I'm really happy you posted this -- I'm 26 as well. This was the first time I've heard someone else express the same thoughts I had growing up - I was 12 when I knew for sure, but I felt it would be best to dismiss the feelings, since I did like boys (it wasn't best lmao). At the time, I understood that revealing this could change my friends perception of me and had the potential to negatively impact the dynamic/friendship (because of the same social norms you mentioned). I thought that it would be best to keep it to myself, but I wish I hadn't felt so worried. Those same friends are still my friends today and they never would have cared. I love your content, especially your podcast! Thank you for sharing so authentically
Before going to college, I also thought about how it would be virtually unattainable/unrealistic to date girls since most people are straight (at least a good majority - maybe especially seemingly when you're young). Despite living in a progressive major city and most adults being very accepting like your parents, my social environment (Catholic school) made me decide to keep it to myself.
As a girl who only realized she was bi 3 years ago, your last video & this one both helped me so much. The feeling of wanting everyone to see you as the same person but knowing they won’t is overwhelming. Judging & questioning yourself constantly is a big part of it that sucks too but it helps knowing how common it is.
I think something that helps to breakdown internalized biphobia is to remind yourself that both sexuality and gender are fluid, ever-changing, ever-growing things. Once you can accept your own fluidity it becomes much easier, and you will get there!
Not sure what tells you we haven't "chosen" if we are bi. We've chosen bi. If it was ice cream, would you say, "Just choose"? What if I want to eat chocolate one day, vanilla the next day, and strawberry with chocolate chips the 3rd day? Thursday I date a girl, Friday I date a boy, Saturday I date a transgirl, Sunday I date a transman. Maybe on Monday I date someone who is Ace. Tuesday I date someone Intersex. Baskin Robbins has over 1400 flavors. I'm trying all of them. And some nights I want a banana split with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. :)
I was never friends with other girls that are my type and I’m just now realizing thanks to this podcast that that was probably because I was afraid and nervous to talk to them. I suppressed how I felt so much that I was subconsciously avoiding the cute girls 😭
Your journey mirrors mine from 6 years ago sooooo closely. From worrying people will think I’m different, to being happy and being like wait I am different! The way you viewed your own sexuality when you thought you were straight. I struggled with internalized biphobia for a bajillion years. I identify as queer more than bi now, but neither here nor there. Just feeling very seen and know you’re walking beside many other queer people on your journey
i understand why you feel biphobia, i am too and i feel that way. i think it would be easier to put things into a black and white category because our world is often so back and white. it’s easy to invalidate our feelings if it’s not one way or another. it almost feel like our brains compulsively focus on the space between two extremes urging us to pick a side. i learnt about dialectical thinking years ago for therapy and i think the concept might help you like it’s helped me. i still feel a mind f*ck sometimes trying to rationalize a middle ground but it’s validating to hear the idea of dialectical thinkings, meaning things can seem opposite but both be true at the same time. i think since you feel so strongly for your girlfriend it might feel wrong to say you aren’t a lesbian because of that but your bisexuality doesn’t take away from how valid and real your love is for her ♡ acknowledging you’ve been attracted and connected with men in the past is just being self aware and doesn’t make your your current relationship or feelings any less significant. i hope your able to embrace bisexuality someday, it’s easier said than done and i sadly can relate!
I've been watching her since 2020. I also feel the same way where i'm like ok..... I may be?? into girl? only a girl.. but she's so me. I just get it. I was always into hockey boys, then one 1** girl caught my eye. so I get it, ugh. she's the only influencer", or girl that I watch. support, love her. I just see her in me, it's real
Ever since I was young, I’ve been attracted to both men and women. it’s really difficult to feel like I am always judged by fully queer women or straight like I don’t fit in either and both judge me. there’s nothing I can choose. I’m just attracted to both and I am monogamous. I don’t want to date multiple people at once and I’d say too much of my life I’ve been single and isolated. It’s hard to accept myself when I feel like most people don’t accept me. It does create a lot of inner turmoil. I was also raised a very religious household, so it’s just difficult all around I guess.
My wife use Bupropion for her adhd, nothing else worked or had very bad side effects. But this is in the Netherlands. She only has some side effects for a few days.
How much wine did you drink? You sound like me having a drunk conversation with myself. Or is that the premise of this podcast? I also have adhd, haha.
I came out as bi at 25, but then literally never dated a man again, lol. I then really processed and broke down attraction within myself and realized I’m fully gay. The longer life goes on the more signs I see from childhood! It’s weird how our brain buries those things until we can finally put them in the right context ❤
bi is definitely not synomous with polamory. you choose your partner (whatever gender) and then you choose the relationship style that works for the both of you! but you know this...
ilysm becca ❤ and miss you!! when is shannon bringing us together again cause I've learned how to make bracelets that don't break now so basically I'm unstoppable
Similarly, college was huge time for signs that I was trans. In a co-ed middle school, my closest friends mostly ended up coming out, and some classmates who crushed on me turned out to be cis lesbians. In an all boys Catholic high school, I had so little opportunity to hang out with women or female peers. Once I'm in a co-ed university, I pretty much only connected socially with female classmates. Maybe half of them were LGBTQ. I had crushes on some, and maybe one liked me back (I was too self-conscious to explore those feelings). In my late 30's are started coming out more, and presenting more often with my C-cups in. After decades of repression, I was starting to manifest my real self, and women started noticing , some more than platonically, a few of which saying that they're straight. As I'm starting to build something up with a female friend who admires from a far (it's such a cliche, but tarot reads and astrology behavior tipped me off). At a Bowling for Soup concert, a hetero couple strongly seemed to be flirting with me, and the woman made a strong pass at me toward the end of the show. I was thinking, "This can easily go wrong in so many ways, and my heart belongs to someone else. ". You see, there's a Capricorn moon thing that makes this Gemini unstereotypically commital.
I went through a time where I think it was performative and kinda came out to friends but I felt like I was being fake because I didn’t like all girls. Watching this kinda reinforces the fact that I’m bi too I actually hooked up with this one girl and no one knows about so I don’t know how I could have been lying to myself for so long when no one even knew about it. 😂 awkward
Ive loved all ur content when u thought u were str8 and especially now bc im bi. But it kinda makes me feel hurt when you speak so negatively about bisexuality 😢 im just saying this bc i feel like maybe if u hear that it makes someone else feel hurt, u'll realise ur not being nice to urself too. And that sucks. U should accept urself.
You can be a monogamous bi. Polygamy isn't a bad thing too. It's just not stable in my opinion, mostly. Of course, it depends but open relationships (most common type of polygamy) are a huge fail if you opt for a serious and long-term relationship. If you just want a short-term fun activity with non serious partners, open relationships are fine. From what I see is that all types of polygamy are bound to fail or barely works, but "closed 3 people relationship" can be a success. It's very rare tho, to have a person who is in love with you and your partner at the same time. A person that can attract a couple, sincerely love them and be committed to them. It sounds weird but it can work in a long run. I've actually met a 3 people couple. 2 bi women and 1 straight dude. They loved each other a lot but they also said that it just happened and it was unplanned. They have been together for 22 years now and don't need 4th partner or others in a relationship. So yeah, polygamy is just something that is a choice. Your sexuality is very personal and not a choice but it takes a while to explore it. Life is a learning experience itself, and it will be like that until the death. Your opinions, perception of your identity and maturity changes every minute by tiny pieces.
U can choose not to redirect the emotions desire to feeling and doing action u choose to u can get help not to choose desire it not do it u just need help u just don't wanna do it put the work effort in u just wanna make excuses it's either u repent or u not gonna find a godly holy man just sinful wicked people not traditional people that is best for society culture traditional marriage for bring life etc not untraditional marriage etc
No u can choose u choose to follow it u choose to do the action u can choose not to do lesbian u can choose u have choice free will u just choose not to rather let it choose dictate for you u are slave to it your emotions rather than God
It was really interesting to listen to you but also incredibly exhausting, because you mumble under your breath half of the time. You have valuable things to say, do your listeners and yourself a favor and actually outright say it.
Why do you use the actual names of people if you tell personal stories like hookups? You are telling everybody on the internet about their personal lives. You can tell all the stories, just change the name of the characters.
@@ivonapetrovic2084 Ok, so she used their fake names without saying it`s fake names? It`s the first video I saw, so her just using the name of the girl across the hall she had a crush on, etc. sounded like she used their real name.
@@anthill1510She literally said she wasn't gonna say her name and just called her "Stacey". lol She uses fake names all the time. And all she said that she had a crush on her. lol
@@ivonapetrovic2084 I must have missed that, good to know that she is using fake names, I didn`t feel good listening to other peoples business. She said that Stacey made out with another woman in the hottub whom she also used a name for, so that was what I was worried about if it would have been real names.
"They’re just cool and smart and I wanna be around them" I used to have those exact same thoughts omg 😭
Omg same 😭😭
the buzzfeed quiz is a rite of passage for every queer kid ever 😭
Thanks for honesty. Internalized biphobia is real. Helps me feel more compassionate to my bi friends
The middle school gay test is so real. I identically thought “this is going to the grave”
As a graphic designer I love the fonts you’ve used throughout this pod, from the official cover to the thumbnails
I'm really happy you posted this -- I'm 26 as well. This was the first time I've heard someone else express the same thoughts I had growing up - I was 12 when I knew for sure, but I felt it would be best to dismiss the feelings, since I did like boys (it wasn't best lmao). At the time, I understood that revealing this could change my friends perception of me and had the potential to negatively impact the dynamic/friendship (because of the same social norms you mentioned). I thought that it would be best to keep it to myself, but I wish I hadn't felt so worried. Those same friends are still my friends today and they never would have cared. I love your content, especially your podcast! Thank you for sharing so authentically
Before going to college, I also thought about how it would be virtually unattainable/unrealistic to date girls since most people are straight (at least a good majority - maybe especially seemingly when you're young). Despite living in a progressive major city and most adults being very accepting like your parents, my social environment (Catholic school) made me decide to keep it to myself.
As a girl who only realized she was bi 3 years ago, your last video & this one both helped me so much. The feeling of wanting everyone to see you as the same person but knowing they won’t is overwhelming. Judging & questioning yourself constantly is a big part of it that sucks too but it helps knowing how common it is.
I think something that helps to breakdown internalized biphobia is to remind yourself that both sexuality and gender are fluid, ever-changing, ever-growing things. Once you can accept your own fluidity it becomes much easier, and you will get there!
‘Frat guys are everywhere, thats my type of guy. Sexuality really isn’t a choice’ 😂
I love the way you tell your stories, it keeps my attention the whole time. Another fun episode 💖
Not sure what tells you we haven't "chosen" if we are bi. We've chosen bi. If it was ice cream, would you say, "Just choose"? What if I want to eat chocolate one day, vanilla the next day, and strawberry with chocolate chips the 3rd day? Thursday I date a girl, Friday I date a boy, Saturday I date a transgirl, Sunday I date a transman. Maybe on Monday I date someone who is Ace. Tuesday I date someone Intersex. Baskin Robbins has over 1400 flavors. I'm trying all of them. And some nights I want a banana split with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. :)
Listening to your podcast is weirdly relaxing for me. lol Love it!
“I was walking around the playground, making out.” 😂 No outline needed! Love the way your mind works, and gems like the kindergarten story.
I was never friends with other girls that are my type and I’m just now realizing thanks to this podcast that that was probably because I was afraid and nervous to talk to them. I suppressed how I felt so much that I was subconsciously avoiding the cute girls 😭
Your journey mirrors mine from 6 years ago sooooo closely. From worrying people will think I’m different, to being happy and being like wait I am different! The way you viewed your own sexuality when you thought you were straight. I struggled with internalized biphobia for a bajillion years. I identify as queer more than bi now, but neither here nor there.
Just feeling very seen and know you’re walking beside many other queer people on your journey
Don’t apologize for your ADHD brain. It’s YOUR brain, and for me personally, I followed just fine. And find you hilarious
i understand why you feel biphobia, i am too and i feel that way. i think it would be easier to put things into a black and white category because our world is often so back and white. it’s easy to invalidate our feelings if it’s not one way or another. it almost feel like our brains compulsively focus on the space between two extremes urging us to pick a side. i learnt about dialectical thinking years ago for therapy and i think the concept might help you like it’s helped me. i still feel a mind f*ck sometimes trying to rationalize a middle ground but it’s validating to hear the idea of dialectical thinkings, meaning things can seem opposite but both be true at the same time. i think since you feel so strongly for your girlfriend it might feel wrong to say you aren’t a lesbian because of that but your bisexuality doesn’t take away from how valid and real your love is for her ♡ acknowledging you’ve been attracted and connected with men in the past is just being self aware and doesn’t make your your current relationship or feelings any less significant. i hope your able to embrace bisexuality someday, it’s easier said than done and i sadly can relate!
You’re still normal Becca. Love is just love ❤
Telling my friends stresses me because I’m always like what if they think I like them
I'm a lesbian and didn't know until my mid twenties but the signs were there 😂
becca, ily but being poly and being bi are not one in the same 😂
She just means both are not believable lol I think
I've been watching her since 2020. I also feel the same way where i'm like ok..... I may be?? into girl? only a girl.. but she's so me. I just get it. I was always into hockey boys, then one 1** girl caught my eye. so I get it, ugh. she's the only influencer", or girl that I watch. support, love her. I just see her in me, it's real
When you said you DM'd a queer ultimatum participant before, I just knew it was Mal... we get you, girl
Obsessed with your valley girl accent
Ever since I was young, I’ve been attracted to both men and women. it’s really difficult to feel like I am always judged by fully queer women or straight like I don’t fit in either and both judge me. there’s nothing I can choose. I’m just attracted to both and I am monogamous. I don’t want to date multiple people at once and I’d say too much of my life I’ve been single and isolated. It’s hard to accept myself when I feel like most people don’t accept me. It does create a lot of inner turmoil. I was also raised a very religious household, so it’s just difficult all around I guess.
My wife use Bupropion for her adhd, nothing else worked or had very bad side effects. But this is in the Netherlands. She only has some side effects for a few days.
I had such a similar experiences growing up! Thanks for sharing 🥹
How much wine did you drink? You sound like me having a drunk conversation with myself. Or is that the premise of this podcast? I also have adhd, haha.
I came out as bi at 25, but then literally never dated a man again, lol. I then really processed and broke down attraction within myself and realized I’m fully gay. The longer life goes on the more signs I see from childhood! It’s weird how our brain buries those things until we can finally put them in the right context ❤
8:35 yeah definitely focus on that in therapy…… that’s 100% internalized biohobia
For sure
Im so glad you said this instead of something negative or hateful towards her. Beautiful and helpful. If only all ppl could take а cue from you.!
Lol Geminis rlly have to TELL ppl when they have a crush. Anyone who will listen 😂
the bi/poly thing was so funny to me 😭😭
have you ever watched the sẹx lives of college girls? i would love to hear your reaction to it/renee rapps character
bi is definitely not synomous with polamory. you choose your partner (whatever gender) and then you choose the relationship style that works for the both of you! but you know this...
ilysm becca ❤ and miss you!! when is shannon bringing us together again cause I've learned how to make bracelets that don't break now so basically I'm unstoppable
Similarly, college was huge time for signs that I was trans. In a co-ed middle school, my closest friends mostly ended up coming out, and some classmates who crushed on me turned out to be cis lesbians. In an all boys Catholic high school, I had so little opportunity to hang out with women or female peers. Once I'm in a co-ed university, I pretty much only connected socially with female classmates. Maybe half of them were LGBTQ. I had crushes on some, and maybe one liked me back (I was too self-conscious to explore those feelings).
In my late 30's are started coming out more, and presenting more often with my C-cups in. After decades of repression, I was starting to manifest my real self, and women started noticing , some more than platonically, a few of which saying that they're straight. As I'm starting to build something up with a female friend who admires from a far (it's such a cliche, but tarot reads and astrology behavior tipped me off). At a Bowling for Soup concert, a hetero couple strongly seemed to be flirting with me, and the woman made a strong pass at me toward the end of the show. I was thinking, "This can easily go wrong in so many ways, and my heart belongs to someone else. ". You see, there's a Capricorn moon thing that makes this Gemini unstereotypically commital.
I think you are in early days but sending lots of love. We are all different.
Honestly, who didn’t slip into Mals DMs 😮💨
Love this!
Stacey, Casey, and Macey lol
Came looking for this comment
I went through a time where I think it was performative and kinda came out to friends but I felt like I was being fake because I didn’t like all girls. Watching this kinda reinforces the fact that I’m bi too I actually hooked up with this one girl and no one knows about so I don’t know how I could have been lying to myself for so long when no one even knew about it. 😂 awkward
Ive loved all ur content when u thought u were str8 and especially now bc im bi. But it kinda makes me feel hurt when you speak so negatively about bisexuality 😢 im just saying this bc i feel like maybe if u hear that it makes someone else feel hurt, u'll realise ur not being nice to urself too. And that sucks. U should accept urself.
i’m working on it!!!!
What does she mean by choose?
i need this type of girlfriend. i should maybe look among "straight" girls
this is literally me
holyyy shit girl, im 18 and... DAMN u just like me
Me always wanting friends that seemed cool popular or pretty… huh I wonder why 😭
Feel like the story with "Stacy" got cut off. Did anything end up happening with her? 😬😄
You can be a monogamous bi. Polygamy isn't a bad thing too. It's just not stable in my opinion, mostly. Of course, it depends but open relationships (most common type of polygamy) are a huge fail if you opt for a serious and long-term relationship. If you just want a short-term fun activity with non serious partners, open relationships are fine. From what I see is that all types of polygamy are bound to fail or barely works, but "closed 3 people relationship" can be a success. It's very rare tho, to have a person who is in love with you and your partner at the same time. A person that can attract a couple, sincerely love them and be committed to them. It sounds weird but it can work in a long run. I've actually met a 3 people couple. 2 bi women and 1 straight dude. They loved each other a lot but they also said that it just happened and it was unplanned. They have been together for 22 years now and don't need 4th partner or others in a relationship. So yeah, polygamy is just something that is a choice. Your sexuality is very personal and not a choice but it takes a while to explore it. Life is a learning experience itself, and it will be like that until the death. Your opinions, perception of your identity and maturity changes every minute by tiny pieces.
So interesting all you love interests are Stacy, Macey, Kasey, Lacey etc lol
I mean I get being honest… but it also felt like you were perpetuating biphobia rather than trying to stop having internalized biphobia….
Love you ❤
Put some respect on Tatiana’s name😤😤😂
How do I know if men just suck or I'm bi
If you’re sexually attracted to more than one gender then you’re bisexual
Good stuff
❤️ed it 👏👏👏❣️
same
U can choose not to redirect the emotions desire to feeling and doing action u choose to u can get help not to choose desire it not do it u just need help u just don't wanna do it put the work effort in u just wanna make excuses it's either u repent or u not gonna find a godly holy man just sinful wicked people not traditional people that is best for society culture traditional marriage for bring life etc not untraditional marriage etc
No u can choose u choose to follow it u choose to do the action u can choose not to do lesbian u can choose u have choice free will u just choose not to rather let it choose dictate for you u are slave to it your emotions rather than God
I feel the same about poly 😅 they can do what they want I’m not in their business but I don’t Buy it 😩😅
Thanks you becca moore for your video fan italian kisses
Can you talk about your adderall experience?
BAD. I need a different version that doesn’t make me like … addicted it was bad
U keep this up u not gonna find godly traditional man raising a baby trading the traditional family
928th
FIRST
It was really interesting to listen to you but also incredibly exhausting, because you mumble under your breath half of the time. You have valuable things to say, do your listeners and yourself a favor and actually outright say it.
Great vids but the oversized mic is a turn off.
Why do you use the actual names of people if you tell personal stories like hookups? You are telling everybody on the internet about their personal lives. You can tell all the stories, just change the name of the characters.
She doesn't? She usually changes their names? lol She even changed the name of the girl she had a crush on here even though nothing happened.
@@ivonapetrovic2084 Ok, so she used their fake names without saying it`s fake names? It`s the first video I saw, so her just using the name of the girl across the hall she had a crush on, etc. sounded like she used their real name.
@@anthill1510She literally said she wasn't gonna say her name and just called her "Stacey". lol She uses fake names all the time. And all she said that she had a crush on her. lol
@@ivonapetrovic2084 I must have missed that, good to know that she is using fake names, I didn`t feel good listening to other peoples business. She said that Stacey made out with another woman in the hottub whom she also used a name for, so that was what I was worried about if it would have been real names.
@@anthill1510She used 2 fake names that rhyme. lol The focus is on her and her experience, no one else, and the signs she missed.
9:35 Gurl I was just about to ask if you have ADHD but I thought was impolite😂😂😂😂😂😂
HAHA no trust me I know.
Wait 😂😂😂 20:50 is MEME GOLD hahahaha the dropped face
Pretty is temporary dumb is forever.
Polyamory is when you love more then one person. i think you meant another word in that context ❤️ but its still pply true what you ve said anyways 🫶🏻