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It is different to Poland. We often talk about politics, what bring real casualties. Especialy after alkohol. Luckily we don't need one child policy or war to control our numbers. We need just to hear different opinion. Then number of citisezens drops down.
I don't understand why Japanese people are loved all over the world. They refuse to show us who they are, they impose formalities, they lie all the time, they criticize foreigners, but they are surprised when they are criticized themselves. They pretend to be good people but refuse to acknowledge their cultural issues. If they show the same attitude, how can you tell if they are good persons? These people have serious issues. They don't deserve a good reputation.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
Thats true, I have a few Japanese that I met in person via a language learning app, that over time became good friends. Japanese people outside of Japan seem to adapt pretty well to the new cultures and become quickly more open an approachable. One friend went as far as having deeply personal discussions about her fears, troubles and joys in life...
pick up a Japanese traditional art. like musical instruments etc. it open up doors to Japanese logic and ways of thinking. it is the most effective way for those which gets the flow. there is nothing no more Japanese than its arts and literature.
There is s big difference between Chinese overseas and japanese overseas behavior Whereas in china society isn't important family is way more important . And families decide where to move and to keep their values abroad. In Japan society and community is way more important than family . As a result japanese people see their community as the subtle family. Living abroad would be only acceptable if the whole community decided to migrate, and usually through a foreign company or building a capital district community . Chinese families live dispersed over foreign nations while japanese families all collect themselves at a little Tokyo to live a loyal community together .
I worked for a Japanese company for twenty years, a couple of things I learned was if you think you understand how the Japanese think, you have a rude awakening, stay silent and be humble, work very hard, if you think your boss cares about you personally you are wrong, be honest, they will never admit to a mistake, they love having drinks with you, just know you are being watched, they are like the Mafia, business is business, and never lose your temper, always be in control mentally!
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Honestly, I don't really care if I was treated like an alien in Japan because it made MUCH MORE SENSE to be treated that way in a foreign land compared to what I am now, an alien in my own home country. If anything, living a solitary life is VERY PEACEFUL.
I feel this. I don't connect with other Americans very well (I don't give a FUCK about The Office or football). I've spent my entire life enjoying Japanese things and now I'm finally amongst people that also like the same things.
Thank you Mr. Meshida, I will update my old list of instructions 1) Find heavily populate area 2)Shout "hajimemashite mutha fuckas"! 3)wait for the friendly gentlemen in blue shirts and Navy blue vests to pick you up and show you their place of work. 4) Tell them about yourself whilst they take friendly notes about you. 5)When put in a room with other friendly Japanese people, repeat step one until one of them gives you a friendly punch or two.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
@giannilyanicks1718 that's probably for the best. It would appear you aren't compatible with a slightly different sense of humour than you are used to. Are you having an off day my guy?
@giannilyanicks1718 as told by a Japanese comedian in a self deprecating way. It's a tool many comics have used and one of the first. If you don't think the topic is humerous and don't want to hear a comedians take on it, how far did you get into the video?
Meshida-san, I got a friend in Japan. He was my customer for many years. We went thru many experiences together, some dangerous ones like driving an unmarked newly paved road in a new moon night under heavy rain in Brazil. He was always ethical, honest of great integrity. I even had to learn to communicate properly in Spanish, which he speaks as a native. My opinion, you may not get many friends in Japan but the ones you get will be very fine ones.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
These are the things we say in my country to Japanese tourists. "Your English is great" "Do you already have RadAway in your konbinis?" "Sorry, I would love to have you over but we are out of rice." "Sorry, but we already cooked the fish" LOL
Don't be too hard on Japanese people. I live in London and originally from Asia and me and my friends hardly have any English friends. We have acquaintances at work but hang out? Rarely if ever. I think it is just difference in culture. And that's fine. Those westerners who complain about not making enough Japanese friends should ask themselves how much effort they made when they were in their own countries to befriend a foreigner? Look inwards. Friendships in a way is like falling in love. It happens.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their excessive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
@@maegalroammis6020it is an Asian problem in general. We never say what we truly want to say. Saying No feels like the biggest disrespect ever. Most Asian cultures East Asian, Southeast Asian or Middle Eastern are based on the honour system. There are pros to it but also like everything some drawbacks. No one says or expresses their true feelings.
I'm the kind of idiot that will befriend the girlfriend of the guy I like, to support their relationship, in the spirit of "i love him, so even if it's not with me I want him to be happy", and get used in all sorts of ways, up to be asked to redo the painting in their bedroom, because they were getting married and didn't want to spend money with a painter. I wonder how I fare in the effort department, because I still get no friends.
@@radioclash84 So interesting how different points of view can be. I remember when I learnt that much of what I was told by japanese people was just "tatemae". I felt so betrayed. From then on, I saw japanese people as untrustworthy, the kind that don't say what they mean and hardly mean what they say. They come with a smile and pleasantries, but hide the knives behind their backs, ready to stab when convenient. To me, that's cowardice. It's much more honorable to bring out your weapons, put them on the table and speak frankly, with the dignity of equals, instead of patronising, manipulating with superficialities such as etiquette (a theatre of appearances) and empty words, in order to avoid the real deal. But I guess different cultures have different ideas of honor.
I was right, my advice was the first point in this video, you have to find someone interested in you. The vídeo talks more about English language but it’s not only English, if you find someone interested in your language and culture, you will find your friend or even your partner (gf/bf). But here’s my other advices (number 1 is above): 2- Perhaps people from Tokyo are known as cold people, they are more open minded in comparison to people from the country side in relation to have foreigner friends or partners. You can include other big cities as well. The problem is you will have to compete to other foreigners for the same ‘friend’ lol. 3-If you feel your country and language are not interesting to anyone, try to achieve a better social status. Introduce yourself as ‘I work for THAT company, as someone important’ , or ‘I’m a president of certain company (even if it’s your own company and you are the only employee lol), ‘I’m a professional soccer player (even if it’s from a 3rd division team lol) etc. If they admire you, you will have more chances. 4-Some people say you must be white but it’s not true. It helps but you can succeed being Asian, Latin American, Black etc. If #1 and 2 fail, go to other cities. I took sometime to find my gf. From my region it was impossible. I ended up finding my gf in Osaka. Obviously you don’t need to move physically to all cities, search using the dating apps👍 Note: Honestly I’ve never searched for Japanese friends. I was just looking for a gf and succeeded, that’s all. When I had a band, I just looked for good musicians, independently if they were Japanese or not. My band had 3 foreigners and 2 Japanese. When I used to play soccer I could play with people from different nationalities. We were just together there for the soccer game. Even Meshida said adult Japanese person has problem to find friends as well so don’t struggle yourself to find one. Be proud of yourself, be yourself👍
I am lucky 😄 a Japanese student went to college in the UK and lived with my grandparents during my childhood and so we grew up together ❤️ she's like a sister to me and we stayed in touch when she returned to Japan. I'm going to Japan in September to visit her and maybe I'll come and see your comedy show, too, Meshida-san! ❤️
@@erw108 It's merely a comment, responding to the video's premise that it is difficult to make Japanese friends. It's a perfectly valid comment talking about MY experience with making a Japanese friend. We are all free here to talk about whatever we want, relevant or not. If you don't like my comment, then ignore it and move on to the next comment, there's no need to be rude. Perhaps you should learn more from Japanese society about being polite because you won't make any Japanese friends with this sort of attitude.
@@erw108 Wow, you're very hostile. There are other comments on here similar to mine but you didn't pick on them, only me. I have no problem with people challenging my comments but your response to my comment was weird, hostile, filled with possible envy and quite frankly unnecessary. I'm going to end this discussion here before it escalates into more nastiness because people like you have a toxic attitude and can't be reasoned with. Have a nice day.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
His videos are hilarious! A lot of what he mentions reminds me of us Scandinavian people. I have a friend from Nagasaki who says that Japan is the Sweden of Asia and Sweden the Japan of Europe. Have you heard something similar?
@@unwnme well they have like a "town" in Japan. Thats build like Sweden. Swedish Houses style, Stores, and even celebrate Swedish traditions, and so on.. so yeh something in it is it.
Here’s special Thanks! Your videos are always 面白い👍🏼 As a foreigner who has lived in Japan for 30 yrs my suggestion to my fellow foreigners is: if you want to really enjoy living in Japan, then don’t expect to blend into the society and be accepted as “their own” because that might never happen. Living as a “gaikokujin” is very stress free👍🏼
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Literally did this when I was in Japan this year. I spent years learning about the culture and "how to behave in Japan", but eventually using the gaijin pass in a bunch of situations really helped 😂
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
I was at a bar in Japan and was talking to a Japanese local man than knew really good English. I offered to buy him a drink and he politely didn't accept. At the end of the night I told him it was nice talking to him and he gave me a hug. Yes he gave me a hug I was so shocked I didn't really know how to take it. In America its normal but in Japan it really was an eye opener. Sometimes I guess people just need a hug.
And yet they find it super weird that brazilians hug and kiss on the first meeting as a way of greeting. They'd not criticise it so much if they really wanted hugs
Meshida, that's so true. I've lived in Osaka for almost 5 years. I experienced all the things that you mentioned. I understand all those things are being the part of Japanese culture, and I respect it. I had a bit lonely life in Japan but I truly enjoyed every bit of it. Good job Meshida, foreigners should know the reality....
Thank you very much Meshida for this video ^^ I have friends in Japan whom I met at school here in Finland. We still chat in social media and send and recieve cards to each other.
Very simple. On the subway pick out your new friend, scream "KOKUHAKU"!!!', run at them and give them a bear-hug. You'll have a friend for life, trust me.
Not gonna lie, seriously considering starting a "Gaijin friendly for hire" service. I will make it friendly, convenient, and they will never have to worry about us calling them to hang out. They call and book an appointment suitable for them 👍......🤣😄
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact , like if they still thinks they still lives during the isolated period of japan. very shameful during the 21th century. it's supposed to be a modern country , but people still have that middle age mindset and i dont understand why they recieve to of tourists. i have enough of the japanese asking us to learn japanese without knowing our difficulties and they lack of forgiveness they would give us if we speak it poorly , and them pretenending they're good persons while in reality they only make gentle lies over over! don't date these people!
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
Advice for making Japanese friends, from a Foreign Barbarian in Japan. 1. Join the same social circle. This could be something like a high school, or college sports club. 2. Offer help, if you can. Give your colleagues a hand, without asking. Respect+ 3. If invited to something, dont refuse. 4. Look attractive. Japanese people are drawn to fair skin and blue eyes. If you a black dude, give up.
Number 4 is not exclusive to the Japanese only, but also the rest of Asia especially those countries that were colonized by western powers back in the day.
Great video. Right on topic. I'd add the expression "Out of sight, out of mind". Once you leave Japan, your Japanese "friends" will soon forget about you, no matter how you try to continue to correspond with them. You're only "useful" to them when you are in Japan.
I was in Hong Kong and in a trainf rom the airport. Suddenly, a group of Western tourists got on board and started yelling and people looked at them. They immediately shut up.
New headcanon: Meshida-san actually speaks impeccable English with a posh British accent but purposefully hides his power level to make more friends. Also, now I just imagine every Japanese person I ever talked to secretly thinking "I'm too sober to talk with this gaijin", which makes me a little sad....
Rush hour in Japan is 8pm. They aren’t lying when they say that they work too hard. It’s ridiculous. No wonder Japanese people don’t have friends and aren’t having babies, due to over work, they don’t have time.
your analysis may extend to the fact that Japan as a nation singlehandedly pays 20% of the UN budget. What country in that position (see also Germany) is not full of "hard working types"
Is not being in a club very popular in Japan? As a foreigner you could create an English + activity group. Then whenever you teach a phrase find out what the Japanese is for that phrase. You would learn Japanese and find people who share your interest in stealing women's underwear.
This is probably one of the most difficult of things to navigate culture-to-culture. In Mainland China, it can be much easier to make closer friends if you are actually loud, bold, extroverted but fly over to Japan and they will be scared away. Go to Vietnam and again they may embrace you sooner if you're an outgoing enthusiastic type but drive over to Laos and you will scare them into hiding if you are the same sort of enthusiastic personality. This is also true in the Anglosphere to degrees and nuances. Canadians and Australians (and Americans too) will simply meet anywhere and immediately become friends, chat up a storm, share stuff BUT they will get halted in much of England where they tend to expect a kind of cold bubble and will get defensive if someone tries getting too close UNTIL, if you do warm up to them, if they unfreeze their shield, if you win them over slowly - you have a best friend for life until death. Brits tend to form exclusive but very loyal best friends and to death do they part. If you take Mainland Chinas culture, it won't necessarily be that they don't easily accept 'foreigners' into a close friendship circle but it's that they form that early with their schoolmates and that circle they graduated in will be forever the circle of inside best friends but few outside that can ever enter that level of bonding and best friend loyalty and that would exclude some added friends later in life. A Chinese spouse may very well consider the graduation circle of friends more important, closer and more loyal than their own spouse. Maybe I should just make a video on this too. Just some thoughts.
Meshida-san, I'm hoping you can make a video about the Japanese way of thinking: day-to-day, dreams and aspirations. I think people would appreciate understanding more the Japanese perspective about life.
Mr Meshida is a fine analyst and presenter of Japanese society. And his skill to express complex things in English is better than that of rather many native English speakers.
Meshida-San I have many Japanese friends after traveling a lot to japan since 2000. I have a core of close friends I'm close with in mainly Tokyo. Through them, I've met many other Japanese people and eventually became friends. It also helps that I speak Japanese. I also even attended a Japanese funeral and wedding this year for the first time.
It's all about the lanuage. After a day of hard work, people just want to relax and have good conversations; not to practice a foreign language. Imagine someone in US who speaks very little English. Speaking fluently a foreign language often means understanding the culture well. It might take longer and extra efforts, but if one can converse fluently and respect other culture's difference, one can make local friends.
You become fluent by practicing at every possible opportunity, including after a hard day of work, tho. If I'm able to write this in English, it's largely thanks to me doing just that.
When I was studying Japanese one of the most important things I learned was "社会人" (lit. "Society people"). It applies to 90% of the points you make in the video. Where in the west we value individualism, in Japan it's conformity. So, if you don't learn customs in addition to the language you will be ignored. There is another Japanese expression "出る杭は打たれる" (lit. "The stake that sticks out gets pounded down") that is commonly used for people who stand out or use bad manners. So if you are wondering why Japanese people won't accept friends who don't conform it has to do with 内外 (lit. The in-groups & out-groups) which is too long and complicated to explain but it would look bad on a typical Japanese person accepting someone as friend who is not 100% familiar Japanese customs. As a result they themselves could punished by other people they know for sticking their heads out.
Knowing Japanese is the first requirement for having Japanese friends. Having good behavior also counts, in the sense of acting according to the moment, being funny at the right times and at other times taking things seriously. I hope to make new friends in Japan, I know most of the Japanese people in Brazil but I really want the opportunity to talk to natives
This guy knows what he's talking about. Not everyone might agree with everything he said but it depends on your own personal perspectives I guess. Still though, he's presenting it in a way that actually makes sense, telling the overall truth but not in a way that'll burst your bubble, you know?
Being a foreign student in Tsukuba for quite a long time now, this has actually been the most depressing video I've seen in these years living here. I'm so glad I have a ton of foreign friends to hang out with until I leave this sinking ship 🤣
That’s why us westerners get along with the Otaku and other really nerdy subcultures and dissidents the best instead of the corporate statist mainstream society. For me it’s people in the Otaku and history nerd subculture especially if they overlap like in Azur Lane. Or other Gacha games.
0:12 This, this right here underlines the whole issue perfectly! making Japanese friends is super easy, making real Japanese friends after they enter the job market, especially if they are applying for or are hired by a 一流会社 (first class company) You should def. add to the list *11. Don't use sarcasm*
So as a Finn Japan would be perfect. I don't like talking much and prefer being disturbingly quiet to a point where i'm often yelled at for being too quiet and avoid people groups like a mythical pokemon. While i spend more time trying to understand and read the room than trying to be assertive xD
बहुत पहले नहीं, जापान में भारतीय त्योहार होली के लिए एक उत्सव था और ऐसा लग रहा था कि जापानी लोग भारतीय होली उत्सव के दौरान टोक्यो में भारतीयों के साथ जश्न मना रहे थे, दिलचस्प
Thanks! I genuinely laughed at this. Have a beer on me. Kanpai, Meshida-san .. ;) So first lines to learn in Japanese is : "Excuse, me. I don't know wtf you are saying. Have a good day. .. :| "
haha so true. Some of it reminds me when going out with my wife (Japanese) to some drinking places and get to talk with people somewhat around our age and she tries to make them befriend me and hang out at some point. Then exchange line and I'm like thinking "I don't think they actually want to lol, me neither" since probably no common interest and we are just drinking. I understand she wants me to have friends here and it would be nice since the time difference makes it almost impossible to keep in touch with my friends in my home country, but it seems pretty much impossible. I'm an introvert anyway and always have other interests I want to pursue on my own but I enjoy going out here way more than in my country and I understand I won't be making friends here for real and everyone is hiding what they think and "lie" to make the time just fun.
After living in Japan for nearly ten years the best advice I can give is accept you are an outsider and will never be fully accepted. However, that doesn’t mean you are a pariah, work on your language and cultural skills, recognize that you are a permanent guest and things are pretty good. I’ve also noticed a shift in recent years where more Japanese seem to be slightly more comfortable with foreigners.
I am Egyptian and I have been watching your videos and a lot of Japanese RUclipsrs. The more I watch, the more I realize how totally opposite Egypt and Japan are in everything. it makes me wonder if I can ever make a Japanese friend. When Japanese people are quiet, Egyptians are loud, when Japanese people are shy, Egyptians are more direct, when Japanese people have this collective mindset, Egyptians are unyielding (it’s because of our long history with invaders). In Japan, talking about politics & religion is taboo, whereas in Egypt it’s not (to be honest, it’s because our whole lives revolve around these two, even though I personally think it is one of Egypt’s main problems). But personally, I abhor talking about politics as nothing good ever comes out of it. I will only answer some questions about religion if someone asks me about it. Although I do disagree with one thing and that is to deny a compliment and humble oneself. I have tried that most of my life and it has done me more damage than good. It turned me into a negative, self-deprecating person with no courage. If I get complimented, I simply say “Thank you”. I find this to be the best response. Even within Egyptian standards, I come off as “too shy, introverted, and quiet”. Maybe to a Japanese person, that would still be too direct and loud. I also have very thick skin so I don’t care much if people are too blunt with me. I would rather they say exactly what they mean because I have a hard time reading between the lines. If it happens that I make a Japanese friend, then it’s fine, if not it’s also fine. Friendships shouldn’t be forced or rushed.
one reason why i just praised myself in school. (classmates, teacher never understood WHY i did this) i said that no one else would, all the time, and praise is a good motivator for help for good work. (also, no one else knew why i was better than everyone else in school. ) my classmates caught onto this, and i started making more friends, but my teachers hated me (not understanding how i finished my classes faster.
Thank you for your candor Mr Meshida! It was not only very interesting but quite informative and entertaining 😄 As a fan of Kitano Takeshi's humor and acting since the 90's (hana-bi, kikujirō, the violent cop series and Zatōichi are among my all-time classics), I can get an idea of the difference between North-American and Japanese humoristic sensibilities.
What is really friendship ? Is it showing a lot of emotions everyday to your friend? Sometimes i feel people have become a matter of fact with each other in some cultures. I believe if you go to europe and particularly northern europe . Its very much like that. Although people arent polite , you wont feel warmth either everyday. Japan is such nation. But they look entertaining to they attract people. But you dont understand its not a genuine leisurous romantic party nation for anime. Its all a show. Its a cultural performance. Japan is about work achievment and performance. Be professional useful and work hard in japan . I believe this increases trust but in the end japanese people work to live their happy life . You got to show you are truly long term reliable person in japan , you serve this country . Japanese people have passion not when they relax . They have passion when they work. Be a professional person. But stay polite . Be gentle calm yet motivated. Japanese people make anime . Thats why you have anime. Japanese themselves are everyday busy doing ambitious stuff for a lifetime Japanese friendship is actually intense partnership .
i always want to make friends with japanese people but not long ago i change my mind & i just want to visit Japan as a tourists to Osaka, Okinawa, Kyoto & Tokyo with only one Japanese friend ie. Meshida😃
Long time ago , a Japanese hafu fren told me the only way to be accepted in japanese society is to be born into it , and also born in japan not outside . So no matter what all those Gaijin do at most they are tolerated and maybe a few are accepted as novelty . Guess all those Weebos are going to be for a shock. 🤣 Not saying whether it is a good or bad thing , just what i noticed.
Maybe the best way to make friends is to pick them from a group that's already willing to communicate and to understand with foreigners. This way I didn't have to deal with any Japanese who were not open minded. I made a few Japanese penpals with Slowly and became close friends with two of them. One visited last summer for a week (Germany and Belgium) and this year it's planned that she will be my "local tour guide" on a bike journey we're going to make together. It's along the coastal bike paths, roughly from Kyoto to Hiroshima. Fun fact: Whenever I tried to speak some Japanese, my friend praised the effort - and busted out laughing & told me to stick to English please 😂 Oh, I got invited by her Japanese colleagues and (sports) team mates too - but it was all tatemae. 🙄
😂 😂😂 Haven’t we learned anything on this train ride?? Your channel brings back good memories. どうもありがと買いました. Hope I said that right 😮 Anyway dai nama on me!
I grew up in America, i don't even make American friends. I guess I'm still more comfortable with asian.. though we speak different languages but share similar culture
Meshida-san I hope you read this. Do you think it's ok to love the language and the cultural products of Japan (i.e. manga, anime, videogames) while not liking its social norms? Even though I've been studying Japanese for two and a half years now, I'm really not a fan of suppressing one's feelings while trying to be a psychic to guess everyone's feelings. It's like the more I know about Japan the country, the happier I feel that I'm not a Japanese. What do you think?
You're not the only one feeling this way. Learning Japanese since 2018 till now, learning to Advanced level. Lived in Japan too till last year. From what I observed & experienced, 90% of what Meshida-san said in this video is true (the 10% part: to speak English or Japanese with the Japanese. I haven't figured out yet if I should spare the Japanese embarrassment, by talking to them in Japanese first...or I should speak English with them first to gauge their interest in practicing English with me). I feel sad for the Japanese too, that they have these social problems that we Western-minded foreigners find it frustrating. However, what I know is this: the Japanese close to you, like your own work colleagues, if something about you is bothering them a lot, they will talk behind your back. They will avoid looking at you when one of them or the work boss above you all, tells you upfront in full honesty, no punches hold back about your mistake(s). I experienced this when I started working in a Japanese supermarket before, when I wasn't working like-minded like them at the beginning. They have a certain rhythm & speed when working that makes the Japanese famously efficient. The Japanese who are just your acquaintances, you can only talk shallow stuff & greetings with them. If you want to talk deep topics with the Japanese you rarely meet, just forget it & give up. Talking with other wiser foreigners, therapists or unloading it all to your journal/diary are waaaaaaay better options. As a summary, it is ok to love the Japanese language & its culture. Now that you, I & other foreigners living in Japan are aware by now the Japanese social problems, the best you can do is try make peace & accept their weaknesses. Nothing in this world, not even Japan, is perfectly flawless.
Yep same here. All of this culture around making Japanese friends just seems like bad mental health to me. Your feelings and emotions are not something to be ashamed of. I wonder what it's like to be a psychologist / therapist in Japan
@@rebeccaliew2247 so pleased to have read these comments. I appreciate how difficult it is to learn a new language and the same issues of learning vocabulary and grammar without learning to vocalise it is hard work. Saying that the trip to Hakone today will be interesting. I have found that the Japanese do well at being able to point and indicate how many with fingers if they are not sure.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice. i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
I feel exactly the same. Maybe because of I born and raised in Hong Kong, I can easily accept the feeling of loving the language and the cultural products of Japan but don't like their lifestyle. Many Hong Kongers often say, "Japan is for fun(travel/visit), but not for living(in it)". There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have feel about Japan. Let me be brutally honest with you, I live in the States over two decades, there are many things and culture of America I don't like, but I certain love living in America. Americans are friendly, generous, respectful. (of course, generally speaking, not all) It's easy to make money here. (land of opportunity is not fictional) I lover driving, so cheap to own a car(s) is a big plus for me. Houses are spacious, especially compare to HK, and many more reasons I love living in America. But at the same time, I never really got into American pop culture. I don't enjoy American foods very much. I don't like muscle cars, football, country music, rap... etc. You see what I mean? Whatever you feel for Japan is very understandable. It almost same as how I feel about America, but just the other way around...
i was in japan a few days ago and inside the Ginza line, i remember hearing these japanese people who speak pretty loudly inside the train. Furthermore, a few weeks back i was also in Sapporo and i hear people pretty much yelling happily at the streets!
Number 8 is also a thing in America. Especially at large family gatherings, every family has that one relative that will start talking about politics. Even though nobody wants to talk about it. Generally in conversations, most Americans agree to not bring up politics. But there's always someone that wants to do it.
My earliest "pulls" or attraction to Japan are Voltes V, Hikari Sentai Maskman, Choudenshi Bioman, Space Sheriff Shaider and Kamen Rider Black. Years later, Ultraman. Late 90s up until now, anime and manga. It is a mixture of awe, fascination, and a bit of disheartening/disappointment. Truth hurts, and I appreciate the brutal honesty. With all sincerity, I admire and respect Japanese language, culture, and your model of hardwork and ingenuity. Oh, add J-Pop. I choose J-Pop anytime over K-Pop and its cultural impact. May I really learn your language as one of ways to express appreciation and gratitude on how your culture has influenced more than half of my life.
Thank you very much for watching this video! If you enjoy watching this video, please watch this video too!
How To Treat Endangered Japanese | Travel Guide in Japan
ruclips.net/video/YBq40FiZlDs/видео.html
It is different to Poland. We often talk about politics, what bring real casualties. Especialy after alkohol. Luckily we don't need one child policy or war to control our numbers. We need just to hear different opinion. Then number of citisezens drops down.
@@robertmadea9229
Unfortunately, now you have millions more Ukrainian refugees, so all these intricate policies went after the Russian warship
I don't understand why Japanese people are loved all over the world. They refuse to show us who they are, they impose formalities, they lie all the time, they criticize foreigners, but they are surprised when they are criticized themselves. They pretend to be good people but refuse to acknowledge their cultural issues. If they show the same attitude, how can you tell if they are good persons? These people have serious issues. They don't deserve a good reputation.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
What about meeting people in so called sub cultures? I would like to meet car enthusiasts in Japan, e.g. JDM style and others.
The best way to make Japanese friends is to learn the language and culture, and then return to your home country and make Japanese friends there.
Thats true, I have a few Japanese that I met in person via a language learning app, that over time became good friends. Japanese people outside of Japan seem to adapt pretty well to the new cultures and become quickly more open an approachable. One friend went as far as having deeply personal discussions about her fears, troubles and joys in life...
pick up a Japanese traditional art. like musical instruments etc.
it open up doors to Japanese logic and ways of thinking.
it is the most effective way for those which gets the flow.
there is nothing no more Japanese than its arts and literature.
most japanese don't leave japan so they're rare. they judge foreigners.
There is s big difference between Chinese overseas and japanese overseas behavior
Whereas in china society isn't important family is way more important . And families decide where to move and to keep their values abroad.
In Japan society and community is way more important than family . As a result japanese people see their community as the subtle family.
Living abroad would be only acceptable if the whole community decided to migrate, and usually through a foreign company or building a capital district community .
Chinese families live dispersed over foreign nations while japanese families all collect themselves at a little Tokyo to live a loyal community together .
WHY WOULD WE DATE THEM IF THEYRE ALL TWOFACED
I worked for a Japanese company for twenty years, a couple of things I learned was if you think you understand how the Japanese think, you have a rude awakening, stay silent and be humble, work very hard, if you think your boss cares about you personally you are wrong, be honest, they will never admit to a mistake, they love having drinks with you, just know you are being watched, they are like the Mafia, business is business, and never lose your temper, always be in control mentally!
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
"They will never admit to a mistake" wow that's toxic. I thaught they would fall on their knees and ask for forgiveness lol watched too many movies
Honestly, I don't really care if I was treated like an alien in Japan because it made MUCH MORE SENSE to be treated that way in a foreign land compared to what I am now, an alien in my own home country.
If anything, living a solitary life is VERY PEACEFUL.
I feel this. I don't connect with other Americans very well (I don't give a FUCK about The Office or football). I've spent my entire life enjoying Japanese things and now I'm finally amongst people that also like the same things.
the problem is not the fact we're an alien in a foreign country or not ; its just the way they treat us like dogs or objects
Thank you Mr. Meshida, I will update my old list of instructions
1) Find heavily populate area
2)Shout "hajimemashite mutha fuckas"!
3)wait for the friendly gentlemen in blue shirts and Navy blue vests to pick you up and show you their place of work.
4) Tell them about yourself whilst they take friendly notes about you.
5)When put in a room with other friendly Japanese people, repeat step one until one of them gives you a friendly punch or two.
Can confirm. Totally works.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
@giannilyanicks1718 that's probably for the best. It would appear you aren't compatible with a slightly different sense of humour than you are used to.
Are you having an off day my guy?
@@RobbieDBobbet i didn't though that video would be humorous . the subject is sensitive
@giannilyanicks1718 as told by a Japanese comedian in a self deprecating way. It's a tool many comics have used and one of the first. If you don't think the topic is humerous and don't want to hear a comedians take on it, how far did you get into the video?
Meshida-san, I got a friend in Japan. He was my customer for many years. We went thru many experiences together, some dangerous ones like driving an unmarked newly paved road in a new moon night under heavy rain in Brazil. He was always ethical, honest of great integrity.
I even had to learn to communicate properly in Spanish, which he speaks as a native.
My opinion, you may not get many friends in Japan but the ones you get will be very fine ones.
It’s like this everywhere. Real people recognize real people.
@@Ropewatch True. There are real people everywhere.
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
These are the things we say in my country to Japanese tourists.
"Your English is great"
"Do you already have RadAway in your konbinis?"
"Sorry, I would love to have you over but we are out of rice."
"Sorry, but we already cooked the fish" LOL
Japan is like an introverts dream; you fit in better if you keep to yourself. Love your channel!
Don't be too hard on Japanese people. I live in London and originally from Asia and me and my friends hardly have any English friends. We have acquaintances at work but hang out? Rarely if ever. I think it is just difference in culture. And that's fine. Those westerners who complain about not making enough Japanese friends should ask themselves how much effort they made when they were in their own countries to befriend a foreigner? Look inwards. Friendships in a way is like falling in love. It happens.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their excessive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
@@maegalroammis6020it is an Asian problem in general. We never say what we truly want to say. Saying No feels like the biggest disrespect ever. Most Asian cultures East Asian, Southeast Asian or Middle Eastern are based on the honour system. There are pros to it but also like everything some drawbacks. No one says or expresses their true feelings.
I'm the kind of idiot that will befriend the girlfriend of the guy I like, to support their relationship, in the spirit of "i love him, so even if it's not with me I want him to be happy", and get used in all sorts of ways, up to be asked to redo the painting in their bedroom, because they were getting married and didn't want to spend money with a painter. I wonder how I fare in the effort department, because I still get no friends.
@@radioclash84 So interesting how different points of view can be. I remember when I learnt that much of what I was told by japanese people was just "tatemae". I felt so betrayed. From then on, I saw japanese people as untrustworthy, the kind that don't say what they mean and hardly mean what they say. They come with a smile and pleasantries, but hide the knives behind their backs, ready to stab when convenient. To me, that's cowardice. It's much more honorable to bring out your weapons, put them on the table and speak frankly, with the dignity of equals, instead of patronising, manipulating with superficialities such as etiquette (a theatre of appearances) and empty words, in order to avoid the real deal. But I guess different cultures have different ideas of honor.
@@radioclash84 that's why there is always conflicts between asian and many westerners.
I was right, my advice was the first point in this video, you have to find someone interested in you. The vídeo talks more about English language but it’s not only English, if you find someone interested in your language and culture, you will find your friend or even your partner (gf/bf).
But here’s my other advices (number 1 is above):
2- Perhaps people from Tokyo are known as cold people, they are more open minded in comparison to people from the country side in relation to have foreigner friends or partners. You can include other big cities as well. The problem is you will have to compete to other foreigners for the same ‘friend’ lol.
3-If you feel your country and language are not interesting to anyone, try to achieve a better social status. Introduce yourself as ‘I work for THAT company, as someone important’ , or ‘I’m a president of certain company (even if it’s your own company and you are the only employee lol), ‘I’m a professional soccer player (even if it’s from a 3rd division team lol) etc. If they admire you, you will have more chances.
4-Some people say you must be white but it’s not true. It helps but you can succeed being Asian, Latin American, Black etc. If #1 and 2 fail, go to other cities. I took sometime to find my gf. From my region it was impossible. I ended up finding my gf in Osaka. Obviously you don’t need to move physically to all cities, search using the dating apps👍
Note: Honestly I’ve never searched for Japanese friends. I was just looking for a gf and succeeded, that’s all.
When I had a band, I just looked for good musicians, independently if they were Japanese or not. My band had 3 foreigners and 2 Japanese.
When I used to play soccer I could play with people from different nationalities. We were just together there for the soccer game.
Even Meshida said adult Japanese person has problem to find friends as well so don’t struggle yourself to find one. Be proud of yourself, be yourself👍
I am lucky 😄 a Japanese student went to college in the UK and lived with my grandparents during my childhood and so we grew up together ❤️ she's like a sister to me and we stayed in touch when she returned to Japan. I'm going to Japan in September to visit her and maybe I'll come and see your comedy show, too, Meshida-san! ❤️
@@erw108 It's merely a comment, responding to the video's premise that it is difficult to make Japanese friends. It's a perfectly valid comment talking about MY experience with making a Japanese friend. We are all free here to talk about whatever we want, relevant or not. If you don't like my comment, then ignore it and move on to the next comment, there's no need to be rude. Perhaps you should learn more from Japanese society about being polite because you won't make any Japanese friends with this sort of attitude.
@@erw108 Wow, you're very hostile. There are other comments on here similar to mine but you didn't pick on them, only me. I have no problem with people challenging my comments but your response to my comment was weird, hostile, filled with possible envy and quite frankly unnecessary. I'm going to end this discussion here before it escalates into more nastiness because people like you have a toxic attitude and can't be reasoned with. Have a nice day.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
This was actually very educational. I'm gonna remember these when I go to Japan next month.
I'm Japanese, but I find Meshida san's video so funny😂And quite true😅
His videos are hilarious! A lot of what he mentions reminds me of us Scandinavian people. I have a friend from Nagasaki who says that Japan is the Sweden of Asia and Sweden the Japan of Europe. Have you heard something similar?
@@unwnme well they have like a "town" in Japan. Thats build like Sweden. Swedish Houses style, Stores, and even celebrate Swedish traditions, and so on.. so yeh something in it is it.
Meshida is always funny,his videos should go instead of NHK World for foreigners
I've lived in Japan on and off for over ten years. I still learn stuff from Meshida-san.
Meshida-san once fought a tiger and saved my life. I'll never forget it.
Here’s special Thanks! Your videos are always 面白い👍🏼 As a foreigner who has lived in Japan for 30 yrs my suggestion to my fellow foreigners is: if you want to really enjoy living in Japan, then don’t expect to blend into the society and be accepted as “their own” because that might never happen. Living as a “gaikokujin” is very stress free👍🏼
Well said, that's so true
50_pips san
ありがとうございます！
bravo Mr Meshida you convinced us to not befriend japanese. you are very discouraging in your words. this just make me want to genralize every of your compatriots very negatively. i am sorry to say that.
Literally did this when I was in Japan this year. I spent years learning about the culture and "how to behave in Japan", but eventually using the gaijin pass in a bunch of situations really helped 😂
WHY WOULD WE DATE THEM IF THEYRE ALL TWOFACED
They are over rated and often have serious insecurities. If you befriend them, get ready to be always on the edge because they are super sensitive.
Just see how they censor themselves online💩💩💩
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
I was at a bar in Japan and was talking to a Japanese local man than knew really good English. I offered to buy him a drink and he politely didn't accept. At the end of the night I told him it was nice talking to him and he gave me a hug. Yes he gave me a hug I was so shocked I didn't really know how to take it. In America its normal but in Japan it really was an eye opener. Sometimes I guess people just need a hug.
Japanese people really need a big warm bear hug!! (And.. also therapy sessions forever.. 😂😂)
And yet they find it super weird that brazilians hug and kiss on the first meeting as a way of greeting. They'd not criticise it so much if they really wanted hugs
Meshida, that's so true. I've lived in Osaka for almost 5 years. I experienced all the things that you mentioned. I understand all those things are being the part of Japanese culture, and I respect it. I had a bit lonely life in Japan but I truly enjoyed every bit of it. Good job Meshida, foreigners should know the reality....
Thank you very much Meshida for this video ^^ I have friends in Japan whom I met at school here in Finland. We still chat in social media and send and recieve cards to each other.
Very simple. On the subway pick out your new friend, scream "KOKUHAKU"!!!', run at them and give them a bear-hug. You'll have a friend for life, trust me.
Not gonna lie, seriously considering starting a "Gaijin friendly for hire" service. I will make it friendly, convenient, and they will never have to worry about us calling them to hang out. They call and book an appointment suitable for them 👍......🤣😄
They have that it’s called english conversation case lol
I wanna become your friend right now! 'cause you're going to be too popular for it very soon after
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact , like if they still thinks they still lives during the isolated period of japan. very shameful during the 21th century. it's supposed to be a modern country , but people still have that middle age mindset and i dont understand why they recieve to of tourists.
i have enough of the japanese asking us to learn japanese without knowing our difficulties and they lack of forgiveness they would give us if we speak it poorly , and them pretenending they're good persons while in reality they only make gentle lies over over! don't date these people!
@@robertchandler2063so uh, where can I sign up for that? My English isn't that good but I don't think Japanese will notice it xD
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
Advice for making Japanese friends, from a Foreign Barbarian in Japan.
1. Join the same social circle. This could be something like a high school, or college sports club.
2. Offer help, if you can. Give your colleagues a hand, without asking. Respect+
3. If invited to something, dont refuse.
4. Look attractive. Japanese people are drawn to fair skin and blue eyes. If you a black dude, give up.
The last part - Emotional Damage
@@tsdfghjkl Thanks your comments is assuring.
@DarkMoonAngel49 I imagine that for Latin Americans too
Blacks should nigero from Japan.
Number 4 is not exclusive to the Japanese only, but also the rest of Asia especially those countries that were colonized by western powers back in the day.
Don't worry. Even Japanese people themselves Don't make Japanese friends 😂. That was hilarious 🤣
Meshida, your 10 tips are spot on!👍
Gaijin who complain they aren't treated like Japanese... clearly don't understand Japan...
Great video. Right on topic. I'd add the expression "Out of sight, out of mind". Once you leave Japan, your Japanese "friends" will soon forget about you, no matter how you try to continue to correspond with them. You're only "useful" to them when you are in Japan.
Thanks for the tips! But, nah, I prefer to be myself rather than pressuring myself just to befriend with them
I was in Hong Kong and in a trainf rom the airport. Suddenly, a group of Western tourists got on board and started yelling and people looked at them. They immediately shut up.
good story.
Thanks for the valuable information about Japanese culture. Although you present it in a funny way it's important to know when meeting Japanese.
essentially Japanese society is one big trauma bonding session.
New headcanon: Meshida-san actually speaks impeccable English with a posh British accent but purposefully hides his power level to make more friends.
Also, now I just imagine every Japanese person I ever talked to secretly thinking "I'm too sober to talk with this gaijin", which makes me a little sad....
Rush hour in Japan is 8pm. They aren’t lying when they say that they work too hard. It’s ridiculous. No wonder Japanese people don’t have friends and aren’t having babies, due to over work, they don’t have time.
your analysis may extend to the fact that Japan as a nation singlehandedly pays 20% of the UN budget. What country in that position (see also Germany) is not full of "hard working types"
Greatly appreciated, Meshida-Sensei!
Is not being in a club very popular in Japan? As a foreigner you could create an English + activity group. Then whenever you teach a phrase find out what the Japanese is for that phrase. You would learn Japanese and find people who share your interest in stealing women's underwear.
best plot twist
This video seems legit, I still don't have Japanese friends since I started learning Japanese in 2008.
Some people make friends there, others don’t. It’s different for everyone.
Mr Meshida, I want to be friend with you 😅🤣
I learned 😮a lot and laughed a lot.😂 Thank you!😊
This is probably one of the most difficult of things to navigate culture-to-culture. In Mainland China, it can be much easier to make closer friends if you are actually loud, bold, extroverted but fly over to Japan and they will be scared away. Go to Vietnam and again they may embrace you sooner if you're an outgoing enthusiastic type but drive over to Laos and you will scare them into hiding if you are the same sort of enthusiastic personality. This is also true in the Anglosphere to degrees and nuances. Canadians and Australians (and Americans too) will simply meet anywhere and immediately become friends, chat up a storm, share stuff BUT they will get halted in much of England where they tend to expect a kind of cold bubble and will get defensive if someone tries getting too close UNTIL, if you do warm up to them, if they unfreeze their shield, if you win them over slowly - you have a best friend for life until death. Brits tend to form exclusive but very loyal best friends and to death do they part.
If you take Mainland Chinas culture, it won't necessarily be that they don't easily accept 'foreigners' into a close friendship circle but it's that they form that early with their schoolmates and that circle they graduated in will be forever the circle of inside best friends but few outside that can ever enter that level of bonding and best friend loyalty and that would exclude some added friends later in life.
A Chinese spouse may very well consider the graduation circle of friends more important, closer and more loyal than their own spouse.
Maybe I should just make a video on this too. Just some thoughts.
Meshida-san, I'm hoping you can make a video about the Japanese way of thinking: day-to-day, dreams and aspirations. I think people would appreciate understanding more the Japanese perspective about life.
When are you going to write a book? I think that it would sell well.
You're honest, informative and funny enough.
the "enough" is a neg
おはよう！貴重なアドバイスをいただきまして誠にありがとうございました。秋に一人で札幌に行くのですが、日本語を話したいです。私には日本人の友達がいて、日本人の精神性について少し知っていますが、それがとても好きです。札幌で日本人に会ったら日本語で話します。私はカナダ人で、フランス語が母国語です。カナダからこんにちは。ディディエ
ありがとうございます！
日本人はいい人多いので、楽しんでください！
Maybe it happens to Japanese people in Tokyo only. Other prefecture Japanese people are more open towards foreigners.
Mr Meshida is a fine analyst and presenter of Japanese society. And his skill to express complex things in English is better than that of rather many native English speakers.
So insightful - thank you
Incredible... a very good insight into Japanese people's thoughts and culture.
Funny and useful video. Thanks❤
Meshida-San I have many Japanese friends after traveling a lot to japan since 2000. I have a core of close friends I'm close with in mainly Tokyo. Through them, I've met many other Japanese people and eventually became friends. It also helps that I speak Japanese. I also even attended a Japanese funeral and wedding this year for the first time.
😂 Not just Japanese people, every time when I hear someone says he/she is vegan, I roll my eyes.
😂
You are so interesting and funny! Please keep up the GREAT work!!
It's all about the lanuage. After a day of hard work, people just want to relax and have good conversations; not to practice a foreign language. Imagine someone in US who speaks very little English. Speaking fluently a foreign language often means understanding the culture well. It might take longer and extra efforts, but if one can converse fluently and respect other culture's difference, one can make local friends.
You become fluent by practicing at every possible opportunity, including after a hard day of work, tho. If I'm able to write this in English, it's largely thanks to me doing just that.
Lie Chan's part was great hahaha
When I was studying Japanese one of the most important things I learned was "社会人" (lit. "Society people"). It applies to 90% of the points you make in the video. Where in the west we value individualism, in Japan it's conformity. So, if you don't learn customs in addition to the language you will be ignored. There is another Japanese expression "出る杭は打たれる" (lit. "The stake that sticks out gets pounded down") that is commonly used for people who stand out or use bad manners. So if you are wondering why Japanese people won't accept friends who don't conform it has to do with 内外 (lit. The in-groups & out-groups) which is too long and complicated to explain but it would look bad on a typical Japanese person accepting someone as friend who is not 100% familiar Japanese customs. As a result they themselves could punished by other people they know for sticking their heads out.
Thanks 😊
You’re awesome Meshida !!
Knowing Japanese is the first requirement for having Japanese friends. Having good behavior also counts, in the sense of acting according to the moment, being funny at the right times and at other times taking things seriously. I hope to make new friends in Japan, I know most of the Japanese people in Brazil but I really want the opportunity to talk to natives
Awesome i'm glad you're back with another video
This guy knows what he's talking about. Not everyone might agree with everything he said but it depends on your own personal perspectives I guess. Still though, he's presenting it in a way that actually makes sense, telling the overall truth but not in a way that'll burst your bubble, you know?
Being a foreign student in Tsukuba for quite a long time now, this has actually been the most depressing video I've seen in these years living here. I'm so glad I have a ton of foreign friends to hang out with until I leave this sinking ship 🤣
That’s why us westerners get along with the Otaku and other really nerdy subcultures and dissidents the best instead of the corporate statist mainstream society. For me it’s people in the Otaku and history nerd subculture especially if they overlap like in Azur Lane. Or other Gacha games.
12:41 So, that's why my Japanese friend's uncle is always dying...
0:12 This, this right here underlines the whole issue perfectly! making Japanese friends is super easy, making real Japanese friends after they enter the job market, especially if they are applying for or are hired by a 一流会社 (first class company)
You should def. add to the list *11. Don't use sarcasm*
Man, you are a riot
So as a Finn Japan would be perfect. I don't like talking much and prefer being disturbingly quiet to a point where i'm often yelled at for being too quiet and avoid people groups like a mythical pokemon. While i spend more time trying to understand and read the room than trying to be assertive xD
बहुत पहले नहीं, जापान में भारतीय त्योहार होली के लिए एक उत्सव था और ऐसा लग रहा था कि जापानी लोग भारतीय होली उत्सव के दौरान टोक्यो में भारतीयों के साथ जश्न मना रहे थे, दिलचस्प
Thanks! I genuinely laughed at this. Have a beer on me. Kanpai, Meshida-san .. ;)
So first lines to learn in Japanese is : "Excuse, me. I don't know wtf you are saying. Have a good day. .. :| "
William san
Arigatooooo!!! I really appreciate it!!!
haha so true. Some of it reminds me when going out with my wife (Japanese) to some drinking places and get to talk with people somewhat around our age and she tries to make them befriend me and hang out at some point. Then exchange line and I'm like thinking "I don't think they actually want to lol, me neither" since probably no common interest and we are just drinking.
I understand she wants me to have friends here and it would be nice since the time difference makes it almost impossible to keep in touch with my friends in my home country, but it seems pretty much impossible.
I'm an introvert anyway and always have other interests I want to pursue on my own but I enjoy going out here way more than in my country and I understand I won't be making friends here for real and everyone is hiding what they think and "lie" to make the time just fun.
After living in Japan for nearly ten years the best advice I can give is accept you are an outsider and will never be fully accepted. However, that doesn’t mean you are a pariah, work on your language and cultural skills, recognize that you are a permanent guest and things are pretty good. I’ve also noticed a shift in recent years where more Japanese seem to be slightly more comfortable with foreigners.
I am Egyptian and I have been watching your videos and a lot of Japanese RUclipsrs. The more I watch, the more I realize how totally opposite Egypt and Japan are in everything. it makes me wonder if I can ever make a Japanese friend. When Japanese people are quiet, Egyptians are loud, when Japanese people are shy, Egyptians are more direct, when Japanese people have this collective mindset, Egyptians are unyielding (it’s because of our long history with invaders). In Japan, talking about politics & religion is taboo, whereas in Egypt it’s not (to be honest, it’s because our whole lives revolve around these two, even though I personally think it is one of Egypt’s main problems). But personally, I abhor talking about politics as nothing good ever comes out of it. I will only answer some questions about religion if someone asks me about it.
Although I do disagree with one thing and that is to deny a compliment and humble oneself. I have tried that most of my life and it has done me more damage than good. It turned me into a negative, self-deprecating person with no courage. If I get complimented, I simply say “Thank you”. I find this to be the best response.
Even within Egyptian standards, I come off as “too shy, introverted, and quiet”. Maybe to a Japanese person, that would still be too direct and loud. I also have very thick skin so I don’t care much if people are too blunt with me. I would rather they say exactly what they mean because I have a hard time reading between the lines. If it happens that I make a Japanese friend, then it’s fine, if not it’s also fine. Friendships shouldn’t be forced or rushed.
In summary - you have more probability to be struck by lightning than to make Japanese friends
or if you do make them, know that they are secretly afraid of getting struck by lightning as a result.
one reason why i just praised myself in school. (classmates, teacher never understood WHY i did this) i said that no one else would, all the time, and praise is a good motivator for help for good work.
(also, no one else knew why i was better than everyone else in school. )
my classmates caught onto this, and i started making more friends, but my teachers hated me (not understanding how i finished my classes faster.
These are the best videos on the Internet!!! They are so good! Thank you!
Thank you for your candor Mr Meshida! It was not only very interesting but quite informative and entertaining 😄
As a fan of Kitano Takeshi's humor and acting since the 90's (hana-bi, kikujirō, the violent cop series and Zatōichi are among my all-time classics), I can get an idea of the difference between North-American and Japanese humoristic sensibilities.
What is really friendship ? Is it showing a lot of emotions everyday to your friend? Sometimes i feel people have become a matter of fact with each other in some cultures.
I believe if you go to europe and particularly northern europe . Its very much like that. Although people arent polite , you wont feel warmth either everyday.
Japan is such nation. But they look entertaining to they attract people. But you dont understand its not a genuine leisurous romantic party nation for anime. Its all a show. Its a cultural performance.
Japan is about work achievment and performance.
Be professional useful and work hard in japan . I believe this increases trust but in the end japanese people work to live their happy life . You got to show you are truly long term reliable person in japan , you serve this country .
Japanese people have passion not when they relax . They have passion when they work. Be a professional person.
But stay polite . Be gentle calm yet motivated.
Japanese people make anime . Thats why you have anime. Japanese themselves are everyday busy doing ambitious stuff for a lifetime
Japanese friendship is actually intense partnership .
i always want to make friends with japanese people but not long ago i change my mind & i just want to visit Japan as a tourists to Osaka, Okinawa, Kyoto & Tokyo with only one Japanese friend ie. Meshida😃
Love this topic and the channel👍
Long time ago , a Japanese hafu fren told me the only way to be accepted in japanese society is to be born into it , and also born in japan not outside .
So no matter what all those Gaijin do at most they are tolerated and maybe a few are accepted as novelty . Guess all those Weebos are going to be for a shock. 🤣
Not saying whether it is a good or bad thing , just what i noticed.
Yo, that Harry Potter Joke got me good lol
This was a very useful video
I absolutely loved this video!!
It was funny, informative and very creative...I'm watching it again later! Thanks!!
Maybe the best way to make friends is to pick them from a group that's already willing to communicate and to understand with foreigners. This way I didn't have to deal with any Japanese who were not open minded.
I made a few Japanese penpals with Slowly and became close friends with two of them.
One visited last summer for a week (Germany and Belgium) and this year it's planned that she will be my "local tour guide" on a bike journey we're going to make together.
It's along the coastal bike paths, roughly from Kyoto to Hiroshima.
Fun fact: Whenever I tried to speak some Japanese, my friend praised the effort - and busted out laughing & told me to stick to English please 😂
Oh, I got invited by her Japanese colleagues and (sports) team mates too - but it was all tatemae. 🙄
😂 😂😂 Haven’t we learned anything on this train ride?? Your channel brings back good memories. どうもありがと買いました. Hope I said that right 😮 Anyway dai nama on me!
❤1970 growing up in Downey California. I meet Japanese American friends which are totally different from Japanese.
This was brilliant 😂
I think I’m turning Japanese- the 1980s song 😂
I really think so
The Vapors ruclips.net/video/nGy9uomagO4/видео.html
You are so funny and informative! Your explanation of Japanese culture is very much appreciated 🤣🤣🤣
I grew up in America, i don't even make American friends. I guess I'm still more comfortable with asian.. though we speak different languages but share similar culture
Thanks!
Arigato!!!
Meshida-san I hope you read this. Do you think it's ok to love the language and the cultural products of Japan (i.e. manga, anime, videogames) while not liking its social norms?
Even though I've been studying Japanese for two and a half years now, I'm really not a fan of suppressing one's feelings while trying to be a psychic to guess everyone's feelings. It's like the more I know about Japan the country, the happier I feel that I'm not a Japanese. What do you think?
You're not the only one feeling this way. Learning Japanese since 2018 till now, learning to Advanced level. Lived in Japan too till last year. From what I observed & experienced, 90% of what Meshida-san said in this video is true (the 10% part: to speak English or Japanese with the Japanese. I haven't figured out yet if I should spare the Japanese embarrassment, by talking to them in Japanese first...or I should speak English with them first to gauge their interest in practicing English with me). I feel sad for the Japanese too, that they have these social problems that we Western-minded foreigners find it frustrating. However, what I know is this: the Japanese close to you, like your own work colleagues, if something about you is bothering them a lot, they will talk behind your back. They will avoid looking at you when one of them or the work boss above you all, tells you upfront in full honesty, no punches hold back about your mistake(s). I experienced this when I started working in a Japanese supermarket before, when I wasn't working like-minded like them at the beginning. They have a certain rhythm & speed when working that makes the Japanese famously efficient. The Japanese who are just your acquaintances, you can only talk shallow stuff & greetings with them. If you want to talk deep topics with the Japanese you rarely meet, just forget it & give up. Talking with other wiser foreigners, therapists or unloading it all to your journal/diary are waaaaaaay better options. As a summary, it is ok to love the Japanese language & its culture. Now that you, I & other foreigners living in Japan are aware by now the Japanese social problems, the best you can do is try make peace & accept their weaknesses. Nothing in this world, not even Japan, is perfectly flawless.
Yep same here. All of this culture around making Japanese friends just seems like bad mental health to me.
Your feelings and emotions are not something to be ashamed of.
I wonder what it's like to be a psychologist / therapist in Japan
@@rebeccaliew2247 so pleased to have read these comments. I appreciate how difficult it is to learn a new language and the same issues of learning vocabulary and grammar without learning to vocalise it is hard work.
Saying that the trip to Hakone today will be interesting. I have found that the Japanese do well at being able to point and indicate how many with fingers if they are not sure.
worldwide people should fears more the japanese than giving them a praise they don't deserve because of their overabusive tatemae culture. even most people in my country show a little of their honne instead of always acting nice.
i like their products and how their country looks, but the persons themselves are just like waste of time to interact
I feel exactly the same. Maybe because of I born and raised in Hong Kong, I can easily accept the feeling of loving the language and the cultural products of Japan but don't like their lifestyle. Many Hong Kongers often say, "Japan is for fun(travel/visit), but not for living(in it)".
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have feel about Japan.
Let me be brutally honest with you, I live in the States over two decades, there are many things and culture of America I don't like, but I certain love living in America. Americans are friendly, generous, respectful. (of course, generally speaking, not all) It's easy to make money here. (land of opportunity is not fictional) I lover driving, so cheap to own a car(s) is a big plus for me. Houses are spacious, especially compare to HK, and many more reasons I love living in America.
But at the same time, I never really got into American pop culture. I don't enjoy American foods very much. I don't like muscle cars, football, country music, rap... etc.
You see what I mean? Whatever you feel for Japan is very understandable. It almost same as how I feel about America, but just the other way around...
this is so self aware and funny
Point 4 is a bit difficult as everyone has their own preferences and things they can/can't do.
i was in japan a few days ago and inside the Ginza line, i remember hearing these japanese people who speak pretty loudly inside the train. Furthermore, a few weeks back i was also in Sapporo and i hear people pretty much yelling happily at the streets!
oumaigaaa
As a foreigner living in Japan for 7 years, I can attest to this, alas.
Very nice video 👍
Number 8 is also a thing in America. Especially at large family gatherings, every family has that one relative that will start talking about politics. Even though nobody wants to talk about it.
Generally in conversations, most Americans agree to not bring up politics.
But there's always someone that wants to do it.
My earliest "pulls" or attraction to Japan are Voltes V, Hikari Sentai Maskman, Choudenshi Bioman, Space Sheriff Shaider and Kamen Rider Black.
Years later, Ultraman.
Late 90s up until now, anime and manga.
It is a mixture of awe, fascination, and a bit of disheartening/disappointment.
Truth hurts, and I appreciate the brutal honesty.
With all sincerity, I admire and respect Japanese language, culture, and your model of hardwork and ingenuity.
Oh, add J-Pop.
I choose J-Pop anytime over K-Pop and its cultural impact.
May I really learn your language as one of ways to express appreciation and gratitude on how your culture has influenced more than half of my life.
Thank you for this video😊
This is so funny! Thank you for all these useful tips! ;)
I find these videos very funny because I'm living in Finland and I feel like our countries are a bit similar in some things :D
ありがとうございました。
Dear foreigners, if you see someone like Ken san. Run! 🤣🤣🤣
oh so that's the trick!
This is gold!