'Melia G. I think the guy just didn't like the fact that the fig tree didn't have any damn fruit ripe when he was hungry. Everyone else probably thought it was funny and wrote it down. Of course, I kinda think that way to make me chuckle every now and then when I am not having a good day.
I think the meaning behind that was a bit deeper. Jesus spent 3 years healing and even resurrecting people, but he was far from the 'little defenseless good guy'. By killing the fig tree he wanted to communicate that he can take a life as well with one simple word. Otherwise people would think that he is weak and was crucified despite his will. This means that Jesus could have killed all the Romans and Jews, yet he allowed them to crucify him so the prophecy would be fulfilled. That's a complex topic but yeah, I think that it is something way more than just him getting mad at a tree :)
+screw this. The concubine was already dead, actually. Her lover cut up her body and sent it to the tribes to horrify them as to the nature of the men where the concubine died.
Im a Christian but yes, when God or Elijah(i think?) sent the bear after the kids when they made fun of elijahs baldness, I kinda just... my heart sunk and I was like "oh"
One of the Satiric ones was actually in the bible, the pillaging thing but without the cronies at the end, I'm almost certain that's somewhere in the old testament.
+Prompted Hawk Me too, I am convinced I have read it somewhere. But I could be wrong, the last time I have actually actively read the bible was 4 years ago...
"If your right eye causes you to sin, put it out and throw it away..." because it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven blind than not at all (second half not an exact quote). It's vivid imagery.
I was thinking about the disciple line from 5:06, and how Dave thought that the line was satiric because Jesus wanted everyone to love each other. It came to me that that was the reason why Jesus would say something like that line. He's basically saying that, "If there is a man who doesn't hate anyone, then that man can't be my disciple." Jesus was saying that if there was a man who didn't hate anyone (otherwise meaning he loved everyone), he would have nothing to teach that man.
It was not or, it was and, it's not saying someone who didn't hate anyone it's someone who didn't hate everyone. I think the correct interpretation is that compared to the love you must feel for God you hate everyone else, just like Abraham who was willing to kill his son because God told him to.
I interpreted it as if you hold on to worldly things and people you cannot accept what Jesus has to teach you. You must first realise and accept that you are sinful and everyone and everything from this material world is sinful and gets in the way of us and god. Once you realise this you can take the message in and strive for a better way of life free of sin modelling Jesus. You can't accept forgiveness if you don't think you've done anything wrong.
Jesus spoke in parable all the time. The "gouge your eye out and throw it away" thing was a metaphor. It just means that if there's something in your life like a toxic habit, an addiction, or something that constantly causes you to stumble, cut it out of your life. Cut out the habit or the source of temptation. I'm not sure what it says about your critical thinking skills if you really think Jesus wanted a bunch of disciples wearing eyepatches :P
denman wolftamer although yes, i was more specifically referring to the game "the binding of isaac" where one character, cain, is wearing an eye-patch.
2:33 - I knew this one was fake, because women and children were never treated separately - they were either all captured or all slaughtered. "Cronies" was a giveaway, too.
I am a Christian but I don't know what to think of this. Many phrases used can be very misleading when not taken in context. BTW the proverbs an psalms from the scriptures have a unique form of poetry that makes two synonymous parallels. It is the only form of poetry that can be translated between virtually every language because it doesn't rely on the sound of the words, instead it relies on their meaning.
There not poems there proverbs. There are other proverbs which aren't from the bible. For instance "never look a gifthorce in the mouth" and a popular russian proverb "a smile without reason is a sign of idiocy"
yeah I'm not religious but most people know what a bible is... whether it's from school, or from you know, passing a church on the street and seeing a bible sale, if you don't know what a bible is then your probably very out of it...
I love how there's a bunch of anti religion comments, when 1: A ton of these are made up 2: They wanted to have fun with this 3: Most of the things they said were much worse than what the bible says I'm a Christian, yet I enjoyed this video, and am going to watch some of the others
Yeah they have a bunch of fun basically saying the things god did were unjust. I'm just wonder as a Christian you say you are, why did you enjoy a video by people basically makeing up things that a horrible to see if god commanded/said.
Also, it allows me to see how well I know the bible, by guessing myself. Just because some things make fun of me doesn't mean I can't change it to make it fun
Also, it allows me to see how well I know the bible, by guessing myself. Just because some things make fun of me doesn't mean I can't change it to make it fun
I remember seeing an anti christian video with a bunch of bible verses, all of them were taken out of context, like a verse stating to keep the private parts private, he states its about women helping men in a fight. and some of the verses were wrong.
Your Friendly Galaxy Cat same here; grew up Jehovah's witness. They are obsessed with the 32000(?) sheep thing, its about how many places there are in heaven
TylerPitik Omg the meetings! I used to play word bingo with the words "Jesus" "Death" "doom" and "new kingdom" and death won every time. the word bingo soon got banned though😂
This video reminded me, a while ago I was questioning my beliefs of a higher being (e.g. God) because I've been claiming myself as Christian for my entire life. It was simply how I was raised, but I wasn't completely sure I believed it. So I say and questioned myself "how did all this come about? How did I get here?" From that question I realized that I literally was the product of a mother and a father. Just by seeing me here, you know that I'm the product of a man and a woman getting together and doing the do. So maybe the earth's the same way. But if that's so, does that prove that God made it? Not necessarily so I looked a little deeper into it and thought "ok so some things are made out of what's already on earth. Some things come from what's naturally there. But how do those base things get there?" I then went on a psychological and metaphorical journey within myself and eventually reached the conclusion that just like how I came from a creation process, the earth has to be the same way. There's no way scientifically that it didn't happen that way. An object at rest stays at rest until a force is applied to it, yeah? So maybe god is that force. I'm not trying to stuff my beliefs down anyone's throat, just giving a little insight into my thoughts. Love the videos Dan and Dave, keep up the good work on these vids and your music!
Robert Gilmour - Wiki: Other transliterations of "Quran" include "al-Coran", "Coran", "Kuran", and "al-Qurʼan". But yea "Quran" is generally the one to go with.
Eliza How could you not know that? Nah I'm making a joke with your last name blending into a sentence.. it must be your real last name.. I'm wondering if you get that much.. wherever you're from I imagine they also know English.
I showed my mom the "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple." one and she got all panicked because something made her question her religion, and made up the "oh, it's a metaphor!" excuse, and explained by saying, "it means you must love things unseen before you can love the things seen." like ???
Yeah happens all the time, it's a load of shit in my opinion. Show any evidence of something fucked up in the bible and people will get all fidgety and nervous spouting "It's a metaphor, you wouldn't understand I read the bible a million times a day I know what it means!" It's sad, really.
The one about the eye was not meant to be taken literally... Just saying. What he was trying to get across was that if something specific in your life is making you to want to sin, get rid of it. and example would be your computer if you have become addicted to porn, or someone who is trying to pressure you to do drugs or lie to someone else.
How is that convenient? Jesus used a ton of metaphors. The parables are all metaphors. As for the old testament... Yea, that all is supposed to be literal.
arose92795 For the record, I understand where you're coming from. But, if you try to defend or explain the Bible to Athiests who just want to hate anyway, they're going to push back, no matter how much education you have. I've gone to Christian schools all of my life (preschool through university) where we talk about these things that don't appear to make sense, and with good knowledge about how to read literature and learn the history and times of the stuff that was going on in the Bible, it makes sense. The problem is that these people who criticize the Bible are reading it from the present point of view, not accounting for everything that was not known when all this stuff was written. But, if you read the Bible as an Israelite, Jew, or Gentile in the time it was written, it makes sense and is actually revolutionary, liberating stuff. However, these people don't want to ask biblical historians or theologians what all this stuff means, so they're going to judge it based on its appearance instead of by the message it was intended to convey.It's really a shame that this happened here because boyinaband is all about not judging the message based on the messenger.
NECULTA GAMES No, nobody coerced me to believe what I do. If I moved away from Christianity my parents would still love and respect me, and I made profession of faith as an adult with full knowledge and understanding of what I was doing. But, if you want to be like every Atheist I know you can keep calling me that. You'll just be wrong.
Jesus quote time "I have no come to bring peace, but the sword". The inherent issue with the Old Testament is that is the History of the Hebrew people, thus we get a massive turn in the New Testament. For instance an obvious metaphor is the throwing your eye away one. That is obviously saying "If something in your life causes to you to do bad things get rid of it".
The way it is written Dunkey is the history of the hebrew people as it was compiled. And a lot of the stuff non mystical elements are agreed upon by other nations records. Yes Jericho was burned, yes they did have a kingdom, yes it was overan of the Assyrians, yes the Assyrians were going to sack their cities if they did not pay up, yes the Assyrians took other tribes to the winds, yes Babylon did move the Hebrew people to Babylon.
I've never read the bible but listening to some of the verses you guys listed, I'm kinda glad I've never read it. I'm thankful my parents never forced their religion on me like a lot of christian parents do.
Tomas Sundberg Jesus himself said that he did not come to destroy the old law. Not one jot or tittle. It was a covenant made to last a thousand generations. Plus, the ten commandments are straight OT. Should we then throw those out? But who cares anyway, as horrible as the Pentateuch is, It's not until the 'first hippie' comes around that we get the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that is the doctrine of Hellfire. Not to mention all the donkey stealing, fig tree beatings, and usurer whippings. Plus, alot of those passages that involve the subjugation of women are total NT. But the bigger point is that ANY god, who would tell ANY person to take and keep virgin slaves is a horrible god. I don't care that he told it to you, or to some tribe in the desert thousands of years ago. He said it to someone, somewhere... How can you apologize on behalf of a monster like that?
GlitterGirlAngel you know what, dont let these guys pressure you into reading the bible. if you feel like you dont want to read about all the things you listed, the violence and racism and ect then dont. The bible does have those things but it also has other things like the teachings of jesus. it tells you to love your mom and dad and yourself and to be kind to other people and other things. The bible has some good teachings but it also has some bad ones and its been used in the past to control people. But if you decide to read the bible, make sure it was YOUR decision. don't do it because other people pressure you into reading it or tell you to read it anyway for historical purposes. also, make sure you think about what your reading. like i said before, the bible has good and bad teachings.
To me it felt way different when I started reading The Bible myself, than when others told me passages. Also: reading in another language helps escaping from the "sound cliches" you might have about some passages. I read some in English and it felt very refreshing, made much more sense. I was so used to some parts read over and over in the church that I couldn't even get to their meaning. I only heard "familiar sound" but no text. But that's just me. I'll let you know what's up when I die ;)
If you don't wish to waste time actually reading the bible, I suggest the Bible Reloaded. It's 2 Atheists reading through it in a comedic format. It's quite good.
The meaning is that a person must put God before anything else. Jesus made the point quite clear that choosing to be Christian, literally "Christ-like," was not going to be easy and that you must be willing to sacrifice everything else you had in the world. It is not necessary to physically discard all that you have and love, it is just required that God come first. The Christian hierarchy of importance is God, your family, and then the church.
S.M. grimbldoo That doesn't exactly make it sound better.. A religious figure comes before all else, hence why people who "hear" the voice of God do such horrible things without any second thoughts. Such hierarchy just doesn't work, as it shuns you for following logic and common sense.
I'm a Christian and I enjoyed just someone's perspective of reading random verses. The eye gouging was a metaphor it's saying if something in your life causes you to sin remove it.
I like how everyone just assumes that the verses are horrible, yet they don't look any further into the Bible to see where it came from. Thats what you call "out of context"
'i just came up with a nice little rapey one, to start us off' You can't hate him, not with that smile. You probably should. But you can't. You just can't.
the metaphors were so those who were not Israel (his people) couldn't understand. Israel is what Yahweh(Gods name) calls his people, he's not referring to the actual place.
IKR??? like who the fck is judging whether those lines are metaphors or not? how do they know? simple every violent line is presented as a metaphor according to church leaders cause they fcking know that it's just fcked up and it would ruin their system if they said otherwise
PSDI Ok, first off i don't go to church, I read the bible and believe what it says, second off, it says in the bible that He speaks in metaphors so that those who aren't in His kingdom wont understand
May I just say that the "gouge it out" was used in the Silent Hills' Playable Teaser for PS4? I thought that was pretty interesting, regarding the plot of the teaser (which I'm not sure if will remain the same for the full game)
These are not as crazy as they sound. The thing about gouging out your own eye is basically just saying don't blame your sin on other people/things that are within your control. The one about "if you don't hate your own father and mother" is saying you should love Jesus so much that your love for your family should look like hate in comparison. The bible makes sense if you can actually be bothered to think about it for two seconds.
Except for the hundreds of places where it doesn't make sense at all. And like they said, "The things that don't sound ridiculous are literal, the things that do sound ridiculous are figurative" pretty much sums it up how people view the Bible these days.
tell me again about that time Eve did what a talking snake told her, and that Noah filled a boat with two of every living thing that then returned to their natural habitats with no worry following a world wide flood that somehow didn't kill all the trees everywhere. Oh and how god created the world in seven days despite geological evidence pointing to it being created over billions of years. Yep, makes sense
Im just saying, that in the original translation of the bible, some things were lost. for example, when god made the world in seven 'days', the hebrew word for days actually can also mean 'era' so the world could have been created in seven eras. As for homophobic biblical quotes, the translation of that was that man should not lay with a child, i.e pedophilia
Dave, I love all of your videos. This one makes me sad, though. All of the things that are satirical that you both thought were lyric, you thought because you see the Bible as "full of rapey things" and all about anger and control. The things that are lyric, you used because they were so ridiculous sounding that there's no way they could be in here. I hope you would take the time and read the parts of the Bible, like the gospel of John, to see the love that's in there, and perhaps have somebody show you why the parts that seem harsh aren't actually so. For example, Jesus never intended for somebody to actually gouge out their eyes (or cut off their hand, as the verse continues on to say) but rather to remove sources of sin from your life. A group of friends and I were discussing this idea with things like social media and parties just the other day. These things in and of themselves aren't bad, but if they become an issue and keep us from doing the thins we ought to in life, then we should "gouge them out" or get rid of them if we can't learn to control their effect in our lives. Please don't read this as preachy or trying to get you to convert to "my religion." I just wish the people who had shown you parts of Christianity had shown you the good things, and that the things that aren't so good had been shown in context and explained.
This is an incorrect assumption as it implies that Jesus was exaggerating, but Jesus never exaggerated. Preachers sometimes exaggerate to make a point but Jesus always meant what He said and said what He meant. He is Truth personified. It is inconceivable that He would play with words for the crude purpose of ramming home a lesson. When Jesus spoke in parables He did so to conceal truths, not to stretch them (Mt 13:13). In any case, the passage above is not part of a parable. The context is the Sermon on the Mount and Jesus has just been speaking about anger and lust. His language is plain because the issues are serious. There is nothing metaphorical about His choice of words. It is hard for some Christians to grasp the idea that Jesus could preach both grace and law without confusing the two, but He did.
That's a fair argument. I still don't know that he has intentions for people to do those things because HE is the source they need to stop sinning, not anything they can do for themselves. I agree wholeheartedly, though, that he can preach grace and law without confusing them.
The weights and measurements line has to do with money and payment. It was more common at the time for money to be dealt with in weight on a scale, and measuring the differing bits of coin was the determination of fairness.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 *Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)* I admire Dave for sharing most of his thoughts but this is my faith. 😊
Wow, guys. That is some thoughtful stuff you are doing that deserves genuine respect for both of you. I am taking off my hat, dear sirs. P.S. Liked and deeply respected.
Not at all. In a court, a woman's testimony doesn't count. Even in Islam they count (for 1/2 or 1/3 or 1/6 of a man's, can't remember specifically, but they count for something).
Bulbasaur Dubstepper Then that's it, women's testimonies are worth half a man's testimony in Islam, and don't mean Jack shit in Judaism or Christianity. So no, God is not very fond of the sex that's responsible for growing the next generation to the basic level of a baby.
I had no idea the Bible was so grim, it's like I finally understand what ̶L̶i̶o̶n̶e̶l̶ ̶R̶i̶c̶h̶i̶e̶ Richard Dawkins has been s̶i̶n̶g̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ tweeting about.
Oh yeah. Satan can be credited for killing under a dozen people in the bible. God on the other hand is claimed to be the direct cause of over a million. A million, when you take the bible a it's own face value. And there was also the time in the bible where god killed everyone except a dude, his wife, his sons and their wives, and made them repopulate the earth. There's also some great stuff about how if you wear something with blended fibers you should be killed. And if you wank while thinking of anyone who isn't your wife, you should gouge out your eyes. Also, plundering was comparatively rare in the old testament. In fact, most of the time, god commanded the Israelites to kill literally everyone, and leave absolutely no survivors. Even animals. Everything dead. Except the trees. Except that one time where god got the Israelites to convert some gentiles, perform circumcision on all the men, and while the guys were still recovering kill them. Pretty awesome. Yeah. I'm an atheist, but even if it were proven that god were real, there'd be no moral standing to worship the bastard.
ldobehardcore A religious nut job once said to me "The devil was created by god to balance good and evil." but in this instance, why would the devil be the bad one? If he was created for the SOUL PURPOSE to be evil then isn't the creator the evil one? Just saying, religion is fucked up. I too am an athiest btw.
Norbert Kass its always annoyed me why the devil gets such a bad deal. he lives in hell and punishers sinners, hes basically a prison guard and sacrifices his life in service of keeping bad people from earth, yet people consider him the cause of evil. and if he did cause evil why punish humans for what a much more powerful entity forced upon them? at least in greek mythology hades is zues' brother and they are both seen as gods.
Norbert Kass faceless58 Here's something interesting to mull over. The devil, Biblically speaking, isn't even one guy. There's the serpent in eden who is never stated to be the devil. There is Lucifer, who was a guardian angel in eden who committed the sin of pride, and was cast out. There's beelzebub, who was able to come into the presence of God's court in the book of Job. Beelzebub was also referred to as a kind tester/tormentor setup by God in order to both make people suffer for their sins as well as to test the righteous and see if they fail under the pressure, which is what god did with Job. The entire book of Job is basically god tossing dice in the alley with the devil. He makes a bet with the devil about whether Job loves god for all the good stuff god does for him, or if Job loves god just because. Which belies god's sickening insecurity. Even if god didn't know that Job would hold out for him, there's no point in stooping to the devil's level of undignified neediness and button-pushing. There's also the angel of death, who may also in some interpretations be a facet of the devil. Anyway, the point is, the devil is essentially a construction of the catholic church that is extra-biblical, and is pretty much solely used in order to enhance it's control over the faithful. The devil is the same as boogie man of the old wives-tales. A convenient deception to enforce rules that have either no good reason for existing, or reasons that the rule-givers know will piss off the adherents.
Boyinaband, you should do Lyric or Satiric on Hammurabi's Code of Laws or The Epic of Gilgamesh next. You know, keeping up with the ancient works theme.
Dunno what translation you guys are using, but it doesn't matter man. The bible is so garbled as it is.... As a very religious person I found this video quite entertaining. And eye opening.
Ugh, you're both adorable and so sweet. Thanks for posting! Kind of felt like i got to hang out with you guys XD BTW i am shocked at those bible versus, i mean shit lol. i knew they got bad but there were a lot of new ones for me here
I think the guy who made all this god shit up is in his grave laughing watching this because there having fun from the bullshit like he was when he was high as a kite
Nope your statement is invalid there could be an afterlife why not, that doesn't mean it has to do with any religions or heaven bullcrap, there you go, he didn't played himself
+TheHappy_P0tat0 No, For example i hate the more popular monotheistic religious gods. like Judaism, Christianity, Catholicism, JW's Witness's and etc. Just purely because i believe in demons getting and obtaining power and letting their allure do the rest by corrupting people. (which from what i've seen need nothing to back up if not war's, discrimination,disowning etc.)
***** Atheism can also be a lack of faith more-so than a lack of belief you know. Though I'm guessing there are better words to describe my religious standing.
Grant, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thy sauce;and in sauce, noodles;and in noodles, meatballs;and in meatballs, knowledge;and from knowledge, knowledge of what is tasty;and from knowledge of what is tasty, the love of spaghetti;and from spaghetti, the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.Ramen.
Here's some more hate for the fire. Many times in the OT God told the Israelites to totally destroy their enemies AND every living thing. When they plundered they were being disobedient and were punished. If the Bible were a movie it would definitely be rated R or worse. It's real life stuff. War, murder, rape, deceit, ultimately redemption. It's not ALL fluffy. And it's not ALL violent. Don't read it if you're scared. It will change you. Read it if you want to be informed and enlightened.
DERPAKUS Soo the all-powerful god who was forced to make a choice between life and death decided "Eh, I'll kill all these people, then choose these ones as mine, but if they don't follow me I'll kill a bunch of them horribly, then I'll march them into this occupied land and kill all their neighbors using them, rather than using my unlimited powers to do something useful like just making the desert habitable or any of the other unlimited options I have."
DarthRayj God didn't just say ''yo i'll kill you because i want to'',No He killed most of the egyptians because they didn't free the hebrews from slavery,and if we made the desert habitable, what help would that do? they'll constantly ask for everything,and when God doesn't do it,they'll reject him/
As a non denominational Christian I feel that people should say and do what they want. Two of my best friends are Agnostic and I know quite a few Atheists. Wanna know why we get along? Because we can talk and debate, tell our opinions to each other without forcing our beliefs onto one another. I don't agree with everything the say and I sure as hell know that they don't agree with my views. The main reason why religious people and non religious people don't get along is the because we are all put into this false stereotype that we are all the same, that all religious people force our ways onto everyone and think everyone who doesn't agree with us that they are going to hell. Then you have the atheists that think every single religious person is unintelligent because we still choose to believe in something that can't be proven. I think people need to grow up and stop bashing everyone and stop putting all of us into the same category, we all have our own minds and thoughts.
Personally I think Christianity is just a cult created by a carpenter who wanted to be remembered by history,using slight of hand and gaining the reputation made it look like he was performing miracles and the only difference between a cult and Christianity is...umm...yeah there is no real difference. But you know if I say that out loud I'd receive dozens of replies all being against me so I never said that hahahahaha...
There's no proof that Jesus believed what he was saying,you keep a tight enough mouth and no one would know so it's impossible to say nowadays. Though of course Christianity helps people and is a great thing usually,it's just I don't think that it's origins were as *miracle* -like as people say they were
7:14. I'd be surprised if that want in there. We have enormous quantities of texts that describe this very torturous method of execution, and not only within the Holy works of the time.
Regarding the gouging your eye out and “hating your brother,” neither of those were literal, it’s hyperbole. Jesus isn’t saying to literally tear out your eye, but rather to avoid sin. And Jesus is not saying hate your family, it’s a reference to the fact that if your family doesn’t follow Christ, you should still follow a Christ over the wishes of your family. The reason it says “hate” is because there was no word in Greek, the language the original Bible was written in, to convey what Jesus was actually trying to say without using the word “hate”
I like the way you used the Bible to make up this game but I would reccomend you actually read the context of the chapter you are trying to understand and remember there are three ways to read it from different perspective, literally, spiritually, and historical. To understand it spiritually you need to believe in God because without Faith this book is only information history and a fable but when you decide to believe it The Holy Spirit starts teaching you the depths of the spiritual side of it, it will transform anyone .. really like your channel Boyinaband
“Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us - he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.” My favorite bible verse. It is hilarious!
AulmonPVP Productions Depends on where you live how the arabic is converted phonetically. In english it's the Quaran, in Swedish it's "Koran" for exampel and the phonetics are more or less the same.
Loved it, some of the satiric verses were so well crafted. However one thing, you are both aware God didn't actually wright the bible. Men did, and we do always put our current notions on everything we record. There is only one truth but we shall never know it, all we can know is a mans perception of the truth. .
I just want to say, a good way of finding out what God really meant by a certain thing is to look at the context, what is said before and after, and look at what things were like in bible times, because they were very different in many ways.
Here's a comment not related to religion in any way: I want Dave's hair
Theres a religion based around his hair.
Oh then uh, related to religion: i want dave's hair
Riley the Direwolf Me too. It would make a nice scarf.
Who doesn't?
ME TOO! :)
I'm surprised you didn't use the story about Jesus cursing a fig tree.
Catherine McClain fr tho even Christians don't know what this means! I've asked people from all denominations and they don't understand
'Melia G. I think the guy just didn't like the fact that the fig tree didn't have any damn fruit ripe when he was hungry. Everyone else probably thought it was funny and wrote it down.
Of course, I kinda think that way to make me chuckle every now and then when I am not having a good day.
I read about it on stuff, and the fig trees were not going to bear fruit at all so he did it to save people from disappoint? I'm not sure though.
I think the meaning behind that was a bit deeper. Jesus spent 3 years healing and even resurrecting people, but he was far from the 'little defenseless good guy'. By killing the fig tree he wanted to communicate that he can take a life as well with one simple word.
Otherwise people would think that he is weak and was crucified despite his will. This means that Jesus could have killed all the Romans and Jews, yet he allowed them to crucify him so the prophecy would be fulfilled. That's a complex topic but yeah, I think that it is something way more than just him getting mad at a tree :)
huh, that's pretty cool. I get it now. Thaks
Gods mixtape was so fire, that an entire religion was based around it.
With some editing, that'd actually be a good line for a rap
With some editing, the entire bible would be a pretty killer rap
Not unlike kanye
we can make a religion out of this
Kaskerz they've done that
Jesus, one of my favorite rap artists of all time.
He's the don.
Jay C FTW! ;)
XD
*facepalm
The original G, G.
I like the part in the bible when children get mauled by a bear because they made fun of a bald man
+screw this. The concubine was already dead, actually. Her lover cut up her body and sent it to the tribes to horrify them as to the nature of the men where the concubine died.
Im a Christian but yes, when God or Elijah(i think?) sent the bear after the kids when they made fun of elijahs baldness, I kinda just... my heart sunk and I was like "oh"
Weezer Fanatic Well at least we can agree on something!
+Weezer Fanatic ikr
+Weezer Fanatic what about the part that says when a man rapes a woman he must pay her father and he shall become his wife
"I've just came up with the nice little rapey one to start with. *giggles*" Priceless. :D
The funny thing about this is you can see both the satiric and lyric ones being in the bible. And to me that's the worst part about it.
One of the Satiric ones was actually in the bible, the pillaging thing but without the cronies at the end, I'm almost certain that's somewhere in the old testament.
There are countless similar stories, because they're actual historical events that happened in the years BC, and countless times since.
+Prompted Hawk Me too, I am convinced I have read it somewhere. But I could be wrong, the last time I have actually actively read the bible was 4 years ago...
Magi V Well for me it's mandatory in school, so I get to read it a bit.
Prompted hawk - Usually in school they will cherry pick the hell out of it and you won't see the questionable parts.
Dave's wearing his stylish pastafarian necklace again. Very fitting.
Well, I think at least. Couldn't get a good look at it.
"If your right eye causes you to sin, put it out and throw it away..." because it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven blind than not at all (second half not an exact quote). It's vivid imagery.
I was thinking about the disciple line from 5:06, and how Dave thought that the line was satiric because Jesus wanted everyone to love each other. It came to me that that was the reason why Jesus would say something like that line. He's basically saying that, "If there is a man who doesn't hate anyone, then that man can't be my disciple." Jesus was saying that if there was a man who didn't hate anyone (otherwise meaning he loved everyone), he would have nothing to teach that man.
*applause*
It was not or, it was and, it's not saying someone who didn't hate anyone it's someone who didn't hate everyone.
I think the correct interpretation is that compared to the love you must feel for God you hate everyone else, just like Abraham who was willing to kill his son because God told him to.
from what i learned is u must love god before anybody else no one in ur life should be above god
BroTube TV
Yes, this is how I understood it as well.
I interpreted it as if you hold on to worldly things and people you cannot accept what Jesus has to teach you. You must first realise and accept that you are sinful and everyone and everything from this material world is sinful and gets in the way of us and god. Once you realise this you can take the message in and strive for a better way of life free of sin modelling Jesus. You can't accept forgiveness if you don't think you've done anything wrong.
Jesus spoke in parable all the time. The "gouge your eye out and throw it away" thing was a metaphor. It just means that if there's something in your life like a toxic habit, an addiction, or something that constantly causes you to stumble, cut it out of your life. Cut out the habit or the source of temptation.
I'm not sure what it says about your critical thinking skills if you really think Jesus wanted a bunch of disciples wearing eyepatches :P
Cain...
I assume your refering to Cain and able? Although the context to the comment makes no sense.
I don't believe they claimed it was literal. They were just discussing how specific it was about the right eyes and not just the eyes in general.
denman wolftamer although yes, i was more specifically referring to the game "the binding of isaac" where one character, cain, is wearing an eye-patch.
Or maybe this is what you have been taught to believe? Maybe God was being literal? You would never know.
2:33 - I knew this one was fake, because women and children were never treated separately - they were either all captured or all slaughtered.
"Cronies" was a giveaway, too.
So I actually knew some of these due to being raised as a christian. I feel like the gouging out of the right eye is quite a well known verse
Its a metaphor for cutting bad habits and stressful things out of your life.
@@smooooth_ ohhhh. Well, I’ve already gouged it out so...
This is a joke. I still have my eyes.
@@paul.c1810 eye see what you did there
I am a Christian but I don't know what to think of this. Many phrases used can be very misleading when not taken in context. BTW the proverbs an psalms from the scriptures have a unique form of poetry that makes two synonymous parallels. It is the only form of poetry that can be translated between virtually every language because it doesn't rely on the sound of the words, instead it relies on their meaning.
There not poems there proverbs. There are other proverbs which aren't from the bible. For instance "never look a gifthorce in the mouth" and a popular russian proverb "a smile without reason is a sign of idiocy"
What is your grammer? I was incorrect to say that the proverbs were poetry. The psalms were what I was thinking of.
Amen
TrebleCleft there are many poems in the Bible not only 2 books
I am a Christian and I am laughing my sinful ass off! Thanks for the laughs, cheers!
Why?
I thought you were about to say "for those of you who aren't familiar with the bible" and I was about to jump out a window
Why would you jump out a window for that?
Not religious people exist you know. I couldn't care less about the Bible, honestly.
yeah I'm not religious but most people know what a bible is... whether it's from school, or from you know, passing a church on the street and seeing a bible sale, if you don't know what a bible is then your probably very out of it...
like I'm an atheist too but I still know what a bible is...
There's a difference between knowing of the bible and being familiar with the bible.
I love how there's a bunch of anti religion comments, when
1: A ton of these are made up
2: They wanted to have fun with this
3: Most of the things they said were much worse than what the bible says
I'm a Christian, yet I enjoyed this video, and am going to watch some of the others
Yeah they have a bunch of fun basically saying the things god did were unjust. I'm just wonder as a Christian you say you are, why did you enjoy a video by people basically makeing up things that a horrible to see if god commanded/said.
Danny Holmes People with a sense of humor can enjoy funny things, even if it is making fun of them.
Also, it allows me to see how well I know the bible, by guessing myself. Just because some things make fun of me doesn't mean I can't change it to make it fun
Also, it allows me to see how well I know the bible, by guessing myself. Just because some things make fun of me doesn't mean I can't change it to make it fun
I remember seeing an anti christian video with a bunch of bible verses, all of them were taken out of context, like a verse stating to keep the private parts private, he states its about women helping men in a fight. and some of the verses were wrong.
I love Dave's high pitched "hi" it so cute
I know some of these verses and I'm cringing because I know when it is or not...
Your Friendly Galaxy Cat same here; grew up Jehovah's witness. They are obsessed with the 32000(?) sheep thing, its about how many places there are in heaven
Lol I'm a baptist. Same here.
Your Friendly Galaxy Cat lol growing up a JW was the first, meetings/assemblies were so boring.
TylerPitik Omg the meetings! I used to play word bingo with the words "Jesus" "Death" "doom" and "new kingdom" and death won every time. the word bingo soon got banned though😂
Lmfao #JustJehovahswitnessthings everything bad tbh no Christmas or Halloween
This video reminded me, a while ago I was questioning my beliefs of a higher being (e.g. God) because I've been claiming myself as Christian for my entire life. It was simply how I was raised, but I wasn't completely sure I believed it. So I say and questioned myself "how did all this come about? How did I get here?"
From that question I realized that I literally was the product of a mother and a father. Just by seeing me here, you know that I'm the product of a man and a woman getting together and doing the do. So maybe the earth's the same way. But if that's so, does that prove that God made it? Not necessarily so I looked a little deeper into it and thought "ok so some things are made out of what's already on earth. Some things come from what's naturally there. But how do those base things get there?" I then went on a psychological and metaphorical journey within myself and eventually reached the conclusion that just like how I came from a creation process, the earth has to be the same way. There's no way scientifically that it didn't happen that way. An object at rest stays at rest until a force is applied to it, yeah? So maybe god is that force. I'm not trying to stuff my beliefs down anyone's throat, just giving a little insight into my thoughts. Love the videos Dan and Dave, keep up the good work on these vids and your music!
I thought you were going to conclude that God must be a woman, seeing as you were also born from one x)
The fact that murder, rape, violence and theft are so common in the Bible that you guys have trouble guessing correctly scares me.
Dave's face when Dan said unless he has not been circumsized I nearly died laughing
Maybe part 2 - The Koran
eliza how Might want to leave that for a farewell video. Go out with a bang, so to speak.
The Quran*
Robert Gilmour - Wiki: Other transliterations of "Quran" include "al-Coran", "Coran", "Kuran", and "al-Qurʼan".
But yea "Quran" is generally the one to go with.
Quran*
Sorry guys, in my language it's Koran and I didn't thought it's different in English.
Eliza How could you not know that?
Nah I'm making a joke with your last name blending into a sentence.. it must be your real last name.. I'm wondering if you get that much.. wherever you're from I imagine they also know English.
Boyinaband Nice comeback at the end!
This was the funniest lyric or satiric so far! Keep it up!
(@ ***** as well)
i´m so happy that this series is now continued...
why don't these get more views they're hilarious
Because most people would be offended.
Okay, I'm subscribing.
yes, god forbid people say things that aren't based off of opinions that make YOU look bad.
+Ancala Bond the fuck are you even mad about?
+ometta7 Good. You can shut off your internet while you're at it :D
I love all of the lyric or Satiric content you guys made, but this is by far the BEST!
Nothing like taking quotes not only out chapter context, but also historical context.
What relevant or acceptable contexts would these be appropriate in?
Put it in context, and it's still as evil. I promise you. I've read the bible, and it is definitely evil
'Historical' it's just a fairytale for adults calm down
Jasmien De Graeve It's called spiritual allergory.
AWResistance
¯\_(・c)_/¯
Please please use this lighting more often because you both looked really great
I showed my mom the "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple." one and she got all panicked because something made her question her religion, and made up the "oh, it's a metaphor!" excuse, and explained by saying, "it means you must love things unseen before you can love the things seen." like ???
Yeah happens all the time, it's a load of shit in my opinion. Show any evidence of something fucked up in the bible and people will get all fidgety and nervous spouting "It's a metaphor, you wouldn't understand I read the bible a million times a day I know what it means!" It's sad, really.
Also studying history and the cultures of the time will help you understand the "context" of the verses.
The one about the eye was not meant to be taken literally... Just saying. What he was trying to get across was that if something specific in your life is making you to want to sin, get rid of it. and example would be your computer if you have become addicted to porn, or someone who is trying to pressure you to do drugs or lie to someone else.
Wow, that's pretty convenient
How is that convenient? Jesus used a ton of metaphors. The parables are all metaphors. As for the old testament... Yea, that all is supposed to be literal.
arose92795 For the record, I understand where you're coming from. But, if you try to defend or explain the Bible to Athiests who just want to hate anyway, they're going to push back, no matter how much education you have. I've gone to Christian schools all of my life (preschool through university) where we talk about these things that don't appear to make sense, and with good knowledge about how to read literature and learn the history and times of the stuff that was going on in the Bible, it makes sense. The problem is that these people who criticize the Bible are reading it from the present point of view, not accounting for everything that was not known when all this stuff was written. But, if you read the Bible as an Israelite, Jew, or Gentile in the time it was written, it makes sense and is actually revolutionary, liberating stuff. However, these people don't want to ask biblical historians or theologians what all this stuff means, so they're going to judge it based on its appearance instead of by the message it was intended to convey.It's really a shame that this happened here because boyinaband is all about not judging the message based on the messenger.
NECULTA GAMES No, nobody coerced me to believe what I do. If I moved away from Christianity my parents would still love and respect me, and I made profession of faith as an adult with full knowledge and understanding of what I was doing. But, if you want to be like every Atheist I know you can keep calling me that. You'll just be wrong.
Jimmy Carozza You're the reason i support eugenics and forced sterilization..
Jesus quote time "I have no come to bring peace, but the sword". The inherent issue with the Old Testament is that is the History of the Hebrew people, thus we get a massive turn in the New Testament. For instance an obvious metaphor is the throwing your eye away one. That is obviously saying "If something in your life causes to you to do bad things get rid of it".
plagiarized_memes Ayy
Never said it was perfect. Just that the old testament is the history of a people, with odd mystical stuff thrown in.
It's not history. It's a story.
Dunkey's Long Lost Son both kinda
The way it is written Dunkey is the history of the hebrew people as it was compiled. And a lot of the stuff non mystical elements are agreed upon by other nations records. Yes Jericho was burned, yes they did have a kingdom, yes it was overan of the Assyrians, yes the Assyrians were going to sack their cities if they did not pay up, yes the Assyrians took other tribes to the winds, yes Babylon did move the Hebrew people to Babylon.
I've never read the bible but listening to some of the verses you guys listed, I'm kinda glad I've never read it. I'm thankful my parents never forced their religion on me like a lot of christian parents do.
you should read it anyway if simply for the historical value
Tomas Sundberg Jesus himself said that he did not come to destroy the old law. Not one jot or tittle. It was a covenant made to last a thousand generations. Plus, the ten commandments are straight OT. Should we then throw those out? But who cares anyway, as horrible as the Pentateuch is, It's not until the 'first hippie' comes around that we get the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that is the doctrine of Hellfire. Not to mention all the donkey stealing, fig tree beatings, and usurer whippings. Plus, alot of those passages that involve the subjugation of women are total NT. But the bigger point is that ANY god, who would tell ANY person to take and keep virgin slaves is a horrible god. I don't care that he told it to you, or to some tribe in the desert thousands of years ago. He said it to someone, somewhere... How can you apologize on behalf of a monster like that?
GlitterGirlAngel you know what, dont let these guys pressure you into reading the bible. if you feel like you dont want to read about all the things you listed, the violence and racism and ect then dont. The bible does have those things but it also has other things like the teachings of jesus. it tells you to love your mom and dad and yourself and to be kind to other people and other things. The bible has some good teachings but it also has some bad ones and its been used in the past to control people. But if you decide to read the bible, make sure it was YOUR decision. don't do it because other people pressure you into reading it or tell you to read it anyway for historical purposes. also, make sure you think about what your reading. like i said before, the bible has good and bad teachings.
To me it felt way different when I started reading The Bible myself, than when others told me passages. Also: reading in another language helps escaping from the "sound cliches" you might have about some passages. I read some in English and it felt very refreshing, made much more sense. I was so used to some parts read over and over in the church that I couldn't even get to their meaning. I only heard "familiar sound" but no text.
But that's just me.
I'll let you know what's up when I die ;)
If you don't wish to waste time actually reading the bible, I suggest the Bible Reloaded. It's 2 Atheists reading through it in a comedic format. It's quite good.
04:03 was brilliant
"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it in the bin"
5:12
There's no way that can be lyric, that sounds so satirical and almost self-aware-- Holy crap, what?!
The meaning is that a person must put God before anything else. Jesus made the point quite clear that choosing to be Christian, literally "Christ-like," was not going to be easy and that you must be willing to sacrifice everything else you had in the world. It is not necessary to physically discard all that you have and love, it is just required that God come first.
The Christian hierarchy of importance is God, your family, and then the church.
It's from Luke 14:26 and yes, totally demented.
S.M. grimbldoo The word hate in this context means to "love-less" not our English version of hate.
S.M. grimbldoo
That doesn't exactly make it sound better.. A religious figure comes before all else, hence why people who "hear" the voice of God do such horrible things without any second thoughts. Such hierarchy just doesn't work, as it shuns you for following logic and common sense.
S.M. grimbldoo That sound less than sane to abide by.
6:03
Everything is wring here. The lyric, Dave's face, EVERYTHING
I'm a Christian and I enjoyed just someone's perspective of reading random verses. The eye gouging was a metaphor it's saying if something in your life causes you to sin remove it.
Yesh
I like how everyone just assumes that the verses are horrible, yet they don't look any further into the Bible to see where it came from. Thats what you call "out of context"
So many anti-religion comments it's not worth scrolling down. Spare yourself.the trouble.
'i just came up with a nice little rapey one, to start us off'
You can't hate him, not with that smile.
You probably should.
But you can't.
You just can't.
"If your eyes see sin then gouge it out" is a metaphor, if something in your life is causing you to disobey Yahweh(God) then get rid of it.
the metaphors were so those who were not Israel (his people) couldn't understand. Israel is what Yahweh(Gods name) calls his people, he's not referring to the actual place.
and why is it a metaphor? because you or your church leaders say so?
IKR??? like who the fck is judging whether those lines are metaphors or not? how do they know? simple every violent line is presented as a metaphor according to church leaders cause they fcking know that it's just fcked up and it would ruin their system if they said otherwise
That is a... pretty terribly done metaphor.
PSDI Ok, first off i don't go to church, I read the bible and believe what it says, second off, it says in the bible that He speaks in metaphors so that those who aren't in His kingdom wont understand
Just to clarify the one at 5:08, It means to hate your family and yourself in comparison. It doesn't mean you actually have to hate them.
Dan always wins.
XD I love how casually you guys introduce this!
"Gouge it out and throw it in the bin." I laughed so hard omfg
May I just say that the "gouge it out" was used in the Silent Hills' Playable Teaser for PS4? I thought that was pretty interesting, regarding the plot of the teaser (which I'm not sure if will remain the same for the full game)
Gotta love quoting the bible
so to explain the right eye thing it was used along with any part of your body. so it did specify for the purpose of being illustrative.
I suck at this game. you should do it again sometime
These are not as crazy as they sound. The thing about gouging out your own eye is basically just saying don't blame your sin on other people/things that are within your control. The one about "if you don't hate your own father and mother" is saying you should love Jesus so much that your love for your family should look like hate in comparison. The bible makes sense if you can actually be bothered to think about it for two seconds.
I am god so I order you to give up all your worldy possessions to the poor
Except for the hundreds of places where it doesn't make sense at all.
And like they said, "The things that don't sound ridiculous are literal, the things that do sound ridiculous are figurative" pretty much sums it up how people view the Bible these days.
tell me again about that time Eve did what a talking snake told her, and that Noah filled a boat with two of every living thing that then returned to their natural habitats with no worry following a world wide flood that somehow didn't kill all the trees everywhere. Oh and how god created the world in seven days despite geological evidence pointing to it being created over billions of years. Yep, makes sense
So then explain how the Bible condones the death penalty for being gay? That's REAL love right there. Routine genocide.
Im just saying, that in the original translation of the bible, some things were lost. for example, when god made the world in seven 'days', the hebrew word for days actually can also mean 'era' so the world could have been created in seven eras. As for homophobic biblical quotes, the translation of that was that man should not lay with a child, i.e pedophilia
Dave, I love all of your videos.
This one makes me sad, though. All of the things that are satirical that you both thought were lyric, you thought because you see the Bible as "full of rapey things" and all about anger and control. The things that are lyric, you used because they were so ridiculous sounding that there's no way they could be in here. I hope you would take the time and read the parts of the Bible, like the gospel of John, to see the love that's in there, and perhaps have somebody show you why the parts that seem harsh aren't actually so.
For example, Jesus never intended for somebody to actually gouge out their eyes (or cut off their hand, as the verse continues on to say) but rather to remove sources of sin from your life. A group of friends and I were discussing this idea with things like social media and parties just the other day. These things in and of themselves aren't bad, but if they become an issue and keep us from doing the thins we ought to in life, then we should "gouge them out" or get rid of them if we can't learn to control their effect in our lives.
Please don't read this as preachy or trying to get you to convert to "my religion." I just wish the people who had shown you parts of Christianity had shown you the good things, and that the things that aren't so good had been shown in context and explained.
This is an incorrect assumption as it implies that Jesus was exaggerating, but Jesus never exaggerated. Preachers sometimes exaggerate to make a point but Jesus always meant what He said and said what He meant. He is Truth personified. It is inconceivable that He would play with words for the crude purpose of ramming home a lesson. When Jesus spoke in parables He did so to conceal truths, not to stretch them (Mt 13:13). In any case, the passage above is not part of a parable. The context is the Sermon on the Mount and Jesus has just been speaking about anger and lust. His language is plain because the issues are serious. There is nothing metaphorical about His choice of words. It is hard for some Christians to grasp the idea that Jesus could preach both grace and law without confusing the two, but He did.
That's a fair argument. I still don't know that he has intentions for people to do those things because HE is the source they need to stop sinning, not anything they can do for themselves. I agree wholeheartedly, though, that he can preach grace and law without confusing them.
Could you explain the metaphor in the bible when some kids make fun of a man for being bald and bears come out to slaughter them.
Yeah taking stuff like this out of context is very dangerous
The weights and measurements line has to do with money and payment. It was more common at the time for money to be dealt with in weight on a scale, and measuring the differing bits of coin was the determination of fairness.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
*Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)*
I admire Dave for sharing most of his thoughts but this is my faith. 😊
Wow, guys. That is some thoughtful stuff you are doing that deserves genuine respect for both of you. I am taking off my hat, dear sirs.
P.S. Liked and deeply respected.
Well, God doesn't think very highly of women, does he?
Not at all. In a court, a woman's testimony doesn't count. Even in Islam they count (for 1/2 or 1/3 or 1/6 of a man's, can't remember specifically, but they count for something).
It's 1/2, according to the Quran anyway
Bulbasaur Dubstepper Then that's it, women's testimonies are worth half a man's testimony in Islam, and don't mean Jack shit in Judaism or Christianity. So no, God is not very fond of the sex that's responsible for growing the next generation to the basic level of a baby.
apparently not lol
It's because God is a white cis male
Oh btw the "lyric" at 5:03 is actually a quote from the apocrypha which is not, in fact, a part of the bible, in any way shape or form.
I had no idea the Bible was so grim, it's like I finally understand what ̶L̶i̶o̶n̶e̶l̶ ̶R̶i̶c̶h̶i̶e̶ Richard Dawkins has been s̶i̶n̶g̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ tweeting about.
Oh yeah. Satan can be credited for killing under a dozen people in the bible. God on the other hand is claimed to be the direct cause of over a million. A million, when you take the bible a it's own face value. And there was also the time in the bible where god killed everyone except a dude, his wife, his sons and their wives, and made them repopulate the earth.
There's also some great stuff about how if you wear something with blended fibers you should be killed. And if you wank while thinking of anyone who isn't your wife, you should gouge out your eyes.
Also, plundering was comparatively rare in the old testament. In fact, most of the time, god commanded the Israelites to kill literally everyone, and leave absolutely no survivors. Even animals. Everything dead. Except the trees.
Except that one time where god got the Israelites to convert some gentiles, perform circumcision on all the men, and while the guys were still recovering kill them.
Pretty awesome. Yeah. I'm an atheist, but even if it were proven that god were real, there'd be no moral standing to worship the bastard.
ldobehardcore A religious nut job once said to me "The devil was created by god to balance good and evil." but in this instance, why would the devil be the bad one? If he was created for the SOUL PURPOSE to be evil then isn't the creator the evil one? Just saying, religion is fucked up. I too am an athiest btw.
Norbert Kass its always annoyed me why the devil gets such a bad deal. he lives in hell and punishers sinners, hes basically a prison guard and sacrifices his life in service of keeping bad people from earth, yet people consider him the cause of evil. and if he did cause evil why punish humans for what a much more powerful entity forced upon them? at least in greek mythology hades is zues' brother and they are both seen as gods.
Norbert Kass faceless58 Here's something interesting to mull over. The devil, Biblically speaking, isn't even one guy. There's the serpent in eden who is never stated to be the devil. There is Lucifer, who was a guardian angel in eden who committed the sin of pride, and was cast out. There's beelzebub, who was able to come into the presence of God's court in the book of Job. Beelzebub was also referred to as a kind tester/tormentor setup by God in order to both make people suffer for their sins as well as to test the righteous and see if they fail under the pressure, which is what god did with Job.
The entire book of Job is basically god tossing dice in the alley with the devil. He makes a bet with the devil about whether Job loves god for all the good stuff god does for him, or if Job loves god just because. Which belies god's sickening insecurity. Even if god didn't know that Job would hold out for him, there's no point in stooping to the devil's level of undignified neediness and button-pushing.
There's also the angel of death, who may also in some interpretations be a facet of the devil.
Anyway, the point is, the devil is essentially a construction of the catholic church that is extra-biblical, and is pretty much solely used in order to enhance it's control over the faithful. The devil is the same as boogie man of the old wives-tales. A convenient deception to enforce rules that have either no good reason for existing, or reasons that the rule-givers know will piss off the adherents.
thats cool as im sure you realised i havent actually read or researched the bible, thanks
5:12 when he says they have to hate all around them, he doesn't mean it in that way, I know its pretty shocking at first.
Yipes, so, I guess I know the bible a little too well because I knew the actually horrible lines from the fake-horrible lines.
Also, have you guys not listened to Tom Waits? He loves the "If your right Eye offends thee," line and uses it in several songs.
Boyinaband, you should do Lyric or Satiric on Hammurabi's Code of Laws or The Epic of Gilgamesh next. You know, keeping up with the ancient works theme.
6:21, Moses parted the Red Sea, not Jesus
that is a 6:18 not 6:21
Dunno what translation you guys are using, but it doesn't matter man. The bible is so garbled as it is.... As a very religious person I found this video quite entertaining. And eye opening.
God is an OG
It's going to be interesting to see how Dave's audience responds to this controversial topic, gonna need alot of popcorn for this one!
Great video.
Ugh, you're both adorable and so sweet. Thanks for posting! Kind of felt like i got to hang out with you guys XD
BTW i am shocked at those bible versus, i mean shit lol. i knew they got bad but there were a lot of new ones for me here
2:32-2:46 Could been from A song of Ice and Fire, reminds me a lot of the Mountain !
He raped her! He murdered her! he killed her children!
I think the guy who made all this god shit up is in his grave laughing watching this because there having fun from the bullshit like he was when he was high as a kite
If I got really high and created a bullshit religion that encourages killing anyone who disobeys. I'd laugh too tbh
Nope your statement is invalid there could be an afterlife why not, that doesn't mean it has to do with any religions or heaven bullcrap, there you go, he didn't played himself
IPlay2Win im sorry mister grammar nazi -_-
the anime guy I know, right.
That's not how religion works. Yeah it's mostly bullshit, but saying that it was just made up by some guy is really ignorant.
2:34 DAN'S FACE CHANGE I'M DEAD
I was a Christian until I thought about it.
wat
you are a failure...
Shuckle the Great
Bob Beep How?
Shuckle the Great
you have failed our generation...
+Bob Beep and i almost stopped hating christianity and then YOU show up...well
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Would it count has hating religion if I just hate God?
+TheHappy_P0tat0 No, For example i hate the more popular monotheistic religious gods. like Judaism, Christianity, Catholicism, JW's Witness's and etc. Just purely because i believe in demons getting and obtaining power and letting their allure do the rest by corrupting people. (which from what i've seen need nothing to back up if not war's, discrimination,disowning etc.)
No
***** Atheism can also be a lack of faith more-so than a lack of belief you know.
Though I'm guessing there are better words to describe my religious standing.
+TheHappy_P0tat0 what you're describing is agnosticism, not atheism.
That's more 'Nonreligious but spiritual'
As a Christian, before I watch the video, how offended should I expect to be?
Actually, screw that, this was harlarious!
+Paul O'Rourke Wow, dude, chill the he'll out. Read my next comment.
More like Lyric or Blasphemic
Best comment in this entire comment section lol. I was thinking the same thing
I really hope that Dave does a video on how he gets his hair looking so healthy! It would help me a lot, I have really brittle hair...
Grant, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thy sauce;and in sauce, noodles;and in noodles, meatballs;and in meatballs, knowledge;and from knowledge, knowledge of what is tasty;and from knowledge of what is tasty, the love of spaghetti;and from spaghetti, the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.Ramen.
I LOVE it that you've done this!
All of these are satiric.
midnight_storm_(vǫrðr) Pretty sure the bible is satiric.
I love this series so much
Here's some more hate for the fire. Many times in the OT God told the Israelites to totally destroy their enemies AND every living thing. When they plundered they were being disobedient and were punished.
If the Bible were a movie it would definitely be rated R or worse. It's real life stuff. War, murder, rape, deceit, ultimately redemption. It's not ALL fluffy. And it's not ALL violent.
Don't read it if you're scared. It will change you. Read it if you want to be informed and enlightened.
***** Amen
***** Very true.People forget that this was B.C people fought,people died, and The God in this story had to make a choice between life or death.
DERPAKUS Soo the all-powerful god who was forced to make a choice between life and death decided "Eh, I'll kill all these people, then choose these ones as mine, but if they don't follow me I'll kill a bunch of them horribly, then I'll march them into this occupied land and kill all their neighbors using them, rather than using my unlimited powers to do something useful like just making the desert habitable or any of the other unlimited options I have."
DarthRayj God can do whatever the fuck he wants because he is god :^)
DarthRayj God didn't just say ''yo i'll kill you because i want to'',No He killed most of the egyptians because they didn't free the hebrews from slavery,and if we made the desert habitable, what help would that do? they'll constantly ask for everything,and when God doesn't do it,they'll reject him/
As a non denominational Christian I feel that people should say and do what they want. Two of my best friends are Agnostic and I know quite a few Atheists. Wanna know why we get along? Because we can talk and debate, tell our opinions to each other without forcing our beliefs onto one another. I don't agree with everything the say and I sure as hell know that they don't agree with my views. The main reason why religious people and non religious people don't get along is the because we are all put into this false stereotype that we are all the same, that all religious people force our ways onto everyone and think everyone who doesn't agree with us that they are going to hell. Then you have the atheists that think every single religious person is unintelligent because we still choose to believe in something that can't be proven. I think people need to grow up and stop bashing everyone and stop putting all of us into the same category, we all have our own minds and thoughts.
Personally I think Christianity is just a cult created by a carpenter who wanted to be remembered by history,using slight of hand and gaining the reputation made it look like he was performing miracles and the only difference between a cult and Christianity is...umm...yeah there is no real difference.
But you know if I say that out loud I'd receive dozens of replies all being against me so I never said that hahahahaha...
This is a joke,right?
Well it's what he thinks. I'm guessing you're one of the christians he was afraid of that would reply.
Robert Gilmour actually, Christianity is not a cult by its definition, because the leaders of it believe fully in its message and values
There's no proof that Jesus believed what he was saying,you keep a tight enough mouth and no one would know so it's impossible to say nowadays.
Though of course Christianity helps people and is a great thing usually,it's just I don't think that it's origins were as *miracle* -like as people say they were
The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of members.
7:14. I'd be surprised if that want in there. We have enormous quantities of texts that describe this very torturous method of execution, and not only within the Holy works of the time.
This might give off the wrong idea to people who haven't read the bible. You have to read it in context.
No it's awful even when in context.
Who else discovered Dan Bull from ERB? (For anyone who hasn't seen it, Dan played Jack in Jack the Ripper VS Hannibal Lecter and he was AWESOME.)
Can tell some of Dave's satirical lines are fake because he says "an oxen" rather than "an ox"...
Regarding the gouging your eye out and “hating your brother,” neither of those were literal, it’s hyperbole. Jesus isn’t saying to literally tear out your eye, but rather to avoid sin. And Jesus is not saying hate your family, it’s a reference to the fact that if your family doesn’t follow Christ, you should still follow a Christ over the wishes of your family. The reason it says “hate” is because there was no word in Greek, the language the original Bible was written in, to convey what Jesus was actually trying to say without using the word “hate”
I like the way you used the Bible to make up this game but I would reccomend you actually read the context of the chapter you are trying to understand and remember there are three ways to read it from different perspective, literally, spiritually, and historical. To understand it spiritually you need to believe in God because without Faith this book is only information history and a fable but when you decide to believe it The Holy Spirit starts teaching you the depths of the spiritual side of it, it will transform anyone .. really like your channel Boyinaband
“Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us - he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”
My favorite bible verse. It is hilarious!
So, next up is the Koran? and after that the Torah
you do know that the Torah is just Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, right?
Yeah I did, but I felt like I wanted to be inclusive and not just mention Islam
Quran, not Koran. And yes, more of these videos would be fantastic lol.
I believe it's Quran.
AulmonPVP Productions Depends on where you live how the arabic is converted phonetically. In english it's the Quaran, in Swedish it's "Koran" for exampel and the phonetics are more or less the same.
I love this
Loved it, some of the satiric verses were so well crafted. However one thing, you are both aware God didn't actually wright the bible. Men did, and we do always put our current notions on everything we record. There is only one truth but we shall never know it, all we can know is a mans perception of the truth. .
*applauds*
Well said. That's why I try my best to live my life in a way that at least doesn't harm others.
This is amazing
I'm twelve and I love the bible it's my favorite album
I was born in the wrong generation
r.i.p god
We need more lyric or satiric videos. These make my life.
Yay, more acknowledgement of how evil this book is.
That right arm one was something somebody said to me in relation to other christian things just last Tuesday
When I came here, the video showed 71,666 views.
Make of that whatever you want, but don't call me names, I dare you.
Cool name, dude.
Littlejohn133
Thank you. That name you can always call me.
BWAAAAAAA
This shows the devils real form...Pinkie Pie.
The cupcakes were a ploy, weren't they?
Dᴏᴡʟᴘʜɪɴ Names, how's life?
I just want to say, a good way of finding out what God really meant by a certain thing is to look at the context, what is said before and after, and look at what things were like in bible times, because they were very different in many ways.