I'm also autistic and I wouldn't call it impostor syndrome as I see myself more as an unsure person with a lot of doubt who is hesitant to say they are trans but probably also not cis. I don't know what gender dysphoria is other than feeling mildly uncomfortable with my body shape, it feels comparable to being dissapointed when you notice you've gained weight. It feels more like dissapointment about not having the most appealing appearance. I just feel like there's feelings/sensations trans men are supposed to have and I don't have those trans feelings or the sensations, even if I'm happy with short looking hair, with seeing a guy's face in the mirror, using he/they, I don't have a feeling like "I'm trans" or "I'm in the wrong body" or anything.
@@Stick_and_stone There are places on the gender spectrum besides male/female, which you probably know because you use they as well. There is also gender fluid, we slide from one area on that spectrum to another, without wanting to, sometimes without realizing. One day he/him pronouns are perfect, the next (or the next hour, or minute) it doesn't fit. It's confusing af, even when living it. As someone who came out as trans much later in life (mid to late 40s) I worried a lot about the dysphoria thing. And thanks to some other trans folk I follow, I started concentrating on gender euphoria instead, as our author here talks about at ruclips.net/video/L6yrB2Clh1k/видео.html. Look at the things that work better for you, the things that make you feel comfortable and at home in regard to gender. It's perfectly ok to take time to figure out who you are. As you settle into who you are, you will feel more comfortable being who you are. And that can take time too, so don't rush yourself.
Ler me help both of you... you are both imposters if your refuse to accept who you really are born as.. finally accept your born gender... look between your legs .. that's your first clue. 🎉
I’ve recently (literally two days ago) realized that I am trans (ftm). I’m kind of a weird case bc I don’t feel dysphoria from my body or appearance in general it’s more about how other people perceive me. That was the reason I didn’t think I was trans for a long time. And then one night I just started really thinking about it. Why did I feel like she/her pronouns didn’t belong to me when I heard them? Why did I feel pressure to be super feminine? Why was the idea of feeling my hair being short so appealing? It’s been a weird journey.
Omg, I relate so much. Recently(month ish) I realized myself and it kinda clicked(mtf). I was doubting myself a lot more, tbh it's alot to take in. Also, I grew up in a very traditional conservative post soviet union country with a very toxically masculine mindset. Homophobia and transphobia are common asf, and I barely knew anything about lgbtq+ for most of my life till recently (24yo now). I always felt off, and shitty about myself and my appearance, till I decided to grow out my hair and paint my nails and such. So funny in retrospect, I basically almost transitioned without realizing I'm trans. I still doubt myself, and there's still leftover transphobia and fear+ pressure from the society, so I'm still kinda in a closet/egg. I don't feel much dysphoria about my body, but the same as you, about perception of other people, so the imposter feeling is there. But I can't wait to move countries so I can be myself without fear, and truly explore my identity, hope you find your way too
See I was kind of the complete opposite. I never had any real social dysphoria, it was all physical. I was in denial about it being that I wanted a woman's body, I just hated the body I had. Once I started taking hormones and asking some people close to me to start using she/they pronouns, I began getting real euphoria from it, as opposed to dysphoria. I'm 3 and half months into medical transition, and I'm about ready to start fully socially transitioning. The day I realized I was trans was like 6 months ago. Theres a clear wall between how I felt then and how I feel now. I had to move forward. I have to keep moving forward, its all that keeps me going now, and I don't know how I made it 27 years without realizing this part of me, or how I made it without it
Dysphoria comes in different ways and physicaly dysphoria is not the only type of dysphoria. Feeling wrong with your perception of yourself and the perception of other over you is actually dysphoria. Also there's the fact that sometimes things like trauma and other life problems can make you feel like you don't experience physical dysphoria when you actually do, that was my case at least.
Omg I cried while watching this. For the past 5 years I have been fighting to figure out what I was. I grew up in a very Christian house hold and my mother had a very tight grip on everything I ever saw. (Homeschooling, no magic shows or movies, a monthly talk about homosexuality etc.) When I was growing up, I loved dresses and painting my nails and I was excited to wear bras. And that made me think that there's no WAY I'm trans! Then why do I physically cringe whenever she/her is involved? Why do I stand in front of the mirror trying my hardest to make my chest flatter? For the last few months I was so doubtful that I tricked myself into thinking that i was trying so hard to "act trans" and that I just... learned to hate certain things? Typing that out make me realize how silly it sounds. I have heard it said that "you're not trans unless you feel like a boy inside." But for me, there isn't a way for me to "feel like a boy" when I don't look like one. The idea of being a boy makes me absolutely giddy. Like, my heart literally flutters. Another big thing that I struggle with is what if it IS just a phase? What if I grow out of it and look back and say "Wow, glad I don't think like THAT anymore!" I am terrified about that. But, I think I'm finally starting to be ok with the idea of testing the water. When you said "give yourself time" it really hit me. I don't know where, but somewhere I picked up that 5 years it to long. It's ok to take time. I cringe whenever someone called me "trans" and I can't even say it to others. I think that I need to learn that it's not taboo. That people (most people) won't suddenly hate me the second that they learn. You helped me resolve so many of my doubts, "I don't have enough dysphoria, I'm not boyish enough, I didn't feel it/know what it was when I was 6, what if I'm not?" You saying "wanting to be the opposite gender or another gender is the essence of being trans." Made me cry, I feel like so much of my doubts have been resolved! The biggest doubt for me was that i didn’t feel like a boy. How am i supposed to when my whole body presents like a girl? I feel like you are an angel who was swnt down to my recommendation tab to save me from crippling trans doubt! I can't say this enough, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! ❤
Oh dear… Please read my answer to this video if it actually posted. Y!T tends to censor my posts, so it very well may not. But this answer breaks my f*cking heart. Sex cannot actually be changed, and being a boy / man or a girl / woman..? Has got absolutely NOTHING to do with some nebulous inner feeling! It is a set biological reality! Gender ideology is the new destructive religion of the day, and it is PURE self-harm, denial, escapism, mind-body dissociation, and self-delusion! Do NOT head down this path, pretty, pretty please! I get that you may not like being a girl, but you still ARE! Your path towards healing..? Should be focused on trying to RECONCILE with the reality of that! Not further self-harm, using the delusional online echo chamber that is the “trans” community, in order to just further cement and INCREASE the dissociation!!! You sound like such a sweet young kid, who is kind and trusting, and I just really want to give you a big ol’ hug, and keep these f*cking VIPERS from taking advantage of you!!! 🤬 (Not calling the video poster that. I get that she is similarly lost and confused, and going down the same self-destructive path as well, because of it.) Also, when you grew up in such a sexist, traditionalist, conservative household, and were sold on a very restrictive and limiting idea of what it means to be female, then bloody OF COURSE you may easily develop an intense hatred of your femaleness, if you’ve internalized that! And bloody OF COURSE you don’t like being referred to as a girl, as you associate it with all this awful, regressive sexism!! But gender ideology..? Is really just rehashed extreme sexism 2.0! Except it’s even worse, as it also makes you destroy your body, in an attempt to change something you can never change! What you really need..? Is radical feminism! And a dose of REAL self-acceptance, of the kind that also includes your body!! Will be rooting for you too. AND for OP. Reading this was so heartbreaking, it almost made me cry. 😢
hey, same here! although I've had doubts in the back of my mind for years, it's only this year that i've finally stopped insistently ignoring that part of myself and started to slowly come in terms with myself. this video made me so happy, and seeing comments from people with experiences THIS similar to mine is really, really validating. you are so not alone in this! I hope your journey of self-discovery will lead you to wonderful results. oh, and if you would like to add trans people to your social circle, I would be happy to chat and maybe share some parts of each other's journeys :)
Yeah, things can be hard if your mind seems to change a lot. Perhaps you might want to look into some fluid identities? Such as genderfluid or boyflux/girlflux, etc. But no matter what, I wish you the best of luck in your journey!
@@PerfectSenseTV ive stuck so far with non-binary transfem for now, and since I've been on hrt for a bit, now things are changing more and its kinda coming together more
I always had a hunch that I was trans, but sadly my parents, therapists, etc. always discouraged me from "that idea" and told me it was silly, I just didn't have any good female role models, or I just hated the way women were treated in society. However, it was substantially more than that, and only cutting ties with all of these people enabled me to finally be myself. I now have short hair, wear men's clothes and I've never been happier than on the day where I picked deodorant with a masculine scent. Yet I still often feel like I don't belong, because I'm not on testosterone. Many people are quick to say that, unless you're on HRT, you're not trans. And that really hurts, because some people just don't have the financial means to transition properly or have other reasons (such as health conditions). I try to remind myself that just the fact that I feel like a man, and that dressing like one and being addressed with male pronouns actually gives me gender euphoria, is enough. But it's hard.
I'm not a trans man, but I am definitely non-binary with physical dysphoria.I've been ignoring a million red flags and have done nothing more than constantly pack for all hours of the day, in part, because of chronic conditions that limited my ability to try invasive medical treatments. I'm a very feminine person who likes female culture and I don't care about being perceived as a woman at all. The problem is I feel like my body is underdeveloped and that I didn't completely develop the characteristics I should have at puberty. Things got far more real for me when I started having medical and neurologic problems as a result of apparently not having enough testosterone in my body. My adrenal glands have the habit of kicking into high gear and producing a lot of T for no reason every now and again, and the last time it did it I regained sensation and function in my arms and legs pretty effectively. I have an existing spinal cord compression syndrome that is already causing neurologic damage, but it appears that excess testosterone is very good at modulating it in my body. So now despite always being iffy on transitioning in the past. I have the feeling I'm going to have to microdose on T in order not be paralyzed or at least slow down the process.
a recently cracked egg here, im currently discovering myself and I've been having a lot of the same doubts mentioned in the video (tho going the other way around) so thank you so much. it really means a lot to hear experiences that strongly reflects my own being told by a trans person. it just feels so validating
i only stopped feeling doubt about being "trans enough" until quite recently. even just starting the gender dysphoria diagnosis process made me feel more secure in myself, and now that i'm on testosterone i feel way more comfortable and confident with my gender. being hairier and having a deeper voice was just meant to be. i used to doubt myself because as a young kid i was too slow to figure out anything, let alone my gender, and i only came out when i was 14-ish. for so many years i thought wanting to be the opposite gender was just an inherent part of being a person, i thought everyone just ignored those feelings.
Hey, for anyone reading this: even if being trans was a choice, so what? What's wrong with choosing to be different than you already are? People should still treat you with kindness because you are a human being.
This video couldn't have come at a better time. I just moved to Europe to study abroad and I had been planning on starting a social transition while here literally all summer, but once I stepped foot on campus, I all of a sudden feel HUGE amounts of anxiety and doubt. So thank you for making this video, I feel a lot more validated and you reassured me on a lot of my fears.
god I relate to this so hard. my best friend is also trans - a completely textbook trans guy like the misconceptions you had when you were younger. he’s the sweetest guy, but I can tell he doesn’t see me as a real man because I don’t have crippling dysphoria or try to make my voice pass as much as he does. so I’ve been feeling like an imposter a lot lately. thank you - this really helped.
I understand one of my close friend was also the typical trans guy and sadly i compared a lot to him - until one day he told me « don’t worry at the beginning you always feel like an imposter » and i remember thinking: you feel this way too?
I was groomed in my adolescence so I was really locked in on the compulsory femininity. From 12 to 19. I didn't realize that I was trans until I was in a safe-ish relationship 2 years ago, where I didn't feel my value was entirely rooted in my femininity. Where I could unmask(have autism). Before I was groomed, I would wear boxers to school, people would make fun of me for it but I really didn't care at all. I dressed in boys clothes, wore boy shoes even if they didn't have a small enough size in the ones I liked. I even got really jealous when boys started getting taller and their voices got deeper. I always loved getting sick because my voice would get deeper. Still grt excited from being sick even at 25 lol. Ever since I was a toddler, I was drawn to hanging out with boys, I always got so shy with girls. Not because I didn't like girls, my first closest friends were girls. It was more like...I felt like I was just missing something. I couldn't put my finger on it. I have this memory of picture day in 5th grade. I wore a skirt, and a frilly shirt and I remember spending the entire day trying to not cry from how awful I felt. I felt wrong, and perverted for some reason. I felt so weird and awful and I had no idea why. I was so confused, I thought my outfit was so pretty when I put it together. But I so vividly remember being horrified at my girl body when I saw myself in the bathroom and I felt like an alien in my own body. I almost felt numb from how scared I was. I didn't realize how much puberty affected my body until that moment. I'll never forget it. Thank your for this. I'm realizing now that healing my inner kid is also going to have to include transitioning. I can't live a life cowering from mirrors and slouching to hide my chest anymore. You're very right. There's no right way to be trans
I am a trans man and I just got out of the “I can’t be trans because I didn’t hate puberty” phase and the trying to be “super girly” phase. I realized that men can be feminine and I learned to love that actually!
The part about dysphoria is so true. Like, I didn’t even start recognizing that I had any until I first experienced gender euphoria in the form of someone using they/them for me while I was doing a Homestuck cosplay. And then I started recognizing what types of feelings toward my birth gender were dysphoria bc they didn’t fit into the traditional narratives for that. Gender euphoria really should be talked about more imo. And if transphobes wanna attribute that as AGP, they deserve to be [REDACTED]. ✨
I doubt myself pretty often because I didn't show a lot of signs when I was younger and it really makes me wonder if the transphobes are right, that I've just tricked myself into thinking I'm trans.
MTF I have been struggling with that same feeling for the past 4 days, as well as the thought that I'm taking a fetish/kink thing to far. But my wife reminds me that "you wouldn't hurt this much if it was just a sex thing" and I find that helps me not doubt myself
The algorithm brought me here. It took me a long time to acknowledge being a trans man, because growing up I really wanted to be like other girls and fit in. I used the non-binary and lesbian labels for years before realizing that other non-binary people probably didn't actively try to convince themselves that they weren't men. Wild concept, I know. I still feel like an imposter a lot of the time, but it is slowly getting better. I've made progress towards getting on HRT and having top surgery, which is helping with that.
I feel like an imposter sometimes. Had people in my life telling me it was a phase and refused to acknowledge my emotions. I had parents who pointed out any change in my body that was feminine or masculine, whether it was making fun of my leg hair or telling me I looked pregnant. As a trans guy who is on low T (passing but as a fem boy) i can call myself a man but when it comes to bubbling it in on papers or anything I just feel a little strange. A voice of guilt about it comes up. The longer I am on T the less I think about it but when I was pre-t and early T the thought of describing myself as a man felt so shameful.
You're not alone in that. I'm transmasc non-binary, and I feel like I'm losing the non-binary part (not sad about it, just putting it out there). When I think back about how various forms of address made me feel, she/her/Miss/Ma'am always felt wrong and uncomfortable, but he/him/sir/Mr. felt shameful, like I'd failed at whatever requirement there was to be part of that club. My mother has asked me over the years if I'm trans, and if I'd ever think about transitioning. I told her that unless doctors could build me a functioning dick, there was no point in even considering it. I'm in my late forties; we were more ignorant about gender, sex, sexuality, and gender expression when I was growing up. If I'd known then what I know now, I'd have transitioned during high school and never looked back. I've just passed one year on T, and my funding for top surgery has recently been approved. During the pandemic, I started transitioning socially. Having a functioning penis didn't matter any more-- I had to try to be myself, because trying to be someone I wasn't hadn't worked out. Hearing he/him/sir/Mr. feels correct now, and I feel like I'll embrace it even more once I get some things off my chest.
thank you, I really needed this. I've been on T for 7 months now and starting it made me think about my gender identity a lot more in a more abstract way, giving me a lot of doubt and anxiety that I've never experience before. Don't get me wrong, I went to two therapists for my transition and both of them gave me the ok to start T, so it's not like i didn't think about it before (it took me years, to realize). But facing all the changes in my body and in other people perception of me made me a lot anxious and made me think "oh my god, why am I not loving all these changes?", "why am I still so sad and grossed out with my body?". All these questions brought out the doubts and, like you said, doubts brings doubts and create a circle. I'm a very anxious person and I'm afraid a lot of change (I'm certain about it bc I've talk about it with my therapist) and of course I needed time - I still need time - to getting used to all the changes that T brought. Now I'm so much better, even tho I sometimes still feel like an imposter, but I always watch videos like yours bc they help me feel like I'm not the only one, I'm not alone
God, this is so helpful. I really appreciate it. I've been so, constantly scared. I feel so desperate to really KNOW and FEEL like a woman. There were some signs I had as a child, but something that makes me hyper uncomfortable is that, I was pretty comfortable. I don't know if I was always trans, or if I became trans. If I always had these feelings, or if these feelings developed as I matured. (Which came first, the chicken or the egg? :3) It's so hard to tell, and I want my experience to line up with everyone else. That if I didn't want to be a girl, if I didn't experience dysphoria as a child, that if I liked being a boy, that must mean that I am not a girl now. It's so painful, and it's so anxiety educing to feel like I'm rewriting my story in order to make it more in line with how my story was "supposed" to be. But it's true, it's so much more important who I am NOW. I am a woman NOW. Was I before? Would I have been happier as a girl before? I don't know, possibly no. But even if that's the case, it doesn't have to stop me from being who I want to be now.
Your comment made me think of Matt Bernstein's conversation with Lucy Kartikasari (here on YT), a detransgender woman who seems very much at peace with her _entire_ journey, from transitioning fairly early in life and living as trans masc for many years, to detransitioning because her sense of who she was had changed. What I took from hearing her experience is that yes, your gender identity can change over the course of your life, and who's to say that you can't follow your inner sense of self to wherever it leads you? Even though I'm not trans, this spoke to me on some deep level. Maybe because I tend to be intensely scared of making _any_ decisions that seem to be "for life". But isn't, outside of medical necessities and the like, the only thing that makes gender transition _seem_ to be a "for life" type of decision, social conventions? You go into this specific box, and that's where you'll stay for the rest of your life. But like, why? I think as a society we've only just begun to scratch the surface of how varied gender expression can be, and if the greater visibility of trans folks these days shows us one thing, it's that sadly, we're pretty ill-equipped to deal with variety and nuance. "I think on some level I've always known" kinda becomes its own box, and what's so frustrating about those boxes, to me, is that for those who fit into them, they can be the safe haven they desperately needed, but for those who don't (quite), they can become a source of intense anxiety and stress. I have no idea how to solve this, but for now I love that esp. social media (for all its downsides) can provide people with spaces to share and validate their nuances. Humans are complex, and that's a beautiful thing. You are valid. Much love 💜
@@FinalMeep Oh thank god I read the beginning of your comment and I thought you were saying "Oh I think you're a detransitioner". But no, that's really insightful and cool~!
Thank you so much for your content and videos, it helps so much hearing that not everyone knew from childhood on that they were trans. I am 26 and only started questioning about 3 years ago, before that I was already a masc presenting „lesbian“ but before I figured that out, back in puberty I had the same or at least kind of similar thoughts you had („omg finally boys will like me“ etc). I never thought about my gender, when someone would call me like „Ma’am, …“ I just thought that I found it odd and uncomfortable because I was still young and not used to being called a „woman“ instead of „child“. Now things start to make a lot more sense, I am not a woman lol! Still not out yet, trying to find the courage to start my transition. Your content helps a lot though, thank you.
i've been having alot of doubts especially about my past and how i've shown signs of being trans as a kid. Because I didn't have the consistent "signs" of the stereotypical trans man experience I feel like i've been just tricking myself into being trans. It's really nice to hear some reassurance from someone who went through similar experiences in their childhood. love the vid
Same, as a kid I was told boys were gross and bad so I would tell people I was happy about being a girl but it was just because I didn’t want to be gross
i havent watched the video yet, but oh god this couldn't have been recommended at a better time. i have been kind of gaslighting myself for the past couple months that im not actually trans and im just a pathetic creature that needs to get my shit together. Imma add this to my watch later for now. thank you
Oh my! As a trans woman struggling with all of this, thank you for this, just thank you. Every single point I could see me in it. Thank you for your openness and insightfulness.
MTF I have been struggling with that same feeling for the past 4 days, as well as the thought that I'm taking a fetish/kink thing to far. But my wife reminds me that "you wouldn't hurt this much if it was just a sex thing" and I find that helps me not doubt
I came out a few weeks ago, im still not fully out, but your videos have helped me so much to calm my anxiety, because i have a lot of doubts, one cause my experience is more like yours, and two im austic and recognising feelings and how i feel about myself and my body is practically impossible. what i do know is that im not cis, and most probably a boy, but yeah thanks for talking about this trans experience
When I started figuring out that I was trans, I felt so much comfort in the idea that "gender is fluid", "even *if* there's such a thing as a binary gender experience, that one wouldnt be mine anyways". Around 8 years ago, I started T, had top surgery, socially transitioned and fully presented as a man. This was absolutely the right thing for me to do at that time. I would 100% not be here anymore if I hadn't. But now I don't feel that anymore. Right now, Im not a man. I don't have any regrets, but I did feel an immense fear and denial -similar to when I started this journey - if I was ever "really trans", if I was "trans enough". And again, the idea that gender is fluid, and mine is very much so, has given me a lot of peace. I know Im trans. And even if I wasnt, it doesnt matter. Im living this life the way I feel is best at that moment. That made some decisions a lot easier, like being OK with any/all pronouns and slowly expressing my gender in more feminine ways too. While other decisions, like maybe stopping T, is still very scary. Trans is just a word, just a descriptor. Something that is both so big and so unimportant. Transness is never a competition, and nothing you have to prove to anyone. No matter what, you are valid. And I am valid. We'll figure it out
I'm one minute into the video and I already feel better because I have the same image of what a trans man is. And I'm all of the opposite, I found out I'm trans when I was around 22 (like a year ago), I love feminine things and I like my body (I do get dysphoria sometimes but not always)
I love this video so much, and it's so true; I don't have that much imposter syndrome (anymore) with being trans, but one quote I heard a while ago that I think some trans person somewhere needs to hear is: you do not need gender dysphoria to be trans, you only need gender euphoria thanks for the video, absolutely true points!!!
I really related to the part about being happy about some parts of puberty as a trans person. I remember when I was 13, I was so excited to get my period and develop breasts so I could finally relate to other girls more because there always felt like there was a disconnect between me and them. It was more about me being excited and happy to belong to a group rather than becoming me.
WOW, eu estava precisando muito ouvir isso e não sabia até realmente estar ouvindo. Eu tenho me cobrado muito recentemente e pra mim tem sido um período difícil pois eu me descobri como uma pessoa não-binaria ainda esse ano. E por causa dessa descoberta eu estava tentando negar e odiar tudo que eu era antes, sendo que na realidade eu sempre fui eu mas apenas não reconhecia isso antes. E apesar de ter mudado muito do meu estilo e ter mudado meu nome também talvez agora eu possa entender que não isso porque me odeio mas sim porque me amo
"Just think of me as one of the girls" - things I'd say long before I realized I hated living as, and being seen as, a man. I don't know if I ever doubt my decision to medically transition (4 months in, crrently), but I sure af feel anxious about it sometimes. Because I have fkn anxiety, and that's how anxiety works.
This is a great video. I feel exactly the same way. I have major imposter syndrome with a lot of things in my life and being trans is one of them. As a non binary person leaning more to the masc side, and as someone who watched youtubers like kalvin garrah with the "non binary people are not real, theyre trans trenders, you cant be trans unless you fully medically transition and hate yourself" when i was young, i felt like since i do not relate fully to the transman experience i could not be trans. Even now, when ive moved past those, i still get the thought in the back of my mind telling me that i cannot be trans if i dont wanna kms or im just pretending but not comitted enough to be a trans man. Whats helped me so much in validating myself (even though that should not be the goal) was going through top surgery. I told myself that even if i wasnt trans, women get brest reduction surgery too so its ok, but this was the right move forward because its something i think about every single day. When i had it done, that was the most happy i felt in a long time, even though i already lead a happy life. Support from my family was also a major factor in my own validation. Im lucky to have a family who accepts me, (my grandmother thought it was an already known fact and told my uncle before i even knew or told anyone myself....). They without hesistation accepted when i wanted to try a new name and pronouns and being able to do that helped me so much. For people without that support at home, doing the same with supportive friends would be similar i would assume. I still question myself all the time but at some point you just have to comit to what the 99% of your brain is telling you vs that 1% that can be so loud when you are looking for that doubt. Im very lucky in my circumstance, because in any other i probably would not have been able to accept that part of me.
Hi I'm sorry you feel this way... and i'm so happy that top surgery help you be happier. And honestly still doubt myself too not as much at all as i used to but it happens and honestly I don't mind anymore ^^
I have recently moved back to my country, and even though my previous country wasn't supportive or even allowed me to be open with who I am, it still got more restrictive in a way. I used to live Saudi Arabia, and about 16 years there were spent into making myself a comfortable shell, surrounded by people who do support me and are like me from school. I had to wear abayas, long dresses as school uniform, not hiding the shade of the chest, long hair, very feminine fashion, scarves, head scarves, but I felt better because there were people who actually knew what I was under all of that. I've just moved back to Pakistan due to some personal issues, and I'm nearly 18 years old, but moving back here makes things feel worse. It feels like everyone's staring at you if your a little bit different, which wasn't the case back home (yes, I'll call it home because it felt like home). Back there I felt open because I had choices, here I have them too, but they come with lots of judgement. That part I hate the most is that I'm closer to my extended family more than I was before, physically, never emotionally. They've always felt like thorns to me, ever since I was young, and it just got worse as I grew and learned more about myself. Coming back here also rid me of the physical comfort I got around friends and teachers I had back there, I have no one here, not even my own parents know about me. Though I convinced my mom to buy me a sports bra, for some reason my eyes tell me that it doesn't work as well as it did before (even though it never did, tbh). My mind keeps telling me that maybe what I thought I was a result of too much freedom, I had the choice to think about who I am, and I delved into overthinking. That's what my head makes me think. There'll forever be a part of me who thinks that life would be easier if I just stayed what I eas born as, female, a girl, a woman, but I also hate it, because I know that I'm not thinking for myself when I say that, I'm thinking for other people (i.e society, my family, extended relatives, friends, etc.) I just hurts so much when even your own head tries to fuck you over so much, and it's hard trying to get used to it let alone get over it. Appreciate the video, helped a lot. Stay safe, and love yourselves ❤️
Omg, I just found your channel and this video is helping so much. I'm not even done watching the clip but I had to day thank you for the video. I feel like I want to be a boy but I can't be one. Like... I've had people tell me I'm not trans because I didn't know sooner and because I'm anxious and cautious of this big possible change in my life. It really sucks but no one really around me has the same experience that I have. So thank you once again for this vid! Have a great day/evening!
Despite still having my doubts this video helped a lot 💞🥺, especially the metaphor of moving to another country and deciding where you would be more happy rather then moving with misery I really like that. I'd say I'm a nonbinary transman, I've already pretty much settled on that for a year or two now with all the soul searching and questioning, but I feel a lot of doubt, and mainly fear when it comes to coming out to the people around me at my job since being trans feels so personal
Thank you for this I really needed it I have always felt like I cant be trans because I only started feeling this way after I found out what it is so I'm faking it and lying to myself buttons helped a lot
I have been trying to give my brain time to cope with adapting to the reality of being transgender for 10 years and to this day it still finds ways to convince me I'm completely cyst despite the zillions of red flags I've gotten over the years.
my dysphoria level is stable now that i've been on T for 1 year and a half and since i understood that i was basically a trans femboy who doesnt wear skirts, the only problem is that i really struggle to ,find representation, in media and also just within the trans community ... if you read this and relate then know that you're not alone 💜💜 yay!!
wowowow i love this video. something about faking i heard once that changed my life is that if you were faking, you would know it. faking is something intentional.
As a dark skin trans guy I relate to mostly seeing the white trans guys with fluffy hair (thats the only type of trans guys I've seen) it's rare that I'll see a dark skinned trans guy. I thought and still think that I'm an imposter because of the fact that on some days I don't care how I present whether it's girly or more masculine. This video helped so thanks for popping up on my fyp❤
Yes! Some people who wish for something already have it, but don't believe they do. I remember I used to want to look more like a girl, but it always felt wrong. I just wanted to be accepted as my birth sex, and was denying my identity
I totally agree with the video, but for me part of it was actually my gender itself. I've since realized I'm nonbinary transmasc, not simply a trans guy. Admitting that to myself has made me much more sure, because I now know you don't have to strictly be only a guy to be a trans guy.
Thanks for this. I just got recommended and started watching out of curiosity a shitty video about how trans people suck and are undateable, so this was good to get that off my mind lol
I’ve always appreciated growing up as a woman, so I thought I couldn’t be trans, but I think I’m just glad to be trans because I would be a completely different person if I was cis, especially a cis man. I would have a lot less understanding about minorities and queerness and I would probably even be transphobic like my parents are.
Thanks for the video! I have struggled with all of these. Especially the idea that trans people always know since they were children. There's a picture of me when I was like 6, dressed as a princess and I seem happy. That photo haunts me. I don't remember how I felt about girlhood back then, what if I liked it? What if that means I could like it again? If I gave my younger self the choice, would they still be a boy? But I guess all that matters is how I feel now.
Hii I know exactly what picture you are talking about. I have one dressed as a fairy and my smile on the picture shows how happy i was. Still I am the happiest ever with my transition. Trust your gut rather than comparing with other people (i know its easier said than done). Wish you all the best on your journey ^^
Even after one year of being out to my parents I still feel like "I want to be a boy", not that I am one. My detrans kink just made it worse ig :( I rlly want someone to talk to but I kinda isolate myself
I thought I just wasn't trans "enough" for a bit after I came out. That like because I would boymode sometimes(for safety or general easier time in society) and be able to appreciate when I can look like an attractive boy that I must not be a woman. Turns out I was still a woman.and a beautiful woman at that. I just also like to play with gender presentation sometimes if I enjoy it.
wow ok look i doubted becuase i dont hate being a man but i love being a woman and when you said dont focus on gender dysphoria but focus on gender euphoria i was like your right when pepole see me as a woman when i get affirmation of that gender i feel great but as a man im like what ever it makes total sense to me
i thought i didnt have any euphoria so that justified me not being trans, despite wishing to be a woman every time i woke up, but the thing is the first time i dressed feminine i literally jumped up and down out of joy yet somehow i denied it being euphoria lol
Its a nice video with a good message... But I couldn't get over how you are such a feminine transmasc, and I vibe with that energy, you go my guy, live your best life. (If me saying that made you dysphoric, I am sorry. Based on the words in the video, I think it is probably okay?)
I think my biggest thing that makes me feel like an imposter is what if I’m not a boy, what if I just hate having comically large breasts. What if I’m just a really masc girl or nb who just wants a flat chest and a beard and deep voice. And then I smack myself and tell myself to shush, that makes no sense lol.
I always thought that nonbinary people are so cool and 'lucky' (not always tho, ofc). Cuz clothes never really defined anything to me, like, mixed clothes are a natural thing in 21st century, why sweat it? Then, 6-7 monthish later i thought that i was demigirl or femenby, cuz i love feminity and embraced it (i had a afab partner also atm). But sometimes i still doubt myself, who am i even?
Very good question. I stopped overthinking everything and I started just trusting my heart. By that I mean I started doing what made me happy and just give myself time to experiment with gender. i noticed that often when my mind was doubting my body being true to my heart (for example: doubting i was trans at all while puting on a binder, or doubting i was trans while looking up boys names) Its hard to explain it in one comment I’ll try to make a video. In the meantime tell me if that helped or not :)
when i was little, before puberty, i wanted breasts and started wearing bras early because i wanted to be attractive (i think it'd really fucked up that i wanted to be sexy as a small child, but thats besides the point) i felt like i wasnt enough until i got boobs, then when i did get boobs, I HATED IT. but whenever i talk about hating my boobs, i get discredited by my family because "well you wanted boobs as a kid" or "you'll always want what you dont have" and then theres the case of my injuries, i have been injured on multiple occasions by my over sized chest, and it makes it impossible to take proper care or myself and live a normal life, so i dont know if i just want them gone because of the pain they cause, or because im trans? do i have dysphoria because im in so much pain, or am i in so much pain because of dysphoria?? (i see so many people with much larger chests than me who never complain about it, but its all i can think about 90% of the time-)
You can try having a breast reduction if you still want some type of breasts. I am taking 200-400 mg of Vitamin E to deal with my breast pain (aka mastalgia). Also they said Evening Primrose Oil helps if you take it for 6 months. Vitamin E helps after 2 months. I found that was true for me. I wanted to have top surgery just to get rid of my pain but now I'm not as sure as the vitamin E is helping me.
Does it apply for potential trans women? I actually neither liked puberty I was scared my voice sounded too much like my father one and always hated hairs, I still pluck my beard now at 20 I remember thinking at the time that you can’t be trans after puberty to I felt so bad about a future myself could’ve hated me for not coming out even if I didn’t felt it Also had a strong dissociation for my image since I have memory Probably tho is worth reasoning why even so young I was already worried to not being able to be trans?
If you ever thought "i wish i was a man/woman" cause you thought you werent one Congrats, you are trans Its not a thing cis people think Like sure, you could be nonbinary too, but the feeling i want to be *this* gender, even if its flactuating, is inherently not cis. This include "i wish i was NOT a man/woman"- this is even more likely to mean nonebinary. Cis people dont do it
btw, as a guy at the moment, Rn you look really good, i like the style, the hair, the voice, I duno if thats comforting or weird, but Just thouht that as a guy rn, before I transition, i'd lile to say that your hot.
This may be bad advice, but I would just say don't give a shit about labels. I was very unsure about my personal identity, and I wasn't sure if I would be happier as a girl or not, I like skirts and girly clothes, but I didn't feel like a girl inside, nor did I really act like I felt a girl should act. So basically, I just said "Fuck it. Traditional gender roles suck ass anyways. I'll wear girly clothes if I want, and act however I feel comfortable." I identify as genderfluid now, but I don't really stress it much. In an ideal world, boys and girls wouldn't be pressured to act one way or the other. If I've already broken out of the idea that you're born one way or the other, why the hell should I continue thinking in terms of male or female at all?
@@TheParklifeChoseMe Fair enough. I did say it might be bad advice. I don't like thinking in terms of male or female, but I can understand that plenty of people probably do feel affirmed by the labels. I do think that even the continued use of such binary terms can still enforce gender roles and stereotypes to an extent, but I also do feel it can be mitigated fairly effectively.
i didnt had very very little dysphoria, so i kept thinking "i dont have enough dysphoria, therefore im not trans enough" and then the real dysphoria hit and it felt like i was a deer at night getting run over by like five monster trucks so im pretty sure now 🫠
Have you never doubted yourself as you nervously walked to the podium to present your work? In the end, was it a total failure? Did the lights flicker out and did the cool person in the back laugh at you? Or did it turn out slightly okay in the end?
I’ve gotten a lot of replies before of people just saying “🥚” or “🏳️⚧️” and now this appears in my recommended multiple times! Ahh hell naw I’m not beating the allegations now lmao 😂
Maybe a hot take, but calling people eggs or implying they might be trans when they don't identify themselves as such is toxic behavior. It's likely to annoy those who are cis and are just gender-nonconforming, and it's not a healthy basis for trans people to start their journey from. If one of your biggest realizations was forced onto you by other people, you'll probably question it much more than if you got there on your own. We should really learn to refrain from assigning identities to others, it's tempting because we see signs we relate to, but in the end it's just a generalization we make. Some people just express themselves differently. I hope you still manage to define what *you* know you are, regardless of whether it's "cis but sparkly", "trans" or anything else!
@@VaporSprite i don’t think it’s a hot take I think it definitely is just common courtesy to not try and force someone to be something they aren’t tho unfortunately not everyone thinks the same as us two tho I do think some people who said things like i was an egg or trans and not admitting it were just joking or try to help just not in the right way but there also were some people who were just trying to force it onto me just because they think it’s right and unfortunately something that’s weirdly happened a lot to me. I’m getting a bit off topic now but idk why in my life people online and irl have tried to make force me to be things I’m not like in school one of my friends kept telling people I’m asexual and telling me that I was asexual even though I’m definitely not, it’s just such a weird trait that a lot of people have for some reason and it sucks to be on the receiving end of it
@@f3m80y It's very frustrating, but yeah, chalk that up to the presence of bad actors in every community. You don't seem to hold all trans people responsible for that, which is more than many do, though. Thanks for seeing the nuance in things and speaking up about this issue!
@@VaporSprite yeah unfortunately just some people don’t respect that it can take people a long time to figure out what they are like i definitely am questioning my gender identity because i have no idea what i am and it’s taking me a year and a half to figure that out for myself yet people hear “im not sure if my gender” and immediately think 🥚 or decide that ur trans when they don’t even know you. Also no need to thank me for this even though in my original comment i presented it in a joke way it is a significant problem that i see appear way too often
@@f3m80y I'm non-binary and satisfied with just that definition, it helps me feel free to just do and be what I want to without asking further. I think you could ask a whole bunch of people what "gender" means, or what "being a man" or "being a woman" means, you'd get hundreds of different answers. Sure, there's bound to be overlap, but there's also overlap in what people see as being a man and being a woman. So yeah, it's abstract AF. Try things out if you're curious, see how different things make you feel... Have fun with it! It doesn't have to be something that stresses you out, it can be a lot of fun to try stuff. What helped me most so far was definitely talking about it to people I love and having them give me tips on clothing, styling and stuff. Hearing these things from others will probably give you instant reactions like "yeah that's me" or "I would never" 😂 What conclusions you draw from all this stuff is up to you, you can like wearing a dress or stockings and still be a man. You can be butch and still be a woman. You can be enby and thrive in fluidity. No one can tell you where the line is supposed to be.
I’m a transwoman, but I still relate to this a lot. There was a long period of time where I thought, “gosh, I wish I was trans” lol
Dude I just took a massive shit
you're male and always will be
SO TRUE, i just got out of that phase
@@Ann1ka2425 so you are a man then
@@superragaone11 op is male
I'm autistic and I feel imposter syndrome a lot especially towards my gender and my dyshporia
I'm also autistic and I wouldn't call it impostor syndrome as I see myself more as an unsure person with a lot of doubt who is hesitant to say they are trans but probably also not cis.
I don't know what gender dysphoria is other than feeling mildly uncomfortable with my body shape, it feels comparable to being dissapointed when you notice you've gained weight.
It feels more like dissapointment about not having the most appealing appearance.
I just feel like there's feelings/sensations trans men are supposed to have and I don't have those trans feelings or the sensations, even if I'm happy with short looking hair, with seeing a guy's face in the mirror, using he/they, I don't have a feeling like "I'm trans" or "I'm in the wrong body" or anything.
probably because you know you're lying to yourself
@@Stick_and_stone There are places on the gender spectrum besides male/female, which you probably know because you use they as well. There is also gender fluid, we slide from one area on that spectrum to another, without wanting to, sometimes without realizing. One day he/him pronouns are perfect, the next (or the next hour, or minute) it doesn't fit. It's confusing af, even when living it.
As someone who came out as trans much later in life (mid to late 40s) I worried a lot about the dysphoria thing. And thanks to some other trans folk I follow, I started concentrating on gender euphoria instead, as our author here talks about at ruclips.net/video/L6yrB2Clh1k/видео.html. Look at the things that work better for you, the things that make you feel comfortable and at home in regard to gender. It's perfectly ok to take time to figure out who you are. As you settle into who you are, you will feel more comfortable being who you are. And that can take time too, so don't rush yourself.
Ler me help both of you... you are both imposters if your refuse to accept who you really are born as.. finally accept your born gender... look between your legs .. that's your first clue. 🎉
same
this comment section is so comforting, it's really lonely being trans sometimes. it's so nice to know we're not alone and that we have each other
Trans people are never alone. i hope you can find a local support group and find friends. We must be each other’s friends and allies :)
@@NatalieN500 thank you
also, I just want to say to everyone here: I love you so much and I'm so proud of you
@@vilkle4857 ofc, i am a trans woman and we all need to stick together
Unfortunately there's this one guy going through the comments here and being a dick in the replies, but that's only one, we are many
I’ve recently (literally two days ago) realized that I am trans (ftm).
I’m kind of a weird case bc I don’t feel dysphoria from my body or appearance in general it’s more about how other people perceive me. That was the reason I didn’t think I was trans for a long time.
And then one night I just started really thinking about it. Why did I feel like she/her pronouns didn’t belong to me when I heard them? Why did I feel pressure to be super feminine? Why was the idea of feeling my hair being short so appealing?
It’s been a weird journey.
Omg, I relate so much. Recently(month ish) I realized myself and it kinda clicked(mtf). I was doubting myself a lot more, tbh it's alot to take in. Also, I grew up in a very traditional conservative post soviet union country with a very toxically masculine mindset. Homophobia and transphobia are common asf, and I barely knew anything about lgbtq+ for most of my life till recently (24yo now). I always felt off, and shitty about myself and my appearance, till I decided to grow out my hair and paint my nails and such. So funny in retrospect, I basically almost transitioned without realizing I'm trans. I still doubt myself, and there's still leftover transphobia and fear+ pressure from the society, so I'm still kinda in a closet/egg. I don't feel much dysphoria about my body, but the same as you, about perception of other people, so the imposter feeling is there. But I can't wait to move countries so I can be myself without fear, and truly explore my identity, hope you find your way too
How you've described the dyshphoria/perception thing has completely made sense to me thank you for putting it into words! And good luck :]
See I was kind of the complete opposite. I never had any real social dysphoria, it was all physical. I was in denial about it being that I wanted a woman's body, I just hated the body I had. Once I started taking hormones and asking some people close to me to start using she/they pronouns, I began getting real euphoria from it, as opposed to dysphoria. I'm 3 and half months into medical transition, and I'm about ready to start fully socially transitioning. The day I realized I was trans was like 6 months ago. Theres a clear wall between how I felt then and how I feel now. I had to move forward. I have to keep moving forward, its all that keeps me going now, and I don't know how I made it 27 years without realizing this part of me, or how I made it without it
I relate to this totally. It's weird bc I thought I didn't give a shit about how others perceive me but i guess the ol' subconscious does. =D
Dysphoria comes in different ways and physicaly dysphoria is not the only type of dysphoria. Feeling wrong with your perception of yourself and the perception of other over you is actually dysphoria. Also there's the fact that sometimes things like trauma and other life problems can make you feel like you don't experience physical dysphoria when you actually do, that was my case at least.
Omg I cried while watching this. For the past 5 years I have been fighting to figure out what I was. I grew up in a very Christian house hold and my mother had a very tight grip on everything I ever saw. (Homeschooling, no magic shows or movies, a monthly talk about homosexuality etc.) When I was growing up, I loved dresses and painting my nails and I was excited to wear bras. And that made me think that there's no WAY I'm trans! Then why do I physically cringe whenever she/her is involved? Why do I stand in front of the mirror trying my hardest to make my chest flatter? For the last few months I was so doubtful that I tricked myself into thinking that i was trying so hard to "act trans" and that I just... learned to hate certain things? Typing that out make me realize how silly it sounds. I have heard it said that "you're not trans unless you feel like a boy inside." But for me, there isn't a way for me to "feel like a boy" when I don't look like one. The idea of being a boy makes me absolutely giddy. Like, my heart literally flutters. Another big thing that I struggle with is what if it IS just a phase? What if I grow out of it and look back and say "Wow, glad I don't think like THAT anymore!" I am terrified about that. But, I think I'm finally starting to be ok with the idea of testing the water. When you said "give yourself time" it really hit me. I don't know where, but somewhere I picked up that 5 years it to long. It's ok to take time. I cringe whenever someone called me "trans" and I can't even say it to others. I think that I need to learn that it's not taboo. That people (most people) won't suddenly hate me the second that they learn. You helped me resolve so many of my doubts, "I don't have enough dysphoria, I'm not boyish enough, I didn't feel it/know what it was when I was 6, what if I'm not?" You saying "wanting to be the opposite gender or another gender is the essence of being trans." Made me cry, I feel like so much of my doubts have been resolved! The biggest doubt for me was that i didn’t feel like a boy. How am i supposed to when my whole body presents like a girl? I feel like you are an angel who was swnt down to my recommendation tab to save me from crippling trans doubt!
I can't say this enough, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! ❤
Oh dear… Please read my answer to this video if it actually posted. Y!T tends to censor my posts, so it very well may not. But this answer breaks my f*cking heart. Sex cannot actually be changed, and being a boy / man or a girl / woman..? Has got absolutely NOTHING to do with some nebulous inner feeling! It is a set biological reality! Gender ideology is the new destructive religion of the day, and it is PURE self-harm, denial, escapism, mind-body dissociation, and self-delusion! Do NOT head down this path, pretty, pretty please! I get that you may not like being a girl, but you still ARE! Your path towards healing..? Should be focused on trying to RECONCILE with the reality of that! Not further self-harm, using the delusional online echo chamber that is the “trans” community, in order to just further cement and INCREASE the dissociation!!! You sound like such a sweet young kid, who is kind and trusting, and I just really want to give you a big ol’ hug, and keep these f*cking VIPERS from taking advantage of you!!! 🤬 (Not calling the video poster that. I get that she is similarly lost and confused, and going down the same self-destructive path as well, because of it.)
Also, when you grew up in such a sexist, traditionalist, conservative household, and were sold on a very restrictive and limiting idea of what it means to be female, then bloody OF COURSE you may easily develop an intense hatred of your femaleness, if you’ve internalized that! And bloody OF COURSE you don’t like being referred to as a girl, as you associate it with all this awful, regressive sexism!! But gender ideology..? Is really just rehashed extreme sexism 2.0! Except it’s even worse, as it also makes you destroy your body, in an attempt to change something you can never change! What you really need..? Is radical feminism! And a dose of REAL self-acceptance, of the kind that also includes your body!! Will be rooting for you too. AND for OP. Reading this was so heartbreaking, it almost made me cry. 😢
hey, same here! although I've had doubts in the back of my mind for years, it's only this year that i've finally stopped insistently ignoring that part of myself and started to slowly come in terms with myself. this video made me so happy, and seeing comments from people with experiences THIS similar to mine is really, really validating. you are so not alone in this! I hope your journey of self-discovery will lead you to wonderful results. oh, and if you would like to add trans people to your social circle, I would be happy to chat and maybe share some parts of each other's journeys :)
@@vwvw6473 I would love to hear more of your story!
@@grousehound7912 damn, yt keeps deleting my replies :(
@@grousehound7912 hahaha, fr! just try to search the name next to my icon on a platform with a white paper plane on a blue background as a logo
Its hard to get over that imposter syndrome, especially when everyday my thoughts change and i still look kinda the same
then maybe stop being delusional
@@bigchongusHH??? Bro what made you click on this video like fuck off😭😭
@@bigchongusHH12 year old spotted
Yeah, things can be hard if your mind seems to change a lot. Perhaps you might want to look into some fluid identities? Such as genderfluid or boyflux/girlflux, etc. But no matter what, I wish you the best of luck in your journey!
@@PerfectSenseTV ive stuck so far with non-binary transfem for now, and since I've been on hrt for a bit, now things are changing more and its kinda coming together more
I always had a hunch that I was trans, but sadly my parents, therapists, etc. always discouraged me from "that idea" and told me it was silly, I just didn't have any good female role models, or I just hated the way women were treated in society. However, it was substantially more than that, and only cutting ties with all of these people enabled me to finally be myself. I now have short hair, wear men's clothes and I've never been happier than on the day where I picked deodorant with a masculine scent. Yet I still often feel like I don't belong, because I'm not on testosterone. Many people are quick to say that, unless you're on HRT, you're not trans. And that really hurts, because some people just don't have the financial means to transition properly or have other reasons (such as health conditions). I try to remind myself that just the fact that I feel like a man, and that dressing like one and being addressed with male pronouns actually gives me gender euphoria, is enough. But it's hard.
I feel you fam with the health conditions.
All the best for you ❤
I'm not a trans man, but I am definitely non-binary with physical dysphoria.I've been ignoring a million red flags and have done nothing more than constantly pack for all hours of the day, in part, because of chronic conditions that limited my ability to try invasive medical treatments.
I'm a very feminine person who likes female culture and I don't care about being perceived as a woman at all. The problem is I feel like my body is underdeveloped and that I didn't completely develop the characteristics I should have at puberty. Things got far more real for me when I started having medical and neurologic problems as a result of apparently not having enough testosterone in my body. My adrenal glands have the habit of kicking into high gear and producing a lot of T for no reason every now and again, and the last time it did it I regained sensation and function in my arms and legs pretty effectively. I have an existing spinal cord compression syndrome that is already causing neurologic damage, but it appears that excess testosterone is very good at modulating it in my body. So now despite always being iffy on transitioning in the past. I have the feeling I'm going to have to microdose on T in order not be paralyzed or at least slow down the process.
a recently cracked egg here, im currently discovering myself and I've been having a lot of the same doubts mentioned in the video (tho going the other way around) so thank you so much. it really means a lot to hear experiences that strongly reflects my own being told by a trans person. it just feels so validating
JUST LIKE ME FR
i only stopped feeling doubt about being "trans enough" until quite recently.
even just starting the gender dysphoria diagnosis process made me feel more secure in myself, and now that i'm on testosterone i feel way more comfortable and confident with my gender. being hairier and having a deeper voice was just meant to be.
i used to doubt myself because as a young kid i was too slow to figure out anything, let alone my gender, and i only came out when i was 14-ish. for so many years i thought wanting to be the opposite gender was just an inherent part of being a person, i thought everyone just ignored those feelings.
Hey, for anyone reading this: even if being trans was a choice, so what? What's wrong with choosing to be different than you already are? People should still treat you with kindness because you are a human being.
This video couldn't have come at a better time. I just moved to Europe to study abroad and I had been planning on starting a social transition while here literally all summer, but once I stepped foot on campus, I all of a sudden feel HUGE amounts of anxiety and doubt. So thank you for making this video, I feel a lot more validated and you reassured me on a lot of my fears.
god I relate to this so hard. my best friend is also trans - a completely textbook trans guy like the misconceptions you had when you were younger. he’s the sweetest guy, but I can tell he doesn’t see me as a real man because I don’t have crippling dysphoria or try to make my voice pass as much as he does. so I’ve been feeling like an imposter a lot lately. thank you - this really helped.
I understand one of my close friend was also the typical trans guy and sadly i compared a lot to him - until one day he told me « don’t worry at the beginning you always feel like an imposter » and i remember thinking: you feel this way too?
I was groomed in my adolescence so I was really locked in on the compulsory femininity. From 12 to 19. I didn't realize that I was trans until I was in a safe-ish relationship 2 years ago, where I didn't feel my value was entirely rooted in my femininity. Where I could unmask(have autism). Before I was groomed, I would wear boxers to school, people would make fun of me for it but I really didn't care at all. I dressed in boys clothes, wore boy shoes even if they didn't have a small enough size in the ones I liked. I even got really jealous when boys started getting taller and their voices got deeper. I always loved getting sick because my voice would get deeper. Still grt excited from being sick even at 25 lol. Ever since I was a toddler, I was drawn to hanging out with boys, I always got so shy with girls. Not because I didn't like girls, my first closest friends were girls. It was more like...I felt like I was just missing something. I couldn't put my finger on it. I have this memory of picture day in 5th grade. I wore a skirt, and a frilly shirt and I remember spending the entire day trying to not cry from how awful I felt. I felt wrong, and perverted for some reason. I felt so weird and awful and I had no idea why. I was so confused, I thought my outfit was so pretty when I put it together. But I so vividly remember being horrified at my girl body when I saw myself in the bathroom and I felt like an alien in my own body. I almost felt numb from how scared I was. I didn't realize how much puberty affected my body until that moment. I'll never forget it.
Thank your for this. I'm realizing now that healing my inner kid is also going to have to include transitioning. I can't live a life cowering from mirrors and slouching to hide my chest anymore. You're very right. There's no right way to be trans
I am a trans man and I just got out of the “I can’t be trans because I didn’t hate puberty” phase and the trying to be “super girly” phase. I realized that men can be feminine and I learned to love that actually!
The part about dysphoria is so true. Like, I didn’t even start recognizing that I had any until I first experienced gender euphoria in the form of someone using they/them for me while I was doing a Homestuck cosplay. And then I started recognizing what types of feelings toward my birth gender were dysphoria bc they didn’t fit into the traditional narratives for that. Gender euphoria really should be talked about more imo. And if transphobes wanna attribute that as AGP, they deserve to be [REDACTED]. ✨
I doubt myself pretty often because I didn't show a lot of signs when I was younger and it really makes me wonder if the transphobes are right, that I've just tricked myself into thinking I'm trans.
MTF I have been struggling with that same feeling for the past 4 days, as well as the thought that I'm taking a fetish/kink thing to far. But my wife reminds me that "you wouldn't hurt this much if it was just a sex thing" and I find that helps me not doubt myself
The algorithm brought me here. It took me a long time to acknowledge being a trans man, because growing up I really wanted to be like other girls and fit in. I used the non-binary and lesbian labels for years before realizing that other non-binary people probably didn't actively try to convince themselves that they weren't men. Wild concept, I know. I still feel like an imposter a lot of the time, but it is slowly getting better. I've made progress towards getting on HRT and having top surgery, which is helping with that.
I feel like an imposter sometimes. Had people in my life telling me it was a phase and refused to acknowledge my emotions. I had parents who pointed out any change in my body that was feminine or masculine, whether it was making fun of my leg hair or telling me I looked pregnant. As a trans guy who is on low T (passing but as a fem boy) i can call myself a man but when it comes to bubbling it in on papers or anything I just feel a little strange. A voice of guilt about it comes up.
The longer I am on T the less I think about it but when I was pre-t and early T the thought of describing myself as a man felt so shameful.
You're not alone in that. I'm transmasc non-binary, and I feel like I'm losing the non-binary part (not sad about it, just putting it out there). When I think back about how various forms of address made me feel, she/her/Miss/Ma'am always felt wrong and uncomfortable, but he/him/sir/Mr. felt shameful, like I'd failed at whatever requirement there was to be part of that club. My mother has asked me over the years if I'm trans, and if I'd ever think about transitioning. I told her that unless doctors could build me a functioning dick, there was no point in even considering it. I'm in my late forties; we were more ignorant about gender, sex, sexuality, and gender expression when I was growing up. If I'd known then what I know now, I'd have transitioned during high school and never looked back.
I've just passed one year on T, and my funding for top surgery has recently been approved. During the pandemic, I started transitioning socially. Having a functioning penis didn't matter any more-- I had to try to be myself, because trying to be someone I wasn't hadn't worked out. Hearing he/him/sir/Mr. feels correct now, and I feel like I'll embrace it even more once I get some things off my chest.
thank you, I really needed this. I've been on T for 7 months now and starting it made me think about my gender identity a lot more in a more abstract way, giving me a lot of doubt and anxiety that I've never experience before. Don't get me wrong, I went to two therapists for my transition and both of them gave me the ok to start T, so it's not like i didn't think about it before (it took me years, to realize). But facing all the changes in my body and in other people perception of me made me a lot anxious and made me think "oh my god, why am I not loving all these changes?", "why am I still so sad and grossed out with my body?". All these questions brought out the doubts and, like you said, doubts brings doubts and create a circle. I'm a very anxious person and I'm afraid a lot of change (I'm certain about it bc I've talk about it with my therapist) and of course I needed time - I still need time - to getting used to all the changes that T brought. Now I'm so much better, even tho I sometimes still feel like an imposter, but I always watch videos like yours bc they help me feel like I'm not the only one, I'm not alone
God, this is so helpful. I really appreciate it. I've been so, constantly scared.
I feel so desperate to really KNOW and FEEL like a woman.
There were some signs I had as a child, but something that makes me hyper uncomfortable is that, I was pretty comfortable.
I don't know if I was always trans, or if I became trans. If I always had these feelings, or if these feelings developed as I matured. (Which came first, the chicken or the egg? :3)
It's so hard to tell, and I want my experience to line up with everyone else. That if I didn't want to be a girl, if I didn't experience dysphoria as a child, that if I liked being a boy, that must mean that I am not a girl now.
It's so painful, and it's so anxiety educing to feel like I'm rewriting my story in order to make it more in line with how my story was "supposed" to be.
But it's true, it's so much more important who I am NOW. I am a woman NOW. Was I before? Would I have been happier as a girl before? I don't know, possibly no.
But even if that's the case, it doesn't have to stop me from being who I want to be now.
Your comment made me think of Matt Bernstein's conversation with Lucy Kartikasari (here on YT), a detransgender woman who seems very much at peace with her _entire_ journey, from transitioning fairly early in life and living as trans masc for many years, to detransitioning because her sense of who she was had changed. What I took from hearing her experience is that yes, your gender identity can change over the course of your life, and who's to say that you can't follow your inner sense of self to wherever it leads you?
Even though I'm not trans, this spoke to me on some deep level. Maybe because I tend to be intensely scared of making _any_ decisions that seem to be "for life". But isn't, outside of medical necessities and the like, the only thing that makes gender transition _seem_ to be a "for life" type of decision, social conventions? You go into this specific box, and that's where you'll stay for the rest of your life. But like, why?
I think as a society we've only just begun to scratch the surface of how varied gender expression can be, and if the greater visibility of trans folks these days shows us one thing, it's that sadly, we're pretty ill-equipped to deal with variety and nuance. "I think on some level I've always known" kinda becomes its own box, and what's so frustrating about those boxes, to me, is that for those who fit into them, they can be the safe haven they desperately needed, but for those who don't (quite), they can become a source of intense anxiety and stress. I have no idea how to solve this, but for now I love that esp. social media (for all its downsides) can provide people with spaces to share and validate their nuances.
Humans are complex, and that's a beautiful thing. You are valid. Much love 💜
@@FinalMeep Oh thank god I read the beginning of your comment and I thought you were saying "Oh I think you're a detransitioner". But no, that's really insightful and cool~!
Thank you so much for your content and videos, it helps so much hearing that not everyone knew from childhood on that they were trans. I am 26 and only started questioning about 3 years ago, before that I was already a masc presenting „lesbian“ but before I figured that out, back in puberty I had the same or at least kind of similar thoughts you had („omg finally boys will like me“ etc).
I never thought about my gender, when someone would call me like „Ma’am, …“ I just thought that I found it odd and uncomfortable because I was still young and not used to being called a „woman“ instead of „child“. Now things start to make a lot more sense, I am not a woman lol! Still not out yet, trying to find the courage to start my transition. Your content helps a lot though, thank you.
i've been having alot of doubts especially about my past and how i've shown signs of being trans as a kid. Because I didn't have the consistent "signs" of the stereotypical trans man experience I feel like i've been just tricking myself into being trans. It's really nice to hear some reassurance from someone who went through similar experiences in their childhood. love the vid
Same, as a kid I was told boys were gross and bad so I would tell people I was happy about being a girl but it was just because I didn’t want to be gross
i havent watched the video yet, but oh god this couldn't have been recommended at a better time. i have been kind of gaslighting myself for the past couple months that im not actually trans and im just a pathetic creature that needs to get my shit together. Imma add this to my watch later for now. thank you
Oh my! As a trans woman struggling with all of this, thank you for this, just thank you. Every single point I could see me in it. Thank you for your openness and insightfulness.
MTF I have been struggling with that same feeling for the past 4 days, as well as the thought that I'm taking a fetish/kink thing to far. But my wife reminds me that "you wouldn't hurt this much if it was just a sex thing" and I find that helps me not doubt
I came out a few weeks ago, im still not fully out, but your videos have helped me so much to calm my anxiety, because i have a lot of doubts, one cause my experience is more like yours, and two im austic and recognising feelings and how i feel about myself and my body is practically impossible. what i do know is that im not cis, and most probably a boy, but yeah thanks for talking about this trans experience
When I started figuring out that I was trans, I felt so much comfort in the idea that "gender is fluid", "even *if* there's such a thing as a binary gender experience, that one wouldnt be mine anyways".
Around 8 years ago, I started T, had top surgery, socially transitioned and fully presented as a man.
This was absolutely the right thing for me to do at that time. I would 100% not be here anymore if I hadn't.
But now I don't feel that anymore. Right now, Im not a man. I don't have any regrets, but I did feel an immense fear and denial -similar to when I started this journey - if I was ever "really trans", if I was "trans enough".
And again, the idea that gender is fluid, and mine is very much so, has given me a lot of peace.
I know Im trans. And even if I wasnt, it doesnt matter. Im living this life the way I feel is best at that moment.
That made some decisions a lot easier, like being OK with any/all pronouns and slowly expressing my gender in more feminine ways too. While other decisions, like maybe stopping T, is still very scary.
Trans is just a word, just a descriptor. Something that is both so big and so unimportant. Transness is never a competition, and nothing you have to prove to anyone.
No matter what, you are valid. And I am valid.
We'll figure it out
I'm one minute into the video and I already feel better because I have the same image of what a trans man is. And I'm all of the opposite, I found out I'm trans when I was around 22 (like a year ago), I love feminine things and I like my body (I do get dysphoria sometimes but not always)
I love this video so much, and it's so true; I don't have that much imposter syndrome (anymore) with being trans, but one quote I heard a while ago that I think some trans person somewhere needs to hear is: you do not need gender dysphoria to be trans, you only need gender euphoria
thanks for the video, absolutely true points!!!
I really related to the part about being happy about some parts of puberty as a trans person. I remember when I was 13, I was so excited to get my period and develop breasts so I could finally relate to other girls more because there always felt like there was a disconnect between me and them. It was more about me being excited and happy to belong to a group rather than becoming me.
Thank you, truly, I cannot express how much this video helped me. Thank you.
WOW, eu estava precisando muito ouvir isso e não sabia até realmente estar ouvindo. Eu tenho me cobrado muito recentemente e pra mim tem sido um período difícil pois eu me descobri como uma pessoa não-binaria ainda esse ano. E por causa dessa descoberta eu estava tentando negar e odiar tudo que eu era antes, sendo que na realidade eu sempre fui eu mas apenas não reconhecia isso antes. E apesar de ter mudado muito do meu estilo e ter mudado meu nome também talvez agora eu possa entender que não isso porque me odeio mas sim porque me amo
"Just think of me as one of the girls" - things I'd say long before I realized I hated living as, and being seen as, a man. I don't know if I ever doubt my decision to medically transition (4 months in, crrently), but I sure af feel anxious about it sometimes. Because I have fkn anxiety, and that's how anxiety works.
This is a great video. I feel exactly the same way. I have major imposter syndrome with a lot of things in my life and being trans is one of them. As a non binary person leaning more to the masc side, and as someone who watched youtubers like kalvin garrah with the "non binary people are not real, theyre trans trenders, you cant be trans unless you fully medically transition and hate yourself" when i was young, i felt like since i do not relate fully to the transman experience i could not be trans. Even now, when ive moved past those, i still get the thought in the back of my mind telling me that i cannot be trans if i dont wanna kms or im just pretending but not comitted enough to be a trans man.
Whats helped me so much in validating myself (even though that should not be the goal) was going through top surgery. I told myself that even if i wasnt trans, women get brest reduction surgery too so its ok, but this was the right move forward because its something i think about every single day. When i had it done, that was the most happy i felt in a long time, even though i already lead a happy life.
Support from my family was also a major factor in my own validation. Im lucky to have a family who accepts me, (my grandmother thought it was an already known fact and told my uncle before i even knew or told anyone myself....). They without hesistation accepted when i wanted to try a new name and pronouns and being able to do that helped me so much. For people without that support at home, doing the same with supportive friends would be similar i would assume.
I still question myself all the time but at some point you just have to comit to what the 99% of your brain is telling you vs that 1% that can be so loud when you are looking for that doubt. Im very lucky in my circumstance, because in any other i probably would not have been able to accept that part of me.
Hi I'm sorry you feel this way... and i'm so happy that top surgery help you be happier. And honestly still doubt myself too not as much at all as i used to but it happens and honestly I don't mind anymore ^^
I have recently moved back to my country, and even though my previous country wasn't supportive or even allowed me to be open with who I am, it still got more restrictive in a way.
I used to live Saudi Arabia, and about 16 years there were spent into making myself a comfortable shell, surrounded by people who do support me and are like me from school. I had to wear abayas, long dresses as school uniform, not hiding the shade of the chest, long hair, very feminine fashion, scarves, head scarves, but I felt better because there were people who actually knew what I was under all of that.
I've just moved back to Pakistan due to some personal issues, and I'm nearly 18 years old, but moving back here makes things feel worse. It feels like everyone's staring at you if your a little bit different, which wasn't the case back home (yes, I'll call it home because it felt like home). Back there I felt open because I had choices, here I have them too, but they come with lots of judgement. That part I hate the most is that I'm closer to my extended family more than I was before, physically, never emotionally. They've always felt like thorns to me, ever since I was young, and it just got worse as I grew and learned more about myself.
Coming back here also rid me of the physical comfort I got around friends and teachers I had back there, I have no one here, not even my own parents know about me. Though I convinced my mom to buy me a sports bra, for some reason my eyes tell me that it doesn't work as well as it did before (even though it never did, tbh).
My mind keeps telling me that maybe what I thought I was a result of too much freedom, I had the choice to think about who I am, and I delved into overthinking. That's what my head makes me think. There'll forever be a part of me who thinks that life would be easier if I just stayed what I eas born as, female, a girl, a woman, but I also hate it, because I know that I'm not thinking for myself when I say that, I'm thinking for other people (i.e society, my family, extended relatives, friends, etc.)
I just hurts so much when even your own head tries to fuck you over so much, and it's hard trying to get used to it let alone get over it.
Appreciate the video, helped a lot. Stay safe, and love yourselves ❤️
Omg, I just found your channel and this video is helping so much. I'm not even done watching the clip but I had to day thank you for the video. I feel like I want to be a boy but I can't be one. Like... I've had people tell me I'm not trans because I didn't know sooner and because I'm anxious and cautious of this big possible change in my life. It really sucks but no one really around me has the same experience that I have. So thank you once again for this vid! Have a great day/evening!
Despite still having my doubts this video helped a lot 💞🥺, especially the metaphor of moving to another country and deciding where you would be more happy rather then moving with misery I really like that. I'd say I'm a nonbinary transman, I've already pretty much settled on that for a year or two now with all the soul searching and questioning, but I feel a lot of doubt, and mainly fear when it comes to coming out to the people around me at my job since being trans feels so personal
Thank you for this I really needed it I have always felt like I cant be trans because I only started feeling this way after I found out what it is so I'm faking it and lying to myself buttons helped a lot
I have been trying to give my brain time to cope with adapting to the reality of being transgender for 10 years and to this day it still finds ways to convince me I'm completely cyst despite the zillions of red flags I've gotten over the years.
my dysphoria level is stable now that i've been on T for 1 year and a half and since i understood that i was basically a trans femboy who doesnt wear skirts, the only problem is that i really struggle to ,find representation, in media and also just within the trans community ... if you read this and relate then know that you're not alone 💜💜 yay!!
wowowow i love this video. something about faking i heard once that changed my life is that if you were faking, you would know it. faking is something intentional.
Trans to me is like saying fat or skinny , we will never be skinny of thicc enough , love your skin how ever you choose
As a dark skin trans guy I relate to mostly seeing the white trans guys with fluffy hair (thats the only type of trans guys I've seen) it's rare that I'll see a dark skinned trans guy. I thought and still think that I'm an imposter because of the fact that on some days I don't care how I present whether it's girly or more masculine. This video helped so thanks for popping up on my fyp❤
This is the video I wish I had watched in 2010 ;__;
Yes! Some people who wish for something already have it, but don't believe they do.
I remember I used to want to look more like a girl, but it always felt wrong. I just wanted to be accepted as my birth sex, and was denying my identity
U explained how I’ve been feeling almost perfectly in this video ❤❤
I'm transmasc and genderfluid. I know this but there's always kind of a doubt. I needed to hear this.
I totally agree with the video, but for me part of it was actually my gender itself. I've since realized I'm nonbinary transmasc, not simply a trans guy. Admitting that to myself has made me much more sure, because I now know you don't have to strictly be only a guy to be a trans guy.
I related to this, a lot. Gotta think on that a lot, i think. I've been struggling with denial for the past... well, longest amount of time, I guess.
To be honest, i just keep denying it. I really dont know right now
Thanks for this. I just got recommended and started watching out of curiosity a shitty video about how trans people suck and are undateable, so this was good to get that off my mind lol
holy shit i forgot imposter syndrome was a thing (after dealing with it for two years straight lmao 😭😭)
i legit cant even imagine doubting it anymore
I’ve always appreciated growing up as a woman, so I thought I couldn’t be trans, but I think I’m just glad to be trans because I would be a completely different person if I was cis, especially a cis man. I would have a lot less understanding about minorities and queerness and I would probably even be transphobic like my parents are.
Thanks for the video! I have struggled with all of these. Especially the idea that trans people always know since they were children. There's a picture of me when I was like 6, dressed as a princess and I seem happy. That photo haunts me. I don't remember how I felt about girlhood back then, what if I liked it? What if that means I could like it again? If I gave my younger self the choice, would they still be a boy? But I guess all that matters is how I feel now.
Hii I know exactly what picture you are talking about. I have one dressed as a fairy and my smile on the picture shows how happy i was. Still I am the happiest ever with my transition. Trust your gut rather than comparing with other people (i know its easier said than done). Wish you all the best on your journey ^^
@@eliahvlog28 Thank you, it's good to know others have the same thoughts.
Even after one year of being out to my parents I still feel like "I want to be a boy", not that I am one. My detrans kink just made it worse ig :( I rlly want someone to talk to but I kinda isolate myself
Beautifully explained
Thank you! This video was very reassuring and gave me a lot to think about!
I thought I just wasn't trans "enough" for a bit after I came out. That like because I would boymode sometimes(for safety or general easier time in society) and be able to appreciate when I can look like an attractive boy that I must not be a woman. Turns out I was still a woman.and a beautiful woman at that. I just also like to play with gender presentation sometimes if I enjoy it.
Thank you so much i feel so seen and im like 14 and questioning my gender and this helps a lot
wow ok look i doubted becuase i dont hate being a man but i love being a woman and when you said dont focus on gender dysphoria but focus on gender euphoria i was like your right when pepole see me as a woman when i get affirmation of that gender i feel great but as a man im like what ever it makes total sense to me
i thought i didnt have any euphoria so that justified me not being trans, despite wishing to be a woman every time i woke up, but the thing is the first time i dressed feminine i literally jumped up and down out of joy yet somehow i denied it being euphoria lol
this video helped me so much.. thanks
Its a nice video with a good message... But I couldn't get over how you are such a feminine transmasc, and I vibe with that energy, you go my guy, live your best life.
(If me saying that made you dysphoric, I am sorry. Based on the words in the video, I think it is probably okay?)
I think my biggest thing that makes me feel like an imposter is what if I’m not a boy, what if I just hate having comically large breasts. What if I’m just a really masc girl or nb who just wants a flat chest and a beard and deep voice. And then I smack myself and tell myself to shush, that makes no sense lol.
I always thought that nonbinary people are so cool and 'lucky' (not always tho, ofc). Cuz clothes never really defined anything to me, like, mixed clothes are a natural thing in 21st century, why sweat it? Then, 6-7 monthish later i thought that i was demigirl or femenby, cuz i love feminity and embraced it (i had a afab partner also atm). But sometimes i still doubt myself, who am i even?
With so many doubts and everything, how did you make the desicion if to transition or not ?
Very good question. I stopped overthinking everything and I started just trusting my heart. By that I mean I started doing what made me happy and just give myself time to experiment with gender. i noticed that often when my mind was doubting my body being true to my heart (for example: doubting i was trans at all while puting on a binder, or doubting i was trans while looking up boys names)
Its hard to explain it in one comment I’ll try to make a video. In the meantime tell me if that helped or not :)
True, I get your point...a video would be awesome ❤ thank you a lot for all your content
when i was little, before puberty, i wanted breasts and started wearing bras early because i wanted to be attractive (i think it'd really fucked up that i wanted to be sexy as a small child, but thats besides the point) i felt like i wasnt enough until i got boobs, then when i did get boobs, I HATED IT. but whenever i talk about hating my boobs, i get discredited by my family because "well you wanted boobs as a kid" or "you'll always want what you dont have"
and then theres the case of my injuries, i have been injured on multiple occasions by my over sized chest, and it makes it impossible to take proper care or myself and live a normal life, so i dont know if i just want them gone because of the pain they cause, or because im trans? do i have dysphoria because im in so much pain, or am i in so much pain because of dysphoria?? (i see so many people with much larger chests than me who never complain about it, but its all i can think about 90% of the time-)
You can try having a breast reduction if you still want some type of breasts. I am taking 200-400 mg of Vitamin E to deal with my breast pain (aka mastalgia). Also they said Evening Primrose Oil helps if you take it for 6 months. Vitamin E helps after 2 months. I found that was true for me. I wanted to have top surgery just to get rid of my pain but now I'm not as sure as the vitamin E is helping me.
I thought you were going to say "the only right way to be trans is to like and subscribe". Lol
BAHAHAH will do that next time
Does it apply for potential trans women?
I actually neither liked puberty I was scared my voice sounded too much like my father one and always hated hairs, I still pluck my beard now at 20
I remember thinking at the time that you can’t be trans after puberty to I felt so bad about a future myself could’ve hated me for not coming out even if I didn’t felt it
Also had a strong dissociation for my image since I have memory
Probably tho is worth reasoning why even so young I was already worried to not being able to be trans?
If you ever thought "i wish i was a man/woman" cause you thought you werent one
Congrats, you are trans
Its not a thing cis people think
Like sure, you could be nonbinary too, but the feeling i want to be *this* gender, even if its flactuating, is inherently not cis.
This include "i wish i was NOT a man/woman"- this is even more likely to mean nonebinary.
Cis people dont do it
Wait, why is this describing me???? That wasn't meant to happen-
Went to a local pride rally today and now I'm questioning everything so hard omg
Some people think this for us
wait... okay... but what if i just have "trans envy".
man, i was getting kinda teary-eyed and then the moment in 5:31 made me laugh so hard. thanks for sharing this, its given me a lot to think about :D
btw, as a guy at the moment, Rn you look really good, i like the style, the hair, the voice, I duno if thats comforting or weird, but Just thouht that as a guy rn, before I transition, i'd lile to say that your hot.
This may be bad advice, but I would just say don't give a shit about labels. I was very unsure about my personal identity, and I wasn't sure if I would be happier as a girl or not, I like skirts and girly clothes, but I didn't feel like a girl inside, nor did I really act like I felt a girl should act. So basically, I just said "Fuck it. Traditional gender roles suck ass anyways. I'll wear girly clothes if I want, and act however I feel comfortable." I identify as genderfluid now, but I don't really stress it much. In an ideal world, boys and girls wouldn't be pressured to act one way or the other. If I've already broken out of the idea that you're born one way or the other, why the hell should I continue thinking in terms of male or female at all?
you're implying that identifying as a man or woman is enforcing gender roles and stereotypes. lets maybe not do that?
@@TheParklifeChoseMe Fair enough. I did say it might be bad advice. I don't like thinking in terms of male or female, but I can understand that plenty of people probably do feel affirmed by the labels. I do think that even the continued use of such binary terms can still enforce gender roles and stereotypes to an extent, but I also do feel it can be mitigated fairly effectively.
@okarthegreat you also identify with a label. you just think (or at the very least act like you think) your label is more valid than others
5:31 lmao I feel attacked
Thanku for this
I cannot thank you enaugh.
Im feel you?!
Thank you.
i didnt had very very little dysphoria, so i kept thinking "i dont have enough dysphoria, therefore im not trans enough" and then the real dysphoria hit and it felt like i was a deer at night getting run over by like five monster trucks so im pretty sure now 🫠
very useful ty :)
You look like my coworker I had to do a massive double take because I am sure he is not trans LMAO
the music is for me to loud and annoying.
because you are one
4:59 REAL !!!!
eek Scary😵💫😵
Ew…
ew to you bud, you cant accept trans people for no reason
AMONG US!!!
you might have ocd
Why are you all doing this to yourselves. Why convince yourself to be trans. Why do you want to be trans so badly!
nobody wants to be trans, its not a choice we get to make
You doubt yourselves because you know it's not real.
Have you never doubted yourself as you nervously walked to the podium to present your work? In the end, was it a total failure? Did the lights flicker out and did the cool person in the back laugh at you? Or did it turn out slightly okay in the end?
I’ve gotten a lot of replies before of people just saying “🥚” or “🏳️⚧️” and now this appears in my recommended multiple times! Ahh hell naw I’m not beating the allegations now lmao 😂
Maybe a hot take, but calling people eggs or implying they might be trans when they don't identify themselves as such is toxic behavior. It's likely to annoy those who are cis and are just gender-nonconforming, and it's not a healthy basis for trans people to start their journey from.
If one of your biggest realizations was forced onto you by other people, you'll probably question it much more than if you got there on your own. We should really learn to refrain from assigning identities to others, it's tempting because we see signs we relate to, but in the end it's just a generalization we make. Some people just express themselves differently.
I hope you still manage to define what *you* know you are, regardless of whether it's "cis but sparkly", "trans" or anything else!
@@VaporSprite i don’t think it’s a hot take I think it definitely is just common courtesy to not try and force someone to be something they aren’t tho unfortunately not everyone thinks the same as us two tho I do think some people who said things like i was an egg or trans and not admitting it were just joking or try to help just not in the right way but there also were some people who were just trying to force it onto me just because they think it’s right and unfortunately something that’s weirdly happened a lot to me. I’m getting a bit off topic now but idk why in my life people online and irl have tried to make force me to be things I’m not like in school one of my friends kept telling people I’m asexual and telling me that I was asexual even though I’m definitely not, it’s just such a weird trait that a lot of people have for some reason and it sucks to be on the receiving end of it
@@f3m80y It's very frustrating, but yeah, chalk that up to the presence of bad actors in every community. You don't seem to hold all trans people responsible for that, which is more than many do, though. Thanks for seeing the nuance in things and speaking up about this issue!
@@VaporSprite yeah unfortunately just some people don’t respect that it can take people a long time to figure out what they are like i definitely am questioning my gender identity because i have no idea what i am and it’s taking me a year and a half to figure that out for myself yet people hear “im not sure if my gender” and immediately think 🥚 or decide that ur trans when they don’t even know you. Also no need to thank me for this even though in my original comment i presented it in a joke way it is a significant problem that i see appear way too often
@@f3m80y I'm non-binary and satisfied with just that definition, it helps me feel free to just do and be what I want to without asking further. I think you could ask a whole bunch of people what "gender" means, or what "being a man" or "being a woman" means, you'd get hundreds of different answers. Sure, there's bound to be overlap, but there's also overlap in what people see as being a man and being a woman. So yeah, it's abstract AF.
Try things out if you're curious, see how different things make you feel... Have fun with it! It doesn't have to be something that stresses you out, it can be a lot of fun to try stuff. What helped me most so far was definitely talking about it to people I love and having them give me tips on clothing, styling and stuff. Hearing these things from others will probably give you instant reactions like "yeah that's me" or "I would never" 😂
What conclusions you draw from all this stuff is up to you, you can like wearing a dress or stockings and still be a man. You can be butch and still be a woman. You can be enby and thrive in fluidity. No one can tell you where the line is supposed to be.