Biggest mistakes people make when talking to a crush/someone you are interested in
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- First of all, don't compliment the girl/guy you like. Sure, down the road when you are in a relationship, that's fine, but right now, when you are just getting to know someone, it makes you look over-anxious and trying too hard to please. Also, don't constantly initiate texts. Instead, send a text, wait for a response, and then if you get more than a one or two word answer, then go ahead and send another one. Also, don't constantly approach this person. Wait for him/her to approach you. Even if she is shy, she will come up to you if she sees you are interested. And don't let this person know your feelings! It is way too soon. And believe me, she will figure it out soon enough!
Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and drama-filled friendships to tricky social situations and romantic relationships gone south! 
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I like how you really seem concerned about us,your not just giving advice, it's kinda funny.
why didnt i watch dis first before acting desperately towards my crush
if THIS IS WHAT YOU ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE (IN YOUR PROFILE PICTURE) THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR "CRUSH" NOT YOU FOR IGNORING YOU.
I think about that "don't always initiate":
You are right.
No matter how "shy" or "inward" (maybe even introverted) a person is.
If a interest is there then the person should want to communicate.
Subtle clues won't cut it after some time.
I agree and disagree. When a girl tells me that she likes me, I do not consider her as insecure or what you have said. In fact when a girl often expresses her feelings for me, I start thinking about her and gradually start liking her also. So, I encourage people to be direct and express how they feel.
Spot on!
But if you wait for he/she to come up to you and then they do the same, you're stuck.
I personally wouldn't follow that advice. It's stupid
I really wish I watched this two years ago lol. :(
I really wish I watched this 20 years ago
Ditto
@@mytavellingdiary6557It wasn’t uploaded yet, 20 years ago. 😂
Oh my gosh, your hair, your smile, your voice, your personality, your poise, your kindness, your walk, its you, just you! And if you smile at me one more time like that I will have to crawl out of this place! Works every time!
I love that line "of course she 's gonna wanna go out with you if she has any sense" and that last line" it is her loss"...
It's a very fine line between showing them too much attention and not showing them enough, though! (especially with men.... Sometimes you have to be really OBVIOUS for them to get the message!)
you are so helpful. I've lost my dignity several times saying "oh, i like you so much" way-way too soon.
I don't know... I see so many people struggling with this romantic thing, and it would all be gone if people were just honest. I mean, what if I find the person beautiful and just tell them that? Or say that I'm interested on them?... I mean, the worst that can happen is getting rejected, but at least I tried.
I like to put myself in the other end of things to judge them. For example, I would imagine what it would be like if someone came up to me, and started talking to me, and then they said "Hey, I found you really cute". Well, first of all, regardless of who that person might be, I'd feel flattered, and so I'd say "Thank you!". From there, if I liked the person I would certainly say something like "I also liked you!" -besides feeling extremely happy -, but if I didn't like the person I'd say "I'm sorry but I'm not interested. But I'll take that as a complement!"
I mean, from their point of view, I don't see any problem. For me, I just might get rejected. But it's not the end of the world after all. I just figured that, as you said, people should be more authentic, and if they authenticly find you cute, just say it.
+Dhiego Bersan I think the same thing! I'm a straightforward person and tend to get frustrated with people's mind games and playing hard to get thing
Dhiego Bersan you are right. Compliments are great. Everybody loves them.
Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words.
Your videos really help me. They make me feel not so awful for a while. It always come back though no matter how hard I try to fight the feelings. Peace and love xx
Excellent video. Almost made these mistakes and this video made me feel better for playing it safe and not doing them. This girl is lucky that I am interested in her and she isn't the only girl out there but would like to think that she is.
Who the hell tells their crush that they love them? That's so weird.
Really ? I think it's cute. :(
Me when I was a high school freshman 😂
Moike Poie me.
It honestly depends.
I did, regretted it at the time, but now we just laugh about it.
this is random but i just love how white your teeth are.
thats what i was thinking..
mlb, I think it is the lighting, but thank you!
Marie Dubuque how do you keep it like that :D ?
Hi! I'm from Venezuela and I would like to thank you for doing all this videos, you have no idea how helpfull they are to the people who listen to it, including me. God bless.
I really wish I could have someone crushing on me . I wish I could be a teenager again. I miss the late 1990s. I want some one to fall in love with.
Hmm I don't really agree with the first point. Because if someone likes you back then they won't be put off by you saying u like or care about them. And if they're put off by having compliments then they not that interested anyway. So u saved yourself some time. 👍
Thank you so much for this video. It made so much sense, boosted my confidence and opened my mind
I felt relieved being able to talk to my crush today based on what I saw in this video.
This lady helps many people, and I am thankful for that
Marie, you're definitely a bless from the star! God bless you!
You are so right. This girl gave me her number and said to call her. Well after 3 phone calls she didn't answer and no call back. I let that go and moved on!!!
A well-placed compliment can work wonders
*OK but if you're supposed to hold off on texting them and they do the same... talking won't even occur*
Oh my God Marie Thank You Sow much ! your words have open my eyes no wonder he stopped texting me back i ve had express my feeling to soon for him
Know he doesn't Text me back he doesn't call me or whatever but I'll just learn to face it and let it go.... Thank you Marie My gosh Your the best
Im starting to see that holding things back is the thing to do.
This lady is amazing!!!I happen to be someone who does generally very well with the ladies, but once I start having feelings for a girl, things gets f'up...I guess we are never experienced enough kuz what she says here... Was not what I was doing.
Ms. Marie Dubuque, I'd like to thank you. I as well wish I'd heard her videos long time ago.I really do.
I just got over my crush and now he's in my class. Thanks, fate. It seems really funny yet annoying for me because right now, my ex-crush is acting strange whenever he glances sideways at me sometimes and participates. Like he doesn't do that mostly. Which is weird! I'm just like okay, I want to run away and do what I want to do.
lol
I actually told crush that I'm attracted to her within a week of knowing her, because she is very popular. After that, I pretty much ignore her ( mostly because I'm shy), but now she is the one who actually come to me. I'm glad she does that, but unfortunately she still has her long distance boyfriend.
1. Don’t compliment; you are the prize;
2. Don’t always initiate texts or conversations; must be mutual give-and-take
3. Don’t confess your feelings.
In other words play games.
i wish i watched this a few months earlier. haha. thank you though.
btw, this hairstyle suits you also.
1:55 "barely talk to you" aka you as the guy who is doing most of the talking while it should be other way around and she gives you one word answers.
Thanks Marie.I really like your vids.Very concise and right to the point.Also,I like the drama that you put in you voice.Greetings from Miami.
The biggest mistake people make it not talking to your crush cuz your heart start pounding every time you do and you get nervous unless you already knew them and is more confident but beside that your screwed when you recently met her and love at first sight
This advice is gold ❤ Thank you, love you very much
Hey Marie - another way of explaining it that I really liked was: let's say you like a guy and go up to him in a bar and say hi. Instead of then backing off to 'play the game', back off so that you can give him the space to come to you and see if he's the type of guy who has the wherewithal to do that. Because - don't you want to be with the type of guy who has the ability to pursue something he wants? Basically if you're always all over the guy, you're not giving him the opportunity to come to you which isn't fair.
Joe DiPasquale great point!
👏👏👏👏👏
Its a human thing and harmless! Just leave it at that! Dont pursue because most times these usually fade because its a fantasy and should be treated as that!
Hi Marie, a great video, I hope a lot of people benefit from it as it is so TRUE!!! Thanks a lot, and cheers .
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo. Well thought out, and very heartfelt.
they constantly complimented me, they initiated every text and they were being very flirty yet turned me down..well.
Guys don’t play games just be yourself and approach ur crush without being pushy. If U get rejected just move on, plenty of fish out there #NOMOREGAMES
its amazing how different cultures have different ideas. where i used to live, u could not be mysterious and you had to be a more "disciplined" version of yourself.
Urgent! I rarely talk the initiative to talk to my crush, but he talked to me a few times. They weren't really conversations. Pretty much most of our interactions were:
1. The first time he talked to me, he asked about something a classmate sent and if I understood it. I said yes, to which he said awesome. End of interaction.
2. We're walking and he offers to carry what I'm holding. I also sleep and he helps to pull me up. I'm sure he'd do this with anyone since he is nice.
3. I was talking to someone and he comes in to say something humorous that I'll laugh at.
4. We have smiled at each other a couple times.
5. The one time I say something to him was to go, "can I see that?"
Because we were in the same group project together, I got his number via group message. I've only texted him about the project. Due to our limited interaction, is it weird to text him to hint that it'd be fun to hang out? Or would it be weird to send him a friend's request on Facebook? If so, how can I do that without being aggressive about it?
This girl I like is always hugging me when I come up to greet her, and she sometimes touches my hand and stuff, but then she goes and does that to other people too. But she always greets me first when I come into the room. I can't tell if she likes me or not.
I texted this girl i really like 2 times obviously she's not interested if she was she would put the time and effort to reply it says read on the text message so she read it. I won't text back unless she sends me a text. Even if she doesn't reply she can still be interested. Sometimes they like to test guys to see if they are needy the more i keep texting the worse it's going to get. It''s going to chase her away at the point where she will block my number. My chances with her would be over. I see this girl occasionally so when i approach her everything will be at ease since she will respect me for giving her space that might start attracting her towards me since i wasn't needy it shows i have a life and that my life doesn't revolve around her. So guys best to be patient and wait till she texts you back if not move on don't freak out there is plenty of fish in the sea.
I think she's right, you can't look to anxious if you do she knows she has you and then she becomes the boss! Seen this hundreds of times! If you want to get laid then be upfront with the girl, at least she knows and if she, s in? right on , if not move on. If someone pours there heart out on first date and being clingy what do you do? Feel sorry, obligated, do you run? So take it slow and don't be desperate. Good luck!
You`re right on the money with this advice.
I have not complimented her at all, she rarely talks, but I have noticed she dress more sexy, she started doing her nails, and combing her hair nice, wearing clothing that shows off her body. Yet she does not talk, It is hard when she says nothing, she was really fidgety a few weeks ago, now at least she is more comfortable when I am around.
But her being sliinent makes me nervous, I thought I had done something or said something that hurt her feelings for weeks. Last year we would talk to each other but this year she is super quiet around me. I am trying to give it time, hoping she will just say hey to me first, maybe that will be the signal it is okay to keep talking to her beyond just saying hello to her when I see her.
Thanks Marie, I really needed to hear this. There's this girl in class who I really like and I know she knows. I feel like I blew it. I say hi to her every once in a while. Three weeks ago we were talking, she seemed very friendly. I offered her my number that day. She never called me or texted me. Now when I see her she tries to avoid me, and when I do talk to her she seems very cold and has a wall up. Even when I try to tell her jokes to make her laugh she doesn't even smile. I really don't know what to do at this point. Even if I can't be with her I still would like to have her as a friend. Should I apologize for maybe coming on too strong?
Acin, you can be her friend. Just slowly start saying hi, then maybe say a few words, and so on. Also, let her see you laughing and talking to other girls. When she realizes you are only interested in friendship, she will come around.
Thanks Marie.
*Wish I had watched this 24hrs ago...*
I was honest with the guy who I like. I was positive he felt the same way but obviously not because it ended in an arkward conversation and him telling me he only see me as a friend...
this happened to anyone girl/guy?
Ahhh I'm was trying to do the same thing but I just saw this video, it really hurts when they don't feel the same way like we do
I might think i have made these mistakes
But she still talks to me
Don't just judge urself
If she wants to like you
She will like you
Just be honest and man of ur word
If ya said imma give u my world
Then you die or you live
U have to obey it anyhow
I cringed so bad at how I did it last night oh god never again tho. Thanks for that :) it’s helped so much.
I have done the three Mistakes unfortunately and she ended it up saying I like u so much as a friend, because I cannot lose someone like u, but I told her I cannot do that, but I'm suffering what can I do
God, now that i watch these i noticed that i made the biggest mistakes on my first crush haha
Thanks ! Very helpful tips and pieces of advice..
I like this guy and we don't really talk very much. But all the sudden a few days ago he just started to talk to me and sometimes I see him looking at me during class
This is kind of the situation I am in. I really like this guy and we don't talk very much either. Sometimes though he randomly starts talking to me in class and I get pretty excited that he talks to me and I do catch him looking at me. I'm kind of a shy person. But maybe next time you should start a conversation with him. Before, or after class and you guys can get to know each other more.
I think it's alright complementing people. Like the girl who I like I just say "hey what's up scky how's it going" all you do is just be yourself and btw it's alright if you act all like foolish at first cause I use to and we all used to. But it's good to develop later on
Thank you marie for your reassurance
There is this girl whom I meet in gym and I saw her looking at me, smiling etc. then we started talking and it has been only 2wks and I asked her out for dinner. she refused saying she has a boyfriend and she can't come. I told her that her boyfriend would not mind.....but she refused. what did I do wrong?
You are the best love Guru on RUclips ♥️💘♥️💘♥️💘♥️
If only I had watched this a few years ago! haha
Ah, this was useful. :D I don't have anyone right now, but maybe in the future. ^^
I started texting this guy after a party a couple months ago and we texted nonstop over the whole break and slowly stopped once we got back into school.. we don't sit near each other in the classes we have together and i don't know how to talk to him... i accidentally sent a text to him that i meant to send to my friend and later i texted him
''sorry i meant to send that to my friend'' but he never responded. i really want to talk to him but i'm too shy...
Rachel Dennis I would wait until he approaches you. The ball is in his court now.
My daughters got a crush on a boy she's been friends with for over a year now. Initially he was showing an interest in her but she blew him off because she was talking to someone else (who turned out to be just using her). She then realised she liked this boy, but it was too late. He's been talking to this other girl for a while now yet she only found out today that he likes her! She feels stupid because she's been trying to hint for ages that she's likes him and she gets nervous around him and talks to him a lot and tries to joke around but he doesn't ALWAYS seem interested. She feels stupid and she's angry because she wants to stay friends with this boy even if he does like someone else, yet he's changed his personality to impress this other girl and it's really frustrating for her to see. What advice should I give her? I'm no good at this! Thanks if you respond
Your'e to good! Where does this knowledge come from :O
stop fucking texting. People need to go back to 1989 when people actually spoke to each other.
kk P, I really agree with you.
Texting became a secret code of its own.
Aw. I already told this girl that i like her hair. I even asked her to touch it and she let me. She touched mine back.
I will stop commenting her hair and just get to know her.
your videos are AAAAAmazing!! 😍😍
Nageen, thank you for your kind words!
thanks for the advice, mom.
everything you said about don't say i like you, your beautiful. Well i did that and i was being stupid what do i do she used to tell me everything now she barely talks to me
What if you want to approach him and start talking to him but your friend told him with you knowing?
He was scared to tell bt he confessd a moth later. I decided to approach him asking him what was his problem bcz I noticed his attitude and behavior,, strange enough I did nt kn him , he first appeared in my dreams, 2days later I saw exactly the same person. The rest was history
What to do if a person you like and you told her that you like her .... But after that she started to avoid you by not texting and only text when she needs something from me or my help and now a days she just ignores me no talking no messaging ... So what should I do in this situation ? Help me
I have this friend who I have a crush on but he likes someone else. I just don't understand why I still like him when he is rude to me. He says that he gets pleasure out of people who are mad/sad. He has made me mad/sad and I just can't stop myself from liking him for some strange reason. He knows I like him. He never says he is wrong unless I am not with our friends. He blames everything on me when I am there. He did so many cruel things to me, I keep giving him chances… My other friends don't like him anymore for his cruel actions but one of my friends still stands by with him. He might be joking but I'm not sure anymore what to do.
turquoise, he is uncaring and manipulative. Don't get caught up in his web. Seriously, he will do a number on your self esteem if you let him.
Great advice!
This is really true very effective!
hey...the thing is I told my crush that ....I have a crush on her but the thing is she ended up telling she was not interested in relationship n stuff... n she wants me to be a good friend at first..what does this indicate..!!
what do you do if you accidentally told your crush that you love her too soon?
Michael Carrson It's OK. Just move on and act as if it never happened. The weirdness between you will go away.
It's complicated when she is engaged 😂
She is on point !!
Crap. I had made mistake number two (I think). *sigh* I always end up spilling out my feelings for a girl too early ughh
You have really big beautiful eyes and I love your scarf btw..Oops I just fucked that up
My crush he knows I have a crush on him and I already tell him . I’m crush on him . And he said to me he loves me and I also tell him . But only one day . We don’t have any relationship . And also we want to watch the move as well. Some times he’s sending message he’s love me and some times he’s sending it’s friend out . I’m so confused
what do i do when I like a girl and she knows it and tells me she likes me back, then later I ask her out but she says that she isn't ready for a relationship, but it is really obvious that she really likes me😕
+Ayrick Doebrick Well if she is not committed to be in a relationship it's best to move on and find a girl who is.
Marie I love as a adviser 😉 lol expressed my feelings too soon lmfao
What does it mean when someone is constantly staring at you and smiling at you but doesn't answer your texts? Btw he is a kind of insecure about himself... Please answer, I really need your help
Could you do a video on what to do if you think someone is avoiding you but you arent sure? Or maybe just reply to this comment? I love watching your videos, you have tons of great advice.
YouLovesdino, I will do that this week, good idea. In the mean time, try to take a different route and pass him/her when you normally wouldn't, and see what his reaction is. If it is pleasant surprise, then he is not avoiding you. But if he basically turns and runs in the opposite direction, then yes, he is avoiding you.
OK, thank you for the advice! Looking forward to the video next week.
i wish I watched this last week
I loveee your advice
Great advice in this video :)
Do you really think a guy should wait for a woman to approach him first because that's kind of what you are saying when you say "him or her"@1:20.
You are the most honest women in america ive seen giving dating advice. I wish you were my mom dammit
I make all these mistakes !
Now he gost me ...
Dang I recently learn this just the hard way
I completely deal with that pretty much
oh no i think i complimented him too much how can i fix that
Welp...MsMarie..i f'd up. Where were you a few days ago 🤔😭
Good thing I didn't do all that shit when I talked to my crush