Of course, keeping clutter down is going to make our lives happier and prevent leaving chores for others. However, I never for a moment felt it was a burden, spending time with my mother and sisters going thru my grandmother's belongings when she passed. We shared memories, laughed, cried, and sang as we each claimed a few keepsakes and boxed up the rest to donate. It can be a sweet way to grieve together. ❤
I think it can be sweet when the amount of stuff that's left is manageable. When it's a huge hoard, it can be almost unbearable and very time consuming. We generally don't get much time off in the U.S., and it can be very hard to clean out other people's homes for months or years while simultaneously working 40-80 hrs/week and being caregivers to various members of the family, some of whom might be disabled and impoverished
I completed genuine death cleaning when I had terminal cancer. I thought I had three months, and I was already a minimalist, so I quickly gave away most of my stuff and got down to almost nothing left. Then, surprise, immunotherapy cured me, or at least put me in a long remission, for seven years so far. Now I'm a super-minimalist and I love living this way. And I love living. Sometimes I wonder where some particular thing I gave away went (for example my scuba gear) and I hunt everywhere for it, because I was on heavy morphine during the purge and I guess it got a little crazier than I remember. I also gave away a lot of my money, but maybe the resulting karma is what saved me, who knows. UPDATE 1 year later I'm still fine and I still don't need any stuff! Good luck with your death cleaning. It's good for your life :)
Wow, that is a very inspiring story. I think the importance of minimalism is just what you say - that when it comes down to it, our stuff (not even our money) matters. Just our lives!
You're very brave person to face the death. I lost my husband to cancer 9 months ago. We struggled 2 years with cancer. I was his primary caregiver. And it's very tough. I'm glad you made it. Wish you remission and long happy life.
I first learned about this beautiful concept through a children's book "Old Pig". I had already started purging items but was recently diagnosed with cancer. I don't want to burden my family if treatments aren't successful. It is so true that leaving behind hoards of items is overwhelming for your loved ones. Losing both sets of Grandparents has taught me that. There is much wisdom to be learned from this Swedish tradition. The Holy Bible tells us not to store up treasures in Earth where thieves break in and moths destroy but to store up treasures in heaven. We should bless others while we are alive. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing this with the world.
I remember as a famous actress was once asked about the "big" before-Christmas cleaning/organization/how she does it, etc. She looked at the interviewer and replied, I am maintaining my abode all year long, so I really don't understand why the before-Christmas cleaning should be different. That leads me to the interpretation that we should maintain our belongings all the time like this is our last day on this earth, and then we will not need any special before-death cleaning, lol. But since most of us are not like the famous actress (who, of course, had some professional help for maintaining her house in a flawless condition), thanks to Margareta for the wise and inspirational book!
When Mum died last Christmas I made up my mind to downsize to a new house and that definitely meant decluttering. It’s almost 11 months now and I’m still working at it. I’ve sold or given to charity a lot of clothes and books and things I collected throughout my life. I find it’s an iterative process where I get rid of things and set aside possessions I want to keep. I then go back to those possessions a few months later and decide I don’t want to hang on to all / most of them after all. It’s a liberating feeling to thin out my life.
It's been 16 years and I'm still selling and donating some of my mum's stuff. She thought it was a gift (some of it was!) but even the stuff that sold for a good amount, selling it is a burden! It's so stressful! This makes a lot of sense... I'm trying to find a way to give the book to my dad without him freaking out 😅
Oh dear. I've been working on my mom's stuff for 5 years. I hope I don't have 11 years to go! Although I've met people who have had multiple estate sales & still have stuff to get rid of from their parents.
Wow. I told my son that when I die, he can chuck the whole lot of it in a dumpster if he wants. I told him not to dump the real sterling silverware or my gold jewelry, though! But I told him that although I enjoy having my stuff, I don't expect anyone else to.
My mum gave a lot away when she was still able. I asked her why she would do that and her answer was exactly this, to see the joy it would bring to someone. The expression she used to describe the practice was "From warm hands." Which really emphasises the intent of a kind hart.
@@SagaJohanna Thx. :) She did her best and then a little more. The other side of the practise is that she could make sure that the right belongings ended up with the right person, to make sure no fighting would occur over who would get what after her death.
I am doing this exact thing with those things that I do not use myself anymore but are in some way sentimental and family related. And there is always one or two of my children who wants them and it makes me happy that they can get them now instead of me having to carry them around until I die. I've also been decluttering for quite a few years so our children will not be overwelmed when we are gone (we are only 63 so hopefully that won't be for quite some time 😊).
I am 68 years of age and for several years have been decluttering slowly. In the past 4 years I have given away approximately 100 books, movies etc., also I went through my paperwork and threw away what was no longer wanted or needed. Same with clothes, donated items that no longer fit or I just didn't want them anymore. It feels good to let go of unwanted 'stuff'. I'm starting another cleanse/ declutter today.
When My Mother died 3 years ago, we had to clean stuff from a giant house. I promised myself on behalf of my kids it would not happens when I died. So I started SDC before I knew the concept. I'm Danish by the way 😊
Never heard of this. But I’ve already started cleaning up and parting with things. I’m 75 and I’m not going to need it in a hole in the ground or as a pile of ash. If I can help someone out or make them happy I don’t mind doing it. Thanks for the video. Good call.
I have been a hoarder for my entire life and after seeing one episode of the Sewdish Death Cleaning show, I am determined to clean up my life. It makes so much sense-I want to use what I have and throw out what I don’t need so I can really enjoy my life! Starting now!
I've been a hoarder my entire life, too. Still, I have good intentions not to leave all my junk for others to deal with. I did tell them I'll leave enough in my estate for them to pay for junk haulers. Mine is 75% clothes and 25% papers. I don't have anywhere near as much emotional attachment to papers, so I will work on scanning and tossing them first. Clothes is a huge problem - I have entire wardrobes sizes 8 through 8X - yes, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38 - the 8x is Chinese sizes for American 4X or 5X, which is the size I am now - but I know it's trauma weight, and I don't want to give up on the determination to fix my emotions which will likely reduce my weight.
@@flygirl2b give away all the clothes that don't fit you. If you lose weight later, you can always buy new or second hand to trest yourself. I tried on every piece of clothing I own and gave away everything that didn't fit now. I kept a few pieces that I liked the fabric and remade it into something else. Now I can find something to wear when I look in my cupboard.
When I heard of this concept the idea of getting rid of embarrassing items/belongings hit home. On the attic I had collected letters and notes from former boyfriends. I threw them out immediately as I figured it would be inappropriate for my husband to deal with it and really embarrassing for my son. His image of me is not compatible with that of being the love interest of to him unknown guys from my past.
Yes, I can imagine that being quite awkward, especially from our teenage our younger love's, where we might have thought we were destined to be together, only to break up a little while later :D
I'll admit, the history nerd in me is inconsolable even if your reasoning makes perfect sense. Old letters is a treasure for historians and they can end up making a researcher's paper possible 500 years later. Especially paper letters, since they are a lot more compatible with long term storage than our newfangled digital media that is already giving the archivists headaches 😅
Great video! Good to get some perspective that breaks down the myths that have started among non-Swedes about this process. I began this process at age 69, mainly because I live alone in a very tiny studio apartment. I didn't start for health reasons; I'm in fine health, don't need regular medication, and come from people who live well into their 90s. One thing I would add to your discussion is about documents. One of the hardest thing for those who survive you has to be the footprint you leave in the world. There are accounts to close down, assets to trace and retrieve, arrangements already in place, and of course behests to honor. Even if you haven't yet passed on, these things need management if you become ill or otherwise incapacitated. Passwords, financial/insurance accounts, utilities, time-payments, memberships, subscriptions, social media accounts, asset maintenance, medical/legal authority, wills/trusts, etc. There's just so much that are invisible or overlooked in daily life, but when you start to list them is quite daunting. Think what it's like for someone just walking in to handle your affairs! There are kits available, mainly workbooks or accordion files with a handbook, that will guide you in consolidating the information. A lot of it can be scanned and stored on a thumb drive, an external hard drive, or in a Cloud account. Or, get your will, living will, and power of attorney drawn out and leave the organized documents or Cloud access info with a trusted attorney. You could also leave this info in a bank's safe deposit box, which can be rented for between $15-$150/yr. Some banks even offer electronic safe deposit boxes for e-documents, but physical ones can also hold small valuables, like cash or jewelry or small items with only sentimental value. -For those who are temporarily hospitalized, it would be great to be able to cancel or suspend subscriptions, like meal/food deliveries or other deliveries that would require someone present in the home to receive them. -For those permanently handicapped, hospitalized, or incapacitated, it would be great to conserve resources and cancel or return items, subscriptions, or plans you will not be able to attend or physically/mentally handle, like cruises, exercise equipment, or ticketed social events. -For those who are planning end-of-life, whether their time is close or they're just being generally prepared, it is a kindness to the executor (especially if a family member or a volunteer) and to those helping to wrap up that life's lose ends. Without that organization of the info, it can take months or years to shut it all down, and meanwhile it leaves a way for identity theft to dishonor the life lost and rob the dead of resources meant to go elsewhere. This paperwork issue has always struck me as something we should all do (and periodically revisit), especially once we have kids. My grandfather told me time and again over years that he wanted ME to inherit his home. But he didn't trust lawyers, so he died with no will. I was left with no right to anything. I was his first grandchild, visited him often (traveling 600 miles each way) with my daughter, I even sat with him the day before he passed away, gave the eulogy, and was a pallbearer. But the technical intricacies of inheritance left me with nothing. This can happen if you don't prepare for the inevitable unforeseeable. At least BEGIN the process of consolidating your info and how to access it: the websites, user IDs, passwords, pin numbers, security questions/answers, account numbers, addresses, phone numbers, expiration dates, serial numbers, etc. Maybe switch back from facial/fingerprint/motion recognition access to old-fashioned text-entry format.
This is so true! Having had to sort through these things for a deceased family member, I can confirm that it was one of the most complicated things to deal with. My 2024 resolution is to have all that paperwork sorted and gathered for easy access for my loved ones, were I to pass away this year.
Hey hey! Guess what? I am not Swedish, I am Central European living in the US. Years ago when I had heart problems I started to rationalize my possessions, without even having a clue that I was doing "death cleaning". I had taken car loads of my possessions to the Goodwill, and presented other stuff to friends and neighbors. The experience was like flying in a hot air balloon, getting higher up by dropping all the extra load. I still do that, and every item getting out of my house makes me happier, distancing myself from worldly possessions and the burden that you don't really own the junk, the junk owns you. I think less of ownership is the path to more spirituality, and simplicity, boldness is more worthy than sophistication. We are never too old to learn new things, even about ourselves.
@@penelopepadmore3248 Congratulations, Penelope. One step further from worldly possessions - ten steps closer to spirituality. I wish I got to this conclusion when I was at your age...
This is so meaningful and sensible ❤ My Mormor is in a nursing home, and my Mum passed away a few weeks ago. My family are hoarders and Mum took so much of my Mormor’s stuff, as well as my Morfar’s who passed away 12 years ago. I am mainly responsible for my Mum’s stuff now and it has been SO overwhelming sorting through 3 peoples belongings by myself while grieving my Mum. I’m determined to never put my kids/family in this position. Thank you for making this video, love from Australia x
Thank you so much ❤ That must be so hard! I had to grow though my Mum's stuff as well, and when my Mormor died, I was in New Zealand - so way too far away to get to help the rest of my family. It's so emotionally overwhelming!
Can the redcross come and pick it all up? Like give away everything except a few personal belongings that reminds u of them.. and some photoalbum and tell the redcross or the salvation army (Myrorna) to pick it all up?
@@DrErnst The thing is: personal stuff you'd like to keep, donation-worthy stuff and things that just belong in the trash are so mixed together that it takes ages sorting them apart. You wouldn't want to lose a valuable family heirloom or that very private letters end up in the fleamarket for anyone to read, maybe even by people who the dead person used to know. It's not that easy. Just preparing things to get picked up is a whole process.
I love this approach. And your grandfather..... I see where your good looks come from. Thank you for the authentic information. I am 64 years old and I have done some of this death cleaning, unwittingly, with a conflicted state of mind. Now that i have this lovely concept in mind, this will be a meditation rather than a conflicted method of minimalism. Thank you again.
I'm Swedish too and I like the Swedish Death Cleaning. I'm over 50 so I've started a long time ago. Begun with minimalism in 2016. I don't wanna leave my kids loads of stuff they don't want. That's the situation I'm in right now myself with very old parents. Parents with so much stuff that I get a headache just thinking about it when they die. I love my parents a lot, but the amount of furniture, kitchen stuff etc, it's unbelievable how much they've kept! They don't even use it! Only like one tenth of it. Great video! Greetings from your home country :)
Thank you for commenting! 🥰🇸🇪 I completely understand that. It is also a shame because a lot of it might be used by others and could hopefully stop other people from buying new stuff. Maybe you’ll have to get them the death cleaning book for Christmas 😅
@@SagaJohanna I wish! My parents are very old and my dad is bedridden. However, my mom actually started decluttering her clothes. I sold them and some I donated. Heard of Sellpy? I use them a lot. 🙂😄💗
I love this idea and have been a minimalist most of my adult life, mostly by choice. For a few decades, everything that I own fits into a four-door sedan. My entire life and possessions fit basically into the trunk, backseat, floor and a little in the front seat of a Honda Accord. My in-laws were the exact opposite, there should be a word for leaving behind an entire house full of about 80% garbage. There is hoarding but this wasn't quite that bad, they managed to only reach the 3-foot waterline. They hadn't gotten to the boxes to the ceiling stage yet. They also managed to leave anything valuable mixed in with the garbage and randomly located. It was a time-consuming, expensive and nightmare project. There were maybe a dozen trips to either the dump, or the local church. There was a yardsale, many donations to neighbors and family. it was pretty taxing on our marriage as well. If it had been my parents I would've seriously considered basically torching the place, yes it was that bad.
Thank you for this video and the several others that I have watched. I'm now a new subscriber 💖One day I was going through a cupboard and took everything out, dusted it and looked at everything before I put things back. I had a large amount of Tibetan Buddhist items, like bells, drums, dorje etc, that I use to use when I was studying Tibetan Buddhism meditation. Then I had the thought that when I die someone will just throw these things in the trash, not knowing what to do with them. 🌺 So I gathered all the items around the apt and called Tibetan retreat centers to see if they would be interested in having any of them. YES! I sent several boxes to of my Tibetan things to them and it felt good to find a new home for them NOW. Since then I have gone through my place several times attempting to declutter whatever I can. A work in progress. I went to visit my mom on day (she has since past) and found her place a little more empty than before. She said she had donated many things so I wouldn't had as big a job! She also gave me papers from a funeral home, where she arranged and paid for the entire thing. She told me to take now whatever I wanted. Several years later, when she past, I was very grateful that she arranged everything because I was alone and don't know how I would have been able to do it. Namaste 💞💫💖
Very cool. Thanks for sharing. When I moved from Ohio to Florida I got rid of most of my stuff. Somehow I ended up with more stuff after me 4 years here than I truly need 😅
A friend told me many times that she sold everything she had every time she traveled which was a lot at the time, and always thought that it was just "a matter of speech" and expression, The last time I saw her said to me that she was happy that now she would buy a bed and give back the jeans and T-shirt she wore to her sister, then I understood she was being literal all those years. She seemed very happy all the time.
I am slowly and happily doing death cleaning but am married to someone who doesn't want to part with anything. He's 88 and still has his university notes 😊
I started years ago after reading about it. To not to leave a mess for others to clean up, is a wonderful concept. If they love you, they are sure to feel guilty and, maybe heartbroken, at having to throw away things that belonged to you. Ask them ahead to pick what they would like to keep when I am gone. I did. I know where the dining room set and china/silverwere, and the photo albums are going. But I still have too much stuff! Things, big and small, that I do not regularly use but are hard to let go of because they represent money spent! Arrrh! Then, there are the books I have not opened in years, but which represent the joy I had reading them. Just looking at them gives me pleasure. My jewelry is not valuable and most look too much out of fashion to be of interest to the younger set---plus my contemporaries have their own to deal with. Why are we such pack rats? It is embarrassing.
After they’re gone, my in-laws fully expect us to move into their 6 bedroom house and keep all of their things. They won’t get rid of anything, and they’re both in their 80s and not in the best of health. I feel overwhelmed whenever we visit, which is several times a week, since we live a few miles from them. They have so much stuff. I, on the other hand, have been going through my house, room by room, and purging bags and bags of things. I do a purge every few months, to find more things we don’t use or need or want.
All of this is so true. I started a few months back as I approached retirement…and it’s still in full swing. I even have my wife doing it. I really like the thought of “impermanence.” I felt that way too, but didn’t assign this word to it. It’s a liberating feeling and way to live going forward. 😊
My sister and I actually asked my father to start with SDC before his death (he was terminally ill), we also asked him to make a list of all his items and put a name against each who should get the items to prevent fighting over items afterwards. Worked really well.
Oh wow, that is such a good idea! I love it, because I think at first people would think it was too confronting, but actually, it creates less friction in a family which is what we all want
Interesting. My mum's minimal and is definitely managing her life into its end. It's strange for me when i hear she's had decided that the family history she worked on for twenty years plus wouldn't be interesting for her children and has thrown it out, but maybe it's better this way than me having to make that decision while grieving. She aims to leave no admin and no obligations behind her, except for where to take her ashes.
I was in my 20s when my sister and I buried our mum and had to trawl through her very messy home. It's traumatic. If people are mindful of the notion that 'whatever you buy ends up in the landfill' then maybe, each purchase will be considered, and you'll save yourself money in the long run
SagaJohanna enjoyed your narrative. I took notes. Two points for me: 1. impermanence-the fallacy of even thinking we'll be here 4ever to 'enjoy', 'partake', 'consume' the goods of the planet & 2. to not have anything in storage. Ugh..my Dad died 12 years ago and I still have his stuff-mainly books in storage. I've paid for those items 10 x's over. As a mature U.S. citizen, I'm starting to death Swedish clean. It's melancholy but freeing. The changing of a paradigm. Thank U for the video. Shalom.
Thank you so much! Yes, those two are very important points. I got rid of my mom's stuff about 1 year after she died. I have only kept the photo albums, because it's so difficult to go through and hold on to... I absolutely feel the melancholy too, I try to do it step by step and stop before I am crying ;)
@@SagaJohanna yes but sometimes those tears help heal the heart and spirit. It's all three love and memories you shared spilling out in liquid form. Hopefully there are smiles amongst the tears. Hugs.
I’ve been doing this and I’m feeling really good about it. My husband and I had a lot of love letters that we had written to each other over the years - while some were sweet - some are not for our kids to read. I feel good knowing my kids will have less to declutter.
I can't start with clothing as these are the hardest for me to part with. I also think clothes will the easiest for others to get rid of after I'm gone as they are easy to bag up and dispose of.
Hej! I read the book in Swedish (because I'm Norwegian), and it's so interesting because though our cultures are so similar in so many ways, this isn't. I'm myself is a minimalist. One point of this process I've experienced while going through houses of a past family members is that the descendants seem to cling to the objects, because they put to much meaning into it, more than maybe the former owner did. And therefore becomes a burden, they can't declutter almost anything. And it's not easy in a state of grief. Just a little reflection.
Hei! Yes, it really is. My mom was Norwegian so I grew up with both cultures ☺️ And such a good point you’re making. When my grandmother died it was exactly like this. My uncles were all so attached to the stuff that nothing is being cleared out but nothing is being dealt with. Creating a lot of unnecessary burden! I think it’s important to remember that things of a loved one can not bring them back. And maybe going through it is a good way to process grief too! 🥰
@@SagaJohanna This is so true. I have a box of my Grandfathers things from 5 years ago I still haven't gone through... a box of my ex-husbands (who passed away 5 years ago as well) and my Grandmother just passed. There is a storage locker of stuff to go through... These things can overcome your mind if not dealt with. Thank the items and let them go. They will not bring back your loved one, they live in your memories :) I have some purging to do apparently! Also makes me very aware of what I will leave behind for my kids one day.
@@SagaJohanna My family is Swedish, but we also had this problem when my mother died. So much of her things are still in storage, twelve years later. I wouldn't mind going through those things, too, but it seems like there's no interest in it. Someone in the family is still clinging to the last things. Grief - it sucks.
Thank you for this explanation of Swedish Death Cleaning in a nutshell. I enjoyed listening to you pronounce the author's name. And the words in Swedish for paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, maternal aunts & uncles, paternal aunts & uncles, nephews and nieces make so much sense.😊
I became minimalist in 2014 and extreme minimalist in 2017. I have a tiny number of 'beautiful, non-essential' items. The rest are essentials, always of quality. But this isn't for everyone. I think Swedish death cleaning could provide a good inspiration to people who haven't adopted as counter-cultural life as I have as an extreme minimalist. What resonated most in what you said was about understanding the importance of impermanence. This was the key to allowing me to move through a minimalist journey. It started off as an intuitive recognition that chasing after stuff (the hedonic treadmill) didn't make me happy, then to realising things about my personality (that a calm uncluttered space lead to a calm mind), then to an extreme minimalism where I do not feel attachment to even the things that I appreciate in my environment now.
Yes I agree. And for me impermanence is a really important reminder or motivation that helps me to stay on track even when I get lost in the allure of marketing or wanting something to make me feel better. :)
Hi there! I always do this type of cleaning - although sometimes I even get rid of things that I later come to regret 🤨. But I loved learning about this cultural practice, I totally believe that it makes our lives lighter and happier, and also makes it much easier for our loved ones when we pass away. I've seen some relatives having to deal with their late loved ones' belongings, and that can double the pain of their loss. For me, sometimes we are so attached to things that not only get in the way of our lives, and also make us forget what really matters. Thank you so much for the heads up 🥰!
Thank you for sharing this video! I unfortunately experienced the process of going through my husband's things when he died unexpectedly. It definitely compounds the grieving process. The sadness my children and I experienced was enough. Then we decided to move to be closer to family and going through so much stuff added to the stress. Luckily, I had the help of loved ones to get through it, but it taught me so much about what I want to leave behind.
I used to be a minimalist, then I got into collecting action figures a couple years ago. Now my apartment is stuffed and cluttered. I miss the old ways, but don't want to stop now because it feels like something I have to finish. It started after I quit drinking and smoking though, so it is another addiction.
Good video. I am 1/4 swedish; my grandmother emigrated as a young girl. I just turned 71 and have been thinking about ridding myself of a lot of stuff I do not need, use or even look at. I am going to be busy figuring out who could want or use some of my many tools. 11 years ago I helped clean up my parents estate. It was a chore for sure. When us kids were trying to decide how it should be done fairly, I stumbled upon an article that I felt was a non conflicting way to do the division. First off is there anything that your parents specifically said should be yours (be sure you/they put in writing and get it to the trustee(s)). When you get together with your siblings to divide the items, ask if there is a particular item that one person really wants have them speak up and if all agree then they get that one item. (i wanted my mothers angel food cake knife as it brought and still does bring back good memories when I use it.) The easiest method to divide items is: 1. get a deck of playing cards, take out the jokers and Aces are high. 2. get a large cake pan. Place the cards in the pan and spread them out. 3. Ask who is in the draw for a particular item. 4. everyone that is 'in', draws a card. 5. The person with the highest card wins the item. 6.There is no re-drawing; you can trade items if you are both in agreement. 7. Shuffle the cards and spread them out for the next round. Then we had a day just for the grandkids to have a division day. What is left over is up to the executors to decide what to do with it. My oldest sister and I were the primary executors and handled all the financial issues. I used a series of spreadsheets to make it all work out down to the last pennies since cash, Tax free bonds, and real estate was involved. The Trust lawyer helped us through a couple sticky issues with the IRS. Good luck to all of you that want to start your Swedish death cleaning! Make sure you have a will or better yet a revocable living trust which has a will in it and don't forget your medical advance directives. Probate on just a will will cost your heirs more than the cost of creating a trust and then there is no probate court at least in my state.
I am Swedish and perhaps intuitively have been engaged in a process of dödsständning (did I get it right?). It's been very enlivening to give away stuff, of course beginning with stuff that doesn't have an emotional attachment and moving onto discovering that emotional attachments are very easy to dissolve because the accompanying lightness is so satisfying.
Love this explanation. I've already begun, and I like the reminder that there is no end to the process--you just work on having less and less, and not accumulating more and more.
I read the the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death cleaning not long after my mother-in-law passed away and we had to deal with all her stuff. It was truly overwhelming dealing with everything she had. I determined to clear out all my stuff except what I truly need so my family wouldn't have to deal with it when I'm gone. I really miss how easy it was to clean my house when I was newly married and didn't have excess things in our home, so I am trying to get back to that, and hope my husband will eventually join me in doing the same with his stuff. Thank you so much for your encouraging videos.
Thank you so much 🥰 I feel the exact same way! Another fun motivator for us is the money and joy that comes from selling and giving! It can be another great motivator to help someone get onboard with minimalism!
There is no heavier burden after dealing with the death of a loved one (my Grandmother, then my Dad four months later) then to go through TONS of stuff they left behind. My Mom, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin and myself pitched in to remove all my Grandmother’s things and furniture from the home she’d lived in since 1971; it took several days, lots of boxes and trash bags, then there was the shed out back (also quite loaded; Granddad died in 1994, left behind tools, etc.) But I had to deal with emptying Dad’s apartment out alone, just a week after sprucing and cleaning it up in the idea he’d return to a more comfortable, neater, insect-free place. Six months later, the storage shed I’d rented for his things (from the house he’d been renting before his cancer; the apartment was too small for several furniture items) nearly two years before he died was STILL HALF FULL (20’ by 20’) despite several full-load hauls in my truck to the refuse containers at my place. Paid $500 to a great company to empty that storage spot ($225/mo) finally. What a relief to finally sit and grieve, but COVID-19 was in pre-vax days, work was awful and my head still was in a bad place. You can do your loved ones no greater service than to GET RID OF USELESS JUNK, now! Wills are important, but in-fighting over sentimental clutter and removing piles and piles of clothes, glassware, cumbersome pieces, you name it…does NOT have to happen. Simplify now, and you’ll feel the benefits. A great and lasting weightlifting, truly.
A really nice video. Clear and to the point. My favourite part was when you said it gave you a reason to phone your grandad who couldn’t understand at all why people would be interested in Swedish death cleaning. 😅
I’m of Hungarian lineage and my whole Family back in the 1980s did this! I could not understand because I was in my 20’s and all the gifts I gave my family were donated. Thanks Grandma! I had no heirloom from my grandmother because she sold everything! Nothing to remember her by.
That’s so fascinating! Haha I can’t believe the gifts were donated! I don’t have many heirlooms either. Just one necklace from my mom’s side. Living abroad makes it hard to keep furniture and other bigger items.
That's sad you ended up with nothing :( It's nice to have something even if we don't "need" it. I'm grateful my Grandma let me go through her jewelry box and let me pick out what I wanted while she was downsizing. That's all I actually have of her now and a couple necklaces and earrings don't take up much space. They were nothing expensive either, I just liked them.
Sadly attachments be they real or imagined, make it extremely difficult to let go of even the most basic item, but if you take the time to write down your memories along with any photos, you can share your stories with your children and grandchildren and it can be a Legacy you leave behind. ❤
I‘m 48 and startet Swedish Death Cleaning two years ago. My house is not that of a minimalist, because I have a lot of animals, that need spaces to sleep and toys to play on, but i now have only things in my life that serve a purpose and sparkle joy to my live. A few weeks ago my dad passed and left me a house full of clutter from him and my mom, that went to heaven 12 years ago. I don‘t know how to manage to get rid of such a burden although I have two years experience of it, but this is a complete other number. I don’t ever want to be such a burden on someone with my things, so I will go on Swedish Death Cleaning as long as it is possible for me 🙏.
That sounds amazing, and I'm happy to hear that your animals have lots of space. I think animals need a lot of stimulation, and it brings you and them joy! So it's perfect. :) Cleaning out after your dad's deaths sounds difficult. My advise would be to do really small tasks (that you know you can complete), if you have the possibility to let it take some time
Ok, so I found this video a year after you posted it and I am impressed! In the US we like to have yearly "spring cleaning" sales to reduce personal items, but often these do not happen, so clutter builds up and up. Owning excessively large houses does not help as most Americans have more space than what they really need. I think that I will start this and hopefully not leave a mess when I do finally leave this earth.
I think we can show love, caring and respect when we relieve our loved ones from going through these hard tasks by doing them ourselves before we die (it is the responsible thing to do, so the Swedes have it right!!)
Oh dear God. Mom has a shopping addiction and is a hoarder. She constantly buys out sale items and to be fair she is generous in gifting things out if she can only remember where she stored them. The house in which myself and my eight siblings were raised is quite large, and it is practically stuffed with all these things, even stuff that others simply didn't have room for which she offered to store for them. Mom seems to find any empty spot or space unsettling, and must go buy or acquire somthing to fill it. Most of my siblings no longer visit, as there is no room even to set so much as a cup of tea, without knocking something over. and it is like a cave, witn even the windows shelved and used as storage. Mom has also turned the house into a fire trap as all stairways and exits are blocked or at least mostly obstructed with piles of stuff she has collected over many decades. It is truly unsettling to be in "our" family home. What she calls a "guest room" is a vast closet stacked very close and high with furniture and all manner of stuff, and a bed. It is not a pleasant room in which to awaken, nor is any other room in that house, anymore. I can't really see what's right in front of me, there's too much clutter for my brain to process... this is so far from any normal level of accumulation, it is, I feel, a kind of insanity... thank God she is not a "cat lady" with hundreds of cats to deal with, Attitude of gratitude...sometimes I think we might just burn it down some foggy night, and walk away.. It is all so tainted. No one really wants to keep reminders of her hoarding, as if they had the room for them anyway, they do not. I can only offer as proof that half of what Mom has hoarded, are storage and organization items, such as bags, boxes, bins, baskets, barrows, in such quanitities that it will take years to go through them all, and sadly, they will have to be gone through, as so many sentimental and beautiful things are mixed in among the "as seen on TV" sale items and kitsch, and all this will probably have to wait until she is in a home, since she is inclined to add more than she discards, at all times and she has told my siblings that we can just pay someone to throw it all away when she has passed on. Interestingly, she is half swedish (or perhaps Danish, but, so what). But I know, it is a disease. Mom spends money on buying things that she already has because there is no hope of finding them again when she needs them. I esteimate 50 cubic yards (cubic meters?) )not including the many antique and sentimental items the family may wish to rescue. This is items from furniture all the way down to sewing kits and thimbles... tens of thousands of items, very few without some possible value to someone, that will have to just go, so that the house can be sold. An estate sale every weekend for a year... It's just so crazy, I am myself trying to gently winnow my own several decades worth of accumulation, but I have already gone through and dealt with the easy stuff, now it is down to large and useful items as well as many small and sentimental ones, few of which are easy to just let go, but I don't want my sibling to have to spend more than one weekend (Ok maybe two) dealing with my stuff. And I'm only Sixty. I'm trying to get aj ump on things.. Mom is 86 now so there clearly is no chance at all of her getting clean while still alive and healthy, and we will have to find a way to get though it all. Oh dear me...Thanks for letting me vent. I have never shared this elephant sized sorrow and dread outside my family. It's too much for words to tell.
At 86, are there things you could sneak out of the house to go through? My friend tried to talk her mother into taking the many many stacks of magazines to a storage unit because she might need a recipe out of one of them and I said even though I don't agree with lying tell her you're taking there and tells them. But now they had eight trucks moved 700 mi away and put into six storage unit and little by little she's gone through it while her mother is in a assisted living place. She'll never see that stuff though she'll mention something once in awhile. They've had to go through every one of hundreds and hundreds of books because there've been important life documents, money, pictures stuffed in them! They are down to three storage units now! Good luck!
Hoarding is a mental disorder that is triggered by a trauma. It used to be a part of OCD but has acquired its own disorder in the new DSMI-5. There are now support groups and therapists that specialize in this mental disorder. You can also get information from your library, social services that have information on this common disorder as well as watch documentaries on this disorder. The British ones are very good because they are compassionate with the hoarder and actually treat them unlike the aggressive and re-traumatizing American documentaries. Get some support around this burden. Throwing your mom’s stuff away will only make her stop trusting you. These programs will explain better than I can. Also hoarding tends to run in families. Good luck!❤
Here it is! Thank you! Stop reaching for someone else's definition of minimalism! Create your own journey by embracing many different concepts. Don't put your self in a box with the "limitations" of minimalistic dictates. Take what you want and leave the rest, Don't "pigeon hole" yourself! You got lady you are brilliant! From Ohio.
_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Gautama Buddha Johanna, death cleaning or not, your Standard American English (SAE) is excellent. SAE is the most understood and most important language in the world today. 💕☮🌎🌌
Thank you for being the one person who makes the effort to correctly pronounce Margareta’s name. There are many reviewers who post their reviews without even trying to get it right, or even apologetically joke that they “hope they’re saying it right” while they are mangling it. It’s not much of a tribute to such a wonderful little book if you botch up the author’s name! Best wishes, nice review!
Thank you and I loved the video. I am currently going through a huge clean of all my stuff. I think we all have certain collecting habits like books, jackets and hats. I am trying after the initial sort out to really pare things down. I find it fun, cathartic and it really makes you value what is left. I love both the design and functionality of certain things that I have kept which I took for granted before. It's a good thing to do.
This is an idea that we all should embrace early. I an 64 and have started this clean up and my kids will have much less to deal with. Thank you for this video.
I absolutely ❤ this concept! It took me 2 years but it's done. I now live with minimal things that I love. It will be a breeze for my children (when my time comes) to deal with what is left.
When my uncle passed he had a ton of junk that eventually got pushed to my house, My GF grandfather passed and his entire house came to my house so now i have 2 1/2 house full of stuff. I am purging and just started the death cleaning method, its a good feeling getting rid of crap i really don't need.
I surely do wish my packrat father had done this years ago. He passed away about 6 weeks ago, and we've been cleaning out his house ever since. My big vice is buying books, and it would be hard to give any of them away, but I know my daughter will not be interested at all in the subjects I read, so I should face it and give some away.
I love this, you are the perfect person to make this video! I also like the concept of taking responsibility and not leaving your clutter or delayed decisions to burden loved ones. I have also been trying to think of where an item I buy will end up after used, hopefully to slow down my consumption. Almost all my belongings will long outlive me, so will have to go someplace when I can no longer use them.
This may be my favorite video about Swedish Death Cleaning. Better than the Americans who make videos about it. Yours made it more sentimental and understandable as to why one should do it. Responsibility is key!
Going to estate sales was something that greatly influenced our move toward minimalism. Seeing so much useless junk being sold to strangers in a house where someone used to live was so sad. We say all the time that we don’t want a bunch of junk to be sold at our estate sale.
I remember about forty years ago a young Swedish woman commenting on my flat, about the amount of stuff we have in England. I think the average Swede would be traumatized by visiting me today, I am just sad that I have run out of wall space and furniture to put things on: Pictures, photos, ceramics, anything of interest to me, tech stuff, books etc etc. My daughter knows that when I pass, it will be her responsibility to deal with it. She will probably do a car boot sale so that someone else can clutter their house, and no doubt keep some stuff to clutter hers and my Sons. I think it is in the soil as I do not have a drop of English blood in my body, but born in London and now seventy I am thoroughly English, Eccentric Sans the arrogance. But as I say it is definitely in the soil, the place defines us, not the other way around.
I have already started this without even realizing it is"death" cleaning. Thank you so much for this encouraging and enlightening video. Unfortunately my parents generation did not get the memo on this.
They expected their stuff to become family heirlooms as well as saving their kids money. They believed that their adult children would use their parents furniture, dishes, etc, in their own homes, which is one reason that they collected so much, because most parents had more than one child and didn’t want fighting among them. Also even the books I read as a child had kids going into their grandparents attics and finding many kinds of family treasures such as old photo albums, letters and even heirlooms that were brought to the New World by great-grandparents when they immigrated from the Old Country. It was expected that these items would be passed down through the generations. Expectations were very different back then.
Excellent and to the point. I’m older and doing this now so my kids won’t have too. The benefit is I feel free and light from old life and am curious of what I could add new to my life now. I learned a lot from other site Life Tidy too. Thank you ❤
Thank you. I'm so happy for you. That sounds wonderful. I think so small differences in our life really matter. Not giving up or "chucking in the towel," also tends to make us much nicer people to be around. I'm excited for your new life and who you might soon become 😄 I'll take a look at Life Tidy too thank you!
I have read the book and just loved it! I’ve been decluttering so much the past year! Not so much because of the book, but just need to rid myself of the junk! I love the word “minimalism” and the concept behind it! It’s helping me now through life and I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t need that stuff anymore! Great video!
I recently moved to Omaha and noticed two of my neighbors were inviting their friends and let them take whatever they wanted from the household items they spread out on their front yard earlier in the day. Thanks to your video now I know what they were doing. It’s a beautiful custom!
I really appreciate hearing your explanation and description of this concept...I had heard of it, but not looked into it further until now. I am approaching 50, and I definitely want to read the book, and start the thoughtufl process...it really sounds like a great tool to practice Living - better. Thank you for your insights and this video!
2 years ago my sister who was living in abother coutry died. There was a lot of formalities and stuff that had to he taken care of. Because of it, i moved to another country which forced me to get ridge of 95% of my own belongings. It's 2 years later and i still have 2 basements full of her belongings.
I retired one year ago and I have been giving things to family, friends and taking items to hospice and the kidney foundation thrift stores. My great grandparents were Swedish, so it must be in my blood I’d never heard of Death Cleaning before. It just seemed like the sensible thing to do so that I wouldn’t burden my children. Thank you for the video ❤
Very good notion. My wife and I (neither of Swedish heritage) are in our fifties and have many boxes of possessions from her grandparents and parents still with us years after the last one passed away.
Hi there, I really am interesting on this subject. I have suscribed to your channel due to clear way of speaking. I am learning english and your voice sounds very clear for me. And another reason to suscribe to your channel is because you seems too much kind. Take this video. You have answered to some of the coments.
With most families (especially my own!!) it's more like "They're Dead,Grab what you can!!!' Never mind the will,never mind what your wishes are,never even mind what you've told a person what you want them to have. It's like a Bum Rush or Looting Attack on your Estate. One of my sisters actually showed up to the funeral home when my mother passed with her older sons....and a U-Haul!!! Couldn't even wait until she was in the ground to start grabbing up stuff!!!! (And she's still mad at me 20 yrs later for stopping them!)
I started giving my real sterling silverware (I was in the business) to my sons and my good gold jewelry to my son's wives several years ago. I still have plenty left, but I wanted to be sure that they had something valuable from me. If my brother or my sister show up to start grabbing stuff, I swear I'll haunt them. They aren't interested in me alive, so they can stay away when I'm dead.
Oh my! That sounds exactly like my family after my grammy died 5 years ago...her wishes were not honored at all, and her son basically stole everything financially in her estate (several million) with the help of his lawyers and a good shredder (to get rid of the documentation) and my sister and mother took things my grandmother specifically told them they could not have when she was gone. My gram always said she felt closest to me, and we spent a ton of time together and I was the person with her on her very last day (I was to get 50% of her estate). I was left with very little and the people she didn't want to have money and things took it all. This could have been avoided if she had just given all her beneficiaries a copy of her trust and will, but her son and lawyer talked her out of that saying they would make sure everyone got what she wanted them to have.... they lied! Crooks and thieves, they are! So please in addition to SDC please make sure the beneficiaries of your estate have a copy of your trust and will and if possible, have a family meeting also so everyone knows exactly who gets what when the time comes that the loved one passes. This alone would save a huge amount of heartache, drama, and stress!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure." This is the phrase we use in the US to describe something we may give to someone who loves something we don't want.
thank you you put a very good context and understanding of swedish death cleaning-and yes of course we should always clean and declutter and not just be a slug and I think he framed it well in the thought of impermanence and to add one more thing do we need to grow oldest with every thing of our things surrounding us-
Gee whiz! I look around my house and all the clutter and I’m like “I need all this”. I’d love show house where I just have surfaces but if I go mad and throw a lot of my stuff which I think people won’t want like my old microwave.. who what’s something with smell of old heated op food urgh.. I’ll be left with not much and knowing me will purchase all new )any excuse!). Idk how to start as I think all my clutter is useful 😞 I have a small house so need to death clean! Any advice appreciated.
Just my experience... Have you tried the "to be discarded by date" box? You can put stuff that you think it is useful in a box, label it with an expiration date and set it aside (list all the items inside if possible). If you do not open it in the meantime, just take it out to a donation place. The expiration date can be any time you think it's ok, even 5 years. The boxes are also stackable and occupy a different volume than scattered objects. Other ways are: - just grab trash, any broken stuff, expired, too dirty to clean etc to landfill or recycle. - donate any triplicates that you have (you still have 2 copies of it). - keep only one of the stuff that costs less than a certain amount of money, or if a thing is very common. For example, socks. - fix what bugs you, sort and declutter what is more nagging at you every day, then do the rest - learn from the 3s: sweep, sort, standardize - ask yourself if you keep all of the stuff to be secure and safe and what can you do to feel safe and secure in other ways You can also start with things that are less emotionally heavy for you. For me personally, I start decluttering, sorting and organizing my bathroom stuff, because for me it's easier. I can't do sentimental items easily, it's very distressful. But to be in the place I am now it took me years to giveyou grace and be patient. It is a muscle to exercise, so progress is much more useful (declutter in small passes on small inobtrusive items it's easier and less challenging) Going for perfection or doing all at once is very stressfull, and then we quit immediately. Keep it up. I hope it helps.
This is so brilliant. The exact opposite of the hoarding practice that consumes the lives of so many Americans. I know several people who have 2 or 3 storage units in which they store all sorts of things they never use. A needless expense and waste of time.
About 3 years ago I was cleaning the apartment after my late mother-in-law. We did it in 3 people and there was so much work and it took so much time... I wouldn't want anyone to have to do this with my things after my death. Also, 99% of these things were not needed by anyone. We only left a few souvenirs that we gave to several people. The mother-in-law gave away some presents at the end of her life things that were important to her and left the rest to us. There were literally a few of her gifts and these were really important things for her, and those that were thousands counting the whole apartment and lots of clothes. We gave them to the poor and in various shelters, we tried to waste as little as possible and there were still many bags of 120l of rubbish.
That's been my type of experience too. They don't realise how long it actually takes! Not everything is a treasure, the whole experience isn't a gift necessarily 😮💨
I'm 46 years old and I know I will live a long life. But starting this year, I will no longer buy things. I will just keep using what I already have... so when they're broken or worn out, I can just throw them out. Hopefully, by the time I'm ready to retire, I'll be down to the bare essentials.
I come by it naturally. My 100% Swedish father taught me this as a child when his father, my grandfather passed away. I love no having no stuff to store. Very freeing!!!
8. We have a really similar phrase in English, not sure if it's exactly like yours in Swedish, but it's "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I like "burden" though
Of course, keeping clutter down is going to make our lives happier and prevent leaving chores for others. However, I never for a moment felt it was a burden, spending time with my mother and sisters going thru my grandmother's belongings when she passed. We shared memories, laughed, cried, and sang as we each claimed a few keepsakes and boxed up the rest to donate. It can be a sweet way to grieve together. ❤
This is a great perspective. I can see how for many people that can be a beautiful and gratifying way to grieve and process someone's passing.
Peace
I think it can be sweet when the amount of stuff that's left is manageable. When it's a huge hoard, it can be almost unbearable and very time consuming. We generally don't get much time off in the U.S., and it can be very hard to clean out other people's homes for months or years while simultaneously working 40-80 hrs/week and being caregivers to various members of the family, some of whom might be disabled and impoverished
I completed genuine death cleaning when I had terminal cancer. I thought I had three months, and I was already a minimalist, so I quickly gave away most of my stuff and got down to almost nothing left. Then, surprise, immunotherapy cured me, or at least put me in a long remission, for seven years so far. Now I'm a super-minimalist and I love living this way. And I love living. Sometimes I wonder where some particular thing I gave away went (for example my scuba gear) and I hunt everywhere for it, because I was on heavy morphine during the purge and I guess it got a little crazier than I remember. I also gave away a lot of my money, but maybe the resulting karma is what saved me, who knows.
UPDATE 1 year later I'm still fine and I still don't need any stuff! Good luck with your death cleaning. It's good for your life :)
Wow, that is a very inspiring story. I think the importance of minimalism is just what you say - that when it comes down to it, our stuff (not even our money) matters. Just our lives!
That's a wonderful story. Congratulations. BTW: Do you need a pasta pot?
snorky your alive as death never appeared on the list of who next but you've cleaned out the unimportant stuff you got a reprieve
You're very brave person to face the death. I lost my husband to cancer 9 months ago. We struggled 2 years with cancer. I was his primary caregiver. And it's very tough. I'm glad you made it. Wish you remission and long happy life.
What a wonderful journey of life you have briefly shared here. I am so glad you are still around to wonder if karma help you beat down the monster.
I first learned about this beautiful concept through a children's book "Old Pig". I had already started purging items but was recently diagnosed with cancer. I don't want to burden my family if treatments aren't successful. It is so true that leaving behind hoards of items is overwhelming for your loved ones. Losing both sets of Grandparents has taught me that. There is much wisdom to be learned from this Swedish tradition. The Holy Bible tells us not to store up treasures in Earth where thieves break in and moths destroy but to store up treasures in heaven. We should bless others while we are alive. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing this with the world.
I remember as a famous actress was once asked about the "big" before-Christmas cleaning/organization/how she does it, etc. She looked at the interviewer and replied, I am maintaining my abode all year long, so I really don't understand why the before-Christmas cleaning should be different.
That leads me to the interpretation that we should maintain our belongings all the time like this is our last day on this earth, and then we will not need any special before-death cleaning, lol.
But since most of us are not like the famous actress (who, of course, had some professional help for maintaining her house in a flawless condition), thanks to Margareta for the wise and inspirational book!
Haha Oh I love that!!! That is who I aspire to be, but I'm not so graceful yet :D
@@SagaJohanna Thank you🙂!
When Mum died last Christmas I made up my mind to downsize to a new house and that definitely meant decluttering. It’s almost 11 months now and I’m still working at it. I’ve sold or given to charity a lot of clothes and books and things I collected throughout my life. I find it’s an iterative process where I get rid of things and set aside possessions I want to keep. I then go back to those possessions a few months later and decide I don’t want to hang on to all / most of them after all. It’s a liberating feeling to thin out my life.
It's been 16 years and I'm still selling and donating some of my mum's stuff. She thought it was a gift (some of it was!) but even the stuff that sold for a good amount, selling it is a burden! It's so stressful! This makes a lot of sense... I'm trying to find a way to give the book to my dad without him freaking out 😅
Wow, that’s a long time. And a long time having to process grief very often. I can understand how it is a burden. ❤️
oooh, your last sentence got me ! 🤣🤣🤣
Oh dear. I've been working on my mom's stuff for 5 years. I hope I don't have 11 years to go! Although I've met people who have had multiple estate sales & still have stuff to get rid of from their parents.
Wow. I told my son that when I die, he can chuck the whole lot of it in a dumpster if he wants. I told him not to dump the real sterling silverware or my gold jewelry, though! But I told him that although I enjoy having my stuff, I don't expect anyone else to.
😮It's really hard though. I find memories in everything.
My mum gave a lot away when she was still able. I asked her why she would do that and her answer was exactly this, to see the joy it would bring to someone. The expression she used to describe the practice was "From warm hands." Which really emphasises the intent of a kind hart.
She sounds so lovely!
@@SagaJohanna Thx. :) She did her best and then a little more. The other side of the practise is that she could make sure that the right belongings ended up with the right person, to make sure no fighting would occur over who would get what after her death.
I am doing this exact thing with those things that I do not use myself anymore but are in some way sentimental and family related. And there is always one or two of my children who wants them and it makes me happy that they can get them now instead of me having to carry them around until I die. I've also been decluttering for quite a few years so our children will not be overwelmed when we are gone (we are only 63 so hopefully that won't be for quite some time 😊).
I am 68 years of age and for several years have been decluttering slowly. In the past 4 years I have given away approximately 100 books, movies etc., also I went through my paperwork and threw away what was no longer wanted or needed. Same with clothes, donated items that no longer fit or I just didn't want them anymore. It feels good to let go of unwanted 'stuff'. I'm starting another cleanse/ declutter today.
That's amazing!
When My Mother died 3 years ago, we had to clean stuff from a giant house. I promised myself on behalf of my kids it would not happens when I died. So I started SDC before I knew the concept. I'm Danish by the way 😊
That’s so cool! My cousins are Danish too 😍
Never heard of this. But I’ve already started cleaning up and parting with things. I’m 75 and I’m not going to need it in a hole in the ground or as a pile of ash. If I can help someone out or make them happy I don’t mind doing it. Thanks for the video. Good call.
Thank you !
I have been a hoarder for my entire life and after seeing one episode of the Sewdish Death Cleaning show, I am determined to clean up my life. It makes so much sense-I want to use what I have and throw out what I don’t need so I can really enjoy my life! Starting now!
This is a really great goal and I wish you luck with it. How are you getting on so far?
Congratulations, this is awesome!
I've been a hoarder my entire life, too. Still, I have good intentions not to leave all my junk for others to deal with. I did tell them I'll leave enough in my estate for them to pay for junk haulers. Mine is 75% clothes and 25% papers. I don't have anywhere near as much emotional attachment to papers, so I will work on scanning and tossing them first. Clothes is a huge problem - I have entire wardrobes sizes 8 through 8X - yes, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38 - the 8x is Chinese sizes for American 4X or 5X, which is the size I am now - but I know it's trauma weight, and I don't want to give up on the determination to fix my emotions which will likely reduce my weight.
@@flygirl2b give away all the clothes that don't fit you. If you lose weight later, you can always buy new or second hand to trest yourself.
I tried on every piece of clothing I own and gave away everything that didn't fit now. I kept a few pieces that I liked the fabric and remade it into something else. Now I can find something to wear when I look in my cupboard.
@@nicolecarter1072 Thank you for sharing - inspiring!
When I heard of this concept the idea of getting rid of embarrassing items/belongings hit home. On the attic I had collected letters and notes from former boyfriends. I threw them out immediately as I figured it would be inappropriate for my husband to deal with it and really embarrassing for my son. His image of me is not compatible with that of being the love interest of to him unknown guys from my past.
Yes, I can imagine that being quite awkward, especially from our teenage our younger love's, where we might have thought we were destined to be together, only to break up a little while later :D
I'll admit, the history nerd in me is inconsolable even if your reasoning makes perfect sense. Old letters is a treasure for historians and they can end up making a researcher's paper possible 500 years later. Especially paper letters, since they are a lot more compatible with long term storage than our newfangled digital media that is already giving the archivists headaches 😅
Great video!
Good to get some perspective that breaks down the myths that have started among non-Swedes about this process.
I began this process at age 69, mainly because I live alone in a very tiny studio apartment. I didn't start for health reasons; I'm in fine health, don't need regular medication, and come from people who live well into their 90s.
One thing I would add to your discussion is about documents.
One of the hardest thing for those who survive you has to be the footprint you leave in the world. There are accounts to close down, assets to trace and retrieve, arrangements already in place, and of course behests to honor. Even if you haven't yet passed on, these things need management if you become ill or otherwise incapacitated.
Passwords, financial/insurance accounts, utilities, time-payments, memberships, subscriptions, social media accounts, asset maintenance, medical/legal authority, wills/trusts, etc. There's just so much that are invisible or overlooked in daily life, but when you start to list them is quite daunting. Think what it's like for someone just walking in to handle your affairs!
There are kits available, mainly workbooks or accordion files with a handbook, that will guide you in consolidating the information. A lot of it can be scanned and stored on a thumb drive, an external hard drive, or in a Cloud account. Or, get your will, living will, and power of attorney drawn out and leave the organized documents or Cloud access info with a trusted attorney. You could also leave this info in a bank's safe deposit box, which can be rented for between $15-$150/yr. Some banks even offer electronic safe deposit boxes for e-documents, but physical ones can also hold small valuables, like cash or jewelry or small items with only sentimental value.
-For those who are temporarily hospitalized, it would be great to be able to cancel or suspend subscriptions, like meal/food deliveries or other deliveries that would require someone present in the home to receive them.
-For those permanently handicapped, hospitalized, or incapacitated, it would be great to conserve resources and cancel or return items, subscriptions, or plans you will not be able to attend or physically/mentally handle, like cruises, exercise equipment, or ticketed social events.
-For those who are planning end-of-life, whether their time is close or they're just being generally prepared, it is a kindness to the executor (especially if a family member or a volunteer) and to those helping to wrap up that life's lose ends. Without that organization of the info, it can take months or years to shut it all down, and meanwhile it leaves a way for identity theft to dishonor the life lost and rob the dead of resources meant to go elsewhere.
This paperwork issue has always struck me as something we should all do (and periodically revisit), especially once we have kids.
My grandfather told me time and again over years that he wanted ME to inherit his home. But he didn't trust lawyers, so he died with no will. I was left with no right to anything. I was his first grandchild, visited him often (traveling 600 miles each way) with my daughter, I even sat with him the day before he passed away, gave the eulogy, and was a pallbearer. But the technical intricacies of inheritance left me with nothing.
This can happen if you don't prepare for the inevitable unforeseeable.
At least BEGIN the process of consolidating your info and how to access it: the websites, user IDs, passwords, pin numbers, security questions/answers, account numbers, addresses, phone numbers, expiration dates, serial numbers, etc. Maybe switch back from facial/fingerprint/motion recognition access to old-fashioned text-entry format.
A much neglected aspect Thanks for sharing !😊😊
This is so true! Having had to sort through these things for a deceased family member, I can confirm that it was one of the most complicated things to deal with. My 2024 resolution is to have all that paperwork sorted and gathered for easy access for my loved ones, were I to pass away this year.
Excellent way of thinking.
Hey hey! Guess what? I am not Swedish, I am Central European living in the US. Years ago when I had heart problems I started to rationalize my possessions, without even having a clue that I was doing "death cleaning". I had taken car loads of my possessions to the Goodwill, and presented other stuff to friends and neighbors. The experience was like flying in a hot air balloon, getting higher up by dropping all the extra load.
I still do that, and every item getting out of my house makes me happier, distancing myself from worldly possessions and the burden that you don't really own the junk, the junk owns you.
I think less of ownership is the path to more spirituality, and simplicity, boldness is more worthy than sophistication. We are never too old to learn new things, even about ourselves.
O
True!
So true about the junk owning you! I'm just at the beginning of my decluttering journey.
@@penelopepadmore3248 Congratulations, Penelope. One step further from worldly possessions - ten steps closer to spirituality. I wish I got to this conclusion when I was at your age...
I agree, it feels really good to 'lighten up'
This is so meaningful and sensible ❤
My Mormor is in a nursing home, and my Mum passed away a few weeks ago. My family are hoarders and Mum took so much of my Mormor’s stuff, as well as my Morfar’s who passed away 12 years ago. I am mainly responsible for my Mum’s stuff now and it has been SO overwhelming sorting through 3 peoples belongings by myself while grieving my Mum. I’m determined to never put my kids/family in this position. Thank you for making this video, love from Australia x
Thank you so much ❤ That must be so hard! I had to grow though my Mum's stuff as well, and when my Mormor died, I was in New Zealand - so way too far away to get to help the rest of my family. It's so emotionally overwhelming!
Can the redcross come and pick it all up? Like give away everything except a few personal belongings that reminds u of them.. and some photoalbum and tell the redcross or the salvation army (Myrorna) to pick it all up?
@@DrErnst The thing is: personal stuff you'd like to keep, donation-worthy stuff and things that just belong in the trash are so mixed together that it takes ages sorting them apart. You wouldn't want to lose a valuable family heirloom or that very private letters end up in the fleamarket for anyone to read, maybe even by people who the dead person used to know. It's not that easy. Just preparing things to get picked up is a whole process.
I love this approach. And your grandfather..... I see where your good looks come from. Thank you for the authentic information. I am 64 years old and I have done some of this death cleaning, unwittingly, with a conflicted state of mind. Now that i have this lovely concept in mind, this will be a meditation rather than a conflicted method of minimalism. Thank you again.
I'm Swedish too and I like the Swedish Death Cleaning. I'm over 50 so I've started a long time ago. Begun with minimalism in 2016. I don't wanna leave my kids loads of stuff they don't want. That's the situation I'm in right now myself with very old parents. Parents with so much stuff that I get a headache just thinking about it when they die. I love my parents a lot, but the amount of furniture, kitchen stuff etc, it's unbelievable how much they've kept! They don't even use it! Only like one tenth of it. Great video! Greetings from your home country :)
Thank you for commenting! 🥰🇸🇪
I completely understand that. It is also a shame because a lot of it might be used by others and could hopefully stop other people from buying new stuff. Maybe you’ll have to get them the death cleaning book for Christmas 😅
@@SagaJohanna I wish! My parents are very old and my dad is bedridden. However, my mom actually started decluttering her clothes. I sold them and some I donated. Heard of Sellpy? I use them a lot. 🙂😄💗
I love this idea and have been a minimalist most of my adult life, mostly by choice. For a few decades, everything that I own fits into a four-door sedan. My entire life and possessions fit basically into the trunk, backseat, floor and a little in the front seat of a Honda Accord. My in-laws were the exact opposite, there should be a word for leaving behind an entire house full of about 80% garbage. There is hoarding but this wasn't quite that bad, they managed to only reach the 3-foot waterline. They hadn't gotten to the boxes to the ceiling stage yet. They also managed to leave anything valuable mixed in with the garbage and randomly located. It was a time-consuming, expensive and nightmare project. There were maybe a dozen trips to either the dump, or the local church. There was a yardsale, many donations to neighbors and family. it was pretty taxing on our marriage as well. If it had been my parents I would've seriously considered basically torching the place, yes it was that bad.
Thank you for this video and the several others that I have watched. I'm now a new subscriber 💖One day I was going through a cupboard and took everything out, dusted it and looked at everything before I put things back. I had a large amount of Tibetan Buddhist items, like bells, drums, dorje etc, that I use to use when I was studying Tibetan Buddhism meditation. Then I had the thought that when I die someone will just throw these things in the trash, not knowing what to do with them. 🌺 So I gathered all the items around the apt and called Tibetan retreat centers to see if they would be interested in having any of them. YES! I sent several boxes to of my Tibetan things to them and it felt good to find a new home for them NOW. Since then I have gone through my place several times attempting to declutter whatever I can. A work in progress. I went to visit my mom on day (she has since past) and found her place a little more empty than before. She said she had donated many things so I wouldn't had as big a job! She also gave me papers from a funeral home, where she arranged and paid for the entire thing. She told me to take now whatever I wanted. Several years later, when she past, I was very grateful that she arranged everything because I was alone and don't know how I would have been able to do it. Namaste 💞💫💖
Thanks for sharing ! So thoughtful !😊😊
Very cool. Thanks for sharing. When I moved from Ohio to Florida I got rid of most of my stuff. Somehow I ended up with more stuff after me 4 years here than I truly need 😅
A friend told me many times that she sold everything she had every time she traveled which was a lot at the time, and always thought that it was just "a matter of speech" and expression, The last time I saw her said to me that she was happy that now she would buy a bed and give back the jeans and T-shirt she wore to her sister, then I understood she was being literal all those years. She seemed very happy all the time.
I am slowly and happily doing death cleaning but am married to someone who doesn't want to part with anything. He's 88 and still has his university notes 😊
I started years ago after reading about it. To not to leave a mess for others to clean up, is a wonderful concept. If they love you, they are sure to feel guilty and, maybe heartbroken, at having to throw away things that belonged to you. Ask them ahead to pick what they would like to keep when I am gone. I did. I know where the dining room set and china/silverwere, and the photo albums are going. But I still have too much stuff! Things, big and small, that I do not regularly use but are hard to let go of because they represent money spent! Arrrh! Then, there are the books I have not opened in years, but which represent the joy I had reading them. Just looking at them gives me pleasure. My jewelry is not valuable and most look too much out of fashion to be of interest to the younger set---plus my contemporaries have their own to deal with. Why are we such pack rats? It is embarrassing.
After they’re gone, my in-laws fully expect us to move into their 6 bedroom house and keep all of their things. They won’t get rid of anything, and they’re both in their 80s and not in the best of health. I feel overwhelmed whenever we visit, which is several times a week, since we live a few miles from them. They have so much stuff.
I, on the other hand, have been going through my house, room by room, and purging bags and bags of things. I do a purge every few months, to find more things we don’t use or need or want.
All of this is so true. I started a few months back as I approached retirement…and it’s still in full swing. I even have my wife doing it. I really like the thought of “impermanence.” I felt that way too, but didn’t assign this word to it. It’s a liberating feeling and way to live going forward. 😊
My sister and I actually asked my father to start with SDC before his death (he was terminally ill), we also asked him to make a list of all his items and put a name against each who should get the items to prevent fighting over items afterwards. Worked really well.
Oh wow, that is such a good idea! I love it, because I think at first people would think it was too confronting, but actually, it creates less friction in a family which is what we all want
Interesting. My mum's minimal and is definitely managing her life into its end. It's strange for me when i hear she's had decided that the family history she worked on for twenty years plus wouldn't be interesting for her children and has thrown it out, but maybe it's better this way than me having to make that decision while grieving. She aims to leave no admin and no obligations behind her, except for where to take her ashes.
I was in my 20s when my sister and I buried our mum and had to trawl through her very messy home. It's traumatic.
If people are mindful of the notion that 'whatever you buy ends up in the landfill' then maybe, each purchase will be considered, and you'll save yourself money in the long run
I was 18 when we did the same with my mother's possessions
SagaJohanna enjoyed your narrative. I took notes. Two points for me: 1. impermanence-the fallacy of even thinking we'll be here 4ever to 'enjoy', 'partake', 'consume' the goods of the planet & 2. to not have anything in storage. Ugh..my Dad died 12 years ago and I still have his stuff-mainly books in storage. I've paid for those items 10 x's over. As a mature U.S. citizen, I'm starting to death Swedish clean. It's melancholy but freeing. The changing of a paradigm. Thank U for the video. Shalom.
Thank you so much!
Yes, those two are very important points. I got rid of my mom's stuff about 1 year after she died. I have only kept the photo albums, because it's so difficult to go through and hold on to...
I absolutely feel the melancholy too, I try to do it step by step and stop before I am crying ;)
@@SagaJohanna yes but sometimes those tears help heal the heart and spirit. It's all three love and memories you shared spilling out in liquid form. Hopefully there are smiles amongst the tears. Hugs.
@@KCtheSUNSHINE 👍
I’ve been doing this and I’m feeling really good about it. My husband and I had a lot of love letters that we had written to each other over the years - while some were sweet - some are not for our kids to read. I feel good knowing my kids will have less to declutter.
That is so lovely to hear 😍 and fun for your kids to have the nice ones as memories of your love!
I love giving away my treasures to others who have less.❤
In UK one of the greatest death cleaning gifts I will give to my children is an empty loft!
Yes!! X
I can't start with clothing as these are the hardest for me to part with. I also think clothes will the easiest for others to get rid of after I'm gone as they are easy to bag up and dispose of.
Hej! I read the book in Swedish (because I'm Norwegian), and it's so interesting because though our cultures are so similar in so many ways, this isn't. I'm myself is a minimalist. One point of this process I've experienced while going through houses of a past family members is that the descendants seem to cling to the objects, because they put to much meaning into it, more than maybe the former owner did. And therefore becomes a burden, they can't declutter almost anything. And it's not easy in a state of grief. Just a little reflection.
Hei!
Yes, it really is. My mom was Norwegian so I grew up with both cultures ☺️
And such a good point you’re making. When my grandmother died it was exactly like this. My uncles were all so attached to the stuff that nothing is being cleared out but nothing is being dealt with. Creating a lot of unnecessary burden! I think it’s important to remember that things of a loved one can not bring them back. And maybe going through it is a good way to process grief too! 🥰
@@SagaJohanna Oh, didn't know you were half Norwegian! (And here we write in English...) So true what you say here!
@@litt_brandt Ja! Halva familjen är i Oslo :) Så vi kan nog skriva på svenska och norska! Tack :D
@@SagaJohanna This is so true. I have a box of my Grandfathers things from 5 years ago I still haven't gone through... a box of my ex-husbands (who passed away 5 years ago as well) and my Grandmother just passed. There is a storage locker of stuff to go through... These things can overcome your mind if not dealt with. Thank the items and let them go. They will not bring back your loved one, they live in your memories :) I have some purging to do apparently! Also makes me very aware of what I will leave behind for my kids one day.
@@SagaJohanna
My family is Swedish, but we also had this problem when my mother died. So much of her things are still in storage, twelve years later. I wouldn't mind going through those things, too, but it seems like there's no interest in it. Someone in the family is still clinging to the last things. Grief - it sucks.
Thank you for this explanation of Swedish Death Cleaning in a nutshell. I enjoyed listening to you pronounce the author's name. And the words in Swedish for paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, maternal aunts & uncles, paternal aunts & uncles, nephews and nieces make so much sense.😊
I became minimalist in 2014 and extreme minimalist in 2017. I have a tiny number of 'beautiful, non-essential' items. The rest are essentials, always of quality. But this isn't for everyone. I think Swedish death cleaning could provide a good inspiration to people who haven't adopted as counter-cultural life as I have as an extreme minimalist.
What resonated most in what you said was about understanding the importance of impermanence. This was the key to allowing me to move through a minimalist journey. It started off as an intuitive recognition that chasing after stuff (the hedonic treadmill) didn't make me happy, then to realising things about my personality (that a calm uncluttered space lead to a calm mind), then to an extreme minimalism where I do not feel attachment to even the things that I appreciate in my environment now.
Yes I agree. And for me impermanence is a really important reminder or motivation that helps me to stay on track even when I get lost in the allure of marketing or wanting something to make me feel better. :)
Hi there! I always do this type of cleaning - although sometimes I even get rid of things that I later come to regret 🤨. But I loved learning about this cultural practice, I totally believe that it makes our lives lighter and happier, and also makes it much easier for our loved ones when we pass away. I've seen some relatives having to deal with their late loved ones' belongings, and that can double the pain of their loss. For me, sometimes we are so attached to things that not only get in the way of our lives, and also make us forget what really matters. Thank you so much for the heads up 🥰!
Thank you for sharing this video! I unfortunately experienced the process of going through my husband's things when he died unexpectedly. It definitely compounds the grieving process. The sadness my children and I experienced was enough. Then we decided to move to be closer to family and going through so much stuff added to the stress. Luckily, I had the help of loved ones to get through it, but it taught me so much about what I want to leave behind.
Thank you for commenting! I experienced the same thing when my mum died and it's surprising how stuff can be so difficult emotionally!
I used to be a minimalist, then I got into collecting action figures a couple years ago. Now my apartment is stuffed and cluttered. I miss the old ways, but don't want to stop now because it feels like something I have to finish. It started after I quit drinking and smoking though, so it is another addiction.
Sounds like it. ❤️ maybe try not shopping instead of decluttering? That changed my life
Swedish people are awesome. What a level of consciousness.
Good video. I am 1/4 swedish; my grandmother emigrated as a young girl. I just turned 71 and have been thinking about ridding myself of a lot of stuff I do not need, use or even look at. I am going to be busy figuring out who could want or use some of my many tools.
11 years ago I helped clean up my parents estate. It was a chore for sure. When us kids were trying to decide how it should be done fairly, I stumbled upon an article that I felt was a non conflicting way to do the division. First off is there anything that your parents specifically said should be yours (be sure you/they put in writing and get it to the trustee(s)). When you get together with your siblings to divide the items, ask if there is a particular item that one person really wants have them speak up and if all agree then they get that one item. (i wanted my mothers angel food cake knife as it brought and still does bring back good memories when I use it.) The easiest method to divide items is: 1. get a deck of playing cards, take out the jokers and Aces are high. 2. get a large cake pan. Place the cards in the pan and spread them out. 3. Ask who is in the draw for a particular item. 4. everyone that is 'in', draws a card. 5. The person with the highest card wins the item. 6.There is no re-drawing; you can trade items if you are both in agreement. 7. Shuffle the cards and spread them out for the next round. Then we had a day just for the grandkids to have a division day. What is left over is up to the executors to decide what to do with it.
My oldest sister and I were the primary executors and handled all the financial issues. I used a series of spreadsheets to make it all work out down to the last pennies since cash, Tax free bonds, and real estate was involved. The Trust lawyer helped us through a couple sticky issues with the IRS.
Good luck to all of you that want to start your Swedish death cleaning! Make sure you have a will or better yet a revocable living trust which has a will in it and don't forget your medical advance directives. Probate on just a will will cost your heirs more than the cost of creating a trust and then there is no probate court at least in my state.
I am Swedish and perhaps intuitively have been engaged in a process of dödsständning (did I get it right?). It's been very enlivening to give away stuff, of course beginning with stuff that doesn't have an emotional attachment and moving onto discovering that emotional attachments are very easy to dissolve because the accompanying lightness is so satisfying.
Love this explanation. I've already begun, and I like the reminder that there is no end to the process--you just work on having less and less, and not accumulating more and more.
I read the the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death cleaning not long after my mother-in-law passed away and we had to deal with all her stuff. It was truly overwhelming dealing with everything she had.
I determined to clear out all my stuff except what I truly need so my family wouldn't have to deal with it when I'm gone. I really miss how easy it was to clean my house when I was newly married and didn't have excess things in our home, so I am trying to get back to that, and hope my husband will eventually join me in doing the same with his stuff.
Thank you so much for your encouraging videos.
Thank you so much 🥰
I feel the exact same way! Another fun motivator for us is the money and joy that comes from selling and giving! It can be another great motivator to help someone get onboard with minimalism!
It's so true! That's where I'm trying to get my home back to as well, when I was newly married and had almost nothing, lol.
There is no heavier burden after dealing with the death of a loved one (my Grandmother, then my Dad four months later) then to go through TONS of stuff they left behind.
My Mom, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin and myself pitched in to remove all my Grandmother’s things and furniture from the home she’d lived in since 1971; it took several days, lots of boxes and trash bags, then there was the shed out back (also quite loaded; Granddad died in 1994, left behind tools, etc.)
But I had to deal with emptying Dad’s apartment out alone, just a week after sprucing and cleaning it up in the idea he’d return to a more comfortable, neater, insect-free place. Six months later, the storage shed I’d rented for his things (from the house he’d been renting before his cancer; the apartment was too small for several furniture items) nearly two years before he died was STILL HALF FULL (20’ by 20’) despite several full-load hauls in my truck to the refuse containers at my place.
Paid $500 to a great company to empty that storage spot ($225/mo) finally. What a relief to finally sit and grieve, but COVID-19 was in pre-vax days, work was awful and my head still was in a bad place.
You can do your loved ones no greater service than to GET RID OF USELESS JUNK, now! Wills are important, but in-fighting over sentimental clutter and removing piles and piles of clothes, glassware, cumbersome pieces, you name it…does NOT have to happen. Simplify now, and you’ll feel the benefits. A great and lasting weightlifting, truly.
Wow. Such an important story and I’m in awe that you got through that ❤️ sending strength and love to you!
I love the way you explain this concept and get excited by the openness of your presentation. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you!!
A really nice video. Clear and to the point. My favourite part was when you said it gave you a reason to phone your grandad who couldn’t understand at all why people would be interested in Swedish death cleaning. 😅
Thank you! He loved talking about it :) and he's very funny!
I’m of Hungarian lineage and my whole Family back in the 1980s did this!
I could not understand because I was in my 20’s and all the gifts I gave my family were donated. Thanks Grandma! I had no heirloom from my grandmother because she sold everything! Nothing to remember her by.
That’s so fascinating! Haha I can’t believe the gifts were donated! I don’t have many heirlooms either. Just one necklace from my mom’s side. Living abroad makes it hard to keep furniture and other bigger items.
That's sad you ended up with nothing :( It's nice to have something even if we don't "need" it. I'm grateful my Grandma let me go through her jewelry box and let me pick out what I wanted while she was downsizing. That's all I actually have of her now and a couple necklaces and earrings don't take up much space. They were nothing expensive either, I just liked them.
Sadly attachments be they real or imagined, make it extremely difficult to let go of even the most basic item, but if you take the time to write down your memories along with any photos, you can share your stories with your children and grandchildren and it can be a Legacy you leave behind. ❤
I‘m 48 and startet Swedish Death Cleaning two years ago. My house is not that of a minimalist, because I have a lot of animals, that need spaces to sleep and toys to play on, but i now have only things in my life that serve a purpose and sparkle joy to my live. A few weeks ago my dad passed and left me a house full of clutter from him and my mom, that went to heaven 12 years ago. I don‘t know how to manage to get rid of such a burden although I have two years experience of it, but this is a complete other number. I don’t ever want to be such a burden on someone with my things, so I will go on Swedish Death Cleaning as long as it is possible for me 🙏.
That sounds amazing, and I'm happy to hear that your animals have lots of space. I think animals need a lot of stimulation, and it brings you and them joy! So it's perfect. :)
Cleaning out after your dad's deaths sounds difficult. My advise would be to do really small tasks (that you know you can complete), if you have the possibility to let it take some time
Ok, so I found this video a year after you posted it and I am impressed! In the US we like to have yearly "spring cleaning" sales to reduce personal items, but often these do not happen, so clutter builds up and up. Owning excessively large houses does not help as most Americans have more space than what they really need. I think that I will start this and hopefully not leave a mess when I do finally leave this earth.
Thank you so much! I'm glad it was helpful! :)
I have already started this without even knowing that it was a thing. Very interesting to me. Thank your granddad for his knowledge of it.
I will! :)
We did it right after early retirement. Gave almost everything to Salvation Army and moved to a warmer place.
Sounds like a dream!!
I think we can show love, caring and respect when we relieve our loved ones from going through these hard tasks by doing them ourselves before we die (it is the responsible thing to do, so the Swedes have it right!!)
Agreed
Oh dear God. Mom has a shopping addiction and is a hoarder. She constantly buys out sale items and to be fair she is generous in gifting things out if she can only remember where she stored them. The house in which myself and my eight siblings were raised is quite large, and it is practically stuffed with all these things, even stuff that others simply didn't have room for which she offered to store for them. Mom seems to find any empty spot or space unsettling, and must go buy or acquire somthing to fill it. Most of my siblings no longer visit, as there is no room even to set so much as a cup of tea, without knocking something over. and it is like a cave, witn even the windows shelved and used as storage. Mom has also turned the house into a fire trap as all stairways and exits are blocked or at least mostly obstructed with piles of stuff she has collected over many decades. It is truly unsettling to be in "our" family home. What she calls a "guest room" is a vast closet stacked very close and high with furniture and all manner of stuff, and a bed. It is not a pleasant room in which to awaken, nor is any other room in that house, anymore. I can't really see what's right in front of me, there's too much clutter for my brain to process... this is so far from any normal level of accumulation, it is, I feel, a kind of insanity... thank God she is not a "cat lady" with hundreds of cats to deal with, Attitude of gratitude...sometimes I think we might just burn it down some foggy night, and walk away.. It is all so tainted. No one really wants to keep reminders of her hoarding, as if they had the room for them anyway, they do not.
I can only offer as proof that half of what Mom has hoarded, are storage and organization items, such as bags, boxes, bins, baskets, barrows, in such quanitities that it will take years to go through them all, and sadly, they will have to be gone through, as so many sentimental and beautiful things are mixed in among the "as seen on TV" sale items and kitsch, and all this will probably have to wait until she is in a home, since she is inclined to add more than she discards, at all times and she has told my siblings that we can just pay someone to throw it all away when she has passed on. Interestingly, she is half swedish (or perhaps Danish, but, so what). But I know, it is a disease. Mom spends money on buying things that she already has because there is no hope of finding them again when she needs them.
I esteimate 50 cubic yards (cubic meters?) )not including the many antique and sentimental items the family may wish to rescue. This is items from furniture all the way down to sewing kits and thimbles... tens of thousands of items, very few without some possible value to someone, that will have to just go, so that the house can be sold. An estate sale every weekend for a year... It's just so crazy, I am myself trying to gently winnow my own several decades worth of accumulation, but I have already gone through and dealt with the easy stuff, now it is down to large and useful items as well as many small and sentimental ones, few of which are easy to just let go, but I don't want my sibling to have to spend more than one weekend (Ok maybe two) dealing with my stuff. And I'm only Sixty. I'm trying to get aj ump on things.. Mom is 86 now so there clearly is no chance at all of her getting clean while still alive and healthy, and we will have to find a way to get though it all. Oh dear me...Thanks for letting me vent. I have never shared this elephant sized sorrow and dread outside my family. It's too much for words to tell.
Thanks for sharing ! You're not alone and , at 73 , I take your comment to heart !❤❤
At 86, are there things you could sneak out of the house to go through? My friend tried to talk her mother into taking the many many stacks of magazines to a storage unit because she might need a recipe out of one of them and I said even though I don't agree with lying tell her you're taking there and tells them. But now they had eight trucks moved 700 mi away and put into six storage unit and little by little she's gone through it while her mother is in a assisted living place. She'll never see that stuff though she'll mention something once in awhile. They've had to go through every one of hundreds and hundreds of books because there've been important life documents, money, pictures stuffed in them! They are down to three storage units now! Good luck!
Hoarding is a mental disorder that is triggered by a trauma. It used to be a part of OCD but has acquired its own disorder in the new DSMI-5. There are now support groups and therapists that specialize in this mental disorder.
You can also get information from your library, social services that have information on this common disorder as well as watch documentaries on this disorder. The British ones are very good because they are compassionate with the hoarder and actually treat them unlike the aggressive and re-traumatizing American documentaries. Get some support around this burden. Throwing your mom’s stuff away will only make her stop trusting you. These programs will explain better than I can. Also hoarding tends to run in families.
Good luck!❤
Here it is! Thank you! Stop reaching for someone else's definition of minimalism! Create your own journey by embracing many different concepts. Don't put your self in a box with the "limitations" of minimalistic dictates. Take what you want and leave the rest, Don't "pigeon hole" yourself! You got lady you are brilliant! From Ohio.
Yes I agree! Thank you so much ❤️
_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Gautama Buddha
Johanna, death cleaning or not, your Standard American English (SAE) is excellent. SAE is the most understood and most important language in the world today. 💕☮🌎🌌
Thank you for being the one person who makes the effort to correctly pronounce Margareta’s name. There are many reviewers who post their reviews without even trying to get it right, or even apologetically joke that they “hope they’re saying it right” while they are mangling it. It’s not much of a tribute to such a wonderful little book if you botch up the author’s name! Best wishes, nice review!
Thank you and I loved the video. I am currently going through a huge clean of all my stuff. I think we all have certain collecting habits like books, jackets and hats. I am trying after the initial sort out to really pare things down. I find it fun, cathartic and it really makes you value what is left. I love both the design and functionality of certain things that I have kept which I took for granted before. It's a good thing to do.
Thanks so much! That makes me so happy :)
This is an idea that we all should embrace early. I an 64 and have started this clean up and my kids will have much less to deal with. Thank you for this video.
Thank you!
What a wonderful idea. So realistic, logical. Sensible ! There will be so much less garbage in the world. And more sharing!!
I absolutely ❤ this concept! It took me 2 years but it's done. I now live with minimal things that I love. It will be a breeze for my children (when my time comes) to deal with what is left.
When my uncle passed he had a ton of junk that eventually got pushed to my house, My GF grandfather passed and his entire house came to my house so now i have 2 1/2 house full of stuff. I am purging and just started the death cleaning method, its a good feeling getting rid of crap i really don't need.
Wow that’s a lot of stuff!! Glad you’re starting on your journey too :)
I surely do wish my packrat father had done this years ago. He passed away about 6 weeks ago, and we've been cleaning out his house ever since. My big vice is buying books, and it would be hard to give any of them away, but I know my daughter will not be interested at all in the subjects I read, so I should face it and give some away.
What if she were to assist you? then she could help choose which books to keep! my two cents...
@@photonjones5908 Great idea! Hope he considers it. :-)
I love this, you are the perfect person to make this video! I also like the concept of taking responsibility and not leaving your clutter or delayed decisions to burden loved ones. I have also been trying to think of where an item I buy will end up after used, hopefully to slow down my consumption. Almost all my belongings will long outlive me, so will have to go someplace when I can no longer use them.
Thank you!! 🥰 yes! I love the idea of only buying this that will outlive us. That means less consumerism and more cyclic consumerism!
This may be my favorite video about Swedish Death Cleaning. Better than the Americans who make videos about it. Yours made it more sentimental and understandable as to why one should do it. Responsibility is key!
Thank you! ❤️
Going to estate sales was something that greatly influenced our move toward minimalism. Seeing so much useless junk being sold to strangers in a house where someone used to live was so sad. We say all the time that we don’t want a bunch of junk to be sold at our estate sale.
Oh, that's a great point!
I remember about forty years ago a young Swedish woman commenting on my flat, about the amount of stuff we have in England. I think the average Swede would be traumatized by visiting me today, I am just sad that I have run out of wall space and furniture to put things on: Pictures, photos, ceramics, anything of interest to me, tech stuff, books etc etc. My daughter knows that when I pass, it will be her responsibility to deal with it. She will probably do a car boot sale so that someone else can clutter their house, and no doubt keep some stuff to clutter hers and my Sons. I think it is in the soil as I do not have a drop of English blood in my body, but born in London and now seventy I am thoroughly English, Eccentric Sans the arrogance. But as I say it is definitely in the soil, the place defines us, not the other way around.
I have already started this without even realizing it is"death" cleaning. Thank you so much for this encouraging and enlightening video. Unfortunately my parents generation did not get the memo on this.
Thank you! Yes I know…!
They expected their stuff to become family heirlooms as well as saving their kids money. They believed that their adult children would use their parents furniture, dishes, etc, in their own homes, which is one reason that they collected so much, because most parents had more than one child and didn’t want fighting among them.
Also even the books I read as a child had kids going into their grandparents attics and finding many kinds of family treasures such as old photo albums, letters and even heirlooms that were brought to the New World by great-grandparents when they immigrated from the Old Country. It was expected that these items would be passed down through the generations. Expectations were very different back then.
Excellent and to the point.
I’m older and doing this now so my kids won’t have too.
The benefit is I feel free and light from old life and am curious of what I could add new to my life now. I learned a lot from other site Life Tidy too. Thank you ❤
Thank you. I'm so happy for you. That sounds wonderful. I think so small differences in our life really matter. Not giving up or "chucking in the towel," also tends to make us much nicer people to be around. I'm excited for your new life and who you might soon become 😄 I'll take a look at Life Tidy too thank you!
I just did this tonight, it feels great now 😂
Haha wow! That's great :D
I have read the book and just loved it! I’ve been decluttering so much the past year! Not so much because of the book, but just need to rid myself of the junk! I love the word “minimalism” and the concept behind it! It’s helping me now through life and I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t need that stuff anymore! Great video!
So fun to hear! She is really lovely! Yay thank you!!
I’ve loved this video! Actually I’ve never heard about it, but this is a whole new way of looking at minimalism in a more complete way. Thanks
Thank you!!
Gifting is great, I have hundreds of thousands of items after 30 years of working in dumps, I'm granting wishes with some the stuff now.
I recently moved to Omaha and noticed two of my neighbors were inviting their friends and let them take whatever they wanted from the household items they spread out on their front yard earlier in the day. Thanks to your video now I know what they were doing. It’s a beautiful custom!
I really appreciate hearing your explanation and description of this concept...I had heard of it, but not looked into it further until now. I am approaching 50, and I definitely want to read the book, and start the thoughtufl process...it really sounds like a great tool to practice Living - better. Thank you for your insights and this video!
Beautiful concept. I could benifit myself.
Incidentally, love that pool at the end.
2 years ago my sister who was living in abother coutry died. There was a lot of formalities and stuff that had to he taken care of. Because of it, i moved to another country which forced me to get ridge of 95% of my own belongings. It's 2 years later and i still have 2 basements full of her belongings.
In Canada we say" one man's trash is an other man's treasure." (Usually when we are accumulating things)Its the flip side of your saying.
I retired one year ago and I have been giving things to family, friends and taking items to hospice and the kidney foundation thrift stores. My great grandparents were Swedish, so it must be in my blood I’d never heard of Death Cleaning before. It just seemed like the sensible thing to do so that I wouldn’t burden my children. Thank you for the video ❤
Very good notion. My wife and I (neither of Swedish heritage) are in our fifties and have many boxes of possessions from her grandparents and parents still with us years after the last one passed away.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure' is the quote in English :)
❤️
I am inspired to clean out and clear out with Swedish death cleaning !! Thank you!!!
Yay that’s amazing!
Hi there, I really am interesting on this subject. I have suscribed to your channel due to clear way of speaking. I am learning english and your voice sounds very clear for me. And another reason to suscribe to your channel is because you seems too much kind. Take this video. You have answered to some of the coments.
Thank you that’s so kind 🥰🥰
With most families (especially my own!!) it's more like "They're Dead,Grab what you can!!!' Never mind the will,never mind what your wishes are,never even mind what you've told a person what you want them to have. It's like a Bum Rush or Looting Attack on your Estate. One of my sisters actually showed up to the funeral home when my mother passed with her older sons....and a U-Haul!!! Couldn't even wait until she was in the ground to start grabbing up stuff!!!! (And she's still mad at me 20 yrs later for stopping them!)
Wow. That's so disrespectful of her. Good for you for stopping her and she's still mad at it 20 years later... lol.
I started giving my real sterling silverware (I was in the business) to my sons and my good gold jewelry to my son's wives several years ago. I still have plenty left, but I wanted to be sure that they had something valuable from me. If my brother or my sister show up to start grabbing stuff, I swear I'll haunt them. They aren't interested in me alive, so they can stay away when I'm dead.
Oh my! That sounds exactly like my family after my grammy died 5 years ago...her wishes were not honored at all, and her son basically stole everything financially in her estate (several million) with the help of his lawyers and a good shredder (to get rid of the documentation) and my sister and mother took things my grandmother specifically told them they could not have when she was gone. My gram always said she felt closest to me, and we spent a ton of time together and I was the person with her on her very last day (I was to get 50% of her estate). I was left with very little and the people she didn't want to have money and things took it all. This could have been avoided if she had just given all her beneficiaries a copy of her trust and will, but her son and lawyer talked her out of that saying they would make sure everyone got what she wanted them to have.... they lied! Crooks and thieves, they are! So please in addition to SDC please make sure the beneficiaries of your estate have a copy of your trust and will and if possible, have a family meeting also so everyone knows exactly who gets what when the time comes that the loved one passes. This alone would save a huge amount of heartache, drama, and stress!
Love how minimalist your space is
Thank you!!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure." This is the phrase we use in the US to describe something we may give to someone who loves something we don't want.
thank you you put a very good context and understanding of swedish death cleaning-and yes of course we should always clean and declutter and not just be a slug and I think he framed it well in the thought of impermanence and to add one more thing do we need to grow oldest with every thing of our things surrounding us-
Gee whiz! I look around my house and all the clutter and I’m like “I need all this”. I’d love show house where I just have surfaces but if I go mad and throw a lot of my stuff which I think people won’t want like my old microwave.. who what’s something with smell of old heated op food urgh.. I’ll be left with not much and knowing me will purchase all new )any excuse!).
Idk how to start as I think all my clutter is useful 😞 I have a small house so need to death clean!
Any advice appreciated.
Just my experience...
Have you tried the "to be discarded by date" box?
You can put stuff that you think it is useful in a box, label it with an expiration date and set it aside (list all the items inside if possible). If you do not open it in the meantime, just take it out to a donation place. The expiration date can be any time you think it's ok, even 5 years. The boxes are also stackable and occupy a different volume than scattered objects.
Other ways are:
- just grab trash, any broken stuff, expired, too dirty to clean etc to landfill or recycle.
- donate any triplicates that you have (you still have 2 copies of it).
- keep only one of the stuff that costs less than a certain amount of money, or if a thing is very common. For example, socks.
- fix what bugs you, sort and declutter what is more nagging at you every day, then do the rest
- learn from the 3s: sweep, sort, standardize
- ask yourself if you keep all of the stuff to be secure and safe and what can you do to feel safe and secure in other ways
You can also start with things that are less emotionally heavy for you. For me personally, I start decluttering, sorting and organizing my bathroom stuff, because for me it's easier. I can't do sentimental items easily, it's very distressful. But to be in the place I am now it took me years to giveyou grace and be patient.
It is a muscle to exercise, so progress is much more useful (declutter in small passes on small inobtrusive items it's easier and less challenging)
Going for perfection or doing all at once is very stressfull, and then we quit immediately.
Keep it up. I hope it helps.
Great explanation and I enjoyed your method of presentation! Thank you
Thank you!
This is so brilliant. The exact opposite of the hoarding practice that consumes the lives of so many Americans. I know several people who have 2 or 3 storage units in which they store all sorts of things they never use. A needless expense and waste of time.
2:40
OMFGAAAWWWD! 😳
Thank you so much 😊 for this Beautiful 🗑 you no longer want, need, or see any reason to hold onto.
About 3 years ago I was cleaning the apartment after my late mother-in-law. We did it in 3 people and there was so much work and it took so much time... I wouldn't want anyone to have to do this with my things after my death. Also, 99% of these things were not needed by anyone. We only left a few souvenirs that we gave to several people. The mother-in-law gave away some presents at the end of her life things that were important to her and left the rest to us. There were literally a few of her gifts and these were really important things for her, and those that were thousands counting the whole apartment and lots of clothes. We gave them to the poor and in various shelters, we tried to waste as little as possible and there were still many bags of 120l of rubbish.
That's been my type of experience too. They don't realise how long it actually takes! Not everything is a treasure, the whole experience isn't a gift necessarily 😮💨
I'm 46 years old and I know I will live a long life. But starting this year, I will no longer buy things. I will just keep using what I already have... so when they're broken or worn out, I can just throw them out. Hopefully, by the time I'm ready to retire, I'll be down to the bare essentials.
That sounds like a great plan!!!
Love that blouse you're wearing, Swedish, Love um. Death Cleaning just makes sense.
Thank you! We have that saying, too.In English it is, One Person’s Trash Is Another Person’s Treasure
Oh yes, thank you! The only difference is that in Swedish it goes both ways. So also “one persons treasure is another persons trash” 🤣
I come by it naturally. My 100% Swedish father taught me this as a child when his father, my grandfather passed away. I love no having no stuff to store. Very freeing!!!
8. We have a really similar phrase in English, not sure if it's exactly like yours in Swedish, but it's "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I like "burden" though
The title of this video definitely put me off a bit, but I am so glad I watched it. These are excellent bits of advice for all of us.
That is great to hear! Thank you!
this was wonderful, thanks for sharing!
Thank you! Hope that it motivates me to clear things out.