My Wife is Having an Affair! Avoid This Toxic Paradox Of Doom to Save Your Marriage

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  • Опубликовано: 19 янв 2025

Комментарии • 99

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  4 года назад +11

    Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
    Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
    💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
    🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
    🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

    • @liufox4394
      @liufox4394 4 года назад

      Cheers for the video content! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you researched - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (search on google)? It is an awesome one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my best friend Jordan got cool results with it.

    • @stephenieg.yeieyah5197
      @stephenieg.yeieyah5197 4 года назад

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    • @jessesmith8431
      @jessesmith8431 2 года назад

      What if you keep digging deeper but some of this advice makes you sick? What if you were in your wife's position and still truly believe that you still wouldn't be cheating?

    • @cg1232
      @cg1232 9 месяцев назад

      So saying she shouls transfer, or quit because the affair partner is a co worker is bad? Wont the cinstant reminder and contact make the sittuation worse? How do you approach that? Just let it be and focus on my internal shifts? I should just say heyif you want to continue to talk to him while were married and see him while were married thats the approach i should have? and just say hey im here thoughm

  • @2pacorwhat
    @2pacorwhat Месяц назад +1

    This topic is so hard for me. I was very close to leaving some knee jerk reaction comment but I'm glad I watched until the end before commenting.

  • @magiktrafik6470
    @magiktrafik6470 8 месяцев назад +1

    Love your videos man. I’m in another program last 6 months and there’s about 20 people in my group who aren’t getting results and your videos have been topic of discussion.
    Problem I have with this advice is she won’t open up about anything. She just says it doesn’t matter it’s me problem and or just gets triggered and angry when I start asking questions to understand. She doesn’t even want to open up to be understood.
    We live separately and have been apart for a year but we have 2yr old.
    Really feels hopeless because she really acts like she hates me and I don’t understand why nor will she tell me

    • @magiktrafik6470
      @magiktrafik6470 8 месяцев назад

      Also I haven’t heard you address while your trying to create this safety and communication during the small windows one has, how and what should we be in our own life or creating and being in our own life.
      Cuz the work I have been doing still seems like I’m too focused on her even though I’m trying to be detached etc and now I’m thinking I should just be focused on my life and finance and social status etc

  • @tha-real-talk1176
    @tha-real-talk1176 2 года назад +20

    I hate to be THAT GUY but don't think I can easily thank her for telling me she choose to betray me.

    • @pieceofwood7064
      @pieceofwood7064 Год назад +7

      at some point its just too unfair to still be in a relationship with a woman like this

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 месяца назад +2

      You do not ask this to be fair to her, you ask this to be fair to yourself. Never said it was easy, but it could be one of the most important questions/paradigms shifts you make.
      Here's a recent video I made about this: ruclips.net/video/A9_jH7BQy4Q/видео.html
      When I was laid off...
      When I was facing the end of my relationship...
      When I was facing bankruptcy and being deported...
      I CHOSE to see each of these as a rare blessing, as a rare opportunity where life is giving me an opportunity to learn THE MOST.
      Instead of seeing how life and others have betrayed me...
      I CHOSE to see how I MAY have betrayed myself, life and others in the first place.
      This sounds crazy to the un-initiated, but watch the video above if you are curious.
      If not, all good.
      P.S. It's been 2 years since you made this comment. How's your romantic life going? Do you have the relationship you've always dreamed of?

  • @chitos2132
    @chitos2132 2 года назад +5

    I was loosing it again. Been watching your videos for a week now and had to come back and watch another one. Your videos deadass make me rethink my negative thoughts. She dumbed me 3 Weekes ago and it's so hard to keep it together. Thank you for these videos I'm trying to stay calm. Ik she's a good and wonderfull young lady. Should I call her the names like I did when we were together? Ik it's a process and I'm trying to stay in my place but I think she's avoiding me. I will continue to watch more and grow myself. Thank you again.

    • @Zayn913
      @Zayn913 Год назад

      My ex is an avoidant dismissive and I been with her for almost 5 years. The only way to attract a dismissive is to ironically leave them alone and focus on bettering yourself. Which is pretty much Geoffrey’s whole message. If you chase them in any way THEY WILL RUN. Guaranteed.

  • @bobmartens1089
    @bobmartens1089 2 года назад +3

    I think this was an Awsome video, im in a 40 year marriage, no abuse, not even arguments, but she wants out to live the last years of her life. This vid was eye opening thank you

  • @karolkozak64
    @karolkozak64 2 года назад +8

    I'm just worried that if you don't show there's consequence to it, the next time she might think it's perfectly fine to do it again... since your reaction is always gracious :D.

    • @user-sz6hk1nv3o
      @user-sz6hk1nv3o Год назад +2

      Exacly if by some miricle that person tries to come back like my ex did after 2 years i just told her the only reason she wanted me back is because her new men cheated on her 😂 and i was right. Realise your worth but if you take her back make sure you make her work for you dont act like everything was ok. First thing you say is you have alot of work to do and you have to gain my trust dont just jump into a relationship with her right away. Keep her distance and make her be the 1 that put the effort and slowly analize her action 👍.

    • @OUTDOORCRIB
      @OUTDOORCRIB Год назад +1

      exactly.

  • @ypucandeleteit
    @ypucandeleteit Год назад +1

    This is your best video. I wish I had seen it when I found out about my partner's affair. It would have stopped me from acting instinctively and blaming character

  • @jaslikeswater
    @jaslikeswater 4 года назад +16

    Such an underrated channel, keep up the great videos!

  • @andysarah6616
    @andysarah6616 4 года назад +8

    Thank you for the tips full of wisdom , to understand the cause of the wife’s infidelity in the marriage.

    • @liufox4394
      @liufox4394 4 года назад

      Cheers for the video content! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you researched - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (search on google)? It is an awesome one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my best friend Jordan got cool results with it.

  • @BillyVatcher
    @BillyVatcher 2 года назад +6

    Sometimes I am so tired and wish things could be simple and beautiful. Still I feel much calmer after listening to your videos. Thank you.

  • @justinsabater7567
    @justinsabater7567 Год назад +2

    The problem for me is that she was in contact with this man for months exchanging explicit content and sleeping with him in his car multiple times out front of my house and the way this came to light was because I went through her phone and I saw that 2 weeks ago she had sent more explicit content so I don’t even know how much longer it was gonna continue on for

    • @mamasboy6128
      @mamasboy6128 Год назад

      My situation sounds like yours. I also found horrible explicit texts that I couldn't believe. I was in total shock. I took pics of the texts, but I can't figure out how to bring them up. But I know she's still continuing this behavior.

    • @justinsabater7567
      @justinsabater7567 Год назад

      @@mamasboy6128 you need to step up to the plate and say something immediately but not in a way that shows weakness don’t shed a single tear for her because she obviously has no respect for you but once you step up and tell her what you saw and know and tell her to pack her things without showing anger, sadness or disappointment she’ll then see you you’re stronger than me because the second I saw the texts and phone calls I confronted her and had her pack her things that same night

  • @jefftritt3667
    @jefftritt3667 2 года назад +2

    Hi Geoffrey, I have been studying your videos for months and have been having success gaining ground with my wife while we are separated. My question on this topic is what are your feelings on your wife talking/seeing someone else at the same time as seeing where are relationship goes? I understand her reasons to look elsewhere but how can our relationship heal and grow while another person is involved? At some point do you have to address this issue and express that you don’t agree with it and it needs to end? I’m struggling at this point with this. I feel our communication has gotten better and we are spending time together more. Am I just not bulletproof enough to handle what is happening?
    Thanks I appreciate your knowledge
    Jeff

    • @jonellis2134
      @jonellis2134 2 года назад +7

      I'd say that it does no good to try and control that side of it, even though it's hard you just need to work on keep the progression going with her to the point that it's her choice to come back to you and stop seeing the other person, she will do it if and when she feels it's right for her and to try and control that choice is going to be forcing her and not her choice then. She needs to feel like it's her choice and it needs to be her choice otherwise it's false

  • @alra0007
    @alra0007 3 года назад +11

    I am so mind blown this makes so much sense. When i found out. I did some of this steps. Now i learned there's more. I feel very positive about my marriage now. I will win her back. If not I'm okay because I'm growing as a human. Thanks to your advice Geoffrey S. (:

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 года назад +3

      Hi Al,
      You are welcome brother! You main focus is to grow yourself to become the very BEST!
      Once you have empowered yourself with the skills & knowledge, you will be well equipped to save your marriage.

  • @gadgetman136
    @gadgetman136 4 года назад +2

    You are absolutely correct. I hope men going through this situation find your video.

  • @NappyHeadedInsight
    @NappyHeadedInsight 2 года назад +1

    I just found you man, where are you?? How can I meet w u face to face?? Is the master class still a thing?

  • @oriolef7952
    @oriolef7952 Год назад

    What you are saying is how my partner will react. I can't say much. According to him he is right all the time.

  • @troyhazelton2554
    @troyhazelton2554 4 года назад +3

    Great video. I commented on your vid last week and you said wait to watch this one but honestly this isn't relevant to my situation since it happened after seperation. Honestly man we need to video chat or have a phone convo because the situation im in I feel like would have even you confused lol

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 года назад +2

      Hey Troy -- Have you, by any chance, joined the masterclass and signup up for an application call?
      I’d like to use that call to really understand your situation deeper and see if and how I can help. If not, feel free to sign up here: relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

  • @jessesmith8431
    @jessesmith8431 2 года назад +3

    My wife is having an affair with a coworker. She tells me she loves me and wants to work it out but can't cut ties with the other guy cuz she has feelings for him. Now she continues to talk to him but says she's not going to be with him... I feel like I'm getting played. It's really confusing and complicated. We've been married over 14 years and have three kids.
    Been watching a bunch of these videos for weeks and been trying really hard to work on myself. Had some set backs. But idk... Feel stuck and in an awkward situation. My heart is broken. Finding it hard to heal

    • @ILOVEISRAELETERNALLY
      @ILOVEISRAELETERNALLY 2 года назад +2

      I understand how you feel. Pray, give it all to God. He loves you more than anyone, and will never fail you.

    • @karolkozak64
      @karolkozak64 2 года назад +4

      Jesse, I'm just reaching out as a random guy to a random guy. Hope you have managed finally to find comfort and peace within yourself. Because even if she had stopped doing this, there's a whole process of coming to terms with it no matter whether you stay together or move on. It leaves a scar that may affect your future relationships making you more vulnerable.
      Life happens to all of us and we often think we are alone. Sometimes you just have to move on, accept the reality for what it is, go through all the grief and become a stronger and better person. For yourself, not for others. You have your own worth. Don't let anyone or any situation tell you a different story. A person cannot love two people at the same time. If someone says they had developed feelings for someone else, it's worse than saying it was just about sex. Best of luck to you, stay strong brother.

    • @GregMunro-m1r
      @GregMunro-m1r 6 месяцев назад

      Danm brutha thats a tuff situatuon. Praying for a positve out com for u bro

  • @justinsabater7567
    @justinsabater7567 Год назад

    I also spoke to him over the phone and he came to light about everything even the explicit stuff

  • @aaronwoodard4413
    @aaronwoodard4413 Год назад

    She won’t even talk to me. She has me blocked and was being mean and cold before that. I tried to work things out but it seems like all hope is lost. What am I supposed to do at this point if I want to reconcile?

  • @Chosenfew_0129
    @Chosenfew_0129 4 года назад +2

    6 months separated and she still call him a friend what that’s mean she still denies that she in affair

  • @alphawavesready6639
    @alphawavesready6639 3 года назад +2

    Geoffrey what if it's the other way around. I confessed to my girlfriend about me talking to another girl behind my girlfriends back and she is extremely pissed not wanting to see and also just avoiding contact.
    Im doing my best to reserve my comments or reaching out. I done enough as far as reaching out. Her stuff is still at my house so i gotta focus on myself and change myself and wait for my girlfriend to reach back out

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 года назад

      Hi Simplicity,
      Emotions can and do change with time…
      When the opportunity does come up to interact with her, just be prepared to show that you admit that you were wrong and you are working on your changes.

    • @alphawavesready6639
      @alphawavesready6639 3 года назад

      @@GeoffreySetiawan i been texting her everynight to meet up in person. Also i don't know if im doing too much. I already i admitted i was in the wrong and that I do want to change.

    • @MMAStriking
      @MMAStriking 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@alphawavesready6639just let her go. You don't really want her if you are talking to other girls.

  • @yorrgh
    @yorrgh 3 года назад

    Man... You're such a master in dating. Simply the best.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 года назад

      Hi Jorge,
      So glad you found this video useful. Such a compliment. Many of my clients have realized that these videos are just the beginning of how they can change their lives in massive ways.
      If you would like to learn more, you can join our free masterclass & consider enrolling in our program.
      In our Relationship Revival program all our clients have learnt the RIGHT processes (frameworks, mindsets & identity shifting) to create MASSIVE safety & trust.
      Have a look at how the program has been life-changing for so many of my clients…
      ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU

  • @theonemrham
    @theonemrham 4 года назад

    You are a God Sent! Bless you and I'm strongly considering the classes.

  • @jadenroby4893
    @jadenroby4893 2 года назад

    What if I am the one who had the affair and my wife wants a divorce and is going out on dates and talking to other men?

  • @rhinaherrera1229
    @rhinaherrera1229 Год назад

    How to deal when my wife ask me for space and when I called she says I'm not alone in a hotel room I felt like my whole world shatter she never said anything until she went to a hotel with someone else how to deal with this and bow she moved in with the other person but my wife message me saying I thought of you she said she misses the house but idk what she is going through because we are in no contact can you help me plz

  • @OUTDOORCRIB
    @OUTDOORCRIB Год назад

    what if shes happy about it and no remorse? still smiling at her? no showing that your angry? its easy to say if your not in the situation.

  • @blairkelley6013
    @blairkelley6013 3 года назад +1

    If we are living apart, she is happy with the new guy, and doesn't want to have conversations about us anymore, how do I make progress in winning her back?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 года назад

      Hi Brian,
      I often get this very question. I want to share with you a video that will show you that you alone have the power to save your marriage.
      ruclips.net/video/esDN2K4efhY/видео.html

    • @everready2903
      @everready2903 3 года назад +1

      There's nothing you can do. She's happy. Unless the honeymoon period ends.

  • @milesmatulionis
    @milesmatulionis 2 года назад +1

    Wish I found this video 9 months ago, very insightful.

  • @royalryanmusic
    @royalryanmusic Год назад

    What should I do if we just don’t talk anymore & we don’t spend any time together or sleep together? How should I approach this?

  • @biersmorgen6609
    @biersmorgen6609 Год назад

    She doesn't feel safe ....safety is key so hard when its gone

  • @cg1232
    @cg1232 9 месяцев назад

    I feel like boundries are necessary in a relationship
    Whats a relationship without them? Its just friends with benifits??

  • @craggyexplores3070
    @craggyexplores3070 2 года назад +2

    Never take back a affair cheater. The behaviour gets enabled the sceond u do. The act is 1 thats instant disqualification. Off the pitch red card gone. Period.

  • @villekemu
    @villekemu 4 года назад +1

    My wife is in love with her co-worker. She's been trying to fight the feelings but has declared that she can't. How do I approach this situation? She would like to get rid of the feelings but I think she needs help. How do I help my wife?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 года назад +2

      What was your takeaway from this video?

    • @villekemu
      @villekemu 4 года назад +1

      @@GeoffreySetiawan well I've followed your advice on how to approach this topic. We've had the best open conversations in years. So some kind of a stonewall has started to crumble. She keeps the trust issue on the table and I think hat is keeping her away from me. I think I need to let her do her own thing without any strings attached and provide her with an environment where she can feel that she is available to do what she needs to do.

    • @BlueTTgt
      @BlueTTgt 4 года назад +7

      @@villekemu absolutely not. You cannot allow her to continue to cheat. If she cannot end contact with the affair partner, she will need to seek help. If all else fails, get a divorce. You do NOT deserve to be in that. Find someone better

    • @villekemu
      @villekemu 4 года назад +6

      @@BlueTTgt yeap! Got divorced and now actually happier than ever! Started seeing new wonderful people and enjoying the aspects of life I had neglected for years. It was definitely the right decision :)

  • @zebel2day4
    @zebel2day4 2 года назад

    What if the wife has no fantasy?

  • @faaroncarthy680
    @faaroncarthy680 2 года назад

    Thank you, I'll let you know how I get on(today) 💚🇮🇪

  • @chrismayfield9240
    @chrismayfield9240 4 года назад

    I’m having a very similar problem. Is there any chance we could have a talk?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  4 года назад

      Hi Chris! I appreciate you coming to me about this, as I'm sure you can understand I'm often asked for advice when it comes to people's relationships. I would love to be able to thoroughly respond to everyone who asks, but I reserve my time and attention for my paying clients.
      If you want to start making progress on this, I have a masterclass that will be really helpful. :) And at the end of that masterclass, you will have the opportunity to submit your application to work with me through the Relationships Revival program if you're interested.
      You can sign up for the masterclass here: relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

  • @ssjcadic
    @ssjcadic 2 года назад

    what if she in a rebound?

    • @remyd1984
      @remyd1984 Год назад +1

      How long was you with her? How did it play out mate?

    • @ssjcadic
      @ssjcadic Год назад +1

      ​@@remyd1984 I apologize for the delayed response. We are no longer together, but I am not sad about it, despite the fact that it was a 5-year relationship. The longer we have been apart, the more I realize it was necessary. However, it is important to remember the valuable lessons Geoffrey taught us. Keep those in mind, and you will find true happiness in your next relationship.

  • @byronwesley8090
    @byronwesley8090 4 года назад

    Is mark Santiago apart of your coaches ?

  • @anishmahadeo5073
    @anishmahadeo5073 2 года назад

    #safetyfirst!

  • @bruceleehee9267
    @bruceleehee9267 3 месяца назад

    I have a friend doing this technique. Now his wife has her cake and can it it too . Not good

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  3 месяца назад +1

      Can you define what "this" is?
      ruclips.net/video/A9_jH7BQy4Q/видео.html
      Is "this" is being a pushover and just allowing the affair to happen, but doing nothing to work on his 5 pillars & internal shifts, then we're talking about two different "this".
      But if "this" is choosing fork #2 in the video above, and he is using this as a rare opportunity to really grow in the right ways, then just you wait and see who laughs last :)
      Fork #2 takes years to fully play out, sometimes.
      In fact, 2/3 of my coaches who quit their higher paying jobs to risk it all, change industries 180 degrees, and decided to work for us, dealt with affairs :)
      And there are zero regrets there - cannot lose with Fork #2.

  • @GTDpowah
    @GTDpowah Год назад

    Well, no matter what lead to it - cheating is bad and wrong.

  • @robn2171
    @robn2171 3 года назад

    Those damn pair-ah-dimes.

  • @Rocky305MS
    @Rocky305MS Год назад

    Maybe this works if you want to start swinging with your partner

  • @jefftritt3667
    @jefftritt3667 2 года назад +12

    Hi Geoffrey, I have been studying your videos for months and have been having success gaining ground with my wife while we are separated. My question on this topic is what are your feelings on your wife talking/seeing someone else at the same time as seeing where are relationship goes? I understand her reasons to look elsewhere but how can our relationship heal and grow while another person is involved? At some point do you have to address this issue and express that you don’t agree with it and it needs to end? I’m struggling at this point with this. I feel our communication has gotten better and we are spending time together more. Am I just not bulletproof enough to handle what is happening?
    Thanks I appreciate your knowledge
    Jeff

    • @darkvenom5258
      @darkvenom5258 2 года назад +1

      Hi Jeff, just curious if you and your wife are back together?

    • @jadenroby4893
      @jadenroby4893 2 года назад

      @@darkvenom5258 Same

    • @jadenroby4893
      @jadenroby4893 2 года назад

      update

    • @josiah638
      @josiah638 2 года назад

      Update please

    • @RossBayCult
      @RossBayCult Год назад +1

      Jeff, same here. How is it going? I'm going through the same situation.