thanks for being real. so many youtubers seems to have a unrealistically nice life. and it's really great to learn from people's first hand experience of a person.
wow when you talked about your brother and the list, the life purpose, and with very strong memories of a friend's 14yr old friend who was also suddenly killed (she was in a car crash), I understand a little bit of how it is. I remember that I was like "heck. all this material stuff is so without meaning. it doesn't matter" and I am not a very material person. But it was something that put into perspective death and the things I do. life and death is a heavy matter.
I find it so beautiful that when your brother passed away you didn't think about yourself and your suffering; you felt a purpose to be there for your parents.
right before watching this video, I had gotten into a major fight with my older brother and had many hateful thoughts... but this is really eye-opening and I feel like the timing couldnt have been better so thank you
I'm watching this right now and who would've thought that your brother and his story through your testaments will inspire lost people like me. Thank you very much to the both of you. ❤
Hi Rowena, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.. Thank you for being honest and sharing. On one side of the spectrum, it's refreshing to see and hear your level of honesty in this day and age of social media, and on the other side of the spectrum, it's a reality check that people need. People aren't conscious of their own mortality or of their loved ones.. That is until something bad happens, then it hits them like a bag of bricks.. It can be life changing in a good way, or a bad way.. I'm glad it helped to create a more purposeful, meaningful life for you, making you think about and question everything. For me, it was cigarettes and pot.. I'm sooo glad I was allergic to alcohol..!! haha. That was after losing both my grandmothers within two years when I was 12 and 14 years old.. I basically saw both of them die.. One of them was also hit by a car and killed and had the most horrific injuries I have ever heard of.. So I can definitely relate to that. Those were the two people who actually cared about me in my life, besides one out of the many cousins I had, and everything went downhill from there. It's been a long journey of trying to ignore thing, sweeping them aside, self medicating for a LONG time, to having those unresolved feelings and problems come back to haunt me again as an adult, then going through anxiety and depression as well.. (going to watch your video on that next..!!), and slowly working my way through that without any friends, family, doctors, medications, or much money..
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to lose somebody so close to you. I'm reflecting on what you say and one thing that kind of makes me pause and wonder whether I agree is your comparison of what people would have thought and said about you if you had died versus what they thought and said about your brother. I imagine that if I died today, as somebody who doesn't have a lot of close friends and whose family doesn't 100% "get" them, I think that many would come to wrong conclusions about me and have negative things to say that I don't feel are correct. I quite like myself, but I know that, due to my severe social anxiety, I tend to give people the wrong idea about me. So modeling an arc of self improvement fearing what other people might say if I died doesn't feel naturally to me, because I feel that most people don't know me. Not that everybody hates me, I think that quite a lot of people would have nice things to say, but I feel that only the opinion of people who truly know your heart actually matter. But maybe that's just me and I totally get what you were trying to say! Best wishes xx
i'm years late to this video but i just wanted to say that your story is really inspiring to me because i went down an incredibly similar path to yours. i really appreciate how honest this is and it reminded me of how i want to change and grow, so thank you :)
I just found your channel yesterday so I watched ur story part one and left the rest on watch later and I just got here and when you mentioned that your brother died out of nowhere I was so shocked.. I didn't expect this omg. I love your channel btw
Rowena, Ok. I just got further into the video and my suspicions about how intelligent are have been confirmed, ha. You've gone through a lot emotionally and learned a lot, so you're way ahead in many ways. xo, SS
thanks for being real. so many youtubers seems to have a unrealistically nice life. and it's really great to learn from people's first hand experience of a person.
wow when you talked about your brother and the list, the life purpose, and with very strong memories of a friend's 14yr old friend who was also suddenly killed (she was in a car crash), I understand a little bit of how it is. I remember that I was like "heck. all this material stuff is so without meaning. it doesn't matter" and I am not a very material person. But it was something that put into perspective death and the things I do. life and death is a heavy matter.
I agree can’t stand other youtubers in her genre
I find it so beautiful that when your brother passed away you didn't think about yourself and your suffering; you felt a purpose to be there for your parents.
right before watching this video, I had gotten into a major fight with my older brother and had many hateful thoughts... but this is really eye-opening and I feel like the timing couldnt have been better so thank you
I'm watching this right now and who would've thought that your brother and his story through your testaments will inspire lost people like me. Thank you very much to the both of you. ❤
Hi Rowena, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.. Thank you for being honest and sharing. On one side of the spectrum, it's refreshing to see and hear your level of honesty in this day and age of social media, and on the other side of the spectrum, it's a reality check that people need. People aren't conscious of their own mortality or of their loved ones.. That is until something bad happens, then it hits them like a bag of bricks.. It can be life changing in a good way, or a bad way.. I'm glad it helped to create a more purposeful, meaningful life for you, making you think about and question everything.
For me, it was cigarettes and pot.. I'm sooo glad I was allergic to alcohol..!! haha. That was after losing both my grandmothers within two years when I was 12 and 14 years old.. I basically saw both of them die.. One of them was also hit by a car and killed and had the most horrific injuries I have ever heard of.. So I can definitely relate to that. Those were the two people who actually cared about me in my life, besides one out of the many cousins I had, and everything went downhill from there.
It's been a long journey of trying to ignore thing, sweeping them aside, self medicating for a LONG time, to having those unresolved feelings and problems come back to haunt me again as an adult, then going through anxiety and depression as well.. (going to watch your video on that next..!!), and slowly working my way through that without any friends, family, doctors, medications, or much money..
You are a strong, beautiful and inspiring soul. The world is a better place with you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to lose somebody so close to you.
I'm reflecting on what you say and one thing that kind of makes me pause and wonder whether I agree is your comparison of what people would have thought and said about you if you had died versus what they thought and said about your brother. I imagine that if I died today, as somebody who doesn't have a lot of close friends and whose family doesn't 100% "get" them, I think that many would come to wrong conclusions about me and have negative things to say that I don't feel are correct. I quite like myself, but I know that, due to my severe social anxiety, I tend to give people the wrong idea about me. So modeling an arc of self improvement fearing what other people might say if I died doesn't feel naturally to me, because I feel that most people don't know me. Not that everybody hates me, I think that quite a lot of people would have nice things to say, but I feel that only the opinion of people who truly know your heart actually matter. But maybe that's just me and I totally get what you were trying to say! Best wishes xx
i'm years late to this video but i just wanted to say that your story is really inspiring to me because i went down an incredibly similar path to yours. i really appreciate how honest this is and it reminded me of how i want to change and grow, so thank you :)
I just found your channel yesterday so I watched ur story part one and left the rest on watch later and I just got here and when you mentioned that your brother died out of nowhere I was so shocked.. I didn't expect this omg. I love your channel btw
xue ying
Rowena
I am so in love with your content
Just found your channel and I’m so glad I did! You’re so brave and honest, and inspiring. Thanks for being you
You impress me as being extremely intelligent and creative. You're such a lovely woman. xox, SS
Rowena, Ok. I just got further into the video and my suspicions about how intelligent are have been confirmed, ha. You've gone through a lot emotionally and learned a lot, so you're way ahead in many ways. xo, SS
I'm glad this video started with you drinking water. It reminded me to do so!
You are an inspiration! I wish I could have you as a friend. Your parents must be so proud of you xXx
I know that u don't know me, but I just wanted to say: I'm proud of you & Ur my role model :D
beautiful story!!! love your channel!!! :-)
I’m a Deltasig too! I’m so glad I found your channel. DSP helped me find my purpose in college.
UC RIVERSIDE + USC = amazing
yey your back :D
2:21 I got a heart attack there lol
Didn't realize you are a fellow Trojan. Fight on!
daily videos?
Fuuuuuu ck im so depressed.... So nervous... So. Hopeless....