I remember my mom saying that in her thirties she felt like her friends had all been stripped away, for one reason or another. She was an incredibly friendly person, so it wasn’t for the lack of trying. She came to realize that God had led her into a season of no close friends so that she had to fully rely on Him for that need to be fulfilled. And over the years He brought close friends into her life. She passed away a couple of years ago, but that story still resonates with me. Just thought I would share for anyone who feels like they have done everything to reach out and be a friend, yet haven’t found their people yet. Keep seeking the Lord and reaching out. And let Him be your friend in the waiting.
@AubreyL-35 Thank you for your beautiful comment. : - ) ❤ I went through a terribly sad period in my thirties where I also lost a lot of friends, but in retrospect it led me to identifying some harmful patterns from childhood and doing deep healing work that has massively improved my life. It's so helpful to remember that even terribly difficult things can sometimes open the door to blessings. 💖
(Second comment, sorry!!) When I moved to Arkansas from Iowa six years ago, none of our neighbors came to say hi and introduce themselves. Fast forward six months to Christmas, and I decided it was the perfect time for ME to go to THEM. It’s not weird if you bring cookies at Christmas! Our Muslim neighbors were so pleased to see us on their doorstep, I thought they were going to cry! Maybe they have experienced prejudice? Our Mexican immigrant neighbors invited us in, and we have been a steady fixture at their kids parties and family celebrations ever since. Our neighbors have been in our home for dinners, the ladies have come with their daughters for craft days, we have carried food back and forth (authentic moroccan food and Mexican food??? All the YES!!! How lucky are we??) Their response tells me how much they value being friends with their neighbors too.
That's so nice. When a young couple moved in next door, (Asian/Indian) they brought close neighbors a candy gift with their names and said they hoped to get to know them better in the future. I miss them so much, he had job change after 4 years.
It works not everywhere. I have heard fro a friend she did the same. But the neighbors was not kind or even want to have the cookies. This was in Ireland... She was very sad and upset too. She had to look for friends more farther, but it' s still sad if your neighbors ignore you - sometimes we relay on them - all of us.
@@kinderleichtlerneneasypeas6885 that's sad but I can see it happening. We should know our neighbors. We had someone who lived alone found dead on adjacent street to us. Neighbors are trying now to find a way to reach out to single home dwellers to not have that happen again.
I've always said that a true friend is someone who will sit with you through an "ugly cry", be by your bedside if you're in the hospital and give you a ride to the airport. It's a real miracle if it's all three in one person!😄
I have had that friend for forty-six years now. We have had disagreements, hurt feelings etc. but have always been able to get past them and forgive and carry on. The best!
I am so lucky to have two of these people in my life. One has been my friend for 52 years (we met when I was three and she was two) and the other has been my friend for 33 years (we met at work)! The best thing is that they have become friends with each other! We have been through marriages, babies,divorces, health scares, EVERYTHING! They live in Massachusetts and I am now in Chicago, but we do our best to talk and do Zooms or FaceTimes. When I had surgery, they flew out here to help take care of me for a weekend! I feel blessed every day that I have TWO best friends! I’m also lucky to have a friend group here who I met through our kids’ swim team. Only one of the kids is still swimming on the team, but we have all stuck together and try to go out as often as we can schedule.
I have a neighbor that wants to be my “friend “ but from a distance I notice all her friends are free babysitters and house sitters and I don’t want that. So I just stay to myself and enjoy family and my true best friend. I should also say I’m an introvert and I love my alone time.
Wow, that was a great video on a tricky subject. You both converse so well together and come across so, I don’t know, so.. honest and never insulting to each other…. Just so much on the same page, and make these awkward conversations very doable and normal, lol Great job 🙂 For two people who are so young, your insight and reflections are very good, not just on this video, but all your videos….. Thanks for sharing.
My bestie is fighting stage 4 cancer, only 45 with 3 young kids. While it's hard for me to relate, I can't imagine walking away from her now. The hard times in life is when you'll find who you're most true friends are.
The quote is so true, We have friends for a reson, a season & a lifetime. Besides my Hubby & sisters, I have 2 awesome friends that I met in college nearly 40 yrs ago. I have been blessed. 😊
FRIENDSHIP DATING | As a single woman this conversation sounds exactly like my dating life haha Where do you meet someone? How do you equip yourself to be open to making connection? How to navigate breaking things off if it's not a good fit. Find confidence, don't put too much pressure on things, and allow rejection to be a clear "not for me." VOLUNTEER | That's my best recommendation for meeting people. Find a causes you love - volunteer for local running races, home building organizations, thrift stores, hospitals... This puts you in proximity to people in similar heart postures or schedules. ALSO | Be open to friends in other phases of life.
My sister was just open, talked to everyone in stores, volunteer jobs, etc. but was very careful. She met her next husband at a BBQ at a family friend. He was widowed 5 years and it was very old fashioned courtship for a year and then marriage. My other sister didn't marry again but she met a very old boyfriend from her twenties in an ice cream shop she went in and was thinking she shouldn't, and he hadn't changed that much. They dated for 2 years and didn't have as much in common but keep in touch and go out on occasion.
I met my best friend in 1992. After. I met her she and my mother were in a community meeting. When my mother found out where she lived Mom said you should meet my daughter. When my bf asked "what is your daughters name" turns out we had connected a few weeks prior. I'm also still friends with my college choir mate. We met when we were 18. We will be 70 this year. We talk every couple of weeks or so.
I have acquaintances but no real good friends anymore. The good friends I had have all moved so far away and life has just gotten in the way of staying connected.
Love ya both! I have a recent new friend and I'm still reluctant sometimes about letting people in..... when you get older, good friends are hard to come by ❤. You said it right that sometimes people come to us because they need us. I've found though, that brings me comfort.
My score is 1. Past 5 years retired and taking care of stroke disabled husband has isolated me. I have nice acquaintances at church but limited interaction. I have nice Facebook friends too. I need a nearby pop-in go for a coffee or a walk friend. I’m sad.
My heart breaks for you. Diana’s Bible study group is a great opportunity to connect with other woman that are in your very same situation. You are not alone!
Excellent topic, and one I think was embarassing for many of us to admit, especially those for whom friends came 'easy' at earlier seasons of life. I will agree that you take on a dog as a major lifetime commentment, but I recently lost my dog of 12 years. And wasn't ready to get a new one so I noted how natural it was when walking him to get smiles, or 'nice dog' or other seemingly simple interactions. When I was walking alone, those dropped by more than half. They are indeed an entry point for connection. There are others tips that can help get us out of isolation, so I'm glad you're taking this topic on. Thank you.
Similarly to having a dog, there are many features one could have that serve as a "conversation starter" in public. You could be pregnant or disabled, or dye your hair a funky color. Or wear interesting clothes. Some people, even their gait may be comment-worthy. If you want to be interesting, make yourself interesting. 🙃
I'm not a friend person since my best friend passed away years ago. I'm hard to get close to and Susie was my bestie since 7 th grade. I have a friend, but all I do is listen to her problems and dysfunctional family issues, so I kinda stay away unless she catches me on the phone. She lives 2 hours away. Friends are hard as adults.
If I had a 'dream' friend right now she would be someone who would like to explore a healthy lifestyle and not boss or criticize me. Lord send her my way.
My very best friend is like a sister to me. God definitely put us together 33 years ago. She is my prayer warrior and has been there for me every step of the way from the birth of my children to the death of my Dad. I was there for her in the death of her parents and 2 of her husbands that passed away. I love that woman as a sister in Christ. Our husbands are good friends as well.
Diana & Dawn, this is a great topic. I am a caregiver and basically homebound. I rarely leave my loved one so other than my close neighbors I don't meet many people. Fortunately my next door neighbor and I have become friends, are both caregivers, both women of faith and have similar values. We both help each other out in different ways whenever we can. Before I became a caregiver we lived in a very active community. We played pool, I volunteered, I walked everyday and met many people through the quilts I make (they made them too), went out to eat with friends. Then literally overnight I became a caregiver and every little thing changed. I no longer walk, or do any of the things we used to do together. I've always been very outgoing and the first to strike up a conversation and am never at a loss for words. But these days I'm so busy I just don't even get much time to chat with others. I recently ran to the grocery store (my next door neighbor checked in on my loved on.) On the way out of the store a lady commented on my hair. We both have long, curly hair. We talked for probably a 1/2 hour in the parking lot. We exchanged numbers. She is a Christian and it appears we have a lot in common. When we left we said we'd get together for coffee or lunch. Later I wondered how on earth I could do that. I can't. Maybe she'd come to my home for tea or a smoothie, but maybe she wouldn't be comfortable with that. I don't know. Many years ago I used to walk with my dog every morning for 1 1/2 hours. We passed a lady walking her new puppy. We'd talk for a few minutes and move on. We saw each other almost every day. Then one day we stopped to talk for at least 1/2 hour, probably longer. Our dogs loved each other. So we decided to walk everyday together (except for Sundays) and these walks were 1 1/2 hours. We were never at a loss for words. We power walked. We had play dates with our dogs. We introduced our husbands who hit it off. Then we'd go to each other's homes for get togethers/meals or go out to eat. Her husband used to laugh at how we never ran out of things to talk about. She was one of the kindest, thoughtful, sweet people I've ever known. When my dog died her and I cried together.
Deb here. I do not know if your town has this but there is a program where someone comes and relieves the caregiver to allow them to have some "me" time.
I found sadly as my kids got older, the friends I had with their friends parents waned. Maybe we didn't have as much in common or maybe they took different paths and we had less in common but it was noticeable as the years went on. I miss some of them.
I am experiencing this. I know life happens and sometimes we go in different directions. It's hard not to wonder if I did something to annoy them or did we just drift apart?
@@lynettestream2131 yes I feel the same, except for one where I think I could’ve been a better friend when she was going through a divorce although it changed the whole dynamic of our friendship and the kids, etc. She found a new group of friends at work who knew her new husband and it was just different and although we chat a couple of times on Facebook a year I could’ve been more supportive. The other friends I have no idea, sometimes they are for a season
I'm 73 and have kept the same 3 friends since 10th grade in high school for all these years. They are truly my treasures in life along with my husband and children. I also made friends with my sister-in-law in 1975 and she and I are still close even though I divorced her husband's brother in 1985. My other most recent friend is my neighbor across the street who moved in about 10 years ago; however, they moved out of the neighborhood two years ago into a bigger house since their family was growing. I still keep in touch with all of them and I am grateful that we are still close friends. My husband and I have mutual friends that we met through his band days back in 1996 and we make dinner dates often with each other throughout the year. Since they live about an hour's drive from us we usually alternate where we get together depending on the weather and what else is going on. I rate my friends satisfaction a definite 10!
I stepped out on a limb about 2yrs to 18 months ago and finally called someone my best friend. I had never had anyone nearly as close, raising kids, being there for one another, praying, playdates, so much life lived!! Then a year ago, after me hosting them for maybe a week in my house (they had moved) I was ghosted. It took me a while to figure it out, because generally she would get back with me in a season where she could. I started to just comment on FB posts a few times a month with encouragement. Then just a like or ❤. But now it's just plainly ghosting. I never would've expected this from someone who was that close. Totally relate to closure is a luxury 😊
Maybe she isn't well in her new place and her feelings are so worse that she is even too far away in your heart to you too - to invite you into this state of life. Maybe you only need a bit more patients or courage to ask her directly?
@@kinderleichtlerneneasypeas6885 possible. But doubtful. She had already been there for 2 yrs. And travels back regularly, so we actually saw each other quite a bit. Her family seems to be doing much better than years past. It really is super strange to go from communicating regularly to absolutely nothing.
I was having a rare day of feeling lonely...even though I have lots of friends, I'm not deeply connected to many...had some tears today, actually. Your topic is timely for me!👍 Thanks for always sharing your cheerfulness & meaningful perspectives, Diana!💯✨️
@@jackieo2403 Thanks for your well-wishes, Jackie. It helped to tell my husband about it when he finished work at the end of the day... You're right, having many friends is not the cure for loneliness. Only Jesus can satisfy our hearts, and I think we'll always struggle with loneliness on this side of heaven...part of the brokenness of this sin-cursed world.🌎 I do think God wants me to be a friend to everyone I cross paths with...everyone needs someone to care about them.♡ Usually it's fun and I've experienced many blessings by reaching out to others around me. But sometimes I get burnt out, too. Everyone needs a few friends who will understand & care for them.🌿 Anyway, I'm blessed and I know I'm just walking through a little valley. Thankful for my Good Shepherd Who leads me to green pastures & still waters and Who restores my soul!🙌
@@jackieo2403 Thanks for your well-wishes, Jackie...it helped to tell my husband about it when he got home from work at the end of the day... I agree that having many friends isn't the cure for loneliness...only Jesus can satisfy our hearts. I think loneliness will be a continual struggle for us here on this side of heaven...part of living in a broken, sin-cursed world. I do think God wants me to be a friend to everyone who crosses my path...so many people need someone to care about them. But I also get tired and wish for a friend who understands & cares for me...🙃 (I have many...just don't get to connect with them as often as I'd like to.) Anyway, I know I'm blessed and that it's just a little valley to walk through again...thankful for my Good Shepherd Who leads me to greener pastures & still waters and Who restores my soul.🌿🙌💜
It was explained to me when I was younger, that if you can count on one hand your true friends, all the rest are acquaintances. I am 60 this year, I also believe it is easier to make friends with parents when your children are small, through school and sport, and that also quite a few people regret moving house when they retire, as they have trouble making friends at that age. Love Jo in Australia xxx
I have the opposite problem. I don’t want close friends. I’m an introvert. When an acquaintance starts getting too personal, wants to get together a lot, talk on phone, typical activities you would think most people would enjoy, I get very uncomfortable. I love being a homemaker, tending my many houseplants, etc but not very social. I am very content walking, swimming, shopping alone. I don’t like phone chit chat. I do relish my church and my interaction with them each Sunday and one of them I consider a good friend. We go out for lunch a couple times a month and I enjoy it but I am so relieved to get back home again. I am very happy and seem to attract people who want to be friends but I cut them off at the pass.
I feel so sen by this comment. I think it is important to know what kind of "friendships" you want/need. I don't think it's a certain number, at least not to me. I'm not really on social media so I don't see people I know "having more friends than me" or whatever. I'm a happy, well adjusted contented person. But according to some articles and "studies" I must be dying of loneliness. Could not be further from the truth .. Know yourself, and truly listen to your heart to know if you more friends. Wanting more friends is different.
I appreciate, Diana, that you are going to speak for those people that just need a friendship right now because they are going through hard things. I feel in the last 15-20 years people have jumped on this band wagon of dumping what they are labeling ‘toxic friendships’. I agree that there are toxic people, but I also think people are using it as an excuse not to have to deal with tough spots in relationships. Just like in marriage, sometimes you have to work hard and work through tough spots. People are too quick to label something toxic and end relationships.
I think we have to be able to differentiate between toxic/narcissistic people and people who are just hurting. If we aren't patient and loving toward people who are hurting, who will be? Who will draw those people in who are afraid to try again? Who will be tender toward them if not us? To me, the thing that Identifies a narcissist is that they will show signs of having contempt for you (unfortunately, that tends to come after some time). Another red flag is feeling you have to explain yourself over "misunderstandings", which often leads to feeling like you're having to walk on eggshells. With people like that, exit stage right ASAP.
I had plenty of friends growing up, but now probably just have acquaintances. I'm pretty sure it's intentional because I feel friendships, these days, come with conditions. They are almost as much work as a marriage. What I find is that when kids are involved, there's that instant connection. Without kids, friends seem to be more needy. My good friends are the ones that I may not talk to for months, or even longer, and we pick up like we just saw each other yesterday. I can't be friends with someone that keeps track - they'll say, you never call, or, I haven't seen you in over a week. Just looking for unconditional friendships, which are so hard to find.
I find at 60, acquaintances will have to do. Maybe I'll meet a friend but most my age are very settled already, introverts (I'm leaning that way) or don't want to spend the energy to retell their life. I'm blessed that although I lost some friends when I married a man of a different race ( so odd to think today) I met an old friend in lamaze class and a wonderful woman at my condo when our kids were the same age. We stayed close for over 10 years. I wont mourn it because it was a gift from God and a season of good memories.
Every time I’ve prayed for a wonderful, godly friends-God provided. I’ve homeschooled 4 kids now ages 17,19,21,23… I spend so much time with my kids that I realized I was spending no time with old friends. My husband was a pastor for years so all the moves. We’ve been here 10 years and we started teaching couples class 3 years ago (I’m 53) and I started doing a text group with girls every week of prayer requests, what’s going on, coffee plans-it’s wonderful! We see each other in class each Sunday and I text each week and everyone joins in-I had to initiate it but now we all do coffee and socials. It’s never too late. I have friends of “20-25” years as well, but these girls all are going through raising teens/young adults moving out. It’s a blessing! 💕 pray and initiate! They were total strangers 3 years ago!
I relate to Dawn on this one. Friendship can be heartbreaking when things don’t work out (for whatever reason).. makes me hesitant to want to try again, but I’m extroverted and feel I need a local friend. Ugh. 😅
As an older empty nester (no longer have the kids friends parents around, no longer involved in the volunteer programs at school, the church we go to is large so no chance to get close there…) it becomes a challenge! Where we had “couple friends” from years and years ago, divorce by a couple of them tore that apart. I lost my very best soul friend to cancer. One of the most hurtful sceneries was when we introduced our best friend couple to another couple….we all did things together for a while until they must have decided they’d rather do things by themselves. Then my husband developed a health issue and we barely hear from them any longer. Yes, we both still have friends, good friends……, but it’s not the same as when you are at your stage of life. Hold your friendships and treasure them. It may take effort during a busy time of life, but someday the kids will be grown and gone and no one wants to be alone.
Words cannot express how hopeful I am that someone i have developed trust in is actually talking about this topic. THANK YOU. And to Dawn. Thanks for letting me know i am not alone in a hard relationship situation. And the book recommendation too.. Blessings to each of you today. And again, I can see that we shop at the same places. One of these days I am going to smile at you in person!
At every point in my life where I've needed support, no-one has ever been there for me even though I'm always there for them. A friend of 20+ years just cut me off without a word; another friend of 30+ didn't contact me again when I left the organisation we both worked for - and even my ex of 5 years who I'd supported in every way abandoned me the day after my parent died. So I don't want any more 'friends' in my life - if I've got to do life alone I will do so - and when the phone rings asking me for help, I'm now 'busy' (permanently)!
@susannefitzpatrick9955 I feel you!!! I could write a book, but no one would believe it. 😂 The last 2 - 3 years have been a total nightmare. The level of betrayal from multiple friends and family has been through the roof. I just keep praying for the Lord to send me one good (true) friend, but only when the time is right. I simply don’t want the stress of it anymore! I pray He sends you a true friend also when the time is right!🙏🏻
I became my husband's caretaker and it's basically just us we have no other family and live in a small town very rural. Friends have kids and other family and have come and gone .others seem to gravitate towards me like I'm available for them and there needs. I wish should I say i pray G od would send someone to be a friend just have coffee conversation . Im crying just thinking how alone I feel thanks great video
I’ve always said I only have acquaintances except my husband who was my best friend. When my husband passed there was a difference even in those acquaintances. But God has put a friend in my life who was one of those acquaintances as her husband passed 3 weeks before mine passed. So we have something in common and understanding as no one else understands what we are going through.
Nobody talks about this topic. Thank you for choosing it. One of my daughters is in her early 30, lives an hour from family, works from home but also has a part time job in the evenings at a cute little shop downtown. It's been so good for her to have this evening job. She gets out of her apartment, does something completely different than her day job and is meeting new people. She has made one or two new friends because of this job. I just came home from a trip out east. Every 3-5 years this group of college friends gets together. We've done this for 43 years. It was such a wonderful 5 days. We all reconnect. We share joys and trial, we go out and do things in the area for 3 days, catch up on each other's lives, cook and eat together, do a LOT of laughing and reminiscing. Even though we live all across the US, this conscious effort has kept us close over the years. Friendship needs to be an effort on both parties.
I’ve always had a lot of friends high school, church. Then one by one they moved out of state, I lost many many friends. You say you will keep in touch and it does last for awhile but after years one or both drop out. Now at 74 I’m not sure I have the enthusiasm it takes to make more friends. I find I’m actually more picky and not as flexible to maintain a friendship. At income tax time I met the accountant’s secretary whom I think I would like but I haven’t made the move to invite her to have coffee, guess I won’t know unless i try… now doesn’t that sound like high school lol
I appreciate this video. I've been lonely for some time. I have some close friends but we're all busy and I'm the one who homeschools. I've been praying for like-minded female friends who also homeschool similarly. Just people who would understand this season and encourage my walk with Christ.
I am in the same boot here and homeschool moms are very difficult ladies bacause it varies very much how they do their teaching and that often leads to judgment from their other side. Sadly christian moms are sometimes not tollant enough...
I’m at a 8 score. I have 2 close friends but my best friend is my cousin who lives in Canada and I’m in CT so we don’t see each other maybe every 5 years but we talk EVERYDAY. We’re seeing eachother for 2 weeks this summer so we’re so excited.
One sided "friendships" have been the norm for me my entire life, but also I've had the blessing of three true friends. I've lost so many friends in my lifetime to death, but Jesus Christ leads me and my faith has gotten me thru some unbearable events in my lifetime. Losing those friends prepared me for the death of my son.
Sometimes we have to take a moment and think about what friendship looks like. It can vary depending on the stage of life we are in. A friend of mine lives three states away, we were the closest of friends in college. Now we feel fortunate to catch up through messaging when we can. While another friend and I like to go for walks, but she lives 3 miles away. I cherish all my friends, however, proximity does make a big difference in what we are able to do together.
And Dawn and Diane, you both are inspiring in so many ways, how lucky are we to feel your friendship and kindred spirits helping so many women! Thank you!
My husband and I moved across country two years ago. I was 64 and hubby 75. The first place we found friends was in the church where we landed. Next was the gym where we work out and finally through some hobbies - quilting and knitting. Tomorrow I'm hosting a knitting get together and a couple of the ladies that are coming I've never met!
Dawn doesn’t have any friends 😂 what great click bait! Dawn maybe doesn’t need any friends bc she has 7 million of us following her around hanging on her every word and action 😂 We love you too Diana! You give in different and balancing ways from Dawn. You two make good twins 🥰
Lonely and isolation are two different conditions. Easy to mix them up in our heads and hearts. But a bunch of "friends" isn't always the answer to either. Good topic and a lot to unpack.
Diana, I'm glad you changed the title to "why we" verses "why Dawn" doesn't have any friends. (Diana I was afraid that sounded to harsh to our wonderful Dawn)
The circle of friends I still have and treasure - were made when our kiddos were 2-3. Neighbors, church, school etc. our kids are all in their late thirties and early forties. Have families. We’ve had triumphs, and sorrows, both for ourselves and our children. We’ve buried parents and supported each other through the caring for stages when they were elderly. Now in our sixties- we talk, text, catch up co finally. Some of us have even moved. We know how blessed we are and state that daily.
I am at. a #10 with friends .. I'm 73 and have many friends..many of these friends are over 45 years of friendship. . we do coffee / dinners . I work hard with keeping friendships alive . I make time for phone calls and coffee dates. or lunch dates.
My closest friends live in different states (we write, email, send cards). Here, I have a few acquaintances, really good neighbors, plus my church family. That's enough for me (for now). I do, however, look forward to heaven where we will be one big happy family forever!
Bless you, Dawn. I am with you on the friendship letdown. I still feel whiplash from 2 close relationships that knocked me for a loop. Admittedly, I'm super guarded now.
I have a ton of friends. Just because I don't talk to a friend doesn't make me think any less of the friend. 😂 Life happens. It isn't personal in most of the cases and people get busy and life flies by.
Can I just be BFFs with you 2 girls? 😉 I'm being silly, but I think you both are awesome. I look forward to your new videos each week, like talking to friends. ☺️
Oh this has been my struggle. I have been putting myself out there over and over with no reciprocation. And then social media- that comparison trap- makes you feel like everyone is getting together all around you. My husband and I have been praying for community and have joined small groups etc and still haven’t felt truly connected. I believe that God has us in this season for a reason and I am leaning into Him and spending more time in my Bible than ever before. Maybe He just wants me to realize that no earthly friendship is going to fill my hole and need for connection like He does! Ps- Dawn, if you lived in Michigan, we would be the best of friends. Love your channel and I speak about decluttering and simple living to everyone I meet
Just wait until you're retired and try to keep old friends and make new friends. It's super tough! The kids are all grown and busy with their own families. Work friends are often still working. Other formerly close friends live many miles away, even in the same state (I live in the Fort Worth area... It's big!)
Trying not to cry…. This was hard. I have always “not fit in.” It was easier when I had children - it seems like you’re friends with the other parents. But more than once I’ve had someone who I thought was my friend just outright tell me, “We are not friends.” Like, way more than once. Likewise, I have also had friends who I “ghosted” - my last friend because my therapist explained to me she really wasn’t my friend. (I still feel enormous guilt, but Jordan Peterson finally got me to see that if you can’t share something good in your life with someone, they’re not your friend.) We stopped talking two, maybe three years ago, and I am more at peace (not having to pretend to be someone I’m not just to have a friend), but I worry about my husband and myself being so alone. It is especially hard when all of these painful friendships have been at church. We haven’t been to church in a long time - and frankly I don’t want to go back and be the “weird people who never fit in.” (It doesn’t help that our adult children are living very worldly lives. I am so heartbroken and so ashamed.) I so wish I had a friend to walk through this season with, and have signed up for the course.
Rhonda, You raised your kids right. Don’t give up on them in prayer. God can do the most amazing things. My adult son has never “fit in”. I understand. Praying for you and your family. Just give them to Him daily and trust Jesus. He says to cast every care on Him. 🙏🥰😘
To have friends it is easy. But to keep the friendship, it is hard. It is like having a lot of plants. And those plants need a lot of time to take care of them. It takes parts of our time and money. As adults, we have jobs, kids, family, pets, and more to take care of it. But I think we can give some of our time for doing community work. That can meet other people.
I think I’m at a 7 or 8 with my friends right now. For the longest time, my closest friends were from high school (and I’m 65), but I was blessed to find a great church community 20 years ago, and have made great friends there. Since they’re church friends, I see them often at worship, choir rehearsal, etc. also 8 years ago we moved into our forever home, and lucked into a wonderful community. My hubby has guy friends here, and the women have formed a book club! I even have a neighbor friend who could be my sister! I am blessed!
I'm LOVING all the recent videos in general, but especially the videos pairing up with Dawn. Keep on keeping on with positivity, spiritual messages, and friendly sister banter/comedy. ❤❤❤
I think this is a Midwest thing since that is who I hear it from most often. Kids implies multiple so does girls, boys ...etc. why, then do you say boyses? Kidses? We know you mean multiple with just one s. I was brought up by a school teacher and thankful for being corrected when I made a blunder.
Very timely for me in a number of ways. A summer of connection is what I pray for, not just for me but my husband & kids who each have their own challenges to face. I'm ready to help them move forward with this xx 🙏
Diana, I just want to say I love you so much. You are beautiful ❤️ And for being a mom of small four kids, you are rocking it! Keep leaning on the Lord, His light is shining through you, friend!
i have basically no friends but the ones that really matter to me are long-distance, it's kind of a bummer. prolly a result of this age of internet. hoping to make friends at the church i just barely started going to though, i'm hopeful.
Love this. I had tons of church friends prior to Covid and a church split. I still speak with many now and feel they’d drop whatever to help me however we don’t get together like we used to. Our children are all grown up now too.
Most of my friends live quite a few miles away or states away. I only have one close by friend and she's a single mom and works full time so we only get to see each other once or twice a year. I don't have kids so its really hard to make friends and also I don't like normal women stuff. I like cars, trucks, semi trucks, fishing, hiking, camping, eat very strict keto so that's also a issue. I will probably go through life mostly by myself, hubby is a truck driver and gone quite often, only person I have to spend time with is my mom or dad. My mom has fewer friends than I do. I have no siblings either. I've been going to the same church off and on for like 10 years and still don't know anybody, maybe its me.
I had a friend that I NEEDED to separate from, she had become so toxic that my faith was suffering, but I gave the friendship several years in case she came around and I didn't want to end the friendship while she was in a serious health battle. Finally I realized that she was always in some serious turmoil so I just had to walk away, it felt icky, but my health got better and my faith rebounded. I did not realize how much that friendship was harming me.
Interesting video. There seems to be a real situation seldom addressed. I will try to explain. Elderly or very elderly folks whose spouse and every close friends have passed away. Living ai. Retirement community with other oldies who I have virtuely nothing in common with. Am a Southerner living among very much non Southerns. Seems they rather group with other Northern folks … who share the things they had before. I am children who are wonderful. Many live 4.5 hours driving fast from where I live. Daughter who lives close had serious health issues etc. in so many ways I am alone, yes with a cute funny fluffy small dogs. It also takes a very long time for an acquaintance to become a friend. Thank you for letting vent. 🌻
It is so hard to make friends once the kids are grown and gone. I don’t work and just don’t “bump into” people I long to spend time with! My “closest” friend lives in another country. :-( I give myself a score of 2.
My best and only friend of just shy of 24 years passed away this year. At age 57 with no husband and no children it is difficult to make new friends. May I ask you to pray that I find my new people. Thank you. God Bless.
Ever since I broke my femur unfortunately I feel like I'm just a big burden I'm pretty much a loner . Truly grateful for a very small circle of people that are in my life. Although like everything else in life don't always get to see them but we stay in touch.
I have gone through a season of releasing friendships. It’s been hard. in the last 2 years. I have let go of 4 friendships that were extremely important to me once upon a time. I think the biggest thing that helped me through was to recognize that my expectations of the relationship is what I had to let go of. I was putting my fullest into it and wanting the same. When I was no longer serving the purpose in their life that they wanted then they stopped being a friend to me. I grieved hard, but it pointed me and my energy into another area of my life. Now a new season has begun.
Wow you and Diana talk on the phone and every day? Wow that is awesome. Most people text and don't talk and then it is not every day at this. I wish but as a 56 year old woman friendships are hard to make and find.
One big problem with the lonliness epidemic is that the Christian church doesn't want singles, particularly single women. Single women are the pariahs of the church since we're seen as on the hunt and aiming for all the men (sorry, I've seen those men.). Churches just want young families. I tried to explain this to a church worker while she was insisting that the "family" picnics were for all parishioners. Normal singles don't want to look like weirdos hanging out at the family picnic.
Every two weeks, I host Buddies night. 5 friends come over and we BBQ. Sometimes they bring the wife and kids, sometimes it's just us. But everyone has an open invitation to bring guests with them. Have found two new friends in the last year.
I live by an old saying
“when it comes to friends, I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies”
I remember my mom saying that in her thirties she felt like her friends had all been stripped away, for one reason or another. She was an incredibly friendly person, so it wasn’t for the lack of trying. She came to realize that God had led her into a season of no close friends so that she had to fully rely on Him for that need to be fulfilled. And over the years He brought close friends into her life. She passed away a couple of years ago, but that story still resonates with me.
Just thought I would share for anyone who feels like they have done everything to reach out and be a friend, yet haven’t found their people yet. Keep seeking the Lord and reaching out. And let Him be your friend in the waiting.
I think this is beautiful, and helps us to remember that seasons change and the Lord is at the center. Thank you for sharing! 💛
Incredibly helpful. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this! ❤
@AubreyL-35 Thank you for your beautiful comment. : - ) ❤ I went through a terribly sad period in my thirties where I also lost a lot of friends, but in retrospect it led me to identifying some harmful patterns from childhood and doing deep healing work that has massively improved my life. It's so helpful to remember that even terribly difficult things can sometimes open the door to blessings. 💖
Beautiful 😊
(Second comment, sorry!!) When I moved to Arkansas from Iowa six years ago, none of our neighbors came to say hi and introduce themselves.
Fast forward six months to Christmas, and I decided it was the perfect time for ME to go to THEM. It’s not weird if you bring cookies at Christmas!
Our Muslim neighbors were so pleased to see us on their doorstep, I thought they were going to cry! Maybe they have experienced prejudice? Our Mexican immigrant neighbors invited us in, and we have been a steady fixture at their kids parties and family celebrations ever since.
Our neighbors have been in our home for dinners, the ladies have come with their daughters for craft days, we have carried food back and forth (authentic moroccan food and Mexican food??? All the YES!!! How lucky are we??)
Their response tells me how much they value being friends with their neighbors too.
More gold, thank you! 🙏💛
That's so nice. When a young couple moved in next door, (Asian/Indian) they brought close neighbors a candy gift with their names and said they hoped to get to know them better in the future. I miss them so much, he had job change after 4 years.
That’s so cool! Well done!
It works not everywhere. I have heard fro a friend she did the same. But the neighbors was not kind or even want to have the cookies. This was in Ireland... She was very sad and upset too. She had to look for friends more farther, but it' s still sad if your neighbors ignore you - sometimes we relay on them - all of us.
@@kinderleichtlerneneasypeas6885 that's sad but I can see it happening. We should know our neighbors. We had someone who lived alone found dead on adjacent street to us. Neighbors are trying now to find a way to reach out to single home dwellers to not have that happen again.
I've always said that a true friend is someone who will sit with you through an "ugly cry", be by your bedside if you're in the hospital and give you a ride to the airport. It's a real miracle if it's all three in one person!😄
Love this 💛
I have had that friend for forty-six years now. We have had disagreements, hurt feelings etc. but have always been able to get past them and forgive and carry on. The best!
Yes! And SO rare!❤
I am so lucky to have two of these people in my life. One has been my friend for 52 years (we met when I was three and she was two) and the other has been my friend for 33 years (we met at work)! The best thing is that they have become friends with each other! We have been through marriages, babies,divorces, health scares, EVERYTHING! They live in Massachusetts and I am now in Chicago, but we do our best to talk and do Zooms or FaceTimes. When I had surgery, they flew out here to help take care of me for a weekend! I feel blessed every day that I have TWO best friends! I’m also lucky to have a friend group here who I met through our kids’ swim team. Only one of the kids is still swimming on the team, but we have all stuck together and try to go out as often as we can schedule.
And bail you out😂
I have a neighbor that wants to be my “friend “ but from a distance I notice all her friends are free babysitters and house sitters and I don’t want that. So I just stay to myself and enjoy family and my true best friend. I should also say I’m an introvert and I love my alone time.
Good eye-being helpful is one thing, but then there are those that believe sharing means 'you give me yours'.
Sometimes people do use the other person and I had to wean from them. It's always sad that you are just a sounding board or babysitter.
❤ I so enjoyed lockdown. For a while anyway😂😂😂
Lol...who else are you getting together with, besides me? Spoken like a true sister!!
😂 Love it!
Finally the shoe is on the other foot, for the longest time Dawn was the one with all of the friends! Lol. She’s a gem 💛💛💛
@@DianaKokku You both are!!
Dawn, you look so pretty in pink!!💖
Wow, that was a great video on a tricky subject. You both converse so well together and come across so, I don’t know, so.. honest and never insulting to each other…. Just so much on the same page, and make these awkward conversations very doable and normal, lol Great job 🙂
For two people who are so young, your insight and reflections are very good, not just on this video, but all your videos….. Thanks for sharing.
Such a great statement, Dawn: "Forgiveness doesn't always look like reconciliation". Thank you so much! I needed to hear that.
That' s true. But it' s hard in the same way, if people do it to youselfe and you really like them...
My bestie is fighting stage 4 cancer, only 45 with 3 young kids. While it's hard for me to relate, I can't imagine walking away from her now. The hard times in life is when you'll find who you're most true friends are.
LOL moment Dawn, "Who else are you getting together with besides ME?" I heard my two daughters in that so loud and clear! Loved it!
The quote is so true, We have friends for a reson, a season & a lifetime. Besides my Hubby & sisters, I have 2 awesome friends that I met in college nearly 40 yrs ago. I have been blessed. 😊
FRIENDSHIP DATING | As a single woman this conversation sounds exactly like my dating life haha Where do you meet someone? How do you equip yourself to be open to making connection? How to navigate breaking things off if it's not a good fit. Find confidence, don't put too much pressure on things, and allow rejection to be a clear "not for me."
VOLUNTEER | That's my best recommendation for meeting people. Find a causes you love - volunteer for local running races, home building organizations, thrift stores, hospitals... This puts you in proximity to people in similar heart postures or schedules.
ALSO | Be open to friends in other phases of life.
My sister was just open, talked to everyone in stores, volunteer jobs, etc. but was very careful. She met her next husband at a BBQ at a family friend. He was widowed 5 years and it was very old fashioned courtship for a year and then marriage. My other sister didn't marry again but she met a very old boyfriend from her twenties in an ice cream shop she went in and was thinking she shouldn't, and he hadn't changed that much. They dated for 2 years and didn't have as much in common but keep in touch and go out on occasion.
I met my best friend in 1992. After. I met her she and my mother were in a community meeting. When my mother found out where she lived Mom said you should meet my daughter. When my bf asked "what is your daughters name" turns out we had connected a few weeks prior. I'm also still friends with my college choir mate. We met when we were 18. We will be 70 this year. We talk every couple of weeks or so.
I have acquaintances but no real good friends anymore. The good friends I had have all moved so far away and life has just gotten in the way of staying connected.
Love ya both! I have a recent new friend and I'm still reluctant sometimes about letting people in..... when you get older, good friends are hard to come by ❤. You said it right that sometimes people come to us because they need us. I've found though, that brings me comfort.
My score is 1. Past 5 years retired and taking care of stroke disabled husband has isolated me. I have nice acquaintances at church but limited interaction. I have nice Facebook friends too. I need a nearby pop-in go for a coffee or a walk friend. I’m sad.
Being a caregiver is so isolating…🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Shelly, I sent up a prayer for you. It is so hard to feel isolated. ❤
Praying for you.
My heart breaks for you. Diana’s Bible study group is a great opportunity to connect with other woman that are in your very same situation. You are not alone!
I pray that God can show you a person who could be a friend for you - or bring in a new person in church.
Excellent topic, and one I think was embarassing for many of us to admit, especially those for whom friends came 'easy' at earlier seasons of life. I will agree that you take on a dog as a major lifetime commentment, but I recently lost my dog of 12 years. And wasn't ready to get a new one so I noted how natural it was when walking him to get smiles, or 'nice dog' or other seemingly simple interactions. When I was walking alone, those dropped by more than half. They are indeed an entry point for connection. There are others tips that can help get us out of isolation, so I'm glad you're taking this topic on. Thank you.
Similarly to having a dog, there are many features one could have that serve as a "conversation starter" in public. You could be pregnant or disabled, or dye your hair a funky color. Or wear interesting clothes. Some people, even their gait may be comment-worthy. If you want to be interesting, make yourself interesting. 🙃
I'm not a friend person since my best friend passed away years ago. I'm hard to get close to and Susie was my bestie since 7 th grade. I have a friend, but all I do is listen to her problems and dysfunctional family issues, so I kinda stay away unless she catches me on the phone. She lives 2 hours away. Friends are hard as adults.
At 68 I don’t have any friends, never really did.
If I had a 'dream' friend right now she would be someone who would like to explore a healthy lifestyle and not boss or criticize me. Lord send her my way.
My very best friend is like a sister to me. God definitely put us together 33 years ago. She is my prayer warrior and has been there for me every step of the way from the birth of my children to the death of my Dad. I was there for her in the death of her parents and 2 of her husbands that passed away. I love that woman as a sister in Christ. Our husbands are good friends as well.
Such a gift!! 💛
Diana & Dawn, this is a great topic. I am a caregiver and basically homebound. I rarely leave my loved one so other than my close neighbors I don't meet many people. Fortunately my next door neighbor and I have become friends, are both caregivers, both women of faith and
have similar values. We both help each other out in different ways whenever we can.
Before I became a caregiver we lived in a very active community. We played pool, I volunteered, I walked everyday and met many people through the quilts I make (they made them too), went out to eat with friends. Then literally overnight I became a caregiver and every little thing changed. I no longer walk, or do any of the things we used to do together. I've always been very outgoing and the first to strike up a conversation and am never at a loss for words. But these days I'm so busy I just don't even get much time to chat with others.
I recently ran to the grocery store (my next door neighbor checked in on my loved on.) On the way out of the store a lady commented on my hair. We both have long, curly hair. We talked for probably a 1/2 hour in the parking lot. We exchanged numbers. She is a Christian and it appears we have a lot in common. When we left we said we'd get together for coffee or lunch. Later I wondered how on earth I could do that. I can't. Maybe she'd come to my home for tea or a smoothie, but maybe she wouldn't be comfortable with that. I don't know.
Many years ago I used to walk with my dog every morning for 1 1/2 hours. We passed a lady walking her new puppy. We'd talk for a few minutes and move on. We saw each other almost every day. Then one day we stopped to talk for at least 1/2 hour, probably longer. Our dogs loved each other. So we decided to walk everyday together (except for Sundays) and these walks were 1 1/2 hours. We were never at a loss for words. We power walked. We had play dates with our dogs. We introduced our husbands who hit it off. Then we'd go to each other's homes for get togethers/meals or go out to eat. Her husband used to laugh at how we never ran out of things to talk about. She was one of the kindest, thoughtful, sweet people I've ever known. When my dog died her and I cried together.
Sorry for what you’re going through. 💕
Deb here. I do not know if your town has this but there is a program where someone comes and relieves the caregiver to allow them to have some "me" time.
I read everything you wrote. You seem lovely. God bless!
You could bake a cake and invite her to your home... If she really like you she will come... It musts't be a coffe shop to meet. I think so...
I have very few true friends. Most are acquaintances. I’m okay with that because most people are mean. Jesus is my best friend so I’m glad
I don't think most people are mean.. sorry you think that of those you know. Keep trying
I found sadly as my kids got older, the friends I had with their friends parents waned. Maybe we didn't have as much in common or maybe they took different paths and we had less in common but it was noticeable as the years went on. I miss some of them.
I am experiencing this. I know life happens and sometimes we go in different directions. It's hard not to wonder if I did something to annoy them or did we just drift apart?
@@lynettestream2131 yes I feel the same, except for one where I think I could’ve been a better friend when she was going through a divorce although it changed the whole dynamic of our friendship and the kids, etc. She found a new group of friends at work who knew her new husband and it was just different and although we chat a couple of times on Facebook a year I could’ve been more supportive. The other friends I have no idea, sometimes they are for a season
I'm 73 and have kept the same 3 friends since 10th grade in high school for all these years. They are truly my treasures in life along with my husband and children. I also made friends with my sister-in-law in 1975 and she and I are still close even though I divorced her husband's brother in 1985. My other most recent friend is my neighbor across the street who moved in about 10 years ago; however, they moved out of the neighborhood two years ago into a bigger house since their family was growing. I still keep in touch with all of them and I am grateful that we are still close friends. My husband and I have mutual friends that we met through his band days back in 1996 and we make dinner dates often with each other throughout the year. Since they live about an hour's drive from us we usually alternate where we get together depending on the weather and what else is going on. I rate my friends satisfaction a definite 10!
I stepped out on a limb about 2yrs to 18 months ago and finally called someone my best friend. I had never had anyone nearly as close, raising kids, being there for one another, praying, playdates, so much life lived!!
Then a year ago, after me hosting them for maybe a week in my house (they had moved) I was ghosted.
It took me a while to figure it out, because generally she would get back with me in a season where she could.
I started to just comment on FB posts a few times a month with encouragement. Then just a like or ❤.
But now it's just plainly ghosting.
I never would've expected this from someone who was that close.
Totally relate to closure is a luxury 😊
Sadly, it happens. 😢
@@vero1mart 🥹
Maybe she isn't well in her new place and her feelings are so worse that she is even too far away in your heart to you too - to invite you into this state of life. Maybe you only need a bit more patients or courage to ask her directly?
@@kinderleichtlerneneasypeas6885 possible. But doubtful.
She had already been there for 2 yrs. And travels back regularly, so we actually saw each other quite a bit.
Her family seems to be doing much better than years past.
It really is super strange to go from communicating regularly to absolutely nothing.
I was having a rare day of feeling lonely...even though I have lots of friends, I'm not deeply connected to many...had some tears today, actually. Your topic is timely for me!👍 Thanks for always sharing your cheerfulness & meaningful perspectives, Diana!💯✨️
This is an example of having lots of friends but still lonely. Just having a big number is not the answer. Hope your feeling better...
I am having one of those days too. Hugs girl!
@@jackieo2403 Thanks for your well-wishes, Jackie. It helped to tell my husband about it when he finished work at the end of the day...
You're right, having many friends is not the cure for loneliness. Only Jesus can satisfy our hearts, and I think we'll always struggle with loneliness on this side of heaven...part of the brokenness of this sin-cursed world.🌎 I do think God wants me to be a friend to everyone I cross paths with...everyone needs someone to care about them.♡ Usually it's fun and I've experienced many blessings by reaching out to others around me. But sometimes I get burnt out, too. Everyone needs a few friends who will understand & care for them.🌿
Anyway, I'm blessed and I know I'm just walking through a little valley. Thankful for my Good Shepherd Who leads me to green pastures & still waters and Who restores my soul!🙌
@@jackieo2403 Thanks for your well-wishes, Jackie...it helped to tell my husband about it when he got home from work at the end of the day...
I agree that having many friends isn't the cure for loneliness...only Jesus can satisfy our hearts. I think loneliness will be a continual struggle for us here on this side of heaven...part of living in a broken, sin-cursed world.
I do think God wants me to be a friend to everyone who crosses my path...so many people need someone to care about them. But I also get tired and wish for a friend who understands & cares for me...🙃 (I have many...just don't get to connect with them as often as I'd like to.)
Anyway, I know I'm blessed and that it's just a little valley to walk through again...thankful for my Good Shepherd Who leads me to greener pastures & still waters and Who restores my soul.🌿🙌💜
It was explained to me when I was younger, that if you can count on one hand your true friends, all the rest are acquaintances. I am 60 this year, I also believe it is easier to make friends with parents when your children are small, through school and sport, and that also quite a few people regret moving house when they retire, as they have trouble making friends at that age.
Love Jo in Australia xxx
I have the opposite problem. I don’t want close friends. I’m an introvert. When an acquaintance starts getting too personal, wants to get together a lot, talk on phone, typical activities you would think most people would enjoy, I get very uncomfortable. I love being a homemaker, tending my many houseplants, etc but not very social. I am very content walking, swimming, shopping alone. I don’t like phone chit chat. I do relish my church and my interaction with them each Sunday and one of them I consider a good friend. We go out for lunch a couple times a month and I enjoy it but I am so relieved to get back home again. I am very happy and seem to attract people who want to be friends but I cut them off at the pass.
I relate to everything here ❤️
Me too.
Same! It’s so peaceful just being with me…and my husband. Our kids are grown and I am just fine without all the outside noise!
You do you. Finding a true friend is a gem.
I feel so sen by this comment. I think it is important to know what kind of "friendships" you want/need. I don't think it's a certain number, at least not to me. I'm not really on social media so I don't see people I know "having more friends than me" or whatever. I'm a happy, well adjusted contented person. But according to some articles and "studies" I must be dying of loneliness. Could not be further from the truth .. Know yourself, and truly listen to your heart to know if you more friends. Wanting more friends is different.
I tried small groups at church. YUCK. Expectation to become instant intimate friends when you may have zero in common? Yuck again.
I appreciate, Diana, that you are going to speak for those people that just need a friendship right now because they are going through hard things. I feel in the last 15-20 years people have jumped on this band wagon of dumping what they are labeling ‘toxic friendships’. I agree that there are toxic people, but I also think people are using it as an excuse not to have to deal with tough spots in relationships. Just like in marriage, sometimes you have to work hard and work through tough spots. People are too quick to label something toxic and end relationships.
I think we have to be able to differentiate between toxic/narcissistic people and people who are just hurting.
If we aren't patient and loving toward people who are hurting, who will be? Who will draw those people in who are afraid to try again? Who will be tender toward them if not us?
To me, the thing that Identifies a narcissist is that they will show signs of having contempt for you (unfortunately, that tends to come after some time). Another red flag is feeling you have to explain yourself over "misunderstandings", which often leads to feeling like you're having to walk on eggshells. With people like that, exit stage right ASAP.
Love what you do, thank you for your sound and relatable wisdom! Currently praying for Godly friendships for our kids as well! 💕 Be blessed! 😊
I had plenty of friends growing up, but now probably just have acquaintances. I'm pretty sure it's intentional because I feel friendships, these days, come with conditions. They are almost as much work as a marriage. What I find is that when kids are involved, there's that instant connection. Without kids, friends seem to be more needy. My good friends are the ones that I may not talk to for months, or even longer, and we pick up like we just saw each other yesterday. I can't be friends with someone that keeps track - they'll say, you never call, or, I haven't seen you in over a week. Just looking for unconditional friendships, which are so hard to find.
I find at 60, acquaintances will have to do. Maybe I'll meet a friend but most my age are very settled already, introverts (I'm leaning that way) or don't want to spend the energy to retell their life. I'm blessed that although I lost some friends when I married a man of a different race ( so odd to think today) I met an old friend in lamaze class and a wonderful woman at my condo when our kids were the same age. We stayed close for over 10 years. I wont mourn it because it was a gift from God and a season of good memories.
I have a very small circle of close friends, but they are enough and always there for me.
Every time I’ve prayed for a wonderful, godly friends-God provided. I’ve homeschooled 4 kids now ages 17,19,21,23… I spend so much time with my kids that I realized I was spending no time with old friends. My husband was a pastor for years so all the moves. We’ve been here 10 years and we started teaching couples class 3 years ago (I’m 53) and I started doing a text group with girls every week of prayer requests, what’s going on, coffee plans-it’s wonderful! We see each other in class each Sunday and I text each week and everyone joins in-I had to initiate it but now we all do coffee and socials. It’s never too late. I have friends of “20-25” years as well, but these girls all are going through raising teens/young adults moving out. It’s a blessing! 💕 pray and initiate! They were total strangers 3 years ago!
I relate to Dawn on this one. Friendship can be heartbreaking when things don’t work out (for whatever reason).. makes me hesitant to want to try again, but I’m extroverted and feel I need a local friend. Ugh. 😅
Solidarity sister 💛💛💛
I will keep praying for all of us.
I’m relating to Dawn here, too. Better days ahead when we’re ready !
As an older empty nester (no longer have the kids friends parents around, no longer involved in the volunteer programs at school, the church we go to is large so no chance to get close there…) it becomes a challenge! Where we had “couple friends” from years and years ago, divorce by a couple of them tore that apart. I lost my very best soul friend to cancer. One of the most hurtful sceneries was when we introduced our best friend couple to another couple….we all did things together for a while until they must have decided they’d rather do things by themselves. Then my husband developed a health issue and we barely hear from them any longer. Yes, we both still have friends, good friends……, but it’s not the same as when you are at your stage of life. Hold your friendships and treasure them. It may take effort during a busy time of life, but someday the kids will be grown and gone and no one wants to be alone.
My neighbor is 70 years old, and im 33. We bike and play pickle ball. We are in different seasons in our lives. We've built a beautiful relationship.
Words cannot express how hopeful I am that someone i have developed trust in is actually talking about this topic. THANK YOU. And to Dawn. Thanks for letting me know i am not alone in a hard relationship situation. And the book recommendation too..
Blessings to each of you today.
And again, I can see that we shop at the same places. One of these days I am going to smile at you in person!
Always come up and say hi!! And thank you for this sweet encouragement 💛
At every point in my life where I've needed support, no-one has ever been there for me even though I'm always there for them. A friend of 20+ years just cut me off without a word; another friend of 30+ didn't contact me again when I left the organisation we both worked for - and even my ex of 5 years who I'd supported in every way abandoned me the day after my parent died. So I don't want any more 'friends' in my life - if I've got to do life alone I will do so - and when the phone rings asking me for help, I'm now 'busy' (permanently)!
@susannefitzpatrick9955 I feel you!!! I could write a book, but no one would believe it. 😂 The last 2 - 3 years have been a total nightmare. The level of betrayal from multiple friends and family has been through the roof. I just keep praying for the Lord to send me one good (true) friend, but only when the time is right. I simply don’t want the stress of it anymore! I pray He sends you a true friend also when the time is right!🙏🏻
Sometimes we are abandoned by a person so we learn to 'take it to Jesus' for the healing
I became my husband's caretaker and it's basically just us we have no other family and live in a small town very rural. Friends have kids and other family and have come and gone .others seem to gravitate towards me like I'm available for them and there needs. I wish should I say i pray G od would send someone to be a friend just have coffee conversation . Im crying just thinking how alone I feel thanks great video
I will pray with you...
I am trusting god, to bring me a good friend.
I’ve always said I only have acquaintances except my husband who was my best friend. When my husband passed there was a difference even in those acquaintances. But God has put a friend in my life who was one of those acquaintances as her husband passed 3 weeks before mine passed. So we have something in common and understanding as no one else understands what we are going through.
Nobody talks about this topic. Thank you for choosing it. One of my daughters is in her early 30, lives an hour from family, works from home but also has a part time job in the evenings at a cute little shop downtown. It's been so good for her to have this evening job. She gets out of her apartment, does something completely different than her day job and is meeting new people. She has made one or two new friends because of this job.
I just came home from a trip out east. Every 3-5 years this group of college friends gets together. We've done this for 43 years. It was such a wonderful 5 days. We all reconnect. We share joys and trial, we go out and do things in the area for 3 days, catch up on each other's lives, cook and eat together, do a LOT of laughing and reminiscing. Even though we live all across the US, this conscious effort has kept us close over the years. Friendship needs to be an effort on both parties.
@@barbb.7028
Your friend you get together with for 43 years you should write a book sounds to most of us like a fairy tale
God bless
The last sentence was the most importent.
It’s become very acceptable to cancel on people and not make friends a priority. It’s sad.
This is so helpful and encouraging, God bless my favorite twins🥰🙏👍
I’ve always had a lot of friends high school, church. Then one by one they moved out of state, I lost many many friends. You say you will keep in touch and it does last for awhile but after years one or both drop out. Now at 74 I’m not sure I have the enthusiasm it takes to make more friends. I find I’m actually more picky and not as flexible to maintain a friendship. At income tax time I met the accountant’s secretary whom I think I would like but I haven’t made the move to invite her to have coffee, guess I won’t know unless i try… now doesn’t that sound like high school lol
I appreciate this video. I've been lonely for some time. I have some close friends but we're all busy and I'm the one who homeschools. I've been praying for like-minded female friends who also homeschool similarly. Just people who would understand this season and encourage my walk with Christ.
I am in the same boot here and homeschool moms are very difficult ladies bacause it varies very much how they do their teaching and that often leads to judgment from their other side. Sadly christian moms are sometimes not tollant enough...
I’m at a 8 score. I have 2 close friends but my best friend is my cousin who lives in Canada and I’m in CT so we don’t see each other maybe every 5 years but we talk EVERYDAY. We’re seeing eachother for 2 weeks this summer so we’re so excited.
Amazing video hit right in the heart!! Thank you!!
One sided "friendships" have been the norm for me my entire life, but also I've had the blessing of three true friends. I've lost so many friends in my lifetime to death, but Jesus Christ leads me and my faith has gotten me thru some unbearable events in my lifetime. Losing those friends prepared me for the death of my son.
This looked awesome until i saw that youre charging money for it.
Making adult friends is so hard! But, long distance friends has never been easier. I’m at a solid 7 on the friend’s scale.
Sometimes we have to take a moment and think about what friendship looks like. It can vary depending on the stage of life we are in. A friend of mine lives three states away, we were the closest of friends in college. Now we feel fortunate to catch up through messaging when we can. While another friend and I like to go for walks, but she lives 3 miles away. I cherish all my friends, however, proximity does make a big difference in what we are able to do together.
And Dawn and Diane, you both are inspiring in so many ways, how lucky are we to feel your friendship and kindred spirits helping so many women! Thank you!
My husband and I moved across country two years ago. I was 64 and hubby 75. The first place we found friends was in the church where we landed. Next was the gym where we work out and finally through some hobbies - quilting and knitting. Tomorrow I'm hosting a knitting get together and a couple of the ladies that are coming I've never met!
I don’t know what you’re talking about “Dawn doesn’t have any friends”💁♀️
She may not know it….🤣but I consider her one of my besties! 😊❤️
Dawn doesn’t have any friends 😂 what great click bait! Dawn maybe doesn’t need any friends bc she has 7 million of us following her around hanging on her every word and action 😂 We love you too Diana! You give in different and balancing ways from Dawn. You two make good twins 🥰
Lonely and isolation are two different conditions. Easy to mix them up in our heads and hearts. But a bunch of "friends" isn't always the answer to either. Good topic and a lot to unpack.
I may be 4 hours away Dawn, but I am always just a text away. 😉
Diana, I'm glad you changed the title to "why we" verses "why Dawn" doesn't have any friends. (Diana I was afraid that sounded to harsh to our wonderful Dawn)
I knew a Pastor's wife that used to take her laundry to a laundromat so she could meet people to minister to.
Love that!
That's incredible!
Hmm...I wonder if I could get away with just pretending to do laundry...🤫
The circle of friends I still have and treasure - were made when our kiddos were 2-3. Neighbors, church, school etc. our kids are all in their late thirties and early forties. Have families. We’ve had triumphs, and sorrows, both for ourselves and our children. We’ve buried parents and supported each other through the caring for stages when they were elderly. Now in our sixties- we talk, text, catch up co finally. Some of us have even moved. We know how blessed we are and state that daily.
My marriage is on the rocks 😢 if it wasn’t for my Amazing friends this would be a LOT harder
I am at. a #10 with friends .. I'm 73 and have many friends..many of these friends are over 45 years of friendship. . we do coffee / dinners . I work hard with keeping friendships alive . I make time for phone calls and coffee dates. or lunch dates.
My closest friends live in different states (we write, email, send cards). Here, I have a few acquaintances, really good neighbors, plus my church family. That's enough for me (for now). I do, however, look forward to heaven where we will be one big happy family forever!
Bless you, Dawn. I am with you on the friendship letdown. I still feel whiplash from 2 close relationships that knocked me for a loop. Admittedly, I'm super guarded now.
My Mom, my oldest daughter and my cousin (who is 3 months younger than I am) are my friends (and my husband of course!)
I have a ton of friends. Just because I don't talk to a friend doesn't make me think any less of the friend. 😂 Life happens. It isn't personal in most of the cases and people get busy and life flies by.
Can I just be BFFs with you 2 girls? 😉 I'm being silly, but I think you both are awesome. I look forward to your new videos each week, like talking to friends. ☺️
Oh this has been my struggle. I have been putting myself out there over and over with no reciprocation. And then social media- that comparison trap- makes you feel like everyone is getting together all around you. My husband and I have been praying for community and have joined small groups etc and still haven’t felt truly connected. I believe that God has us in this season for a reason and I am leaning into Him and spending more time in my Bible than ever before. Maybe He just wants me to realize that no earthly friendship is going to fill my hole and need for connection like He does!
Ps- Dawn, if you lived in Michigan, we would be the best of friends. Love your channel and I speak about decluttering and simple living to everyone I meet
Just wait until you're retired and try to keep old friends and make new friends. It's super tough! The kids are all grown and busy with their own families. Work friends are often still working. Other formerly close friends live many miles away, even in the same state (I live in the Fort Worth area... It's big!)
Thanks for making this video! It's helping me think through my friendships And how I want to be intentional with them.
Trying not to cry…. This was hard. I have always “not fit in.” It was easier when I had children - it seems like you’re friends with the other parents. But more than once I’ve had someone who I thought was my friend just outright tell me, “We are not friends.” Like, way more than once. Likewise, I have also had friends who I “ghosted” - my last friend because my therapist explained to me she really wasn’t my friend. (I still feel enormous guilt, but Jordan Peterson finally got me to see that if you can’t share something good in your life with someone, they’re not your friend.) We stopped talking two, maybe three years ago, and I am more at peace (not having to pretend to be someone I’m not just to have a friend), but I worry about my husband and myself being so alone. It is especially hard when all of these painful friendships have been at church. We haven’t been to church in a long time - and frankly I don’t want to go back and be the “weird people who never fit in.” (It doesn’t help that our adult children are living very worldly lives. I am so heartbroken and so ashamed.) I so wish I had a friend to walk through this season with, and have signed up for the course.
Rhonda, You raised your kids right. Don’t give up on them in prayer. God can do the most amazing things. My adult son has never “fit in”. I understand. Praying for you and your family. Just give them to Him daily and trust Jesus. He says to cast every care on Him. 🙏🥰😘
People will fail us but Jesus never will.💕
To have friends it is easy. But to keep the friendship, it is hard. It is like having a lot of plants. And those plants need a lot of time to take care of them. It takes parts of our time and money. As adults, we have jobs, kids, family, pets, and more to take care of it. But I think we can give some of our time for doing community work. That can meet other people.
Great advise-you never know who God places in your path
I think I’m at a 7 or 8 with my friends right now. For the longest time, my closest friends were from high school (and I’m 65), but I was blessed to find a great church community 20 years ago, and have made great friends there. Since they’re church friends, I see them often at worship, choir rehearsal, etc. also 8 years ago we moved into our forever home, and lucked into a wonderful community. My hubby has guy friends here, and the women have formed a book club! I even have a neighbor friend who could be my sister! I am blessed!
I'm LOVING all the recent videos in general, but especially the videos pairing up with Dawn. Keep on keeping on with positivity, spiritual messages, and friendly sister banter/comedy. ❤❤❤
I think this is a Midwest thing since that is who I hear it from most often. Kids implies multiple so does girls, boys ...etc. why, then do you say boyses? Kidses? We know you mean multiple with just one s. I was brought up by a school teacher and thankful for being corrected when I made a blunder.
Great topic gals!
Dawn’s body language when she talks about her score. 😂
Very timely for me in a number of ways. A summer of connection is what I pray for, not just for me but my husband & kids who each have their own challenges to face. I'm ready to help them move forward with this xx 🙏
Diana, I just want to say I love you so much. You are beautiful ❤️ And for being a mom of small four kids, you are rocking it! Keep leaning on the Lord, His light is shining through you, friend!
i have basically no friends but the ones that really matter to me are long-distance, it's kind of a bummer. prolly a result of this age of internet. hoping to make friends at the church i just barely started going to though, i'm hopeful.
Oh Dawn! That sounds so hard! I’m so sorry for your loss of a friend.
Wow! I really don’t have close friends…I have friends at the CrossFit gym.
Dawn has 3000 friends in her mentorship group 😂😂😂 she has more friends than anyone 🤣
😂 she said she's being greedy.
@@TabithaGomes😂😂😂😂
Love this. I had tons of church friends prior to Covid and a church split. I still speak with many now and feel they’d drop whatever to help me however we don’t get together like we used to. Our children are all grown up now too.
Most of my friends live quite a few miles away or states away. I only have one close by friend and she's a single mom and works full time so we only get to see each other once or twice a year. I don't have kids so its really hard to make friends and also I don't like normal women stuff. I like cars, trucks, semi trucks, fishing, hiking, camping, eat very strict keto so that's also a issue. I will probably go through life mostly by myself, hubby is a truck driver and gone quite often, only person I have to spend time with is my mom or dad. My mom has fewer friends than I do. I have no siblings either. I've been going to the same church off and on for like 10 years and still don't know anybody, maybe its me.
I had a friend that I NEEDED to separate from, she had become so toxic that my faith was suffering, but I gave the friendship several years in case she came around and I didn't want to end the friendship while she was in a serious health battle. Finally I realized that she was always in some serious turmoil so I just had to walk away, it felt icky, but my health got better and my faith rebounded. I did not realize how much that friendship was harming me.
Interesting video. There seems to be a real situation seldom addressed. I will try to explain. Elderly or very elderly folks whose spouse and every close friends have passed away. Living ai. Retirement community with other oldies who I have virtuely nothing in common with. Am a Southerner living among very much non Southerns. Seems they rather group with other Northern folks … who share the things they had before. I am children who are wonderful. Many live 4.5 hours driving fast from where I live. Daughter who lives close had serious health issues etc. in so many ways I am alone, yes with a cute funny fluffy small dogs. It also takes a very long time for an acquaintance to become a friend. Thank you for letting vent. 🌻
It is so hard to make friends once the kids are grown and gone. I don’t work and just don’t “bump into” people I long to spend time with! My “closest” friend lives in another country. :-( I give myself a score of 2.
Please please don't add background music to the videos. For people with ADHD it so hard. I couldn't focus on what you were saying
My best and only friend of just shy of 24 years passed away this year. At age 57 with no husband and no children it is difficult to make new friends. May I ask you to pray that I find my new people. Thank you. God Bless.
Ever since I broke my femur unfortunately I feel like I'm just a big burden I'm pretty much a loner . Truly grateful for a very small circle of people that are in my life. Although like everything else in life don't always get to see them but we stay in touch.
I have gone through a season of releasing friendships. It’s been hard. in the last 2 years. I have let go of 4 friendships that were extremely important to me once upon a time. I think the biggest thing that helped me through was to recognize that my expectations of the relationship is what I had to let go of. I was putting my fullest into it and wanting the same. When I was no longer serving the purpose in their life that they wanted then they stopped being a friend to me. I grieved hard, but it pointed me and my energy into another area of my life. Now a new season has begun.
Wow you and Diana talk on the phone and every day? Wow that is awesome. Most people text and don't talk and then it is not every day at this. I wish but as a 56 year old woman friendships are hard to make and find.
One big problem with the lonliness epidemic is that the Christian church doesn't want singles, particularly single women. Single women are the pariahs of the church since we're seen as on the hunt and aiming for all the men (sorry, I've seen those men.). Churches just want young families. I tried to explain this to a church worker while she was insisting that the "family" picnics were for all parishioners. Normal singles don't want to look like weirdos hanging out at the family picnic.
Every two weeks, I host Buddies night. 5 friends come over and we BBQ. Sometimes they bring the wife and kids, sometimes it's just us. But everyone has an open invitation to bring guests with them. Have found two new friends in the last year.