SO YOU'RE NOT LEARNING YOUR LESSON... | The Slumflower Hour podcast

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  • Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
  • Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave?
    Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back?
    Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect?
    If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who simply won't learn her bloody lesson...
    Available to stream on Spotify, Amazon and Apple Podcasts via theslumflowerh...
    Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!
    NEW EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY!
    Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: geni.us/pocket...

Комментарии • 55

  • @ashleyd7447
    @ashleyd7447 19 дней назад +16

    Anytime I catch myself thinking that I may be happier in a relationship, I run to watch your videos. It takes me back to reality. My life is amazing the way it is

  • @lalix321
    @lalix321 21 день назад +49

    Can you talk about “beautiful” people who were bullied for being fat/ugly in their childhood and started experiencing pretty privilege in adulthood for the first time? Compared to being born with pretty privilege and how that affects women’s dating life?

  • @tinachristine4573
    @tinachristine4573 21 день назад +25

    My last self sabotage is more than a year ago. I FINALLY learned my lesson.

  • @abillifree
    @abillifree 21 день назад +14

    Bless that security team for ensuring your safety while you experience a moment of joy

  • @mieskaarendorf8247
    @mieskaarendorf8247 18 дней назад +5

    Wow, your wisdom and observation of human behavior are just astonishing. The whole 'aunty' thing is spot on! Growing up, I felt like I was constantly being harassed by aunties in my community (both family and neighbors). They would watch everything I did, comment on my body (even though I was thin, weighing only 55 kg), and still call me fat because I was developing curves, despite still being skinny. I knew they were bitter and miserable, but I definitely lacked compassion toward them and their behavior until now.

  • @humanityandme
    @humanityandme 20 дней назад +10

    I am one of those women who developed a chronic illness during a time I was having troubles with men. It is theorised that stressful situations can cause these illnesses and I remember very well what was happening during that time among some other issues like the pandemic. Sisters take me as the example and listen to her.

  • @GrungeGalactica
    @GrungeGalactica 20 дней назад +6

    I’m 28 and the thing that p1sses me off still is the fact that I lost 2-3 years of my mistakes era to lockdown and it’s not cute for me to be catching up on those mistakes now 🙈. I’m listening regardless, but I still feel like that stunted my growth a lot 🥲 good thing the slumflower is bringing me up to speed real quick!

  • @lllemm
    @lllemm 21 день назад +10

    😭😭😩 chewing us up and spitting us out but this is NEEDED!

  • @estherbee7879
    @estherbee7879 21 день назад +11

    I went against my better judgment and I paid the prize. This episode is for me

  • @PixiePollen-z2w
    @PixiePollen-z2w 20 дней назад +5

    This hit so close to home, my mom has so many autoimmune disorders because she stayed with my abusive dad - and does to this day 😢 I’ve seen her wither away & the stress destroy the person she used to be. It’s so true.

  • @dch3934
    @dch3934 20 дней назад +7

    so many re/minders✨️✨️✨️✨️the grip of patriarchy is WILD when i consider the amount of time I've spent in relationships with men ...yiiiikes

  • @wildmystic8454
    @wildmystic8454 21 день назад +7

    Please do a video on pink tax and how this relates to patriarchy. Love your work!! Keep it up girl!!

  • @tube0307
    @tube0307 15 дней назад +2

    You're prettiest when you're happy

  • @teethenugget
    @teethenugget 20 дней назад +3

    God I love this channel😭 been saving me all year

  • @afkannie
    @afkannie 20 дней назад +2

    THIS episode! Favorite, favorite, favorite. 🔨

  • @Subika13
    @Subika13 18 дней назад +1

    I literally see her look and just need to hear the first word 'So.' And I immediately pause the video and tell this mediocre man I'm speaking with and worried about hurting, to just DO ONE!! We just NEED you Slumflower!!

  • @catarinaprudencio7594
    @catarinaprudencio7594 20 дней назад +7

    I had to be cheated on to realise where my self worth was! I was so dependent on an idea of a man in my life (since the age of 16 up to 27 I never been without a man- casual/dating) and ever since breaking up with my ex I had such a reset of self respect (I was already on some of your teachings). Not only I realised my lack of respect and love for myself, I realised that I was surrounding myself constantly with people I wanted to ‘save/help’. For little over a year I been finally showering myself with love and respect that was long due. My energy is focused on me now. Thank you Chidera! Your work has been so important to me ❤

  • @meganvhhbbigvj9399
    @meganvhhbbigvj9399 18 дней назад +1

    I think self concept is such an important thing for people to develop and that requires working on themselves because the main points in my early 20's when I was taken advantage of by narcissistic abusive men was when I hadn't processed the social conditioning from my covert narcissist mother and threat of violence from my father. Once I learnt and got into acceptance and processing it psychologically how narcissists operate and view me and how I needed to regulate my emotions to not be controlled by the aftermath of abuse and went no contact, that is when I got into spirituality and femdom and for the first time in my life realised how it was through other people projecting and gaslighting me and inducing emotional reactions that my power had been stripped by not realising how I do and always did deserve more out of life and never deserved the abuse to begin with. That my self respect, self discipline and my own self concept was the only thing in this life that can get me to my desired outcomes and future.

  • @kaysmellsgood
    @kaysmellsgood 21 день назад +14

    26:47 not the human race doesn't actually need to continue 😂 tbh it doesn't

    • @Infintekweyol
      @Infintekweyol 21 день назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @zipitzizzy2442
      @zipitzizzy2442 20 дней назад +1

      word, literally it don't need to continue

  • @laoisefitz1934
    @laoisefitz1934 15 дней назад

    A well needed slap in the face for me today, I shall set a reminder to rewatch this once a month.... Why do I have to learn the hard and VERY long way....🙃

  • @mahletadamu2602
    @mahletadamu2602 17 дней назад

    Keep these coming!!

  • @ebonieelainea999
    @ebonieelainea999 21 день назад +4

    Dark skin women don’t age and I love it

  • @FutoXar
    @FutoXar 20 дней назад +2

    I love my mistakes they are just so beutiful and makes me grow as human

  • @prod.murmur
    @prod.murmur 15 дней назад

    Tough love right there haha . Very helpful thanks !

  • @ebonieelainea999
    @ebonieelainea999 21 день назад +1

    Thankyou for this video

  • @tootsiee_roll
    @tootsiee_roll 21 день назад +1

    39:25 literally same
    Love your channel

  • @meganvhhbbigvj9399
    @meganvhhbbigvj9399 18 дней назад

  • @Amaziyubururu
    @Amaziyubururu 21 день назад +1

    This is 🪷!

  • @wtve1228
    @wtve1228 20 дней назад

    I need the last 20 seconds of this video to be my morning alarm and night time reminder! 1:07:53

  • @staceyambergelderbloem3403
    @staceyambergelderbloem3403 20 дней назад +2

    So why did you decide to confront me today infront of everyone?

  • @cellogarcia4266
    @cellogarcia4266 11 дней назад

    Bitter auntie 😂👌

  • @nicole.andrea.10
    @nicole.andrea.10 19 дней назад

    Thank you for that boost of real talk, Slumflower! You always get me realigned and refocused on how to be a bad bitch :D

  • @anagarciadiaz8549
    @anagarciadiaz8549 21 день назад +1

    You r the best hahaha❤

  • @jenn6274
    @jenn6274 20 дней назад

    i need more friends like you

  • @Infintekweyol
    @Infintekweyol 20 дней назад +1

    Send the flood 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @fridamahalo608
    @fridamahalo608 21 день назад +1

    🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @ashleyd7447
    @ashleyd7447 19 дней назад

    🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @C4RYB34R
    @C4RYB34R 12 дней назад

    Oh I have learned my lesson babe. i walked TF away. I cut my hair off short *for me* and I threw away makeup *for me* Naturally me. Anyone can't love me cuz i dont have long hair and wear makeup or whatever they are not for me. Im still very attractive. A bit Androgynous but still cute

  • @yasminwalker4966
    @yasminwalker4966 21 день назад +1

    🙌

  • @staceyambergelderbloem3403
    @staceyambergelderbloem3403 20 дней назад

    and even resort to physical abuse.

  • @staceyambergelderbloem3403
    @staceyambergelderbloem3403 20 дней назад

    I agreed to the video til the "pretty girls mental disability" when it comes to men part however I do also see and agree with what you said to some degree.

  • @yasminwalker4966
    @yasminwalker4966 20 дней назад +1

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tube0307
    @tube0307 15 дней назад

    This show shouldve been fuckin called "Mansplaining".... Unblock ME!!! CHIDERA!!!

  • @goodnessb.4808
    @goodnessb.4808 20 дней назад

    Like❤

  • @SA-su7kq
    @SA-su7kq 20 дней назад +2

    WE 🎀Women🩷 are the ones that got away ✨ always bby✨

  • @dameluz5228
    @dameluz5228 17 дней назад +1

    Let’s not blame the Human Species for what European colonialism has done to the earth. As a descendant of the Caribbean Tainos, i can say that we have fought, bled, died and continue to do so in order to preserve our mother, Bibi Atabey..🧿👋🏾🪬👁️🏝️👁️🪬🫶🏽🧿

    • @MsLunachu
      @MsLunachu 14 дней назад

      I sure hope that’s not a cop out for the way men behave globally…