I was left with a whole house of family heirlooms when my father passed away ten years ago. I asked my two children, 19 yrs and 23 years old at the time, if they would like anything to remember grandpa by. My daughter took a small metal eagle figurine she said reminded her of her grandpa and my son didn't want anything. So, I've kept the things I enjoy and can use and have donated,recycled or trashed the rest. I think of myself as a "filter" from my dad's generation to my children's generation.
I have told my children that it is not their job to curate the museum of mom and dad. My mother left instructions on several items that included the instructions ‘Don’t get rid of…..’, but due to the exigencies of time and space I have disobeyed. A further aid has been my manner of culling. I look at an item and say to myself: ‘If I dropped dead tomorrow, what would become of this.’ That question has permitted me to part with many items.
I'm 71 and don't want saddled with family items. Now my Mother loves her memory items and appears to think I should love them too. Sister and brother likes the stuff too.
I wouldn't mind a storage unit if I needed to leave out of the country and would hate to rebuy everything. Then again... I hate storage units so it might all just be sold and I will carry my favorite handmade cookie jar that my dad had as a bachelor and everywhere we moved that cookie jar was with us. So I would take my clothes, pictures, important docs and my heirloom cookie jar that my dad was donating and I freaked because it was important to me. Of course I would fill it with cookies though:)
My parents have all these things they want me to hold onto.... no idea what I'm going to do with them hopefully won't have to deal with it more many many years
This was such an eye-opener for me. What Joshua said about depriving ourselves temporarily, in order to figure out what is truly valuable to us, that was a light-bulb moment for me. My late parents were both incurable collectors, and it's been tough for my brother and I to part with things they worked so hard to havr and enjoyed so much. BUT, it's easier for me now, because I have slowly realized that neither my mom or dad would want me to keep things out of a sense of obligation. They wouldn't want that for us. And also donating a lot of their things to people who will actually use them makes it feel like I'm honouring my folks, rather than feeling guilty for not keeping a shrine of hundreds of their items. P.S. You two are brilliant, as in visionary-level brilliant! Just read the first book. Money is tight, so I haven't subscribed to Patreon yet, but that is my plan for the very start of 2023!
I was left with a whole house of family heirlooms when my father passed away ten years ago. I asked my two children, 19 yrs and 23 years old at the time, if they would like anything to remember grandpa by. My daughter took a small metal eagle figurine she said reminded her of her grandpa and my son didn't want anything. So, I've kept the things I enjoy and can use and have donated,recycled or trashed the rest. I think of myself as a "filter" from my dad's generation to my children's generation.
My Grandmother was my precious heirloom.
Yes. That is a wonderful way to think.
I have told my children that it is not their job to curate the museum of mom and dad. My mother left instructions on several items that included the instructions ‘Don’t get rid of…..’, but due to the exigencies of time and space I have disobeyed. A further aid has been my manner of culling. I look at an item and say to myself: ‘If I dropped dead tomorrow, what would become of this.’ That question has permitted me to part with many items.
I'm 71 and don't want saddled with family items. Now my Mother loves her memory items and appears to think I should love them too. Sister and brother likes the stuff too.
I wouldn't mind a storage unit if I needed to leave out of the country and would hate to rebuy everything. Then again... I hate storage units so it might all just be sold and I will carry my favorite handmade cookie jar that my dad had as a bachelor and everywhere we moved that cookie jar was with us. So I would take my clothes, pictures, important docs and my heirloom cookie jar that my dad was donating and I freaked because it was important to me. Of course I would fill it with cookies though:)
Because the cookie jar is important to you I'm glad you have it.
@Deirdre Morris Thank you I should, in case it breaks. Great idea, thank you.
My parents have all these things they want me to hold onto.... no idea what I'm going to do with them hopefully won't have to deal with it more many many years
If they are absolutely insistent about you taking it- I would just accept it graciously and than donate it. They don't need to know.
What does storage unit have to do with it? Does a ring count? What is your heritage?
Correlation.
This was such an eye-opener for me. What Joshua said about depriving ourselves temporarily, in order to figure out what is truly valuable to us, that was a light-bulb moment for me.
My late parents were both incurable collectors, and it's been tough for my brother and I to part with things they worked so hard to havr and enjoyed so much. BUT, it's easier for me now, because I have slowly realized that neither my mom or dad would want me to keep things out of a sense of obligation. They wouldn't want that for us. And also donating a lot of their things to people who will actually use them makes it feel like I'm honouring my folks, rather than feeling guilty for not keeping a shrine of hundreds of their items.
P.S. You two are brilliant, as in visionary-level brilliant!
Just read the first book. Money is tight, so I haven't subscribed to Patreon yet, but that is my plan for the very start of 2023!
No one gets to use it
My memories and experiences are the heirloom not stuff; I never need heirlooms to appreciate somone.