Speak Like This To Make A Rude Person Instantly Regret Insulting You
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2015
- Get the 4 emotions you need to make a great first impression every time:
bit.ly/2EbwIYh
How To Stand Up For Yourself Without Being A Jerk, Robert Downey Junior Style
We all have had those situations in life where we KNOW someone is trying to get to us. Maybe they keep asking embarrassing questions. Maybe they put us down with backhandedly. We know they are attacking us passive aggressively, but it feels like there is nothing we can do about it. Many of us don't know how to handle this kind of conflict.
In this interview with Robert Downey Junior, Krishnan Guru-Murthy continually asks about his history with drugs and jail. In the context of the interview, the questions are out of line, yet Guru-Murthy continues to probe. This video will show you how Robert Downey Junior handled the situation and the exact steps that you can take to deal with these kinds of passive aggressive attacks.
The good news is that you don't have to be a jerk, nor do you have to be a total door mat. You can politely be assertive and then exit the conversation by following the 5 steps.
Subscribe to Charisma On Command: bit.ly/subscribeCOC
Connect With Us.
Website: www.charismaoncommand.com
Facebook: / charismaoncommand
Periscope: @Charismaon
Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music):
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
Tried this on myself in the mirror. Walked out on myself.
@unknowning unknown ahahha, righttt lmao.
😂😂😂
Can’t tell if it worked or not
Me too
hahhahahha
If RDJ looked at me like that, I would cry.
Wtf?
Lol
Me too man
I feel like my body and confidence would shatter permanently.
IKR
Been a fan of Robert since the 80's. Dude has been through a lot, and he's a class act. Came out wiser, and stronger.
I agree with you 100%
Boggles the mind. Why anyone should pick apart anyone's life without offering up their own life trials is beyond me. Good on you, Robert! Cannot stand passive/aggressive people.
Growing up at the same time Robert has.
From the time he became public material.
Watching him.
I am glad for him.
I am a fan.
That happens with addiction. You learn or you die.
Regular people are like that too. But you dont care about them as they aren’t famous.
RDJ handled that beautifully. He warned the clown twice “I thought we were promoting a movie.” Third time, he got up and left.
So If I got this straight:
1: Distract target with your steady gaze
2: Answer his question at face value
3: Counter with cross to left cheek
4: DISCOMBOBULATE
Haha lol
I like your explanation better! 😂👍🏻
Haha my brain automatically read 3 and 4 in a British accent
Sherlock Holmes lol HAHAHAHA
Underrated
Boss yelled in my face...i calmly said "Don't yell at me" Boss yelled "Im not yelling at you"! I calmly responded "Yes...you are. I don't need the stress". I walked out of my job. Boss called asked if I quit. I answered that I walked out to avoid jail. Also reminded my Boss I was a grown and this behavior will not be tolerated by me...We spoke the next day, Boss apologized. Never happened again. Boss respects me now. Done.
Ocularion9 .. Omg brilliant!!!! See, a bully will only bully IF you let them ! You did brilliantly to keep your head . Pat yourself on the back ...boss looked very small in the end 👍👍👍
Next time you go to work look at him and say "Look at me.... I'm the boss now"
Don’t outright quit though get those unemployment checks and get fired
@@rileywooten1381 i didn't quit..just walked out for the day....to calm down.
And then everybody clapped
1. Maintain eye contact
2. Give Benefit of the doubt
3.Warning shot
4. Walk out
WHAT ISA. WARNING SHOT
@@elizabethbennet4791politely make them aware that they are going down the wrong path.
In this case it is RDJ asking “Are we promoting a movie here?”, he laughs when he says it but the implication is : “you are going off topic and I don’t want to talk about this”
So if for example someone is talking about you in a way that is rude, you might say “I’m not sure that’s right/true so let’s move on to talking about x” in a polite, jokey way.
Then if they persist, everyone will see that you gave them fair warning to stop before calling them out and walking away.
@@Jixaw15 But what is the 'wrong path'? Is that open for negotiation? An honest answer from Krishnan Guru-Murthy might be 'You may be promoting a film, but this is for a general news programme so please give me something of substance, such as reflecting about art in culture, that can justify including this item.' The upshot was that British viewers concluded RDJ is a prick(ly character).
@@Cedders001 krishnan pushed on an issue that RDJ clearly did not want to talk about, and shouldn't have to talk about while promoting an Avengers movie. Given that it is not up to Krishnan what questions RDJ should and shoudnt answer, I think that makes him the prick(ly character).
@@Jixaw15exactly. Plus it's not up to Rdj who he gives interviews to in order to promote The Avangers. He is paid to promote the film. It's not up to RDJ to justify having him on Channel 4 news, that decision was the broadcaster Channel 4 and the makers ITN. Neither is up to Krishnan as a news reader, but at the same time it's not RDJ to justify being on the news because he didn't come off the plane in London and head down to Channel 4 hq demanding to go on the news. This is really ITN & Channel 4's fault for booking the slot, not making RDJ aware of the type of show it is and thus justifying using C4 news as a promotional vehicle for the Avengers.
He never loses his temper!!! Hes kind, clear, but direct and confident!!!
disagree
@@HowDidIGet3700Subs Good for you. Who cares. If after watching this and you “disagree “ time to stop listening with your ears closed.
Therapy. It works, if you have a good teacher - because that's what a good therapist does, teach.
@@jennifermarlow. ... but 98% of therapists are crap according to Jordan Peterson. They're not fit for purpose.
Robert Downey Jr is not the first guy to get up and walk out on this interviewer. The guy is known for his inappropriate questions. Kudos to Robert for having strong boundaries.
Yes, I cannot stand that guy. I think he's the one who did that smear piece on Michael Jackson. Despicable.
@Bohappenstance Click He's a brit
@Bohappenstance Click whats wrong with that? Want to make a sweeping statement about an entire country?
@Aidan Doyle You do realise 'saxon' is an ethnicity group- not sure if you were just looking for a fancy way to say British- he is is British but he's not 'saxon'- most Brits aren't (even if they are white and >100 generations British, some historically prominent ethnicities: Gaeles, Britons, Picts, Angles, Danes/Norse, Normans etc.).
@Aidan Doyle I don't know if you didn't read what I said but he's not Saxon, he's Indian. It's correct to call him British but not Saxon.
"Your foot's starting to jump a little bit, you better get to the next question."
There was something so cold in the delivery of that line that sent chills down my spine, and it wasn't even directed at me. That's just impressive.
It felt like something ripped out of an actual Iron Man line.
That confidence that the line showcased even made the interviewer startled as HE even needed to digest that statement.
Feels like robert was a second away from decking the dude in the face sksksksk
Ya it send chill down the spine its like the power of elsa is in dat sentence. So cool like air conditioner!
@@strangestcraze7743 i was waiting from him to raise his arms and blast him😂😂😂
It was a subtly strong, respectful but poignant power move. A very successful one
I worked at a school where we had a lady who worked in the office who spoke very rudely to everyone, i was new… she very gruffly told me to do something (not my boss) and I just asked “do you have a problem with me or do you just talk to everyone like that?” She was taken aback and giggled sheepishly and said she just talked like that-we actually never had another incident.
Impressive, honest inquiry and results. Thanks
@@carolkology4202 it turns out she used to be a drill sergeant in the army. Lol. We ended up as friends.
@@amyfromflorida4518 that's honestly beautiful, i'm glad you were able to chip away at that hard shell with one interraction. she probably carries that with her. hope you both are doing well.
I sat with a coworker and my boss a month or so ago. We went over how my coworker is creating more work for myself and our team, and as leaders it's our responsibility to lead by example. My coworker got noticably uncomfortable, completely ignoring me and getting heated over the slightest bit of accountability.
Then as a last ditch effort she told me "Well I've heard some things about you, ya know."
I called her bluff. "Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Don't worry about it."
"No this is important to me if you have any constructive criticism for me I'd love to hear it."
"Don't worry about it."
"No I'd like to improve and the best I can be. Please tell me."
She got up and walked away. I asked my boss "Is there something I need to be doing that I'm not?"
He said no. The next week I was awarded employee of the month. So it was all just gaslighting. She was trying to get me to feel as uncomfortable as she felt and it just didnt work.
I had a co-worker who said that someone had mentioned I didn’t have much brains for the job . I asked him to name the person and he refused. I knew he was lying.
@@soneelita oftentimes they could be the culprit themselves 😂
Great job 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I also noticed he looked to others to make sure that he understands correctly whats happening, looking for feedback .
Potentially a manager to see what the next best move was (answer or don't answer the question) or when the guy crossed the line for example
Actually he does that a lot in interviews. This was covered in a separate video on this channel.
@@wolfo11 Which video was that? I checked the channel, but I'm not sure which You had in mind.
@@sylwioszka the one about him specifically: How to be the coolest guy in the room.
@@wolfo11 Oh, that one! Then I saw it, was interesting.
Robert Downey Jr is a legend in my eyes. Beat massive drug abuse to become one of the greatest actors of this generation, and to top it all off the man has both class, a great sense of humor, and is extremely articulate and friendly.
he can't act though
Maybe that's because he is so cool. He overcame great hardships, it requires a lot of strength.
@@HeyIntegrity You will *NEVER EVER* win a Fortnite match
Greatest Actor of this generation? Holy fuck are you watching the same movies i am?
He's an iron man
Robert is a great actor. He has overcome a great deal of personal challenges and has managed his life. I am grateful to have him as a role model, and get ahead in my own life experiences. Uplift people’s achievements and don’t try to burry them over their failures. We have all failed at some issues in life, but we don’t harp on it everyday, instead, we strive to keep moving forward with our confidence high. Focus on the good moments by keeping a full and positive flow of energy. Keep negative stress out of your life, no room for their passive aggression. They will never be on your level Robert.
Beautifully said!
All of this can happen in less than a minute. I've experienced it [figuratively] as the person on Robert's seat. Whether the interviewer knows it or not, they've lost, and it feels amazing walking away from that. It's like telling them, "shut up, you have no idea what we're talking about...and I'm done playing your game"
1. *Hold eye contact*
2. *Maintain the benefit of the doubt:* - maybe it’s a weird question or maybe you’re just interpreting it the wrong way.
3. *Give them a warning shot* e.g. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this but...” (then continue on)
4. *Call it out:* you need to say “What are we doing here?”, “What are you trying to do?”
5. If they don’t stop, *remove yourself from the situation*
:)
6. Discombobulate
Holding eye contact is really such a big step. I tend to avoid my gaze to avoid the confrontation and show "I'm not interested" but it obviously won't work if someone does not care about how you feel or it can cause ppl to think you're not serious when you say "no"
@@Issacize underrated 😂
@@Issacize killed me 😂😂💀
@@Issacize that's a goof and spoof
if you're gonna ask difficult questions, ask them confidently ...
Jakub Gancarz Howard stern
Im going to ask my teacher in a respectful way if he could respect me like im respecting him, because literally the first time I met him he gave me attitude and he was extremely rude, then in the very early morning I went to ask him for help and again he was getting mad at me and stuff, but I need the confidence to tell him to respect me and stop getting mad all the time
@@santicheeks1106 how are you now?
@@ifyouhaveghosts6 good I took that class out for another class that was available
atleast say you dont mean to be rude or passive aggressive or acnowledge that its hard to make the question seem polite but you dont mean it that way
I've always identified with RDJ on multiple levels. To see his chest heaving when about to be asked a triggering question was astonishing. I just love this man and to witness his vulnerability was reinforcing the fact that he is a person first, and an actor second. Damn, that was so real.
As someone who used to really piss off most Army officers, I'll add that RDJ's facial expression, half smiling at the absurdity of the other person, is important too. He does a good job of staying calm through the whole thing, but the "Bye!" at the end is my favorite part. I watched my wife deal with her father who could be charitably described as having a few personality issues, and removing yourself from the situation (And this includes all means of contact, like social media or telephone) is the meanest and most effective thing one can do to a narcissist.
RDJ spent quite a few years in jail. I think he is incredibly intelligent and he can shut down anyone he feels like. He literally came back from nothing and is on top of his game now. That's huge!
@Goodvibe - when I say came back from nothing, what I mean is- he was basically written off by Hollywood due to his past, despite who his family is. I think it's great and he deserves everything he has
I wouldn't f' with him....Takes serious balls.
@Asserting Word just came from that
@Asserting Word "that none of us really see or pay attention to." Speak for your self. Why do you have to drag down the rest of us with you, does it make you feel better about your self?
He spent some time in jail, related to his drug use mostly, but not "quite a few years". I'm not sure he even spent an entire year in jail. But yeah, he definitely turned things around for himself. The irony is that his most acclaimed work was done when he was an addict, the bland commercial stuff has been after his sobriety.
I've really got to HOLD that eye contact. It works incredibly well with a jerk . You can almost hear THIER voice trembling.
Life’s lessons their*
I tried that and the jerk just said out loud that I was being creepy ,-.,
Double the effect if you know how to raise an eyebrow..
"I was just joking"
WHEN I DO THE EYE THING THEY GET A N G R I E R !! THEN I JUST LAUGH !!! THAT MAKES THEM EVEN A N G R I E R ME STILL LAUGHING CIRCLE !!! THEN I WALK AWAY WHILE THEY R STILL YELLING ME STILL LAUGHING !!!
So good 👌
Robert Downey Jr. gave so many opportunities to this guy. Mad props to him! Holding that eye contact is a brilliant move.
Genius!
My late mother always gave me the best advice 1 is the less you say the more you say! another one is ask a person who asks invasive questions , “Why would you ask me that?!” also another option is to ignore the question, ex. the person says , i heard this about your family, quickly ignored and change the subject! 😉
now that is really simple, effective and mature... unlike Robert playing drama queen
@@ryiningZolzz-qt3wn robert was incredibly mature- removing himself from a situation he did not want to be in, keeping his voice calm and staying in a respectful demeanor. what was dramatic about anything robert did
Despite all evidence to the contrary, it's NOT "unprofessional" to get up and leave or walk away; if anything, it's the most professional thing you can do or be!
When I was in the military I walked away from an abusive superior I was sent to captain's mast😒
@@dastuffster150 what is that?
@@om-qg7ju it's plank that they make you walk on to throw you off the ship
@@djsonicc funny
@Elevator Music Way to go! Be you.
Step one: Be Robert Downey Jr.
Goddamn im not that handsome:/
Damn thats so difficult
Step two: Be Tom Holland
Impossible
So now I have to go look up a Robert Downey junior tutorial
I love Robert Downey Jr. Class act and polite but won't be pushed around. One of my favorite famous people.
Wow! I learned a lot in this video. Learning by observing a real conversation is priceless. Thank you and thanks to Robert Downey Junior.
The interviewer was way out of line. This was to promote a movie nothing else.
Richard yo Richard my name is Richard hello Richard
Rotch Potch hey Richards
@@tootart8858 hey Richards
Rotch Potch hey Richards
@@tootart8858 hey Richards
The maturity in which Robert Downey Jr. handled this interviewer stands as a testimony to his resolve of his old self.
@divyanshu pandey a lot of people would probably freak out right away
I remember seeing this interview and cringing hard, thinking "WTF is the interviewer doing? Why with the deeply personal... it's supposed to be a film interview not a therapy session!" and being in awe of RDJs intensity and control. This CoC breakdown just made it even more awesome with the emotional intelligence on display.
@Howardsend88 man you talk like a 5yo and you are telling us about maturity
@divyanshu pandey I mean he could’ve taken the tarantino route. Same interviewer too.
Maturity? Haha. About time. The guy is like 58 years old.
Another really good tactic to put pressure on someone who may not be treating you with the amount of respect you feel you deserve, assuming this situation is one where violence is off the table: take a small step towards them. You could pretend you misheard them and then take a step or 2. Make sure you stay at least arms length away from them. Anything closer could be considered a threat. You’d be surprised how many people fall apart when you change the distance between you, especially if you maintain eye contact and slightly slow down your cadence.
This video helps me see my responses are quite normal to the circumstances I get presented with.
Many people, especially those in authority, do not listen to warning shots. I’m not sure why they don’t. But when they don’t you can bet I’ll become ugly. In professional training I was taught to go face to face. Pitifully, most people in authority are not used to it and don’t handle it very well. Any institution that puts managers into positions who have not been trained to hear employees warning shots is not worth working for. Warnings shots, whomever the other person is, offers respectful opportunities to that person to change their direction. I always speak clearly and will not tolerate my boundaries being disrespected. Especially in what is supposed to be a professional position. To say be careful with a boss? Sorry but that is when it’s even more important to be clear, and if the boss ignores it, then walk out or set there and be brow beaten. Better to walk out because it’s already a losing proposition if the boss puts a subordinate in that kind of a situation.
So true. But, you are never going to change an insecire or threatened by you boss. As soon as you realize you are in this situation, cut bait and get a new job asap. Narc and instable bpsses who lack in leadership will not change just because you establish a boundary. People are nothing but patterns. Remember that! You will not change someone's patterns or modus opperendum. To think that you can is an exercise in futility.
He was so calm and collected, he didn't give him anything. He's awesome and I admire him.
kneel
7:03 is when he absolutely checked out from this interview.
Quite the change for him.. great guy.
I find it weird they got mad about it on TV for no reason
when fool don't know how to say ''your questions are irrelevant for topic'' but just loses its grip and pathetically runs
"I'm just asking questions" is the most annoying sentence in interviewing history. Of course you're asking questions. But the questions you choose to ask have a meaning and intention behind them.
I too felt it exactly the same..
Easy manipulation. Don’t want to answer the question so you answer an easier one. Why? Nah. What? Why I’m just asking you a questions. Pretty slimy which most interviewers are
No one "just asks questions". A question is designed to illicit an answer they want ;)
completely agree, its such a dishonest statement and way of framing it.
another one "I'm just Saying", make me wants to punch a throat, slap both ears, and Batista bomb right there.
I love the way Robert Downey Jr handled this situation. Smooth. He's real. I really respect him for the way he responded. ❤
An important tactic I learned is when someone wants to provoke you or ask a loaded question simply do not fall in the trap. Never defend yourself. Never apologize or explain. I usually counter punch outside the realm of the trap and I make it personal. Once people see that they can't troll you they go away, game over and they lost.
Could you please explain what counter punch outside of the realm of trap means? :)
@@alexgabriel5650I'd like to know too.
@@alexgabriel5650 You hurt them with something you observe or know about them that has nothing to do with the topic in which they were being passive aggressive.
@@Iconoclast1919 I understand now. Thank you.
As a person who has rarely found much value in celebrity culture, this gave me a whole new level of respect for RDJ.
I have no respect for someone paid that much for doing so little. He might be a nice guy in real life, and I'm sure I would have made even worse choices if I was in his shoes, who knows. But really? respect? His claim to fame as a teen is softening the image of the trust fund kids of rentier class parasites to make them look kool or misunderstood(the Bayer and Dupont heirs tell quite a different story). He's carried that elites-R-kool schtick on into a positive portrayal of a tech and MIC grifter as Tony Stark...in the real world tech tycoons (Bill Gates/Elon Mosk/Bezos) steal and privatize knowledge, crush labor movements, promote war and slave labor abroad via their media outlets(MSNBC,wapo) or business dealings, and hold innovation back if it conflicts with their bottom line and by destroying or buying out more capable and competent competitiors (Skype) . His whole life seems to me a whitewashing PR stunt for the deplorable grifters, Hollywood monopolists, devil-may-care burnittotheground capitalists, and imperialists who are keeping us all poor with austerity, are destabilizing our world politique, and are devastating the planet beyond repair. He is certainly not someone to hold to higher esteem than my school teachers, carpenter, or plumber who actually work for their keep and constructively attempt to make this world a better place to live, let alone many actors in the theatre, where the art form has more meaning than self-promotion, money, and propaganda.
@@zackbarkley7593 I understand your feelings my friend, but why be mad at at the man instead of the system?
@@magnus_cockstrong I'm not mad at all at RDJ...probably a very kool guy in real life. But respect or high esteem...we're concentrating in society on completely the wrong people. I have complete disrespect for the interviewer, not because he asked the questions, but because he's bothering interviewing RDJ at all.
@@zackbarkley7593 you're not wrong, but how much can we resist the overwhelming veil of American propaganda,?
@@magnus_cockstrong Recognition, discussions with family and friends, and trying anyway you can (not just voting) to make things better. It ain't gonna be easy...nothing good ever is. People really do have the power to make the world a better place than the one the rich and those who emulate or worship them are now ruining beyond repair. I don't have anything against RDJ personally more than any other of the Hollywood grifters, but the ideology he represents is not good, and losing the false religion and idol worship of these guys would be i think a step in the right direction for our culture. The egalitarian, social justice, and communal roots of American culture need rediscovery by recognizing and cultivating real heros amongst us, not imaginary ones among them.
wow you could tell RDJ felt hurt in a way, his eyes...
looking at that reporter like "dude, really?"
he agrees to report the movie and dug into RDJ, so unprofessional.
Yeah exactly! You can see RDJ's eyes getting watery and his breathing gets faster too
He was probably just trying to hold himself back from becoming aggressive on camera, he was being disrespected and no body likes having their time wasted.
RDJ is such a sharp guy who also happens to have good self control in situations like these. So he may've had problems in the past from bad choices in his youth, but he's matured since and worked on himself to perservere... and still maintains his good sense of humor which is admirable.
losing his grids is self control?? 🤣🤣
This is so very helpful, thank you. I wished I have known this many years ago, it could have saved me from lots of self-hate over unpleasant encounters. Well, still, it's better to learn late than never at all.
Agree, the comments also helpful as i make notes to prepare for what i know is coming. A new day where we can do better.
Putting a list here for myself:
1) Eye contact
2) Benefit of the doubt (answer question at face value)
3) Warning shot (I don't know why we're talking about this but...)
4) Call it out (what's going on here?)
5) If necessary, remove yourself from the situation.
EDIT: noticed someone else already did this but i wanted to add some stuff
What does face value mean ?
answer the question honestly and don't let them know not to pursue the subject
@@iamdanish99havocx79 to take something at face value is to not focus on the implications or underlying meanings. The interviewers original question (cant remember it exactly atm) had a lot of underlying implications (he is saying more than he is saying) and instead of getting upset RDJ gives him the benefit of the doubt and just answers his question as if there was no underlying meaning. I hope this helps and was understandable.
iamdanish99 taking a person or a situation for what you perceive it to be. In the South, the optimal phrase is “It is, what it is.”
@@iamdanish99havocx79 Hi. Not going into the question in depth, giving a general, vague answer.
never answer inappropriate questions... except with another question: why do you ask? did you really just ask me that? can you explain what you mean by that? do you realize that's personal? what makes you comfortable asking me that? etc this is a game changer that shifts the power back to you.
I do this! It works. I also ask them to repeat their statement. Many times they get embarrassed to say it again.
earthempresstv agreed, this is a great way to shift that power to you! 👌🏼 Good job!! 👍🏼
@moist faucet I'd dare to say everyone has something they dont like everyone to see. Someone jumping in to very specific question in situation is not necessarily decisive, because the intention of the questioner might just be to tear person down to avoid an issue.
Asking question back is simply a way to either return to subject by revealing that the goal of the question is not very sincere.
People have their secrets but revealing them to people who want to use it against you is not necessarily the best option.
Manipulation is a term too casually thrown around in issues like this.
@moist faucet It is simply hierarching the worth of relationships and giving them approxiamate uphold.
The reality rarely follows our assumptions. You merely assume that when people dont answer all questions, they are untrustworthy, but maybe they just dont trust you. Maybe they assume that if youre ready to reveal the most hurtful things about yourself, you're less prone to keep a secret.
Long story short, we usually assume the worst of other people, and it in order affects how others view us. What one considers dishonesty, others make a call to trust them.
In the question of pre-nuptial contract we can also make it show honesty. It tells that while person might be ready to commit, they dont go in without realizations that it is not merely cotton road and things might go wrong. It also gives sense of security knowing that these people are not hostages to each other and thus gives room to be loyal, not merely because of principle but outta respect and self-will.
Trusting someone is not merely about answering questions. But same time you are not forced to trust anyone you dont want. Still, what one considers trustworthy behaviour might not always be the same.
@moist faucet either give it time and treat it as buddy-level relationship rather than friendship or just disengage. The thing is that there are differing things which people consider trustworthy.
And when it comes down to "sensing" I'd take it with grain of salt. Usually our preconceived ideas murky that sense.
Amazing breakdown and analysis of what can, and often does, happen in such situations ! As a highly sociable person working with the public on a daily basis, I have my fair and regular share of such interactions ; I instinctively react like RDJ did during this interview, with variations depending on the context and the person involved. And well, this video makes the whole process crystal clear, and helps me understand the dynamics at work. This will help me communicate in an even sharper and more fully aware way, while establishing healthy boundaries and respecting everyone involved. Thanks a million for that ! 🤩 🤩 🤩
On a side note, I just love RDJ, even since I discovered him in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" some 20 years ago. I have the deepest respect for this man, for the way he lived and still lives his life. He's been through hell and back, and yet he ever retains that amazing kindness, that warmth, while still taking responsability for eveything he did. A truly amazing human being, and an inspiration to me 🥰
I first saw RDJ in the movie "Chances Are" in 1988. I still love that movie and have it on my Plex server.
Thank you for all of the tips. I'm always calm in situations like this, but I never know how to get the person to stop. This is a very helpful video
Robert Downey Jr is one of my heroes. He has taken responsibility for his mistakes and does not pretend they did not happen. He learned from his mistakes and became a better person and a better actor and role model. To do what he did takes a lot of courage. I have much admiration for him.
Gretta Hayward Yep ... Great job
I admire him too.
Yea, but most people don't have to do it with the whole world watching and then asking about it and reminding them of their struggles 20 years' later. He is one of the few "celebrities" I admire, and this is part of the reason why.
Ok, I see where you are coming from. This is probably the reason why I don't rate most celebrities. In fact, my favourite celebrity is one that is almost never in the spotlight - John Cusack.
SUPER GOOD LOOKING TOO !!!
This is like a self-defense class but for verbal conversation.
It really is. Masterpiece!
Speaking is a use of force, in the same way diplomacy and warfare are just stages of negotiation.
I like this thread here. This really ties into emotional intelligence, also. I'm going to be learning more about him now, respect!
The Gentleman’s Defense
As basically pointed out by Googie Gress these are the first few steps to actual physical self defense. Unless you are jumped in a dark ally these are the very sort of "conversations" that lead to fights and hospital visits. Skills like this literally save lives.
The problem with our society is that passive aggressive BS has taken over, people are so afraid of being cancelled or looking like the as*hat they truly are so they make snarky “jokes”, at your expense, to try & turn you into the a-hole in that moment. I feel that if someone is addressing me with disrespect or bad intentions/looking for a fight they deserve to be called out immediately. I used to respond with anger & hurt but I’ve finally grasped the art of using intelligent, passive aggressive comebacks whilst remaining calm. My eyes give me away, I’ll admit, but I laugh as though I’m the one joking.
I did a similar thing to my boss once he and his assistant manager pulled me into a meeting and they both ganged up on me, and then he threatened to fire me. I said ok, lets go and sign the papers, I'm ready to get fired. What i'm not ready to do is to sit here and get ambushed by you two.
As we went to his office my boss started crying (actually really crying!) and said he never intended it to go that far. He only wanted to scare me into place. I told him to find me another position and i would remain within the company, which he did.
So you can do it with bosses too if you are prepared to go all the way!
I don't think many people realize just how intelligent RDJ really is.
The dude is bright, like lightning.
I don't know how your could miss it. Not only is he sharp, but he's quick.
@@jnooney8225 The interviewer certainly did.
Yeah, I know. If others don't they live on another planet or they are dull in their understanding.
he learned a thing or two being tony stark
Yes he is he moved to England !!!
RDJ is such a cool guy, man. There is just something about him that is warm and friendly, but badass and cold at the same time.
You mean his iron suit?
I love him 3000
@@uraharamitchell7250
Same
Interviewer: Alright I have a question about your past!!!
Robert Downey Jr: I am Ironman, goodbye!!!
Interviewer: Nani???!!!
But he wasn't cool. He lost his cool under really not much fire at all and walked out. NOT COOL.
Just watched this again. So helpful, so informative. Plus . . . Robert Downey Jr. is such a lovely person and wonderful actor. I love him!
i call this energy management. it's vampiric behavior, aimed at depleting you energetically. excellent advice here. i've learned to do this in writing on social media. when someone i engage with obviously ignores what i write and tries to pick up a fight, i kind of do this and i sometimes end up, when they actually insist and reply but always to push me further down, telling them that they are being a gaslighter or something like taht and that i'm out of the conversation. a little 'bye byyye' at the end makes it sound light and fun. most of the time, they'll come back asking for more but i've sealed myself and their vampiric attempt fails.
are you aware that this is actually about your sexual energy? this type of psychic abuse is all about energy stealing but the only type of energy we have, our life force energy, is our sexual energy, masculine & feminine, kundalini...what you're doing is protecting your very soul integrity. in a world of competition and domination, this is a life saving skill to have.
This interviewer knew EXACTLY what he was doing, but he clearly wasn’t expecting this sort of a silent backlash from RDJ. He turns into a blubbering coward, doesn’t even have the balls to look him in the eye, whereas RDJ stares him down the entire time.
Yeah, generally when you face down people like this they either collapse into a puddle or fly into a rage.
Krishnan Guru-Murthy used to be a very good news presenter and interviewer. He used to be confident, engaging and professional. The fact that he was so uncomfortable with his own line of questioning suggest to me that he was following someone else's agenda, imo. Channel 4 news used to be the best news programme on UK TV. However, since the veteran reporter John Snow retired, its become very aggressively WOKE. I can't listen to it now.
That's the beauty of it. Meanies are always cowards.
@@mitchh3092 Like they just don't know what to do
His balls shrunk all the way up into his throat at the end
I just stare at people when I know they're being passive aggressive. Maintain direct eye contact, neutral expression, and remain completely silent. It really freaks them out.
Love it .
Especially with a face like that
I'm gonna try it out !
Silence can be intimidating. My kids learned that from me but when they tried to use it on me I had to teach them parts 2 and 3 of that lesson which are 2) it doesn't work on everyone and, 3) don't try to use it on people who are in a position of authority over you or someone who takes care of you. The key to the technique is the neutral expression. If people can't read you, they will think twice about messing with you.
I love it
RDJ is such a gracious person. Thank you for using him as an example for us in handling these difficult situations.
"right....bye! :)" bro he is a legend!!
Another thing to note is RDJ's gracious semantics. You picked up on this-- that by rhetorically asking "what are we doing here" he's really saying "what are you doing?". By simply changing the implicit "you" to an explicit "we", he shares some of the burden, some of the embarrassment, making himself appear more human and less eager to direct blame entirely on his interviewer, as this is hardly ever a productive tactic.
Oh, well said as well!
He's pointed out too so how is asking me this about the movie lol
Solid point. "We" in collaborative dialog or activity is a golden word. Note how often salespeople, politicians (same thing), and leaders use it.
Fookin hell with the mind reading.
Siri johnson, he also said “Are we promoting a movie?”
I'm new to this channel and really loving the videos so far. I listened to my first one last week and implemented some of what I heard. Multiple times over the course of that workday several people at my job told me that there is something different about me today... in a good way.
Robert was truly a gentleman in that situation. He had all the reasons to do whatever, but he maintained his coolness.
That guy at the end with the gray hair, just staring in disappointment :)
+Calum Chrystal defeated.
so excited to see the old guy
got to the end and just busted up laughing.. that look! hahaha
Ikr? lol best part of this video...xD
New meme?
"Your foot is starting to jump a little bit, you better get to your next question."
Awesome.
Absolute alpha
@Bachelor Times Because its all you want to read/watch.
I occasionally run into really rude people in my line of work. I just tell them calmly that I’m too old to be talked to like that. It usually intimidates them immediately. The few that carry on go on my pay no mind list and I deal with their superior.
Thank you for this. I am learning how to navigate these situations. I always feel side swiped when I know my intentions and interactions w. The person was genuine and pleasant. So again thank you I will continue to practice deep breathing calling it out calmly and walking away and not second guess myself
Insecure people are fascinated with others' insecurities. Angry people are fascinated with anger. Etc etc. We all have our own laundry list of flaws, and we can spend our whole life focusing on them, or we can focus on the positive, within ourselves and others, and actually be productive.
Pardon me, well said.
Great life advice, thank you!!
Very intriguing perspective.
What we focus on, is what we will find.
Damn. Random RUclips comment just made me realise something about myself.
Amen
RDJ knows exactly what he’s doing with both his body language, as well as his choice of words.
xrd he is actor
At 1:12, RDJ does an excellent job trying to laugh it off. That is a good step 1. The laughter is a cue for a normal person to get the interview back on track. I’ve defused similar situations by simply laughing it off and turning it into an “is this a joke?” conversation.
Thanks for educating us all to this situation. Robert Downey Jr. you done good! Congrats!
This interviewer has pissed off so many actors and directors
What's he called?
@@haeuth684 krishnan guru murthy or something that sounds like that
Paula Go thanks
@@haeuth684 no worries mate. his interview with richard ayoade is gold.
Paula Go just checked that interview out, actually I checked all of his interviews out my two favorites are richard ayoade and samuel l jackson, the best thing about these too is that they didn't even give him a chance to think of something and more importantly they were mostly smiling
Robert Downey Jr what a gentleman. What an intelligent classy guy
😆
Tiny Turbo what’s so funny
@@moneygrabber6720 He was arrested and was addicted to drugs
@@leoskelton3471 was
@@wrstr that’s what he said
Robert Downey Jr. is a class act. There is no one or nothing that can challenge him. Period!
I could not hear the questions, but I did see how Robert Downey Jr reacted. I love it!
Robert is by far more intelligent and experienced than that silly journalist . He handled it like a boss , clearly the coolest guy around Hollywood , not because of his roles lately , but because he managed to be himself while pretending to be someone else and following a script . His past belongs to him and nobody should judge him anymore or even make comments about it . "him who has no sins , shall throw the stone first"
There is nothing wrong with bringing the past of a celebrity up if it helps in finding something relevant to today. However, it is clear that this is not the type of thing to do during a movie promotion interview. Your supposed to talk about the movie. Perhaps bring open questions like: Do you feel anything in your personal life help you play the character, but nothing more.
@@stephanelaliberte1538 yeah, that's another level and more polite way to ask someone something so personal without giving him the feeling he is interrogated by a pushy journalist or just rude guy. Don't forget, Robert is a brilliant comedian, and any comedian is fearless into some level. So to make someone with that background and experience feel ''cornered'' means you crossed the line badly. Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!!!
George Isaak aye, especially when it is negotiated before the interview what the purpose of the interview is. RDJ arrived thinking it was going to be movie promotion questions and it wasn’t, he gave the grace that the youtuber explained, no reason to trust further, and he left.
@@6slade Like any intelligent man would do !!!!!
He's up there with Tom Hanks and sienfeld lmao
07:30 rdj doesn't even say "what are *you* doing" , he says "what are *we* doing" which I think is less of an attack back at the interviewer
Yeah, it's like, if you want to tell me what you're trying to achieve, I can see if I can help you achieve it. But when krishnan cowardly refuses to engage on a collaborative level, it's now obvious that he wants to be enemies.
I think he was still giving him the benefit
Vital difference. The ‘we’ gives an opportunity for the other guy to backtrack.
Yup. It’s a great response. I used to say “What’s the big idea here?” but this is certainly simpler and probably better.
@@namedrop721 Exactly! And it was also ANOTHER warning. And that warning was making it very clear that he had a say in the participation. The interviewer also missed several facial and body language clues. He thought he was being clever while he was being a fool.
Well done. Best advice, "Walk away if you don't need the person in your life." If you do, the other techniques can be helpful. Like Robert Downey even more: a class act.
Wow, I know almost nothing about RDJ except he was super popular when I was growing up & then sorta went nuts. WHAT a beautiful, sensitive, conscious person! This was an amazing video & I won’t forget this!
How to deal with “Haters”
Step 1. Understand the difference between haters and criticism.
No one seems to do this
Carryn Welde . Hmm, comes under the same hat in my book . Personally I hate haters and criticism...I grew up with it !!
@@lifeslessons9889 there is a real difference. Criticism points out actual flaws in a way that allows you to grow. Haters are just there to attack you they point out flaws, real or imagined, simply for the purpose of bringing you down.
Ok but when your a star and the criticism is about something you said years ago .... that’s not really relevant criticism and more like picking a fight.
depends what you consider hate..when trump supporters define the rest of us as " haters " you might want to consider that they are pro military..anti civil rights...anti environment etc...the rest of us are just trying to survive
Something that works for me it being super clear “I really don’t wanna talk about that. Can we talk about something else?” - and I smile :)
Its good to be direct. Telling people how you feel is a good idea a lot of the time.
NEEEVER works with my father he just keeps on talkin even louder
Some ppl are tricky to deal with
@@mhad4308 I mean, he wants you to talk, right? How can this not work if it's up to you to talk or not?
@@chief8595 Direct DOESN'T work with passive aggressives. That's why they ARE passive aggressives. They simply DON'T CARE how you feel.
@@mhad4308 so did mine, as soon as I realized I had no opinion in the conversation I laugh and walked away laughing louder and louder then turning around and starring at him laughed my self walking away...
Weve all made mistakes in life some more serious than others. Good for RDJ for walking out.
He RESPONDED & didn't REACT! Beautifully done. Im still wrking on this w/my parents whom I live w/now😭😱 I will be watching this many times! TYSM! ❤❤❤
RDJ is a great example of a man who screwed himself over, worked his ass off to overcome it, became a better person and earned the right to let his past stay there.
I think this is a great warning for other reporters; if the man wants to talk about his past, he will. If not, respect that and move on.
shut up!!!
@@TheJeffrey818 Well, since you asked nicely I guess I have no choice.
All hail j john, master of words.
@@TheJeffrey818
Feeling triggered, kid?
True, if you told someone 15 years ago that RDJ would turn things around AND become the highest paid actor of all time, making nearly half a billion dollars off one single character, people would think YOU were high
I've had interviews far more excruciating than this. So if one chooses to get butthurt and not answer questions then it becomes a Lose/Lose situation. He could have taken the High road and turned it into Win/Win, but he resorted to petty sarcasm.
This isn't about arguments, this is about setting boundaries.
precisely
💯
He could have just replied "yes I'm free from alk all that ..." but didn't ... because the question was out of boundaries ...
I agree. I don't think this reporter was being passive-aggressive. I sensed he wanted to ask questions that were not appropriate for the movie junket. I think most reporters will push boundaries as part of their job and the nature of their work. It's fine if celebs choose not to answer.
Yep. RDJ protected his dignity and I appreciate the way he calmly exemplified setting emotional boundaries.
All good advice, wish I would’ve known how to behave like this when I was younger. I now have the upper hand in tricky circumstances.
As for Robert Downey, Jr., I have always admired him as an actor, actually totally in love with him, how could you not be, he’s talented, smart and beautiful. 💗
1. Hold strong steady eye contact.
2. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
3. Give a warning shot but go back to good nature.
4. Call it out.
-Don’t freak out.
5. Ask what are you doing?
-Maintain eye contact and wait for an answer.
6. Walk away.
And drink your orange juice. You deserved it.
7. Return video tapes
8. Obsess about target and plan brutal revenge
Great summary needed in the video description! :)
The death stare is lethal to people. It’s a great way to intimidate someone or show power without doing much.
I have a lot of guys ask me out and I know if they can’t look me in the eyes when they’re talking to me then they have no chance, lol 😅 some guys even comment about how me looking at them is intimidating.... but I think they are intimidated because their intentions are bad and I’m not having it
Facts that's what I do
@@madelineasmr926 Different people have different personalities and tolerance to emotions and intimidation. If someone is uncomfortable, its fine for them to be uncomfortable. Especially if they are introverted. This doesnt mean that they have bad intentions :) Honestly, as an introvert it is intimidating and makes me uncomfortable when i look someone in the eye, doesnt matter if its a family member or a stranger.
Not just individuals, you can control whole groups of people with your eyes. You’d be amazed at how 5 or 6 aggressive people will back down if you look each of them in they eye and just remain calm while their acting out. Insecure people are
unnerved by confidence.
@@madelineasmr926 Being a bit insecure in that situation might actually be a good sign of being just normal. Asking someone out IS hard and takes courage and being insecure usually means that they've gathered strength to do something that's unusual and hard for them, while people who's confident probably are asking people out all the time ...which is something to consider depending of what kind of guy you want to go out with.
I’ve seen this before and really enjoy it. RD Jr. is so patient with him.
I manage a hotel, and yeah, this sort of thing happens every few months.
Some guests will be upset and start recording as you're explaining something, hoping to get one over on you.
Choosing the right words in these moments takes practice. I used to get heated alongside the guest, then talk them down. It worked, but it left things feeling uneasy.
I now tell people that being recorded doesnt bother me, as I'm already on camera. I then express that I dont feel comfortable renting a room to them due to being hostile, as I have other guest's safety to look out for. I close with offering assitance on finding a different location for them to stay at. 9 times out of 10, they just walk away.
If it continues from there, I ask them to leave the property. If they don't, I call the non-emergency line for the police on speaker phone. Haven't had a person stay past that point. 😂
Nice! Congratulations! You’ve reached the highest level of emotional maturity. I learned who remains calm, is the one that remains control 😉
Once I learned how to set and maintain boundaries, an overwhelming amount of anxiety disappeared almost immediately from my life. It's a game-changer.
@Account pending Great to hear. It's so important that I think they should find a way to teach it in school.
@@wolfmaster1557 I have to craft a response. Some RUclips subjects deserve a good response and this subject counts. I'll be back.
@@elsquibbs following
True
please explain this i have anxiety i would love to make disappear
Robert stared at him so long without blinking that his eyes teared up
@unknowning unknown *Funny and original*
@unknowning unknown except for the fact that I was serious, it was messed up.
@unknowning unknown meh, I use it to confuse people.
@unknowning unknown incredibly original, never heard anything like it
@unknowning unknown lol that made me laugh though
Beautifully done; my compliments, Mr. Downey!
the way he worded those questions was a clear attempt to try and ruin rdj's career. what a weak attempt. rdj handled that super fantastically.
Guitarded How would his career be ruined?
Nabranes TwistyPuzzler he could’ve gone mad and say mean stuff but idk how it will ruin his career also
The interviewer was a troll, man. That interviewer did the same thing to other actors.
@@nabranestwistypuzzler7019 it's clearly baiting. if you can get a man who has a past with drugs and alcohol to get upset, he'll swear and say things he didn't mean to. and to go after the father. shame on that reporter.
@@nabranestwistypuzzler7019 RBJ, Right wing actor in hollywood with a drug problem, daddy issues and a short temper. Interviewer was really reaching
“I don’t want to pry”, then the guy proceeds to pry. You could interrupt him while smiling and say to him immediately: “Great, I’m glad you’re not about to pry” lol.
OooooOOOF. That’s a *good* one.
That's so passive aggressive it's borderline aggressive and i love it
Keep 666 😀, if it fails, starover with mine !!.
People who lie will tell you what they won't do and then do it. As soon as they do that you know who you're dealing with.
Good line, point taken.
Robert Downey Jr., You are the bomb.. You don't know anybody any explanation of anything you did in your past.. He was literally trying to get a rise out of you.. You held strong.. God bless you.. Teresa. Jackson, Michigan
Forgive in leave it in God’s Hands, believe in Him with all your heart and He will repay:
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Romans 12:19-21
I had a "friend" that was the guy who would bring up stories and subject matter that seemed innocuous to everyone else but he knew might provoke me in a passive-aggressive way. He was weak minded, weak emotionally, and weak willed, and that's why he did it. He doesn't have any balls. His dad is/was a police officer so he knew he could fall back on him for anything that went down. I called him out about what he was doing in front of some girls that he was trying to impress by his attempt at humiliating me. (Look at me, the top dog, girls. Ho ho ho.) I forced the issue he had brought up and kept at him as to why it was relevant, telling him that he mentioned it to use against me because there were skirts in the room he was trying to impress and he stumbled because the conversation he had mapped out in his head didn't go according to plan. He got humiliated.
"and he stumbled because the conversation he had mapped out in his head didn't go according to plan"
I've been subjected to conversation mapping many, many times. The warning shot is usually all it takes to trip them because they didn't plan for being challenged by someone with self-respect.
you DO NOT mess with Tony Stark... I mean Iron Man,-I mean... Howard Potts....
IGnoTon you made my day
I can almost guarantee he's going to use Howard pots as an alias for hotels. People are going to be like "is RDJ staying here?" He'll probably look at you like "we don't have that name on our list"
Brilliant
@Riki R Z CHOI
If you don't say it is, people won't know that
You're not one of those Beatniks are you?
8:50 The expression of the guy behind the cam is pure gold.
more like silver
+Heenry Douglas More like pure Iron
greenbeast1345 perfect allegory my friend
lol. yup
The look could easily be interpreted as a knowing look to the interviewer of shared frustration with the actors response. It depends on who he is. If he's part of the actor's entourage the look could more likely be as was suggested. But, if he's 'with' the interviewer, he's probably sharing a knowing look. He looks a lot like Max Clifford (publicist).
I really appreciate RDJ and how he handled this interview. It would be great if everyone you spoke to behaved respectfully and where considerate and treated you as if you had value. The sad part is that not everyone does or cares to, unfortunate for them. His response to the interviewer was totally appropriate and even respectful and considerate. The only way for people to get it is to walk away and limit your exposure to them. Like the saying '"Good fences make good neighbors".
As far as I'm concerned, Robert Downey Jr. is, and always has been, a class act. He's had some bad patches, but he has gotten through them. He's straightened out, and has come out on top. More power to you, sir.
RDJ 's confidence during the interview was amazing. How you can keep composure while someone is dissecting your lives most vulnerable moments is difficult. How he dislocates the interview by pointing out Krishnan Guru-Murthy's nervous foot and body language is just a masterclass in reading and controlling your environment.
I wonder if some of the psychology from SherlockH acting helped him out here. Then again he must know being a celebrity that click bait is always ready to attack. A really neat person
@@captaincrunch1707 One movie I must see! 🙂
He's an actor. He studies body movements. If a role calls for him to be visibly nervous, he has to know that that means. Actors are great observers of others. All RDJ did was go into director mode and call out his 'actor' for playing the role wrong.
Agree...he has a natural ability for quick replies. Watch the Jimmy Kimmel interview also. He was being a total prick but RDJ handled it great! Total Boss
@@Daeyel Don't call this masterful performance "all he did".
Holy shit, this just gave me a lot of respect towards Robert Downey Jr.
No eye contact needed a blind person could do it just as well... Staying calm is key. Collect your thoughts. Be quick to listen and slow to speak righteousness under control... If you are reading this I love you and bless you in the name of Jesus christ.