A Narcissist's Rights, According To The Narcissist

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  • Опубликовано: 1 дек 2024

Комментарии • 119

  • @EasyRussianLessons
    @EasyRussianLessons 7 часов назад +44

    Honestly, if possible, go no contact. I didn't practice it before (regret I didn't) but it's THE BEST way to get over the hurt, get healed and allow things to get sorted out.

  • @yly5991
    @yly5991 6 часов назад +30

    Definitely! Narcissists and narcissistic people feel they are being disrespected, insulted & slighted by you when you won't let them abuse you and get their way in your life. It's so abnormal and weird how they view things! My covert malignant narc parent is like this.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +11

      Toddler mentality as well as emotional maturity

    • @teresadvorak6145
      @teresadvorak6145 2 часа назад +4

      They also take your acheivments & success as personal insults. Be careful, stop your light from shining too brightly for the narcs comfort

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito День назад +47

    For example, they believe they are entitled to break the law, promise, or fidelity, cut in the line, tell a lie, be forgiven for abuse, etc. 😮

  • @roxymovie3938
    @roxymovie3938 День назад +70

    There's only one single law for the totalitarian mindset of a Narc: being right all the time and in everything. Period.

    • @dewuknowofHyMn
      @dewuknowofHyMn 6 часов назад +1

      Good word for a narc.... "totalitarianism"....they want TOTAL CONTROL NO MATTER WHAT !!!....🤮🤮👹👹😈😈🤢🤢

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +1

      God

    • @catfour34
      @catfour34 5 часов назад +4

      I'm right and you're wrong , no matter what, said the Narc.

    • @roxymovie3938
      @roxymovie3938 4 часа назад +1

      @@caroleminke6116 I think, there is a big difference between God and a Narc: God is Love while a Narc is not caring at all, just a punisher.

    • @roxymovie3938
      @roxymovie3938 4 часа назад +1

      @@catfour34 Yep 👍

  • @nyarparablepsis872
    @nyarparablepsis872 20 часов назад +34

    All the rights, and only for them!

  • @fred.k9875
    @fred.k9875 День назад +40

    We have the right to remain silent, anything we say will be used against us in the narcissist court of self serving self righteousness.

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  День назад +11

      Well put, Fred!

    • @Teacher369
      @Teacher369 10 часов назад +11

      I could hear the Dragnet theme playing while reading your text.

    • @mariegumpel4955
      @mariegumpel4955 6 часов назад +4

      Even if you grey rock them. Give them very little information.. They will make something up if they have to..and you will never know about it. Until after the fact.. because it will be done without your knowledge or consent ..

    • @cherobinson6371
      @cherobinson6371 5 часов назад +3

      Silent confidence is the ultimate revenge towards them. Absolutely give them nothing but a Oh Really??? Look. They go Absolute Meltdown Mode when you do that. Tantrum.

    • @LiveforHim73
      @LiveforHim73 4 часа назад +2

      It’s there right to purposely trigger, bait, judge, abuse, talk down, incriminate, trash others opinions, trash facts, trash your faith in God, trash your politics views with mean derogatory words. Hateful and self righteous, and attitude of Superior to others. They envision a crowd at their feet praising them making themselves center of attention!
      Our family narcissist has even more expressed he should have been a religious celebrity…. Grandiose thinking!
      He’s so self absorbed he sabotaged himself.
      The crowd never formed for him, they left!
      To be unloving, judgmental, self righteous, who will you win with this attitude and behavior?
      Yes I’ve gotten angry,,
      The best thing to do is walk away, no words, give it & them to God!
      It’s pretty clear message when “they” want to silence others rights! I can tolerate that right to say but I can’t be a friend to hate! They will certainly stab you in the back. Lived in disfunction and toxic! I ran!
      Don’t look back or you will turn into A pillar of salt! God warns us in so many ways in Scripture. Be humble and know God is your ultimate father and friend. Abide in His Love, His Grace, His Mercy and His forgiveness! It’s most Real you will ever know and experience.
      Keep walking the walk, the goal is near!

  • @williamdillard8330
    @williamdillard8330 7 часов назад +18

    Exactly!
    What frustrated me with a couple narcissists who I know is that they often are in a place of seemingly normalcy, and because of that, it appears that it is possible and even likely to be able to reason with them. No and no! These relationships don't work because they won't listen to you.

    • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
      @PantaRhei-wz5zn 6 часов назад +9

      🎯 Highly underestimated insight.
      i am thinking of such a few : calm mannered, no raising voices, no obvious boasting... yet def some narcissistic traits: entitled in their wants, willing to exploit others to get it & lack of empathy for the consequences of their actions to others. Having a conversation with them about issues (calm, factual) never managed to pan out. They just repeat their statements.
      Only dawned on me way too late that this wasnt a reasonable person once i got sick, and out of necessity became much more stringent on protecting my boundaries. To do so, i also started to repeat my own statements whenever they ignored me in conversation. Result: We were 2 broken records, each repeating our own statements back + forwards. (A bit like 2 parrots.)
      These relations will never work, as they cannot understand they cannot endlessly bulldozer over all our boundaries. When i started to employ the same tactics (= always repeating own statements, not responding to their statements) their normally so calm manner crumbled, and they were the one displaying obvious frustration... I just was thinking: Yeah, at least now you understand a little how it did feel for me the last years... They didnt connect the dots though - in their eyes i just became "difficult & distant". Wonder how that change came to be.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +6

      Coverts are worse

    • @jeankipper6954
      @jeankipper6954 5 часов назад +3

      Sneakier anyway.

  • @Hatbox948
    @Hatbox948 4 часа назад +13

    You can reiterate something to them setting a boundary, but they'll always override it and replace your words with what they want. Going through that repeatedly is exhausting and never gets you anywhere. Until you see the light you could waste a lot of time and energy doing mental gymnastics with a narcissist.

  • @aaronkwolfe
    @aaronkwolfe День назад +30

    Right to trial, as long as they get to be judge and jury.
    Right to discern motives in others.
    Right to be right. Always.
    Et cetera.

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  День назад +10

      Hope. this new video resonates with you, Aaron!

    • @aaronkwolfe
      @aaronkwolfe День назад +11

      @@SurvivingNarcissism They all do, Dr. C. Thank you.

    • @aaronkwolfe
      @aaronkwolfe 9 часов назад +9

      Rights are granted (according to the U.S. Constitution, at least) by the Almighty. This is exactly whom they consider themselves to be.

  • @meow2u22
    @meow2u22 6 часов назад +14

    A narcissist says "I have my rights." What they don't say is "You have no rights."

  • @wakeupordie
    @wakeupordie 6 часов назад +13

    "I really need to be the one who has the final word, because I'm saving you from your sorry self"......Accurate

  • @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver
    @DelphineTheWorstBladeEver 6 часов назад +8

    He keeps trying to tell me that we need to stay friends, that he wants to see me, that he doesn't think I should be so "hateful." But he doesn't even know me now, and he never did. He just wants me to let my guard down. This is him.

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 4 часа назад +1

      He wants to keep you as back up. Don't let him.

  • @jeankipper6954
    @jeankipper6954 5 часов назад +7

    I must add, my narcs now are thankfully gone. And due to a great deal of work and healing and learning and instruction, definitely including Dr. D's excellent work, I'm ok now. Not a sucker, any more. SO grateful.
    Curiously, I no longer "attract" narcs. I usually see straight through them. They pick up on that, and leave. Ok by me.

  • @dj8422
    @dj8422 5 часов назад +7

    All these rights, what they have other shouldn't have in their mind...You can't say no to them, because they'll punish you, you can't punish them, because they'll pull the victim card out, you don't have privacy, the narcissist will either stalk on you or send flying monkeys to get to know your plans. Ridiculous people, the best is to leave them and never look back.

  • @lesliewoolnough7871
    @lesliewoolnough7871 5 часов назад +8

    The narcissist is so much in your buisness that you can’t make friends or have a relationship because the Narcissist is going to be involved and have their input especially when you don’t want it.

  • @BaraSchmidt
    @BaraSchmidt 7 часов назад +11

    Believe me, when it comes to rights in ANY relationship with an individual who has a narcissistic personality style, there will be NO "Equal." THEY are like inept Accountants - no matter how THEY add it up, it will NEVER balance! You know what I FIGURE? It's GREAT to be Healthy! Stay Healthy!!

    • @katehampstead6024
      @katehampstead6024 4 часа назад +2

      Unscrupulous accountants. They have no intention of adding it up so that it balances.

    • @BaraSchmidt
      @BaraSchmidt 4 часа назад +1

      @katehampstead6024 💯 🎯 When one is morally bankrupt they seek replenishment from anyone and anywhere they can!!

  • @cheezitsw3279
    @cheezitsw3279 6 часов назад +11

    I'm certain that my ex felt he had the right to sleep with other women. He explained to me that if he ever wanted to go away on a trip with someone, I had no say in it. I don't think he realized that I had the right to dump his lying cheating ass.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +2

      Surprised every time

    • @MarianneCatherine
      @MarianneCatherine 5 часов назад

      Good for you!!! 😊

    • @seameology
      @seameology 5 часов назад +1

      Sure he has that right. He also has to accept the consequences of that action, too!

  • @oceannomad4236
    @oceannomad4236 6 часов назад +6

    You know you have problems when you hear this:
    "I'm entitled to have you give me a better life than I had when I was single"
    "It's your fault my life hasn't turned out the way it should have"

  • @Patricia-s8r2z
    @Patricia-s8r2z 6 часов назад +10

    These are the reasons that you can't actually communicate with a narc . The only right we have is the extreme joy of being in their presence ! 😳😳

    • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
      @PantaRhei-wz5zn 6 часов назад +2

      😅 Yes, that is really how they feel, is it not ?

    • @LiveforHim73
      @LiveforHim73 4 часа назад

      Learned that the hard way! Don’t even try.
      Go about your business and let them lay in their own messy words.
      Practice D- dignity R-respect C-civility
      Refuse to be A-
      Abused by not taking it on. They want you too. Refuse to be anyone’s victim. They want you to be because they live the Victimhood with a big V on their forehead!! Be their friend and you will be the next victim!
      There is no possible friend in them. It’s called USER Up friendship. When you feel used up you are and you let it happen. Experience is the greatest teacher but not fun. Fun comes when you get rid of toxic Narcissist folks.
      “The burden” , “ narc “ is gone!

  • @Summer_Harvest
    @Summer_Harvest 11 часов назад +16

    They have the right to your consideration and you don't get those same rights. It's as if you aren't even there. They don't have to hear you, see you, or care. The only rights that are given are by them.

  • @judyhogarth80
    @judyhogarth80 7 часов назад +6

    This is again a great topic. My neighbours son is a narcissist. I have known him form20 years and he has always been challenging. Now his mum is in carehome, I have given quite a bit,of support re her house and workmen. Despite helping the son, he feels he can be very nasty to me and sends terrible emails, bullying me. But he feels despite this behaviour he has the right to special treatment. Go figure. I am now detaching. Thanks doc

  • @homefryniles3983
    @homefryniles3983 7 часов назад +10

    Other things they say..."I have to be authentic", and "I have a 150 IQ".

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  6 часов назад +8

      That sets off my BS monitor when I hear that.

    • @homefryniles3983
      @homefryniles3983 Час назад +1

      @@SurvivingNarcissism I bet. Thank you, Dr. C, for chiming in. I tell you, but you know, some of these statements, said with such unilateral, self approval, are so stunningly self centered, many a time I am literally left speechless. And I suppose that's precisely the way the narcissist wants me to be!

  • @PantaRhei-wz5zn
    @PantaRhei-wz5zn День назад +18

    They believe they deserve to do whatever they want, whenever & however they want to. You cannot say anything against it, even if it hurts you or other people. And if it turns out bad.... they shouldnt be held accountable or responsable for any of it. They should simply be absolved on the spot, the slate wiped clean & everything should return to the "before"- state automatically. You should pretend the debris does not exist. (Very hard to do when you are standing in the middle of the resulting rubble) If you do not agree to this, then somehow, they are the worlds largest Victim ...

    • @wadesnyder6871
      @wadesnyder6871 2 часа назад +1

      absolutely correct. i have lived this recently!

  • @duromusabc
    @duromusabc 7 часов назад +15

    Toxic narcissistic HYPOCRISY

  • @jeankipper6954
    @jeankipper6954 5 часов назад +7

    Mine actually said that he was OWED, whatever he wanted. That society OWED him him an income, which he wrangled into SSI. OWED what he shoplifted. That I OWED him whatever he was trying to get me to do or be.
    With no thought about earning anything. Somehow owed, not earned. Just like mom.
    And oh the indignation when it wasn't forked over.

    • @Victoria-c4n
      @Victoria-c4n 19 минут назад

      The NEX said - sex is your duty! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Ya right, I’ll add that to the list. I work, you don’t. I clean, you don’t. I cook, you don’t. I don’t complain, YOU DO!

  • @laurel7309
    @laurel7309 29 минут назад +1

    This perfectly describes the attitudes of my brother and sister in law. In their minds, they have the right to be as hypocritical as they want, to be manipulative, to lie, and to gaslight. When I called my brother out for those behaviors, he told me that me doing that was unacceptable. 😂 I can laugh about it now because I've had lots of therapy, and I've cut contact.

  • @indigosky912
    @indigosky912 6 часов назад +7

    I watch my step child display these traits everyday…the overblown self importance, silent treatments and if you redirect or ask her to do ANYTHING, such as lifting a finger to contribute to the household by even cleaning up after herself….it’ll be hell to pay!!! I’ve actually come to enjoy her passive-aggressive silent treatments. The house is very peaceful 😂

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +2

      Remember the judicious use of consequences 😉 it’s a way to enforce a boundary & it’s something that everyone understands

    • @MarianneCatherine
      @MarianneCatherine 5 часов назад +2

      I feel the same way about my husband. Sometimes, his silent treatments will go on for 2 or 3 days. It's heavenly!!! 😂😊😅

    • @jeankipper6954
      @jeankipper6954 5 часов назад +2

      Loved it when mom gave The Silent Treatment. Wow was she mad, when she finally figured that out.

    • @marenernst1841
      @marenernst1841 5 часов назад

      You say she is your step child. Children are developing. Children have no agency. I think a child does not deserve to be treated, spoken about, or in this case, written about, as though they are a narcissistic. Narcissism is a personality disorder of adults whose development into mature adults who practice empathy & compassion has been stunted. Parents & step parents have a lot more power than children. Plz allow your stepchild some grace so that she can grow into the sort of adult whose foibles aren't discussed on social media! Thank you.

    • @indigosky912
      @indigosky912 4 часа назад +1

      @@marenernst1841 Sorry you feel this way, you live your life with your beliefs as you wish. I’ve raised 3 of my own children prior to living in a home with this one and unfortunately, it’s a result of the parent’s behaviors.

  • @1969kellyp
    @1969kellyp 5 часов назад +5

    That explains my husband very well.

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 6 часов назад +8

    To err is human, to forgive Divine & to punish is just narcissistic

  • @markjayw666
    @markjayw666 7 часов назад +8

    OMG so accurate!!

  • @MaryKatharine-mk1
    @MaryKatharine-mk1 7 часов назад +6

    100% accurate description and explanation combined with the wisdom of the importance of safety at all times! Excellent teaching! Thank you! 🌟

  • @lynbarker3828
    @lynbarker3828 4 часа назад +4

    Beautiful doc. Thanks again & again

  • @Arrtists
    @Arrtists 6 часов назад +6

    Excellent Dr C, thank you. So helpful right now

  • @amandaliverpool3374
    @amandaliverpool3374 7 часов назад +9

    They have ALL the rights. We have none 😢

    • @Patricia-s8r2z
      @Patricia-s8r2z 6 часов назад +1

      Twisted freaks .

    • @roxymovie3938
      @roxymovie3938 4 часа назад +1

      @@amandaliverpool3374 Exactly 👍
      Amanda, I tried to answer you so many times on the other chat, but you know the desaster by yourself 🥴
      I'll do another try here. If it does not work, you at least know...

    • @roxymovie3938
      @roxymovie3938 4 часа назад +1

      @@amandaliverpool3374 It's quite normal that other things get into the background when your child is creating chaos at home because your focus is somewhere else.
      The good thing is, when your child has moved out, you get another new space, not only emotionally/mentally but in a 3-dimension-room. But first you have to get out the "old stuff" step by step.
      I myself am more like a minimalist. I like to decorate cozy places (like my kitchen which is also my 'little garden') but other rooms I need to have with fewer things. And with clothing I do like this: when I get a new thing, I give away an old thing. And with books the same: when I read a book, I will give the book to someone else. The motivation is not to get stuck with too many things, to keep a dynamic, where others can also benefit from.
      Wishing you lots of strength and motivation to sort things out. And happy new week! 😇💕🫂

    • @amandaliverpool3374
      @amandaliverpool3374 2 часа назад +1

      @roxymovie3938 of course. No worries I know what it's like 🙄

    • @amandaliverpool3374
      @amandaliverpool3374 Час назад +1

      @roxymovie3938 Hi Roxy. Thanks for your kind words 🙏 I'm usually quite well organised but had a bad flare up of my M.E. in the summer along with all the other chaos. I'm more back to a routine with things now. I'm thankful to all my friends whether on here or face-to-face pals 🙏 🕯🥰🫂

  • @CatLady79
    @CatLady79 4 часа назад +4

    They have their rights and also believe that they are exempt from any negative consequences.

  • @surferdude4487
    @surferdude4487 59 минут назад +2

    "Your rights end where my nose begins." Abraham Lincoln

  • @RayAtkins-wk9zv
    @RayAtkins-wk9zv 5 часов назад +5

    I was raised with the old sane youer freedom ends at the tip of my nose

  • @andreacook6000
    @andreacook6000 3 часа назад +1

    That was jam packed with incredible insight. Will be listening to this again today. Because of the effects of this on my life and relationship, it feel so sad that this is the case and there is no fixing it. Every day I experience the ramifications of this mind set and there is no getting through to the person. Learning to be closer to myself and accepting I am OK as I am, noticing the patterns when they occur that have built up over a life time, that takes time to undo and heal. That’s the journey. The ego thought system is automatic in this world and we are each in our own way trying to break it and learn to love ourselves and not feel shamed, and to not shame or judge others in ways we have been shamed and judged. That is what the last judgment is really all about, the last time we judge ourselves or others as they are not. Healing is the only reason and purpose for why we are here. Most people are afraid they are not good enough in some way. It is deep. We need to learn to love ourselves and be our own best friends and to send that out into the world as a way of saying you are ok as you are as well.

  • @andreacook6000
    @andreacook6000 51 минуту назад +1

    So good to listen to this again. They really do think in terms of being completely separate from the other person. They don’t understand conscientiousness or what is appropriate to a situation or relationship. But of course there is a double standard which is part of their narcissism as well, they understand we are supposed to do all of these things, just not them. It’s outrageous and flabbergasting. It’s all very convenient…for them.

  • @sherricoffman
    @sherricoffman 6 часов назад +6

    GoodMorning Les !!! ❤ 🕊 ⚜ ♦️🕯ThankYou4Sharing ! MuchLove N GodBless You!

  • @codyshepp7432
    @codyshepp7432 7 часов назад +8

    Serpent
    Greek strongs 3789 Serpent (through the idea of sharpness of vision); a snake, figuratively, (as a type of sly cunning) an artful malicious person, especially Satan -- serpent. malicious-characterized by malice; intending or intended to do harm. The serpent is a person or persons.

  • @butterflycomb
    @butterflycomb Час назад +1

    The narcissist only talk when it wants to insult, belittle or give commands.

  • @Bianca-sw5id
    @Bianca-sw5id 4 часа назад +4

    They have their recipe for abuse and it's what they feel entitled to exercise

  • @MarleyLeMar
    @MarleyLeMar Час назад +1

    How would a therapist handle this double standard in couple's counseling, with a narcissist and with a generally unreasonable person?

  • @darinsmith2458
    @darinsmith2458 2 часа назад +2

    This brings up a lot of painful stuff.. When I look back and reflect how unfair it was for me.. Why was it right for them to have all this stuff and be able to do all this stuff and make $$$ and it wasn't right for me?

  • @SandraII-in9sl
    @SandraII-in9sl 4 часа назад +3

    They're going to get their "special treatment". Hope they like to be surpriced.

  • @samankalantari9802
    @samankalantari9802 3 часа назад +2

    If you have a covert narcissist partner, you can decide to escape the relationship. But what about someone like me, who has to work with a covert narcissist coworker every day? I have to interact with her because of my job, and it's exhausting.

    • @treesab2823
      @treesab2823 2 часа назад +2

      I have to do the same thing. It took a while to figure out I had to learn how to deal with it or get a different job. I am dealing with it through therapy and going gray rock, lots of these videos. Fortunately I am in an equal position with the narc and cannot be fired. That helps a lot!

    • @samankalantari9802
      @samankalantari9802 Час назад

      @@treesab2823 I'm in an equal position with that person too but the problem has gotten worse since I received a small promotion last year.

  • @suelindsey2295
    @suelindsey2295 3 часа назад +3

    Dr C do I have the right to remain quiet with my narcissistic husband because he wants confirmation after every statement

  • @magdalenanowakowska5263
    @magdalenanowakowska5263 31 минуту назад +1

    do they even understand concept of "we", working as a team, winning as a team?

  • @aaronkwolfe
    @aaronkwolfe 7 часов назад +3

    Late chat: No photos to Discord or FB chatgroup. I promise.

  • @AAron-gr3jk
    @AAron-gr3jk 5 часов назад +5

    Narcissism sounds like Wokism.. they're all the same behaviour

  • @RawandBarghoth
    @RawandBarghoth 4 часа назад +5

    Thank you very much sir for this enlightening video, I've never felt comfortable like I do now after I watched videos for honest, honorable people like you on RUclips. Finally, I know scientifically what’s going on around me 🤍🌸🌺🌸