so im gonna say as much as this is a touchy subject the realism in this stitch with me is amazing and has resonated with me as someone who struggles to reach out more often then not and has very few friends to talk too thank you for sharing your struggles and im so glad to hear your slowly getting better you and jen and suki have been the 3 i ve watched religiously through the last 4 years since I started stitching all of you have started me on a full coverage kick lol its pretty much all I stitch but I want to say thank you for being vunerable and real about your struggles and your health ♥♥
Thank you for sharing such deep emotional and mental health issues. It is a very personal journey for each of us. When you mentioned about the hair loss it struck such a cord in me as well. I have had such a hair loss like that and my hair still has not recovered from it. It happened in 2020 after recovering from Covid. It’s just hair but boy oh boy; it is for me such a part of me that I feel like I lost a limb. I know it’s not but it hit me hard, still does, even as I write this. Anyway I hope you’re taking care of yourself, stitching away and living your best life. I see ya and hear ya. ❤
I just lost my 29 year old son. The grief is consuming me.I am feeling some of the same things that you have experienced. I have my first counseling appointment today. I really admire you and your willingness to share. I am thankful for people that can be honest and real about even the most personal experiences. I find those people to be the most honest, geniune, loyal and caring friends. I appreciate you.
Thank you for sharing your own story a bit. My condolences to you. I hope that things improve for you. I speak from experience that when I say I hope your grief gets better, i don;t mean that you will miss him any less but that you can miss him without the ache and the consuming.
Still early in the video, but just wanted to post this. I'm a cluster C too, so I feel you on the diagnoses. I hope they didnt diagnose with a single questionaire. These are massive disorders that require specialized treatment. They are all encompancing. Normally it takes weeks of sessions and several tests for a reliable result. However!! With the right therapy, they can be managed very well, especially the cluster C's. They never go away, but they can take a backseat; you can live with it. This is my personal experience, but after my diagnoses of the personality disorder, my therapy switched from sessions for depression to for the disorder. In doing so, my symphoms lessened, my depression disappeared, my anxiety reduced by about 80%, stopping it from being debilitating. I got a new job, started new ventures... I got my life back. The right diagnoses makes all the difference. If it doesn't feel right, question it. If something's missing, continue to dig. A disorder is a part of you, but it doesnt define you. And it can be managed, overcome. I am living proof. So dont give up. ❤
Thanking for doing this video. Mental illness can be such a solitary thing. Having suffered both anxiety and depression for many years I can relate to your struggles and admire you so much for the strength you show. We all matter ❤
I lost my husband a year and a half ago and now I am alone alone. I have family that when they have time come by to see me I don’t know what you’re going through but I love the fact that you’re open about it and I just want to let you know I am a good listener, so I don’t care what time if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning if it’s 2 o’clock if it’s 11 o’clock if you want someone just to talk to to laugh with I’m here. I love your projects. You work on some very big ones that are beautiful and don’t let anyoneever make you feel that you’re not a human you’re funny. I know you love your husband and your sons and your father-in-law. I don’t want you to take offense, but I will be praying for you.
I appreciated sitting down and hear what you've been going through; I am pleased to hear that things are getting better for you; I hope your bravery and strength keeping paying off and you keep finding your peace and power. I am still on my journey for the right professionals for therapy and a diagnoses and found listening to your story very encouraging. Also, thanks for the reminder to check on our quiet people; I reached out to my quiet brother and he seemed to really enjoy getting to talk through stuff and sounded lighter after chatting. Thanks for sharing and Happy Stitching!
So we have never met or exchanged messages, not great with communicating myself, but I have been watching your videos for a while and what you choose to share is an honour to those listening and provides a safe space at times for others who are not ready to speak but hearing it from someone lets them know they are not alone. I want to let you know I see you, I have been in that space of thinking would it not be easier for everyone if I am not here any more. The darkness is real and it is deep and it can be the strangest things that motivate you to move past it, like if I am gone I will never get to see the end of this show that I love or what new patterns are going to come out. All this meandering just to say I am glad you are learning about yourself, the boundaries you wish to set with others and know that while the fight and struggle is individual and that the depths of your experience can seem impossible to put to words, that I wish you all the best in the world. May the stitches and projects you do and the people in your life help build strength and support around you and shield you. May the emotions flow through you crafts to help you process and move through and forward towards all you would like to do next.
Aww Ailarra I’m so sad you are going through this but you are not alone as someone who is going through this for a complete separate set of reasons I’m here anytime you wish to reach out or speak night or day
I just feel like you need a big hug. Not to tell you everything is great but just to say we are here. I am so sorry you’re losing your hair too on top of everything. I understand how mentally messed up that makes you. It’s so hard and I hate my hair now. It’s so stringy and when it’s drying I look like I’ve been electrocuted.
You are not alone, Ailarra. Trying to live a life while dealing with chronic mental and physical health struggles wears the best of us down. That's when the negative self talk and those passive thoughts become so loud and distressing. You are doing the best you can. Talking about it and actually reaching out is the hardest part. I hope you can find those pockets of joy where you can, and know that it will get better.
I watched this in pieces and had so many things I wanted to say but what I will say is thank you for sharing. Powerful. I know from working with people that it is hard for them to ask for help because they don’t want to disrupt others lives or be seen as needy. I also know that asking for help puts people in a. Very vulnerable place and if they have been reflected, especially by people who should be there for them, putting yourself in a place that may cause another rejection is so so hard. Also on a lighter note, holy cow you stitch fast.
I’m so proud of you!!! Not just for being so open, which in itself is brave enough, but also for how you got yourself through it! I know all about the not wanting to bother other people with your struggles. And I recognized so much more in your story. It’s definitely helpful and food for thought. So you are a hero. Please remember that when thoughts get dark again. You matter and you’re brave and you are a hero and so much more!!!! You’re working so hard to deal with stuff you are dealt with, and I know how hard that is and to be fair, I’m kind of hesitant to go that route again. Cause it involves getting help, finding the right help etc. And you did that!
It’s really hard to be dumped by people you thought were your friends. The operative word is thought. True friends work through grievances. True friends are loyal. True friends love you. True friends are rare. It happened to me 4 years ago and it still hurts. It probably always will, but I now understand our relationship was not based on friendship. You’re a brave soul to share so much with our community. Hopefully sharing this with us will help you heal.
Hi Ailarra. As I said on IG I really "enjoyed" it in the sense of being able to relate to you, cause I've had my own fair share of struggles wmand fights with the black dog. I have a therapist and stuff so don't worry about that. As for your hair, I'm happy its returning now, that mustve been a terrible experience. Ive always been a little jealous of your hair cause I have really thin hair and I can't do anything about that. And to hear you lost a bunch of it made my heart hurt 😢 but glad its growing back now 💜 but you and your hair were and always be beautiful 💜 not to mention your personality 🥰 As for what happened at the stitching retreat I'm so sorry to hear. I understand the "pieces hold a million memories" cause I have that too. I wasn't there so I don't know what really happened, but if they treated you like sh*t for standing up for yourself, they're not really worth your friendship. As for the AI part I understand where you coming from. I made up my mind a few months ago that for now at least I won't be buying AI charts either. I also hope Suki will get her stuff back quickly, especially her treasure hunt bookshelf if anything 😢 You are a beautiful soul Ailarra and the only thing I wish for you is that you find peace of mind back. And the fact that you're trying so hard to get better proves to le you're a wonderful mom, partner and friend. can't wait to see other videos of you 💜
Thank you for being willing to speak about your mental health. As someone who has been there before dealing with that ‘black dog’ but never able to speak about it or name it, it is nice to know you are not alone. Keep moving forward and using those tools
Thank you for sharing all this. I wished more people talked about there problems. I've been going through a lot in the last year and hearing someone else talk about things that i am also going through helped me. I understand a mom telling you that your a bad mom, i no longer talk to my mom part of it because of her saying stuff like that to me and other reasons. I know that you hear this a lot but if you need someone to talk to i would love for you to message me.
Ailarra, thank you for sharing. There will always be someone out there that struggles and would benefit from hearing they aren’t alone. Continue being genuine to yourself and achieve self happiness. I have been a long time watcher of your channel but rarely comment, but I felt like I needed to today. Everyone needs encouragement to keep pushing through. You have my support and if you ever need a listening ear feel free to reach out. Congrats on your shop!! 🎉
You matter! I am so sorry for what you been going through. Life is hard when you have depressions. I struggle daily trying to stay positive. Just hang in there. Take care and happy stitching!
I see you too. You have been through so much and I'm very appreciative that you shared this. Your description of feelings and intrusive thoughts are so much like the ones I had and sometimes still have. It is so debilitating to first think it and them rethink and the feelings that make you go numb and the rest.. whishing you the absolute best and I hope you will come out on top of it all!❤
Thank you for sharing my friend. I have depression and anxiety and I DONT talk about it much. It’s refreshing to hear you speak about your experience. 💗
Thank you for sharing and keeping me company while my husband is driving to my cross stitch retreat. You are an amazing person for help a fellow stitcher while dealing with everything that you are dealing with. I enjoy all of your videos.
Thank you for sharing and as a multi mental health sufferer, I see you too. The black dog has been rearing its ugly head, but I have a good therapist who is helping. I started seeing her after losing my sister to suicide. I'm glad you are improving and totally appreciate your honesty. Some of what you said has resonated with me and given me the words I needed to give to my therapist, so a big thank you. Take care and happy stitching 🪡🧵🌺💜
I am so happy I got to meet you. You are a warm, wonderful person. I still use your wonderful project bags! I haven’t watched Flosstube in forever and am so far behind. I can’t imagine anyone ever having a disagreement with you. Take care and happy stitching. Oh and you are too hard on yourself. I follow Suki too, but am so far behind!
Hi Ailarra! Oh dear friend, I didn't realize all the health issues you went through following your gallbladder removal. Such horrible after effects. I can relate so much to being told by your own mother that you not fit to be a mother and should never have had a child. Mine did it when I was going through a brutal custody battle. It is a wonder that my daughter and I speak to this day let alone that she chose to come live with me at about age 15 after having been with her dad for 3 years. I have been really struggling with more of my depression rather than the anxiety part since about the end of May. Seems like it has been one thing after the other. My wedding date with the second ex really bothered me this year for some reason. Was finally starting to feel a bit more like myself when the apartment next door had a fire resulting in a lot of water damage to my rooms. About a month after that my only cat died and I think a lot of it had to do with the fire between the stress and both of her cat beds, which were in my closet, were soaked with contaminated fire fighting water. The scum from that was disgusting and I am sure I will find more of it to clean up when the movers come in 3 days to move us out. On top of all that, my mom has been not doing so well physically and definitely is showing signs of dementia of some kind and, as the only child who is left here on Earth, that responsibility is falling directly on me. She and I have always had our battles and I can foresee many more coming up in the near future. There have been many times that the only thing that keeps me holding on is Walter since the whole reason to move to this antiquated state was because of him and to be part of his life, not just a video grandma. I am so sorry for all that is happening to Suki and the moving company. I wonder if an attorney letter would help move the situation. Hopefully she can find a free one. We very easily could have had the same thing happen to us since they literally cost us over $5000 and did not move us, but we rented a U-Haul, did our own packing which we were not supposed to have to do, paid friends and family to help out since our cats were already in Texas before we arrived by 3 days due to having to stay to pack instead of being packed and moved by the company due to their lies. You know I rarely sleep still so you can reach out to me. I am so happy that you are finally feeling better. I am glad that you stood up for yourself even if it was hurtful at the time. I am glad that you have found a therapist who is helping, that is a big victory right there. Take care, my friend. Love and hugs from far away in Texas. Dawn
Been following you for quite a while. I’m sorry things have been hard. Just bought one of your bags-normally I just use Ziplocs or super-cheap zipper bags, but yours were lovely. I’m glad you are doing what you need to do to care for yourself.
Thank you for sharing this!!! I too have been going through a lot of stuff recently and finally , i'm finding my way out of it. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. Everyone's voice is important. I love. your videos it is like sitting with a friend and chatting. I will send you thoughts and prayers.❤❤❤❤
🧡🧡 so much of what you said resonated within me as you were talking. The feelings, the not wanting to bother anyone with it, the thoughts of inadequacy, all of it. I shed tears for both of us and what we have gone through fighting the black dog. Love you long time 🐎🧵💛
Sending so much love! Thank you for sharing because I relate to some of your symptoms and am going to research and reach out to my Dr. Without you, I would not know the specifics other than my generalized diagnoses and that there is hope. Thanks so much and I’m glad you are feeling better.
Thanks for sharing it is appreciated. You did an excellent job of explaining it will help people. You have had really sucky year, so sorry. I despise people not taking responsibility for their actions especially with the line "It was a joke." No it wasn't and everyone knows it. I keep a comic Aunty Acid on my desk "Be Kind Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about." It keeps me aware to do the extra things even when I don't know why I am doing it. Never thought about AI patterns being controversial. I just vote with my purchases. I personally choose not to buy them but hold nothing against those who do. Patterns should be clearly marked as AI for that reason so the buyer will decide in the end. Have a GREAT day! 😁
Thank you, sharing your struggle helps other people and it helps to share. As hard as it is to try and explain the feels, You do an excellent job. People don't understand unless they've been there. Love, strength and healing to everyone that needs it. We are here to support you, and you can talk as long as you want and about anything you want. You are loved and wanted by us through your journey of healing and beyond. ❤ We are here for Suki also, watching for info update.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m sure it was a help be it big or small in some way to anyone who watched…including myself. You are very brave to do this. I personally found it very relaxing listening to your needle go in and out of the fabric also….crazy I know. My prayers are with you.❤ Hope we see you again soon.
I'd come across you from Jen and YT suggested your WIP parade. I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, but I'm glad you've made it through. I remember an ex kept telling me to stand up for myself, well until it came to standing up to him. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. It's lovely that you're planning on helping your friend Suki.
❤️❤️ we’ve talked about this numerous times as you said but this was a great video. It was very brave of you to share what you went through, and I hope anyone who listens to it and is struggling this way will take it to heart ❤love you friend
Thank you for sharing. I think mental illness should be talked about more. I have Major Depressive Disorder and there are days. I also enjoyed stitching with you.
I have had anxiety since BC, but I think I’ve had Major Depression and Anxiety my whole Life. I wish you well. I take Clonopin for the Anxiety and friends and family work with me with my depression and after so many years I have learned to find ways of coming out of it. My friends understand me better than my family. I have restlessness leg syndrome that came after my second pregnancy which I have anxiety over and chemo side effects that caused eating anxiety . There are so many problems that manifests from others. Live your best life. You WILL figure this out. Reach out to us ❤Peggy (As we age allergies rear its ugly head. I can take no pain relief at all. It’s hard, but we are so much stronger than we think we are. You will find that and you will learn skills to handle it. I was intubated for my hip replacement, had blood transfusions, I’m still fighting things. I am just now after 4 surgeries starting to come back. I take Xilifan for brain fog. Just keep fighting, never give in. I truly believe God is watching over you!
Thank you for doing this video. My mom has a mental illness declared when I was five, I never thought she was a bad mother, just that she is ill. Thank you for suggesting we should ask if the person is ok. I always thought that was intrusive, but now I see your point.
Oh huge huge hugs. Holy.moly. My inlaws just moved in with us this summer. Not like in in with us but in on the property. My mil has bi polar one and since june 1 has been slowing going manic and into full psychosis. It blow me laway how humans can survive on minited of sleep a day. One forcible commitment by the cops, released. Spiraĺed again, commited again. Out now and trying to get the drugs figured out. Its been A LOT. mental illness is so friggin legit. I find it so refreshing that we live in a time where ppl can talk aboit this so much more then the past and 90% of people cant relate or are so compassionate Massive massive hugs again❤❤❤❤
It's so difficult to explain to people who've never experienced passive ideation like that just how bone deep that feeling goes. It isn't quite apathy but it's very close cousins and it seeps into everything. It's also really hard to explain how ever-present that negativity is once its had a chance to settle in, it's so insidious and subtle sometimes in how it convinces us that we're only going to bother or annoy people even if part of us knows it isn't true. It's also hard to explain that it's both sad and nice to know you're not alone -- you wouldn't wish that on anyone else but damn at least it isn't just me who's had this experience, who has felt like this, someone else gets it and won't look at me like I should be immediately institutionalized. I'm so sorry so much of your stitching has been affected by things but at least there are still outlets and parts of the hobby that you're able to do, and you really seem to be pushing hard for positivity and those moments of light, and that means a lot.
Dec of 2020, I was depressed for a bit. A few times fleeting moments of SI came into play. One night I pulled into my driveway, tears, and said...I could just do it in the shed. It's high enough. Tears. Thought about my furbabies. My sister and nephews who lived in another state, etc. I knew what I needed...antidepressants for 1. Of course, you can not get into anywhere for an appointment for months on end. Thankfully, I work in healthcare, and the next night, I voiced what I literally thought to a PA friend, who wrote me a script. The thing that lead up to it....I'm sure was the stress, sadness, etc of the effects of covid on the community. Thankfully, we didn't see a lot for a while because our state was one of the first that limited openings, outings, etc. So our area didn't see the detrimental situations like other parts, but it was still stressful, sad, overworked, etc. Not to mention, in the late summer, I also had an outs with a best friend that I thought we would always be friends. I will always believe her new husband put the wedge there (as she had made weird, off the cuff comments). But it is what it is. People come into our lives for a reason and leave for a reason. Sending you and all good thoughts if you are or were struggling. Reach out to people.
I thought you were going to say “I think the world would do really well to have more people in therapy…” and I was like yasss girl. But then that’s not what you said, but I’m sticking with it 😅
New subscriber I’m sending you some much needed hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 and why not pay into a PayPal account for her as no charges there please let me know as I would like to contribute😍😍👍👍
I'm completely talking for the community right now but we care about you and certainly are ready to support you in whatever way we can. ❤❤
so im gonna say as much as this is a touchy subject the realism in this stitch with me is amazing and has resonated with me as someone who struggles to reach out more often then not and has very few friends to talk too thank you for sharing your struggles and im so glad to hear your slowly getting better you and jen and suki have been the 3 i ve watched religiously through the last 4 years since I started stitching all of you have started me on a full coverage kick lol its pretty much all I stitch but I want to say thank you for being vunerable and real about your struggles and your health ♥♥
Thank you for sharing such deep emotional and mental health issues. It is a very personal journey for each of us. When you mentioned about the hair loss it struck such a cord in me as well. I have had such a hair loss like that and my hair still has not recovered from it. It happened in 2020 after recovering from Covid. It’s just hair but boy oh boy; it is for me such a part of me that I feel like I lost a limb. I know it’s not but it hit me hard, still does, even as I write this.
Anyway I hope you’re taking care of yourself, stitching away and living your best life. I see ya and hear ya. ❤
I just lost my 29 year old son. The grief is consuming me.I am feeling some of the same things that you have experienced. I have my first counseling appointment today. I really admire you and your willingness to share. I am thankful for people that can be honest and real about even the most personal experiences. I find those people to be the most honest, geniune, loyal and caring friends. I appreciate you.
Thank you for sharing your own story a bit. My condolences to you. I hope that things improve for you. I speak from experience that when I say I hope your grief gets better, i don;t mean that you will miss him any less but that you can miss him without the ache and the consuming.
I am so very sorry for your loss
Still early in the video, but just wanted to post this.
I'm a cluster C too, so I feel you on the diagnoses.
I hope they didnt diagnose with a single questionaire. These are massive disorders that require specialized treatment. They are all encompancing. Normally it takes weeks of sessions and several tests for a reliable result.
However!! With the right therapy, they can be managed very well, especially the cluster C's. They never go away, but they can take a backseat; you can live with it.
This is my personal experience, but after my diagnoses of the personality disorder, my therapy switched from sessions for depression to for the disorder. In doing so, my symphoms lessened, my depression disappeared, my anxiety reduced by about 80%, stopping it from being debilitating. I got a new job, started new ventures... I got my life back.
The right diagnoses makes all the difference. If it doesn't feel right, question it. If something's missing, continue to dig.
A disorder is a part of you, but it doesnt define you. And it can be managed, overcome. I am living proof. So dont give up. ❤
Thanking for doing this video. Mental illness can be such a solitary thing. Having suffered both anxiety and depression for many years I can relate to your struggles and admire you so much for the strength you show. We all matter ❤
Hope you feel better for sharing and explaining. Love watching your channel.
❤💕💞☀️🫂
I lost my husband a year and a half ago and now I am alone alone. I have family that when they have time come by to see me I don’t know what you’re going through but I love the fact that you’re open about it and I just want to let you know I am a good listener, so I don’t care what time if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning if it’s 2 o’clock if it’s 11 o’clock if you want someone just to talk to to laugh with I’m here. I love your projects. You work on some very big ones that are beautiful and don’t let anyoneever make you feel that you’re not a human you’re funny. I know you love your husband and your sons and your father-in-law. I don’t want you to take offense, but I will be praying for you.
I appreciated sitting down and hear what you've been going through; I am pleased to hear that things are getting better for you; I hope your bravery and strength keeping paying off and you keep finding your peace and power.
I am still on my journey for the right professionals for therapy and a diagnoses and found listening to your story very encouraging. Also, thanks for the reminder to check on our quiet people; I reached out to my quiet brother and he seemed to really enjoy getting to talk through stuff and sounded lighter after chatting.
Thanks for sharing and Happy Stitching!
So we have never met or exchanged messages, not great with communicating myself, but I have been watching your videos for a while and what you choose to share is an honour to those listening and provides a safe space at times for others who are not ready to speak but hearing it from someone lets them know they are not alone. I want to let you know I see you, I have been in that space of thinking would it not be easier for everyone if I am not here any more. The darkness is real and it is deep and it can be the strangest things that motivate you to move past it, like if I am gone I will never get to see the end of this show that I love or what new patterns are going to come out. All this meandering just to say I am glad you are learning about yourself, the boundaries you wish to set with others and know that while the fight and struggle is individual and that the depths of your experience can seem impossible to put to words, that I wish you all the best in the world. May the stitches and projects you do and the people in your life help build strength and support around you and shield you. May the emotions flow through you crafts to help you process and move through and forward towards all you would like to do next.
Aww Ailarra I’m so sad you are going through this but you are not alone as someone who is going through this for a complete separate set of reasons I’m here anytime you wish to reach out or speak night or day
I just feel like you need a big hug. Not to tell you everything is great but just to say we are here.
I am so sorry you’re losing your hair too on top of everything. I understand how mentally messed up that makes you. It’s so hard and I hate my hair now. It’s so stringy and when it’s drying I look like I’ve been electrocuted.
You are not alone, Ailarra. Trying to live a life while dealing with chronic mental and physical health struggles wears the best of us down. That's when the negative self talk and those passive thoughts become so loud and distressing. You are doing the best you can. Talking about it and actually reaching out is the hardest part. I hope you can find those pockets of joy where you can, and know that it will get better.
I watched this in pieces and had so many things I wanted to say but what I will say is thank you for sharing. Powerful. I know from working with people that it is hard for them to ask for help because they don’t want to disrupt others lives or be seen as needy. I also know that asking for help puts people in a. Very vulnerable place and if they have been reflected, especially by people who should be there for them, putting yourself in a place that may cause another rejection is so so hard.
Also on a lighter note, holy cow you stitch fast.
I’m so proud of you!!! Not just for being so open, which in itself is brave enough, but also for how you got yourself through it! I know all about the not wanting to bother other people with your struggles. And I recognized so much more in your story. It’s definitely helpful and food for thought. So you are a hero. Please remember that when thoughts get dark again. You matter and you’re brave and you are a hero and so much more!!!! You’re working so hard to deal with stuff you are dealt with, and I know how hard that is and to be fair, I’m kind of hesitant to go that route again. Cause it involves getting help, finding the right help etc. And you did that!
It’s really hard to be dumped by people you thought were your friends. The operative word is thought.
True friends work through grievances. True friends are loyal. True friends love you. True friends are rare.
It happened to me 4 years ago and it still hurts. It probably always will, but I now understand our relationship was not based on friendship.
You’re a brave soul to share so much with our community. Hopefully sharing this with us will help you heal.
Hi Ailarra. As I said on IG I really "enjoyed" it in the sense of being able to relate to you, cause I've had my own fair share of struggles wmand fights with the black dog. I have a therapist and stuff so don't worry about that.
As for your hair, I'm happy its returning now, that mustve been a terrible experience. Ive always been a little jealous of your hair cause I have really thin hair and I can't do anything about that. And to hear you lost a bunch of it made my heart hurt 😢 but glad its growing back now 💜 but you and your hair were and always be beautiful 💜 not to mention your personality 🥰
As for what happened at the stitching retreat I'm so sorry to hear. I understand the "pieces hold a million memories" cause I have that too. I wasn't there so I don't know what really happened, but if they treated you like sh*t for standing up for yourself, they're not really worth your friendship.
As for the AI part I understand where you coming from. I made up my mind a few months ago that for now at least I won't be buying AI charts either.
I also hope Suki will get her stuff back quickly, especially her treasure hunt bookshelf if anything 😢
You are a beautiful soul Ailarra and the only thing I wish for you is that you find peace of mind back. And the fact that you're trying so hard to get better proves to le you're a wonderful mom, partner and friend.
can't wait to see other videos of you 💜
Thank you for being willing to speak about your mental health. As someone who has been there before dealing with that ‘black dog’ but never able to speak about it or name it, it is nice to know you are not alone. Keep moving forward and using those tools
Thank you for sharing all this. I wished more people talked about there problems. I've been going through a lot in the last year and hearing someone else talk about things that i am also going through helped me. I understand a mom telling you that your a bad mom, i no longer talk to my mom part of it because of her saying stuff like that to me and other reasons. I know that you hear this a lot but if you need someone to talk to i would love for you to message me.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. You have a beautiful mind!
Ailarra, thank you for sharing. There will always be someone out there that struggles and would benefit from hearing they aren’t alone. Continue being genuine to yourself and achieve self happiness. I have been a long time watcher of your channel but rarely comment, but I felt like I needed to today. Everyone needs encouragement to keep pushing through. You have my support and if you ever need a listening ear feel free to reach out. Congrats on your shop!! 🎉
You matter! I am so sorry for what you been going through. Life is hard when you have depressions. I struggle daily trying to stay positive. Just hang in there. Take care and happy stitching!
I see you too. You have been through so much and I'm very appreciative that you shared this. Your description of feelings and intrusive thoughts are so much like the ones I had and sometimes still have. It is so debilitating to first think it and them rethink and the feelings that make you go numb and the rest.. whishing you the absolute best and I hope you will come out on top of it all!❤
Thank you for sharing my friend. I have depression and anxiety and I DONT talk about it much. It’s refreshing to hear you speak about your experience. 💗
Thank you for sharing and keeping me company while my husband is driving to my cross stitch retreat. You are an amazing person for help a fellow stitcher while dealing with everything that you are dealing with. I enjoy all of your videos.
Thank you for sharing and as a multi mental health sufferer, I see you too. The black dog has been rearing its ugly head, but I have a good therapist who is helping. I started seeing her after losing my sister to suicide. I'm glad you are improving and totally appreciate your honesty. Some of what you said has resonated with me and given me the words I needed to give to my therapist, so a big thank you. Take care and happy stitching 🪡🧵🌺💜
I am so happy I got to meet you. You are a warm, wonderful person. I still use your wonderful project bags! I haven’t watched Flosstube in forever and am so far behind. I can’t imagine anyone ever having a disagreement with you. Take care and happy stitching.
Oh and you are too hard on yourself. I follow Suki too, but am so far behind!
I’m sorry for all you’ve been going through. Thanks for being so open about everything. I hope that things will continue to get better for you. ❤❤❤
Hi Ailarra! Oh dear friend, I didn't realize all the health issues you went through following your gallbladder removal. Such horrible after effects. I can relate so much to being told by your own mother that you not fit to be a mother and should never have had a child. Mine did it when I was going through a brutal custody battle. It is a wonder that my daughter and I speak to this day let alone that she chose to come live with me at about age 15 after having been with her dad for 3 years. I have been really struggling with more of my depression rather than the anxiety part since about the end of May. Seems like it has been one thing after the other. My wedding date with the second ex really bothered me this year for some reason. Was finally starting to feel a bit more like myself when the apartment next door had a fire resulting in a lot of water damage to my rooms. About a month after that my only cat died and I think a lot of it had to do with the fire between the stress and both of her cat beds, which were in my closet, were soaked with contaminated fire fighting water. The scum from that was disgusting and I am sure I will find more of it to clean up when the movers come in 3 days to move us out. On top of all that, my mom has been not doing so well physically and definitely is showing signs of dementia of some kind and, as the only child who is left here on Earth, that responsibility is falling directly on me. She and I have always had our battles and I can foresee many more coming up in the near future. There have been many times that the only thing that keeps me holding on is Walter since the whole reason to move to this antiquated state was because of him and to be part of his life, not just a video grandma. I am so sorry for all that is happening to Suki and the moving company. I wonder if an attorney letter would help move the situation. Hopefully she can find a free one. We very easily could have had the same thing happen to us since they literally cost us over $5000 and did not move us, but we rented a U-Haul, did our own packing which we were not supposed to have to do, paid friends and family to help out since our cats were already in Texas before we arrived by 3 days due to having to stay to pack instead of being packed and moved by the company due to their lies. You know I rarely sleep still so you can reach out to me. I am so happy that you are finally feeling better. I am glad that you stood up for yourself even if it was hurtful at the time. I am glad that you have found a therapist who is helping, that is a big victory right there. Take care, my friend. Love and hugs from far away in Texas. Dawn
Been following you for quite a while. I’m sorry things have been hard. Just bought one of your bags-normally I just use Ziplocs or super-cheap zipper bags, but yours were lovely. I’m glad you are doing what you need to do to care for yourself.
Thank you for sharing this!!! I too have been going through a lot of stuff recently and finally , i'm finding my way out of it. I applaud you for standing up for yourself. Everyone's voice is important. I love.
your videos it is like sitting
with a friend and chatting. I will send you thoughts and prayers.❤❤❤❤
🧡🧡 so much of what you said resonated within me as you were talking. The feelings, the not wanting to bother anyone with it, the thoughts of inadequacy, all of it. I shed tears for both of us and what we have gone through fighting the black dog.
Love you long time 🐎🧵💛
Sending so much love! Thank you for sharing because I relate to some of your symptoms and am going to research and reach out to my Dr. Without you, I would not know the specifics other than my generalized diagnoses and that there is hope. Thanks so much and I’m glad you are feeling better.
Thanks for sharing it is appreciated. You did an excellent job of explaining it will help people. You have had really sucky year, so sorry. I despise people not taking responsibility for their actions especially with the line "It was a joke." No it wasn't and everyone knows it. I keep a comic Aunty Acid on my desk "Be Kind Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about." It keeps me aware to do the extra things even when I don't know why I am doing it. Never thought about AI patterns being controversial. I just vote with my purchases. I personally choose not to buy them but hold nothing against those who do. Patterns should be clearly marked as AI for that reason so the buyer will decide in the end. Have a GREAT day! 😁
Thank you, sharing your struggle helps other people and it helps to share. As hard as it is to try and explain the feels, You do an excellent job. People don't understand unless they've been there. Love, strength and healing to everyone that needs it. We are here to support you, and you can talk as long as you want and about anything you want. You are loved and wanted by us through your journey of healing and beyond. ❤ We are here for Suki also, watching for info update.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m sure it was a help be it big or small in some way to anyone who watched…including myself. You are very brave to do this. I personally found it very relaxing listening to your needle go in and out of the fabric also….crazy I know. My prayers are with you.❤ Hope we see you again soon.
I'd come across you from Jen and YT suggested your WIP parade. I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, but I'm glad you've made it through. I remember an ex kept telling me to stand up for myself, well until it came to standing up to him. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
It's lovely that you're planning on helping your friend Suki.
❤️❤️ we’ve talked about this numerous times as you said but this was a great video. It was very brave of you to share what you went through, and I hope anyone who listens to it and is struggling this way will take it to heart ❤love you friend
Thank you for sharing. I think mental illness should be talked about more. I have Major Depressive Disorder and there are days. I also enjoyed stitching with you.
Thank you for sharing things I struggle with as well. Also the update on Suki. She needs us.
I have had anxiety since BC, but I think I’ve had Major Depression and Anxiety my whole Life. I wish you well. I take Clonopin for the Anxiety and friends and family work with me with my depression and after so many years I have learned to find ways of coming out of it. My friends understand me better than my family. I have restlessness leg syndrome that came after my second pregnancy which I have anxiety over and chemo side effects that caused eating anxiety . There are so many problems that manifests from others. Live your best life. You WILL figure this out. Reach out to us ❤Peggy (As we age allergies rear its ugly head. I can take no pain relief at all. It’s hard, but we are so much stronger than we think we are. You will find that and you will learn skills to handle it. I was intubated for my hip replacement, had blood transfusions, I’m still fighting things. I am just now after 4 surgeries starting to come back. I take Xilifan for brain fog. Just keep fighting, never give in. I truly believe God is watching over you!
Thank you for doing this video. My mom has a mental illness declared when I was five, I never thought she was a bad mother, just that she is ill. Thank you for suggesting we should ask if the person is ok. I always thought that was intrusive, but now I see your point.
Sending you so much love and support. Thank you for sharing what is a very tough topic. You’re amazing❤
Oh huge huge hugs.
Holy.moly.
My inlaws just moved in with us this summer. Not like in in with us but in on the property.
My mil has bi polar one and since june 1 has been slowing going manic and into full psychosis.
It blow me laway how humans can survive on minited of sleep a day.
One forcible commitment by the cops, released. Spiraĺed again, commited again. Out now and trying to get the drugs figured out.
Its been A LOT. mental illness is so friggin legit.
I find it so refreshing that we live in a time where ppl can talk aboit this so much more then the past and 90% of people cant relate or are so compassionate
Massive massive hugs again❤❤❤❤
It's so difficult to explain to people who've never experienced passive ideation like that just how bone deep that feeling goes. It isn't quite apathy but it's very close cousins and it seeps into everything. It's also really hard to explain how ever-present that negativity is once its had a chance to settle in, it's so insidious and subtle sometimes in how it convinces us that we're only going to bother or annoy people even if part of us knows it isn't true. It's also hard to explain that it's both sad and nice to know you're not alone -- you wouldn't wish that on anyone else but damn at least it isn't just me who's had this experience, who has felt like this, someone else gets it and won't look at me like I should be immediately institutionalized. I'm so sorry so much of your stitching has been affected by things but at least there are still outlets and parts of the hobby that you're able to do, and you really seem to be pushing hard for positivity and those moments of light, and that means a lot.
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Dec of 2020, I was depressed for a bit. A few times fleeting moments of SI came into play. One night I pulled into my driveway, tears, and said...I could just do it in the shed. It's high enough.
Tears. Thought about my furbabies. My sister and nephews who lived in another state, etc.
I knew what I needed...antidepressants for 1. Of course, you can not get into anywhere for an appointment for months on end.
Thankfully, I work in healthcare, and the next night, I voiced what I literally thought to a PA friend, who wrote me a script.
The thing that lead up to it....I'm sure was the stress, sadness, etc of the effects of covid on the community. Thankfully, we didn't see a lot for a while because our state was one of the first that limited openings, outings, etc. So our area didn't see the detrimental situations like other parts, but it was still stressful, sad, overworked, etc.
Not to mention, in the late summer, I also had an outs with a best friend that I thought we would always be friends. I will always believe her new husband put the wedge there (as she had made weird, off the cuff comments). But it is what it is. People come into our lives for a reason and leave for a reason.
Sending you and all good thoughts if you are or were struggling. Reach out to people.
THANK YOU for sharing
I thought you were going to say “I think the world would do really well to have more people in therapy…” and I was like yasss girl. But then that’s not what you said, but I’m sticking with it 😅
I am 43 minutes in and never knew there was a term for just the thoughts.
💙💙💙💙
I looked on your shop and didn't see the measurements. Hopefully that can be added in.
Oh man i hope everythings ok❤❤❤❤❤
I see you too ❤
New subscriber I’m sending you some much needed hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 and why not pay into a PayPal account for her as no charges there please let me know as I would like to contribute😍😍👍👍
🤍🤍