Hookup Horror Stories
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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** Openly single Chris Klemens candidly reveals his relationship history, discusses dating apps, dishes out dating advice, laments about being single, shares secrets about hookups, and gives verdicts on cheating, virginity and finding that special person.
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My name is Chris Klemens, I live in Los Angeles (before in New York City), and make RUclips videos. They consist of man on the street comedy videos interviewing strangers, chaotic hair dyeing, reacting to/following 5 minute crafts and other viral videos, and daily comedy vlogs with people like Claudia Sulewski, Chrissy Teigen, Carly Incontro, Erin Gilfoy, Andrew Lowe, and more. Be sure to subscribe for more, and follow me on my social media like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Snapchat, and more.
poor jake, everything he says chris immediately shuts down. i feel so bad i feel like he’s trying really hard to have good ideas and things to add.
i am with you chris. every person i catch feelings for doesn’t want a relationship or some other stupid excuse. it’s so frustrating and truly makes u feel like something is completely wrong with you. ugh everyone just sucks
You need to immediately find out what someone is looking for instead of wasting time getting to know someone and then finding out later.
Why are you shutting down every thought that one old dude gave? He was giving solid advice I agreed with.
Jake continuing to add animals behind him lmao
“that’s a lot of photos though” IM HOLLERING 😭😭
It’s almost hard to watch because of how you treat Jake. The difference between how you treat Jake and how you treat Sam and Justin is insane
Litterally just sat down, wit my bbq wings on my lunch break, couldn't think of a better way to spend the next hour 🤣💖 love ya Chris. iconicccccc
Read "bbq wings on" and immediately thought about "bbq sauce on my titties" lmao
enjoy your lunch babe🥰🥰🥰🥰
Exactly what I’m doing for my lunch break hahaha
I wish my lunch was an hour omfg that sounds lit
@lindsay5915 It was delicious, my acid reflux is not agreeing but the saratonin was surging 🤣
Chris, I promise you that you are not alone in feeling like you’re the one constantly being “rejected”, despite their initial first interest. I know it’s hard to not internalize but it’s truly not about you and more that the majority of people are fucked up and terrified of change/commitment, and are flakey. You’ll find your person, most likely when you’re not even looking
Yeah in all honesty a lot of people are only on dating apps for validation. They're not really looking for anything
I've been with my man for going on 13 years this July and how we met was SO random and not expected at all.(I really wasn't looking for a boyfriend or for love.) We met on a now defunct message forum and we were the only two people on there who lived in Ohio (I was way North in Cleveland and he was all the way South in Cincinnati) and we just started chatting on MSN messenger at first, then on the phone for awhile, and then after a few months he drove up to meet me and he was into me right away but it took me awhile to get into him because the guy I was with before him (and quite a few guys I dated) were aholes and some were really abusive so I was traumatized for a long time and was afraid of getting hurt again so at first I pushed him away and when he started to not calling or coming around as much, I didn't like it and that's when I realized I had fell for him so I called him up and asked him if he would be my man and he said "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to ask me! And I love you too!" And the rest is 13 years history! We know each other better than anybody else in this world. He's definitely my soul mate and knows how to take care of me in the ways that it counts. Also, we can sit in complete silence for hours and it's not awkward or feels weird. It's complete comfortable silence. When you're REALLY comfortable with somebody you don't need to constantly fill the silence with stupid BS, you're just comfortable being together without saying a word.
I think Chris addressed it in a previous podcast episode but this is the first time I've listened to the audio of an episode without watching the video, so I couldn't see body language etc. but damn, Chris' banter with Jake really does come off harsh sometimes
It doesn't really seem like banter, it seems like he actually dislikes him- that wasn't normal friendly fire that was straight up mean and snarky.. like dang he shut him down after every comment
I find he is really aggressive with Jake. Also when the other two bring up removing some pictures he is down to do it
He’s always the harshest and most rude to Jake and then Justin & Sam just sit there awkwardly and try to play it off because they know it’s uncomfortable. It’s just painful to watch cuz why do the other two NEVER stick up for him???
If they don’t vibe with each other then he should probably stop doing podcasts w him
Chris as a pansexual woman from Ohio, dating was the worst fucking thing ever. I was single for so so so long and I truly was like maybe the hook up life is for me. Then I ended up always feeling worse in the end because I wasn’t realizing that I wanted love. Fast forward to years later when I finally caved and said yes to a valentines date my friends hooked me up with. After never thinking I’d find anyone that respected me, my boundaries,and my sexuality also. I ended up with an amazing valentines date that I’m still really happy to wake up to everyday for the past year. There are people out there for you. Even if you have to wait. Never settle for what doesn’t fit you.
I need happy stories like this.
Chris is such and asshole to Jake it honestly makes me wish the team had their own podcast cause their conversations are so genuine and Chris shuts him down so much it makes me cringe on Chris’s behalf and that’s that I loved the pod
The amount of times I click off cause of how awkward he makes shit
When someone says something like "you don't want to date me" LISTEN TO THEM.
Chris I’ve been going through the most painful breakup for the past couple weeks and your videos are literally the only thing bringing me comfort 💙 thank u
“THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR” oh hell naw we are not on a dating app to find friends babe
imaging chris putting some ladies kids to sleep is so cute and funny
chris: oh is that loud
my eardrums: *ruptured*
me: no sweetie not at all 🦻🏻
Chris you are lowkey so rude and dismissive of everything Jake has to say and it’s honestly so annoying. I like Jake and he gives valid points. Everyone’s opinion doesn’t have to match yours.
Jake had a great point saying Chris has too many photos and Chris immediately gets defensive. Yikes.
i noticed this in EVERY VIDEO JAKES IN. like immediately chris shuts him down as soon as he opens his mouth it’s so sad. it’s almost as bad as watching an old person eat alone if not worse.
Finally someone said it !!
No because I love Chris and jake but this is such a good take . He always says such rude stuff to jake and dismisses him like his opinion doesn’t matter at all . I hate it . Jake is a dad .. he feels more and just has a different perspective..
It’s getting out of hand he said “f u”
HOLY SHIT hearing my voicemail was a fever dream. i love u chris my favorite podcast.
My fave RUclips’r. I always go back and watch your “reacting to my liked TikTok’s” bc your genuine laugh is sooo contagious lol
You seem happy/happier - I haven’t watched you in a while. But I hope you’re doing well still, Chris
This had the vibe of the old episodes and it was great!
I know it sounds awfully cliche, but stop looking and let love find you. there is nothing more magnetic that someone who is relaxed, smiling and loving life! let them do the chasing 😊
I will say, some big sisterly advice: you don’t have to tell anyone that it’s your first time or whatever. Especially because the bad ppl in this world will hear the words “Virgin” or “inexperienced” and use your vulnerability and/or lack of knowledge against you. You can generalize if you want like “I’m not super experienced” if you prefer. Or you can even just pretend you’re experienced and decide if/when to disclose to them later about your lack of experience. There’s no rules to it. Just make sure to protect yourself first to keep the nasties from taking advantage of you. ❤
as for ur Raya situation: people LOVE attention. from whoever will give it. It's disgusting. They love to feel validated. They love playing into the fantasy and then pulling that shit right out from under you. You deserve better and one day will find it
I called in for the first time was super nervous and now I’m just currently watching waiting for it lol. Either way my life is a dating horror nightmare and I need my own show 😂 you’ll find the person you’re meant to be with when you’re ready chris, you got this ❤
It wasn’t played but I have been all my 20’s k bye 👋 😂
Even when you put not looking for a hookup/no sex on the 1st date, people see that as a challenge, especially straight guys. It does not weed anyone out. Thats why I stopped using dating sites years ago (way before cell apps existed), it was just a hook up scene.
ahhhh hi Chris!! I love your podcast and I LOVE your team. On fridays I have the day off from work, I take my baby to daycare, and my husband is at his work (lol loser) and I do chores and meal prep while listening to you!!!!!!! Keep on keeping on and CONGRATS ON YOUR HOME HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO MUCH WORK
The “put them allll to bed” is underrated 😂😂
Dating is hard. I’m entering my 30s and I’m so glad that I didn’t marry any of my previous partners but it’s also lonely at times. I feel like dating in my early twenties was easier and now I wonder if I’ll ever find my person. I try to have faith that it will happen when it’s meant to but with biological clocks and friends being settled down it can definitely be hard. Plus online dating can be so weird. Maybe it’s just me but I find it difficult to know if I actually vibe with someone romantically over apps. I need that personal interaction to know if I like someone, so I don’t even want to put effort into trying to talk to someone online. As humans we need connection so I guess all of us singletons just need to believe in the universe’s timing. Anyways, you’re amazing Chris. You’ll find someone really dope for sure 🖤
Chris, idk if you'll see this lol but I just wanna say that I totally get what you're feeling/experiencing. Don't see it as you're not worth it or that you're doing something wrong/it's not working out. Sometimes when it appears that things aren't working out, they really are. It may not always look how we'd anticipate but life wouldn't be as interesting and beautiful if we didn't get surprised. Just know that this period of your solitude is laying a foundation. You're connecting more with yourself, learning more of what you want and what you don't want, and that will bring in a partner who reflects those values. Trust and know that your time is coming.
I speak this from a place of personal experience. Don't rush what you want to last
Respectfully with so much love, as someone who’s partner is a Veteran with PTS, a Veteran so easily triggered that he had an episode during intercourse is really difficult and heartbreaking. To be so out of control paired with flashbacks and triggered by strangers and the stigma is a huge reason why their death by suicide risk is so high and why they’re afraid to get help 💛 Not trying to invalidate your experience because it’s definitely tricky to navigate but to share that story in a “Hookup Horror Story” video feels unfair and disingenuous as I know you’re someone who does care about mental health awareness.
I totally agree with you on this take. Only because I also know what it’s like to have a partner with PTSD. But, I don’t think he meant any harm. It’s hard for people to understand what our military/ veterans go though. 🙁 We need to shed more light on this topic!
LISTEN TO JAKE!!! That’s wayyy too many pics. It’s a turn off.
Okay so. The dating part of this podcast was WAY too relatable… this happens to me LITERALLY every time and another notch in the belt of “its me”. Wow, never related to someone more as I am also head over heels for that person until they’re not lol keep your head up Chris, your persons out there ❤️❤️❤️
When I was on dating apps I absolutely made it known I was looking for something real and sex was not gonna happen on the first date. Yea I got a lot of men who became uninterested very quick, but I also found the man of my dreams by knowing what I want and not settling ! ❤❤
chris thank you for once again being so vulnerable on this pod you continue to create a safe space for your listeners to relate to you and it is so helpful to hear (':
From 7:38 in this episode for a good 15 minutes I was about to cry about all the incredibly (painfully) relatable things Chris said about dating and the frustration that comes with it. I can’t thank you enough for expressing it so clearly ugh ilysm
chris i relate to you so much when it comes to being just another person for people to lead on. it’s really sad. all of my friends are in relationships, whether happy or not, i can’t even get INTO a relationship. i can’t find anyone who gives a shit about me after one deep conversation where they’re saying they don’t judge yet the next day, contact is either less or dropped. like get over yourself lmao like i just want to find someone who gives a shit about me but that’s just not out there i guess? who knows. i hope we find love chris, and SOON 😭❤️
I feel the EXACT same way about dating Chris. OPur storys mirror each other a lot in that department. I wish I knew the secret too, because I have been rejected by every person I tried to date.
Chris certainly has interesting experiences to share. We wish him all the best with his life and career.
I really wanted to call in bc basically all of my tinder dates went awful from the end of high school and early college, but I felt like it would've been too long. Long story short the worst one was where the guy picked me up and kept saying we should do more things and it was like a never-ending date. We got dinner, went to a petting zoo, then went bowling, and then went to a hookah lounge. I literally said I'm tired I want to go home and he said lets go do this one more thing. It was a first date and he also literally brought me a gift which was perfume and some sort of dog figurine or some weird knick knack. He had some wilddd things to say and on the way back to bringing me home he literally admitted he had broken into ppl's houses and stolen shit as a teen. Needless to say I ghosted.
SLAYING the sound board babe
Im literally constantly crying about what you’re going through too with dating and relationships it makes me feel like complete shit . People are so obsessed with the catch.
First episode I’ve watched and I’m living for it! Chris ur So authentic it’s refreshing ❤❤❤❤❤
Still waiting for Jake to have a sea turtle plushie behind him 🐢
My heart goes out to you. If there's any justice in the world, you will find your person. Love you Chris
when it seems like you might actually start dating/become exclusive with someone but they're not looking for anything serious or just wanna be friends... I'm like WHY are you asking about me moving to your city
Going to be taking some dabs while I listen & half assed watch.
Chris is so mean to his manager. Like he shuts down almost everything he says
I was thinking the same thing…
Very strange. I think Chris is threatened by him so he tries to put him in his place maybe? Who knows 🤷🏻♀️
I know! I was so surprised by that :( I thought he gave Chris some really nice *reasonable* advice and in response Chris was so rude and snarky!
He’s been getting so rude at this point, I’ve actually just been skipping some of the podcasts because Chris is just plain mean. It’s not even sassy humor. It’s shitty behavior.
omfgg so I wasn’t the only one, I was looking at Chris’s body language when his manager talked he looke irritated or something
YOU ARE GLOWING CHRIS
ur real as fuck some people can’t handle it ur lover will come
the one thing that's the most comfort to me when im sad about never experiencing love is knowing that im not alone id watch hours of u complaining about yr love life and just sit there like MEE TOOO!!!!!
A GUY LITERALLY SAID THAT TO ME LIKE FUCKING RECENT ' you wouldnt want to be in a rs with me".
Few weeks later , he said he might want to consider me as a partner and at that point i was over it and there were red flags.
If anybody had a chance with Chris I doubt they’d be saying all that they’d just be like “no babe it just surprised me you made a chris Jenner wig for the occasion “
Literally the moment I stopped looking because I gave up all hope I met my fiancé. You’ll find your match, Chris 🖤 you are a catch!
Have an amazing wedding!
Idk if I’m over analyzing but I’m starting to really hate how you speak at Jake.
We missed you sam 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I feel like potential romantic partners are probably intimidated by Chris. He is such a big personality who really fills the room, other may feel like they can't compete with that? Plus he is so talented and stylish, he's truly such a catch (like he knows😌). And fashionable people seem to get judged far more negatively it seems.
Good honest human talks. You guys rock
This episode was so good(as always). I’m now in a really perfect relationships (where all our goals,views, love languages and traumas are almost the same) and it all began by complete accident. We met on tinder and both were really close to swipe ✖️.From my side cause her profile was without bio(but I swiped ❤ for her spotify tastes and bicycles as an interest), and from her side cause I had the same name as her ex(but she liked my bio and a meme between photos). And we both were not even searching for relationships, but our first date really cleared everything up (that that’s it)
Before her in my life I thought that there was something wrong with me, that I couldn’t be loved, because all my previous attempts in relationships were completely fucкed. But now I understand that all the people I have been with was not my vibe. I tried to be good for them but didn’t view it in the way they also have to be good for me (that I don’t have to change something in me in order to be comfortable with them). And another huge aspect is really learning to communicate your needs and wants at the beginning.
Hope everyone who want to be in a comfy relationships will find it. And those who just want a hookup also find what they want.
“That’s a lot of photos”😂😂😂
chris you are GLOWING
I know you probably won't see this comment, but it's called future faking and it's very common with Dismissive Avoidants. I wonder if you are falling for people who are like this. I would recommend looking into Attachment Styles and if there's anything you need to work on to attract the type of person you want.
This was such a good episode! Like my fav one I think
The dating piece is so damn relatable in the worst way. I have the same experience, so many times where they were the first one talking about getting in a relationship then by the time I'm on board, they're like, actually, nah then ghost. I've also never understood or been on board with dating for fun rather than for the long run and no one ever seems to understand.
Dating is hard. I'm the same way Chris I think I'm great, yet I've been dumped and ghosted in the last few years and it hard to not take that personally. You just mostly have to understand it's their issues and not you. They weren't it, and the one will not disappear that easily.
hehe that one stand of hair on Justin at 45:35 has him looking like a fun lil teletubbie
PLEASE do a podcast on dating sites! You are so right about it being entertaining. Half of the time I was on there I purely used it as a confidence booster and a good laugh. Make for great stories though. I met my husband through mutual friends so not helpful at all but I would say you'll find your person when you aren't looking for it. You're awesome and whoever you end up with will need to be equally as awesome. Not an easy find! ♥️ Also, first time sex stories would be a fantastic topic for unhinged.
as someone who lives in salisbury md when you said “as someone who is bi i didn’t wanna date anyone in delaware” i felt that so hard
Love all of your podcasts/vids, this one was one of my fav!!!
everyone’s mad at how Chris was acting towards jake but I kinda had the same response to what jake was saying 😭 maybe it’s just the way Jake said things that made Chris respond that way
Asking Chris dating advice, while he discusses his unsuccessful dating history .... 😅. Blind leading the blind.
Chris needs to go on the H3 bachelor show 🌹🏃♀️
Person who hasn't been in a serious relationship for 10 plus years because bullshit keeps happening or long periods of not dating because the choices are not worth it 🙋♀I'm in a city notorious for being unfriendly and cliquey, and having not great guys. I feel you. The whole online dating thing is exhausting and I'm pretty sure I'll be a single woman until the end of my time on this earth. Which at this point, doesn't feel that bad because of above points. I've learned to enjoy my company, keep up with friends, and do the things I'm interested in. And maybe it's just all timing. Just know you're not alone, you're an amazing person, and the way that you put yourself out there, it will happen. It might just be timing. I think A LOT of people are going through the same thing. People are stressed and there are too many options with online dating!
This podcast was so real
Your skin looks amazing in this video!
I really wish you remembered these stories.
BREAKING NEWS SAM CALLS LISTENERS WEIRD
we love y’all 😂❤
Oh yes the mom hookup”I read the kid’s a bedtime story and then I ate out their mom” that’s the only part of that story I remember bc I heard you tell it before and I thought it was so relatable and funny
WHOAAAAA IVE HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME WITH THE VETERAN HOOKUP
Same except I was the one w the flashback and they suggested meds hahahah
Sending hugs chris. sometimes its really just about taking initiative in the conversation to get the answers you're looking for. Sometimes you just gotta be super direct and obvious. It takes lots of practice but its made things easier for me
justin in his little alfalfa era towards the end there
I have a crush on Chris so this is just tragic 😭 i live for silly cool people
A lot of people settle when it comes to relationships, I think. And we tell ourselves lots of lies, especially in the beginning. That’s how I explain why some people will get your hopes up so high just to crush them. I also think most people will sacrifice one or two things, which should be nonnegotiables, just to not be alone, and then realize after some time this isn’t their lifelong partner. I prefer to be single and just enjoy my life without commitment right now for that reason, than waste my time with casual dating or committing to someone who doesn’t do it for me. Of course it sucks being single sometimes but good things come to those who wait. You’ll find your spark!!
Actual rocket scientist/aerospace engineer here - I can promise you we don't know how to do everything on the first day!
Chris I think it would be hella cute if Jake Sam and Justin each picked sample dating profile photos. No one said you'd have to post them. I hope you rewatch these and see how dismissive you come off as. It hurts my feelings to watch lmao
On the same boat here. We're both awesome, I hope we find our people ❤️
I feel exactly the same, im at this point of my life where im able to start something new with someone as a partner and like i know im ready to give love and affection to someone. To only be disappointed and then loop on my head with my thoughts about what's wrong with me...
hey Chris, up for a facetime? lol
Chris Klemens give me a chance challenge
Um... I want to know the david Beckham story please? 🤣🤣
Chris is such a Scorpio I sooooo relate to the all or nothing beech 😂
SAM IS BACKKKK
Why does it feel like you’re reading my own personal texts? This literally just happened to me. Like, word for word almost exactly the same.
I’d date u, Chris. That’d probably be weird though, since Im just a random person on the internet. On the other hand, I guess that’s how dating apps work too, huh? 💀
Aw Chris, that thing with the person on the app is so brutal. I’m so sorry.
Over stimulated and with a full time job mother of 2 here 😂 love your videosssss my fave binge
Chris im 38 and im in the same situation. I can’t find a gf to save my life. I want someone who wants a real relationship and a commitment. I want that so bad. Let me know if you figure out how to find your person bc I need some help lol
30:31 I’ve put “Ill only give you a handshake on the first date.”
5:27 this mom had a slightly buzzed stranger come over to hookup with her while 2 children were in the house? The kids have probably both been 🍇ed by an adult 😔 Chris... I know you were a kid back then but it's 2023 the red flags decorate the walls
“Alright, we need to stop casting such a small net”
Deceased 4:31
Love you tons! You never fail to make me smile Chris! ❤️🇨🇦
Needed this and related to a lot of what Chris said..now I wish I called in
Hi Chris, I would have loved to have called in and sent you a voicemail for this topic because I have a lot to say about my dating/ romance life or rather the lack thereof but I can't because I am from Germany and also way to uncomfortable to tell everyone on the internet about this because it's literally sooo embarrassing so no. But I am going to tell you now because I relate to some things you said in this episode soooo much that I have to tell this: I am 23 years old, was somewhat cute and popular in primary/elementary school, had a weird phase in middle school which I was bullied for by mainly the boys of my class and therefore became a really angry kid in high school with my walls build up really high. On the one hand the bullying experience made me stronger and more confident in myself but on the other hand also really closed off and self-defensive and sometimes still unsure when it comes to boys. Today I know (like you said at 8:48) that I am somewhat attractive, cool, funny, a good person and I also have a lot of friends who like me but when it comes to boys/men in terms of dating I get really insecure. I just hate to say that because I have this picture in my head of myself that I am this strong and confident person now but I am not when it comes to dating/romance. What I mean is: I was never interested in boys during my time in school although all my friends were and had boyfriends so there never happened anything and I was okay with that. After that I had my first crush on someone at work who was not even remotely interested in me because he wanted to pair me off with his best friend but I was okay with that. Then there was covid and nothing besides a few tinder dates which I forced myself to but hated happened. But now for the first time in my life I kind of feel ready for a relationship because I am sick of being alone. Also now I have this huuuge crush on a friend who is really really cute and I literally cry myself to sleep every night because of him because I am soo hopeless when it comes to this stuff. I mean I never even kissed someone and relate a lot the things Caroline said in 48:50. But I am literally so scared of emotional and physical intimacy and have huge trust and commitment issues because I am so scared of rejection and just don't want to get hurt again.
You can always call and leave a voice-mail and they might play it later
I understand you, and had somehow similar experience. Maybe view your situation from the side that all you romantic experiences are in the future, so you will feel it all, and that with your knowledges(of a grown up person) it’s more likely you can save yourself from getting with shitty people! If you really like your crush view him for the way is he good for you and how he is as a person, try to know him better. Loving or liking someone is a great experience, and if someone gives you a shitty reaction for you opening about your feelings- that person is an asshole and you deserves better ❤
And about the fear of intimacy. Don’t be afraid to set clear boundaries and communicate of what is comfortable for you at the moment, if you need more time to get first kisses or touches (and it’s a red flag person who don’t respect it)