I assure you it was bad before social media, especially in small towns far away from even medium-sized metropolitan areas. In fact, I'll say that social media *if used correctly* can be liberating, namely if you use it to find out what your authentic interests are, find a good well-monitored online community, and learn as much about the hobby you can.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you at school, after all? You’ll most probably never see those people again in your life. So relax. Nothing remains the same. Things change all the time.
That's not what he is talking about. of course, these are not the people that influence us, this is our likability and status. People can come and go, but the feeling our likability and status give us - they stay.
uhh how so if people would be normal then they would not be hated on there are to many losers and weird people all over the place today makes me sick. long live popularity!
I've noticed that a lot of the cool kids back in high school became nobodies in the once they joined real world. And, the nobodies back in high school became the doctors, lawyers, and such. Also, I've noticed that a lot the popular kids back in high school, they tend not to move too far from the nest and often live and die in the same hometown where they went to high school at.
So very true. I grew up in a small town and it seemed that the popular kids tended to stay behind after high school, while the rest of us moved on to bigger and better things. Those "cool" kids were too busy partying, living life as though they were invincible until reality hit them in their adulthood. Suddenly, they aren't so cool anymore. Some of us had goals in life, worked hard to achieve them and became successful. There was a saying when I was a teenager and I remember it to this day: "Be careful of the nerd you bully, because some day you may be working for them."
What is this ' cool' kid? This tendency to even divide kids as cool and uncool is one of the root causes of bullying.. Shouldnt all kids be cool unless they are real jerks harming others because most of them are innocent?
I am still traumatized by the rejection by my close friends and bullying by those who valued status. I am shedding my defense mechanisms every year but, the memories still feel bitter
I'm 30 this year, and I can't remember anyone but the people I was friends with in High School, and even them I don't really care to remember. Popularity was only important if you had no confidence or cared that much about what others thought about you when you were growing up.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. There should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
In my opinion high school popularity leads to dissatisfaction and failure due to complacency/overconfidence later in life, especially for men. And on the other side we see people like Elon Musk, who achieve phenomenal success simply because they struggled early on to get that kind of attention and respect, which fuels them for success later in life! 🔥
@@karltoontv This is not always the case. I was one of the least popular people in school. Even the teachers couldn't stand me. And now? I'm a massive failure. Elon Musk I am not!
@@rgraph Lol, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't laugh but it's just the way you said it... Whew, anyway, why do you think that is? Is there something you can do (or already did ) to be more likable? In my opinion, it's not that difficult. Just fake a genuine interest in people. The key is to appear genuine. Unfortunately it is a lot of work. It's much easier to reprogram your brain to really like people.
@@rgraph I don't know what you've been struggling but the positive minds and believe in yourself can't be lost from you. Each one of us have our own role in this life so keep ur chin up! 💪💕
I was unpopular and bullied A LOT in high school. I had social anxiety and just didn't know how to fit in anywhere. It was a horrible time for me but now in my mid-twenties I can say I'm in a much better place. I have incredible friends, I'm accomplished and tend to get along with most people. Who I was in HS and who I am now is night and day. I truly believe unpopular kids have a unique motivation to be greater in life post-graduation.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. In addition to no bullying awareness campaigns there should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
I am 18, still in high school, and not particularly popular as my views differ from practically everyone... do I care about it though? Absolutely not. I am happy living the life I am living. Besides high school popularity and nurturing it only matters to those who have nothing better to do at that age
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups.. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues.
I was super popular in high school. Probably the most popular guy in school. I was also captain of the hockey team. I had the most gorgeous girlfriend that ended up marrying. I am going to be turning 40 in December this year and let me tell you something. While these years may seem super important to you right now, everything changes. I'm divorced with two kids and I actually feel quite unpopular these days. If you want to be cool find a goal you want to accomplish that's worthy and Noble and then spend every waking moment working towards that accomplishment. This will make you far more than cool. It'll make you fulfilled.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. There should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
Whenever I am presented with this type of "evidence" about behaviour and society it comforts me to know that whilst the average person seems to simply be a sheep, I chose early in life to not associate with people who are easily influenced and always chasing the latest trend. It wasn't a concious choice, that's just the way I am, I prefer to make my own judgements rather than putting faith in what the masses believe and just blindly accepting that as fact. Social interactions exhaust me, including social media, so I very seldom post anything. I have to be very selective in terms of who I give up my time for. I don't really remember anyone from high school, and I certainly don't think that likeability has had anything to do with my success. On the contrary, it's very inefficient to spend a single moment worrying about what other people think of me when I could apply that thought to something more productive!
Very interesting talk! Such an important topic, especially for the younger generation who is forming their understanding of relationships through tech first (in many instances). I spent some time with a group of girls half my age recently, and was surprised to find that the entire conversation was dominated by how many likes their recent posts were getting on Instagram. It was the whole basis of the conversation for the better part of an hour. It wasn't only about Instagram, but the substance and direction of the conversation was completely framed by the interpretation of their posts from their network (liked or not liked), and that was the baseline reality for them, and the source and framing behind the entire broader conversation. Understanding the difference between likability and popularity is important on so many levels.
What a combo of studies most people that study sociology heard about and ... wait, that's all. That's the video in a nutshell.Being likeable is ok, it keeps you healthy in body and mind, having status is not and highschool status is not corelated with anything good while likeability is. Here, saved 10 minutes of your lifetime.
Yes it does. Because you stay the same person in some way. You and your personality were formed as kid and in puberty and it's one of the hardest things to change what you made what you are.
Trym Hovland In some ways yes it does influence a person. But if it really bothers you that you weren’t cool in high school than you have some deep rooted insecurity issues. As cliche as it sounds, no one is really worrying about what type of person you were in high school, so why should you. Your mind changes every 7 years remember that.
This is rich stuff and I hope many many more can listen and grow from it. Thanks........ "Everyday we have an opportunity to make a choice. Science tells us that the best way to achieve happiness and success is not to make the choice to try and increase our standing above all others in our society, but to do what we can to make everyone feel welcome and included in our herd." ~ Mitch Prinstein ~
My school life was full of ups and down my first half of junior school I was left out I did not have any friends in the second half of junior school and the whole period of middle school I was popular in my class (not school) everyone in my class wanted to be my friend they would come to me if they had any problems after middle school 8 changed school and their I was bullied and left out though I had a friend but that friend failed and I was left alone and my other friend was in a different class I used to talk to kids in my class but they were bland conversations and it affected me really badly emotionally . After completion of my school I got into a college I still had insecurities in me but they went away after a year because I met really good people in my college . All the schools I had been to and the college had a very different environment. What I learned from. This experience is that we are alone not responsible for our likeability and dislikability . The people around us also contribute to it . So if you see a kid being bullied help them even if they are not helping them do not let the bullies do what they want . It's not right to encourage war to make your military strong
Finally I found another subtantial reason that my views are justifiable.. here in different part of the world, I am one of those who totally agree with this explanation..
Popularity= be hot and presumptuous, haughty, conceited, use bad language, get into trouble frequently, also treat ppl of lower class with contempt , otherwise you're dull
Woah is this the case in west? Because here in my school(India) everyone is evaluated by (a) grades and (b) looks everything else is not taken in the context.
barszczpop no but it’s true. This guy makes several assumptions which makes me doubt his scientific evidence he provides. For instance, he attributed social behaviour to the development of speech. However, herd behaviour can be noticed in social animals without such complex communication cues that comes with language, such as in some small fishes and birds. Humans were social animals before language was developed because we can communicate with simpler, non-verbal cues. Language simply made it easier to communicate.
I agree with what this guy is saying but I can't help pointing out this major oversight. My cat won't leave me alone. It's sleeping in my lap right now. Is say it's definitely social even though it's never spoke to me.
As a junior in High School, I can now say that popularity is very overrated. All of those people you were trying to impress, you're never ever going to see again. This is tough for adolescence to accept but you will have to not give a damn about people's opinions since that's what messes up your brain. and please don't continue to please people because you'll keep on losing yourself to peers who could be careless about losing you. It's better to have real friends in a group of 2-4 instead of having a hundred fake ones. A student who doesn't even care about it will end up having a happier life than those who fail to be themselves in the long run.
6:55 Okay it should be a crime to fire or dump people. This is causing emotional trauma which is the same as physical trauma. Words hurt, ask our Canadian brethren who actually put a stop to hateful speak.
At 31, I realized that most of the friends I affiliated with towards the end of high school were pretty terrible people. I was an athlete but still was was involved in other activities that were deemed "nerdy" like orchestra and the biomedical academy. Now all the popular athletes in high school have basic, average paying jobs, like real estate agents, non-ap teachers, c-list actors/rappers/DJ’s and living paycheck to paycheck. while the nerds are doctors, engineers, scientists, business professionals etc. now I wish I would have made stronger connections with the nerds because the popular kids in high school just grow up to be bigger assholes than they were in high school
To complete this, how does highschool popularity correlate with the beauty index of your spouse normalized that there have been no STD's or abortions between the spouses?
Popularity may or may not have something to do with your economic success - but something that for sure has a big effect is how rich, educated and privileged your family is. Studies have shown that wealth tends to replicate itself in successive generations.
*sigh* I was the kid who was bullied at 16 for being different, not being likable and shunned for focusing on studies instead of acquiring status. What about me then?
Blaze your own trail. This is food for thought. Many people rise above statistic. Motivation -- inner drive, ambition, and what is behind it all are greater contributors, whether popular in high school or not. Good luck in your endeavors !
He did say at the end that the popular status types did not fare that well later in life. Drugs, depression, etc. They’re still putting on a fake image as adults.
Psychologist like to think they are doing science, but they (like several times in this talk) are always getting confused between correlation and causation. Don't take this stuff to seriously.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. In addition to no bullying awareness campaigns there should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
It seems like in order to move up in the world that being likeable and smart on your feet are basically the only two traits to move up in the world. I noticed a lot of people in management positions are extremely likeable. Unfortunately the ones who aren't are usually female. It's sexist I know but for some reason women getting power and they can become extremely vicious.
I’m 17 a rising senior, I don’t know if I’m popular or not I have a lot of friends in school but I only hangout with 3 people like once or twice a month outside of school
Most of the outcasts in school are becoming successful people when they grow up. Most of the popular kids/bullies in school are ending up as a security in supermarket. Just count how many of the people you admire now were losers in school and how many of them were popular (your dad doesn't count). So what I said is a fact, not an opinion!
While I agree with the premise of the video, a lot of the conclusions he draws are from correlation and not direct causation. This dude missed the mark on that front.
Shame he didn't tie this all together. The talk appeared to focus on the shock statistic that men who were taller at 16 go onto earn more money but is the suggestion that this is because they tended to have more status or were more likeable or some other reason?
the popular kids in my high school were also the rich kids... so who cares if they aren't gifted. They'll get good jobs and retain their status anyway ha ha ha
Your Ted talk was very annoying to me just let you know and I am not popular at least I wasn’t in high school so popularity doesn’t matter to me OK. Oh and you just have to roll with the punches in life if someone doesn’t find you popular than yeah oh and one more thing being unpopular doesn’t lead to the grave OK so your facts R wrong 😑 I’m sorry but they are wrong!
I was a complete loner all throughout school and for some reason I feel like it’s completely my fault now (of course it was always partially my fault). I feel like I’m doomed now. 👀
having social anxiety in high school is almost like a death sentence
For me, the best way to deal with it was to have a different life outside of HS. A part time job and the people I met there changed my life.
Robin Morris same here. But there's still something about walking down a high school hallway that just gives me the heebie jeebies
There’s no truer sentence than that.
chellegotwings not really I have it and I make it work I’m always trying my best to be social
Tell me about it
Social media makes people more concern about that "status" popularity, and it's horrible.
Melissa Shasmira Wijaya Its the virtual reality, not real.
It is not new.
I assure you it was bad before social media, especially in small towns far away from even medium-sized metropolitan areas. In fact, I'll say that social media *if used correctly* can be liberating, namely if you use it to find out what your authentic interests are, find a good well-monitored online community, and learn as much about the hobby you can.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you at school, after all? You’ll most probably never see those people again in your life. So relax. Nothing remains the same. Things change all the time.
ll विनी शर्मा ll thank you
This is true! And high school kids aren't always the best judges of a person's real character. It does get better.
now that popularity in high school transfers into social media and you get to live with your popularity rate till you some how change it yay
@@user-insight but that doesnt mean they will care about you or your post after an extent :)
That's not what he is talking about. of course, these are not the people that influence us, this is our likability and status. People can come and go, but the feeling our likability and status give us - they stay.
bulliying traumatizes people for life..
No
So does abandonment
uhh how so if people would be normal then they would not be hated on there are to many losers and weird people all over the place today makes me sick. long live popularity!
@@Hannah-uq1ft wow you..sound so shallow and narcissistic
@@Hannah-uq1ft Define "Normal"
I've noticed that a lot of the cool kids back in high school became nobodies in the once they joined real world. And, the nobodies back in high school became the doctors, lawyers, and such. Also, I've noticed that a lot the popular kids back in high school, they tend not to move too far from the nest and often live and die in the same hometown where they went to high school at.
So very true. I grew up in a small town and it seemed that the popular kids tended to stay behind after high school, while the rest of us moved on to bigger and better things. Those "cool" kids were too busy partying, living life as though they were invincible until reality hit them in their adulthood. Suddenly, they aren't so cool anymore. Some of us had goals in life, worked hard to achieve them and became successful. There was a saying when I was a teenager and I remember it to this day: "Be careful of the nerd you bully, because some day you may be working for them."
Once we graduate, were all nobodies. It's up to us to become a somebody. Leaving the caste system that is high school is a clean slate.
What is this ' cool' kid? This tendency to even divide kids as cool and uncool is one of the root causes of bullying.. Shouldnt all kids be cool unless they are real jerks harming others because most of them are innocent?
I am still traumatized by the rejection by my close friends and bullying by those who valued status. I am shedding my defense mechanisms every year but, the memories still feel bitter
I'm 30 this year, and I can't remember anyone but the people I was friends with in High School, and even them I don't really care to remember. Popularity was only important if you had no confidence or cared that much about what others thought about you when you were growing up.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. There should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
In my opinion high school popularity leads to dissatisfaction and failure due to complacency/overconfidence later in life, especially for men. And on the other side we see people like Elon Musk, who achieve phenomenal success simply because they struggled early on to get that kind of attention and respect, which fuels them for success later in life! 🔥
Yea, I agree.
@@karltoontv This is not always the case. I was one of the least popular people in school. Even the teachers couldn't stand me. And now? I'm a massive failure. Elon Musk I am not!
No one wants to be a peak 17.
@@rgraph Lol, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't laugh but it's just the way you said it... Whew, anyway, why do you think that is? Is there something you can do (or already did ) to be more likable? In my opinion, it's not that difficult. Just fake a genuine interest in people. The key is to appear genuine. Unfortunately it is a lot of work. It's much easier to reprogram your brain to really like people.
@@rgraph I don't know what you've been struggling but the positive minds and believe in yourself can't be lost from you. Each one of us have our own role in this life so keep ur chin up! 💪💕
I was unpopular and bullied A LOT in high school. I had social anxiety and just didn't know how to fit in anywhere. It was a horrible time for me but now in my mid-twenties I can say I'm in a much better place. I have incredible friends, I'm accomplished and tend to get along with most people. Who I was in HS and who I am now is night and day. I truly believe unpopular kids have a unique motivation to be greater in life post-graduation.
Not everyone read one of the comments above he said he got bullied in high school and he said he is a massive failure
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. In addition to no bullying awareness campaigns there should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
I am 18, still in high school, and not particularly popular as my views differ from practically everyone... do I care about it though? Absolutely not. I am happy living the life I am living. Besides high school popularity and nurturing it only matters to those who have nothing better to do at that age
I totally agree I was waiting for some one to say it.
Well said, focus on you. Popularity means nothing in the real world. It's not gonna get you into college or give you a high paying job.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups.. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues.
To anyone reading this, you’re welcome in my herd.
Cool let me marry your daughter
Jim meh i don’t have a daughter?
Thank you, sir.
Enigma The INFJ I’m not a man lol
@@collagecult Me too😅
I was super popular in high school. Probably the most popular guy in school. I was also captain of the hockey team. I had the most gorgeous girlfriend that ended up marrying. I am going to be turning 40 in December this year and let me tell you something. While these years may seem super important to you right now, everything changes. I'm divorced with two kids and I actually feel quite unpopular these days. If you want to be cool find a goal you want to accomplish that's worthy and Noble and then spend every waking moment working towards that accomplishment. This will make you far more than cool. It'll make you fulfilled.
Yes!!
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. There should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
Are you super popular in college or the workplace?
@@adelinebettityy2720 I was
Whenever I am presented with this type of "evidence" about behaviour and society it comforts me to know that whilst the average person seems to simply be a sheep, I chose early in life to not associate with people who are easily influenced and always chasing the latest trend. It wasn't a concious choice, that's just the way I am, I prefer to make my own judgements rather than putting faith in what the masses believe and just blindly accepting that as fact.
Social interactions exhaust me, including social media, so I very seldom post anything. I have to be very selective in terms of who I give up my time for. I don't really remember anyone from high school, and I certainly don't think that likeability has had anything to do with my success. On the contrary, it's very inefficient to spend a single moment worrying about what other people think of me when I could apply that thought to something more productive!
how about aspiring to be happier and more at peace with ourselves and the others? i m kinda tired running for status...
Being popular is way too exhausting.
Same here.
Very interesting talk! Such an important topic, especially for the younger generation who is forming their understanding of relationships through tech first (in many instances). I spent some time with a group of girls half my age recently, and was surprised to find that the entire conversation was dominated by how many likes their recent posts were getting on Instagram. It was the whole basis of the conversation for the better part of an hour. It wasn't only about Instagram, but the substance and direction of the conversation was completely framed by the interpretation of their posts from their network (liked or not liked), and that was the baseline reality for them, and the source and framing behind the entire broader conversation. Understanding the difference between likability and popularity is important on so many levels.
What a combo of studies most people that study sociology heard about and ... wait, that's all. That's the video in a nutshell.Being likeable is ok, it keeps you healthy in body and mind, having status is not and highschool status is not corelated with anything good while likeability is. Here, saved 10 minutes of your lifetime.
Before I watch....I hate to say it, but. Yes.
Tim Boland no it really doesn’t bro wtf have some fuckin confidence
Yes it does. Because you stay the same person in some way. You and your personality were formed as kid and in puberty and it's one of the hardest things to change what you made what you are.
Trym Hovland In some ways yes it does influence a person. But if it really bothers you that you weren’t cool in high school than you have some deep rooted insecurity issues. As cliche as it sounds, no one is really worrying about what type of person you were in high school, so why should you. Your mind changes every 7 years remember that.
Trym Hovland that’s what losers say. Nothing is permanent, man up.
This is rich stuff and I hope many many more can listen and grow from it. Thanks........ "Everyday we have an opportunity to make a choice. Science tells us that the best way to achieve happiness and success is not to make the choice to try and increase our standing above all others in our society, but to do what we can to make everyone feel welcome and included in our herd." ~ Mitch Prinstein ~
My school life was full of ups and down my first half of junior school I was left out I did not have any friends in the second half of junior school and the whole period of middle school I was popular in my class (not school) everyone in my class wanted to be my friend they would come to me if they had any problems after middle school 8 changed school and their I was bullied and left out though I had a friend but that friend failed and I was left alone and my other friend was in a different class I used to talk to kids in my class but they were bland conversations and it affected me really badly emotionally . After completion of my school I got into a college I still had insecurities in me but they went away after a year because I met really good people in my college . All the schools I had been to and the college had a very different environment. What I learned from. This experience is that we are alone not responsible for our likeability and dislikability . The people around us also contribute to it . So if you see a kid being bullied help them even if they are not helping them do not let the bullies do what they want . It's not right to encourage war to make your military strong
Who is watching this comment have good day..
Aww, thanks! ♥️
u too buddy
I am. You have a wonderful day!
Finally I found another subtantial reason that my views are justifiable.. here in different part of the world, I am one of those who totally agree with this explanation..
I feel like I don’t have personality. I just do what ever everyone is doing. I don’t know what I really like
Hmmmm....this talk is definitely good food for thought
Popularity= be hot and presumptuous, haughty, conceited, use bad language, get into trouble frequently, also treat ppl of lower class with contempt , otherwise you're dull
Woah is this the case in west? Because here in my school(India) everyone is evaluated by (a) grades and (b) looks everything else is not taken in the context.
I’m unpopular and it rlly hurts but I’m trying to see the positive sides in it
I tried to be nice but still can't engage a full lively conversation :( tried to fake it,it works,but i got exhausted.
You don't have to fake it, be your true self. You will meet someone like you and become friends😊😊
If you're wondering why his voice is so raspy, just remember Nevada is all desert.
Never judge a man by his voice...lesson learnt today
Can't wait to hear this.
I was always the smallest and got bullied, around age 16 I shot up in height and got revenge. I'm so happy now lol
I was always the smallest as well. By age 21, I haven't grown since I was 15. I never got my revenge. :(
Revenge is not the way
Same here was 4’11 in 7th grade now I’m 5’7 in 10th grade and still growing
Julian 5”7 is short
We were a social species prior to speech.
barszczpop no but it’s true. This guy makes several assumptions which makes me doubt his scientific evidence he provides. For instance, he attributed social behaviour to the development of speech. However, herd behaviour can be noticed in social animals without such complex communication cues that comes with language, such as in some small fishes and birds. Humans were social animals before language was developed because we can communicate with simpler, non-verbal cues. Language simply made it easier to communicate.
I agree with what this guy is saying but I can't help pointing out this major oversight. My cat won't leave me alone. It's sleeping in my lap right now. Is say it's definitely social even though it's never spoke to me.
As a junior in High School, I can now say that popularity is very overrated. All of those people you were trying to impress, you're never ever going to see again. This is tough for adolescence to accept but you will have to not give a damn about people's opinions since that's what messes up your brain. and please don't continue to please people because you'll keep on losing yourself to peers who could be careless about losing you. It's better to have real friends in a group of 2-4 instead of having a hundred fake ones. A student who doesn't even care about it will end up having a happier life than those who fail to be themselves in the long run.
6:55 Okay it should be a crime to fire or dump people. This is causing emotional trauma which is the same as physical trauma.
Words hurt, ask our Canadian brethren who actually put a stop to hateful speak.
4:12 "those who lacked close and supportive relationships were twice as likely to die"
Untrue. Everyone has a 100% likelihood of dying
Wow i needed to hear that
Popularity has to do with inclusion? The inclusion of the popular group. The outcasts are easily put down.
Great great great talk!! Thank you so much
Correlation doesn’t equal causation
At 31, I realized that most of the friends I affiliated with towards the end of high school were pretty terrible people. I was an athlete but still was was involved in other activities that were deemed "nerdy" like orchestra and the biomedical academy. Now all the popular athletes in high school have basic, average paying jobs, like real estate agents, non-ap teachers, c-list actors/rappers/DJ’s and living paycheck to paycheck. while the nerds are doctors, engineers, scientists, business professionals etc. now I wish I would have made stronger connections with the nerds because the popular kids in high school just grow up to be bigger assholes than they were in high school
To complete this, how does highschool popularity correlate with the beauty index of your spouse normalized that there have been no STD's or abortions between the spouses?
Popularity may or may not have something to do with your economic success - but something that for sure has a big effect is how rich, educated and privileged your family is. Studies have shown that wealth tends to replicate itself in successive generations.
*sigh* I was the kid who was bullied at 16 for being different, not being likable and shunned for focusing on studies instead of acquiring status. What about me then?
Nancy K sounds familiar
Blaze your own trail. This is food for thought. Many people rise above statistic. Motivation -- inner drive, ambition, and what is behind it all are greater contributors, whether popular in high school or not. Good luck in your endeavors !
He did say at the end that the popular status types did not fare that well later in life. Drugs, depression, etc. They’re still putting on a fake image as adults.
Psychologist like to think they are doing science, but they (like several times in this talk) are always getting confused between correlation and causation.
Don't take this stuff to seriously.
'Popular Kids' is a construct mostly created by kids of White people in developed countries (and which caught on to other groups in these countries) .. Kids in schools in developing countries are just excited to go to school and be with their friends. No 'popularity' or 'out of your league' BS.. It is also to be noted that one of the root cause of bullying is also primarily letting the kids dividing themselves into popular and unpopular groups (such as 'nerds'.. its unfathomable how these countries that consider themselves to have great education systems let kids create derogatory terms for smart kids rather than encouraging them).. The adults in these countries have also failed these kids by not doing enough to instill a sense of unity among kids in these places leading to Teenage depression issues. In addition to no bullying awareness campaigns there should be work shops that teach kids 'All kids are popular' and 'All kids are cool'. But hey even the adults are traumatized by the effects of bullying from their childhoods.. and the cycle continues..
Underrated video
The talk was like a bad self help book. Talks about something we all already know as if it's new then offer no solutions or techniques.
you gotta buy whatever he's peddling for the solutions
Such a great speaker I like his way of talking
It seems like in order to move up in the world that being likeable and smart on your feet are basically the only two traits to move up in the world.
I noticed a lot of people in management positions are extremely likeable. Unfortunately the ones who aren't are usually female. It's sexist I know but for some reason women getting power and they can become extremely vicious.
That was a great video
I’m 17 a rising senior, I don’t know if I’m popular or not I have a lot of friends in school but I only hangout with 3 people like once or twice a month outside of school
I still haven't watched the video but the title sort of triggered something. Lol.
Most of the outcasts in school are becoming successful people when they grow up.
Most of the popular kids/bullies in school are ending up as a security in supermarket.
Just count how many of the people you admire now were losers in school and how many of them were popular (your dad doesn't count). So what I said is a fact, not an opinion!
Tru
ok but who else is getting Rami Malek vibes?
lol
Was thinking the same thing 😂
Where I live, "high school popularity" isn't really a thing? Or at least I think it isn't
its who you know
Yes
Does highschool popularity correlate with lifetime earnings?
While I agree with the premise of the video, a lot of the conclusions he draws are from correlation and not direct causation. This dude missed the mark on that front.
In a related question does highschool popularity correlate with lifetime aggregate wealth?
I'm taller than I was at 16, but taller than average in either case. DIdn't help with money.
Good ic
For a lifetime, probably
Does someone have the studies he cites in the video?
Great
I believe school experiences affects at some extend επισης κανω επιστημονικα βιντεο οποιος θελει ας ριξει μια ματια
Shame he didn't tie this all together. The talk appeared to focus on the shock statistic that men who were taller at 16 go onto earn more money but is the suggestion that this is because they tended to have more status or were more likeable or some other reason?
the popular kids in my high school were also the rich kids... so who cares if they aren't gifted. They'll get good jobs and retain their status anyway ha ha ha
Lol who else can pick up that constant twitch in his arms😂
is it me or his voice sounds different than in the Coursera online course!!?
high school popularity
very nice
My father has spent lakhs of rupees for schools from 1980 to 2006,if he had saved the same money in the bank ?
1 year ago
Im popular, becouze its difficult for me to shut it, but im always Nice and im saying hi to whoever comes across me
My friends are almost never in my gym unit, and I’m always alone. Does that mean I’m not likable?
No, it means you are in HS surrounded by other kids that are also confused, struggling, etc. Chill. It gets a lot better in the real world.
No
So many videos about the same thing.
What's up with the left arm of the speaker?
Buya 248 omg wtf I can’t unsee it
The short answer is no
The long answer is no
If you watched then you would know that the long answer is actually yes
Abonnes Merc
popularity=job
Taller man makes more money than shorter men? Putin, mukesh ambani etc etc
It is an average, not an absolute.
Haha good point bro!
Except Lurch
I thought that was misleading as well. But he did say it was in high school.
@@awakekate3064 0:48 it turns out men's height...
tall short money..jackma only 5ft is a billioner
He is .0000000001%
Omg all the short guys about to be majorly triggered
Nah this is wrong all the populair people wear the meanest people ever, I
This video attacked me. And no doctor can help.
this.
"I have 'several' questions" -Jontron
Oh, you're a social outcast? You might as well take up ciggaretes.
shake time god damnit
Your Ted talk was very annoying to me just let you know and I am not popular at least I wasn’t in high school so popularity doesn’t matter to me OK. Oh and you just have to roll with the punches in life if someone doesn’t find you popular than yeah oh and one more thing being unpopular doesn’t lead to the grave OK so your facts R wrong 😑 I’m sorry but they are wrong!
Sub pole
Except for the part about evolution, this sound like the Bible. Hmm. How similar.
Bruh how
2nd comment
second
First
Did you mean *annoying* ?
Great research interesting suff shame Darwin's theory of evolution wasn't researched as much as everything else.. may have found some big flaws...
I was a complete loner all throughout school and for some reason I feel like it’s completely my fault now (of course it was always partially my fault). I feel like I’m doomed now. 👀