Mindy, when you have your sales, put up a sign at the door that says: If the price isn’t right, feel free to make an offer. Also, people like box lots. For example $5 for a box of candles will be more appealing than $1 each sitting on a shelf. Yes, it’s less money, but at least it walks out of your house without you having to move it again.
Mindy it is ok to donate everything. There were things that were my mom's and in-laws that we held on to for years when I finally just donated them it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. You said it yourself it isn't doing anything for you.
Perhaps it would be helpful to think of the monetary aspect of all the items inside the house in this way: the largest chunk, by far, of the value is in the house itself. I'm guessing 6 to 7 figures are wrapped up in the house equity. But the value of the house cannot be realized until the stuff inside is cleared out. You can't rent it or sell it, or even move into it yourself, until it is empty. In that way, the stuff is a liability. Instead of focusing on the small dollar amounts you might get by selling lots of stuff, perhaps allow your mind and heart to move forward toward the largest gift your parents left for you: the house itself. I wish you the best of luck in continuing to manage this huge task!
Mindy, there is no wrong thing. All the items are yours now. Are the candles something that you personally value? Would you want to have them in your home? Personally, I think that if anyone wanted the candles, they would’ve already bought them by now. Donate whatever inexpensive items you personally wouldn’t want to keep. It’s ok. And that may lift your mood having more space for the expensive items. I imagine this process is really grinding on you after several months. Give yourself permission to donate the inexpensive items you wouldn’t want. Mr. Cat is really putting the food away! I think you have another cat. 😸
It is ok to get rid of/ throw away/ donate things Mindy, your parents would not want you to be weighed down by all those things. Just keep the things that are special to you, your Mom and Dad would like that I think. Those things are just items, they aren't alive. The items we have or buy during our lives are supposed to serve us somehow, life is rough, the items we own are like tools that are supposed to make life easier and more pleasant however possible. We should either need the things we have, or enjoy using or seeing them daily. If the items we have are causing us more work instead of making things go more smoothly, then they are not truly serving their purpose for us. And if a person keeps a bunch of things that they do not really want anymore because they feel bad that they, or someone they loved, have spent their money on those things in the past, then all that person has done is they have bought themself their own shackle. Now they have items that take up space in their home, and probably need to be cleaned or maintained somehow so they do not get ruined over time. We should not be putting most of our time into re-arranging and taking care of our stuff, our stuff is supposed to help to take care of us. Of course, there will always need to be some upkeep on our part of our things, but it should never be more than what we can handle, it should feel like no problem for the most part to take care of our stuff, and if it isn't, then our stuff is not serving us, we are serving it.
Habitat for Humanity will come pick everything up !!! And you lovely lady get the joy of feeling you have helped someone who desperately needed it. You are doing great Glad Coco Kitty doing better. Wishing you much strength and prayers.
With every video I see you coming back to yourself and feeling less distressed. That thing your brain keeps telling you that everything is valuable is the hoarding your parents gave you. You have great awareness and agency and will eventually choose yourself and find a path that is more true to who you are. For now, this is a stress response and part of your grieving. Take all the time you need to let that process happen, to work through that ‘value’ feeling that gets hold of you and feel all the stuff you’re feeling about your family. You’re making such good progress with the house and with your mind and heart. You’ll feel it when you’re ready to let more stuff go faster. Just keep going.
Good to see you back. Glad your kitty is feeling better. Our parents were raised to keep everything. Our adult children don't want anything we have. I've learned to let stuff go. One thought would be to contact any organizations that help families, individuals. They may need kitchenware, bedding, etc. They could come find things to furnish their places. I listen to several different people on RUclips. What I've learned is something is only worth what someone will pay for it. In the end everything is trash. Knowing that helps me let it all go. Wishing you a peaceful week!
I recently heard of a all free tag sale! Literally ppl come & take stuff for free! Way faster then trying to get a few bucks for it or putting some at the curb for free. Ur doing a great job!!🥰
Right now, with the economy, people have thin wallets. They are struggling to afford rent and food. People are looking for a bargain. I had to go through the same thing with my parents. My mom was purchasing anything and everything because it was filling a void in her life. Some of the stuff couldn't be sold , it wasn't wanted. My mom had really good solid wood furniture that wouldn't sell and ended up being given away. Her quilting supplies were taken by the local quilting guild for making charity quilts for the hospitals and nursing homes. My mom had a box of items she cherished from high school. Found a box that my dad had kept with his cherished items. Those I kept. Everything else that couldn't be sold or given away was donated to charity. The house had a mortgage on it, and it had to be cleared, repaired, and rented as there was no money left after paying for their assisted living facility. The items that I found in the 2 boxes that my parents had hidden away, those were the important things to them. They were autograph books, pictures of 1st boyfriends/ girlfriends, pictures of friends that were important to them when young, a cherished Bible given when my dad went into service. The rest of the stuff in the house was just stuff. It didn't say or show who they were.
Most cities have a neighborhood of mid century homes… if there is one … maybe target that area with some flyers with photos of your mid century furniture.
When my parents died, they had a lot of valuable antiques, furniture, etc. Well, nobody wanted to buy it for what it was worth or close to what they spent. It was humbling, sad, and also a great lesson for me on the value of "stuff." Today's economy is horrible, groceries are expensive, and people just aren't buying. The metal organizers for paper are very common at thrift stores. I know because I'm a paper crafter and I have a couple of them. They sell for $1 to $2 in excellent condition. This is bringing back a lot of sad memories for me, I'm feeling your pain here. It's so hard, and it's hard to go through it alone. My heart goes out to you. On a positive note, just think of the rent income you'll get when you rent this house out. What a blessing that will be.
I’ve been going through the same thing the last few years. My mom is in a nursing home. It’s been a great comfort to me and I’m sure to others that we’re not alone in our tasks. What ever you do is fine. My mom will sometimes as ask “ where is this or that?” I just respond with, I don’t know, we sold it or gave it away. 💙
No one ever gets the value back of stuff nowadays It's a given Everyone needs to be aware to downsize earlier and do a clean out so the burden is not all left to adult children to do at the end
HI- I"m so sorry you are on your own in this enormous project. There is no right way through grief. You are doing great. I agree that you probably need to start donating more/most things. Your mom wanted these things, they served her, accumulating and holding onto all these things was her purpose but that is not your purpose. Your dear mom no longer needs all these things. She is at rest. You are free to let them go.
I like the thought of eating with the cutlery from your parent's honeymoon! I have my great uncle's old cutlery and it reminds me of him in a good way. Have you considered a two (or five) for a dollar sale? Or fill a small baggie for a dollar? Especially for the smaller stuff that has not been picked up. You would get some money, but it might encourage buying and give the buyers a feeling of finding a deal. It is perfectly ok to donate everything. It is ok to not want to donate everything. I think you will know when it is just time to give everything away.
When people show up early for the sales, they are usually the ones that are wanting to scoop all the other buyers by going in a picking out all the best stuff. Then they offer low-ball prices. They usually have an excuse about why they can only come “today but not tomorrow.” I’ve had SO many sales that this is the case. My husband always tells them that all prices are double for early birds. There’s never any takers. 😂And oddly enough they suddenly have the ability to show up at the advertised time the next day! 😅
I’m so glad that I have decluttered my home and organized it My children will not have much at all to clean out once My husband and I are gone We live a minimalist lifestyle
Maybe shifting your thinking from did your Mom find value in it to do You find value in it will help you let go of things? There are people who will be thrilled to find the things you’re donating. Your Mom spent that money, you are under no obligation to get her “moneys worth” out of them now. Your peace of mind and life are more important that candles, kitchenware, quilting supplies your Mom bought long ago.
When I lost my parents...I wanted the things to find a home that appreciated the stuff....I donated books to a local group that bought trees for parks for their sale....I donated clothes and kitchen wares to a local charity that helps women who needed support. I donated tools to a charity that helped people struggling and needed a home. What I am saying... I haven't had guilt about repurposing the items....I felt they ,the items, were helping others.... Schools or day cares might love donated office supplies...or craft supplies..... You and your experience of moving through this process are on my heart. I send you my wish for all things to fall into place . You can do this.
You are doing such a hard job, Mindy. When I read the comments I can see that all of us are pulling for you. You do whatever you have to do to feel alright within yourself. No judgement here for whatever you do. You have your life to live with your cat.
When those 3 people showed up you should have let them buy whzt ever they wanted since your goal is to get rid of stuff. You do not have to have everything perfectly set up.
If you need the money that is one thing. However, your time and energy are of value. You are doing a great job considering you are doing this alone. Hang in there. My daughter purchased the burrito blanket as a Christmas gift for a foodie friend a few years ago. 👍🏼 it was a hit.
You may already be doing this but if not I will leave my suggestion. I would find a small box that fits well in your car. Each time you make a trip take 4-5 items back with you that you know you want to list for online sale. Then there would be items moving out of the home - and it might lift your spirits a bit to see money coming in during the week. You would be able to get items shipped out from the comfort of your home. I know that there are several of us that would be interested in seeing that side of things as well even if it is just you boxing items for shipping. Keep you head up high! You are doing great! All of the emotions that come with this project are part of the healing process. I look forward to your videos every week. At the end of the day we are all different people with different opinions. Do what works best for you, even if what works for you changes over time. ❤
I do fill up my car with items for eBay that I take back home and list online. I should probably give an update on how well that is going. The whole clean out journey is an ongoing process, and my emotions change so radically from one day to the next.
What you would use everyday, like the silverware, DO IT!!!! None of my kids wanted my silver or china that I had gotten for our wedding so I use it everyday and it goes into the dishwasher. When I die, they can sell the silver by the pound and get what they need. No one wants that stuff anymore except hoarders.
Hi Mindy, I sometimes forget to not overthink things. When this happens I just tell myself to stop overthinking. Oddly that helps. Anyway you’re doing great. Battered women’s shelters gladly take donations.
Just a thought… what about getting the more in demand things ready to sell and while you have the fabric and whatever sales - people may see other things while they are there. I know it seems like a lot of work but when people come intending to spend money for things they may see other things. Also I worked a large charity sale and we had certain things that were fill a bag for $5 or $1 etc. and the other things were “make an offer” then you can always say no but do t waste your time pricing. just my two cents. Thanks for sharing your journey
You are doing great! I suddenly lost my Mom in March. She left farms, cattle, etc. I’ve left my job to help take care of it all. It is a totally different mindset. I’m just now working on her clothes on inside stuff.
Hi! I have been working in the antique/vintage/house clearing/second hand business for maaaany years, not in a specific auction house but "with them". First, the Georg Jensen stuff, Those are worth "big" money here in Scandinavia. About auctionhouses... You could look for the right one for your type of items to sell and one what feels good/have a good reputation. I have been working with a high number ofauction houses/firms both private and in my business and I have been very happy with all but one who has a very rude and unfriendly owner (I will never have anyting to to with that on again). All the others have been kind, honest, decent, hard working, fun to work with and they have always treated me/us very well. My experience is that at auctions, people absolutely pay good money for things that they want and that are "hot" on the market or good quality AND popular. Just because something is good quality or someone payed a high price for it new is not a guarantee. I would definately look around, ask friends or ppl in the field/area to get the best auction firm to work with instead of just assume that all auctionhouses are bad. For all the "small houshold stuff"... A lot of "fleamarkets" second hand shops, car boot sales aso have started to up their prices the last 5 years and that has resulted in some people quit or lowered their shopping because food is more important and they can´t afford "stuff" anymore. Todays economy and a new understanding for the environment and shopping inpact has inflicted other people to now use the second hand market. Since they are used to pay full price in stores for new items they are more ok with items costing more. Tho, that is persons that mostly shop in city secondhand-stores and don´t visit garages sales, car boots or peoples homes. The whole market has changes and moved. I know it´s some work but if you took an assortment the best of all the small stuff and went to a big fleamarket and set "low prices" you would most likely sell alot. How about visit one and look first, strol around, talk to the sellers, look at their stuff and prices and get inspired. Or... as some people say in the comments, give most of it away, instead of money you will get the burden lift of your shoulders and your free time back. ❤ Everything that is big/bulky and not of a great value in money or for you personally might be a good thing to just let go. Good luck with the house and clearing out. 😊
Your mum didn’t buys stuff to use…. She bought it because it gave her a high. It may have been the social interaction she loved. It’s not as rational as how you buy things. It seems you are turning the corner and realising your time has a value, and the time you are spending is becoming more valuable than the financial gain of selling her stuff. You are doing great. Your team of cheerleaders are with you during this process. You are doing great.
I can’t remember what you said was the end goal for the house, but as you already have two rentals can you rent this one out as an Airbnb. If you considered that you could use items from your mums things to kit it out.
Hi Mindy- I totally understand you are hoping to recoup some of the money that was spent, but just remember your time, attention and sanity is worth way more than the money you are making at yard sales. Perhaps you can give yourself a hard deadline and whatever doesn’t get sold, have Goodwill come pick you it all up and you can get a tax write off? Good luck with everything!!
I understand your need to go through every box, container, drawer, and closet to find items you want to keep and sell for your business. You may need to donate the rest. It helps if the organizations you donate to help others. I enjoy your videos. 😊
Of course you're sad. I'm so sorry you have to go through this on your own. You're doing a fantastic job cleaning up and selling your parents items they no longer need. Keep what you can use, and a few sentimental items and take pictures of the rest. One day you'll be done with this and will feel so good. I hope you make a good amount of money on it, I'm sure your mom would be happy.
Very happy Coco kitty is getting better. Mr. Cat probably had not been fed in a few days and was very hungry when you came there. When my husband died several years ago I was the only one who had to clean up, donate lots of items and sell the house to pay all the many credit cards he had that I was not aware he had been financing everything for the 14 years we were married..to finance his small business which only had a very tiny profit and his social security income. .there went the house money. Yes, I was working after he died but my income was no where near the monthly bills that was needed to keep the house. Many years later I am in better shape now with my second husband who is more careful with our money with several investments. You are doing great with the decluttering and yard sales. I just donated the furniture to a charity that came to pick up the furniture. Money is tight for everyone now with groceries costing double. Peope are looking for unusual items at yard sales when traveling from yard sale to other yard sales the same days while not wanting the common household everyday items.
One thing I heard that made a difference in getting rid of things is that the money has already been spent. It’s gone. No use in thinking it will all come back, donate. 😊
Sending you virtual hugs!! You’ve done such a great job! I understand feeling the sadness and I am glad you have this video “diary” to process your thoughts. Know there are so many of us out here cheering you on!!❤ I could not have even tackled what you have done! I would have been too overwhelmed.
Good job, forward motion is always good. Understandable that the hoard is draining emotionally also physically. In your time you will make the right decision on how to reach the goal of completion.
You are doing the best you can by yourself I am glad you made this you tube channel hopefully you don't feel so alone anymore going through this. Do you have for sale signs on the big pieces of furniture as people come in the house they might not realize your trying to empty the entire house? You have the time right now to go back & forth the sales are making you some money & getting the house empty that is working for now. One day at a time your doing well!
Mindy your doing fine it s going to be hard but after awhile it s going to get better and your a strong person just take one at a time if it gets overwhelming just take time for yourself.
Good thing you know how to sell on EBay! I’m too intimidated by it and the packing/shipping/billing. So I’m glad that’s an option for you. Good to see you and Mr. Cat back 🐈👍
I think it’s so cute that Mr Cat comes to visit😊 Do you know where he lives? Wish you had some company or friend to help you, it would be nice just to have someone to talk to🥰
I wanted to call my dad yesterday, he passed a year and a half ago. It is always a surprise when I remember he's gone. I so identify with your struggle to let go. I still haven't gone through his things
Have you thought about doing a live with us on youtube Mindy? Maybe in the evening there when you've done enough for the day? A little chat with us in real time so we could hopefully give you some feedback and raise your spirits a little. Very glad Coco is on the mend 😘. Sending you lots of love and hugs from the UK ..... And a noseboop for Mr Cat 🤗🤗🤗
If you want to donate, think about women's shelters. Also social services and red cross. Maybe some of your donations would help someone in their loss. Maybe call and see if they need it and maybe even pick it up. Good luck.
You will have your days of emotional ups and downs. Losing the people we love is one of the most difficult things we experience in our lives. Nobody really understands until it is their time for this. You are the only one left behind, so it is especially stressful. I wish you had someone to talk to. It might help a little. Keeping busy does keep your mind occupied.
That's my experience with estate sales. In the end we got ok with knowing that the selling things at a low price was also a huge blessing to someone else and we got the knowledge that our loved ones things were being used and appreciated. So many others have said it, but you get to decide how this needs to look for you. Were there any organizations or charities your Mom liked to support. Donating in her name could be a good way for you to honor her?
I think it's natural that you are going to get days where you are feeling down. As you said you've been doing this for a while and there's still a lot to do, and it's your mum and dad's stuff so it can feel strange donating, giving it away or even the selling. It's a stressful time for you. I'm very glad little coco is feeling better. She looks great for her age. Like the eating sounds of Mr cat munching his food. I like it when two or three of mine are all eating they're so noisy. It's cute 😸.
I would love to see you redo/repaint your mums house or maybe paint the wooden furniture with your art skills , I surely would watch I find you as a clever gifted female! Thank you for sharing 💜
Did someone previously mention that in addition to the women’s shelter for various items, programs for newly emancipated foster youth trying to furnish an apartment? Also donating to Habitat for Humanity or other organization “one room at a time” and seeing how you feel afterwards when the items leave the house, you can then determine if you want to donate another room or the garage etc. Agree that box lots are best…
Did those people come back for the sale? I Hope it went well. I had a piece or two of George Jensen silver. Folks really like it. I’ve never seen the stainless, I think That is going to Sell really well. Great to see a video from you! Keep on going, you’re doing great!
Jeannette glass is around 9 dollars each. You've done so much work already! But there's also so much work still to be done. Focus on selling the things you want to sell for 20 dollars or more and donate the rest or put it out in the yard. It will give you more space, people will see there are more valuable items for sale and you don't have to look at all of those candles etc that draines your energy every time you enter the house. It's okay to let it go, even if it's for free. Don't let yourself be taken hostage by all of this stuff that you didn't even buy yourself but with what you where left with after the death of your mother.
The ironic thing is about 95% of the stuff I sell are the $1-2 items. Hardly anybody buys anything over $10. They like the cheap consumables like the bath/body products and candles.
Mindy take what ever someone offers you even if it’s a dollar with the amount of stuff that is there it will help you then when you have your quilting sale you could add a few extra dollars on the items
It’s definitely okay to let it go to other people. It’s not wasted. It will just be used somewhere else by someone else. In my area we have an active Upcycle group on Facebook. The idea is to give things away instead of having them end up in a landfill. After you’re done with sales, maybe you could do an Upcycle day where you say everything is free. That way there is less for you to move out of there.
Just a video suggestion, when you start the music at timestamp 1:34, this should be at the beginning because it is a great transitioning video to what you're going to be talking about. It's like an intro, love all the work that you're putting into this project 💚
One or two question’s I have been thinking is are you or have you been married and do you have children? You are doing great! You are helping so many people! In my opinion you do have to be more ruthless on throwing things away! It’s ok!!! Sending you many hugs! I wish I could be there to help you!! But Indiana is a little too far!♥️
I can understand your thoughts being so confused with this process. Ultimately, I think you need to deçide what is more important to you. Is it better to treat this like a job and show up and do the work so you can earn the money you need whilst you're not employed or tied to a contract workwise? Or is it more important to you to get the stuff gone asap so that your time is free to pursue other interests and you can get on with the rest of your life? There is no right or wrong decision. Your mother would only want you to do what is best for you. Everyone will have their own opinions, but at the end of the day, your priorities will determine the outcome. 😊
Very well said. I'm teetering in the middle right now, not sure which direction to go. Since I have a lot of free time on my hands I figured I don't have a reason to not do the work, and I could really use the money. This all may change in the future if I get sick of dealing with it.
So have you looked around at the local animal shelters? A lot of them do yard sales as fundraisers and they also take Sheetz towels blankets for animal beds. Since that's something that's close to yours and your mom's hearts rather than donating it to a Goodwill, maybe you could find an animal shelter local that does yard sales and they come pick it up
I have seen several independent buyers go into a house and make an offer. They would haul it all out. Upshot is upfront cash and no more work for you. Downside might be you don't get to go through everything. Maybe make some calls. I don't know if the people I watch are in your area, but maybe if you reach out, they may know someone in your area. Buyers/resellers know each other. Just some that come to mind, locker nuts, 2cents, flippin the mitten, tucker upper. Just a thought that came to me to thought I would share. This way you also don't have to donate her things, you can get something for them and put that to good use for you as a gift from her.
My Grandsons have burrito blankets. Maybe my daughter purchased them from you as she orders mostly through Amazon. It's been a few years it seems, they have had them for awhile now.
Donate the furniture. It will free up so much room. Donate the candles and vases they are not worth the effort of trying to sale them. If things don’t sale donate them. Your peace of mind is worth more than what they are worth.
I would also put it things on the facebook marketplace for free. I do that when I'm cleaning my garage out each summer. I literally snap a picture and put it on there and say free. I put it at the end of the driveway and its snapped up before the end of the day. That way I don't have to take anything myself. You can also hire a person to do an estate sale. Yes they will get a portion of the profit but they also do most of the work so you don't have to.
Is there a crafting reuse shop in your area? There are a few here, and they take donations for any crafts/hobbies, and give back by supporting teachers and the environment. The ones in Texas have a store front that customers can shop and buy crafting supplies at a steep discount, and it keeps them out of the landfill.😊
Donate all the furniture you can! Trust me I have gone through this and getting ready to do it again : ( Parents are hoarders and leave us with a mess I'm very upset for my situation and feel for your situation.
If you plan on renting/selling the house, you can leave the furniture and rent or sell it as fully furnished. That would be better than giving it away.
Great job! Keep up the good work!! ❤as far as the furniture goes, is there any "wiggle" room in lowering prices perhaps? Im sure it's lonely for you to tackle everything yourself.do you have any good friends that might come and help you one weekend? Make it fun, play some music, enjoy a meal at the end of the day? Just an idea ❤ ❤
Gosh I am so sorry. It looks like a shop you are running. I watched your early videos and really didn't understand how much stuff you were dealing with. You are doing a great job. PS- look into "B time theory" - a concept within The Theory of general relativity. You parents marriage isn't over- it's just existing in a different time moment where your current version of yourself isn't right now.
@@chickabiddies When I advertised, and people showed up and purchased. I would provide '' A gift with purchase.'' Sometimes 10! I hospised my grandmother in her home and two weeks after her death, my dad had another major stroke. Moved him (completely paralyzed) into my one-bedroom condo. Drove back & forth to Palm Beach hospising my mom simultaneously. A few months later I added my little brother at the same time as my dad, in my little apartment. Then Everyone died, one after the other. I ended up with everyone stuff. So when someone would purchase, I would give them extra gifts just to unload. I am currently having a hard time with releasing my brother's stuff. I have gotten rid of 95% of all that I had. The last bit is quite excruciating for me. I wish I could help you, as I have been through this. You are doing such a fine job with such painful hardship. It will get easier as time goes by.
Mindy, when you have your sales, put up a sign at the door that says: If the price isn’t right, feel free to make an offer. Also, people like box lots. For example $5 for a box of candles will be more appealing than $1 each sitting on a shelf. Yes, it’s less money, but at least it walks out of your house without you having to move it again.
Box lots would help SO much! Trying to sell items one at a time is consuming so much time and energy.
Mindy it is ok to donate everything. There were things that were my mom's and in-laws that we held on to for years when I finally just donated them it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. You said it yourself it isn't doing anything for you.
Perhaps it would be helpful to think of the monetary aspect of all the items inside the house in this way: the largest chunk, by far, of the value is in the house itself. I'm guessing 6 to 7 figures are wrapped up in the house equity. But the value of the house cannot be realized until the stuff inside is cleared out. You can't rent it or sell it, or even move into it yourself, until it is empty. In that way, the stuff is a liability. Instead of focusing on the small dollar amounts you might get by selling lots of stuff, perhaps allow your mind and heart to move forward toward the largest gift your parents left for you: the house itself. I wish you the best of luck in continuing to manage this huge task!
Mindy, there is no wrong thing. All the items are yours now. Are the candles something that you personally value? Would you want to have them in your home? Personally, I think that if anyone wanted the candles, they would’ve already bought them by now. Donate whatever inexpensive items you personally wouldn’t want to keep. It’s ok. And that may lift your mood having more space for the expensive items. I imagine this process is really grinding on you after several months. Give yourself permission to donate the inexpensive items you wouldn’t want.
Mr. Cat is really putting the food away! I think you have another cat. 😸
It is ok to get rid of/ throw away/ donate things Mindy, your parents would not want you to be weighed down by all those things. Just keep the things that are special to you, your Mom and Dad would like that I think. Those things are just items, they aren't alive. The items we have or buy during our lives are supposed to serve us somehow, life is rough, the items we own are like tools that are supposed to make life easier and more pleasant however possible. We should either need the things we have, or enjoy using or seeing them daily. If the items we have are causing us more work instead of making things go more smoothly, then they are not truly serving their purpose for us. And if a person keeps a bunch of things that they do not really want anymore because they feel bad that they, or someone they loved, have spent their money on those things in the past, then all that person has done is they have bought themself their own shackle. Now they have items that take up space in their home, and probably need to be cleaned or maintained somehow so they do not get ruined over time. We should not be putting most of our time into re-arranging and taking care of our stuff, our stuff is supposed to help to take care of us. Of course, there will always need to be some upkeep on our part of our things, but it should never be more than what we can handle, it should feel like no problem for the most part to take care of our stuff, and if it isn't, then our stuff is not serving us, we are serving it.
It is such a tough task, clearing out a whole house. I would struggle too. You are doing a great job!!
Mindy: "Are you hungry?" Mr. Cat: "I could eat..."
This made me laugh.
Habitat for Humanity will come pick everything up !!! And you lovely lady get the joy of feeling you have helped someone who desperately needed it. You are doing great
Glad Coco Kitty doing better. Wishing you much strength and prayers.
I was going to suggest Habitat for Humanity too. It’s a great organization that helps families in need!
Salvation Army does pickups too.
Big plus that they pick up. Habitat ReStore is my vote too, for the furniture and household stuff.
With every video I see you coming back to yourself and feeling less distressed. That thing your brain keeps telling you that everything is valuable is the hoarding your parents gave you. You have great awareness and agency and will eventually choose yourself and find a path that is more true to who you are. For now, this is a stress response and part of your grieving. Take all the time you need to let that process happen, to work through that ‘value’ feeling that gets hold of you and feel all the stuff you’re feeling about your family. You’re making such good progress with the house and with your mind and heart. You’ll feel it when you’re ready to let more stuff go faster. Just keep going.
Good to see you back. Glad your kitty is feeling better. Our parents were raised to keep everything. Our adult children don't want anything we have. I've learned to let stuff go. One thought would be to contact any organizations that help families, individuals. They may need kitchenware, bedding, etc. They could come find things to furnish their places. I listen to several different people on RUclips. What I've learned is something is only worth what someone will pay for it. In the end everything is trash. Knowing that helps me let it all go. Wishing you a peaceful week!
I recently heard of a all free tag sale! Literally ppl come & take stuff for free! Way faster then trying to get a few bucks for it or putting some at the curb for free. Ur doing a great job!!🥰
Right now, with the economy, people have thin wallets. They are struggling to afford rent and food. People are looking for a bargain.
I had to go through the same thing with my parents. My mom was purchasing anything and everything because it was filling a void in her life. Some of the stuff couldn't be sold , it wasn't wanted. My mom had really good solid wood furniture that wouldn't sell and ended up being given away. Her quilting supplies were taken by the local quilting guild for making charity quilts for the hospitals and nursing homes. My mom had a box of items she cherished from high school. Found a box that my dad had kept with his cherished items. Those I kept. Everything else that couldn't be sold or given away was donated to charity.
The house had a mortgage on it, and it had to be cleared, repaired, and rented as there was no money left after paying for their assisted living facility.
The items that I found in the 2 boxes that my parents had hidden away, those were the important things to them. They were autograph books, pictures of 1st boyfriends/ girlfriends, pictures of friends that were important to them when young, a cherished Bible given when my dad went into service. The rest of the stuff in the house was just stuff. It didn't say or show who they were.
Most cities have a neighborhood of mid century homes… if there is one … maybe target that area with some flyers with photos of your mid century furniture.
What if you leave the house furnished and use it as a short to mid term rental for traveling professionals?
thats a good idea. like travel nurses
When my parents died, they had a lot of valuable antiques, furniture, etc. Well, nobody wanted to buy it for what it was worth or close to what they spent. It was humbling, sad, and also a great lesson for me on the value of "stuff." Today's economy is horrible, groceries are expensive, and people just aren't buying. The metal organizers for paper are very common at thrift stores. I know because I'm a paper crafter and I have a couple of them. They sell for $1 to $2 in excellent condition. This is bringing back a lot of sad memories for me, I'm feeling your pain here. It's so hard, and it's hard to go through it alone. My heart goes out to you. On a positive note, just think of the rent income you'll get when you rent this house out. What a blessing that will be.
I’ve been going through the same thing the last few years. My mom is in a nursing home. It’s been a great comfort to me and I’m sure to others that we’re not alone in our tasks. What ever you do is fine. My mom will sometimes as ask “ where is this or that?” I just respond with, I don’t know, we sold it or gave it away. 💙
No one ever gets the value back of stuff nowadays
It's a given
Everyone needs to be aware to downsize earlier and do a clean out so the burden is not all left to adult children to do at the end
HI- I"m so sorry you are on your own in this enormous project. There is no right way through grief. You are doing great. I agree that you probably need to start donating more/most things. Your mom wanted these things, they served her, accumulating and holding onto all these things was her purpose but that is not your purpose. Your dear mom no longer needs all these things. She is at rest. You are free to let them go.
I like the thought of eating with the cutlery from your parent's honeymoon! I have my great uncle's old cutlery and it reminds me of him in a good way.
Have you considered a two (or five) for a dollar sale? Or fill a small baggie for a dollar? Especially for the smaller stuff that has not been picked up. You would get some money, but it might encourage buying and give the buyers a feeling of finding a deal.
It is perfectly ok to donate everything. It is ok to not want to donate everything. I think you will know when it is just time to give everything away.
When people show up early for the sales, they are usually the ones that are wanting to scoop
all the other buyers by going in a picking out all the best stuff. Then they offer low-ball prices. They usually have an excuse about why they can only come “today but not tomorrow.” I’ve had SO many sales that this is the case. My husband always tells them that all prices are double for early birds. There’s never any takers. 😂And oddly enough they suddenly have the ability to show up at the advertised time the next day! 😅
@scrapgirl82 Many of the early birds at sales are dealers who want to resell what they just bought from you.
I’m so glad that I have decluttered my home and organized it
My children will not have much at all to clean out once My husband and I are gone
We live a minimalist lifestyle
Maybe shifting your thinking from did your Mom find value in it to do You find value in it will help you let go of things?
There are people who will be thrilled to find the things you’re donating.
Your Mom spent that money, you are under no obligation to get her “moneys worth” out of them now. Your peace of mind and life are more important that candles, kitchenware, quilting supplies your Mom bought long ago.
When I lost my parents...I wanted the things to find a home that appreciated the stuff....I donated books to a local group that bought trees for parks for their sale....I donated clothes and kitchen wares to a local charity that helps women who needed support. I donated tools to a charity that helped people struggling and needed a home. What I am saying... I haven't had guilt about repurposing the items....I felt they ,the items, were helping others.... Schools or day cares might love donated office supplies...or craft supplies..... You and your experience of moving through this process are on my heart. I send you my wish for all things to fall into place . You can do this.
You are doing such a hard job, Mindy.
When I read the comments I can see that all of us are pulling for you.
You do whatever you have to do to feel alright within yourself.
No judgement here for whatever you do.
You have your life to live with your cat.
When those 3 people showed up you should have let them buy whzt ever they wanted since your goal is to get rid of stuff. You do not have to have everything perfectly set up.
I’m moving to a furnished home and I couldn’t even sell it for a dollar. I donated it all to the church ! Someone will love anything I donated!
If you need the money that is one thing. However, your time and energy are of value. You are doing a great job considering you are doing this alone. Hang in there.
My daughter purchased the burrito blanket as a Christmas gift for a foodie friend a few years ago. 👍🏼 it was a hit.
You may already be doing this but if not I will leave my suggestion. I would find a small box that fits well in your car. Each time you make a trip take 4-5 items back with you that you know you want to list for online sale. Then there would be items moving out of the home - and it might lift your spirits a bit to see money coming in during the week. You would be able to get items shipped out from the comfort of your home. I know that there are several of us that would be interested in seeing that side of things as well even if it is just you boxing items for shipping. Keep you head up high! You are doing great! All of the emotions that come with this project are part of the healing process. I look forward to your videos every week. At the end of the day we are all different people with different opinions. Do what works best for you, even if what works for you changes over time. ❤
I do fill up my car with items for eBay that I take back home and list online. I should probably give an update on how well that is going. The whole clean out journey is an ongoing process, and my emotions change so radically from one day to the next.
What you would use everyday, like the silverware, DO IT!!!! None of my kids wanted my silver or china that I had gotten for our wedding so I use it everyday and it goes into the dishwasher. When I die, they can sell the silver by the pound and get what they need. No one wants that stuff anymore except hoarders.
I am so glad to hear your kitty is felling better.
Hi Mindy, I sometimes forget to not overthink things. When this happens I just tell myself to stop overthinking. Oddly that helps. Anyway you’re doing great. Battered women’s shelters gladly take donations.
Thoughts from a 70 year old woman - donate all the inexpensive kitchen plastic ware containers, bowls, cups.
You are doing great Mindy!
Have you considered posting a link to your eBay store here? I bet you would have a lot of customers.
I'm so happy for Coco!! ❤
Just a thought… what about getting the more in demand things ready to sell and while you have the fabric and whatever sales - people may see other things while they are there. I know it seems like a lot of work but when people come intending to spend money for things they may see other things. Also I worked a large charity sale and we had certain things that were fill a bag for $5 or $1 etc. and the other things were “make an offer” then you can always say no but do t waste your time pricing. just my two cents. Thanks for sharing your journey
You are doing great! I suddenly lost my Mom in March. She left farms, cattle, etc. I’ve left my job to help take care of it all. It is a totally different mindset. I’m just now working on her clothes on inside stuff.
Wow! The burrito blanket! I have seen that and thought it was really cute!
Hi!
I have been working in the antique/vintage/house clearing/second hand business for maaaany years, not in a specific auction house but "with them".
First, the Georg Jensen stuff, Those are worth "big" money here in Scandinavia.
About auctionhouses... You could look for the right one for your type of items to sell and one what feels good/have a good reputation. I have been working with a high number ofauction houses/firms both private and in my business and I have been very happy with all but one who has a very rude and unfriendly owner (I will never have anyting to to with that on again). All the others have been kind, honest, decent, hard working, fun to work with and they have always treated me/us very well.
My experience is that at auctions, people absolutely pay good money for things that they want and that are "hot" on the market or good quality AND popular. Just because something is good quality or someone payed a high price for it new is not a guarantee.
I would definately look around, ask friends or ppl in the field/area to get the best auction firm to work with instead of just assume that all auctionhouses are bad.
For all the "small houshold stuff"... A lot of "fleamarkets" second hand shops, car boot sales aso have started to up their prices the last 5 years and that has resulted in some people quit or lowered their shopping because food is more important and they can´t afford "stuff" anymore. Todays economy and a new understanding for the environment and shopping inpact has inflicted other people to now use the second hand market. Since they are used to pay full price in stores for new items they are more ok with items costing more. Tho, that is persons that mostly shop in city secondhand-stores and don´t visit garages sales, car boots or peoples homes. The whole market has changes and moved.
I know it´s some work but if you took an assortment the best of all the small stuff and went to a big fleamarket and set "low prices" you would most likely sell alot. How about visit one and look first, strol around, talk to the sellers, look at their stuff and prices and get inspired.
Or... as some people say in the comments, give most of it away, instead of money you will get the burden lift of your shoulders and your free time back. ❤ Everything that is big/bulky and not of a great value in money or for you personally might be a good thing to just let go.
Good luck with the house and clearing out. 😊
Your mum didn’t buys stuff to use…. She bought it because it gave her a high. It may have been the social interaction she loved. It’s not as rational as how you buy things. It seems you are turning the corner and realising your time has a value, and the time you are spending is becoming more valuable than the financial gain of selling her stuff. You are doing great. Your team of cheerleaders are with you during this process. You are doing great.
I can’t remember what you said was the end goal for the house, but as you already have two rentals can you rent this one out as an Airbnb. If you considered that you could use items from your mums things to kit it out.
Hi Mindy- I totally understand you are hoping to recoup some of the money that was spent, but just remember your time, attention and sanity is worth way more than the money you are making at yard sales. Perhaps you can give yourself a hard deadline and whatever doesn’t get sold, have Goodwill come pick you it all up and you can get a tax write off? Good luck with everything!!
So glad Coco is feeling better. Try not to worry about everything. It will all work out in the end. Everything will be all right. 😺❣😺
I understand your need to go through every box, container, drawer, and closet to find items you want to keep and sell for your business. You may need to donate the rest. It helps if the organizations you donate to help others. I enjoy your videos. 😊
Of course you're sad. I'm so sorry you have to go through this on your own. You're doing a fantastic job cleaning up and selling your parents items they no longer need. Keep what you can use, and a few sentimental items and take pictures of the rest. One day you'll be done with this and will feel so good. I hope you make a good amount of money on it, I'm sure your mom would be happy.
Very happy Coco kitty is getting better. Mr. Cat probably had not been fed in a few days and was very hungry when you came there. When my husband died several years ago I was the only one who had to clean up, donate lots of items and sell the house to pay all the many credit cards he had that I was not aware he had been financing everything for the 14 years we were married..to finance his small business which only had a very tiny profit and his social security income. .there went the house money. Yes, I was working after he died but my income was no where near the monthly bills that was needed to keep the house. Many years later I am in better shape now with my second husband who is more careful with our money with several investments. You are doing great with the decluttering and yard sales. I just donated the furniture to a charity that came to pick up the furniture. Money is tight for everyone now with groceries costing double. Peope are looking for unusual items at yard sales when traveling from yard sale to other yard sales the same days while not wanting the common household everyday items.
I think Mr. Cat likes you a lot.
One thing I heard that made a difference in getting rid of things is that the money has already been spent. It’s gone. No use in thinking it will all come back, donate. 😊
Sending you virtual hugs!! You’ve done such a great job! I understand feeling the sadness and I am glad you have this video “diary” to process your thoughts. Know there are so many of us out here cheering you on!!❤
I could not have even tackled what you have done! I would have been too overwhelmed.
Hang in there my friend. Wishing you all the best in your life. Love from Texas ❤❤
Thanks friend! ❤️
Sending you the biggest hug 🥹💕
Good job, forward motion is always good. Understandable that the hoard is draining emotionally also physically. In your time you will make the right decision on how to reach the goal of completion.
You are doing the best you can by yourself I am glad you made this you tube channel hopefully you don't feel so alone anymore going through this. Do you have for sale signs on the big pieces of furniture as people come in the house they might not realize your trying to empty the entire house? You have the time right now to go back & forth the sales are making you some money & getting the house empty that is working for now. One day at a time your doing well!
Thank you! Yes, I have signs on all of the furniture items.
Mindy your doing fine it s going to be hard but after awhile it s going to get better and your a strong person just take one at a time if it gets overwhelming just take time for yourself.
Good thing you know how to sell on EBay! I’m too intimidated by it and the packing/shipping/billing. So I’m glad that’s an option for you. Good to see you and Mr. Cat back 🐈👍
So sorry you had kind of a hard day ! I hope the next day was better !
I come from family hoarders too. Its a hard mentality to break through. I think you are doing very well. It is stages like peeling an onion
At least you have a gorgeous commute.
Well done project 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I have no love for auction houses. They did same thing to my mom when my dad passed. Contact a home designer and see where they lead you.
I think it’s so cute that Mr Cat comes to visit😊 Do you know where he lives? Wish you had some company or friend to help you, it would be nice just to have someone to talk to🥰
I wanted to call my dad yesterday, he passed a year and a half ago. It is always a surprise when I remember he's gone. I so identify with your struggle to let go. I still haven't gone through his things
I wish I could come give you a big hug and hep you divest the place. 🙂
Have you thought about doing a live with us on youtube Mindy? Maybe in the evening there when you've done enough for the day? A little chat with us in real time so we could hopefully give you some feedback and raise your spirits a little. Very glad Coco is on the mend 😘. Sending you lots of love and hugs from the UK ..... And a noseboop for Mr Cat 🤗🤗🤗
I can certainly do a live sometime! It would be nice to have a chat and some feedback while I'm at the house.
I wish I lived closer. I would take that couch in a heartbeat! Massachusetts is a bit far though 😅
If you want to donate, think about women's shelters. Also social services and red cross. Maybe some of your donations would help someone in their loss. Maybe call and see if they need it and maybe even pick it up. Good luck.
You will have your days of emotional ups and downs. Losing the people we love is one of the most difficult things we experience in our lives. Nobody really understands until it is their time for this. You are the only one left behind, so it is especially stressful. I wish you had someone to talk to. It might help a little. Keeping busy does keep your mind occupied.
That's my experience with estate sales. In the end we got ok with knowing that the selling things at a low price was also a huge blessing to someone else and we got the knowledge that our loved ones things were being used and appreciated. So many others have said it, but you get to decide how this needs to look for you. Were there any organizations or charities your Mom liked to support. Donating in her name could be a good way for you to honor her?
Now That I Am By Myself & @ Home I Pretty Much Use That Crockpot Every 2nd To 3rd Day, Make's For @ Good Home Cooked Meal In One Pot & No Mess...
You are doing great! As the weather warms up more people will get out.
You would be a prefect candidate for a minimalist channel.
I think it's natural that you are going to get days where you are feeling down. As you said you've been doing this for a while and there's still a lot to do, and it's your mum and dad's stuff so it can feel strange donating, giving it away or even the selling. It's a stressful time for you. I'm very glad little coco is feeling better. She looks great for her age. Like the eating sounds of Mr cat munching his food. I like it when two or three of mine are all eating they're so noisy. It's cute 😸.
You need to put your Amazon links in your descriptions! It can definitely help
💯 Agree!
I would love to see you redo/repaint your mums house or maybe paint the wooden furniture with your art skills , I surely would watch I find you as a clever gifted female! Thank you for sharing 💜
Did someone previously mention that in addition to the women’s shelter for various items, programs for newly emancipated foster youth trying to furnish an apartment? Also donating to Habitat for Humanity or other organization “one room at a time” and seeing how you feel afterwards when the items leave the house, you can then determine if you want to donate another room or the garage etc. Agree that box lots are best…
Do what's best for you Mindy. You're doing a great job. Mr cat sure was hungry lol ❤
Did those people come back for the sale? I
Hope it went well. I had a piece or two of George Jensen silver. Folks really like it. I’ve never seen the stainless, I think That is going to Sell really well.
Great to see a video from you! Keep on going, you’re doing great!
Love your hair today!
Thank you!
Jeannette glass is around 9 dollars each.
You've done so much work already! But there's also so much work still to be done.
Focus on selling the things you want to sell for 20 dollars or more and donate the rest or put it out in the yard. It will give you more space, people will see there are more valuable items for sale and you don't have to look at all of those candles etc that draines your energy every time you enter the house.
It's okay to let it go, even if it's for free. Don't let yourself be taken hostage by all of this stuff that you didn't even buy yourself but with what you where left with after the death of your mother.
The ironic thing is about 95% of the stuff I sell are the $1-2 items. Hardly anybody buys anything over $10. They like the cheap consumables like the bath/body products and candles.
I love the saladmaster set. I would buy it. Let me know your price
The furniture is beautiful and you should keep that and rent the house out furnished.
What is your Ebay? I would love to take a look :)
Mindy take what ever someone offers you even if it’s a dollar with the amount of stuff that is there it will help you then when you have your quilting sale you could add a few extra dollars on the items
It’s definitely okay to let it go to other people. It’s not wasted. It will just be used somewhere else by someone else.
In my area we have an active Upcycle group on Facebook. The idea is to give things away instead of having them end up in a landfill. After you’re done with sales, maybe you could do an Upcycle day where you say everything is free. That way there is less for you to move out of there.
Just a video suggestion, when you start the music at timestamp 1:34, this should be at the beginning because it is a great transitioning video to what you're going to be talking about. It's like an intro, love all the work that you're putting into this project 💚
One or two question’s I have been thinking is are you or have you been married and do you have children? You are doing great! You are helping so many people! In my opinion you do have to be more ruthless on throwing things away! It’s ok!!! Sending you many hugs! I wish I could be there to help you!! But Indiana is a little too far!♥️
i think it for tea
I can understand your thoughts being so confused with this process. Ultimately, I think you need to deçide what is more important to you. Is it better to treat this like a job and show up and do the work so you can earn the money you need whilst you're not employed or tied to a contract workwise? Or is it more important to you to get the stuff gone asap so that your time is free to pursue other interests and you can get on with the rest of your life? There is no right or wrong decision. Your mother would only want you to do what is best for you. Everyone will have their own opinions, but at the end of the day, your priorities will determine the outcome. 😊
Very well said. I'm teetering in the middle right now, not sure which direction to go. Since I have a lot of free time on my hands I figured I don't have a reason to not do the work, and I could really use the money. This all may change in the future if I get sick of dealing with it.
So have you looked around at the local animal shelters? A lot of them do yard sales as fundraisers and they also take Sheetz towels blankets for animal beds. Since that's something that's close to yours and your mom's hearts rather than donating it to a Goodwill, maybe you could find an animal shelter local that does yard sales and they come pick it up
Yes, the local humane society actually has their own thrift shop that accepts donations. I would love to support the animals!
I have seen several independent buyers go into a house and make an offer. They would haul it all out. Upshot is upfront cash and no more work for you. Downside might be you don't get to go through everything. Maybe make some calls. I don't know if the people I watch are in your area, but maybe if you reach out, they may know someone in your area. Buyers/resellers know each other. Just some that come to mind, locker nuts, 2cents, flippin the mitten, tucker upper. Just a thought that came to me to thought I would share. This way you also don't have to donate her things, you can get something for them and put that to good use for you as a gift from her.
Make sure if you are checking eBay pricing you aren’t looking at listed prices. You need to check sold prices.
If there is any way possible to make a special trip to meet a buyer for furniture, worth a consideration.
My Grandsons have burrito blankets. Maybe my daughter purchased them from you as she orders mostly through Amazon. It's been a few years it seems, they have had them for awhile now.
Cat is sure putting away the food !!
He's a hungry kitty!
Donate the furniture. It will free up so much room. Donate the candles and vases they are not worth the effort of trying to sale them. If things don’t sale donate them. Your peace of mind is worth more than what they are worth.
I would also put it things on the facebook marketplace for free. I do that when I'm cleaning my garage out each summer. I literally snap a picture and put it on there and say free. I put it at the end of the driveway and its snapped up before the end of the day. That way I don't have to take anything myself. You can also hire a person to do an estate sale. Yes they will get a portion of the profit but they also do most of the work so you don't have to.
Is there a crafting reuse shop in your area? There are a few here, and they take donations for any crafts/hobbies, and give back by supporting teachers and the environment. The ones in Texas have a store front that customers can shop and buy crafting supplies at a steep discount, and it keeps them out of the landfill.😊
Have you tried fill a box or bag for x number of $. Especially the stuff that isn't selling and not real valuable?
Donate all the furniture you can! Trust me I have gone through this and getting ready to do it again : ( Parents are hoarders and leave us with a mess I'm very upset for my situation and feel for your situation.
PS I'm thinking of doing a free sale just come and get it people whatever you want to take out do!
If you plan on renting/selling the house, you can leave the furniture and rent or sell it as fully furnished. That would be better than giving it away.
Great job! Keep up the good work!! ❤as far as the furniture goes, is there any "wiggle" room in lowering prices perhaps? Im sure it's lonely for you to tackle everything yourself.do you have any good friends that might come and help you one weekend? Make it fun, play some music, enjoy a meal at the end of the day? Just an idea ❤ ❤
Gosh I am so sorry. It looks like a shop you are running. I watched your early videos and really didn't understand how much stuff you were dealing with. You are doing a great job. PS- look into "B time theory" - a concept within The Theory of general relativity. You parents marriage isn't over- it's just existing in a different time moment where your current version of yourself isn't right now.
What does the backyard look like? Are there sheds to go through too?
Oh yeah, there's a shed. I did a walkthrough in one of my videos. It's packed to the ceiling filled with holiday decorations and more fabric!!
@@chickabiddies When I advertised, and people showed up and purchased. I would provide '' A gift with purchase.'' Sometimes 10! I hospised my grandmother in her home and two weeks after her death, my dad had another major stroke. Moved him (completely paralyzed) into my one-bedroom condo. Drove back & forth to Palm Beach hospising my mom simultaneously. A few months later I added my little brother at the same time as my dad, in my little apartment. Then Everyone died, one after the other. I ended up with everyone stuff.
So when someone would purchase, I would give them extra gifts just to unload. I am currently having a hard time with releasing my brother's stuff. I have gotten rid of 95% of all that I had. The last bit is quite excruciating for me. I wish I could help you, as I have been through this. You are doing such a fine job with such painful hardship. It will get easier as time goes by.