#5 for sure. People keep telling me how pretty and intelligent and loving I am, yet my love and affection are wanted by none 🤔 Starting to think everyone else is lucky in love, except for me. It's lonely 😓
Really? This does not Negate Reall Therapy, This Is A Tutorial Trial. People Say This Because Your Insurance Refuses to cover It Or that any Psychiatric treatment is still treated as taboo to people's social self- image....in some certain circles. Not that It's Terrible advice, I am here for the same issue - (But....... I have real therapy sessions and psychiatrist appointments ) But, this is not a one stop shopping shortcut. You are not getting just one overhaul at this garage, that lasts indefinitely. Dig?
@@danielgreen6302 Ofcourse. It was a figure of speech. In no way shape or form would I ever advocate for these clips to be therapy replacement tools. But for those who simply can’t afford therapy like I couldn’t at some point - it's a great start. And to be honest, Dr. Maika has a way of unpacking complex issues in a clear & succinct manner.
I don't know how this works, but Im watching this and going through it. I wish I could inject us all with confidence. Confidence to get past this terrible feeling. It's been three months for me and this was a terrible relationship on and of for 6+ years. Narcissists I feel can't be fixed. I feel like I can fix anything. I found I can not.
This is so very helpful. I am 2 years into an abrupt and unexpected separation from my wife of 12 years. So much of what you said resonated with me. My sense of self has taken such a hit but I struggle to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. You have a very clear way of covering these ideas and concepts. Thank you for sharing with people in pain
She broke up with me 10 days ago. All you said is logical, I know, I even experienced this already in the past. But this time I really feel it was my fault, even though I have the best of me.
Don’t fight…that validates her ego….walk away and never look back (no matter how hard that is) …. People value what they can’t have not what’s easy to get. Good luck 🤞
I don’t know how to tell you how helpful this was. I haven’t found anything like this before. I wish this was part of a kit handed out to people in the breakup storm.
Thank you, Dr. Steinborn. I’m in college studying neuroscience so I’m taking the scientific approach to healing but It feels like the end of my world at this age. Your explanation of the behavioral side was crazy, I relate to everything you discussed and it has given me renewed hope. It’s time to let her go and accept the new reality.
What would the world be... what would we do with life.... and how would we recover ourselves without people like you, who have such a kind heart and soul to share the truths about life with the world in times of need? You earn my full respect!
Your thoughtful and calm style is very helpful by rebalancing my inner world. Especially in this state of oscillation between hope (or rather hopium) and letting it go and mourn it. Many thanks!
You are beautiful. There's a whole sky in your blue eyes, an infinite wisdom in your voice, and the shadow of a difficult past in your manners. With every word I drink from your lips, you bring a tender, comforting breeze to my heart. Thank you for your work, for being there, and for simply existing. I wish you a good morning, a good day, or whatever when you'll read this. Take care. 🌷
I was broken up with by a wonderful female 20 years my junior three months ago. It was a fairytale beginning, random and unplanned, naturally progressing into a romance neither of us expected. The difference in life stages and my insistence on proving my worth brought about the demise, but I have and continue to learn so much. Your video and words are relevant, helpful and wise - to more people than just me. Truly wonderful. Thank you very much.
Thank you so much for making videos like this one accessible, for sharing your insights in this channel, it really has helped me a lot and I’m so blessed to have found your content
Thank you so much for your videos. You have a soothing voice and you calm down the anxiety with your words. So many videos out there about break ups and me tal health but very few like yours.
Statistically, there are a lot of people who never find love again after a break up or never find love in the first place. If you feel ugly, weird, and/or too scared of people, there is a good chance you are one of those people. Thinking about it enough will make you confinced you will never find someone again and that can potentially lead to very harmful thoughts.
Thank you! My ex was an abuser, and he faked all his feelings and actions. I loved an illusion, and that is painful. I gave so much. And what hurts is, that he just played with me and I let him…. My core belief: I have to work for love, I am not good enough, I am not loveable…
Very strange the timing here. She meant to tell me on the day you posted this but thankfully waited until after - even though the weekend was difficult because of uncertainty - because of an important event that evening.
I've wasted so much time and energy hoping to rebuild things with my ex to no avail. After 7 months of hoping, I'm done, and it feels like a relief! I beat myself up doubly about my part in the breakup because we have a son together, there's the feeling that I've let him down too. But, my relationship with my son has gone to new levels now. We're unbelievably close. To everyone going through a breaukup where you've been dumped, allow yourself time to grieve but most importantly, look after yourself, because your ex isn't bothered I'm afraid. Rebuild your life, become better and it won't matter what they do in the end.
No.1,3 and 5. That's where I am at the minute. Although I can see it as her fault just as much. Although I do feel like there is fundamental issues wrong with me.
its incredibly hard because i still work with him and have a shared social group with him. i dont want to lose my job or my friends, so i cant go completely no-contact despite me knowing that would help me the most. do you have any advice or guidance for sitatuations like this? thank you for the videos! ❤
My now ex husband was telling me we could work on us get counseling etc. However I later found out that he was already living with and women 3mins from our house. I thought he was with his grandparents house during our separation. So I went forth with the divorce and now he is engaged 4 months later 😮woww😮😢... I just can't believe he never loved me or my children how do you stop paying bills block us or take money out out joint accounts before the full abandoned us 3 days before rent was due that was his bill😢.is this truly who he is 😮
i got dumped by a 55 year old divorced single mom of three daughters by a text message. Your a great guy , you treated me very well and i am done with you . such a kind person. lol more like a total coward. which i called her out on .
My loser ex did the same. I didn't let him get away with the disrespect. I confronted him at his job for breaking up over text. He was so embarrassed. I didn't want it to be so easy for him to get rid of me.
The story im stuck on isnt even related to her its about how i loved her and what my love means. I hate when people call obsession infatuation and self sacrificing as only for niave dumb people. If i had a daughter she would be my whole world so clearly this type of love is validated by society in some way. Ive healed from some of those stories but i am mostly stuck on number 3. I love being romantic and infatuated and self sacrificing and for it to be demonized and called insecure and pathetic makes me wanna die because i want to love someone fully without bounds. If i can never be allowed or given permission by God to love like that again then why even live if my love is essentially wrong. I live for that. When i love without bounds i also love myself the same way and i want my love to be validatsd as not "to much". I am very free spirited and desire to express my emotions as they are and if my only answer is to be told to calm down and have a boring marriage like everyone else then i wanna die cause everyone is so boring.
My ex is very flawed individual and was a terrible partner. I knew it within the first 3 months and yet stayed with her 2 1/2 years. What does that say about me?
Hm, it could say lots of different things... to name a few: it could mean you have a tendency to get too invested into healing & change fantasies, even when your experience is the opposite... it could mean you loved her a lot for other reasons/qualities and that made it hard to let go... it could mean you have a concept of relationships that turns them into something that needs to be endured or soldiered through....
@@DrMaikaSteinborn yes I do love her for other reasons. And I would probably take her back if she reached out. I’ve never been this way. Usually I have a lot more self respect and would never let anyone treat me this way.
After 8 years in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend, she left me for another guy , I have so much hate for her , I probably wish her all the above. She is dead fish
#5 for sure. People keep telling me how pretty and intelligent and loving I am, yet my love and affection are wanted by none 🤔 Starting to think everyone else is lucky in love, except for me. It's lonely 😓
You just saved me countless hours of therapy in just 12 minutes. Such clarifying & honest messaging. Thank you.
My therapist just tells me to ‘get my head out of my ass’ I prefer this smart lady’s style 😅
Really? This does not Negate Reall Therapy, This Is A Tutorial Trial. People Say This Because Your Insurance Refuses to cover It Or that any Psychiatric treatment is still treated as taboo to people's social self- image....in some certain circles. Not that It's Terrible advice, I am here for the same issue - (But....... I have real therapy sessions and psychiatrist appointments ) But, this is not a one stop shopping shortcut. You are not getting just one overhaul at this garage, that lasts indefinitely. Dig?
@@danielgreen6302 Ofcourse. It was a figure of speech. In no way shape or form would I ever advocate for these clips to be therapy replacement tools. But for those who simply can’t afford therapy like I couldn’t at some point - it's a great start. And to be honest, Dr. Maika has a way of unpacking complex issues in a clear & succinct manner.
I don't know how this works, but Im watching this and going through it. I wish I could inject us all with confidence. Confidence to get past this terrible feeling. It's been three months for me and this was a terrible relationship on and of for 6+ years. Narcissists I feel can't be fixed. I feel like I can fix anything. I found I can not.
This is so very helpful. I am 2 years into an abrupt and unexpected separation from my wife of 12 years. So much of what you said resonated with me. My sense of self has taken such a hit but I struggle to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. You have a very clear way of covering these ideas and concepts. Thank you for sharing with people in pain
Same here, 2 and a half years out from seperation. 1 year after divorce. Feel such low self esteem.
I have watched this every day for two weeks, it is very good. Thank you.
I am still watching this every day and it is an enormous help, thanks. It makes sense of the chaos that was created.
Your voice is 10/10. Especially given the subjects you talk about. Very calming.
Just wanted you to know that 😌
Thank you ☺️ 🙏🏻
7 months in and honestly tired of breakup content but this is wonderful Dr. Steinborn. Thanks.
She broke up with me 10 days ago. All you said is logical, I know, I even experienced this already in the past. But this time I really feel it was my fault, even though I have the best of me.
I’m so f’d up about my ex that when the doc says, “your ex is PROBABLY not a superhero” I’m over here like, “but probably not is not for sure not.”
Maika will be at 500k subscribers within a year, she is awesome.
She didn’t just choose to leave and discard, she fought as hard as she could to eliminate me from her life. Fought tooth and nail as I fought for us.
She wasn't capable of love. You were a scapegoat to a narcissist
He wants to do another one right away
Don’t fight…that validates her ego….walk away and never look back (no matter how hard that is) …. People value what they can’t have not what’s easy to get. Good luck 🤞
I know this all too well 😢
I don’t know how to tell you how helpful this was. I haven’t found anything like this before. I wish this was part of a kit handed out to people in the breakup storm.
Thank you!
Thank you, Dr. Steinborn. I’m in college studying neuroscience so I’m taking the scientific approach to healing but It feels like the end of my world at this age. Your explanation of the behavioral side was crazy, I relate to everything you discussed and it has given me renewed hope. It’s time to let her go and accept the new reality.
What would the world be... what would we do with life.... and how would we recover ourselves without people like you, who have such a kind heart and soul to share the truths about life with the world in times of need? You earn my full respect!
🙏💖
This was freakin awesome thank you 🙏
Your thoughtful and calm style is very helpful by rebalancing my inner world.
Especially in this state of oscillation between hope (or rather hopium) and letting it go and mourn it.
Many thanks!
You are beautiful. There's a whole sky in your blue eyes, an infinite wisdom in your voice, and the shadow of a difficult past in your manners. With every word I drink from your lips, you bring a tender, comforting breeze to my heart. Thank you for your work, for being there, and for simply existing. I wish you a good morning, a good day, or whatever when you'll read this. Take care. 🌷
Thank you you helping me a lot.
I was broken up with by a wonderful female 20 years my junior three months ago. It was a fairytale beginning, random and unplanned, naturally progressing into a romance neither of us expected.
The difference in life stages and my insistence on proving my worth brought about the demise, but I have and continue to learn so much.
Your video and words are relevant, helpful and wise - to more people than just me.
Truly wonderful. Thank you very much.
Thank you so much for making videos like this one accessible, for sharing your insights in this channel, it really has helped me a lot and I’m so blessed to have found your content
Brilliant videos.. Your calm voice delivers clear important messages for so many people trying to find answers at difficult times...❤
Thank you for your videos
I’ve had all five thoughts…and still have some of those thoughts…great advice
Wow , amazing clarity and empowerment here. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for your videos. You have a soothing voice and you calm down the anxiety with your words. So many videos out there about break ups and me tal health but very few like yours.
Statistically, there are a lot of people who never find love again after a break up or never find love in the first place. If you feel ugly, weird, and/or too scared of people, there is a good chance you are one of those people. Thinking about it enough will make you confinced you will never find someone again and that can potentially lead to very harmful thoughts.
is this true? i think statistically people do find love again
@@noah1502 it 's true
Thank you! My ex was an abuser, and he faked all his feelings and actions. I loved an illusion, and that is painful. I gave so much. And what hurts is, that he just played with me and I let him….
My core belief: I have to work for love, I am not good enough, I am not loveable…
same but with my ex gf x(
You are extremely lovable, kind and a joy to be around.
That’s how I feel with my ex. He discarded no reason given and ghosted. Stupidly this is the second try. What a fool I’ve been.
Very strange the timing here. She meant to tell me on the day you posted this but thankfully waited until after - even though the weekend was difficult because of uncertainty - because of an important event that evening.
Relationship break up is very painful, especially when you fell misunderstood or things remain unfinished.
I've wasted so much time and energy hoping to rebuild things with my ex to no avail. After 7 months of hoping, I'm done, and it feels like a relief! I beat myself up doubly about my part in the breakup because we have a son together, there's the feeling that I've let him down too. But, my relationship with my son has gone to new levels now. We're unbelievably close.
To everyone going through a breaukup where you've been dumped, allow yourself time to grieve but most importantly, look after yourself, because your ex isn't bothered I'm afraid. Rebuild your life, become better and it won't matter what they do in the end.
This is helpful to me.
Needed this - Thanks
No.1,3 and 5. That's where I am at the minute. Although I can see it as her fault just as much. Although I do feel like there is fundamental issues wrong with me.
Love your videos, thank you !
its incredibly hard because i still work with him and have a shared social group with him. i dont want to lose my job or my friends, so i cant go completely no-contact despite me knowing that would help me the most. do you have any advice or guidance for sitatuations like this? thank you for the videos! ❤
It can definitely be challenging when you can't go no contact. I'll be posting a video about this in a few months!
Thank you.🙏
My now ex husband was telling me we could work on us get counseling etc. However I later found out that he was already living with and women 3mins from our house. I thought he was with his grandparents house during our separation. So I went forth with the divorce and now he is engaged 4 months later 😮woww😮😢...
I just can't believe he never loved me or my children how do you stop paying bills block us or take money out out joint accounts before the full abandoned us 3 days before rent was due that was his bill😢.is this truly who he is 😮
i got dumped by a 55 year old divorced single mom of three daughters by a text message. Your a great guy , you treated me very well and i am done with you . such a kind person. lol more like a total coward. which i called her out on .
My loser ex did the same. I didn't let him get away with the disrespect. I confronted him at his job for breaking up over text. He was so embarrassed. I didn't want it to be so easy for him to get rid of me.
@@taghazoutmoon5031 good for you . I send a email to her and called her a coward .
yeah what is up with the text break ups man. People are cowards
I didn't even get a text. I was ghosted.
Especially if they leave you for their wife or husband that you knew nothing about. It is a double feeling of rejection.
Solution to problem.Stay single.Be like me .Have a good car.
Do you offer therapy online, over the phone ir in person?
Yes, I do 👍🏻 You can contact me at www.maikasteinborn.com or info[at]maikasteinborn.com 🙋♀️
@@DrMaikaSteinborn thank you
I would love a video on the one initiating the breakup. Why do they months later come back
I'll keep this request in mind!
Because they want validation. My ex came back and did the same things and discarded the same way.
Thank you 🫶
For me its 6)
She sleeps with her ex boss just after a few week after the break up. He is 30 years older than she is.
Universal timing 🌠
Thank you
The story im stuck on isnt even related to her its about how i loved her and what my love means. I hate when people call obsession infatuation and self sacrificing as only for niave dumb people. If i had a daughter she would be my whole world so clearly this type of love is validated by society in some way. Ive healed from some of those stories but i am mostly stuck on number 3. I love being romantic and infatuated and self sacrificing and for it to be demonized and called insecure and pathetic makes me wanna die because i want to love someone fully without bounds. If i can never be allowed or given permission by God to love like that again then why even live if my love is essentially wrong. I live for that. When i love without bounds i also love myself the same way and i want my love to be validatsd as not "to much". I am very free spirited and desire to express my emotions as they are and if my only answer is to be told to calm down and have a boring marriage like everyone else then i wanna die cause everyone is so boring.
My ex is very flawed individual and was a terrible partner. I knew it within the first 3 months and yet stayed with her 2 1/2 years. What does that say about me?
Hm, it could say lots of different things... to name a few: it could mean you have a tendency to get too invested into healing & change fantasies, even when your experience is the opposite... it could mean you loved her a lot for other reasons/qualities and that made it hard to let go... it could mean you have a concept of relationships that turns them into something that needs to be endured or soldiered through....
@@DrMaikaSteinborn yes I do love her for other reasons. And I would probably take her back if she reached out. I’ve never been this way. Usually I have a lot more self respect and would never let anyone treat me this way.
After 8 years in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend, she left me for another guy , I have so much hate for her , I probably wish her all the above. She is dead fish
😢
Does this advice count for men or nah? Seems to me like most therapy advice is for women.
Yes, this counts for men, too! 💯
all my entire life has been this,im
a nihilist mtsantrope now,i dont like this place i never asked to b here
Thank you 🙏 ❤