How Chris Distefano Almost Got Expelled from Catholic School

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  • Опубликовано: 10 янв 2022
  • Chris Distefano remembers getting kicked out of his Catholic high school until his dad came in and changed the principal’s mind. (Contains strong language.)
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    #StandUp #ChrisDistefano
    Chris Distefano: Size 38 Waist
    Original airdate: January 18, 2019
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Комментарии • 130

  • @malehlohonolo8463
    @malehlohonolo8463 2 года назад +240

    "Hey buddy, what do you do for a living?"
    "This kid's asking me a thousand questions" 😂😂🤣

  • @wadepulliam3695
    @wadepulliam3695 2 года назад +891

    At least according to his telling of this story on Adam Carolla’s podcast, he was crying because this happened on 9/11/01 and he thought his mother had died in one of the towers. A classmate was laughing at him for crying, so he broke a chair over his head. It’s much funnier if you leave that part out; I’m guessing he figured that out.

    • @rams812
      @rams812 2 года назад +6

      He tells it really well on the honeydew with Ryan sickler too

    • @nophon34
      @nophon34 2 года назад +1

      @Tommaso Urbisci wut was he wearing

    • @MalloryNewcomb
      @MalloryNewcomb 2 года назад +17

      @@nophon34 it’s the way he describes it. That it wasn’t just a big cross necklace but things like “it was chain that was Jesus’ actual height and weight in gold”

    • @MalloryNewcomb
      @MalloryNewcomb 2 года назад +22

      Personally I like it more with the 9/11 part in and part of it was his joking that he was also experimenting with steroids so that was part of why he was so emotional.
      It’s a bit more memorable for me with the personal context of the 9/11 story.

    • @telephantasm4070
      @telephantasm4070 2 года назад +3

      @@MalloryNewcomb That makes the better story, but for a comedy bit, it's too real. I never heard this story before and I laughed out loud at the clip, but when I got down to the comments and read the 9/11 part, it made me angry at the fucking kid who laugh and also at the expulsion, I mean most of us would have reacted like Chris.

  • @williambias3630
    @williambias3630 2 года назад +580

    If you haven't seen this story from his set at the Comedy Cellar, THAT is a hilarious video. Glad to finally see a follow up

    • @infinitytme676
      @infinitytme676 2 года назад +8

      "I'm on steroids" 🤣

    • @gabrielladesantis235
      @gabrielladesantis235 2 года назад +9

      Why do you think he changed it, the other ones so much better

    • @prpapy07
      @prpapy07 2 года назад +8

      This one was so water down from the original.

    • @Succubusisis
      @Succubusisis 2 года назад

      Got a link?

    • @georgecostanza9213
      @georgecostanza9213 2 года назад

      @@Succubusisis ruclips.net/video/LM0V_m3N7I0/видео.html

  • @joelperez9252
    @joelperez9252 2 года назад +187

    I laughed my ass off when he said I tucked it back I'm your little princess hahaha 😂

    • @leoisanerd
      @leoisanerd 2 года назад +4

      Really? You laughed during a stand up comedy show? That is uncommon!

  • @keith3140
    @keith3140 2 года назад +97

    “Asking a thousand f-ng questions” hahaha I grew up in NY and these guys existed. I heard as a kid, “what, you writing a fng book?”

  • @DemitriBrownComedy
    @DemitriBrownComedy 2 года назад +30

    Thanks to Phineas and Ferb, I know that plastic piece at the end of shoelace is called an aglet

    • @vermin913
      @vermin913 Год назад +1

      I learned that from the Simpsons back in the 90's

    • @turkamayne7
      @turkamayne7 11 месяцев назад

      YES!!

  • @mEtAlMaNiAc787
    @mEtAlMaNiAc787 2 года назад +67

    I'm dying. Easy breezy.

    • @allature
      @allature 2 года назад +6

      Beautiful cover girl~

  • @wulfrache
    @wulfrache 2 года назад +35

    My bro got kicked out of public school had to go to Catholic school until HS.

  • @tralala9410
    @tralala9410 2 года назад +48

    If there is a line of 50 comedians.
    This guy stands out.

  • @Francois176
    @Francois176 2 года назад +6

    "Chrissy, lock the door." Was his dad Chazz Palminteri from a bronx tale lol

  • @theodoroskalopedis
    @theodoroskalopedis 2 года назад +45

    The comedy cellar version is 10x better. Im just happy that the crowed enjoyed this.

  • @ravitkeren9496
    @ravitkeren9496 2 года назад +42

    I feel like I just watched Tony Jr. from the sopranos talk about his dad...

  • @GrotrianSeiler
    @GrotrianSeiler 2 года назад +98

    Chris is such a great storyteller Really draws you in. Very funny guy

  • @fluffyfeetbmf
    @fluffyfeetbmf 2 года назад +18

    Called me by my girl name🤣🤣🤣

  • @yannirakko
    @yannirakko 2 года назад +12

    Anyone else hearing The Homeless Pimp losing his mind in the audience? Makes my soul happy.

  • @theceliarose
    @theceliarose 2 года назад +31

    It's funny seeing how his telling of the story has changed over the years. like leaving out that he was crying bc it was 9/11 and his mom worked at the towers,

    • @livefrom201
      @livefrom201 Год назад

      I don’t think it changed, they chopped off that part

  • @TechlinLKP
    @TechlinLKP 2 года назад +13

    I laughed so at this while I was eating that I bit my tongue

  • @mykillmatic
    @mykillmatic 2 года назад +27

    the way he added to this joke is amazing. The way he does it in this bit is also hilarious... chrissy d and Theo von are my 2 favorite comics of all time.

    • @gisellyg
      @gisellyg 2 года назад +1

      Sameee they're both my favorite too

  • @Barbaroossa
    @Barbaroossa 2 года назад +86

    lmao, is his dad a mob boss?

    • @ronik831
      @ronik831 2 года назад +15

      Yep. Mafia

    • @beautifulday1665
      @beautifulday1665 2 года назад +9

      Allegedly ; D

    • @iRepUrMax
      @iRepUrMax 2 года назад +13

      Asking a lot of questions pal.

    • @Francois176
      @Francois176 2 года назад +7

      Not a boss. More likely an enforcer/collector

  • @nickrnmaui
    @nickrnmaui 2 года назад +13

    Chrissy is the best. So funny

  • @flying_nimbus7852
    @flying_nimbus7852 2 года назад +9

    My parents never had my back in school or growing up.....so guess who's going to be all alone in a nursing home lol

    • @EMbosliceN777
      @EMbosliceN777 2 года назад

      Haha this is funny. I agree with you too I feel the same. :)

  • @Barbie_Esther
    @Barbie_Esther Год назад +1

    I love a good lock the door moment

  • @dheerajderodia3817
    @dheerajderodia3817 2 года назад

    Awesome dude

  • @dylanc2516
    @dylanc2516 2 года назад +1

    5:11 "Allen's Aglet Appliance"

  • @exquisitelei
    @exquisitelei Год назад

    Got hipped to him off pandora I love this story lol

  • @justinfelton3148
    @justinfelton3148 2 года назад +1

    This is funny glad I saw it

  • @VictoriaSobocki
    @VictoriaSobocki 2 года назад +1

    Love the bit with the shady, oddly specific jobs!

  • @ninasky7
    @ninasky7 2 года назад +1

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is too funny

  • @noahboutme
    @noahboutme 2 года назад

    Such a funny bit

  • @ristube3319
    @ristube3319 Год назад +2

    I was born September 15, 1979
    Crazy!

  • @TestubeI3aby
    @TestubeI3aby 2 года назад +13

    Chrissy is so damn funny

  • @toddfritz8683
    @toddfritz8683 5 месяцев назад

    Lombardi's twisty shits. 😂

  • @tybenjamin8064
    @tybenjamin8064 2 года назад

    I’m getting real bright burn vibes here😂

  • @SimonTemplarDude
    @SimonTemplarDude Год назад +1

    The way he tells the story on Joe Rogan was really good

  • @cloudbloom
    @cloudbloom 2 года назад

    CHRISSSYYYYYYYYY

  • @drewgormley6933
    @drewgormley6933 Год назад

    Poo on the front is a louis ck joke. Snoopy dad

  • @lisaloki5337
    @lisaloki5337 2 года назад +1

    Oh my goodness what a story. Hehehe

  • @gonasf
    @gonasf 2 года назад +5

    Fr funny

  • @shihtuz
    @shihtuz 2 года назад +2

    Funny ash

  • @keonnewilliams9511
    @keonnewilliams9511 2 года назад

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @collieee2957
    @collieee2957 2 года назад +3

    I’ve heard this a few times and this is still such a great story lol

  • @stevedavies4058
    @stevedavies4058 2 года назад +1

    This guy is hilarious!

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 2 года назад +5

    If the is is NOT true, it’s funny. If it is…not funny and scary.

  • @Dog_eater2412
    @Dog_eater2412 2 года назад +1

    The places that people get poop stains I love it 😂😂😂😂

  • @chrisburton3351
    @chrisburton3351 2 года назад +2

    He’s so funny it’s ridiculous

  • @jayblackston
    @jayblackston 6 месяцев назад

    I love this guy.. I don't love this version of this story lol He tells it much better in smaller settings, in my opinion

    • @tokendaley3218
      @tokendaley3218 4 месяца назад

      The way he tells it on joe Rogan is the best

  • @alexis.........
    @alexis......... 2 года назад +2

    the comedy cellar version is funnier

  • @gabrielruiz219
    @gabrielruiz219 2 года назад

    My dad called my dad

  • @ryansextremegaming
    @ryansextremegaming 2 года назад

    Hey do you know that plastic part on the shoe lace.
    I do that and only that.
    Excuse me. But I have been making shoe laces for 30 years and I don't know you.

  • @rolandtomassi3486
    @rolandtomassi3486 2 года назад +2

    I seen him live snd he was way funnier

  • @oscaradeaza1203
    @oscaradeaza1203 2 года назад

    Bart simpson, alright?😃

  • @jonwalton19
    @jonwalton19 2 года назад +1

    My response would be I think considering what the Catholic Church does to little boys a chair over the head should be overlooked

  • @ben9and1-3rd
    @ben9and1-3rd 2 года назад

    👍🍻

  • @tryin2beehappygolucky431
    @tryin2beehappygolucky431 2 года назад

    😂🤣🤣🙃😊

  • @eyephpmyadmin6988
    @eyephpmyadmin6988 2 года назад +4

    I hope he gets better, he's not funny but he's good at telling a story

  • @jaredpadilla1211
    @jaredpadilla1211 2 года назад

    911 story is better

  • @weOutHereSon
    @weOutHereSon 2 года назад

    This unfunny-mofor got this finally

  • @jack_peters
    @jack_peters Год назад

    This guy is the worst.

  • @sativarosegold3604
    @sativarosegold3604 2 года назад +1

    I don't like the guy but this was ok

  • @gabe1303
    @gabe1303 2 года назад +1

    Dude this joke was funny af before the whole transgender word being a no no

  • @slagwill5599
    @slagwill5599 2 года назад +6

    - yea right. Tough guy story. Clap clap. A guy breaks a chair over someone’s head because he can’t handle words - but doesn’t pay the price because his brute father gains him privilege. Kudos.

    • @AltHistorySports
      @AltHistorySports 2 года назад +22

      hey guys, this guy can't find humor in a comedic story, he's so cool

    • @steffanhymer1285
      @steffanhymer1285 2 года назад +9

      I think there were mitigating circumstances too. It is said he has told this story elsewhere and left some parts out in this version. He was getting laughed at for crying because it was 9/11 and his mom worked in the twin towers. He thought his mother died and some kid was laughing at him.

    • @slagwill5599
      @slagwill5599 2 года назад

      @@steffanhymer1285 - perhaps there’s nuances involved, but I’m not sure how the term “mitigating” would apply here. I think you mean - extenuating circumstances. But still - Breaking a chair over someone’s head Because of being teased? If that were your child I’m sure you would have something to say about it.

    • @steffanhymer1285
      @steffanhymer1285 2 года назад +4

      @@slagwill5599 yeah. If that kid had been laughing about the potential death of his mother and my wife, I would have told my boy good job. Teach that kid either empathy or to watch his mouth. And I would say as much to his parents too if it came down to it. "I'm sorry? Yeah. I'm sorry your son had to learn a hard lesson today."

    • @slagwill5599
      @slagwill5599 2 года назад

      @@steffanhymer1285 -- lol. all bravado. You miss my meaning- had your kid been hit with a chair -- you’’d be bitching like you are now - and you know it. Save the limp talk. Teach your kid to muster the ability to restrain himself and NOT be provoked by mere words. Only a punk - would act out. Like and your son - both… it’s easy to get emotional. True strength is in self-restraint unless it’s a matter of self defense - making fun of you, or your dead wife/husband doesn’t justify. We all die - it’s life - control
      emotions about it.

  • @wutflex
    @wutflex 2 года назад +3

    The transvestite name is better. Girl name...... Corny

  • @ambrossmbunga4664
    @ambrossmbunga4664 2 года назад +2

    I VOTED FOR TRUMP

    • @margotknorman
      @margotknorman 2 года назад +4

      Who tf cares

    • @fromthehaven94
      @fromthehaven94 2 года назад +2

      Not sure if that's a good thing to share, or to admit to.

    • @ambrossmbunga4664
      @ambrossmbunga4664 2 года назад

      @@fromthehaven94 why wouldn’t it be a good thing to share? I hope you’re for free speech? Because your statement sounds as if you want me not share my thoughts?

    • @ambrossmbunga4664
      @ambrossmbunga4664 2 года назад

      @@margotknorman you cared enough to respond so that’s a good thing 😁

    • @cinnamonfairyfluff
      @cinnamonfairyfluff 2 года назад +3

      @@ambrossmbunga4664 weird thing to comment under a comedy video. Nobody's here to talk politics.

  • @connormclaughlin6955
    @connormclaughlin6955 2 года назад

    This is degenerate swill. Not funny. And he said he didn't want todo comedy?

  • @YakimaBob
    @YakimaBob Год назад +1

    What a BS story!!!

  • @anonymous-cx7ng
    @anonymous-cx7ng 2 года назад +4

    Not funny at all and being a girl is not a joke

    • @SCOODAMcGOODA
      @SCOODAMcGOODA 2 года назад +6

      lmfao. you are part of the problem

    • @connorgriffin342
      @connorgriffin342 2 года назад +7

      @@SCOODAMcGOODA this is what is ruining comedy

    • @malehlohonolo8463
      @malehlohonolo8463 2 года назад +5

      You need a sense of humor, I'm a girl and that was hilarious😂😂😂🤣 replayed it more than twice

    • @tyhughs2333
      @tyhughs2333 2 года назад +6

      Lighten up buttercup

    • @thatguythere6161
      @thatguythere6161 2 года назад +2

      Cool. You got so upset about one joke you disliked that you forgot the rest of the video existed.

  • @RR-jz7kc
    @RR-jz7kc 2 года назад +3

    Not funny, making jokes about a father and a son bullying people without consequences

    • @MatthewP1991
      @MatthewP1991 2 года назад +25

      I know this is personal for you, but this is stand up dude, jokes, people saying stuff to be funny, might be true, but that's life, it happened already, so he turns it into a funny story, you shouldn't watch stand up if you can't handle jokes, watch YT kids or sth instead of you want family friendly content

    • @ford1chevy2dodge3
      @ford1chevy2dodge3 Год назад

      What about the dude who got a chair broke over his head for laughing at someone who just found out his mother died? In this case she didn’t, but in his mind, he thought she was dead since she worked in the twin towers, and it was 9/11. Clear the air a bit?

  • @Kenstar365
    @Kenstar365 2 года назад +10

    The full story is even funnier! Would highly recommend ruclips.net/video/LM0V_m3N7I0/видео.html .... glad he's performing this bit