What was Something You Heard that was SO STUPID, that you Thought it was a JOKE? - Reddit Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
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"I better google this, because you're laughing really hard"
You know what? Respect for checking your sources. There's no problem with being wrong and changing your stance when you're proven wrong.
It's only a problem when you insist you're correct in the face of evidence to the contrary.
My Grandmother used to work with her father on a farm and would regularly sell produce on the side of the road.
One day, a lady walked up and bought some Potatoes and Carrots that had been recently picked, so they told he to make sure to wash them before eating them.
A few days later, she came back complaining they were bad and she got sick from them.
They asked if she had washed them and she replied "Yes, I even used extra soap to be safe!"
That's right. She washed them with bath soap.
There's a ton of stories like that from the farm, but that's one of the ones that always stick with me.
In story #41 there's actually a reasonable excuse when an object like a motorcycle or in this case a river goes fast it tends to go in a straight line, however, a slow object is more likely to wobble. In a river, this means the stream is more likely to spread out and form smaller side currents that can go any which way.
Someone in one of my college biology classes asked "Are hyenas real, or just some made up creatures from The Lion King?" The entire class burst out laughing. This was a pretty advanced biology class, btw.
I'm a bit autistic, was in the eighth grade last year and am learning German. Mein Gott im Himmel!
Buckle up, this is a doozy, but worth it.
Worked for my small origin town's parks are rec department for a bit. I got put solo on night shift (pretty certain it was an isolation thing so that they could more safely steal wages, but that's besides the point) and was being enormously pressured to get more work done. I was asking how in the heck they wanted me to get more done when literally over half my shift was spent on cleaning bathrooms alone? The very confused, recently promoted, boss asks how the heck it's taking half my shift to clean about 15 bathrooms spread across town. I pointed out that just driving to all the different locations alone ate two hours of my day (yes, I went and timed it), much less doing the actual cleaning, and emptying garbage cans around the parks, IF you're fully assuming that the bathrooms needed minimal attention. His response was to demand that I show him how I was cleaning the bathrooms.
So we go in, I clean the bathroom exactly as I was trained on day 2 or 3 of the job, with the small amount of extra work to sanitize the hardware on the doors and toilets people would frequently touch. Since both were in relatively fair shape, I finished cleaning both bathrooms in just under 5 minutes. (mens and womens) Mind you, these were pretty rough and dirty cleanings; swept floors, wiped down important surfaces like seats and hardware, cleaned dead bugs out of the windows, cleaned toilets (inside bowl) emptied garbage- really really bare bones fast cleans. I didn't swab, didn't wipe out the garbage cans, didn't change soaps, didn't even need to change out the TP that time. Didn't wipe down the general or stall walls, didn't wipe down the outsides of the toilets, ect.
Lots of background but we're getting there, his response: "Well that was great for a DEEP CLEAN, but that's pretty excessive to do for every bathroom, every day."
I was flabbergasted. For one, because I was cleaning exactly as a more senior person trained me to clean (even more senior than this ninny), but also our primary customers were firstly notoriously germy children and secondly notoriously vulnerable grandparents bringing their germy children to these parks. So I asked the next logical question: "So... why do you clean the bathrooms then? So that they LOOK good, or to help protect and prevent folks from the spread of disease?"
And here it is, the line that left me gobsmacked: "Well, it's not like disease is that big of a deal in today's society right?"
COVID19 hit within the next 6 months.
One of my friends thought that east Germany was Monochrome because of the TV broadcasts he used to watch as a kid.
I will never let him live that down, lol.
One of my coworkers confidently thought there was a full moon every week, she is 27.
Punctuation is important! Remember the comma in between week and she.
Sorry for being grammar police
@@fuseegelee 👍
Has she… never looked at the sky
@@fuseegeleeIf you're going to be elitist, the "correct" punctuation would be a semicolon; it's a semicolon that connects two clauses that would otherwise be complete sentences without requiring additional words, not a comma.
@@bigawesomewatermelon9511 i said i was sorry for being grammar police
"The Sun is the hottest star in the Universe and that's why it is a sun and orange" by my own father to my astronomist bf. Hard to make this crazy up.
Also some times I chime in if I sense someone is asking a question that is not necessary a common knowlage but to some people yes. And if they become rude I just ask back something that they surely don't know but are common thing in my field.
What is an astronomist??? Astronomer or astrophysicist
Any chance your father was saying that to mess with your bf?
We were watching Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walking on the moon. My stepfather asked where this was happening. We told him, on the moon (it happened to be a full moon that night). He pointed to the moon and said it was impossible because the moon was only the size of a nickel.
Them: Dose the cheder brocli soup have chese?
Me: yes
Them: what type of chese?
Me: cheder
Them: hmm, that doesn't sound right. You shure
The christian girl saying were you there should have been asked about the bible and get asked If she was there
exactly
Oh, just see her backpedal on that would have been absolutely priceless. Also knows a double standard that she’s actually proposing, believes her Bible on faith, does not believe historical fact, on faith.
@@HannahSiemerIt's even worse than that, she believes the Bible on faith, but doesn't believe historical fact with actual real tangible proof.
@@HannahSiemer, 'Religious' ABUSE does that. Every system of brainwashing for that matter.
I know German but not Japanese, the only similar vocabulary word I can think of that isn't an English loan word is Deutschland and Doitsu, both words for Germany. Did that person fall asleep during the WWII lecture in history and get her facts confused?
Back in pre-internet days, a coworker -actually line manager - of mine, her mid-20s, asked teenage me if you’re supposed to brush the backs of your teeth when you brush.
Well, yeah. (Looking at her rather good set of choppers, kinda puzzled.)
Because her sister, a dental student said you should, but she wondered if she was just winding her up.
Me blessing my luck that someone who does not understand the most basic principles of hygiene likes a morning shower because it helps her wake up. Wondering whether to mention tongue scraping or flossing, deciding to change subject instead.
Some people might find this interesting. There are still things that people die from that doctors have yet to understand anywhere near as well as they understand cancer, so that means there are things far more scary than cancer simply because we know less about them, but here's the punch line... people die of these unknown things, not because they are deadlier, but because people don't care enough to study them because they are not "cancer", even if they act a heck of a lot like cancer.
True story: have you ever gone to a doctor because something was seriously wrong, only to have to doctor say "i don't know", then to go to a support group and hope some random person has some answers for you only to find out everyone else is doing the exact same thing, also slowly watching your life fall apart because you can't function anymore only to be denied disability because it's not reconized like "cancer" or a missing limb is, and only the lucky few who have the money to spare are flying cross country and out of country to find doctors who are actually bothering to help these people get their lives back. Have you ever been told by a doctor that pregnancy is a cure for illness, and then they tell you to ask a random man to "help" you with that? To have a doctor tell you that you're "too young and healthy looking" to possibly be sick. To walk out the door in the morning and be complemented on your slim figure and then come home at the end of the same day and be congratulated for your pregnancy, only you aren't pregnant. To be told, by a doctor, that it's "normal" to be vomiting every day and be in excruciating pain every day.....
Stupidity doesn't escape a person just because they've got a doctorate in it. Stupidity just reveals the gaps in our society and how often we let it just pass on through the cracks. People have the potential to be intelligent, but not everyone encourages the right kind of intelligence. People have to potential to cure severe illnesses, but not everyone agrees to play fair.
Moved offices, took my old name badge (which was gold in color) to the new office.
Site manager told me to get a badge green badge so I would not look "special".
Both badges cost $10, it is not like I had a solid gold badge.
My wife thought pineapples grew on trees.
Knew a girl in high school, she was quite adamant that islands would float around the ocean, and that the British chained them to the sea floor to have them stop moving.
I used to believe this, but in my defense I was 9 or maybe 10, how did a high schooler believe that?
@@artperson7617 To be fair, this is the same girl who thought that slavery couldn't have been “that bad” and African Americans were “ungrateful” that we saved them from poverty. She was actually pretty popular at school, but only among guys for… reasons
If someone came to me with that spork story I would ask if they just happaned to have forgotten to take any kind of meds this morning?
I got a story My dad is always been into conspiracy theories and I tried to ignore them but when he started getting into the flat earth or stuff I just burst out laughing at him when he was trying to explain why the Earth is flat like are you even hearing yourself my dude that is so f****** stupid and he got very angry but come on I thought he was joking.
Narrator! Please pause between stories. It sounds like one ongoing running statement.
My favorite is the idiot politician who says he will run the government like a business. A business sells products or services in order to make a profit for the owner. Since the US government IS the people, you can't sell government products or services to the people since they already own them. And you need some way to distribute the profits to the people. And they never tell you what they intend to sell or to whom. The worst part is that these are usually men who have been successful businessmen.
While listening to this, the line from Pharrell Williams "it might seem crazy what I'm about to say" just popped into my head 😂
There was someone in my neighborhood who was scared about the sound of explosions in the distance. It was the Fourth of July.
in a tabletop RPG game: "Ok, now, you walk the tunnel for a few minutes, and it ends up in a closed door" "I open the door" (slowly) "Ok, you open the door. Err… The door opens. Err… The door is now open" He was trying to earn some time to remember or find his notes about what was behind that door. That one followed him for quite a few years.
Picture this: Miami 2024, i had to in multiple ways, prove my 63yo friend that England was in Europe & not its own continent
I’ve more or less been living been a mantra for the last six years.
Looks stupid for one moment then looks stupid in the moment
Story 32 is easy to turn around if she's a Christian, as i can only assume she wasn't there when the bible was written...
Story 37 "your work isn't done" Shame, because you seem to be done paying me for the day, cya tomorrow!
An Australian not knowing how stupid it would be to plonk a foreign species (polar bear) into a new environment (Canadian forest), baffles me as a fellow Australian.
Stares in cane toad.
My cousin claimed that the Trinity River located in Dallas actually goes around the entire world lmaoooo another one is when I heard a kid said that jelly came from jellyfish and he was dead serious 😂
As a Spongebob fan, I think I get where the kid was coming from
5:40 I just imagined their foot staying midair as they shook their head for some reason.
“SHUT UP YOU LILE FNAF YOUR OPINION IS INVALID”
Spork story: when the fork was introduced, many churchmen condemned it.
It will just start a fight but for someone who always uses were you there as proof that what you say is incorrect, the first time they trotted out the bible can’t be wrong or untrue I would be forced to ask “How do you know, were you there?”
Actually pregnancy lasting 9 months is a little not accurate.
Pregnancy lasts 40 weeks.
The problem is that the number of days in a month is not fixed while a week is fixed at 7 days. Doctors find that talking in terms of weeks is more accurate than in terms of months.
☝️🤓
The woman who didn't know hamburger came from beef who thought it was pork😂😂😂😂😂
People who get their medical advice from politicians and media personalities
"Were you there?" Yes, yes I was. I'm 2 billion years old. Can you prove I'm not? 😂
HOLD IT! SPINEBUSTER'S MY CAR! NOBODY DRIVES MY CAR BUT ME!
14:09 Face palmed the Mario theme
I thought Liechtenstein was the german name of Luxenbourg
Every single person has an average of 3 cancerous growths at all times.
Cancer is just a part of being human it is only when the cancer continues to grow or develops in certain places in the body that it causes any problems.
these stories are part of the reason why i keep to myself, its insane how stupid people can be
Polar bears are moving south. They are mating with grizzly bears. The babies are Pizzly bears so a titan apex killer bear is now closer to home
"Were you there" girl: The obvious answer is to always ask her "Where you there?" when she talks about the Bible.
Fighting dragons with swords?! Where did the dragons get swords?
Story #32
As a Sister in Christ, I'd like to ask that girl if she was there for any of the events in the Bible, such as Noah's flood, David's attack on Goliath, and Jesus' crucifixion/resurrection. Lord knows *somebody* is going to throw that at her, and it's probably not going to be a fellow brethren.
Here’s something I hope helps you all realize it’s time to stop print on a certain book.If not, dufus comes to mind.Here it is “Eden need”.(c) Dino Sherman
I was in grade 7 (11-12) and a kid thought santa was real
I stopped believing in santa when in was 4-5 because santa never made sense and it took 3 years of asking my parents every year for them to admit it
I ended up breaking the news to him because i thought he was making a joke
The girl who keeps saying “were you there?” as a way to defend her religious bullshit, I’d just tell her “yes, I fucking was there, I’m a 6,000 year old immortal and I’ve never seen anything at all that looks like something mentioned in the Bible”. If she believes me, that’s when you give up on humanity
14:21 My response would be Where you there when Jesus was born? No. The how do you know he existed? That would be a great way to shut down that argument.
I've used this one. A very flustered girl told me it's what's said in the Bible. I again asked if she was there. She started telling me I was going to hell.
@@breeinatree4811 Should've said about if she saw/was in hell. No? Then how do you know it exists
@LeleiTheTigress good one. I'll try that next time.
I was told by a coworker that every animal that moves has a brain. Everything, including insects which factually do not have brains. I tried my best to explain it to him but he just confidently wagged his finger at me like I was a child, so I stopped before I got mad at him.
Sorry, but are you sure about that insect brain fact?
@@dtester Yeah I am pretty sure they have brains just very limited and not a traditional brain compared to mammals.
True that not every moving animal has a brain, but insects definitely have very tiny brains that at least allow for their functions. Some have higher abilities than that (bees and ants), although their brains do not compare to the size and complexity of larger animals.
Really? Insects don't have brains? They must have a equivalent right?
Biologist here: I'm sorry to tell you this, but not only does every insect have a real brain, every ARTHROPOD has a brain. Most worms have brains, and of course, vertebrates have brains. Now, if you're talking sponges, jellyfish, corals, oysters, clams, starfish, etc....brainless.
So both you and your coworker were mistaken, unfortunately. However, you were "more correct" since you're right that not every animal has a brain, you just gave some bad examples with "brainless" insects😊
4:20 If they were Americans asking that, I've heard several racist slurs about Filipinos relating to tree people. This was over the CB in my truck, I have no idea why or where it comes from. I've also heard them referred to as "stick eaters", but again, I have no idea where or why, only that the slurs exist.
The truck driver knows what the roads looked like before they were torn up and the three years later when the road is finally fixed. He knows for a fact they didn't change. The government wastes so much money on lazy ass contractors who just waste time to pad out their paycheck.
Something SO STUPID that I thought they were joking? Pretty much anything out of the mouth of a Trump supporter
I was explaining how i got hit by a van to a group of girls at my work.
One asked did you survive?
It was not a joke, she was a bit thick.
Had a science teacher tell me black people are better at sports because they have extra tendons in their bodies naturally and it makes the!m more athletic
This whole video is making me think, “If there's 10 billion people on earth, and Elon Musk has $200 billion, can't he just give each person one billion? And here's the twist. He will still have $190 billion dollars left over! Isn’t that so crazy?”
The math totally works out just like that 😁
15:07 YOOOO I ALSO LIVE IN THE NETHERLANDS
That Star Wars prequels are bad.
sometimes to me its funny how the voice changes everytime
12:00 silly billy huh? Reminds me of something
The girl in story 3 deleted images of caseoh
Everything my father says
We're not so different you and I.
#11: OHHHHHH SPUNGE ME BOI WASH YOUR GLOVE
Just for giggles, I would insist that specific Bible stories were made up. I'd pick a new one for every new conversation. How could she know they were true?
Was she there?
That nonsense IS made up. Ridicule them every chance you get. These blindfolded tools have convinced the world to 'respect' their delusions. The abuse needs to stop.
I don't know which is actually the oldest book or set of rules but it is definitely not the Bible. At least it is proven that the ancient Egyptians already had written rules for behavior on the construction site 2700 years before Christ.
What weird person does not have cheese in their broccoli soup?
Vegans
i worked at taco bell when i was 16 and one day i was working the drive through this guy asked me "how many taco come in a taco 12pk" i was genuinely baffled i had to pause and ask my coworkers if we heard him right, than i just politely said 12
"Were you there?" No, but a bunch if Christian monks and priests were and were recording things if you must insist on only Christian records counting for shit. (Also the church was often recording briths and deaths sense they were invilved in the practices around them. This is not dissing their work. It was very valuable and we are lucky to have the records they left.)
One of my classmates in world history constantly ranted about how Prince Charles was the antichrist Who was going to bring about the end of the world in 2012. Guess that didn’t work out.
It's so cute that you have absolutely no concept of how evolution works and how much time it truly takes and that a polar bear is so far away from a grizzly or a black bear that, no they cannot just get dropped in a forest and survive do you even have a concept of the differences of their diets, breading, which one hibernates and why????
I remembered the "Gap in Knowledge" episode from "How I Met Your Mother" where Robin thought the North Pole wasn't real.
Some guy asked me if flowers had petals. In his deffense, he was over studying and stressing over the botany test and I think his brain just short circuted for a split second.
OK, I know for a fact that no one in America thinks that America’s is the only place in the world because quite literally everything is from China from China on the other side of the world
Ok for the last one if you know nothing (like not a single thing) about how power works it makes a bit of sense that things shoul all be electrical. But knowing anything about power makes this sound incredibly dumb.
10:05
Ok I don't believe anyone would get sick butttttttt I do find the whole washcloth with soap is odd. I would think it would leave a soap residue on the tables. Right? Please don't let this just be me. Haha
“I’d better google this because you’re laughing really hard” is a surprising amount of self awareness compared to most of the others.
I never thought I’d like this channel but then I accidentally saw one of the videos come on my recommended now it’s one of my favourite channels
Hearing these makes my soul die
"My uncle smokes a lot, but he will never get cancer" " Why is that" "well, he drinks a lot of water so that it washes his lungs clean"
My ex-wife asked me (seriously) how to spell "The". Made the right decision to divorce her.
"I will cook you something real good" and then proceeded to get a can of industrial ravioli out of storage.
I was talking to an adult a few years younger than me and I said I was born before, and he was born after the internet was invented. He told me that the internet had always existed (like the Force in Star Wars) and humans just discovered it and found out how to access it one day. As I explained that Humans had actually created the internet, we both asked each other "Are you serious?" quite dramatically.
If you were born before the Internet was invented you'd have to be in your late 50s at least. Most people don't realize the Internet was invented in the late 1960s.
Someone incorrectly correcting someone that it's your, not you're. I've seen it many times.
The Earth is flat, and whatever Marjorie Taylor Greene says
No, no, it's triangular!
You know that's scary that people actually think like that
1 in 3 isn't that far from 50-50.
I can’t even talk I used to think that 3AM videos were real.
This one comes curtsey of my Uncle.
Somehow the conversation turned to birth control, and the morning-after pill.
He chimes in "Yeah, they're working on one of those for men now".
We assumed he was talking about birth control in general, as that has been an area of research. Nope, he believed there would be a morning-after pill for men. He was adamant.
Polar bears can live on tropical islands. Have you not seen Lost?
"Why don't we add a bell to the tv remote so we don't keep losing it"
Buddy - you need to state when its a new comment/post/story
why there is a racing game in the bg? what's the point of it
15:26 it could also be because, pig flesh apparently tastes similar to human flesh. Well, at least according to a former cannibal on that one episode of River Monsters
That's why they call human meat "long pig."
That three year olds know who they are already
OK, most of these are really dumb, OK the cheddar one, I know the cheddar is a variety of cheese, but not everybody does. If you don’t believe in the atomic theory, how the heck are you taking chemistry same for revolution and biology. The one about the death, listening to music in braille, oh you poor, poor, unfortunate soul. I am both blind and hard of hearing, so I can’t answer this for you, we do and yet again we don’t. Some have some hearing and some don’t, kind of like the blind spectrum, some of us have some usable vision, and some of us frankly do not or what usable vision we have, like myself, is it not much to be riding home about. I imagine some people listen to music through those bone conductor headphones, something my brother got me a few years ago, but I ended up never using. A valid question it came out wrong. There is such thing as braille sheet music, although is particularly difficult to read, whether you are fluent or not
Basically, the polar bear guy is not an idiot. Polar bears migrate and reach the mainland on their migrations. That is why Alaska and Canada have a population of polar bears who, due to the melting ice, have decided to just stay in the forest. Polar bears have already bred with the bears there because they are bigger and stronger. Which leads to a new mixed breed of bears.
If anyone is wondering why the last one is stupid because I can actually see even someone smart being confused. There's something called light pollution. It's why it's harder to see stars in a city. So yes. That lamp did technically produce a type of pollution. There, of course, is also the fact the plant generating the electricity has a chance to be making pollution to generate that power. Solar and wind are everywhere but that doesn't mean that a factory that produces smog didn't contribute to that lamp.