Great video, Jennifer. This is so true. My grandfather was sick earlier this year and we went to visit him to say our goodbyes. Something in me changed after that and couldn’t care about work. We said our goodbyes, spent time with family there, and I went out of my comfort zone and did outdoor adventure activities. After that, I did my work but stopped caring and did less. Sounds bad but doing less is doing more. Fast forward, I’ve gotten recognition from higher ups, my manager (who said I’ve been a badazz lately) and won an award within the department. The next project, he wants me to headline. Excited but trying to just keep it going with not caring so much. Life is so much more than stupid work anyway.
@ I’m sorry for your loss, Jennifer. You are right - it really does make you look at life differently. It’s unfortunate that it has to take an event like that to really understand our role in life and how work is in the grand scheme of everything. Thanks again for providing great content. Its always appreciated 🙏🏼
Jenn, I've worked in the Telecom Industry for over 27-years. I was once told, that if the folks here weren't employed by the Phone Company, they would either be incarcerated or institutionalized.... Criminal or Nuts. And that sums-up most of the folks I've crossed paths with in my career. A few gems in the rough, but mostly criminally crazy people,, who get off on wrecking other people's lives, either out of stupidity or vindictiveness. Morals & ethics sadly do not enter into their train of thought. If I was younger, & had an equivalent job in terms of pay & benefits, I'd run far & run fast from this job. Politics run front & center, with smoke & mirrors to cover their dirty little tracks. Try to do your job & give 110%, and they'll run you into the ground, because they don't understand the concept of work ethic or being invested in your job. Your good work makes them look bad. Accountability is a term they use in jokes, behind closed doors. This is not my grandfather's Oldsmobile.
It isn’t talked about how attached people are actually difficult to manage. They are yes men and very agreeable , but need constant reassuring and hand-holding. This can be draining. When a decision needs to be made, they can’t be trusted.
I wish I knew you 10 years ago but it's never too late to learn and I am grateful for all the information, especially how not to get drowned in the office drama but play the office politics as fairly as possible and to your own and your company's benefit.
I went back to a job I got fired from twice in the past, because I needed something compatible with having an elementary-school-aged child, management had changed, and my daughter had been receiving care there for a couple years, and I’d been invited back twice. I plan to work there for a few years and move on. The women there are not my friends. I am there for a paycheck while my daughter is still young, nothing more. Had to watch some “training videos” (on the clock, yes) that talked all about “being a family”. Spew. 🤢
Ugh this is so good! It’s so very sad I never looked so deeply into the characters. I rewatched in my 30’s and the only thing I did know was I couldn’t stand Carrie 🤮. I didn’t mind her when I was in my early 20’s, but rewatching it in late 30’s she was insufferable.
I loved Carrie in my 20s, which made sense because I was anxiously attached back then. I have a soft spot for the character because nostalgia, but I wish they made her evolve over the series/movies/new series.
I have been lucky enough to have psychotherapy be a benefit of salary package for the past 6 years, and this was precisely one of the things I worked on to GREAT effect. It is difficult, but necessary work, but you don’t necessarily need a psychotherapist to do it. I personally think that Gabor Maté’s books, particularly his Myth of Normal, and another book called Conflict is not Abuse by Sarah Schulman, have been instrumental in assisting me detach from work and build healthier boundaries.
Hi Jennifer ! Excellent advice about office politics & establishing an excellent reputation , influence & relationships at work 👌. Good Luck in the marathon if you participate this lovely autumn 🍂 & Let's Go Yankees 🗽
Still haven't gotten back to running since my big fall. I'm a Mets fan (what a season, did not expect them to get that far!), but I think I'm rooting Yankees for the Series.
Perfect 👌✨. Thanks again Jennifer, and thanks for all the comments below. I too fit into the category of, “wish I had seen this video 10 years ago,” but a detached/objective countenance will keep me from ruminating over what was lost and perhaps more empowered walking into my new found job!
Not detached from the job at hand, but detached from people. People do and say things which are enough to shake you up and upset or soothe your emotions. Rattled emotions leads to trusting wrong people or distrust on right people. Detachment helps there. Once you leave office premises, you should not be dwelling on people or issues. That step out of the door should be a signal to your brain to stop thinking about office.
I don't see detached as oppositional to motivation. In fact, I think detachment enables sustained motivation because it makes your sense of fulfullment and success less attached on a particular outcome and more on the overall progress.
Detachment is actually a maladaptive coping method. I think that as adults we should take responsibility, and I am not sure if a recommendation to detach is very wise. Ignorance is not bliss. For children it's a different story, they often have no choice. One needs to bear in mind that movies and pseudo psychology specialist or motivational coaches often don't have profound knowledge and don't understand the bigger picture. Always look at the source with anything in life is what I've learned.
How do you take responsibility for situations that you aren’t responsible for though? For example, currently at work, a jealous female coworker has spent months scheming behind my back and getting other coworkers to be closer to her, and isolating me. She’s a bully who is covertly trying to get everyone to gang up on me. She’s nice to everyone and also fake nice to my face, but I am aware she does things like organise group chats without me in it, or organise group lunches without inviting me. She’s basically chummying up to everyone through these friendly social moved, except for me. I am aware she’s jealous because she sometimes copies my makeup or style, and also objectively, she is less attractive than I am. She is a pick me who wants to be the centre of attention. We work in a male-dominated office and I can tell that she didn’t like how other coworkers (mostly male) got along with me. What can I take responsibility for? I am not responsible for her insecurities around me leading to her wanting to be the centre of the group and trying to push me out of it. I can’t confront her because obviously she will deny everything and then I will seem like the crazy bad guy. The only thing to do is detach from her stupid games and avoid interacting with her as much as possible. I’ve also distanced myself from other people since they seem to now all be on her side since she has spent so much time manipulating them
@@lightinthedusk That's a big issue in workplaces which I have experienced myself. Of course, you are not responsible for her behavior, and I never implied that. However, I'd suggest you are responsible on how you deal with it aka for yourself. By detaching, which was the topic here, in other words, by ignoring it, wouldn't it be sort of enabling that behavior. You could try to problem solve instead; can you speak about that to anyone, can you confront her ie. tell her you need to speak to her and share that it's not ok and she has to stop? Can you ask to be transferred? You already took a distance from her. A recent example from my life I can share with you, I am currently in a study group, and some member took somebody in that I never approved of (I vetted everyone before to see if it could be a match). She is highly toxic, but everyone seems ok to follow her lead now. Nobody answers my question, while being active in other groups. So, what I'll do now, I will delete this group without explanation and find myself another study partner. I could also detach from that behavior, keep joining these meetings and feel utterly distressed. However, I am choosing not to do this as it's not doing any good for me. Believe me, your feelings matter and your voice counts. I am adding that you may also want to document the incidents and seek to speak to a counsellor or write down your experiences. You have to look after yourself and a toxic workplace may just not be worth it. Maybe you'll be lucky, and she'll leave but sometimes it may just be the best choice for us to move on.
Amazing content, Jennifer. Would you consider talking a little bit slower? It is a bit challenging to follow for those of us who are not native speakers.
Love this. This helps me as a landlord. Renters have repeatedly taken advantage of me and my kindness. This year I have drawn the line and it feels great. If you can't pay the rent, you can't live in my rental. I don't care who in your family died or what's going on in your life. I'm not your friend, I'm a landlord. I've been sick, injured, had deaths in the family and never used that as an excuse to not pay my bills.
I’m in academia where my research is all me. It’s my ideas, my fieldwork, my book project… how the heck do I embody the messages you are sharing ❤ I so want to be Samantha. But I’m so Carrie 🫣 Not in every way, but there’s enough there. I’ll be watching this video a few more times to try to get it through ❤
Great video, Jennifer. This is so true. My grandfather was sick earlier this year and we went to visit him to say our goodbyes. Something in me changed after that and couldn’t care about work. We said our goodbyes, spent time with family there, and I went out of my comfort zone and did outdoor adventure activities. After that, I did my work but stopped caring and did less. Sounds bad but doing less is doing more. Fast forward, I’ve gotten recognition from higher ups, my manager (who said I’ve been a badazz lately) and won an award within the department. The next project, he wants me to headline. Excited but trying to just keep it going with not caring so much. Life is so much more than stupid work anyway.
I'm so sorry for you loss. I had a similar experience; when I lost my mom everything was jammed into perspective.
@ I’m sorry for your loss, Jennifer. You are right - it really does make you look at life differently. It’s unfortunate that it has to take an event like that to really understand our role in life and how work is in the grand scheme of everything. Thanks again for providing great content. Its always appreciated 🙏🏼
Jenn, I've worked in the Telecom Industry for over 27-years. I was once told, that if the folks here weren't employed by the Phone Company, they would either be incarcerated or institutionalized.... Criminal or Nuts. And that sums-up most of the folks I've crossed paths with in my career. A few gems in the rough, but mostly criminally crazy people,, who get off on wrecking other people's lives, either out of stupidity or vindictiveness.
Morals & ethics sadly do not enter into their train of thought. If I was younger, & had an equivalent job in terms of pay & benefits, I'd run far & run fast from this job.
Politics run front & center, with smoke & mirrors to cover their dirty little tracks. Try to do your job & give 110%, and they'll run you into the ground, because they don't understand the concept of work ethic or being invested in your job. Your good work makes them look bad. Accountability is a term they use in jokes, behind closed doors.
This is not my grandfather's Oldsmobile.
It isn’t talked about how attached people are actually difficult to manage. They are yes men and very agreeable , but need constant reassuring and hand-holding. This can be draining. When a decision needs to be made, they can’t be trusted.
I wish I knew you 10 years ago but it's never too late to learn and I am grateful for all the information, especially how not to get drowned in the office drama but play the office politics as fairly as possible and to your own and your company's benefit.
I went back to a job I got fired from twice in the past, because I needed something compatible with having an elementary-school-aged child, management had changed, and my daughter had been receiving care there for a couple years, and I’d been invited back twice. I plan to work there for a few years and move on. The women there are not my friends. I am there for a paycheck while my daughter is still young, nothing more. Had to watch some “training videos” (on the clock, yes) that talked all about “being a family”. Spew. 🤢
How does that work? Getting fired twice and being able to be rehired? Amazing!
A agree Samantha is the best character
💯💯💯
Ugh this is so good! It’s so very sad I never looked so deeply into the characters. I rewatched in my 30’s and the only thing I did know was I couldn’t stand Carrie 🤮. I didn’t mind her when I was in my early 20’s, but rewatching it in late 30’s she was insufferable.
I loved Carrie in my 20s, which made sense because I was anxiously attached back then. I have a soft spot for the character because nostalgia, but I wish they made her evolve over the series/movies/new series.
I have been lucky enough to have psychotherapy be a benefit of salary package for the past 6 years, and this was precisely one of the things I worked on to GREAT effect. It is difficult, but necessary work, but you don’t necessarily need a psychotherapist to do it. I personally think that Gabor Maté’s books, particularly his Myth of Normal, and another book called Conflict is not Abuse by Sarah Schulman, have been instrumental in assisting me detach from work and build healthier boundaries.
The Myth of Normal should be mandatory reading for all humans IMHO.
This is an AMAZING & very timely video!!! THANKS A MILLION!
I'm soooo glad you enjoyed it!
Same, very timely on this particular day.
I wish I watched these videos when I was younger ❤
This is a really well done video. I’m going to aspire to be like Samantha. Thank you Jennifer! ❤
Hi Jennifer ! Excellent advice about office politics & establishing an excellent reputation , influence & relationships at work 👌. Good Luck in the marathon if you participate this lovely autumn 🍂 & Let's Go Yankees 🗽
Still haven't gotten back to running since my big fall. I'm a Mets fan (what a season, did not expect them to get that far!), but I think I'm rooting Yankees for the Series.
I’ve never seen sex and the city, but now I think I need to watch it. 😂
I haven’t seen it either. It makes this very difficult to follow as a result.
Perfect 👌✨. Thanks again Jennifer, and thanks for all the comments below. I too fit into the category of, “wish I had seen this video 10 years ago,” but a detached/objective countenance will keep me from ruminating over what was lost and perhaps more empowered walking into my new found job!
How can you be detached, but still stay motivated at work?
Not detached from the job at hand, but detached from people. People do and say things which are enough to shake you up and upset or soothe your emotions. Rattled emotions leads to trusting wrong people or distrust on right people. Detachment helps there. Once you leave office premises, you should not be dwelling on people or issues. That step out of the door should be a signal to your brain to stop thinking about office.
I don't see detached as oppositional to motivation. In fact, I think detachment enables sustained motivation because it makes your sense of fulfullment and success less attached on a particular outcome and more on the overall progress.
@@JenniferBrickoh detachement keeps me motivated at work...
@@JenniferBrickre-watch the video to understand better... You are getting it all wrong..
@@ucheezeonu6699 I don't think I need to rewatch the video I made to know what I said.
Enjoyed this, Jennifer.
Thank you for creating. ❤
Great video! ❤❤
Thank you!
Detachment is actually a maladaptive coping method. I think that as adults we should take responsibility, and I am not sure if a recommendation to detach is very wise. Ignorance is not bliss. For children it's a different story, they often have no choice. One needs to bear in mind that movies and pseudo psychology specialist or motivational coaches often don't have profound knowledge and don't understand the bigger picture. Always look at the source with anything in life is what I've learned.
How do you take responsibility for situations that you aren’t responsible for though? For example, currently at work, a jealous female coworker has spent months scheming behind my back and getting other coworkers to be closer to her, and isolating me. She’s a bully who is covertly trying to get everyone to gang up on me. She’s nice to everyone and also fake nice to my face, but I am aware she does things like organise group chats without me in it, or organise group lunches without inviting me. She’s basically chummying up to everyone through these friendly social moved, except for me. I am aware she’s jealous because she sometimes copies my makeup or style, and also objectively, she is less attractive than I am. She is a pick me who wants to be the centre of attention. We work in a male-dominated office and I can tell that she didn’t like how other coworkers (mostly male) got along with me. What can I take responsibility for? I am not responsible for her insecurities around me leading to her wanting to be the centre of the group and trying to push me out of it. I can’t confront her because obviously she will deny everything and then I will seem like the crazy bad guy. The only thing to do is detach from her stupid games and avoid interacting with her as much as possible. I’ve also distanced myself from other people since they seem to now all be on her side since she has spent so much time manipulating them
@@lightinthedusk That's a big issue in workplaces which I have experienced myself. Of course, you are not responsible for her behavior, and I never implied that. However, I'd suggest you are responsible on how you deal with it aka for yourself. By detaching, which was the topic here, in other words, by ignoring it, wouldn't it be sort of enabling that behavior. You could try to problem solve instead; can you speak about that to anyone, can you confront her ie. tell her you need to speak to her and share that it's not ok and she has to stop? Can you ask to be transferred? You already took a distance from her. A recent example from my life I can share with you, I am currently in a study group, and some member took somebody in that I never approved of (I vetted everyone before to see if it could be a match). She is highly toxic, but everyone seems ok to follow her lead now. Nobody answers my question, while being active in other groups. So, what I'll do now, I will delete this group without explanation and find myself another study partner. I could also detach from that behavior, keep joining these meetings and feel utterly distressed. However, I am choosing not to do this as it's not doing any good for me. Believe me, your feelings matter and your voice counts. I am adding that you may also want to document the incidents and seek to speak to a counsellor or write down your experiences. You have to look after yourself and a toxic workplace may just not be worth it. Maybe you'll be lucky, and she'll leave but sometimes it may just be the best choice for us to move on.
This is great! Thank you!!
I love Samantha ❤
This is a really great video
This is Gold! Thank you for posting.
I'm happy you enjoyed it!
Thank you ❤
So on point ❤❤
Good tip ❤
THANK YOU for this video.
Thank you for hanging to watch it!
Amazing content, Jennifer. Would you consider talking a little bit slower? It is a bit challenging to follow for those of us who are not native speakers.
Sadly, this is me speaking slowly 😬
You can adjust the playback speed too if it helps
Rewatched. 💯
Excellent, excellent video! Thank you!
I happy you liked it!!
You content is good and interesting ! Please try to speak slower. Your fast speed negatively impacts comprehension.
You can change the playback speed.
I'm not a fan of using sex and the city for every situation.
So is Samantha Jones a mix of avoidant and a small bit of narcissism?
💗
Love this. This helps me as a landlord. Renters have repeatedly taken advantage of me and my kindness. This year I have drawn the line and it feels great. If you can't pay the rent, you can't live in my rental. I don't care who in your family died or what's going on in your life. I'm not your friend, I'm a landlord. I've been sick, injured, had deaths in the family and never used that as an excuse to not pay my bills.
RUclips just made me watch 2 minutes of ads and the only ads I could skip was the 2 Donald Trump ads.
At least you could skip the worst ones 😬
It's a bit to much about that movie.
This is good but darn I can't stand S*x and the City and had to put this video on blackout so that I could listen, lol.
I’m in academia where my research is all me. It’s my ideas, my fieldwork, my book project… how the heck do I embody the messages you are sharing ❤ I so want to be Samantha. But I’m so Carrie 🫣 Not in every way, but there’s enough there. I’ll be watching this video a few more times to try to get it through ❤
Focus on finding one thing that resonates most and starting there.