how could she even ... will she go to heaven, does her “stewardship@ negate her damaging of me as I’m just one ? I was discharged from group and 1:1 in 1996, 22 year wait for some validation. I’ve pictured in my mind the brick wall being only ankle high and I have easily stepped over it but IBD it would still trip me at times. Your video and the other one crumbled more away so thank you. I did view the linked one of yours. I am about to listen again to this one,🎈❣️❤️
I hav e to say that she constantly studied took theology courses and was a bookstore of the seminary manager, had book learning but no real gifts or any authentic anything related to spirit. She is quite the character actor. The truth is I am sure she is atheist yep she actually considered herself god, like all Narc’. She will go directly to hell if there is a hell, she’s demon and grown more masterful in her advancing age. Totally unbelievable what she STILL does to use me as source, without even speaking to me. These are the reasons I continue to have to work the program to get past total trauma. I never know what she will do next and she lives in a different state ha it’s my choice to not be defeated completely - I use my basics and other tools not to disintegrate. It is possible but not easy, I work it.
@@CN-dv9nj I feel your pain, my mum is a soul sucking monster that ravaged my life completely.. keep going where you can be fully healed and accepted, much love x !
as much as i hate to say it, i see this in a lot of buddhism. I'd really like to use that framework to work on meditation, but so much of the advice surrounding abuse seems to blame the victim and send them right back to them to get them to change. i still remember a video of a young kid crying when he asked something along the lines of "my father keeps hurting me and i want to get him to change, but i don't think i can keep doing it." i really hope someone else told him to stay away from his father and not just "that abusive seed is in you too and if you don't forgive & forget you'll hurt other people". it isn't that the kid couldn't have effects from the abuse but denying that pain is..... ugh. i always wondered why i would dissociate and revert to old stages of recovery after watching those kinds of videos. now i know it's more manipulation
i really recommend theramintrees videos on this subject, if anyone is looking for help with frustrations regarding organized religion or cults. they talk about spiritual manipulation but use a lot of narcissistic abuse jargon. their video on copying abusers is very validating and helpful
@@horizonanadyomene .. but denying the pain of being abused is what turns a victim into an abuser & perepetuates the cycle, in many cases! .. no wonder you were regressing after watching this bs...
As I hail from an indigenous culture, I spent years trying to get people to follow their OWN leads with soul-seeking, and urging great care where joining groups, cults etc. are concerned. Travelled the world with workshops on my culture, and at first, people understood where I was coming from, at least back in the noughties, but slowly they began to change through the noughteens, as narcissism crept in more and more. My advice is take care of ALL groups, be wary. I am especially concerned with speaking out against neo-shamanic groups which are rife these days. A genuine person from an ancient indigenous culture will never have a narcissistic approach and tell you what you should do to "spiritualise" yourself. I must confess I don't trust modern religions, whether Buddhism or anything else these days. Had it up to the chin.
Yeah, that psychic "hoovering" stuff felt more like psychic attacks and intrusions in my dreams...had that happen for a couple of years after moving away from a small community full of those abusive spiritual narcs. Then I figured out that a few of the people I was still in contact with were reporting right back to the abusers every time they talked to me. After warning both these people sharply that the only way we could remain friends was if they did not share or speak of any interactions with me, one woman did as I asked and the other kept sharing. After I cut that last remaining indirect contact the dreams finally stopped. So lesson is to cut off the covert "flying monkeys" too if you are still getting intruded upon. Block their emails with a filter, block them on social media and block anyone who is getting info on you and reporting back to them. You can cord cut all you want but until you stop those info leaks there could still be intrusions.
Thank you so much for speaking about this vital topic! Being preyed upon in an supposedly safe space of a spiritual community is such a heart breaking experience. Also the amount of brainwashing and triangulation that takes place is mindblowing. Especially if you don't have a firm trust in your own perception (which you don't if you were raised by narcissists) being told by an often well-meaning group to "just let go" and "just trust the process" and "face all fears" is so destructive. The practice of sharing in spiritual groups can be so enriching but also extremely dangerous because its prerequisite is to open up BEFORE you know if you can trust or not. I jumped out of my chair when you mentioned polyamory. Exactly! It is insane how certain individuals abuse, betray and devalue others by selling polyamory as an "enlighten" and "free-er" form of relationship. To them, you are either enlighted AND polyamorous or you are not. In which case all your concerns, needs, longings, wishes and emotions ar invalid and egotistical ("this is your conditioning sweetheart, just relax and trust!") and need to be "healed"
I was taken in by one of these deeply disturbed individuals. My new spirituality totally exploited. Thankfully, I have grown stronger than ever before. I am not new to abusers but this one is really something else! So dangerous and deceptive. He's so calculated and sick
Thank you Meredith for this video and all information you share with us. I've worked with supervisors who are overt narcissists and the covert ones (especially "spiritual" narcissists). The covert narcissists were the most evil and dangerous. The mind 'fu@kery' is so damn strong, it really did a number on me. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION, IF YOU START FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE OR CONFUSION...DON'T DISMISS IT. The information in Meredith's videos have been EXTREMELY freeing, empowering and healing 🙏. Stay AWAKE everyone 👀👂
Thank you for your teaching. Elders of various cultural medicine practices say, "Do not carry anything and do not pick up what is not yours." You give very clear examples.
This is funny because I just started a channel about exploring spirituality in the wake of narcissistic abuse. Your video is kind of the opposite scenario: finding narcissists embedded within spiritual circles -- which I know is a big issue! Lots of great info here, and great point on mirroring, but I think there's something more to it. Narcissists are amazing at one thing: Triggering us. And through those triggers, we can uncover a lot about ourselves. It's like looking at a mirror image that has all the ugly parts of ourselves exposed. We can either face them and heal or keep pretending they don't exist (and keep attracting narcissists). I think overall, it's the inner work that will keep us safe from emotional abuse.
Very valuable content. I was raised by psychopathic narcs and my last “mentor” tried to spiritually assassinate me, my career and character. I learned so much through this. I feel we have an epidemic of narcs and I feel it stems from emotionally disconnected and volatile childhoods that were never healed. We have raised generations of emotionally numb children who in turn have become morally degenerate, emotionally numb, cruel in nature, and completely in denial of reality. In my experience all narc experiences severe trauma, if we desire to shift the epidemic I feel we must address childhood trauma on a large collective scale.
Attending things with a friends is an excellent idea for all the reasons stated in the video. But also be aware of this too: if the friend gets sucked in you may doubt yourself feel more pressure to get hooked as well. So, even with a friend, make sure to self-validate anything that doesn't feel right, always go with your own intuition and gut, don't value your friend's judgement over your own. As always, an excellent, clear, insightful video.!
This is exactly what I’ve been going through. Nightmare. Super creepy people. I would be open to talking to you about it if it would help other people, Meredith.
The stuff about the mirroring, these con artsists teach, is ludicrous.. I think that the cause for encountering abuse happens to us bc we have these parental abuse wounds that we have repressed, & we fall into the same pattern again & again in order to wake up, & process what's been done to us since childhood.. another explanation is that when our parents or others abuse us, we, empaths, tend to burry our legitimate anger & negative feelings & this results in giving off a vibration that attracts predators...
You are so spot on. I absolutely agrew and can relate. It's comforting to know other's feel the same way. Thank you Meredith for sharing such amazing life long tips with us all.
Thank you so much for making this video. This explained everything with my now ex boyfriend. What had me so confused the whole time was how someone so "spiritually evolved" could be so blatantly abusive in front of me eyes.
Ohhh how accurate you are. I felt for this, people turned on me because of one narcissistic who painted me as some evil person! Thanks for your channel!
Not even all the way through the video yet and i have to comment... “You don’t love me like you should.” And... “You’re hateful.” These are the two lines i heard most from my abuser. Labeling the abuse, the tactics... LIFE!!! When i learned this, i could almost feel my mind physically expanding, my understanding finally relax, and my power explode... not to mention the ability to hold onto my peace for longer periods of time. LEARN TO LABEL, people!!! Thanks, as always, Meredith!
I am in a graduate program for counseling psychology currently, and my university has a spiritual component. The WORST is when professors and students refuse to do their own work, and use their "education" as a cover for their abusive behavior. I always wonder if they're doing it on purpose, if they know what they're doing, or if they're really that far bought into their own BS. Either way, it's scary to think of therapists, pastors, and other trusted people who are supposed to care for others, using their power to abuse.
Very good video. Another good point is that when they perceive you're about to leave or see through them, they'll add on layers more of masks to make you doubt everything you thought in secret.
Hello Meredith. Thank you for you discussion on this topic -- its one that isn't really addressed but is the most dangerous. Here's my story: The spiritual abuse was by the ex narc husband. During our marriage he methodically and repeatedly spiritually gaslighted me saying "God" was damning him and leaving him in darkness because he married me. It was as if he was "seeding" me with the darkness he felt. Not knowing what was going on and didnt understand boundaries -- I absorbed that darkness. He held this over my head during our marriage -- imagine how that would make a person feel .. On the surface, he was fun, giving and "loving" but then he'd vile rage at me to the point where I was in a fetal position on the floor. He constantly cycled through the idealize, devalue and discard. His subtle daily and outright acts of abandoning me were constant. All this kept me in an emotionally dysregulated state. I knew something was wrong -- there were hints (sometimes big ones) but I was too scared to confront them. I became a shell of who I was before and started self medicating just to cope (I know bad excuse and I own my actions). For him, I became "unable to handle." He smeared me to family and friends -- but very carefully. He used the "I just don't know what to do" victim story. I was horrified when I learned he was discussing my personal struggles with strangers. I went from him thinking I was a beautiful being full of light and love to a thing he disdained. While all this was happening he was having an affair .. He used "God" as his justification for the affair and God's "direct commandment" to leave me for the new supply (who he married). God told him the new supply was THE ONLY person who he should be with and the delusion was supported by the new supply. How perfect in execution was this --- One can never defend one's self against "God's" commandment and he saw no accountability for his actions because, "God told him." God became the scapegoat .. his excuse. Where now is God in my life .. I'm not sure. The one source I always looked to for healing became the insidious, twisted and distorted tool the ex used to abuse me. My inner light was attacked in a way I never thought could happen. Its still there but in hiding and I fiercely protect it. There is no way to describe how this type of abuse threads it pain into one's soul.
She was a yoga teacher and a "councilor" she used love bombing to open me up fast and mirror me then all the awful techniques you talked about including gas lighting and brushing off my concerns and emotions. She had no conscious and could never take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was someone elses fault. She was horribly damaging but I learn sooo much about myself and changed for the better. Thank you Meredith!
Great video Meredith! I have experienced this in romantic relationships with spiritual narcissists and I’ve observed it within yoga communities and vegan communities as well. Very dogmatic and manipulative mindsets - not all!! But some. I’ve also experienced this through online channels. I’ve interacted with a tarot reader who used intermittent reinforcement and gaslighting on whole groups of people and even spoke about narcissistic abuse through her general readings. When I finally booked a session with her she ripped me off and it left me confused and self-blaming. I finally found a group of people who’d been through the same thing in person and online with her and finally realized OMG this is narcissistic abuse through an online community! She also has a lot of fans/followers who are flying monkeys for her so that’s another thing to watch out for because those psychic connections can be established without physical interaction in the material. Creating mental, physical and psychic boundaries is really important! I’d like to say these online resources like tarot and yoga and veganism can all be extremely helpful and healing but they do seem to be breeding grounds for narcissistic abuse as well. 💗 🙏🏼💗
Inner Integration I hope so! It took me quite awhile to catch on to the pattern even though I’d started my research and recovery from narc abuse at that time 💕
This is such an important point. Easy to find the abusers, far more difficult to source the genuine ones as they'll not ordinarily have loads of followers. I suppose the saying, 'safety in numbers' applies. Many flock to people in this way, but they also don't want to hear a reader or leader of a group telling them that they can find their OWN way to heal as Meredith does here. It's so sad that there are so many getting caught by narcissistic charlatans. The word 'psychic' leads people astray especially when they are told they have a 'gift' in this way. Then there are those who believe they are gifted and don't have a clue what the thing they're supposed to be gifted in is all about - if you know what I mean!
@@PatrickJasperLee570 LOL yeah I am sure the unqualified yoga teacher that my own yoga teacher is using to substitute her classes, also was made to believe that she has some special energy - well her special energy is that she is weak minded, very submissive, easily controllable, and easily manipulated. Does NOT have a strong personality,will do anything for the favours of her yoga teacher. She is a good teacher's pet in other words!!!
@@PatrickJasperLee570 narcissistic yoga teachers don't like people with their own personalities and won't give you an opportunity to shine, if you are not willing to be a blind extension of themselves
One of the main phrases I encountered from a spiritual abuser was 'I know you better than you know yourself'... in some ways in a relationship this can be true, one's partner may notice and identify a repeated pattern that you do, but it does not need to be turned around on you as an insult. If they repeatedly tell you that you don't know yourself after you call them out for insulting you or whatever, it is very dangerous because I found I never knew what to reply to that... certainly one way for an abuser to shut their victim up. Thanks for the video, very useful
yeah the narc always want you to think they have all the answers to your life. sickos - another form of control, they want to be your personal guru and lord and saviour
Wow girl you are spiritually connected to your veiwership!! Would you believe literally three days ago I was thinking oh I should request her to make a video about spiritual narcs. It's been on my mind lately and I thought you'd be the best to cover this. Wow so glad you made this video can't wait to watch. Keep up the good work !
WOW! I was just wondering if a very good friend of mine is actually a covert narc... but I said to myself "No, she's about spiritual enlightenment". Thank you for this video. My intuition has been swaying me in a different direction - I listened at my first inkling, I'm so thankful and I feel really good. This is a great video!! Much love to everyone!
I was waiting for a video on this, thank you so much 💙 I have gone through an experience with a spiritual narcissist, which left me shaken but also I have more clarity now cause of it. He's a follower of a well known foundation in India, and that was what enamoured me first about him. He perverted the truths like you said all the time to serve his own selfish purposes. He gives this picture of his to everyone that he is a 'yogi', doesn't want marriage, is working on overcoming desires, but in reality he only wanted to sleep with me while he was already having an affair with a married woman (his family friend whom he addressed as sister) and his explanation for this polyamorous behaviour was 'Love is universal, don't limit your companionship.' And he twisted the most important fact that the spiritual foundation shared, the concept of 'runanubandha' which says body has memory, hence its better to not have multiple partners if you're on this spiritual journey. When I confronted him about not following it, his answer was 'You don't know much about it, it's not in your experience yet so I can't make you understand it.' His hypocrisy, his twisting of the facts and perverting it, masking his desire to have sex by manipulation using a spiritual cover, just shook me completely. And I started realising how easily we can fall prey when we're vulnerable for some spiritual guidance and it's better to see everything as it is, and connect to the source ourselves in our own way like you said. I'm thankful for the mirror thing, of the yin and yang that you've spoken in this video. I was feeling guilty, but now I realise how it actually is, the 'divine lesson.' I'm glad you're gonna be making a video on polyamory next.
@@kelley0404 He's a follower of Isha foundation, has done the last course Samyama, and has volunteered there too. My brother and I have done 2 courses offered there as well. Since I felt Sadhguru made so much sense, what he says about most things (I still do), I believed this guy to be genuine and a true seeker. He quoted Sadhguru all the time, also he spoke about Nath Yogis, Mooji, Nisargadutta Maharaj, Osho.. I was too innocent then and believed him to be a genuine human, but now I know better. It was a huge shock. It's really important to see below the surface of how someone appears as, to understand who someone really is, how genuine the person is. Sometimes we fail to see the wolf in sheep's clothing.
Anusha Dharmatti So true and yet heartbreaking. I, too listen to Sadhguru and was afraid this was the man your boyfriend followed. I’m learning though not to identify with organizations and definitely not to idolize people in positions of power. They are people just like you and me.
The mirror concept.. oh my Goodness....i have someone who used this on me ...and because it ddnt always resonate with me...when I would push back she would somehow get upset. ..she is still in my life however I find i am more alert now so try as to avoid feeding into her stuff...thank you...for me its an aunt who is "spiritual" and she realised i am on my own journey..thank you for this..🙏
Thank you for your lecture. It is so valuable! Listening to it brings back memories of all the "spiritual" people and their behaviour, their brainwashing. I cut myself off from all of those in the course of time, be it personal presence or through the RUclips, various spiritual groups. As you said, they make you feel guilty, dirty. Years back I took place in two courses, reiki and accupressure healing. I ran away crying, feeling shamed, humiliated and completely out my energy. It took me quite some time to find my own worth. This video makes all that clear. Good health and happiness to you 🍀🥰🍀.
Very well put. I'd also like to point out that this kind of behaviour won't only come from narcissists. It's also what relatively "normal" spiritual leaders do when they don't realise that they still have to work on their ego. (Which is ironic, isn't it? They're always telling others to work on the ego, but should listen to their own advice).
Some spiritual narcissists thumbs down this video! Really good video! and will help people to avoid these traps. Love bombing is such a major red flag, I remember being part of a well known Buddhist group that is all around the world, and this was one of their tactics. Hugs and loves, and pretty cards sent out, and always there to help. But if you didn't tow the line, that was removed and replaced with something not as nice.
Another awesome video on a much needed topic. I was spiritually / religiously abused from a young age. My mother, who I believe is on the spectrum of Cluster B narcissist, of course being a boundary shatterer that she was, snooped through my journals when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I was being sent to very religious private school (2 older siblings, 15 and 11 years older) had not been. - I felt dehumanized, alone in the abuse, and erroneously seen as some sort of Golden child by my older siblings and other family members. my older siblings by this time were gone from the home, and I was being abused alone. Anyway just to backtrack... Once my mother read through my journals (in which I would write about being gay & my feelings surrounding that), she convinced the therapist that I was already seeing to engage me in conversion hypnosis therapy. I didn't see that therapist anymore after 2 sessions, but the icing on the cake is that this was a therapist that really validated, and connected to, (was originally forced to see starting the age of eight or nine). My mother tried to insert herself, successfully for a time, into my therapeutic relationship, by seeing her on a different day. Eventually my therapist stopped that, and gave me what I really needed: a sense of understanding that I wasn't crazy, as my parents were painting me out to be. She alerted me to the degree of dysfunction that I was growing up in, and how my reactions will completely normal. Yet she was a fairly religious woman herself and this was back in the 90s... I believe that she believed in the efficacy of conversion therapy. It was very damaging. my mother also took it upon herself to "out" me to the entire family and really just paint my sexual preference as antisocial (a word that I was convinced meant something that it didn't, and a very cruel word and projection i internalized data pretty young age. ). She'd have religious community leaders call me. She'd described me as troubled. jumping to another area of spirituality, I just wanted to say something about the 12 steps. this is an especially vulnerable time for people that are seeking help and guidance. I guess just like with any other group it attract narcissists and the other personality disordered toxic people. Like Meredith says, just go slow and be mindful who you share things with. I think it's really important for us to start building a sense of autonomy and self love/compassion, and knowing ourselves (I know, gradual process) so that if we try to go to a meeting or whatever it is, if we cross paths with these individuals, we won't assume that they are just "right" because they say they are. starting to pay attention to my intuition and feelings in my body, of course, it can get very confusing with the PTSD. I think Meredith and maybe others say that the first sign of a problematic situation is confusion. Thanks Meredith. ❤️🧡💛💙 Eric in New York .... On this healing journey
So sorry you experienced such shaming for just being yourself. As a "straight" person..I just want to say sorry on behalf of straight people..I know it's only a "token", as I am only one person...but I just can't imagine the inner torment you must have felt. In my opinion...Jesus is/was about inclusion not exclusion. I really hope you feel that in your heart someday..that you are trully loved, just as you are. You are obviously, a very strong, resilient person...hold onto that. I admire your courage.
Just heard one say, you have to love others unconditionally in order to love yourself. Ive been seeing a lot of it lately, especially on IG guru accounts. The spiritual bypassing is rampant, they say just send it love and light and ignore what your gut is telling you. Great discussion🕊😊
So grateful you named this so well Meredith. Wow! I first dealt with this with my mother narcissist who trained to be an est leader and used those tactics at home, then she got into a course in miracles and seduced the leader and tried to set us up as a mother daughter enticement to him while drinking, then found it in buddhist circles, as well as even 12 step and new age groups. Very confusing to walk through since spirituality was the way to survive abuse at home. I finally came to letting go of all external gurus and going directly to higher power. But conditioning said one should be excellent, beyond mediocrity etc., society backs that up. Such a valuable, vital topic. Grateful!
Wow Meredith great job! In a couple relationship the isolation is a must to be in a relationship...buddy system a good idea but in a relationship cant happen. Although hidden cameras can happen! I am still processing the NARC Christian I was with for almost 20yrs of gaslighing, the father of my kids...I still struggle to see it all and to accept it. The married one doesn't discard like the one who jumps from partner to partner. If your married to one of these monster for years I say thanks God for the discard!
My parents were just the church and both were narcs. Many of my spiritual mentors were as well. Most of the work I offer now is teaching how to heal from complex abuse like this.
Wow, I'm pretty much speechless. This is what I have experience with these types of people but I just didn't have the words for what I was witnessing. You have made it so obvious that this information can help people, especially women, protect themselves from these sick demons.
Meredith ....I have learned soooo much from you .... I go to church and you have pointed out some stuff that i need to look at a little closer ..... Thank you for all you do....
the church and new age yoga community is a HOT BED for DEMONS or evil spirits, bad vibes, evil eye type of shit, whatever you want to call evil energy😱😱😱😱
Very good advise, so much of the time spiritual people get badgered by those that are on a regular cycle of "going to church" and try use shame, accusing us as begin unchurched, when you are all alone it is very dangerous to frequent places like that. Probably even more so as any other place, they do have standards that they want to see others follow to a tee. Disagreeing about anything can get ugly.
Dear Meredith, Thank you so much for this brief and concise summary of key points on the behaviour and ways of a spiritual narcissist. Thank you, you are a great teacher and an awesome person. Thank you for your knowledge and compassion and the excellence on your work. As an ilustration of their superiority and infallibility and underlying the fact that they cannot be called out on anything or told they are wrong in their spiritual perception I'd like to mention something that happened to me --This is just a micro tiny instance of other things this woman pastor did and said--. She told me i was envious because I wanted to have a family like hers but I didn't want to go through that sacrifice to have it. --- This she told completely out of the blue. I was totally shocked and confused because I didn't want to get married nor have children. And she was so brazenly confident that there was no way she would admit I told her that that wasn't the case at all because obviously she would argue that she had that insigh from God. Since she was the "anointed one" you could not say she was wrong because that would be unbelief and going against God, not her, because she was just a vessel, a servant of God. Basically not believing what she said equaled not believing God. So you become like a puppet in her hands and she completely manipulates your relationship with God, telling you when God is mad at you and you need to repent and when He is OK with you. So in the end your relationship with God becomes one instilled in fear and intimidation instead of love.
Thank you very much for this video! This describes my husband perfectly. He's a member of the United Pentecostal Church. The spiritual narcissism in this group of so-called "christians" is beyond disgusting. Only they have "the truth", that they're the only ones saved on planet Earth, everyone else is in fake doctrine, etc. Even the culture of the United Pentecostal Church is narcissistic. My husband is already a covert narcissist. This video adequately describes him: a spiritual covert narcissist. He actually found a religious group that actually praises him for his narcissism. I hate the phrase: forgive & forget it. This is another tool of a narcissist that allows him/her to continue to abuse you & blame you b/c you can't forgive or forget what he/she did. Bless you for this video!
My Spiritual Narcissist, abused my twin flame telling him she is his twin flame. Now he didn't believe me when I told him he was my soulmate before separation, but during separation he has learnt quite much about Spirituality and these terms. She abused both of us
Thank you Merideth I am glad because they really hurt and that's is what is happening. I HATE THE LOVE BOMBING UGH! THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU VERY GOOD VIDEO!!!
@@InnerIntegration but it feels like abuse...I'm extremely sensitive. And I'm not a jealous soul. So it's stupid. I'm single too no love attraction. The greatest thing is that I'm happy I'm single right now. 🥰 Not thinking ahead just focusing in this moment.
Thank you, Meredith. As a spiritual seeker and a child who was raised in a cult-like religion, this is a topic of great importance to me. I have encountered many seekers who are have fallen prey to this abuse. All narcissistic abuse is twisted, and I personally feel that this form is high on the serious damage list. As with other narc abuse, there are issues of misuse and abuse of power, over and against those who are vulnerable. Thank you again for doing this video. I loved all of what you shared. Deep Bow :-)
God bless you Meredith for creating such powerful videos full of insights! Have been involved with such dreadful type "guru" quite a few times, they are probably one of the worst and most dangerous types of cluster b. Again, listening to your gut is #1 tip , ignoring it instead and believing their words gets you into trouble in no time at all
Thankyou...again..your clear words helped me start healing 3 yrs. ago...like visiting a very insightful Aunt..who tells you the Truth, in an encouraging way :)). It was like leaving a cult. But i finally regained my sense of spirituality!
I've seen a few of your vids, Meredith, and I observe that you are genuine, well-intended, replete in wisdom, emotionally intelligent, intellectually stationed (in general, but specifically relating to subject matter), thoughtful, considerate, balanced, armored and battle ready, … the American girl next door. Booyah to you for your passion to educate regular folks living, loving, doing as they do ea day to get along.
Thank you for confirmation on what Hoovering is. I think the medication my Narc is using is suppresses those tendencies. As soon as my Narc started taking it, I lost interest. The urges to be with them tapered off. It’s really interesting, I feel more free. I prefer my Narc continues to use it so everyone else doesn’t have to. Great Stuff, as always!
Thank you so much for this video : ) And thank your putting your efforts into this, I am so grateful to you for that. This happened to me too and I even have recorded activity of a spiritual narcissist telling me the things you described about them. It's funny how all narcissists of every kind work in the exact same patters. These drainers gaslight on a material and spiritual level. One of their other favourite phrases is, 'When I believe it I will see it,' as opposed to this phrase which is better known the other way around. For this reason, I have come to dislike the word 'believe' and I have noted that the word 'lie' is right in the middle of the word 'believe.' For this reason, I try to avoid using the word because the word spells out its meaning that is 'to be a lie and live it.' They always say about seeing things differently and for their opposites, trying to contradict what you know in your own common sense, yet they claim to be all about Christ Consciousness, sometimes known as Cosmic Consciousness, when it is well known hat one of the most fundamental teachings, if not, THEE first teaching in Christ consciousness is about seeing things as they are, not as the holder wants to see them.
@@selenem3384 Oh, just saw your comment there. Yes, and the cleverest trick that the devil has devised is deceiving people into thinking that he does not exist.
One of the things I experienced was judging a person's spirituality by how offended you got when the leader said or did something wrong. It made people afraid to speak up or call them out.
I have experienced this all through my life growing up in an extremely religeous household. The "forgiveness" piece especially struck a cord... it has been used on me several times and is a huge trigger for me. Thank you for bringing awareness and calling out this type of abuse. I'm only now starting to identify and try to undue all of the damage it has caused me in my life by setting the appropriate boundaries with certain family members.. Your videos give me strength and validation❤ Thank you.
So Great! Your videos go beyond and teach us what we really need to know to protect ourselves!! Thank you so much! I need to ask you two questions, 1) can a spiritual narcissist be in another environment, not only in a religious group? 2) Can there be energetic cords with a narcissist that you weren’t intimate with? When you said spiritual Hoover, I couldn’t believe it, I just went through that yesterday! You really are Amazing in teaching us! Thank you so much again! 🙏🙏🙏❤️
Yes they can be anywhere in society and not necessarily in a group. You could meet them as friends or dating. And yes energetic cords can be created with strong emotional experiences and not just sex.
I love your 8 spiritual recommendations to follow! It's amazing that you said you can feel their psychic energy even when you're not around them and for a time after I left that relationship.
They also can use in a perverted way the theory (law) of attraction saying that YOU created their cheating/abuse/bad behaviors because of YOUR emotions/fears/suspicion toward them... (especially in the case they already betrayed/cheated/abused)...
@@InnerIntegration very fucked up indeed, and confusing if you start to wonder if it might be true... especially when the person is not only your partner but a well known speaker about intuition , doing workshops with hundred of people, etc. :-/
LOL I have come to think that maybe they are saying we are the powerful witches that messed up their life...how? and okay then glad to be of assistance in you creating your own downfall!!!
Meredith Miller, I thank you so much for this video! It has helped me move on from a relationship where I was made to feel my inner pain was the reason she broke up with me. She said I caused her nothing but pain, even though all I ever did was bring to fruition everything she ever asked for at an instant to near instant pace. I had a lot of things happen such as having to fight off an old roommate who attempted to take my life, and I am only alive today because I succeeded. She made it seem as though the pain from this and other incidents towards myself had brought her nothing but pain. She tore me apart, sending all my chakras into a state of disarray, and complete dis alignment, my sacral chakra was even shut down. The thing I don't understand is, as I got to know her, I felt all my chakras slip into alignment and all my disorders almost completely vanished over the span of a week. I was suddenly able to properly communicate with people, I was no longer blind to social cues, I felt very in my own personal power. It was only after we met in person and she said I could rant to her if I needed, yet she wanted me to be in the moment with her only. I avoided ranting, saying only a handful of things that were eating away at me, nothing super deep because I knew she couldn't handle it, is when she started picking away at me, claiming I caused nothing but pain in her life, and so many other things, in the last 2 days we were together, she hit ever trigger of mine so much, my traumas I had all bottled up in life burst free, flooding me with every trauma I ever experienced in life, left completely abandoned by another person that said they never would (every person I ever let into my life, including my own family). It's happened so much in my life, I refuse to let it ever bring me down again, I'm only able to move forward, and that's it! Like I was saying, this video has helped me let go of her and realize that I've had these abilities to talk to any person and improve their day the whole time. I was able to as a kid bring this joy into people's lives and now, little does she know, I'm still able to bring these abilities forth, no matter the state of my chakras now. I'm much stronger for what she did. Now for the most part freed of the blockages caused by the life I chose for myself before I was sent down, in order to learn the lessons I am required to learn, to become the man I am to become. It's now my goal to be completely freed of whatever is left. I thank you so much for your video Meredith Miller! I can now move on from her and I feel less constricted for it! Thank you so much again Meredith Miller, may you be blessed with peace, love, and tranquility. Namaste and much love 🙏
Fab content. Your reference to love relationships/polyamory, was so right on. I live in a part of California where poly life styles are not uncommon. Sometimes you just have to get out of the conversation,once you know which direction it's heading.
@@DamyanTenev Psychopaths are detached. They can't form bonds with other human beings. Human bonds are normal and natural and are in NO way the kind of attachment we should avoid. It's what keeps communities and families united and strong. What would happen if a mother and child were detached? Our survival is dependent upon attachment/bonding. People often get this kind of attachment with the kind of attachment we are SUPPOSED to avoid - attachment to materialism, to outcomes, etc. I will remain fully attached to those I love, thank you very much. The key is not to attach to the WRONG people. Made that mistake in my youth, but NOT now.
the majority likes to be deceived or rather live in a state of dissociation - so spirituality isn't helping these types with anything as they refuse to deal with their problems and how things really are.
My ex is a spiritual narc. He nearly destroyed me. The gaslighting was his favorite... and not allowing me to ever have negative emotions. "Wow you're such a bitter person... have you meditated today?" Ugh
Sorry hon
Great example!
Wow
Teal Swan has a great video here on RUclips about "React Positively" that summarizes it nicely... -- example: I NEVER TELL you the truth because you always react badly. It's now on YOU to control yourself even though I had an affair and am an asshole. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
get out and stay out and WATCH for the Flying Monkeys to do their bidding for them. IGNORE. NO CONTACT. LOW CONTACT. Whatever you can do to 'build your wall' up... and let out information about yourself slowly. Really... learn to be alone and to not NEED a community to provide your self worth and value.
good luck!!!
I would tell you the exact opposide like, go out on the fields and screem it all out and when it's not enough, screem it at me, I can take it as long as you don't kill me bit the anger has to come out. And THEN you can think about meditating....
You also need to watch out for people who talk about spirituality a lot, but in practice take no responsibility for themselves. Some will justify things like not working by saying they are on a spiritual journey and only want to do what feels right to them...while expecting others to provide for them. Some "artistic/musician" narcissists are like that too.
Well, we are all on a spiritual journey, news flash, and still need to feed and house ourselves!
Don't fall for that crap!
Exactly 💯
Yes!!
💯💯💯
I dealt with this from a pastor last year. The abuse, bullying, gaslighting, shaming, smear campaigns, isolation, all of it. I exposed that church/cult leadership months after I left. True Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing.
I'm sorry you had to go through that
@Marc H he didn't say the dude wasn't saved...he said he was a Narc.
James Green I've literally seen this in almost every religious group/church I've attended. I understand. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
@Marc H well that's your interpretation. But that may not be what he meant.
@Marc H Yes, I am aware of that Bible verse sir 😅
There’s an abundance of narcissism in the ‘New Cage spiritual movement. Also the spiritual sexuality arena.
yeah I actually played this video over and over again to see if I missed something... a lot of this is rampant in the new age bs community
Yep - my narc was one of those. Next level fucks you up
Rampant in New Age.
Reading the comments it dawned on me that basically this happens in everyplace highly traumatized people go to seek help... where there's vulnerability, Narcissism appears.. Like sharks smelling blood..!.. how exasperating!.. I 've experienced this behavior in doctors' offices too...
It’s incredible how common it is and yes doctors offices are another great example. I stopped going to doctors in 2000 after I had enough of their abuse.
Inner Integration I concur and right there with you except I’m much older. It is my responsibility to take care of my mind, body and spirit. Love your work Meredith🦋
Meredith Miller, I believe narcissism is rife in western medicine due to the status associated with being a doctor and the "God complex"
@@InnerIntegration how strong spirited & clever of a young girl to take this decision !.. Proud of you...
@@johnnyutah6056 ...Yes, indeed, the "God Complex", but also the society that puts them on a pedestal. I thankfully, have found some kind genuine, caring GPs, and a few Specialists, as well...but they are sadly a rarity.
At the moment, I have a great Doctor, who treats me like an equal, and listens. So grateful for THAT!
Having several Chronic illnesses, I have experienced, a lot of Covert Narcissistic behaviour, from both mainstream medical practitioners, & alternative/energy/ Spiritual healers.
Thank God there are still some good ones out there!!!!!
Videos like these help to give us information, on what to look out for.
It’s funny but these points remind me of my experiences when I studied at a prestigious art school. Just swap the religious/spiritual language with art language instead lol
That totally makes sense!
Omg! I noticed the same thing when I went to college. I was originally going to double major with art & psychology. I ended up dropping art because of that. It IS kind of funny tho...like dude...it's just art...relax 😅
"Art" is artificial, therefore art is always trying to pretend something magical exists - like religion.
@@sugabear161 the arts make people into beasts for competition and to get ahead
"Happy Little Trees."
I was having a conversation with a New Age guru, and I couldn't understand a thing he said because of word salad. After the conversation was done, he left and I was left questioning what he was talking about. Anyway, great vid!
"guru" lol
OMG YES! The mirror concept. That’s the one that I was trapped in for a long time. I took responsibility for EVERYTHING. So sad.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️this😱😱😱😱
7:29 The devil wants you to "look" holy, but God wants you to "BE" holy.
Indeed!
This hurt me the most by my congregation. Shocking!!Lovebombing. Isolation. Devaluation. Assuming MY emotions. Haters. Jealous. Envy. Callous. Manipulation. Proud of themselves. Disgusting individuals. My 50 year friendship ended with one covert narc here. She only gave me her undivided attention when I sold my house and got a new car.
They make me sick!! I can’t even look at them. And I can now spot them immediately!! I walk away w/o regrets.
240 days no contact today. And it was YOU that taught me. It saved my life and sanity.
Hugs to you for going past your personal trauma and help the world to heal. That’s a big deal, a very big deal. ❤️
Great job!! 🙌
It does hurt. I’m sorry it happened. Luke 17:1: “Then he said to his disciples: “It is unavoidable that causes for stumbling should come. Nevertheless, woe to the one through whom they come!”
ormorphe Luke, the doctor. My NWT Bible says the same thing.
I AM free and disassociated with all the narcissists of my past. No Contact process takes a long time because of things like this that we are unconscious to, until we wake up. ❤️
М. 1. They find you. 2. Immediate intense interest. 3. Pulling on you for emotions, information, time, etc. I liken it a forced entry into someone’s home.
М. Sure. They become assertive, aggressive, demanding, physical, and blaming in order to keep you next to them and engaged in long conversation because they are starving for social contact. They’ll even toss out lots of negativity in order to get negativity in return. The more emotional the exchange, the more they feel their blood coursing through their body. It charges them up.
I learned a lot from Meredith. She overcame trauma also. I follow her example and make videos to assist others. You may find a video that you like. 🌴😎
When I was in an abusive marriage all the „spiritual“ self help books made me believe it was my fault and if I could love unconditionally he would change.
Thinking back that was abuse, too. And all the positive thinking crap ... I threw away the books when my youngest son said „ I wish Daddy was dead“ and I went to a great counselor who helped me to separate and end the abusive relationship.
I found my way back to good spirituality. Meditating etc but I also educated myself on narcs. No BS for me anymore! 😁
Word salad - that‘s what most of those books were.
Problem is that seekers who want to understand life and the meaning of life are wonderful folks (empaths and highly sensitives) who are easy prey to narcs. 😬
So your work is soooooo important.
Thank you Meredith ❤️🌻
Teacher Susan i agree with you. Self help books can be a trap, specially those that talk about the Law of Attraction or that the world is your mirror.
Claudia Castillo yes, they really f.... up your mind ...
@@claudiacastillo5898 or those that educate that you can heal yourself with your mind only
@@selenem3384 Yes!!! It’s delusional. And it’s also a form of victim blaming because they claim that if you’re sick it must be because you weren’t positive enough. The body is very complex and many things come into play.
So true!! Even the books!
Religion is a breeding ground for narcassists!! It brought so much pain and self hate in my life but I'm free now. This video has been so great. So good I had to leave two comments!! Lol. ❤️❤️❤️ I love you Meredith
Trying to regain my confidence and self love... It's so hard when I'm around them
Jesus = Isaiah 53
this hogwash is also rampant in new age yoga communities
@@letscookfun5496 I never felt so lonely and awkward even in yoga studios... nevermind the church. These people don't love you, they are competing to be the teacher's pet, who can kiss arse the most, to fight for a yoga teacher position is like high school politics...and then you are expected to submit to these "people" who are vindictive control freaks beneath all the new age yoga glitz and glam,and unicorn farts
Regardless of what narcissists claim to be, they're always sloppy at what they do. _"By their fruits you shall know them."_ Narcissists impress by juggling a few phrases and words, but they have no indepth knowledge at all; and they will ALWAYS flaunt their narcissistic traits: grandiosity, superiority, entitlement, know-it-all-ism, refusing responsibility, shaming, guilting, isolation, secrecy, etc. It doesn't matter what the narcissist portraits to be, their core traits will always be there.
Cendy D. You said it perfectly!
This was THE video I needed today. I’ve just escaped something like this, survived the cycle of hot and cold plus devaluation, only to hear “you’re such an unstable person now, nobody wants to be around someone like this, and that includes me… you need center and be whole”. Gee, I wonder who was the one making me unstable 😒
You surprise me by putting words to things I've been through. It is hard for me to articulate it. I think the complex ptsd shuts down my ability to verbalize it clearly.
I used to have a horrible time trying to communicate and express myself. It gets better as the brain heals!
@@InnerIntegration Thank you so much for telling me this. 💚
Inner Integration sweet Meredith thank you for saying that as The healing process is no easy skate.
Inner Integration I am dealing with this now in my life... it’s so bad that every day Scripture is used against me to tell me that I’m a horrible man and that I don’t love God. Then, when I start expressing my emotions, she starts saying “I rebuke you satan!” over and over again and won’t stop until I stop talking
Yes i feel this so bad
Not just religion, but the way “Social Influencers” have a strange power over often thousands of very young followers is very similar. The most dangerous part of this is how these “stars” make these young impressionable followers feel they really are friends with them, and that they “love” and care about them so much, when bottom line, it’s how much money they can make off of them. It’s something that everyone especially parents need to be very aware of.
Excellent point!
This is extremely prevalent in the 12 step program I'm involved in. It's been incredibly harmful to vulnerable people seeking recovery and it's caused irreparable harm to many lives. I've been combating it alone for years now and have been the target of relentless narcissistic abuse.
When I made this video I hadn’t even thought about the 12 step groups but that makes total sense.
Thanku for sharing this. Just like another commenter stated, anywhere there is vulnerability, narcissism emerges.
Very important subject, thank you!
Some things I've experienced and/or seen:
They will get you to "work on yourself" to jump through hoops for them.
They will do the things that they want without regard for you and excuse them with how they are so "spiritual evolved" (like polyamory).
They will "read" you uninvited and pretend to know you better than anybody else.
They will give the impression that they hold the key to your spiritual development.
They will give the impression that they hold the key to you developing your spiritual gifts, your clairvoyance, your intuition, and your ability to use these traits for success.
Look out for the flashy ones, the ones with a big ego.
Even royalty can fall for this...
Yes...Master boundary violators!!!!!
I’ve met therapists EXACTLY like this. They want you to believe they know better than you and that you must learn from them. They devalue, gaslight and use coercive control. They shame, blame and confuse you into submission. Plus, they already have all the information you gave them and use it against you.
The attitude: I’ve done nothing wrong. The only reason you’re upset or reacting like this is because of the many flaws you have. Let me list them for you. You need to take time out and work on yourself. Does that ring bells with anyone? 😢
Oh, man, the part about containing our negative feelings, really flips me out.!! Very evil form of abuse... I see it very often in narcissistic personalities... In the country i live in, this is a generalized social conditioning mostly for women & paired with familial abuse, it can even cause premature death, the rates of which for women here is off the charts...
Wow. Is that Japan?
@@InnerIntegration Greece..! I guess this is true for Japan too but it kind of applies to the entire Japanese population, imo.!.. In Greece only women who are older, mothers, & narcissistic-aggressive are respected in some form... & plenty of them are themselves 'positive oriented' tyrans..! Covert Narcissism at its finest!.. seems to me that the notion that women must be agreeable is deep seated in a lot of countries too.. I think that G. Mate has said in some of his speeches that the rate for female hospital patients is 90%..due to higher emotional pressure...
7:35 "Everything is a mirror" is projection. They project on you what they know plenty about, things they master, know full well about … thinking that you become tripped up and the they own you. But alas, we quickly recognize and respond strategically to this tactical play. A quick come back isn't always necessary. Listen, learn, cognate, then plan for the next round of defense/volley.
Meredith, thats so funny, i was just watching a video about yoga cults.
There are so many! My friend in Thailand told me about several of them getting exposed for abuse scandals.
@@InnerIntegration oh yes, no doubt. the interview i was watching was going into a bit of detail about it.
“You have to look at your resistance,” is the line I’ve heard the most. Again it’s a spiritual truth being used as a tactic of abuse.
Wow. That reminded me of another line I heard: “Do you know what resilience is? Well I don’t think you have it.”
How is it being used as abuse?
@@LucaAnamaria It is a form of gaslighting. The abuser dodges questions about the value of a proposed course of action by saying that the existence of the questions shows a defect in the mind of the person who is asking.
@@rickaster Can you please give a concrete example?
@@LucaAnamaria “What will taking this course do to solve the problems in my life?” “You’re just feeling resistance. You know what results it will give you, so you need to look at what it is that’s making you hold back. Is it self-sabotage? Fear of success?”
A terrible thing my brother's narcissistic ex told him: "Thoughts affect reality. Your doubt about our relationship is what causing problems. You should get rid of the doubt."
That's so manipulative and destructive, actually trying to control someone's thoughts, both blaming him for what's wrong in the relationship, and making him feel guilty for doubting.
Oh my gosh It makes me nuts when people make this kind of blanket statement. This is absolutely toxic
People now have forgotten the essence of just being yourself and being genuine it’s become an epidemic 😷 no one ever talks about how toxic this behavior really is , love your videos .😁👍🏻
So glad I found this. Spiritual gaslighting is really insidious and SO confusing to decode when you’ve been worn down. Finding the very fine line between forgiveness/unconditional love and healthy boundaries can be really tough!
You find them in the Art/creative world too.
I was duped time and time again by people in the art/acting/writing industry in different ways, they always seem nice an helpful to begin with.
It's a sad truth that many in the artistic industry are now extremely narcissistic. As a published author I find that money and fame and promoting one's fantastic personality always comes before developing one's art. So sad that this happens in out times, and so sad for all the great and humble genuine artists, writers and musicians who came before.
Wow - deep thanks!!! I absolutely love how you have summarised the whole subject of spiritual narcissism. This is a real gift, Meredith and I really appreciate that you've shared. It seems rampant in this world and something that really needs to get out there. I am sharing this.
So good to hear folk speaking like this. In my line of work I've suffered for years with people not accepting that one wishes to be oneself, not a cog in a giant narcissistic wheel of SO-CALLED lovers of ancient culture, Earth, and nature. Am writing another book about this as I have had it up to the chin!
Excellent advice. Avoid groups that do not want to engage in conflict resolution, or do not have guidelines to do so--which are unfortunately, most spiritual organizations! Another term that Christians will use is--"you are rebellions!" when you are challenging authority. I was once told by a pastor that he thought I had histrionic personality disorder, and I couldn't talk to him until I went to a psychotherapist. When I did go the a therapist and she said that I had no personality disorder--he ignored the report.
Spiritual groups that have no structure because they want to go with the flow, or let the Holy Spirit--are going to be really dangerous. The tyranny of structureless means--someone will be in power, and power is not shared.
I am just now re-entering a group where I was hurt deeply, and I think they have made some changes. This video helped me be alert, and I will draw boundaries, and not let people gas light me.
Thanks for this video--I put it on my play list and even made a special play list called spiritual narcissism. because spiritual groups are ideal to find vulnerable people. So sad! Father, forgive them, and even if they do know what they are doing, protect me from getting enmeshed. Help me stay alert and intelligent.
My mom 100%. Very damaging and ALMOST impossible to get out from under. No contact and years of group therapy. I still struggle.
One of the other advocates with a channel had video that spoke of N’s religiosity wetting my appetite for sane perspective as in seven years of group and individual I did speak of this but as good as my facilitator and MD were, there was no validation that this element did play added havoc onto the tapes that looped constantly dominating my thought world and self concept as one of the devils humans. So as I recovered some reality based self concepts , even more perplexing questions posed the “how could she even ... will she go to heaven, does her “stewardship@ negate her damaging of me as I’m just one ? I was discharged from group and 1:1 in 1996, 22 year wait for some validation. I’ve pictured in my mind the brick wall being only ankle high and I have easily stepped over it but IBD it would still trip me at times. Your video and the other one crumbled more away so thank you. I did view the linked one of yours. I am about to listen again to this one,🎈❣️❤️
I hav e to say that she constantly studied took theology courses and was a bookstore of the seminary manager, had book learning but no real gifts or any authentic anything related to spirit. She is quite the character actor. The truth is I am sure she is atheist yep she actually considered herself god, like all Narc’. She will go directly to hell if there is a hell, she’s demon and grown more masterful in her advancing age. Totally unbelievable what she STILL does to use me as source, without even speaking to me. These are the reasons I continue to have to work the program to get past total trauma. I never know what she will do next and she lives in a different state ha it’s my choice to not be defeated completely - I use my basics and other tools not to disintegrate. It is possible but not easy, I work it.
@@CN-dv9nj I feel your pain, my mum is a soul sucking monster that ravaged my life completely.. keep going where you can be fully healed and accepted, much love x !
Oh dear... I've had lots of narcissistic experiences! Forming healthy boundaries has been one of my greatest lessons in this life! Great video! 😅
Boundaries are the business indeed great video.....these spiritual narcs are dangerous
as much as i hate to say it, i see this in a lot of buddhism. I'd really like to use that framework to work on meditation, but so much of the advice surrounding abuse seems to blame the victim and send them right back to them to get them to change. i still remember a video of a young kid crying when he asked something along the lines of "my father keeps hurting me and i want to get him to change, but i don't think i can keep doing it." i really hope someone else told him to stay away from his father and not just "that abusive seed is in you too and if you don't forgive & forget you'll hurt other people". it isn't that the kid couldn't have effects from the abuse but denying that pain is..... ugh.
i always wondered why i would dissociate and revert to old stages of recovery after watching those kinds of videos. now i know it's more manipulation
i really recommend theramintrees videos on this subject, if anyone is looking for help with frustrations regarding organized religion or cults. they talk about spiritual manipulation but use a lot of narcissistic abuse jargon. their video on copying abusers is very validating and helpful
@@horizonanadyomene Theramintrees is a fantastic channel, although i didn't end up being an atheist, it helped me a lot! Fantastic and very educative!
@@horizonanadyomene .. but denying the pain of being abused is what turns a victim into an abuser & perepetuates the cycle, in many cases! .. no wonder you were regressing after watching this bs...
Thank you for helping the Masculine Imperative
As I hail from an indigenous culture, I spent years trying to get people to follow their OWN leads with soul-seeking, and urging great care where joining groups, cults etc. are concerned. Travelled the world with workshops on my culture, and at first, people understood where I was coming from, at least back in the noughties, but slowly they began to change through the noughteens, as narcissism crept in more and more. My advice is take care of ALL groups, be wary. I am especially concerned with speaking out against neo-shamanic groups which are rife these days. A genuine person from an ancient indigenous culture will never have a narcissistic approach and tell you what you should do to "spiritualise" yourself. I must confess I don't trust modern religions, whether Buddhism or anything else these days. Had it up to the chin.
Yeah, that psychic "hoovering" stuff felt more like psychic attacks and intrusions in my dreams...had that happen for a couple of years after moving away from a small community full of those abusive spiritual narcs. Then I figured out that a few of the people I was still in contact with were reporting right back to the abusers every time they talked to me. After warning both these people sharply that the only way we could remain friends was if they did not share or speak of any interactions with me, one woman did as I asked and the other kept sharing. After I cut that last remaining indirect contact the dreams finally stopped.
So lesson is to cut off the covert "flying monkeys" too if you are still getting intruded upon. Block their emails with a filter, block them on social media and block anyone who is getting info on you and reporting back to them. You can cord cut all you want but until you stop those info leaks there could still be intrusions.
So Right My Dear Meredith ji😮😮😮Thank you. Thank you My Shri Krishna and Thankyou UniverSe...🎉🎉❤
BTW, sharing this on a group I'm in of ex-Jehovah's Witnesses.
Thank you so much for speaking about this vital topic! Being preyed upon in an supposedly safe space of a spiritual community is such a heart breaking experience. Also the amount of brainwashing and triangulation that takes place is mindblowing. Especially if you don't have a firm trust in your own perception (which you don't if you were raised by narcissists) being told by an often well-meaning group to "just let go" and "just trust the process" and "face all fears" is so destructive. The practice of sharing in spiritual groups can be so enriching but also extremely dangerous because its prerequisite is to open up BEFORE you know if you can trust or not. I jumped out of my chair when you mentioned polyamory. Exactly! It is insane how certain individuals abuse, betray and devalue others by selling polyamory as an "enlighten" and "free-er" form of relationship. To them, you are either enlighted AND polyamorous or you are not. In which case all your concerns, needs, longings, wishes and emotions ar invalid and egotistical ("this is your conditioning sweetheart, just relax and trust!") and need to be "healed"
I was taken in by one of these deeply disturbed individuals. My new spirituality totally exploited. Thankfully, I have grown stronger than ever before. I am not new to abusers but this one is really something else! So dangerous and deceptive. He's so calculated and sick
Thank you Meredith for this video and all information you share with us.
I've worked with supervisors who are overt narcissists and the covert ones (especially "spiritual" narcissists). The covert narcissists were the most evil and dangerous. The mind 'fu@kery' is so damn strong, it really did a number on me.
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION, IF YOU START FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE OR CONFUSION...DON'T DISMISS IT.
The information in Meredith's videos have been EXTREMELY freeing, empowering and healing 🙏.
Stay AWAKE everyone 👀👂
Thank you for your teaching.
Elders of various cultural medicine practices say,
"Do not carry anything and do not pick up what is not yours."
You give very clear examples.
This is funny because I just started a channel about exploring spirituality in the wake of narcissistic abuse. Your video is kind of the opposite scenario: finding narcissists embedded within spiritual circles -- which I know is a big issue!
Lots of great info here, and great point on mirroring, but I think there's something more to it. Narcissists are amazing at one thing: Triggering us. And through those triggers, we can uncover a lot about ourselves. It's like looking at a mirror image that has all the ugly parts of ourselves exposed. We can either face them and heal or keep pretending they don't exist (and keep attracting narcissists). I think overall, it's the inner work that will keep us safe from emotional abuse.
Very valuable content. I was raised by psychopathic narcs and my last “mentor” tried to spiritually assassinate me, my career and character. I learned so much through this. I feel we have an epidemic of narcs and I feel it stems from emotionally disconnected and volatile childhoods that were never healed. We have raised generations of emotionally numb children who in turn have become morally degenerate, emotionally numb, cruel in nature, and completely in denial of reality. In my experience all narc experiences severe trauma, if we desire to shift the epidemic I feel we must address childhood trauma on a large collective scale.
Attending things with a friends is an excellent idea for all the reasons stated in the video. But also be aware of this too: if the friend gets sucked in you may doubt yourself feel more pressure to get hooked as well. So, even with a friend, make sure to self-validate anything that doesn't feel right, always go with your own intuition and gut, don't value your friend's judgement over your own. As always, an excellent, clear, insightful video.!
Great point!
This is exactly what I’ve been going through. Nightmare. Super creepy people. I would be open to talking to you about it if it would help other people, Meredith.
creepy is an understatement - these people are beyond dark or demonic
The stuff about the mirroring, these con artsists teach, is ludicrous.. I think that the cause for encountering abuse happens to us bc we have these parental abuse wounds that we have repressed, & we fall into the same pattern again & again in order to wake up, & process what's been done to us since childhood.. another explanation is that when our parents or others abuse us, we, empaths, tend to burry our legitimate anger & negative feelings & this results in giving off a vibration that attracts predators...
we ALL want to be loved.
it's an Achilles Heel... we must acknowledge it and then develop ourselves within that knowledge.
it's TOUGH.
So true.
You are so spot on. I absolutely agrew and can relate. It's comforting to know other's feel the same way. Thank you Meredith for sharing such amazing life long tips with us all.
@@luv2dancesalsa not all people want to be loved - narcs/paths want to be obeyed. For us kind people yes, love is a weak spot.
wow well articulated
Thanks for posting this I’m in the spiritual community and just ran into one of these people not many people post about this at all
Thank you so much for making this video. This explained everything with my now ex boyfriend. What had me so confused the whole time was how someone so "spiritually evolved" could be so blatantly abusive in front of me eyes.
Great points about mirroring and the yin/yang. That is so helpful, and thanks for another great and well thought out video!
yeah and they hate people who understands shadow work and have integrated both yin and yang
7:24 THIS happened to me. I was triangulated, and had to remove myself. This came at me from both sides. This stuff is so treacherous.
Ohhh how accurate you are. I felt for this, people turned on me because of one narcissistic who painted me as some evil person! Thanks for your channel!
Forgive and cut contact. Forgiving does not mean becoming a doormat and enduring abuse after abuse. It means wishing them well and going your own way.
The mirroring interpretation was brilliant !
This is such a great topic to explore and touch on. I think a lot of abuse goes unnoticed in the spiritual arena. Thank you for this
Not even all the way through the video yet and i have to comment...
“You don’t love me like you should.” And... “You’re hateful.” These are the two lines i heard most from my abuser.
Labeling the abuse, the tactics... LIFE!!! When i learned this, i could almost feel my mind physically expanding, my understanding finally relax, and my power explode... not to mention the ability to hold onto my peace for longer periods of time. LEARN TO LABEL, people!!!
Thanks, as always, Meredith!
I am in a graduate program for counseling psychology currently, and my university has a spiritual component. The WORST is when professors and students refuse to do their own work, and use their "education" as a cover for their abusive behavior. I always wonder if they're doing it on purpose, if they know what they're doing, or if they're really that far bought into their own BS. Either way, it's scary to think of therapists, pastors, and other trusted people who are supposed to care for others, using their power to abuse.
A goldmine for the justifications they need to get anything they want.
Very good video. Another good point is that when they perceive you're about to leave or see through them, they'll add on layers more of masks to make you doubt everything you thought in secret.
Hello Meredith. Thank you for you discussion on this topic -- its one that isn't really addressed but is the most dangerous. Here's my story: The spiritual abuse was by the ex narc husband. During our marriage he methodically and repeatedly spiritually gaslighted me saying "God" was damning him and leaving him in darkness because he married me. It was as if he was "seeding" me with the darkness he felt. Not knowing what was going on and didnt understand boundaries -- I absorbed that darkness.
He held this over my head during our marriage -- imagine how that would make a person feel ..
On the surface, he was fun, giving and "loving" but then he'd vile rage at me to the point where I was in a fetal position on the floor. He constantly cycled through the idealize, devalue and discard. His subtle daily and outright acts of abandoning me were constant. All this kept me in an emotionally dysregulated state.
I knew something was wrong -- there were hints (sometimes big ones) but I was too scared to confront them. I became a shell of who I was before and started self medicating just to cope (I know bad excuse and I own my actions). For him,
I became "unable to handle." He smeared me to family and friends -- but very carefully. He used the "I just don't know what to do" victim story. I was horrified when I learned he was discussing my personal struggles with strangers. I went from him thinking I was a beautiful being full of light and love to a thing he disdained.
While all this was happening he was having an affair .. He used "God" as his justification for the affair and God's "direct commandment" to leave me for the new supply (who he married). God told him the new supply was THE ONLY person who he should be with and the delusion was supported by the new supply. How perfect in execution was this --- One can never defend one's self against "God's" commandment and he saw no accountability for his actions because, "God told him." God became the scapegoat .. his excuse.
Where now is God in my life .. I'm not sure. The one source I always looked to for healing became the insidious, twisted and distorted tool the ex used to abuse me. My inner light was attacked in a way I never thought could happen. Its still there but in hiding and I fiercely protect it. There is no way to describe how this type of abuse threads it pain into one's soul.
She was a yoga teacher and a "councilor" she used love bombing to open me up fast and mirror me then all the awful techniques you talked about including gas lighting and brushing off my concerns and emotions. She had no conscious and could never take responsibility for her own actions. Everything was someone elses fault. She was horribly damaging but I learn sooo much about myself and changed for the better. Thank you Meredith!
Great video Meredith! I have experienced this in romantic relationships with spiritual narcissists and I’ve observed it within yoga communities and vegan communities as well. Very dogmatic and manipulative mindsets - not all!! But some. I’ve also experienced this through online channels. I’ve interacted with a tarot reader who used intermittent reinforcement and gaslighting on whole groups of people and even spoke about narcissistic abuse through her general readings. When I finally booked a session with her she ripped me off and it left me confused and self-blaming. I finally found a group of people who’d been through the same thing in person and online with her and finally realized OMG this is narcissistic abuse through an online community! She also has a lot of fans/followers who are flying monkeys for her so that’s another thing to watch out for because those psychic connections can be established without physical interaction in the material. Creating mental, physical and psychic boundaries is really important! I’d like to say these online resources like tarot and yoga and veganism can all be extremely helpful and healing but they do seem to be breeding grounds for narcissistic abuse as well.
💗 🙏🏼💗
Wow. Thank you for sharing that! I’m sure this comment will help others who went through something like that.
Inner Integration I hope so! It took me quite awhile to catch on to the pattern even though I’d started my research and recovery from narc abuse at that time 💕
This is such an important point. Easy to find the abusers, far more difficult to source the genuine ones as they'll not ordinarily have loads of followers. I suppose the saying, 'safety in numbers' applies. Many flock to people in this way, but they also don't want to hear a reader or leader of a group telling them that they can find their OWN way to heal as Meredith does here. It's so sad that there are so many getting caught by narcissistic charlatans. The word 'psychic' leads people astray especially when they are told they have a 'gift' in this way. Then there are those who believe they are gifted and don't have a clue what the thing they're supposed to be gifted in is all about - if you know what I mean!
@@PatrickJasperLee570 LOL yeah I am sure the unqualified yoga teacher that my own yoga teacher is using to substitute her classes, also was made to believe that she has some special energy - well her special energy is that she is weak minded, very submissive, easily controllable, and easily manipulated. Does NOT have a strong personality,will do anything for the favours of her yoga teacher. She is a good teacher's pet in other words!!!
@@PatrickJasperLee570 narcissistic yoga teachers don't like people with their own personalities and won't give you an opportunity to shine, if you are not willing to be a blind extension of themselves
One of the main phrases I encountered from a spiritual abuser was 'I know you better than you know yourself'... in some ways in a relationship this can be true, one's partner may notice and identify a repeated pattern that you do, but it does not need to be turned around on you as an insult. If they repeatedly tell you that you don't know yourself after you call them out for insulting you or whatever, it is very dangerous because I found I never knew what to reply to that... certainly one way for an abuser to shut their victim up. Thanks for the video, very useful
yeah the narc always want you to think they have all the answers to your life. sickos - another form of control, they want to be your personal guru and lord and saviour
Thank you for covering this!💕
Wow girl you are spiritually connected to your veiwership!! Would you believe literally three days ago I was thinking oh I should request her to make a video about spiritual narcs. It's been on my mind lately and I thought you'd be the best to cover this. Wow so glad you made this video can't wait to watch. Keep up the good work !
WOW! I was just wondering if a very good friend of mine is actually a covert narc... but I said to myself "No, she's about spiritual enlightenment".
Thank you for this video. My intuition has been swaying me in a different direction - I listened at my first inkling, I'm so thankful and I feel really good.
This is a great video!!
Much love to everyone!
I was waiting for a video on this, thank you so much 💙 I have gone through an experience with a spiritual narcissist, which left me shaken but also I have more clarity now cause of it. He's a follower of a well known foundation in India, and that was what enamoured me first about him. He perverted the truths like you said all the time to serve his own selfish purposes. He gives this picture of his to everyone that he is a 'yogi', doesn't want marriage, is working on overcoming desires, but in reality he only wanted to sleep with me while he was already having an affair with a married woman (his family friend whom he addressed as sister) and his explanation for this polyamorous behaviour was 'Love is universal, don't limit your companionship.' And he twisted the most important fact that the spiritual foundation shared, the concept of 'runanubandha' which says body has memory, hence its better to not have multiple partners if you're on this spiritual journey. When I confronted him about not following it, his answer was 'You don't know much about it, it's not in your experience yet so I can't make you understand it.' His hypocrisy, his twisting of the facts and perverting it, masking his desire to have sex by manipulation using a spiritual cover, just shook me completely. And I started realising how easily we can fall prey when we're vulnerable for some spiritual guidance and it's better to see everything as it is, and connect to the source ourselves in our own way like you said.
I'm thankful for the mirror thing, of the yin and yang that you've spoken in this video. I was feeling guilty, but now I realise how it actually is, the 'divine lesson.' I'm glad you're gonna be making a video on polyamory next.
Wow what great examples! Thank you for sharing. Next week’s topic is polyamory.
Very well explained. Can you share what foundation/organization he was a part?
@@kelley0404 He's a follower of Isha foundation, has done the last course Samyama, and has volunteered there too. My brother and I have done 2 courses offered there as well. Since I felt Sadhguru made so much sense, what he says about most things (I still do), I believed this guy to be genuine and a true seeker. He quoted Sadhguru all the time, also he spoke about Nath Yogis, Mooji, Nisargadutta Maharaj, Osho.. I was too innocent then and believed him to be a genuine human, but now I know better. It was a huge shock. It's really important to see below the surface of how someone appears as, to understand who someone really is, how genuine the person is. Sometimes we fail to see the wolf in sheep's clothing.
Just because someone is fluent and well versed in spiritual academics doesn't make that person truly spiritual. That's something I realised.
Anusha Dharmatti So true and yet heartbreaking. I, too listen to Sadhguru and was afraid this was the man your boyfriend followed. I’m learning though not to identify with organizations and definitely not to idolize people in positions of power. They are people just like you and me.
The mirror concept.. oh my Goodness....i have someone who used this on me ...and because it ddnt always resonate with me...when I would push back she would somehow get upset. ..she is still in my life however I find i am more alert now so try as to avoid feeding into her stuff...thank you...for me its an aunt who is "spiritual" and she realised i am on my own journey..thank you for this..🙏
Thank you for your lecture. It is so valuable! Listening to it brings back memories of all the "spiritual" people and their behaviour, their brainwashing. I cut myself off from all of those in the course of time, be it personal presence or through the RUclips, various spiritual groups. As you said, they make you feel guilty, dirty. Years back I took place in two courses, reiki and accupressure healing. I ran away crying, feeling shamed, humiliated and completely out my energy. It took me quite some time to find my own worth. This video makes all that clear. Good health and happiness to you 🍀🥰🍀.
Bravo dear Meredith! Bravo, you nailed it perfectly!
Very well put. I'd also like to point out that this kind of behaviour won't only come from narcissists. It's also what relatively "normal" spiritual leaders do when they don't realise that they still have to work on their ego. (Which is ironic, isn't it? They're always telling others to work on the ego, but should listen to their own advice).
Some spiritual narcissists thumbs down this video! Really good video! and will help people to avoid these traps. Love bombing is such a major red flag, I remember being part of a well known Buddhist group that is all around the world, and this was one of their tactics. Hugs and loves, and pretty cards sent out, and always there to help. But if you didn't tow the line, that was removed and replaced with something not as nice.
Another awesome video on a much needed topic. I was spiritually / religiously abused from a young age. My mother, who I believe is on the spectrum of Cluster B narcissist, of course being a boundary shatterer that she was, snooped through my journals when I was about thirteen or fourteen. I was being sent to very religious private school (2 older siblings, 15 and 11 years older) had not been.
- I felt dehumanized, alone in the abuse, and erroneously seen as some sort of Golden child by my older siblings and other family members. my older siblings by this time were gone from the home, and I was being abused alone.
Anyway just to backtrack... Once my mother read through my journals (in which I would write about being gay & my feelings surrounding that), she convinced the therapist that I was already seeing to engage me in conversion hypnosis therapy. I didn't see that therapist anymore after 2 sessions, but the icing on the cake is that this was a therapist that really validated, and connected to, (was originally forced to see starting the age of eight or nine). My mother tried to insert herself, successfully for a time, into my therapeutic relationship, by seeing her on a different day. Eventually my therapist stopped that, and gave me what I really needed: a sense of understanding that I wasn't crazy, as my parents were painting me out to be. She alerted me to the degree of dysfunction that I was growing up in, and how my reactions will completely normal. Yet she was a fairly religious woman herself and this was back in the 90s... I believe that she believed in the efficacy of conversion therapy. It was very damaging.
my mother also took it upon herself to "out" me to the entire family and really just paint my sexual preference as antisocial (a word that I was convinced meant something that it didn't, and a very cruel word and projection i internalized data pretty young age. ). She'd have religious community leaders call me. She'd described me as troubled.
jumping to another area of spirituality, I just wanted to say something about the 12 steps. this is an especially vulnerable time for people that are seeking help and guidance. I guess just like with any other group it attract narcissists and the other personality disordered toxic people. Like Meredith says, just go slow and be mindful who you share things with.
I think it's really important for us to start building a sense of autonomy and self love/compassion, and knowing ourselves (I know, gradual process) so that if we try to go to a meeting or whatever it is, if we cross paths with these individuals, we won't assume that they are just "right" because they say they are. starting to pay attention to my intuition and feelings in my body, of course, it can get very confusing with the PTSD.
I think Meredith and maybe others say that the first sign of a problematic situation is confusion.
Thanks Meredith. ❤️🧡💛💙
Eric in New York
.... On this healing journey
So sorry you experienced such shaming for just being yourself. As a "straight" person..I just want to say sorry on behalf of straight people..I know it's only a "token", as I am only one person...but I just can't imagine the inner torment you must have felt.
In my opinion...Jesus is/was about inclusion not exclusion.
I really hope you feel that in your heart someday..that you are trully loved, just as you are.
You are obviously, a very strong, resilient person...hold onto that.
I admire your courage.
You are so materialistic - that‘s what I was called making me feel bad
Just heard one say, you have to love others unconditionally in order to love yourself. Ive been seeing a lot of it lately, especially on IG guru accounts. The spiritual bypassing is rampant, they say just send it love and light and ignore what your gut is telling you. Great discussion🕊😊
Thank you Meredith! You are always Awesome! I love your work...
So grateful you named this so well Meredith. Wow! I first dealt with this with my mother narcissist who trained to be an est leader and used those tactics at home, then she got into a course in miracles and seduced the leader and tried to set us up as a mother daughter enticement to him while drinking, then found it in buddhist circles, as well as even 12 step and new age groups. Very confusing to walk through since spirituality was the way to survive abuse at home. I finally came to letting go of all external gurus and going directly to higher power. But conditioning said one should be excellent, beyond mediocrity etc., society backs that up. Such a valuable, vital topic. Grateful!
narcs always need some form of supply like a cocaine hit, to dissociate from the lives they hate so much
Wow Meredith great job! In a couple relationship the isolation is a must to be in a relationship...buddy system a good idea but in a relationship cant happen. Although hidden cameras can happen! I am still processing the NARC Christian I was with for almost 20yrs of gaslighing, the father of my kids...I still struggle to see it all and to accept it. The married one doesn't discard like the one who jumps from partner to partner. If your married to one of these monster for years I say thanks God for the discard!
My parents were just the church and both were narcs. Many of my spiritual mentors were as well. Most of the work I offer now is teaching how to heal from complex abuse like this.
Wow, I'm pretty much speechless. This is what I have experience with these types of people but I just didn't have the words for what I was witnessing. You have made it so obvious that this information can help people, especially women, protect themselves from these sick demons.
Meredith ....I have learned soooo much from you .... I go to church and you have pointed out some stuff that i need to look at a little closer ..... Thank you for all you do....
the church and new age yoga community is a HOT BED for DEMONS or evil spirits, bad vibes, evil eye type of shit, whatever you want to call evil energy😱😱😱😱
Very good advise, so much of the time spiritual people get badgered by those that are on a regular cycle of "going to church" and try use shame, accusing us as begin unchurched, when you are all alone it is very dangerous to frequent places like that. Probably even more so as any other place, they do have standards that they want to see others follow to a tee. Disagreeing about anything can get ugly.
Always creepy knowledge.. Thank you so much.... And I didn't believe horror movies... 😲😤☹️😮
Dear Meredith,
Thank you so much for this brief and concise summary of key points on the behaviour and ways of a spiritual narcissist. Thank you, you are a great teacher and an awesome person. Thank you for your knowledge and compassion and the excellence on your work.
As an ilustration of their superiority and infallibility and underlying the fact that they cannot be called out on anything or told they are wrong in their spiritual perception I'd like to mention something that happened to me --This is just a micro tiny instance of other things this woman pastor did and said--. She told me i was envious because I wanted to have a family like hers but I didn't want to go through that sacrifice to have it. --- This she told completely out of the blue. I was totally shocked and confused because I didn't want to get married nor have children. And she was so brazenly confident that there was no way she would admit I told her that that wasn't the case at all because obviously she would argue that she had that insigh from God. Since she was the "anointed one" you could not say she was wrong because that would be unbelief and going against God, not her, because she was just a vessel, a servant of God. Basically not believing what she said equaled not believing God. So you become like a puppet in her hands and she completely manipulates your relationship with God, telling you when God is mad at you and you need to repent and when He is OK with you. So in the end your relationship with God becomes one instilled in fear and intimidation instead of love.
Thank you very much for this video! This describes my husband perfectly. He's a member of the United Pentecostal Church. The spiritual narcissism in this group of so-called "christians" is beyond disgusting. Only they have "the truth", that they're the only ones saved on planet Earth, everyone else is in fake doctrine, etc. Even the culture of the United Pentecostal Church is narcissistic. My husband is already a covert narcissist. This video adequately describes him: a spiritual covert narcissist. He actually found a religious group that actually praises him for his narcissism. I hate the phrase: forgive & forget it. This is another tool of a narcissist that allows him/her to continue to abuse you & blame you b/c you can't forgive or forget what he/she did. Bless you for this video!
My Spiritual Narcissist, abused my twin flame telling him she is his twin flame. Now he didn't believe me when I told him he was my soulmate before separation, but during separation he has learnt quite much about Spirituality and these terms. She abused both of us
Thank you Merideth
I am glad because they really hurt and that's is what is happening. I HATE THE LOVE BOMBING
UGH! THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU
VERY GOOD VIDEO!!!
The love bombing is how the always hook people in. The worst part is that it doesn’t look like abuse!
@@InnerIntegration but it feels like abuse...I'm extremely sensitive. And I'm not a jealous soul. So it's stupid. I'm single too no love attraction. The greatest thing is that I'm happy I'm single right now. 🥰
Not thinking ahead just focusing in this moment.
Thank you, Meredith. As a spiritual seeker and a child who was raised in a cult-like religion, this is a topic of great importance to me. I have encountered many seekers who are have fallen prey to this abuse. All narcissistic abuse is twisted, and I personally feel that this form is high on the serious damage list. As with other narc abuse, there are issues of misuse and abuse of power, over and against those who are vulnerable. Thank you again for doing this video. I loved all of what you shared. Deep Bow :-)
yes serious unseen damage and wounds😱😱😱 straight up demonic or spiritual warfare shit going on
God bless you Meredith for creating such powerful videos full of insights! Have been involved with such dreadful type "guru" quite a few times, they are probably one of the worst and most dangerous types of cluster b. Again, listening to your gut is #1 tip , ignoring it instead and believing their words gets you into trouble in no time at all
Thankyou...again..your clear words helped me start healing 3 yrs. ago...like visiting a very insightful Aunt..who tells you the Truth, in an encouraging way :)). It was like leaving a cult. But i finally regained my sense of spirituality!
I've seen a few of your vids, Meredith, and I observe that you are genuine, well-intended, replete in wisdom, emotionally intelligent, intellectually stationed (in general, but specifically relating to subject matter), thoughtful, considerate, balanced, armored and battle ready, … the American girl next door. Booyah to you for your passion to educate regular folks living, loving, doing as they do ea day to get along.
Thank you for confirmation on what Hoovering is. I think the medication my Narc is using is suppresses those tendencies. As soon as my Narc started taking it, I lost interest. The urges to be with them tapered off. It’s really interesting, I feel more free. I prefer my Narc continues to use it so everyone else doesn’t have to.
Great Stuff, as always!
Thank you so much for this video : ) And thank your putting your efforts into this, I am so grateful to you for that. This happened to me too and I even have recorded activity of a spiritual narcissist telling me the things you described about them. It's funny how all narcissists of every kind work in the exact same patters. These drainers gaslight on a material and spiritual level. One of their other favourite phrases is, 'When I believe it I will see it,' as opposed to this phrase which is better known the other way around. For this reason, I have come to dislike the word 'believe' and I have noted that the word 'lie' is right in the middle of the word 'believe.' For this reason, I try to avoid using the word because the word spells out its meaning that is 'to be a lie and live it.' They always say about seeing things differently and for their opposites, trying to contradict what you know in your own common sense, yet they claim to be all about Christ Consciousness, sometimes known as Cosmic Consciousness, when it is well known hat one of the most fundamental teachings, if not, THEE first teaching in Christ consciousness is about seeing things as they are, not as the holder wants to see them.
I did not really believe in the devil or evil until I came to terms with the damage caused by narcissistic pigs in my life
@@selenem3384 Oh, just saw your comment there. Yes, and the cleverest trick that the devil has devised is deceiving people into thinking that he does not exist.
One of the things I experienced was judging a person's spirituality by how offended you got when the leader said or did something wrong. It made people afraid to speak up or call them out.
I have experienced this all through my life growing up in an extremely religeous household. The "forgiveness" piece especially struck a cord... it has been used on me several times and is a huge trigger for me. Thank you for bringing awareness and calling out this type of abuse. I'm only now starting to identify and try to undue all of the damage it has caused me in my life by setting the appropriate boundaries with certain family members.. Your videos give me strength and validation❤ Thank you.
So Great! Your videos go beyond and teach us what we really need to know to protect ourselves!! Thank you so much! I need to ask you two questions,
1) can a spiritual narcissist be in another environment, not only in a religious group?
2) Can there be energetic cords with a narcissist that you weren’t intimate with?
When you said spiritual Hoover, I couldn’t believe it, I just went through that yesterday! You really are Amazing in teaching us! Thank you so much again! 🙏🙏🙏❤️
Yes they can be anywhere in society and not necessarily in a group. You could meet them as friends or dating. And yes energetic cords can be created with strong emotional experiences and not just sex.
Inner Integration That explains a lot, thank you so much for answering my questions and making such Amazing videos!! So helpful!! 🙏🙏🙏
I love your 8 spiritual recommendations to follow! It's amazing that you said you can feel their psychic energy even when you're not around them and for a time after I left that relationship.
They also can use in a perverted way the theory (law) of attraction saying that YOU created their cheating/abuse/bad behaviors because of YOUR emotions/fears/suspicion toward them... (especially in the case they already betrayed/cheated/abused)...
Great point and how fucked up is that!
@@InnerIntegration very fucked up indeed, and confusing if you start to wonder if it might be true... especially when the person is not only your partner but a well known speaker about intuition , doing workshops with hundred of people, etc. :-/
Hmmmmmm. Law of attraction!
LOL I have come to think that maybe they are saying we are the powerful witches that messed up their life...how? and okay then glad to be of assistance in you creating your own downfall!!!
Holy Cow! Thank you Meredith.. How about being stalked by a while coven. All this applies
Meredith Miller, I thank you so much for this video! It has helped me move on from a relationship where I was made to feel my inner pain was the reason she broke up with me. She said I caused her nothing but pain, even though all I ever did was bring to fruition everything she ever asked for at an instant to near instant pace. I had a lot of things happen such as having to fight off an old roommate who attempted to take my life, and I am only alive today because I succeeded. She made it seem as though the pain from this and other incidents towards myself had brought her nothing but pain. She tore me apart, sending all my chakras into a state of disarray, and complete dis alignment, my sacral chakra was even shut down. The thing I don't understand is, as I got to know her, I felt all my chakras slip into alignment and all my disorders almost completely vanished over the span of a week. I was suddenly able to properly communicate with people, I was no longer blind to social cues, I felt very in my own personal power. It was only after we met in person and she said I could rant to her if I needed, yet she wanted me to be in the moment with her only. I avoided ranting, saying only a handful of things that were eating away at me, nothing super deep because I knew she couldn't handle it, is when she started picking away at me, claiming I caused nothing but pain in her life, and so many other things, in the last 2 days we were together, she hit ever trigger of mine so much, my traumas I had all bottled up in life burst free, flooding me with every trauma I ever experienced in life, left completely abandoned by another person that said they never would (every person I ever let into my life, including my own family). It's happened so much in my life, I refuse to let it ever bring me down again, I'm only able to move forward, and that's it! Like I was saying, this video has helped me let go of her and realize that I've had these abilities to talk to any person and improve their day the whole time. I was able to as a kid bring this joy into people's lives and now, little does she know, I'm still able to bring these abilities forth, no matter the state of my chakras now. I'm much stronger for what she did. Now for the most part freed of the blockages caused by the life I chose for myself before I was sent down, in order to learn the lessons I am required to learn, to become the man I am to become. It's now my goal to be completely freed of whatever is left. I thank you so much for your video Meredith Miller! I can now move on from her and I feel less constricted for it! Thank you so much again Meredith Miller, may you be blessed with peace, love, and tranquility. Namaste and much love 🙏
Fab content. Your reference to love relationships/polyamory, was so right on. I live in a part of California where poly life styles are not uncommon. Sometimes you just have to get out of the conversation,once you know which direction it's heading.
That’s the topic of next week’s video!
the yoga teacher having hordes of teacher pets, can be linked to polyamory - supreme narc supply hooked in !
Lol - good call! Leave before the poly talk starts. I know that conversation black hole all too well
How's this one? "Only you can break your own heart." or "It's not evolved to be attached."
Great examples!
Aahh,"it's nothing personal" or "you need to learn to detach ,because attachment holding you back"
@@DamyanTenev Psychopaths are detached. They can't form bonds with other human beings. Human bonds are normal and natural and are in NO way the kind of attachment we should avoid. It's what keeps communities and families united and strong. What would happen if a mother and child were detached? Our survival is dependent upon attachment/bonding. People often get this kind of attachment with the kind of attachment we are SUPPOSED to avoid - attachment to materialism, to outcomes, etc. I will remain fully attached to those I love, thank you very much. The key is not to attach to the WRONG people. Made that mistake in my youth, but NOT now.
Thanks for touching on this part of the ever-widening aspects of this subject. Please listen to and like this informative upload!
the majority likes to be deceived or rather live in a state of dissociation - so spirituality isn't helping these types with anything as they refuse to deal with their problems and how things really are.