Real Talk About Relationships: Being Single
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Do you have people in your life that are constantly asking “why are you still single?” Are you about one fake nod and smile away from replying “because God isn’t in the business of delivering good men via Amazon Prime”? If so, this single-ladies’ chat with a few of my friends may be for you!
Join me along with four dynamic women as we have a hilariously transparent heart-to-heart and engage in “real-talk” about being unmarried. We have an honest “no-holds-barred” conversation covering:
-Boundaries in dating
-Real talk about celibacy
-How to be single and fulfilled
-Being over 30 and unmarried
-Relational contentment
Many single Christian women struggle with godly relationships because no one will be real about walking the word of God out in the day to day. Thank you for this forum and for be authentic.
That was awesome. Thank you ladies!!
Calvonia Radford no one is really Honest
Yep! It's challenging to find true followers of CHRIST that really want and desire to live for CHRIST. Just because they attend the same church or say they're Christian doesn't mean anything. Character and Lifestyle Matters Most.
I loveeeeee when the ladies said, “well God if singleness is what you have for my life then I’m need for you to change something on the inside of me” I love that because to that was soooooooooo REALISTIC and I believe God truly honor that kind of HONESTY❤️
So real!!!
I noticed some comments stating how unrealistic this conversation was. What I took away from it is the importance of your church home. It seems like there is a strong group of single women in the congregation and that they have a voice and a presence within the church. I have single friends and we have had conversations similar to this. We have our moments when we are SO THANKFUL to be single and then we have our moments when our hearts ache to be married. I think the conversation was real and mature but also one facet of how conversations among single Christian women can take place.
I think some women were holding back about the sex part but let's be honest, who want to share truth on a video that will out live you or better yet maybe be used against you?! I use to struggle at night maybe once or twice a month. Yes, I give in to flesh (alone). I tried listening to the word as I sleep, I tried getting up to watch youtube. It worked most times but if I'm honest, it's a process changing your way of thinking/battling with flesh. I went through a phase of asking God to forgive me. Then I said girl, you can't keep doing this (even if it's once or twice a month). So this time around, I got more serious with studying the word. I know that sound corny but I am telling the truth. The stories are fascinating.I don't watch certain shows anymore, only gospel music, I stop listening to certain podcast. Yeah, I had to do a cleansing. I'm a lot stronger now. I totally get why some christians get married super young especially if you're a guy. I'm a woman struggling from time to time so I know men are having a hard time but I digress. My strategy now is if I have the urge, I just get up and start praying. An alter is key. Studying the word is key. Not watching certain shows/music is key. Corny but it's what I have to do. My daily goal is to cling to God. Thanks for reading.
As this was a year ago, I would love to know where these women are today.
Great listen
Me too
Samesies.And if they did marry, what have they learned since then.Nobody better hate on them either lol and bring new single women -although 2 yrs have passed, the dating/singlehood climate has changed a bit
So grateful for this chat! Thank you for tackling tough topics! I'm 37 & never married, in love with Jesus, but culture tends to make us feel less than if we don't fit the mould!
I love the statement whether Married or Single there's always something wrong with you. Haha let's appreciate eachothers season of life ladies families, fellow believers etc
I'm 46 year old single and I really enjoyed this video! I will continue to be hopeful and trust my "relationship status" with the Lord, because He knows what's best for me.
Hi let talk on Hangout. Am single too please
Send me your Hangout address please
Thank you for your transparency and practical examples. God bless you all. 🙏
I can say in all truth that I love being single. It has some perks and it’s less work. I desire marriage but I don’t think I’ll question God or doubt my value if I don’t get married.
But I want to be .... I had to learn what it required and ask myself if that was really what I wanted to do.
This was absolutely helpful! I'm so grateful for this video because I'm experiencing some of the same things as of now! Thank you beautiful ladies for your encouragement!
This is a wonderful video!!! A great group of real godly woman to look up to. Bless you all.
I feel like we should be honest with God, Luke 18 talks about the woman that didn't stop asking the wicked King to deliver her and eventually he gave in even tho he was a wicked King. I believe the scriptures tell us to ask and keep on asking why pretend you are ok when deep down your longing for companions? You don't have to be obsessed with desiring marriage but you must make your requests known to God.
I know for myself that I am sincerely content being single after years of desperately wanting to be married and wanting children. I think there are alot of single women like myself and we don't usually get a platform to share the gifts of being single and being childless. Again, I couldn't imagine my younger self saying this. Here's a corny poem that I wrote when I was younger, " God, If there's a man for me, please let me see, and if not, please let it not be not...please!"
@@donnatate6327 that's beautiful Donna. I thank you for your spirit your peaceful words are lovely and comforting. I do agree there are beautiful things about being single, it just takes time to discover them if you are in a place in your life where you lack inner peace and love. I like my single life because I'm use to travelling and I know how to enjoy my space and times of retreat but I also desire marriage because I would like to share my life with someone but it's not the end of the world if it never happens life is good, life is what we make it, I like my life. But I hope someone struggling with single life will see your comment and be comforted and strengthened x
Yes
This was real talk-enjoyed it. Thanks 👌🏽
Me and my ex fiancé would not even see each other if we felt that way and if we were together and one of us felt the heat, we would go out separate ways....
I respect him to this day for respecting me !
I do not feel that these women were being pretentious. I do believe that most of them were coming from the same perspective in there singleness. Perhaps it would have been best to preselect a panel for a discussing such as this based upon four women coming from four different perspectives in their singleness. Such as: “The Single as Satisfied ,” “The Mostly Content,” “The Discouraged,” and “The One Desperately Hanging on by a Prayer .” 😄 Just because their story is not yours does not mean that they are not “being real“. I believe this video touched someone somewhere 🙏🏾and if this video is not for you there are thousands of other Christian videos on being single that can perhaps speak to your situation , pick one. ☺️God bless.❤️😇🙏🏾🙌🏾
Chrystal, this was such a blessing! It was legit and down to earth. I pray that you do another one soon😊. I definitely applaud you for this conversation. As a born again believer, I could totally relate to the conversation. God Bless You!
Priorities and self worth is the issue and we need to find the root of why those are issues..... and most don’t want to do that.... That’s “the work” that we must do.
What about US who married after 30, I just got married again at 50! We want to share 😃
Would love to hear your story 💕
Such a great conversation! It helped me a ton. I'm single again, after a divorce and in full time ministry in South Africa and I would love to hear and talk about being single AGAIN.. Finding wholeness after a marriage ends and managing it all.
Great job!
I don’t particularly like to have male guests unless it’s a group thing period! We can be alone but in public . Or in a room at a family or friends house I’m ok but not alone in my home or his!
I never thought I say this but same here. FYI I'm a woman.
That was awesome. Thank you Ladies!!
Singleness and Marriage is a Choice. There isn't a scripture that says wait on Marriage. This is why many especially women are still single. This conversation never happens with single men and it is for them to seek out a wife. If men aren't encouraged by the Church to get married then women will remain single. This is where most congregations miss it. It is to choose wisely. Know what you will and will not negotiate. Set realistic Boundaries and Standards and stick with it. Be open to all cultures, heights, sizes. The outer appearance has nothing to do with knowing the whole person. You're Marrying the whole person not a look. Use wisdom and discernment.
I would have to disagree with it being a choice.I have been waiting to meet a godly man that I like (and likes me at the same time) for years and sometimes God shuts the door for a reason or a season. God is in control.
@@steflondon88 Hi Steffany, Please allow me to give an example: GOD has given us a Free Will to Choose. Choose what's Good or Not Good. Life is full of daily Choices. Each time we choose to date a Guy we can also Choose to Marry him or Not. When we say, "Yes!" We say Yes to Marriage. When we say, "No!" We say No to Marriage and Choose to Stay Unmarried until we Meet the Guy we want to Marry. To be Married or Not Married isn't Forced upon us by GOD. I hope this helps. Blessings!
This was eye opening. I wonder what single guys think about their singleness
Thank you for this! I have had concerns about my entire adult life not really needing anyone-being self-sufficient and healthy-and that I might be giving off a vibe or something warding off available men that like being men/leaders that I happen to find attractive, etc. I had always thought of buying my first home with my husband, and finally when realizing that 1-God was not providing that man on into my 40's and 2-renting was a bad investment especially when I had decent credit, I bought a little place. Now I am looking into other areas that I kind of had on hold in the back of my mind because of an idealized version of how it should play out ... with mythical husband ;). It's hard accepting and letting go of in various ways the life I had hoped I would have. God can do anything-I don't want to negate His ability to change a dream or fulfill the old one. Fulfillment isn't found in anyone except Christ and for me specifically regarding the desire for a strong marriage that has been challenging to my spirit to not just say but to really look at where my mind spends time in that regard. Anyway, it's nice to hear more from singles about being Christian singles at a certain age.
Thank you for this it truly bless my heart to know there are other holding fast just like me and are dining of the things I am doing to stay standing. Thanks sister in the Lord.
I love this. I'm 31 single and still a virgin. The struggle is so real because of the expectation of people around me and the fact that being a virgin at my age is not the norm. I always wonder if there's other people that's received the same comments that I do. That would be great conversation to have.
Hold on to your virginity it's a gift to your husband. God will give the right man in his own time enjoy your life. I wish I was a virgin - but I wasn't a Christian then. I have been celibate for over 2 decades, not been in a relationship either. I thank God for keeping me this far I'm 52 and waiting on the Lord but enjoying the journey.
I'm 46 and divorce my desire to be a wife has changed. I wrestled with God and he changed me. Lol strong desires doesn't work with lord. I surrender my desire daily to him. I reflect on the word- I'm the lord your God who teaches you what is best and direct you in the way you should go. I can now accept the lord answer to pray request. I can keep moving forward by faith. All is well!
This video is not for everyone, but it was definitely for me. I appreciate the realness. At the end of the day we are human, with desires, temptations, and challenges. Yet those things don't have to keep us from living a full life as single Christian women. Thank you ladies for the encouragement!
I am going to be turning 70 this coming June and I am single. I would like to meet a nice Christian, godly man, but most of the men that live where I live are like really old men - like my grandfather. So, I wonder, Lord, when will it be my turn?
This is so true. We have to put our focus on God. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship but that shouldn't be our focus. We have to ask God to prepare us for the man He has for us. We have to also be OK with not getting married if that is the plan. Maybe these are the conversations we should be having with our single friends.
At 55, I'm Loving the single life. Being a divorcee for 18 years. I've really enjoyed this conversation group here. Ladies blessings to all of you. God will give us the desires of our hearts, be patient and wait on the Lord. 😍
Hello
Beautiful woman
"I put nothing passed my flesh."
Come on and testify! LOL!
Y'all better testify about these boundaries.
I believe in praying at the beginning. Listen, I tell God... "I'll give this 2 weeks. But, uh, let me know if this yay or nay."
I believe in quarantine. When hormones do what they do, you cut off the gates.
I realized even though I gave up somethings for periods of times I hadn't made the time with God consistent and intentional to believe and know God is enough. Receiving Gods promises and blessings and still know he is still enough. What he has for us is for us, yet we need to put in the work in every season of our lives. Great episode, God bless you all.
Congratulations! There are men out there that could marry any one of these women. Leave the door open, in your mind, so that when he walks by you will recognize him and engage. No need to be aloof. Only for those who know deep down that they still strongly desire marriage, which I think is the default position and trying to fight it is harder than warming up to it. Also, it better be a man that qualifies to be with you, not just anyone. Give him a chance, be open, speak openly, set your requirements, conditions and standards. Once you think it's a go, inform him and continue to apply yourself as a wife, not a single woman. The woman gets to say if it's a go or not. He hits the 'gas', you are the 'brakes' so that you're both moving at a safe clip. Open up, talk... give him data to work with... your likes, dislikes, deal breakers, hold your ground... because he has a decision to make. If you play too much on the defensive and self preservation, as opposed to offensive play, as in pro-active, what's the next positive step, then progress can be hindered. With a super defensive stance, he can't make a decision and pick you. You CANNOT pick him, he picks you. Be nimble, versatile, embrace the flow. Guys are simple, you've heard it said. Don't complicate things. Present yourself positively and be that positive person. Everything is not always bad, it's all in how you look at it, half full or half empty. Your choice. The 'marriage' starts before the wedding, without some marital benefits, but the relating, the respecting, the honoring, some providing, the reliability. It's a test run. As a woman, ask yourself, what's his program? Can I get on it? Can I respect him? Is he reliable, hard working, respectful, does he keep his promises? Does he share? He's not going be perfect because neither are you, can you work with him, because he's going to HAVE to work with you. A lot to say, but, yeah. All the best.
Tysm for sharing..blessings.
There she goes, asking the pointed questions!!
🙌🏾
Thank you ladies for being so open! And for your wisdom.
Lol don’t go on dating apps 😅😅! #BeenThereDoneThat😂
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm divorced, but still desire to be married
This segment was really good to listen to. I appreciate the authenticity and honesty with all the women in this discussion. We as single women need to hear more open and honest discussions such as this as it is an encouragement. Thank you!!
THANK YOU for not only including singles, but valuing some of our real needs and acknowledging our place in the Kingdom! We are whole people, very willing and able to contribute as much as, if not more than, married people.
Thank you ladies for being transparent by sharing your walk as a single day by day. I have been single for almost four years. I am intentional as to what allow myself to listen to and watch. I surround myself with Godly women who I can be accountable to, and we pray for one another.
I am also almost 46 years old. I am enjoying this season of my life as a single
I am 60 and am so grateful to be single/never married and have no kids. When I was young I desperately wanted to have a husband and a gazillion children but I can't imagine being married now. I love being alone.
Hi Donna am single
God will reveal it all but we are professional ignorers lol
Yes be present in the Today! Jesus Always knows Best! Always Enjoy the LORD ✝️🙏🏽. #ContentInJesus
Learn to push pass the uncomfortable & disappointments ✝️🙌🏾
Remember as single we are whole and not lacking
Wait for The Lord and in The Lord
Surround yourself with Godly Women
Be Intentional and go forward. ✝️🙏🏽
Be Encouraged Singles and Married.
Thank you Ladies Enjoyed the convo God Strength ✝️🙏🏽
I Love how Chrystal handled the chat!!! I'm an observer of body language... observing the ladies and listening to their responses.. makes me wonder
You ladies are all brilliant! There’s nothing wrong with you ladies, what is wrong with the men? 😉
Thank you ladies! I was tremendously blessed and encouraged listening to you all speak with such honesty and godliness. Crystal, thank you for the inspiration!
I'm 35 years old, no kids and still single, but trusting God for a husband if it is within His plans for my life. Some moments I'm good with being single, and other days, I have heart to heart conversations with God, especially about Him removing the desire if this is not in line with His plans for me; I'll be honest though, those conversations are hard - still learning to yield to His will, even if it's hard. Although I believe that there is nothing wrong with being single, I really do wish that when single people express their desire to get married, married folk would stop talking about marriage as if it's this horrible creature that is only reserved for the strong and courageous. I believe marriage is a gift from God and He gives it to whomever He wills, so stop scaring people off of marriage. That's not godly! Loved the video and the transparency...oh yes, stop asking us when we're going to get married 🤦🏾♀️
Wow! I Had a good time watching this!!😄 plus I learnt so much. I even had to take notes. Thanks Ladies for sharing!!! God bless you! ❤❤❤❤❤ @Nigeria
The singleness issues is quite different when coupled with the desire / ability / age related reality of having children. Add to that the circumstances of friends and family who are married &/or have children. Some years are harder than others.
Please continue these honest conversations! Crystal you ask such real questions, causing guest to dig deeper. Thank you
Ladies,iam an older woman,and I went through something's,that taught me a lot,but now that iam a single woman with wisdom in a relationship,he has to be respectful Caring,and we have to be willing to listen to each other.if there is a difference in looks or shapes,and the inner person is not who you through they were,what then,?
I have a feeling that many of these ladies are going to get approached by interested brother's, please keep us updated; personally I have officially given up this train left the station for moi, praying for you all
Don't give up, if it's something you really would like to happen. I am still holding out hope I'm going to meet my husband very soon. I'm 3 years late in replying to this conversation, but I'd be interested to know if anything has changed within these 3 years. 🙂🙃
I like what the ladies shared. I think it is good for women of all ages. We should see the positive side to each stage of our lives and how to maximize the stage of singleness. #itsnotacursetobesingle
At age 44 I tend to ebb and flow when it comes to desiring a spouse. I have had many times where I have said, "I thought surely by now.." I am very active in my calling in ministry at my church, and I am a single parent of a teen, however in my quiet moments I find myself thinking or praying to God for some physical help in my everyday home life- e.g. a spouse. The funny thing is that I am well aware in a lot of cases I would be called on more to help a spouse as apposed to my mental picture of having a spouse help me. That's where I do appreciate being single- (No shade to the good guys out there.) I pour out from my heart consistently & I do have dear sisters that I try to keep touch with, but literally all of them even in our small church are married, or they are not saved, in that case, I minister if the LORD dictates and allows, but I do not hang when they are partaking in what God has moved me away from. It has been hard letting go of that childhood dream of just being a good wife, & mother- that was the only thing specifically that I saw myself doing as a grown up.
I understand. Believe it or not. Married women have to let childhood expectations go too ;) Marriage isn’t better. Just different.
Soaring Davis, words spoken truer from one single Mom to another 🙌🏾
Thanks for sharing
Just tell the truth to God how you feel and the truth will set you free!
Yes!! We are whole!! I have a whole theory about that. I hate the quote “you complete me!” Lol
praise God for the discussion; 3 years later i still deal with this at 60 years old
Would love to see the men who pick these women🤷🤷😂
He needs to be...
1. Uber loving
2. I love a sense of humor
3. Responsible/accountable
What I give is...
1. I am supportive (cheerleader & assistant) 🤗
2. I work hard
3. Loving
This is incredibly awesome!Remain ready to receive what the Lord has in store for you.Be whole as you await for the package the Lord is bringing your way.Sorrow last for a night but joy comes in the morning!Enjoy!
I am surprised more women said "Happily single". Oh Lord Jesus take me there.
I enjoyed this.. i would love a follow up with the same ladies...
My contentment comes from experiencing discontent in past relationships. Now knowing that the peace of God surpasses my understanding.
Thanks for making the video it was very relatable. I am 39 no kids never married I desire a husband and to become a mother and sometime I enjoy being single
Yes... Change the desire
New here. ( Next time) These ladies need a table. Just a suggestion. Alright, I am going back to get the message.
This blessed me so much
Very informative and needed conversation. Really appreciated the transparency of the ladies.
Today...that is honest. It fluctuates. 32year old petspective.
I am loving these conversations. You have the ability to make me feel like I am a part of the conversation.
I’m touchy so that why public is better. Smh.... it’s my dads fault! Lmbo 🤗😍
#thingssinglewomensay. I was very disappointed with this podcast. It came off as prudish and pretentious. This is NOT the conversation single women are having with each other, this is the whitewashed version of anything you say can be used against you. This was an attempt to not look desperate. It's ok to be single and want a man. This was so cliche and "made for television."
Stephanie I'm not single but I agree. I have single friends and this is not what they are saying. And they are all saved!
Shantel Hogan I am a 36 y/o saved single and you are right, even amongst my saved friends this is NOT the discussion we are having. I love reading body language and even the body language was off. It is was tense and restrained, like "I have to appear prim and proper, I have to appear prim and proper." I normally love Hurst, but this came off self righteous and I know that wasn't the intent. Please everyone tell Hurst to contact me for a podcast with a vibrantly REAL, saved, celibate woman, navigating the dating battlefield. We ain't landscaping over here and I STILL listen to trap music. #FACTS 😂
Stephanie 😂😂 I guess the problem for me was that these women came from her church so of course they aren't going to have real girlfriend chat. Or maybe it was the setting with them filming at church...idk! But I love Chrystal! I think it was more so her guests that dropped the ball on this one because you could tell Chrystal was trying to get them to be real. I don't fault Chrystal she did her best to ask the right questions to get them to open up.
Shantel Hogan I think you are right, plus the ladies didn't seem to have a great rapport with one another so they were NOT trying to have the others "in their business." Body language doesn't deceive lol, I even saw some side eyes. 😂🤣😂🤣 My concern is that I don't want 20-somethings to be disillusioned into thinking they should feel like 8-10's about their singledom. That is unrealistic, but I complete understand where she was TRYING to go.
Quick Question plzz...what are the real things single women are talking about??
Thank you so much for this. It gave me so much insight that I so muchly needed.
Hey and the truth is!!!’ Lol
Love the one sitting next to crystal, she is the most transparent
Thanks for sharing ladies. May God grant you all the desires of your hearts xo
Wow I was blessed. I needed this. Thank you!!!!!
Know thyself- can’t touch this! Lol
This is edifying. Thank you for the video.
How do you like start over this process?
Thank you for your honesty! I can relate to you all, again thank you!
Awesome, Thank You Ladies!
Ladies your transparency is definitely appreciated. 👑God bless you all. I resonate most with the two ladies sitting close to the speaker 🤭but, am thankful for some of the other's perspectives as well. Being 40 I'm now grateful 🙌for the level of growth and honestly, now see that getting to this point in life was necessary because I would not have been ready for marriage 3 years ago. Today I am filled with joy though, I still desire my family(feelings fluctuate)Thank you thank you thank you 😇
Emerald!!! I love you Sis!
Loved this conversation!!
Yes Emerald!!!!! That’s it sis!
DEFINITELY a work in progress💪🏾❤️
Chrystal!!!!!!! Lol 😂
Yes Emerald!! Agree!
Great job!
No
great video!!!!!!!
Yup!
Hahahahahahahaha HGTV !!
❤
❤️
🤪🤪
I had to pause this video because I've noticed something. All of these women talk about this perfect man like the perfect man existed. The only perfect man I know is JESUS...and he's God.
But when it comes to these women, I wonder do they think they are perfect? All human beings are flawed. We all have something bad and something good about us all.why laughs when it comes to low rating men who have flaws, all men have some kind of flaw about them.
That's why I don't want to get married. People don't marry for love, they marry if he's fine,or if he's rich, or if he is something unhumanly possibly for some to be.I wish you all the best in finding your perfect superhuman man. I got to go.
You need to seek God and his kingdom and everything else will come on