I listened through this several times as well as the other videos. You have an awareness of this topic that very few have. I wish more had. I am reading the book Broken Trust. I wish more pastors and church people actually knew what you do. Unfortunately what actually happens in churches is those in positions of power act all caring then if someone is hurting they let their guard down because they so desperately want to trust someone....but as soon as someone shares vulnerable information then those in power know how to control and hurt you. They now take your story making them even more powerful. Then they abandon, tell you to GET OVER IT, tell you you are not surrendering, not trusting God right, tell you God planned everything that happened for His glory, tell you you are sinning in response to being sinned against. Once someone in power knows your story you can't take it back. They don't care about a person's healing or faith. These people are untouchable in churches because they collect this information on people and if you then try to bring up an issue in the church they can shut you down and control the situation to always protect themselves because they can manipulate you with knowing your story. Even seemingly caring people will give so much time until they heard what they wanted to hear...then just walk away. I guess they feel good about themselves for being a good listener. It is devastating and so hurtful to open up your story - everyone just walks away. I'm not giving pieces of myself away anymore. It was more traumatic to share than to have held it inside for years. No wonder people don't want to talk. It was far far worse to talk. I regret sharing especially with those in the church. Most people just pretend to care out of their own curiosity and only when convenient. I'm not going to inconvenience anyone anymore or give them opportunity to have power and control. God hears me and that is enough. I was very wrong for thinking I needed anyone else's help. Suffering alone is far better than suffering at the hands of others in addition. Going to my former church was the stupidest thing to do. Strangers have had more compassion.
I'm sorry that your story wasn't kept in confidence or respected. Most pastors aren't trained in counselor or understand the ethics of it. I hope you can find a trained counselor who can help you. I'm happy to hear that my videos and book have helped you.
@@FRemyD There were multiple people but the majority of the hurt came from one person with a master's degree in biblical counseling. Several people convinced me that the person was qualified and could help me. Training, degrees and titles can't make a person compassionate or necessarily biblical. All the training made the person very good at knowing all the right things to do and say to wield his power and position. Online or through books on my own is the only counsel I will seek. And yes, your book is helpful. I've read other books but none have convinced me as much that the author knows the subject. Thank you for writing the book and for your videos. They can help someone like me who isn't ready to trust anyone in person.
This is SO helpful!! So many people in leadership need to hear these recommendations. Thank you for your work.
You are welcome. I'm glad you find it helpful. Please share it.
Amen! Good teaching!
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know.
I listened through this several times as well as the other videos. You have an awareness of this topic that very few have. I wish more had. I am reading the book Broken Trust. I wish more pastors and church people actually knew what you do.
Unfortunately what actually happens in churches is those in positions of power act all caring then if someone is hurting they let their guard down because they so desperately want to trust someone....but as soon as someone shares vulnerable information then those in power know how to control and hurt you. They now take your story making them even more powerful. Then they abandon, tell you to GET OVER IT, tell you you are not surrendering, not trusting God right, tell you God planned everything that happened for His glory, tell you you are sinning in response to being sinned against. Once someone in power knows your story you can't take it back. They don't care about a person's healing or faith. These people are untouchable in churches because they collect this information on people and if you then try to bring up an issue in the church they can shut you down and control the situation to always protect themselves because they can manipulate you with knowing your story. Even seemingly caring people will give so much time until they heard what they wanted to hear...then just walk away. I guess they feel good about themselves for being a good listener. It is devastating and so hurtful to open up your story - everyone just walks away. I'm not giving pieces of myself away anymore. It was more traumatic to share than to have held it inside for years. No wonder people don't want to talk. It was far far worse to talk. I regret sharing especially with those in the church. Most people just pretend to care out of their own curiosity and only when convenient. I'm not going to inconvenience anyone anymore or give them opportunity to have power and control. God hears me and that is enough. I was very wrong for thinking I needed anyone else's help. Suffering alone is far better than suffering at the hands of others in addition. Going to my former church was the stupidest thing to do. Strangers have had more compassion.
I'm sorry that your story wasn't kept in confidence or respected. Most pastors aren't trained in counselor or understand the ethics of it. I hope you can find a trained counselor who can help you. I'm happy to hear that my videos and book have helped you.
@@FRemyD There were multiple people but the majority of the hurt came from one person with a master's degree in biblical counseling. Several people convinced me that the person was qualified and could help me. Training, degrees and titles can't make a person compassionate or necessarily biblical. All the training made the person very good at knowing all the right things to do and say to wield his power and position. Online or through books on my own is the only counsel I will seek. And yes, your book is helpful. I've read other books but none have convinced me as much that the author knows the subject. Thank you for writing the book and for your videos. They can help someone like me who isn't ready to trust anyone in person.