I was a student of Dr G. In the 70’s at Indiana University in the Doctoral Psychology Program and was fortunate to do research for him! I have followed him since. I trained to use his methods and I too find a success rate of even the most damaged and hurt couples to be well over 80%. By success it’s much more than preventing divorce it’s loving by these four trainings and much more. Research over theory in a field with an otherwise low success rate around 25-30%. Not all has been borne out but a high degree of his findings have. Kudos. Dr. Bernard Shaw
I am fortunate to have been happily married to the love of my life for over twenty-five years. We've had the kind of relationship that others envy and many people who know us well are amazed at how well we get along. I bought your book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to see how your research compared to what we have in our marriage and I found it compared favourably. After reading it, I realized that my husband and I would probably be called Masters by your definition. In fact, we would probably rank in the very top of the Master class. I'm so happy that you have been able to make this information available to so many people and sincerely hope that they will apply it to their relationships.
Congratulations to you and your husband. It’s inspiring knowing that some of us are able to create lasting and loving connections. Here is to you both🍾
John Gottman's research has made a significant contribution to bringing the field of study of relationships and marriage so much closer to the teachings of the Baha'i Faith making the art of unity, creating harmony, compromise, loving consultation, using a kindly manner in communication, realizing that a kindly tongue is the loadstone of the hearts of men, etc important in making relationship work and be stable.. I deeply appreciate him proving how science and true religion are in harmony.
Collective delusion is what I see in those beliefs 😇 I'm about to stop watching these doctor just because of what you just said. I don't want to be indoctrinated with that kind of stuff once again.
at 9:24 he FINALLY says... the "masters" are gentle with one another and accept responsibility for some part of the problem... skip the first 9 mins 24 secs.
Darn. I was hoping he'd say that the masters kept all of their feelings inside, avoided all difficult conversations, and went on regular hikes to cope.
such a great study! And this portion about the children and the last trimester of pregnancy affecting the child. I have always stated I noticed a direct correlation between how many children are and who they are upon who I was when I was pregnant with them.I had thought maybe I was taking on attributes of their personality....people usually look at me like I'm crazy when I say this but it's the truth. I would be interested to know understand that topic alone a little deeper.
I wish there were more videos, I re- watch these videos and I learn something new every time, he is a great teacher.. I cant wait to get all of his books.. Please post more videos..!
John Gottman actually has a book where he goes in-depth into these and other principles of good marriages! It's called "7 Habits for Making Marriage Work!"
Discriminating masters from the disasters in relationships: How to air resentments! How can you be gentle when you're feeling unappreciated? This is a MUST SEE video series!!! #human #relationships @damnitstrue #love #women #men #help #science
This video is so excellent, I can only imagine there aren't too many comments because everyone is so intrigued and interested in what Dr. Gottman has to say!
I need to find SOMETHING or SOMEONE to open my (soon to be ex) husband’s mind to possibilities other than divorce. So desperate, pathetic, and sad, and I know I am “reacting” rather than responding and internalizing everything, therefore allowing myself to spiral down mentally again (go into deep deep depressions). What can I do? Who can I turn to? I need someone to get through to him....so confuse Because divorce goes against everything he stands for as a man strong in his Christian faith. Totally blindsided.
@@matildejimenez5871 Hard to swallow, but you’re spot on. He has been wanting me out for over 7 months now. Just been feeling so bad for him. Thought things would turn around because of his faith and values etc...guess I was wrong. Definitely should have gotten myself a lot better, too. But, I have to remember his mind was well mad up...and long before I knew, as well.
@@natalie9884 If you are needing advice, you can ask professional help from Focus on the Family, it's a good ministry. Don't think that you are sinning by letting him out, the Bible doesn't demand from us that others act correctly. The book I recomended is very good :), it orients a lot. Trust God, the hearts of people are in His hand, you don't have the responsibility of changing your husbad's mind, but if God is intending he will. If he comes back you two can always remarry :3, but by clinging to him maybe you are just making his will stronger
I am going through something very similar except we are not religious. I really want to make it work when he wants to end it. I don't know what do. Any suggestions that helped you? I'm trying to give him as much space as I can but both our hearts are really breaking here.
Can't get depth without longevity. Or can you? Could you give me some pointers in how you've accomplished depth over longevity? I know this is the internet and therefore easy to be pekish. Could I have an answer which assumes I have the sensitivity of a young child but also the respect of someone you trust and admire?
Perhaps by depth what is meant is the ability to relate beyond surface levels and see values relate as it pertains to introspective views and relfective reasoning on many of life's matters. That doesn't always need longevity. It can happen in a jiffy.
I think my wife is a master while Im a disaster. But I honestly think my wife has issues, so why shouldn't I point them out when she confronts me? I rarely try to be upset enough with something to start an argument. She on the other hand is driven by her friends opinions and I get blind sided ever so often with some friends opinion of what i did or didn't do. She searches my phone and email and though I have never cheated, I do keep in contact with my ex's and she nags and nags about it.
Karen, that's an *unrelated* advertisement, which you happen to be seeing on youtube's webpage -- it has nothing to do with this video, nor w/ Gottman.
7.30 mins is where the real information starts.
9:24 I think.
You need to see the 4 Part to see the core of the research and how the Gotman approach can help couples that are struggling
Yeah but you’d miss the essence of the man, which is a pity.
I was a student of Dr G. In the 70’s at Indiana University in the Doctoral Psychology Program and was fortunate to do research for him! I have followed him since. I trained to use his methods and I too find a success rate of even the most damaged and hurt couples to be well over 80%. By success it’s much more than preventing divorce it’s loving by these four trainings and much more. Research over theory in a field with an otherwise low success rate around 25-30%. Not all has been borne out but a high degree of his findings have. Kudos.
Dr. Bernard Shaw
I am fortunate to have been happily married to the love of my life for over twenty-five years. We've had the kind of relationship that others envy and many people who know us well are amazed at how well we get along. I bought your book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to see how your research compared to what we have in our marriage and I found it compared favourably. After reading it, I realized that my husband and I would probably be called Masters by your definition. In fact, we would probably rank in the very top of the Master class. I'm so happy that you have been able to make this information available to so many people and sincerely hope that they will apply it to their relationships.
Good for you guys!!
Congratulations to you and your husband. It’s inspiring knowing that some of us are able to create lasting and loving connections. Here is to you both🍾
John Gottman's research has made a significant contribution to bringing the field of study of relationships and marriage so much closer to the teachings of the Baha'i Faith making the art of unity, creating harmony, compromise, loving consultation, using a kindly manner in communication, realizing that a kindly tongue is the loadstone of the hearts of men, etc important in making relationship work and be stable.. I deeply appreciate him proving how science and true religion are in harmony.
Stuff it with that voodoo shit Keyvan.
Collective delusion is what I see in those beliefs 😇 I'm about to stop watching these doctor just because of what you just said. I don't want to be indoctrinated with that kind of stuff once again.
at 9:24 he FINALLY says... the "masters" are gentle with one another and accept responsibility for some part of the problem... skip the first 9 mins 24 secs.
Darn. I was hoping he'd say that the masters kept all of their feelings inside, avoided all difficult conversations, and went on regular hikes to cope.
such a great study! And this portion about the children and the last trimester of pregnancy affecting the child. I have always stated I noticed a direct correlation between how many children are and who they are upon who I was when I was pregnant with them.I had thought maybe I was taking on attributes of their personality....people usually look at me like I'm crazy when I say this but it's the truth. I would be interested to know understand that topic alone a little deeper.
Gottman is a such a great scientist. His research is fantastic and he's so good at talking about it and explaining it.
I wish there were more videos, I re-
watch these videos and I learn something new every time, he is a great teacher.. I cant wait to get all of his books.. Please post more videos..!
John Gottman actually has a book where he goes in-depth into these and other principles of good marriages! It's called "7 Habits for Making Marriage Work!"
Amazing contribution and putting couples together for the better
I love this man and his research!
Ty
Thank's for advice Dr. Gottman.
Discriminating masters from the disasters in relationships: How to air resentments! How can you be gentle when you're feeling unappreciated? This is a MUST SEE video series!!! #human #relationships @damnitstrue #love #women #men #help #science
This video is so excellent, I can only imagine there aren't too many comments because everyone is so intrigued and interested in what Dr. Gottman has to say!
Thank you Dr Gottman! ....
These Gottmans are game changers, I quote their work in my sessions ( Hope that's Ok )
Watch to the literal end. There are some really good tips
Came across Dr. Gottman from reading a booked called Blinked by Malcolm Gladwell. Interesting!
Sometimes it just doesn't work
How to make relationships work by Count Dooku.
Dr. Gottman what are the reasons for the failures to connect emotionally?
He talks about meta emotion styles - www.gottman.com/blog/meta-emotion-how-you-feel-about-feelings/
I need to find SOMETHING or SOMEONE to open my (soon to be ex) husband’s mind to possibilities other than divorce. So desperate, pathetic, and sad, and I know I am “reacting” rather than responding and internalizing everything, therefore allowing myself to spiral down mentally again (go into deep deep depressions). What can I do? Who can I turn to? I need someone to get through to him....so confuse Because divorce goes against everything he stands for as a man strong in his Christian faith. Totally blindsided.
I recomend to you the book Love Must Be Tough, by James Dobson. If you keep making your hurband feel traped it can only make it worse
@@matildejimenez5871 Hard to swallow, but you’re spot on. He has been wanting me out for over 7 months now. Just been feeling so bad for him. Thought things would turn around because of his faith and values etc...guess I was wrong. Definitely should have gotten myself a lot better, too. But, I have to remember his mind was well mad up...and long before I knew, as well.
@@natalie9884 If you are needing advice, you can ask professional help from Focus on the Family, it's a good ministry. Don't think that you are sinning by letting him out, the Bible doesn't demand from us that others act correctly. The book I recomended is very good :), it orients a lot. Trust God, the hearts of people are in His hand, you don't have the responsibility of changing your husbad's mind, but if God is intending he will. If he comes back you two can always remarry :3, but by clinging to him maybe you are just making his will stronger
I am going through something very similar except we are not religious. I really want to make it work when he wants to end it. I don't know what do. Any suggestions that helped you? I'm trying to give him as much space as I can but both our hearts are really breaking here.
Thank you Dr. Gottman!
Karen-it is garbage. Gottman isn't selling that, it's spam. J. Gottman's work is highly researched and respected. Just thought you'd like to know...
Humanity at its best 🫂.
After reading his books, for some reason I thought he sounded exactly like this.
✨
Nice spam!
Woman
quality relationships are about depth not longevity....this is old school.
Can't get depth without longevity. Or can you? Could you give me some pointers in how you've accomplished depth over longevity? I know this is the internet and therefore easy to be pekish. Could I have an answer which assumes I have the sensitivity of a young child but also the respect of someone you trust and admire?
David Sitthideth Nice insight, Id like to hear from you.
Perhaps by depth what is meant is the ability to relate beyond surface levels and see values relate as it pertains to introspective views and relfective reasoning on many of life's matters. That doesn't always need longevity. It can happen in a jiffy.
I think my wife is a master while Im a disaster. But I honestly think my wife has issues, so why shouldn't I point them out when she confronts me? I rarely try to be upset enough with something to start an argument. She on the other hand is driven by her friends opinions and I get blind sided ever so often with some friends opinion of what i did or didn't do. She searches my phone and email and though I have never cheated, I do keep in contact with my ex's and she nags and nags about it.
Sarah Felder
yes?
Karen, that's an *unrelated* advertisement, which you happen to be seeing on youtube's webpage -- it has nothing to do with this video, nor w/ Gottman.