I watched a NT video and she said when she met Tana, she was one of the nicest RUclipsrs she'd ever met. She said she treated her like they'd been friends for years.
tubester4567 ...isn’t -> acting dumb/ignorant, being called out/shit going down; then LEARNING you were dumb and ignorant; TRYING to be less dumb and ignorant; then until you do the next thing that’s dumb and ignorant .... isn’t it all just the necessary path to being the best person you can be? No kid comes out of the womb not dumb and not ignorant.....All you can really do is not give up on trying to non-dumb and non-ignorant.
Out of 1.2k likes, there are 2 comments not even related to your comment? I guess I will say what needs to be said. I have been through this, as well. You don't want to be "responsible" or for it to be "obvious" that you did something, but you don't care about the situations you put yourself in if they could potentially hurt you. I want you to know that I care about you, and I want you to care about yourself. I don't know you or anything about you, but I know that you were put on this earth for a reason and you are worth it. Have you told anyone about this in person?
When she said she loves her parents but they were never meant to be ones my heart literally broke I could never relate to any sentence more than with this one
my dad is literally 40 years old, and still harbors resentment from his childhood. still talks about it all the time. it genuinely affects a person for the rest of their life. especially if they dont get help.
"my parents will never say sorry the way I wanted them too" felt that to the point where I needed to hear that and just truly understand it. Thank you Tana!
I’m so happy she said that. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for years. Someone told me that and things started to change. You’re on the path of healing!
I hate how people don’t realize depression isn’t always spacing out and distancing and looking sad. You can feel this almost consuming mixture of rage and apathy. You lash out, you push people away, you genuinely don’t care if you die , it’s genuinely overwhelming. Every part of you doesn’t feel the same, not in any way. Sometimes the people that even come near you enrage you and you have no idea why. People often just say it’s brattiness, but by calling someone a brat that’s in this dark hole of despair it just solidifies their feeling of loneliness and not-belonging. Or if someone isn’t acknowledging anything , it doesn’t make them rude, sometimes we don’t even want to acknowledge ourselves or the world
Kids Bandt 100% agree. My depression isn’t just me being sad. I get so angry, frustrated, annoyed and lash out. I could see on her show how bad she was suffering. You don’t wanna be that angry but you also don’t realize you’re being like that until after and it hurts even more thinking back to how you acted. I feel bad for her
Tana, my love, please go see a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and/or depression. It would provide you a private place to speak without judgement, and more importantly it helps you get in touch with yourself. If you end up going on antidepressants, give them a chance - they saved my life
ammouring ammouring yes ^^ for real. And/or addiction. EMDR is crazy for trauma but is proved to often be really effective. It’s hard to do but life changing
finally someone who understands and tries to help Tana instead of bringing her down even more! Also i dont know you but im glad you got the help that you needed😊 hope you are doing much much better❤️
@@looksbyaj7476 I'd see if you feel any different within the next few weeks, if not go back to your doctor. They may need to up your dosage or change meds. I had to try 3 different ones until I found one that worked for me.
“The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.” I don’t think some people actually realise how badly a traumatic childhood can be so debilitating on adulthood. We should all spread some love and encouragement for growth and healing. I wish you the best Tana
Laura Kilworth YES. Just because to others it may seem like her childhood “wasn’t that bad”... it was obviously very traumatic. Just because her breaking point was different than someone else’s doesn’t make her feelings less valid. I’m tired of seeing comments saying they’ve had it “worse” when any kind of emotional abuse is AWFUL and can affect others so different
absolutely! it’s bothering me that so many comments are undermining childhood trauma on adulthood. she’s not “using that card everytime” it literally impacts EVERYTHING you ever do as an adult. i hope she gets better and doesn’t take that shit seriously
I agree. But, at some point you have to work through those issues. First thing is realizing you have them. Shes young but the sooner she worries about her the better. It's easier for her to worry about someone else other than herself. It's sad and I do wish her the very best!
Bardi Damn what... that is absolutely true. People who go through depression often times turn to substances to make themselves feel better or feel something. I did that with alcohol. When you finally stop and can think clear and your face goes back down from alcohol puffiness and you get your voice back from an almost permanent raspy state. Thats a beautiful thing.
Dom daVinci yooou just be new here. Tana is the queen of recording way too gadamn much and then cutting it down. I’d bet everything I own that she had at least 2 full hours of footage. Probably more. She absolutely coughed while filming this. She just finally learned that we don’t want to see it.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but I definitely didn’t care if I died” this takes so much courage to post. People will look at you differently but everyone who genuinely cares about you will be proud of you for speaking your truth. Thank you for raising awareness about mental illness and addiction and how they can affect eachother and starting to break the stigma. The world thanks you ❤️
She is so intelligent hahaha her marketing scales are pretty good , she knows her audience , she knows how to create drama , and she knows how to get out of them too , she is making money moves yall And always remember how she always says that's she's a very nice actress Btw , her content is very entertaining! Loveyou tanaaaa
It’s terrifying when you get older & see your parents through your eyes as an adult vs a kid & you either love them more or realize they are just other people on this planet you might not actually like.
You gotta feel so bad for people, like Tana, that are basically orphans because BOTH their parents are just so fucked as ppl. Heart goes out. I see it in real life. Ppl who had great parents compared to those who had shitty parents, just no comparison.
Jenny B I’m 27 I guess we all just have to learn to be the bigger person. Sometimes that means to distance yourself far from the toxic ppl even if it’s your mom or dad.
“I love my parents, but they weren’t meant to be parents” if only more people understood that just because society tells you have to have kids shouldn’t mean you do. My parents weren’t meant to be parents and I suffered for it too. The advice you can all take from this is don’t bring a child into the world just because you can. It’s a human being. It deserves a healthy environment to grow up in
As someone who also has a rough relationship with their parents the best advice i can give someone who still holds on to there negative emotions do to their parents when you are well into your adult life is you just have to forgive and forget and Drown up or else you will never get anywhere by holding childish resentment in your heart.
These are the videos I missed, where tana just sat down and talked about things. This why I followed her, I missed her so much just sitting down being real.
I felt her when she was saying how she wasn’t trying to end her life but continued living recklessly. Just living in the depressed state of whatever happens, happens and you can’t bring yourself to care. That’s the phase I’m in now and consistently go through. it’s the worst
@jade afatasi I totally relate...It's the shittiest feeling in the world and you feel like you have no control of yourself anymore it's scary and I've lived that way for soo long without realizing it,that I'm just living in survival mode everyday but not really caring if I survive or not ? And then when you try and other people think you're not trying even tho you just aren't at their level,they don't realize how seriously you've been contemplating and how hard it is to keep going. Only people that have been through certain things can fully relate and empathize, i haven't watched her for a long time but just got caught up on the Mtv show today and I could see me in her, she's so young still and when your abusing substances on top of it you kinda get mentally stuck at that age when you started and I've been reflecting so much on my own life and how I got to where I am. It's defeating a lot of the time, but I love how real she's being, i could see through it on the show and I haven't been around long. It was like a punch in the gut and a sting in my heart when she said that, cuz I knew. I hope she can get the help and support she needs and live a happy life..It definitely can't happen overnight tho. I feel for anyone going through severe mental health issues/suicidal ideation/addiction.. stay strong, I'm trying to 💜💜💜
Jade Afatasi I’m right there with you sis, living on a couch couch-surfing in the quarantine is doing wild things to my mindset... not to be pushy but can I talk to someone, like be friends and just chat?
This is why I held onto defending her for so long. I know that feeling of not caring about your health and not caring about putting yourself in dangerous situations. I assumed this was the reasoning. Love you Tana.
You can literally tell how different she looks now vs months ago. She’s glowing. I love Tana so much. And the fact that she’s talking about her mental health helps not only her but everyone else like me who needs it
“i wanted to be sad” what she means by that is she was so comfortable in her sadness, because it was what she knew most. she would rather feel sad than be numb. without her sadness she would be empty.
Coming from how I feel about sadness and wanting to dwell in my own sadness, I feel like maybe she felt like she deserved to be sad .. I dunno. She wanted to be in pain.. (;_;)
“What she means by that is...” who tf is anyone to say what she means? You're not her? Lol. SHE WAS OFFENSIVE REGARDLESS; especially to any healthcare provider. ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW in America.
When she talked about being so depressed that she wouldn’t even go to the bathroom, but she’d hold it until she was struggling. I knew that this was genuine. I had the worst year of depression and the lowest time of my life. I would hold my bladder for days until I was in severe pain because I just could not gather energy to simply get out of bed. None of my thoughts at all were rational. My judgement was so clouded. Nothing mattered, and there was not much I could do. It’s easy to say “go get a therapist” but that’s almost impossible when you can’t even get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Thanks for sharing this with us Tana.
I've been there. For me it was just an utter lack of motivation, concern or caring for myself or others. It's so difficult to explain to someone who hasn't been through it. I thought I knew what depression was, until I experienced it. I was numb to everything.
I feel this so deep into my soul. Currently still going through this point of my depression. While i also have a son who I’m expected to now become his teacher while also being the best wife/person. Life is hard sometimes...❤️
I feel that about how your parents will never say sorry or acknowledge what they did. My dad will never realize what he put me through and I have to accept that he will never give me what I need and that's not my fault.
My father never owned up to what he did to me let alone apologized. I waited for that apology as he laid on his death bed. I never got it. You have to find it within yourself to be the bigger person and let that darkness go, make more space for the light. Do better than him with your own. Learn from his mistakes. Don’t carry his burden.
I met Tana randomly at the Veggie Grill in LA almost 2 years ago now. I went up to her (I'm pretty sure she might've possibly been on the phone...oops) and asked if she was Tana, and she said "Yes oh my god HIII how are you!!" and reached out and gave me a huge hug. We had a super short convo, took a few selfies, she told me, "Also like GO OFF with that pink eye shadow like YES" to which i totally melted, and she then hugged me again and THANKED ME for coming up and saying hi to her. She has the sweetest heart and that day made me love her even more.
I ran into her 5 years ago when she was newly famous, she was shopping in the mall with Bella. My experience was similar to yours, very sweet and showered me and my baby in compliments. 💘
There are a lot of criticisms about Tana but one thing I've always consistently seen is that she's really really lovely to her fans when she meets them in real life. I think she's a bit misguided but I think she's a genuinely nice person trying her best to be honest.
Hearing you say you’re so depressed you didn’t care to live literally is breaking my heart so bad. You’re beautiful, worthy, genuine, and an amazing person. Don’t ever give up, you got this Tana. Take care of yourself before ANYTHING ELSE. 🖤
She has such a good way of explaining and telling a story. She could tell the most boring story and I still would listen to her for hours. Idk if it’s her voice or something, but like damn.
i feel the same way. even a few years ago, when the stories were more immature and superficial, she’s always just had such a way of talking that makes me want to listen. she’s so good at her job
i remember i met her when she had just gotten out of a toxic relationship that she was cheated on multiple times. even with all the hurt going on she was still the most genuine and sweetest person i’ve ever met. she interacts so well with her fans and she talked to my best friend and i like she knew us. she is so professional and down to earth. definitely herself too and that’s what i love about her. the mtv series definitely threw things out of proportion about her.
It is related because we forgot how much he hurt her because she was so "happy" with jake, we forgot that was her getting over him and yeahh she was happy with Jake. But Everything has been trough pain and also more than her ex. And we judged her and forgot that she has bagage and that even Tana frunts her happiness sometimes.....
Everything Tana does is dramatic, THIS ISNT DRAMA. Everything she’s talking about is so real. The speaking about ‘wanting to be sad, not wanting to die but being so depressed that you don’t care if you do, I know I should care but I’m so depressed that I don’t care.’ That shit is SO REAL, it isn’t even funny.
The Last Melon yeah but it’s also like putting those feelings into words no one can really say that without going through it.... you think she’d make an hour video to just explain mental health? Let’s think of this both ways: this isn’t real, this doesn’t affect your life at all OR this is real, this doesn’t affect your life at all but can help thousands even millions of others. Either way it’s not really any of your business.... and don’t say it’s cause you know someone personally because if you’re offended by that then be offended by all the other shit in the world that hasn’t nothing to do with your personal issues. It’s her channel she can post as much content as she wants and if it affects you in any way, don’t watch.
this didn’t even feel like an hour long video. she has so much emotion through the whole thing it’s like watching a movie. she’s so genuine with everything she’s saying. like she’s not doing any of that bullshit fake crying like everyone else does. she’s so real & that’s why everyone really does love her.
Reem Derek I would mind having a few thousand in my bank account lol. My family lost all their jobs and I’m eating top ramen and water. I get jealous of the rich a lot..
Money would make me the happiest person in the world cuz I could take care of my son how I want to and the rest of my family. I want to die because I feel like a failure. Money is the only thing that would make me happy besides my baby boy
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m so proud of tana for making this video. As someone who has had severe depression and anxiety for 6 years and have ptsd from childhood trauma, I applaud her for speaking about this! It’s not easy. I cry every time I talk about it but it has made me stronger and I know she’s going to come out so much stronger because of all of this!
Amanda Remillard I know. Watching this changed my outlook on Tana, in a good way ofc. I have so much respect for people who went through things like this. She so strong and she has genuinely been at her lowest point and got back up to her highest.
That’s what made me watch her I hated her at first because of her voice now I love her because of how she acts with money I’m the same way people can offer me the world I wouldn’t take it show me how you are in the world and we may talk🤷♀️ I’ve been around the rich and they r the worst to be around my poorest friends ate my truest most loyal ❤️💙
but it kinda can, but it can then u feel like u have everything and then u wanna pitty urself and u wanna be sad like others r (wether they actually r is another story), but okay everybody is sad (apparently)... except me and actually a lot of ppl that say they r sad, they’re not they’re happy too😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁, if ur not happy, i’m sorry, but u may not actually sad (wether u made urself believe it, or wether u actually became sad because for some weird reason u wanted to, if ur a sheep ... basically u wanna follow the crowd). i don’t think it’s money that is the issue, it’s how u use ur money and how u decide to live ur life. but, i haven’t watched the whole video (yet) but for her (AND I AM NOT HER, so i could be talking complete bull), it’s more so the fame and her friends, and the drugs may or may not have a huge effect too (hate to say it, but the ppl u surround urself with impact ur life the most, especially if ur one of those ppl that crack under pressure for the sake of being a social animal) anyways i hope EVERYBODY is doing great, and if ur good UR GOOD don’t go looking for something wrong. like common U MUST OF HAD GOOD MEMORIES, and if u don’t have any (highly doubt u don’t even have 1) or enough GO MAKE SOME HAPPY MEMORIES
Xanax is literally a concentrated dose of _amnesia in a pill._ So, not only is it fantastical at numbing pain... it makes you forget any pain/trauma that occurs in the immediate present. All the while, simultaneously hurting the loved ones of whom abuse it.
@@borkalina she obviously isn’t an addict, I’ve talked to my parents on Xanax and it is the worst memory of their lives and that is what got me to go to rehab at 19
Jordan in my opinion is literally one of those people that God (or whoever higher power) gave her knowing her life was tough. He never gives us struggles we cant handle, and if he does, he gives us someone to share it with. Jordan is truly her person and I hope nothing ever stops them. Much love Tana
Krystal C: That makes no sense...”He never gives us struggles we can’t handle, and if he does, he gives us someone...” 🤪 Sorry just thought that was funny 🧐
When she said “he just wanted me to wake up and get better and I was angry that he didn’t understand what I was going through” that’s when I knew how genuine this was. When im really struggling I get so angry and frustrated if people try to help and I just feel like they cannot understand the way that I’m hurting
100% they always try to give me advice and what I should be doing, or what worked for them. Especially hearing they hear what I’m going through and they understand but you know they don’t because you don’t even know fully. I just shut out their voice once I start hearing that and I’ll distance myself... it’s the worst.
Yall need to calm down. Just because you went through something "worse" doesn't mean what happened to Tana was okay. Everyone goes through things and is affected differently, but that doesn't give you the right to compare your trauma and/or life to others. We need to be supporting others TOGETHER and not be AGAINST EACH OTHER. 2020 is meant to be a new start, not a repeat of 2019.
Tamasailau Kempa nobody should compare trauma ever. Something huge can happen to someone and it not affect them, and something seemingly small can happen to someone else and it affects them deeply. But she needs to be careful about how she describes her childhood. She clearly dealt with trauma, abuse, and neglect, but calling a decent sized middle class home “ghetto” is not ok. Talk about having a horrible childhood, fine, but talk about it realistically
When tana said "what am i doing? I'm just existing. I'm not even living." Can't even begin to describe the way this same question and thought process consumes my mind. Tana, you're genuinely one of the strongest people, i know. You are so loved and so valued by so many. Thank you for sharing your journey, and letting us join your life. We are privileged to get to know you the way you let us. Don't let anyone take that. Love u tan xo
I hate that people say they want to meet Tana's parents to "see how bad they are" because a few minutes or hours is not going to be the same as 21 years... she grew up around them for years, and they're not going to treat some stranger the same way they treat their daughter. She built up her hatred over the years based on how they treated her and physically/verbally abused her. Meeting someone one time won't showcase those emotions.
Exactly, I remember being so depressed and my Mum and I were fighting every day and I hated her at the time but when my friends would meet her they'd say she seems nice or she's not that bad. You never know what happens behind closed doors.
Not only that, but a lot of people who abuse their children (and partners) are very different in the exterior world away from their domestic functionings. It’s sort of like encountering an entirely different person. Many charismatic, wonderful, and good-hearted people who function good at work and with friends have been revealed to be abusive, insecure, vicious people. First impressions *are not* everything. People wear masks. And to seek out Tana’s abusers to find any “validity” behind her story are gross. She deserves her privacy. She deserves to keep her past in the past. She’s always been translucent to the childhood she had, even before she got popular. To invalidate her because her parents may seem like “good people” to a stranger is gross.
My mom is the NICEST most thoughtful person. Behind closed doors she’s given me three concussions, and choked me out multiple times. If someone says their parents arnt shit, THEY ARNT SHIT
For real. Suicidal ideation is something you really shouldn’t fight on your own. I also wish she would’ve talked about therapy for the sake of her younger audience who might be struggling. Help is getting more and more accessible/affordable (although there are certainly still people who don’t have the privilege of being able to go to therapy)!!
Yeah..she talks about having symptoms of clinical depression (suicidal thoughts) ..she's so open about mental health and is aware she has trauma and other problems but doesn't mention therapy??? It's so weird. Bad example for her audience
J J i wouldn’t say bad example for her audience bc one persons coping mechanisms are gonna be different for others. i would not say something like that who’s clearly in a vulnerable place
Therapy doesn't always help. Depends on what kind of person you are. I always left therapy feeling way worse, all the things you bring back up and talk about... just for someone to spew out general things like "you have a right to feel that way" just makes you feel shit
Twenty minutes of an MTV reality show could never hit like an hour long episode of tana story time ! Talking to us on the floor with a guaranteed ghetto Tripod. We love you Tana.
Looking back at this video breaks my heart, why did you give up on this healthy new you? Me and you are the same age. We grew up together. I related to you so hard. It hurts me that you gave up on this message from a year ago. I hope you'll come back to her. You inspired me to do better. You can do it again. Love ya
As someone who’s delt with depression, drug addiction, and emotional/ physical abuse from a parent, I’m so proud to hear my favorite RUclipsr speak on this
I feel like even when I was watching the show I could see the hurt through the “bratty” things she was doing because all of these things made me the same way! That was the absolute lowest in my life and I felt like I was seeing the same thing in the mtv videos of tana. So glad she’s doing better😍
Brooke Roberts it’s so true. If they don’t know they don’t want or need to know. God allows us what we can handle and THAT kind of depression, is one I faced completely alone.. by choice I hid away. I can’t imagine being famous being forced to push the anxiety of depression off for the cameras.
When you said “my parents talked to me/said things parents should never say to their kid” I really felt that. Some toxic parents are worse then others, but I felt reallyyy that.
Sometimes being suicidal isn't physically trying to kill yourself. Sometimes it's in not trying to protect yourself from harm that you know could genuinely hurt or kill you, that you would normally try to prevent, but don't. A lot of times it's no longer caring enough to try and stay alive. God bless everyone in these comments as well as Tana. It's never fucking easy. Not for any of us. And i hope we truly find health and happiness in 2020.
throughout every “scandal” i continue to support tana and come back to her i relate to her on another level and i hope one day i can meet her and tell her how proud i am of her
James Coppinger-Parker just because they were given a good hand of cards in life and the willpower to help themselves doesn’t mean that people who are down and need it the most shouldn’t get any love
It’s so sad a scary how much I relate to all aspects to this. I know every thought and emotion you explain especially the sudden “only I can fix me”. It’s like a rubber band at the very end. I went through my 2019 just wanting to absolutely die as well and numbed everything and felt dead inside. I’m so proud of you and everyone who has been able to come out of this mind set. I know how hard it is especially being so young. You are so amazing and I’m so gla you came out of this. We love you, the tana we will always continue to love .
I love that RUclips is Tana’s outlet. But as a person who has suffered with anxiety and depression for a long time, I absolutely support seeing a therapist or councilor. You don’t have to be broken to seek help. The point of therapy is not always to put the pieces together. But to have someone to talk to who can listen and help improve your thoughts.
knowing that jordan is one of the closest people to tana, seeing her yell at him/ be rude to him honestly makes a lot of sense. i’ve been in that place and it’s always the people closest to you that get the worst of it. i’ve said things to my family that i just wish to god i could take back because internally i was facing so much turmoil and i had to put on this face at school and with my friends and it’s so exhausting that when you’re with those people you’re closest to the worst side of you comes out. being in that dark of a place is the worst thing to ever happen to me and coming out of it i realized the only person that could help me was myself and i had to take responsibility for the ways i’d hurt those i love when i was hurting. i really really felt you on this one. i’ve been watching since the dirty ass makeup door, bleach AND TONE. and i’ve seen how much you’ve been doing to help people on twitter the last week. this video reminded me why i love u. xx
addison paystrup You are the worst to the people who love you the most because you know they’re still gonna be there after. Like I’m privileged and blessed to have parents who love me unconditionally and I have said the NASTIEST, most HORRENDOUS shit to them that is so embarrassing to me now that I can’t even think about it but it’s because I knew they’d still be there.
Damn didn’t realize how long ago bleach and tone was lol I feel like the fans that have been watching Tana for this long have seen the toxic people come into her life and thought man those don’t look like the best people to surround yourself with but supported her through it all we love you Tana :)
addison paystrup I agree with this definitely... a few days ago over FaceTime I yelled at my boyfriend and was just mean to him, and I did it bc I was hurting and I was really sensitive and we kept having so many miscommunications that night, and I felt so bad. We immediately made up but I still feel guilty now, and I wish I could take it back and just listened to him instead of quite literally, picking random arguments with him that weren’t necessary. Him and I have luckily gone through a lot together and we never leave a conversation or anything without finding a way to make up and talk things out
thats so true, I do that too which makes me hate myself even more... like when something bothers me why do I yell at my boyfriend or my mom days later instead of telling the person who actually made me angry...
when u said u didn’t wanna just “exist” anymore u wanted to actually “live” that is now my biggest inspiration bescides u getting your health together i love u mom💗💗😪🥰
user420 youtube has never been about reputation for her. Tana has been her most authentic self since day 1. you obviously aren’t a fan of hers and haven’t seen a lot of her videos. 🤦♀️ just leave.
Watching tana open up about her childhood trauma has really helped me get through my own. I’ve been watching her since I was 14 (I’m 18 now) and I was going through some really shitty shit but seeing her talk about going through a lot of the same things I was really taught me how to accept the past and try to build something better for myself. Thanks sis🖤
The flashback thing hurt me. I can't wear red lipstick because when I put it on I get a flashback to when my mother was stumbling, half dressed, saying she had a date. She was incredibly high and I had to *physically fight her as a ten year old* to get her to not leave the house while my little brother was sleeping in the next room. We look like twins so when I put red lipstick on I just see her out of her mind expression on my face and it makes me sob. Certain smells will also set me off whether I'm at home or in public or at work.
"I wasn't trying to kill myself, I just didn't care if I died" I get that, depression makes you have zero care in the world to the point where life becomes meaningless and feels so exhausting. I hope anyone going through gets the help they need and ends up in a happy place they should be💞
Childhood trauma has so much affect on a person’s adulthood. Trauma does soo much to a persons brain. It’s really important to process all of this, so you can live a life with more peace and empowerment. I think you should try trauma therapy, it might really help! Good luck xo
“I’m just existing” I know that feeling so well. It’s EXHAUSTING on top of everything else you were going through. Hearing you talking about deciding to change your life brought me to tears. This was a perfect way to address everything because it is so genuine and so crystalline clear that we are seeing YOU. I hate knowing that there are still going to be people who willingly choose to stay closed minded and hateful, but I hope you know how much we love you. So in love with your soul, sweet Tana.
"I wasn't trying to kill myself.. but I didn't care if I died" I felt this to a whole new level. I love you Tana and I'm so happy to see how far you've came and how you are not afraid to speak out that you have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts.
Isn’t it crazy, how depression changes a person in so many ways. It’s such a breath of fresh air when you come out of it. 22- 23 years old were my hardest years! Proud of you babe
As someone with a horrible home life and my personal struggles with addiction and mental health, I am so proud of you. I’m not at the same point you are yet but, you give me hope. Much love to you Tana ♥️
Tana, one of the reasons I know you are a good person is the fact that Ashley, Imari, and Trevor have never left your side. If you weren't a real ass person, they would have left years ago. We love you!
It's sad looking back at this video that was 7 months ago and seeing her instagram and posts on RUclips now is just her smoking everyday and her health not good and then you watch this video I don't know it's just sad
"i wasn't trying to kill myself but i didn't care if i died" bro u have no idea how much i feel that and how my eyes filled with tears. i haven't been able to even feel a tear in the last few months...and i started crying cuz i felt it...
im sorry that you are going through a rough time, if you need to talk to someone i can give you my number. im not a therapist but you need to know atleast somone cares about you.
@@reagancravens8675 ur so sweet omg it's okay tho i don't wanna feel like a burden i'll get through it. thank u so so soo much tho ur super amazing. i appreciate it alot.🖤🖤
This whole video reminded me of one of my favorite J.K. Rowling quotes: "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." Welcome to the sunny side of life, hunny!
this was really really sad. she should write a book. i feel like tana is meant to be a storyteller and i feel like maybe it could be a great outlet for her pain.
...literally majority of people have issues especially concerning their family and upbringing etc. I really dont want to sound rude but shes not special and theres millions of other good hearted people out there that would give anything to be where she is and wouldnt do half the fucked up shit she has.
this and your newest video are giving me hope again & making me want to start taking care of myself and start fresh. thank you tana for sharing such a real look into what hitting rock bottom looks and feels like.
I’m 28 years old, and from experience I can tell you that you will never get what you need from your toxic parents. Broken parents can’t take care of themselves, let alone take care of their children in a healthy way. It’s not an excuse, but it’s something you have to accept so that you can let go of your expectations of them one day being a good parent. Set your boundaries and take care of yourself. You can only control what you do, and how you respond to toxicity
So true. I have one parent that I've never ever gotten emotional (or any) support from my whole life and I continually let myself get let down year after year hoping they finally would. Now in my late 20s I realize it's never going to happen and that's just not the type of parent they are. I'm so lucky and thankful to have one incredible parent who I'd die without and the other one could go years without hearing from me and not even care. It actually helps me be a better parent, knowing I never want my kids to ever feel that way.
Jana Aridi shes warm-toned. Her blonde is getting warmer and she’s wearing gold jewelry. Doing things in coordination with your undertone helps immensely with how healthy you look
She’s kept the same closest friends for years.... I think that says something about who she is and how she treats others
Fucking exactly!
thisss
So so so true! Everyone needs to see this!!
I watched a NT video and she said when she met Tana, she was one of the nicest RUclipsrs she'd ever met. She said she treated her like they'd been friends for years.
Yesssss!!!!
When tana said “I wasn’t trying to kill my self I just didn’t care if I died” I felt that asf
Tana: acts dumb and ignorant
Fans: hell no
Tana: Makes a deep and meaningful video about her problems
Fans: OK we forgive you
Repeat
tubester4567 ...isn’t -> acting dumb/ignorant, being called out/shit going down; then LEARNING you were dumb and ignorant; TRYING to be less dumb and ignorant; then until you do the next thing that’s dumb and ignorant .... isn’t it all just the necessary path to being the best person you can be? No kid comes out of the womb not dumb and not ignorant.....All you can really do is not give up on trying to non-dumb and non-ignorant.
Out of 1.2k likes, there are 2 comments not even related to your comment?
I guess I will say what needs to be said.
I have been through this, as well. You don't want to be "responsible" or for it to be "obvious" that you did something, but you don't care about the situations you put yourself in if they could potentially hurt you.
I want you to know that I care about you, and I want you to care about yourself. I don't know you or anything about you, but I know that you were put on this earth for a reason and you are worth it.
Have you told anyone about this in person?
Been there
Been there soooo many times
When she said she loves her parents but they were never meant to be ones my heart literally broke
I could never relate to any sentence more than with this one
Matylda yeah I felt that big time...
This how i feel
God this is my father
That's verbatim how I describe my dad
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
when tana said “i love my parents but they weren’t fit to be parents” i felt that
Same
I felt that shit on a spiritual level
Same
Yea ight
:(
my dad is literally 40 years old, and still harbors resentment from his childhood. still talks about it all the time. it genuinely affects a person for the rest of their life. especially if they dont get help.
same thing with my dad.....
Same
Kahliah Ross literally just experienced this with my aunt.. we didn’t even know she had so much resentment in her
Kahliah Ross yes, my dad is 65 and never got therapy and has serious mood and emotional and behavior problems from his childhood
My mother
"my parents will never say sorry the way I wanted them too" felt that to the point where I needed to hear that and just truly understand it. Thank you Tana!
shortyhoodie I am with you! I felt that because I completely understand it!
Me too. It’s so damaging to have parents that don’t except your perception of life or your reality of what your childhood really was.
I’m so happy she said that. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for years. Someone told me that and things started to change.
You’re on the path of healing!
shortyhoodie agreed 3000%!
Sad and true reality.
I hate how people don’t realize depression isn’t always spacing out and distancing and looking sad. You can feel this almost consuming mixture of rage and apathy. You lash out, you push people away, you genuinely don’t care if you die , it’s genuinely overwhelming. Every part of you doesn’t feel the same, not in any way. Sometimes the people that even come near you enrage you and you have no idea why. People often just say it’s brattiness, but by calling someone a brat that’s in this dark hole of despair it just solidifies their feeling of loneliness and not-belonging. Or if someone isn’t acknowledging anything , it doesn’t make them rude, sometimes we don’t even want to acknowledge ourselves or the world
Kids Bandt 100% agree. My depression isn’t just me being sad. I get so angry, frustrated, annoyed and lash out. I could see on her show how bad she was suffering. You don’t wanna be that angry but you also don’t realize you’re being like that until after and it hurts even more thinking back to how you acted. I feel bad for her
Thank you for putting it into words. That was honestly such a good description of what it's like. Completely agree
Yeah depression doesn’t excuse toxic behavior though
Kendra A ^ agreed.
Kids Bandt !!
when you don't care if you're alive or not, that's the scariest feeling in the world but at the same time, you don't care.
Wiktoria Knowles ig gets scary after you're out of that place
It’s terrifying
Honestly that's a dark place and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
Craig Terry I do
@@maduamadura true
Why is this the best tanas hair looks, girl ditch the extensions, just go natural
Lauren Thomas I thought the same thing it looks soo healthy
Lauren Thomas it’s also because it’s not pin straight too. She looks so much better like this tbh
I think she still got some extensions in it
She looks AMAZING in this video! Her hair has come a long way over the years
She looks so much younger.
Tana, my love, please go see a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and/or depression. It would provide you a private place to speak without judgement, and more importantly it helps you get in touch with yourself. If you end up going on antidepressants, give them a chance - they saved my life
ammouring ammouring yes ^^ for real. And/or addiction. EMDR is crazy for trauma but is proved to often be really effective. It’s hard to do but life changing
ammouring ammouring I’ve only been on them a month I’m not sure that I feel that different do you think it needs more time😢
finally someone who understands and tries to help Tana instead of bringing her down even more! Also i dont know you but im glad you got the help that you needed😊 hope you are doing much much better❤️
@@looksbyaj7476 I'd see if you feel any different within the next few weeks, if not go back to your doctor. They may need to up your dosage or change meds. I had to try 3 different ones until I found one that worked for me.
please tana we love u 🥺
“The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.” I don’t think some people actually realise how badly a traumatic childhood can be so debilitating on adulthood. We should all spread some love and encouragement for growth and healing. I wish you the best Tana
Laura Kilworth THANK YOU!! it needed to be said
Laura Kilworth YES. Just because to others it may seem like her childhood “wasn’t that bad”... it was obviously very traumatic. Just because her breaking point was different than someone else’s doesn’t make her feelings less valid. I’m tired of seeing comments saying they’ve had it “worse” when any kind of emotional abuse is AWFUL and can affect others so different
absolutely! it’s bothering me that so many comments are undermining childhood trauma on adulthood. she’s not “using that card everytime” it literally impacts EVERYTHING you ever do as an adult. i hope she gets better and doesn’t take that shit seriously
@@adaaleide yes holy shit this comment!!
I agree. But, at some point you have to work through those issues. First thing is realizing you have them. Shes young but the sooner she worries about her the better. It's easier for her to worry about someone else other than herself. It's sad and I do wish her the very best!
When you take all the weed and alcohol out of her system, she looks and sounds sooooo much healthier... Wish you all the best Tana, love you
Beatriz Ramos dude r u serious? Grow up
Bardi Damn what... that is absolutely true. People who go through depression often times turn to substances to make themselves feel better or feel something. I did that with alcohol. When you finally stop and can think clear and your face goes back down from alcohol puffiness and you get your voice back from an almost permanent raspy state. Thats a beautiful thing.
Chelsea Munroe Thats not what I’m talking about u just gave a back handed comment to her at the expense of her mental health it was insensitive
I didn’t make the original comment
Bardi Damn that’s not a backhanded compliment. She said she sounds healthier meaning her mind is clearer which is true so chillax
Anyone else noticed that Tana didn’t cough YES HEALTH
It's super edited though....
A Leigh super edited? You must be new lol this is an hour video, obvs shes edited it a bit but this video is barely edited and thats the whole point
@@sageevergreen4868 to each their own man.
Dom daVinci do you not see all the jump cuts.
Dom daVinci yooou just be new here. Tana is the queen of recording way too gadamn much and then cutting it down. I’d bet everything I own that she had at least 2 full hours of footage. Probably more.
She absolutely coughed while filming this. She just finally learned that we don’t want to see it.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but I definitely didn’t care if I died” this takes so much courage to post. People will look at you differently but everyone who genuinely cares about you will be proud of you for speaking your truth. Thank you for raising awareness about mental illness and addiction and how they can affect eachother and starting to break the stigma. The world thanks you ❤️
Madelyn Eggler the world doesnt thank her lmao it would be better without stupid people like this
valiums she has struggled with so much and I’m so proud of how amazing she is. The world needs people like tana.
I feel the same. Being broke during to this pandemic makes me want to die. And the government isn't helping at all
Madelyn Eggler that was me everyday taking a handful of pills, i would say "if i die, i die"
She is so intelligent hahaha her marketing scales are pretty good , she knows her audience , she knows how to create drama , and she knows how to get out of them too , she is making money moves yall
And always remember how she always says that's she's a very nice actress
Btw , her content is very entertaining! Loveyou tanaaaa
her calling her parents “those people” hit me
#lifesrough 🤪😂
fr like i felt that so hard
It’s terrifying when you get older & see your parents through your eyes as an adult vs a kid & you either love them more or realize they are just other people on this planet you might not actually like.
You gotta feel so bad for people, like Tana, that are basically orphans because BOTH their parents are just so fucked as ppl. Heart goes out. I see it in real life. Ppl who had great parents compared to those who had shitty parents, just no comparison.
i feel like she needs to rewatch this video right about now :(
im so worried about her
@@lynasarus i feel so bad that everyone thinks tana is this careless person when she's actually such a beautiful soul. i love her sm.
@@lynasarus why what’s going on with tana??
@@MonicaOke she's on xanax again
“My parents will never say sorry the way that I want them to.” I’ve never related to something more than that sentence.
same yo... it took me so long to come to this painful realization, but once I did I felt like I could finally move on with my life.
Same and I'm in my thirties
Same . My mom will be like “sorry hunny”. But I’m like no you don’t get it.
Jenny B I’m 27 I guess we all just have to learn to be the bigger person. Sometimes that means to distance yourself far from the toxic ppl even if it’s your mom or dad.
Same... my egg and sperm donors never will I can feel that line...
She looks like facetune tana in this video
Rightttt
Lizzrodrigo1236 Honestly thooough🤩🤩
She’s been looking so good lately!!
333 likes
Jasmin Appleby it’s that post breakup glow up baby!!🥰
“I love my parents, but they weren’t meant to be parents” if only more people understood that just because society tells you have to have kids shouldn’t mean you do. My parents weren’t meant to be parents and I suffered for it too. The advice you can all take from this is don’t bring a child into the world just because you can. It’s a human being. It deserves a healthy environment to grow up in
The best quote I've ever heard regarding neglectful parents is "you can feel sad for another adult while still being mad at your parents"
blood doesn’t make family!!! actions do!!!
As someone who also has a rough relationship with their parents the best advice i can give someone who still holds on to there negative emotions do to their parents when you are well into your adult life is you just have to forgive and forget and Drown up or else you will never get anywhere by holding childish resentment in your heart.
exactly why abortion should be legal
Miso Soup i couldn’t agree more
These are the videos I missed, where tana just sat down and talked about things. This why I followed her, I missed her so much just sitting down being real.
I felt her when she was saying how she wasn’t trying to end her life but continued living recklessly. Just living in the depressed state of whatever happens, happens and you can’t bring yourself to care. That’s the phase I’m in now and consistently go through. it’s the worst
Jade Afatasi if she can bring herself out of it, so can you. It’s worth it to try. And I believe that you’ll get better.
I feel you sis, we can get out of this together xx
@jade afatasi I totally relate...It's the shittiest feeling in the world and you feel like you have no control of yourself anymore it's scary and I've lived that way for soo long without realizing it,that I'm just living in survival mode everyday but not really caring if I survive or not ? And then when you try and other people think you're not trying even tho you just aren't at their level,they don't realize how seriously you've been contemplating and how hard it is to keep going. Only people that have been through certain things can fully relate and empathize, i haven't watched her for a long time but just got caught up on the Mtv show today and I could see me in her, she's so young still and when your abusing substances on top of it you kinda get mentally stuck at that age when you started and I've been reflecting so much on my own life and how I got to where I am. It's defeating a lot of the time, but I love how real she's being, i could see through it on the show and I haven't been around long. It was like a punch in the gut and a sting in my heart when she said that, cuz I knew. I hope she can get the help and support she needs and live a happy life..It definitely can't happen overnight tho. I feel for anyone going through severe mental health issues/suicidal ideation/addiction.. stay strong, I'm trying to 💜💜💜
Jade Afatasi I’m right there with you sis, living on a couch couch-surfing in the quarantine is doing wild things to my mindset... not to be pushy but can I talk to someone, like be friends and just chat?
@@katybay277 I need the same thing girl :(
This is why I held onto defending her for so long. I know that feeling of not caring about your health and not caring about putting yourself in dangerous situations. I assumed this was the reasoning. Love you Tana.
You can literally tell how different she looks now vs months ago. She’s glowing. I love Tana so much. And the fact that she’s talking about her mental health helps not only her but everyone else like me who needs it
Jordan LaFebre she looks healthy
Agreed
Jordan LaFebre I’m the 420th like
This is a Tana I can stand behind. Authentic looks good on her.
Authentic is the opposite of what she is.
@@thelastmelon449 she has her moments but I believe she's being authentic in this video.
Lmao sure
Don't be fooled
lmao.............
“i wanted to be sad” what she means by that is she was so comfortable in her sadness, because it was what she knew most. she would rather feel sad than be numb. without her sadness she would be empty.
so accurate
Well ducking worded
felt this :(
Coming from how I feel about sadness and wanting to dwell in my own sadness, I feel like maybe she felt like she deserved to be sad .. I dunno. She wanted to be in pain.. (;_;)
“What she means by that is...” who tf is anyone to say what she means? You're not her? Lol. SHE WAS OFFENSIVE REGARDLESS; especially to any healthcare provider. ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW in America.
Truly, Tana, I’ve seen you at events and all and even though we aren’t that close, you’ve ALWAYS been SO nice to me and people around you!
WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN
@@arsh6027 if that's what u call it.
No she’s a brat like camon look at her vids
When she talked about being so depressed that she wouldn’t even go to the bathroom, but she’d hold it until she was struggling. I knew that this was genuine. I had the worst year of depression and the lowest time of my life. I would hold my bladder for days until I was in severe pain because I just could not gather energy to simply get out of bed. None of my thoughts at all were rational. My judgement was so clouded. Nothing mattered, and there was not much I could do. It’s easy to say “go get a therapist” but that’s almost impossible when you can’t even get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Thanks for sharing this with us Tana.
Hey JessJones same girl but we got through it
I've been there. For me it was just an utter lack of motivation, concern or caring for myself or others. It's so difficult to explain to someone who hasn't been through it. I thought I knew what depression was, until I experienced it. I was numb to everything.
I feel this so deep into my soul. Currently still going through this point of my depression. While i also have a son who I’m expected to now become his teacher while also being the best wife/person. Life is hard sometimes...❤️
I literally do that lol I had no idea that holding ur pee till you have to go was a sign of depression.
Follow my charming 👁️
I feel that about how your parents will never say sorry or acknowledge what they did. My dad will never realize what he put me through and I have to accept that he will never give me what I need and that's not my fault.
My father never owned up to what he did to me let alone apologized. I waited for that apology as he laid on his death bed. I never got it. You have to find it within yourself to be the bigger person and let that darkness go, make more space for the light. Do better than him with your own. Learn from his mistakes. Don’t carry his burden.
I felt this 1000% I can’t stress it enough!
When she zipped up the jacket I was like whoa she is serious.
Hello Jordy SAME
dead
😂😂😂😂 same
Hello Jordy but still a solid amount of cleavage, because Tana.
A true superhero.
I met Tana randomly at the Veggie Grill in LA almost 2 years ago now. I went up to her (I'm pretty sure she might've possibly been on the phone...oops) and asked if she was Tana, and she said "Yes oh my god HIII how are you!!" and reached out and gave me a huge hug. We had a super short convo, took a few selfies, she told me, "Also like GO OFF with that pink eye shadow like YES" to which i totally melted, and she then hugged me again and THANKED ME for coming up and saying hi to her. She has the sweetest heart and that day made me love her even more.
I've ran into her at the mall and she was so so nice! :) she took a picture with me and held my puppy. this was the time she had pink hair
I could only imagine how nice she is
I ran into her 5 years ago when she was newly famous, she was shopping in the mall with Bella. My experience was similar to yours, very sweet and showered me and my baby in compliments. 💘
There are a lot of criticisms about Tana but one thing I've always consistently seen is that she's really really lovely to her fans when she meets them in real life. I think she's a bit misguided but I think she's a genuinely nice person trying her best to be honest.
Hearing you say you’re so depressed you didn’t care to live literally is breaking my heart so bad. You’re beautiful, worthy, genuine, and an amazing person. Don’t ever give up, you got this Tana. Take care of yourself before ANYTHING ELSE. 🖤
Jake Paul who? Lol haven’t bothered to look at his shit since the breakup. Glad you’re keeping your head up Tana.
Were they a Real thing? I thought it was staged
Samantha Elliot she was the only reason he stayed relevant lol like literally where did he go
Cece Rinaldi he cant even pull 1 million views anymore
Heavy Metal Kitten yes he can are you dumb? go check his channel out
Heavy Metal Kitten not even a jake paul fan whatsoever but don’t talk shit if it’s not true?
She has such a good way of explaining and telling a story. She could tell the most boring story and I still would listen to her for hours. Idk if it’s her voice or something, but like damn.
i feel the same way. even a few years ago, when the stories were more immature and superficial, she’s always just had such a way of talking that makes me want to listen. she’s so good at her job
Yes that is how it all started haha
Tana acts like a dumbass half the time, but she’s a smart girl. Well spoken. Genuine.
probably because she takes a boring story and adds 99% lies to make it sound cooler than it actually was.
I agree. I love listening to her talk and tell stories.
i remember i met her when she had just gotten out of a toxic relationship that she was cheated on multiple times. even with all the hurt going on she was still the most genuine and sweetest person i’ve ever met. she interacts so well with her fans and she talked to my best friend and i like she knew us. she is so professional and down to earth. definitely herself too and that’s what i love about her. the mtv series definitely threw things out of proportion about her.
Sophia Aponte I don’t doubt that, wish I could meet her too
LMAO WHEN HAS SHE EVER BEEN GENUINE?!
Since her being with Jake I literally forgot about her ex. I wonder if she forgot him as fast we did.(that’s unrelated, but still)
It is related because we forgot how much he hurt her because she was so "happy" with jake, we forgot that was her getting over him and yeahh she was happy with Jake. But Everything has been trough pain and also more than her ex. And we judged her and forgot that she has bagage and that even Tana frunts her happiness sometimes.....
considering he cheated on her, i hope she forgot as fast as we did
lol gurl24 she definitely didn’t forget abt him as fast as us lmfao she literally dated him
sofia sierra obviously but she moved on kinda quick and I really forgot about him
Everything Tana does is dramatic, THIS ISNT DRAMA. Everything she’s talking about is so real. The speaking about ‘wanting to be sad, not wanting to die but being so depressed that you don’t care if you do, I know I should care but I’m so depressed that I don’t care.’ That shit is SO REAL, it isn’t even funny.
Kara Colin I’ve been feeling like that lately and the fact that she was even able to put it into words is awesome lmao. Shit is crazy.
Katelyn Cecelia it’s hard not to sometimes. Just know you’re never alone!
How do you know it’s real? She is going to say whatever makes her look better. She uses mental health issues to manipulate people and that’s not okay.
The Last Melon yeah but it’s also like putting those feelings into words no one can really say that without going through it.... you think she’d make an hour video to just explain mental health? Let’s think of this both ways: this isn’t real, this doesn’t affect your life at all OR this is real, this doesn’t affect your life at all but can help thousands even millions of others. Either way it’s not really any of your business.... and don’t say it’s cause you know someone personally because if you’re offended by that then be offended by all the other shit in the world that hasn’t nothing to do with your personal issues. It’s her channel she can post as much content as she wants and if it affects you in any way, don’t watch.
fr
this didn’t even feel like an hour long video. she has so much emotion through the whole thing it’s like watching a movie. she’s so genuine with everything she’s saying. like she’s not doing any of that bullshit fake crying like everyone else does. she’s so real & that’s why everyone really does love her.
izzy she’s doing a great job with her optics.
I'm not crying *
on another note, Tana's makeup looks so good
Ali Blanchard so does her hair 😍 she just looks amazing
No, it does not.
iloveit somuch yes, it does.
Tana is the definition of money can’t buy happiness.PLEASE GET BETTER WE JUST WANT FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
Reem Derek I would mind having a few thousand in my bank account lol. My family lost all their jobs and I’m eating top ramen and water. I get jealous of the rich a lot..
ok but if you had money all the time soon you’d too realize money doesn’t buy happiness
not everybody
Money would make me the happiest person in the world cuz I could take care of my son how I want to and the rest of my family. I want to die because I feel like a failure. Money is the only thing that would make me happy besides my baby boy
No, she’s the definition of, “money buys a fuck ton of happiness, but when you fuck up, just pretend you’re depressed.”
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m so proud of tana for making this video. As someone who has had severe depression and anxiety for 6 years and have ptsd from childhood trauma, I applaud her for speaking about this! It’s not easy. I cry every time I talk about it but it has made me stronger and I know she’s going to come out so much stronger because of all of this!
Amanda Remillard I know. Watching this changed my outlook on Tana, in a good way ofc. I have so much respect for people who went through things like this. She so strong and she has genuinely been at her lowest point and got back up to her highest.
Man, people really are gullible.
13リナ 🤷🏼♀️ take your negativity elsewhere 😘
THIS!! 💓🙌🏼
@@amandaremillard8055 but it's true tho, she keeps recycling this. lmao I applaud for that.
Tana is living proof that money can’t buy happiness
Yes.... Thisssss. 💔💯
Also Trisha paytas
That’s what made me watch her I hated her at first because of her voice now I love her because of how she acts with money I’m the same way people can offer me the world I wouldn’t take it show me how you are in the world and we may talk🤷♀️ I’ve been around the rich and they r the worst to be around my poorest friends ate my truest most loyal ❤️💙
but it kinda can, but it can then u feel like u have everything and then u wanna pitty urself and u wanna be sad like others r (wether they actually r is another story), but okay everybody is sad (apparently)... except me and actually a lot of ppl that say they r sad, they’re not they’re happy too😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁, if ur not happy, i’m sorry, but u may not actually sad (wether u made urself believe it, or wether u actually became sad because for some weird reason u wanted to, if ur a sheep ... basically u wanna follow the crowd). i don’t think it’s money that is the issue, it’s how u use ur money and how u decide to live ur life. but, i haven’t watched the whole video (yet) but for her (AND I AM NOT HER, so i could be talking complete bull), it’s more so the fame and her friends, and the drugs may or may not have a huge effect too (hate to say it, but the ppl u surround urself with impact ur life the most, especially if ur one of those ppl that crack under pressure for the sake of being a social animal) anyways i hope EVERYBODY is doing great, and if ur good UR GOOD don’t go looking for something wrong. like common U MUST OF HAD GOOD MEMORIES, and if u don’t have any (highly doubt u don’t even have 1) or enough GO MAKE SOME HAPPY MEMORIES
shit well it can buy mine
Jordan saying “I would be devastated if anything happened to Tana” holds so much more weight now. 😔
Alyssa Kobler who is jordan
Amona Saleh her manager
yoooooooo I felt that 😫
"i wasn't trying to kill myself but i didnt care if i died"....i felt that tana. i love you dude
22:15
hayl groff Hayl we love u too qween💜
YES FELT THAT HARD
Xanax is literally a concentrated dose of _amnesia in a pill._ So, not only is it fantastical at numbing pain... it makes you forget any pain/trauma that occurs in the immediate present. All the while, simultaneously hurting the loved ones of whom abuse it.
Yeah because drugs are so “fantastical” LOL
@@borkalina she obviously isn’t an addict, I’ve talked to my parents on Xanax and it is the worst memory of their lives and that is what got me to go to rehab at 19
@@borkalina they did not mean it in a good way lol
Jordan in my opinion is literally one of those people that God (or whoever higher power) gave her knowing her life was tough. He never gives us struggles we cant handle, and if he does, he gives us someone to share it with. Jordan is truly her person and I hope nothing ever stops them. Much love Tana
Love this so true
Krystal C: That makes no sense...”He never gives us struggles we can’t handle, and if he does, he gives us someone...” 🤪
Sorry just thought that was funny 🧐
or perhaps it was coincidence. they just happened to really get along and eventually get very close.
Jordan is a real life Angel! 🤎
Or maybe just an enabler
When she said “he just wanted me to wake up and get better and I was angry that he didn’t understand what I was going through” that’s when I knew how genuine this was. When im really struggling I get so angry and frustrated if people try to help and I just feel like they cannot understand the way that I’m hurting
Same.
Same as well😔
Exactly
100% they always try to give me advice and what I should be doing, or what worked for them. Especially hearing they hear what I’m going through and they understand but you know they don’t because you don’t even know fully. I just shut out their voice once I start hearing that and I’ll distance myself... it’s the worst.
Yes!
Yall need to calm down. Just because you went through something "worse" doesn't mean what happened to Tana was okay. Everyone goes through things and is affected differently, but that doesn't give you the right to compare your trauma and/or life to others. We need to be supporting others TOGETHER and not be AGAINST EACH OTHER. 2020 is meant to be a new start, not a repeat of 2019.
Tamasailau Kempa YEEASSSSS honestly everyone under the mtv videos is like i WeNT thRoUgH TraUma tOo bUt I hANdle IT beTter🙄
Or miNe WaS wAY woRse blablabla
Tamasailau Kempa well said💯!👏🏽❤️
Tamasailau Kempa nobody should compare trauma ever. Something huge can happen to someone and it not affect them, and something seemingly small can happen to someone else and it affects them deeply. But she needs to be careful about how she describes her childhood. She clearly dealt with trauma, abuse, and neglect, but calling a decent sized middle class home “ghetto” is not ok. Talk about having a horrible childhood, fine, but talk about it realistically
Tamasailau Kempa ALL🧤SUFFERING🧤IS 🧤VALID🧤
When tana said "what am i doing? I'm just existing. I'm not even living." Can't even begin to describe the way this same question and thought process consumes my mind. Tana, you're genuinely one of the strongest people, i know. You are so loved and so valued by so many. Thank you for sharing your journey, and letting us join your life. We are privileged to get to know you the way you let us. Don't let anyone take that. Love u tan xo
I hate that people say they want to meet Tana's parents to "see how bad they are" because a few minutes or hours is not going to be the same as 21 years... she grew up around them for years, and they're not going to treat some stranger the same way they treat their daughter. She built up her hatred over the years based on how they treated her and physically/verbally abused her. Meeting someone one time won't showcase those emotions.
Exactly, I remember being so depressed and my Mum and I were fighting every day and I hated her at the time but when my friends would meet her they'd say she seems nice or she's not that bad. You never know what happens behind closed doors.
well said
Not only that, but a lot of people who abuse their children (and partners) are very different in the exterior world away from their domestic functionings. It’s sort of like encountering an entirely different person. Many charismatic, wonderful, and good-hearted people who function good at work and with friends have been revealed to be abusive, insecure, vicious people. First impressions *are not* everything. People wear masks.
And to seek out Tana’s abusers to find any “validity” behind her story are gross. She deserves her privacy. She deserves to keep her past in the past. She’s always been translucent to the childhood she had, even before she got popular. To invalidate her because her parents may seem like “good people” to a stranger is gross.
My mom is the NICEST most thoughtful person. Behind closed doors she’s given me three concussions, and choked me out multiple times. If someone says their parents arnt shit, THEY ARNT SHIT
You explained this situation well.
All I wanted to hear was she was going to therapy, hope we can hear that soon.
Rosario Mata same!!
For real. Suicidal ideation is something you really shouldn’t fight on your own. I also wish she would’ve talked about therapy for the sake of her younger audience who might be struggling. Help is getting more and more accessible/affordable (although there are certainly still people who don’t have the privilege of being able to go to therapy)!!
Yeah..she talks about having symptoms of clinical depression (suicidal thoughts) ..she's so open about mental health and is aware she has trauma and other problems but doesn't mention therapy??? It's so weird. Bad example for her audience
J J i wouldn’t say bad example for her audience bc one persons coping mechanisms are gonna be different for others. i would not say something like that who’s clearly in a vulnerable place
Therapy doesn't always help.
Depends on what kind of person you are.
I always left therapy feeling way worse, all the things you bring back up and talk about... just for someone to spew out general things like "you have a right to feel that way" just makes you feel shit
It’s not the darkness people love, It’s the authenticity Tana.
YES!!! Exactly. 🙌
But I think that’s what her definition of “darkness” is. It’s her reality. It’s the depth into her life she’s referring too.
Agreed
How did u include authentic and Tana in the same sentence
When was she authentic? Lmk.
I’m so proud of Tana. She’s absolutely glowing. This is what healing looks like.
Thats make up. x
Barrie Reid I’m not talking about her actual skin you butt dart. x
Falling veneers, bleached hair, and overly injected lips look healthy to you? It’s not.
😂😂😂😂🤦🏼♀️
Proud of what? She’s a horrible person
Hey, don't do a season 3. Let the relationship with MTV end.
B L couldn’t agree more ❤️❤️❤️🥺
B L lowkey befor this video i was sooo looking foward to season 3 but now im just like......🤦♀️🤦♀️
but...the moneyyyyyy
@@hannahe5769 well just one less Louie bags for miss Tana over here
Hannah E but.....her heaaaalthhhhh
We love a queen who admits her struggles, doesn’t always try to sell something, has fell down and got up! I’m proud of you, Tana!
THIS 🤘🙌
She’s fallen over 10x now maybe she shouldn’t get back up. You’re supporting a toxic train wreck. I smell mad parent issues with her
@@stillhanginginthere2.066 weird, 'cause that's clearly where you're sitting
still hanging in there 2.0 havec au wonderfuln dayt!
xolilmiss chief that doesn’t even make sense? Maybe be more specific on what you’re saying next time? Haha
Twenty minutes of an MTV reality show could never hit like an hour long episode of tana story time ! Talking to us on the floor with a guaranteed ghetto Tripod. We love you Tana.
Sydney Stewart this!
Couldn't agree more. This is what we subscribe for
Sydney Stewart only because she got caught and got hate she doesn’t wanna lose $$$
Oh no honey
Looking back at this video breaks my heart, why did you give up on this healthy new you? Me and you are the same age. We grew up together. I related to you so hard. It hurts me that you gave up on this message from a year ago. I hope you'll come back to her. You inspired me to do better. You can do it again. Love ya
what has happened to her?
As someone who’s delt with depression, drug addiction, and emotional/ physical abuse from a parent, I’m so proud to hear my favorite RUclipsr speak on this
Same !
I feel like even when I was watching the show I could see the hurt through the “bratty” things she was doing because all of these things made me the same way! That was the absolute lowest in my life and I felt like I was seeing the same thing in the mtv videos of tana. So glad she’s doing better😍
Same
same :)
" I can tell the difference between haters and fans who are disappointed about something I did" Lily Singh could never
What do you mean?
What?
Victoria Lopez they’re talking about her criticism with her talk show and how she takes it as “hate”.
Her and Gabbie Hanna
@@luka.renoir sometimes when people criticize her constructively, she takes it as hate
Happy for people who don’t understand tana’s depression because they’ve obviously never felt that low. It is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Brooke Roberts it’s so true. If they don’t know they don’t want or need to know. God allows us what we can handle and THAT kind of depression, is one I faced completely alone.. by choice I hid away. I can’t imagine being famous being forced to push the anxiety of depression off for the cameras.
Facts
You shouldn’t compare depression with other people’s depression
Ree Ree wasn’t trying to but I can relate
GoldenDreamBarbie yeah I understand
When you said “my parents talked to me/said things parents should never say to their kid” I really felt that.
Some toxic parents are worse then others, but I felt reallyyy that.
Courtney same I felt that on a whole other level😕
Sometimes being suicidal isn't physically trying to kill yourself. Sometimes it's in not trying to protect yourself from harm that you know could genuinely hurt or kill you, that you would normally try to prevent, but don't. A lot of times it's no longer caring enough to try and stay alive. God bless everyone in these comments as well as Tana. It's never fucking easy. Not for any of us. And i hope we truly find health and happiness in 2020.
I missed this tana, I've always supported her but I could always tell she was going through something
throughout every “scandal” i continue to support tana and come back to her i relate to her on another level and i hope one day i can meet her and tell her how proud i am of her
From the heart she gave your comment I think you got to tell her 😁 I’m sure it means the world
sheep
same
There are far more interesting, talented and worthwhile content creators more deserving of support than Tana.
James Coppinger-Parker just because they were given a good hand of cards in life and the willpower to help themselves doesn’t mean that people who are down and need it the most shouldn’t get any love
It’s so sad a scary how much I relate to all aspects to this. I know every thought and emotion you explain especially the sudden “only I can fix me”. It’s like a rubber band at the very end. I went through my 2019 just wanting to absolutely die as well and numbed everything and felt dead inside. I’m so proud of you and everyone who has been able to come out of this mind set. I know how hard it is especially being so young. You are so amazing and I’m so gla you came out of this. We love you, the tana we will always continue to love .
I love that RUclips is Tana’s outlet. But as a person who has suffered with anxiety and depression for a long time, I absolutely support seeing a therapist or councilor. You don’t have to be broken to seek help. The point of therapy is not always to put the pieces together. But to have someone to talk to who can listen and help improve your thoughts.
knowing that jordan is one of the closest people to tana, seeing her yell at him/ be rude to him honestly makes a lot of sense. i’ve been in that place and it’s always the people closest to you that get the worst of it. i’ve said things to my family that i just wish to god i could take back because internally i was facing so much turmoil and i had to put on this face at school and with my friends and it’s so exhausting that when you’re with those people you’re closest to the worst side of you comes out. being in that dark of a place is the worst thing to ever happen to me and coming out of it i realized the only person that could help me was myself and i had to take responsibility for the ways i’d hurt those i love when i was hurting. i really really felt you on this one. i’ve been watching since the dirty ass makeup door, bleach AND TONE. and i’ve seen how much you’ve been doing to help people on twitter the last week. this video reminded me why i love u. xx
addison paystrup You are the worst to the people who love you the most because you know they’re still gonna be there after. Like I’m privileged and blessed to have parents who love me unconditionally and I have said the NASTIEST, most HORRENDOUS shit to them that is so embarrassing to me now that I can’t even think about it but it’s because I knew they’d still be there.
Damn didn’t realize how long ago bleach and tone was lol I feel like the fans that have been watching Tana for this long have seen the toxic people come into her life and thought man those don’t look like the best people to surround yourself with but supported her through it all we love you Tana :)
Maggie Karabel & that my dear is what we call a GLOW UP ✨
addison paystrup I agree with this definitely... a few days ago over FaceTime I yelled at my boyfriend and was just mean to him, and I did it bc I was hurting and I was really sensitive and we kept having so many miscommunications that night, and I felt so bad. We immediately made up but I still feel guilty now, and I wish I could take it back and just listened to him instead of quite literally, picking random arguments with him that weren’t necessary. Him and I have luckily gone through a lot together and we never leave a conversation or anything without finding a way to make up and talk things out
thats so true, I do that too which makes me hate myself even more... like when something bothers me why do I yell at my boyfriend or my mom days later instead of telling the person who actually made me angry...
Jordan with the basketball is like a kid waiting for their mom to get off the phone
This is the longest I've heard her talk without snorting or coughing. So fckn proud of u!! Love this Healthy Ass Tana🖤🖤🖤
when u said u didn’t wanna just “exist” anymore u wanted to actually “live” that is now my biggest inspiration bescides u getting your health together i love u mom💗💗😪🥰
I admire that even though MTV might not like her saying this, she cares about us more to be able to be so honest. We love you Tana!
Shayla Hickman or she cares about her reputation but okay
user420 youtube has never been about reputation for her. Tana has been her most authentic self since day 1. you obviously aren’t a fan of hers and haven’t seen a lot of her videos. 🤦♀️ just leave.
I feel like it is so obvious that she has turned her life around and picked herself up and it makes me so happy
Watching tana open up about her childhood trauma has really helped me get through my own. I’ve been watching her since I was 14 (I’m 18 now) and I was going through some really shitty shit but seeing her talk about going through a lot of the same things I was really taught me how to accept the past and try to build something better for myself. Thanks sis🖤
The flashback thing hurt me.
I can't wear red lipstick because when I put it on I get a flashback to when my mother was stumbling, half dressed, saying she had a date. She was incredibly high and I had to *physically fight her as a ten year old* to get her to not leave the house while my little brother was sleeping in the next room.
We look like twins so when I put red lipstick on I just see her out of her mind expression on my face and it makes me sob. Certain smells will also set me off whether I'm at home or in public or at work.
I relate to this in a weird way
I'm so sorry
My mom has been in and out of my life & on drugs my whole life , she’s currently in jail, i’m sorry for what you went through ❤️
i relate to this.
I may be the only one who doesnt relate but i truly hope you are okay
When??
she is SUCH a good story teller... why i started following her in the first place. tana is 100% the only youtuber I will watch an hour long video for
X3❤️
I literally didn't know Jordan was in his 20's... i thought he was older.
Same
Maru Nation me too. he’s wise beyond his years
I think we all did lol I thought for sure he was in his mid thirties
He's 32 I think xx
Danielle Gabbott he’s 26
She’s so real. It’s 2023 and she’s still one of my favorites
"I wasn't trying to kill myself, I just didn't care if I died" I get that, depression makes you have zero care in the world to the point where life becomes meaningless and feels so exhausting. I hope anyone going through gets the help they need and ends up in a happy place they should be💞
Malia faith this is an EXTREMELY common theme in depression and addiction and SO IMPORTANT
@@ilovemcr6666 it really is!! :)
Childhood trauma has so much affect on a person’s adulthood. Trauma does soo much to a persons brain. It’s really important to process all of this, so you can live a life with more peace and empowerment. I think you should try trauma therapy, it might really help! Good luck xo
“I’m just existing” I know that feeling so well. It’s EXHAUSTING on top of everything else you were going through. Hearing you talking about deciding to change your life brought me to tears. This was a perfect way to address everything because it is so genuine and so crystalline clear that we are seeing YOU. I hate knowing that there are still going to be people who willingly choose to stay closed minded and hateful, but I hope you know how much we love you. So in love with your soul, sweet Tana.
You are a human, living in a broken world. Be kind to yourself. Your journey is your's, and we shouldn't be judging you for it.
She hurts a lot of people in her life though. I get what your saying, but she also needs to improve on herself and grow up.
The Last Melon if you’re gonna be mean, don’t watch
Judging is part a life no matter the person, whether it’s her friends, her fans, or her haters, she’ll need to deal with it.
Sydney O. They weren’t even being mean?
Sydney O. I’m not being mean. It’s important to hold people responsible because Tana has a lot of influence on kids and can cause a lot of harm.
You’re human, I’m sorry you have to explain that more than the rest of us.
It bothers me so much that RUclipsrs have to over-explain everything to people.
Carley Pennecke Im human too but I still need to apologize for the mistakes I’ve done, she just does her mistakes and apologies public
Anne Michelle she apologizes, that’s what’s important
"I wasn't trying to kill myself.. but I didn't care if I died" I felt this to a whole new level. I love you Tana and I'm so happy to see how far you've came and how you are not afraid to speak out that you have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts.
Isn’t it crazy, how depression changes a person in so many ways. It’s such a breath of fresh air when you come out of it. 22- 23 years old were my hardest years! Proud of you babe
You're early twenties truly are the worst years but best learning experiences. She's grown so much in the last few years. So proud :)
I’m 25 and 22-24 were the absolute worst but it helped me grow and process things and people differently.
Have you seen her new show? She hasn't changed at all
Lord Autismo did you even watch this video
As someone with a horrible home life and my personal struggles with addiction and mental health, I am so proud of you. I’m not at the same point you are yet but, you give me hope. Much love to you Tana ♥️
Yayay you go queeeeeeeeeennnnnnn
Can we talk about how healthy and glowing she looks when she’s taking from her heart she looks amazing we love you we’re here for you always
she DOES look amazing
Yess
It’s called makeup
Y’all literally let her get away w anything lmao
Meada makeup is used to enhance your face therefore she is already pretty
why is no one talking about tanas unearthly glow here. toxic people, we don’t know them. PERIODT
Yea no
.
Tana, one of the reasons I know you are a good person is the fact that Ashley, Imari, and Trevor have never left your side. If you weren't a real ass person, they would have left years ago. We love you!
Sydney Hilts maybe their faking it too like they just like the fame and the money and the clout
Sydney Hilts maybe their faking it too like they just like the fame and the money and the clout
A C imari has been best friends with tana way before she was anybody
And Isabella, she is never mentioned but she was always there
ruclips.net/video/kERxnTGTFd/видео.html
It's sad looking back at this video that was 7 months ago and seeing her instagram and posts on RUclips now is just her smoking everyday and her health not good and then you watch this video I don't know it's just sad
i was thinking the same
i think i will always be rooting for this girl
"i wasn't trying to kill myself but i didn't care if i died" bro u have no idea how much i feel that and how my eyes filled with tears. i haven't been able to even feel a tear in the last few months...and i started crying cuz i felt it...
im sorry that you are going through a rough time, if you need to talk to someone i can give you my number. im not a therapist but you need to know atleast somone cares about you.
Reagan Cravens you are a good person for offering your number to help someone you don’t know 💜
@@reagancravens8675 ur so sweet omg it's okay tho i don't wanna feel like a burden i'll get through it. thank u so so soo much tho ur super amazing. i appreciate it alot.🖤🖤
user 123 just know you aren’t anyone’s burden. I’m willing to listen, if you ever need ANYTHING. 936 217 9545 i hope you have a good day ☀️☀️
😰
This whole video reminded me of one of my favorite J.K. Rowling quotes: "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." Welcome to the sunny side of life, hunny!
this was really really sad. she should write a book. i feel like tana is meant to be a storyteller and i feel like maybe it could be a great outlet for her pain.
manushree koppella HONESTLY! i fell in love with her personality through her story times
...literally majority of people have issues especially concerning their family and upbringing etc.
I really dont want to sound rude but shes not special and theres millions of other good hearted people out there that would give anything to be where she is and wouldnt do half the fucked up shit she has.
as if she’d ever write her OWN book
manushree koppella this is so true i hope she see’s your comment, i found her channel through her story times, and i’ve stayed for her story times
Yesssss
this and your newest video are giving me hope again & making me want to start taking care of myself and start fresh. thank you tana for sharing such a real look into what hitting rock bottom looks and feels like.
I’m 28 years old, and from experience I can tell you that you will never get what you need from your toxic parents. Broken parents can’t take care of themselves, let alone take care of their children in a healthy way. It’s not an excuse, but it’s something you have to accept so that you can let go of your expectations of them one day being a good parent. Set your boundaries and take care of yourself. You can only control what you do, and how you respond to toxicity
So true. I have one parent that I've never ever gotten emotional (or any) support from my whole life and I continually let myself get let down year after year hoping they finally would. Now in my late 20s I realize it's never going to happen and that's just not the type of parent they are. I'm so lucky and thankful to have one incredible parent who I'd die without and the other one could go years without hearing from me and not even care. It actually helps me be a better parent, knowing I never want my kids to ever feel that way.
I’ve never related and agreed with a comment more. Thank you for this !
Well said!
Well said
“I wanted to die for $8 an hour” is hands down one of the most relatable things I’ve ever heard her say.
honestly this is my favourite look she's ever done, SHES GLOWING DUDE she looks so healthy wow
Jana Aridi shes warm-toned. Her blonde is getting warmer and she’s wearing gold jewelry. Doing things in coordination with your undertone helps immensely with how healthy you look
Think it’s the shorter hair and lack of heavy extensions lifts her look
I’ve always been drawn to Tana, and I know why. She’s honest, humble, etc. this is the Tana I look up to
Madison Bailey the lashes, overly injected lips, and Dior necklace is humble? I think you are confused. No hate; just incorrect on humble.
@@LaceFX you can change yourself and buy yourself nice things and still be humble.
I am not sure Tana is someone to look up to tbh. And i mean that from a place of kindness
i like this tana. she’s glowing. u can look at her she just screams “ik what’s going on”. and she just looks so happy❤️
Taylor MaKlaye Hunt Agreed, she’s looking a lot healthier lately too💜
She's literally talking about how she wants to die bruh lmao
she's literally saying she wants to die. lmao
Katy May but she’s also talking about how happy she is now and how she’s working on herself
Tana's friends popping in feels like when my family comes in my room during my online classes
Jenna Jones feels like when I get caught taking a selfie 😂😂
Yes this is an apology but lemme just quick say she’s literally never looked prettier in her life omg
Emily Mazza legit! she’s beautiful
YES HER HAIR HER SKIN shes glowing omg
I know right ! she’s always been pretty but this is such a good look especially the hair
Emily Mazza I will say a good shadow root would be so Bomb on her though.
A goddess so proud of her
I love this side of tana, I also like to see her have fun and act “crazy” but I wish that we saw more of her like this