Straight Swords, Straight Women | comic by Centurii

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 990

  • @santino7470
    @santino7470 2 года назад +3849

    Don’t know whether to laugh at the monastery girl, or feel bad, or both.

    • @IAsimov
      @IAsimov 2 года назад +156

      Empathy, at the very least. The cubicle drone's pain has been going at it from the middle ages. You can do both.
      Come think of it, what would an "Office Space" movie be like if it was instead about Irish medieval monks transcribing texts?

    • @d.n5287
      @d.n5287 2 года назад +37

      Horrible histories showed those monks to get kinda funky at least in England

    • @peanut_wasteland
      @peanut_wasteland 2 года назад +54

      the third monk is an onee-san hunting her next shota

    • @straysoul1818
      @straysoul1818 2 года назад +6

      Both, both is good

    • @Fulcrox
      @Fulcrox 2 года назад +20

      @@peanut_wasteland being Centurii-verse, likely is a Loli

  • @thundercrash4775
    @thundercrash4775 2 года назад +3404

    Crusader Knight: No! I will not give in, my will is like steel!
    Everyone else: Steel is strong. *Until it gets hot.*

    • @DefinitelyNotEmma
      @DefinitelyNotEmma 2 года назад +200

      So steel = pasta?

    • @probablythedm1669
      @probablythedm1669 2 года назад +229

      @@DefinitelyNotEmma nah, steel does not get better when it's wet. 😆

    • @athatcher9367
      @athatcher9367 2 года назад +351

      Steel is strong until it gets hot and takes a good pounding….
      I’ll see myself out

    • @miked884
      @miked884 2 года назад +60

      @@athatcher9367 thanks dad (dad jokes)

    • @itsonlyafleshwound9024
      @itsonlyafleshwound9024 2 года назад +135

      @@probablythedm1669 You forget about quenching. Getting wet is an ESSENTIAL part of making a good sword.

  • @reivercaptain510
    @reivercaptain510 2 года назад +1938

    The monks kept little gardens, which were plagued by snails. The monks would then draw knights killing said snails in very violent ways out of frustration.

    • @DefinitelyNotEmma
      @DefinitelyNotEmma 2 года назад +170

      Based

    • @mokongthe3856
      @mokongthe3856 2 года назад +191

      Lessok to learn here are: Monks too are human, everyone can't resist to Doodle.

    • @barahng
      @barahng 2 года назад +110

      And salt was quite expensive back then so you couldn't just make a salt border around your garden like we do now to ward off snails.

    • @FrstSpctr88
      @FrstSpctr88 2 года назад +14

      And their magic grass and mushrooms were ruined by snails!
      :P

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 2 года назад +65

      There's also this theory that they used to test their quills by drawing circles and eventually turned those circles into snails because they look odd on the paper.

  • @probablythedm1669
    @probablythedm1669 2 года назад +6004

    You see those girls at the end? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.

    • @stellathefoxgirl3648
      @stellathefoxgirl3648 2 года назад +383

      I should get a curved sword myself-

    • @orcatwar9810
      @orcatwar9810 2 года назад +499

      I heard stories of the women in hammerfell liking women then men over there
      Maybe it was the curve swords

    • @OneBiasedOpinion
      @OneBiasedOpinion 2 года назад +273

      Do you get to the Cloud district often? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don’t.

    • @stellathefoxgirl3648
      @stellathefoxgirl3648 2 года назад +68

      @@OneBiasedOpinion I know I’ve bread that line before- but I can’t place my finger on where it’s from-

    • @dragotech1234
      @dragotech1234 2 года назад +88

      Let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll.

  • @IAsimov
    @IAsimov 2 года назад +5198

    In regards to snails, remember this: Monks transcribing texts were the medieval equivalent of data entry workers of the modern & contemporary eras. You would spend hours at a time writing down each sodding page with care, lest a misplaced brush ruins the whole thing and has you need to start over again. It was't a job as hellish as that of soldiers, but living a whole existence like this would sure as hell drive you into an existential malaise.
    The female monk's despair is one such possibility. When you have nothing but your job, you start doing silly shit in order to stay sane. The snails, rabbits, monkeys, and smiling beheaded people were, I believe, the doodles of bored transcribers. So not unlike students doing silly drawings on their notebooks because they're bored to tears over a professor's lectures.

    • @Phiigost
      @Phiigost 2 года назад +81

      Huh, interesting info. Thanks!

    • @MediaevalJames
      @MediaevalJames 2 года назад +327

      Snails could also be a reference to how painfully slow the work was.

    • @julesricard5933
      @julesricard5933 2 года назад +208

      Or... Snails have an actual meaning. They were seen as deceitful and evil creatures, juste like rabbits (who were a symbol of luxury). This is why there is a lot of knights riding snails or rabbits, it was a way to show evil knights

    • @FinnishCrystal
      @FinnishCrystal 2 года назад +257

      @@julesricard5933 but still, if you saw a snail as an evil sign and creature, would you really plop a human face onto it and make it be held like a baby, put them like horses and place snail wherever the fuck?
      I refuse to believe they did this unironically. It had to have been a medieval shitpost.
      A good example would be viking runes on top of a huuuge cliff, and after spending years, archeologists finally deciphered it to be "This place is really fucking high."

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 года назад +102

      @@julesricard5933 virgin good knight: rides horse, like a weakling. Is good, which is totally lame.
      Chad evil knight: rides literal snail to assert dominance and give themselves a speed handicap because they can. Or ride rabbits because drip is more important than practicality. Is evil, which is edgy af.

  • @cptcarlos583
    @cptcarlos583 2 года назад +2338

    “I’m going to the Orphanage to ‘pray’”
    Don’t worry guys, she’s just playing snail racing with the kids.

  • @mellosus1632
    @mellosus1632 2 года назад +2029

    "Your sword must be straight, and you shall be too. As the God commands."
    Flamberge Weilder: My sword isn't straight, *and I most definitely am not too*

    • @PaladinfffLeeroy
      @PaladinfffLeeroy 2 года назад +135

      A flamberge is just a straight sword with extra steps. The wielders of Flamberges often have intercourse with people other than their partners. Yup.

    • @maximnietokramskoi5728
      @maximnietokramskoi5728 2 года назад +34

      So you have chosen purge by straightening. 😋

    • @kitsunehistory
      @kitsunehistory 2 года назад +41

      Meanwhile the Saladin swordsman: I have a big, black sheated, curved sword

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +21

      @@PaladinfffLeeroy Are you saying that using a flamberge is cheating?

    • @PaladinfffLeeroy
      @PaladinfffLeeroy 2 года назад +31

      @@nevisysbryd7450 Yes, yes that is what I am saying.

  • @hfar_in_the_sky
    @hfar_in_the_sky 2 года назад +536

    One theory I heard about the snails was that they were meant to be a satirical representation of knights. It’d be the medieval equivalent of a nerdy younger brother drawing funny pictures of their jock, star of the football team older brother

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +31

      Except the knights were often _fighting_ the snails. Serfs and peasants were themselves _sometimes_ associated with or likened to snails and such, though, such as in the 1520s German Peasant War, or War of Snails.

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 2 года назад +4

      Nah the snails just got in their gardens. They drew knights slaying the snails as revenge lol

    • @raipe125
      @raipe125 2 года назад

      Lombards

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +1

      @@DabroodThompson But Centurii mostly does historically accurate-ish memes...

    • @samchoi1213
      @samchoi1213 2 года назад +6

      Forgot where I heard it from, but one explanation was that snails were supposed to be a slur against Germanic people. At the time, many of them were pawnbrokers and money lenders which made people describe them as generally slimy and sketchy, and the analogy of snails fit with the story of how they had to flee with "their houses on their back" when they were beaten by Charlamagne back in the day.

  • @Utubs
    @Utubs 2 года назад +1575

    Centurii always make the best comics, and I always love the dub you guys voice over them! History elements and questionable elements I need to have my headphones on for. Always wonderful.

    • @Utubs
      @Utubs 2 года назад +2

      @RоуаItу Gаming 🅥 I pressed it, skipped ahead, didn’t want to learn about pizza, and then clicked your channel finding out it was a rickroll. I wasn’t fooled by your games of trickery.

    • @veilnebula2411
      @veilnebula2411 2 года назад

      Forgive me friend, do you happen to know where does this Centurii usually post his comics? i cant seem to find them.

    • @Utubs
      @Utubs 2 года назад

      @@veilnebula2411 apologizes again friend, but it seems it isn’t an official account. Though, the account does link a Facebook account, and that most likely is the actual account. I wish you luck in finding where Centurii posts.

    • @veilnebula2411
      @veilnebula2411 2 года назад

      @@Utubs Very well then, i thank thee for your guidance my good fellow.

  • @Circ00mspice
    @Circ00mspice 2 года назад +941

    When I read "straight women" and "Centurii" together I had a brain aneurysm

    • @kaze0fox
      @kaze0fox 2 года назад +102

      *one of these things is not like the other.mp3*

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад +20

      How long were you in the hospital?

    • @Circ00mspice
      @Circ00mspice 2 года назад +22

      @@lilchristuten7568 Not as long as my time spent with the devil

    • @cgyoboi
      @cgyoboi Год назад +21

      We all know Centurii swings both ways.
      Just as god wanted
      Why do i feel the need to say the things i do.

    • @brunop.8745
      @brunop.8745 Год назад +11

      Especially since I don't even think men exist in their universe

  • @darkwolf988ify
    @darkwolf988ify 2 года назад +442

    Priest: I'm going to the orphanage to prey.
    Chris Hansen: Why don't take a seat? Right over there.

    • @Enchie
      @Enchie 2 года назад +30

      And here I thought the catholic monk pedo was a modern thing.

    • @____________838
      @____________838 2 года назад +30

      @@Enchie hah… sadly not.

    • @kitsumekat
      @kitsumekat 2 года назад +24

      @@Enchie Unfortunately, there's a reason why some churches have mass graves of children.

    • @Enchie
      @Enchie 2 года назад +12

      @@kitsumekat
      Isn't that because most children died early on before the late 19th century?

    • @kitsumekat
      @kitsumekat 2 года назад +9

      @@Enchie That and to hide the other things that happened.
      Plus, I would have to question some of the dirty illustrations in some of the older bibles.

  • @ninjathis3009
    @ninjathis3009 2 года назад +330

    Holy fuck
    A pirate saying arr-a arr-a
    That is GLORIOUS why have I never seen that before

    • @MouseGoat
      @MouseGoat Год назад +3

      lol, either you missed the point of the joke completely, or you have seen to few pirates in you life.
      ...Or both

    • @STONKS0897
      @STONKS0897 Год назад

      @@MouseGoat or neither

    • @iPuls3
      @iPuls3 2 месяца назад +1

      @@MouseGoat What? It's a combo, you make no sense.

    • @sergiomarc4826
      @sergiomarc4826 21 день назад

      ​@@MouseGoatplease, explain. no, i have never seen a pirate in all my 28 year old life... i'm not 300 years old or something, tho i have great expectation of biotechnology.

  • @LarutschsWorld
    @LarutschsWorld 2 года назад +218

    Heyooo Voice of the Landsknecht and Templar Girls here!! I'm so happy to see you're enjoying this!!
    Also GREAT work from all the other voice actors. So happy to be a part of this project ❣️❣️
    Happy Holidays to y'all. Treat yourself well 🌟🎄

    • @leokommadant938
      @leokommadant938 2 года назад +4

      Nice I really like your voice of Landsknect in other videos.
      Not sure why I'm satisfied with

    • @whiterabbit75
      @whiterabbit75 2 года назад +1

      Your accent for Landsknecht is always amazing. I am in love with these comics.

    • @eggisfun4217
      @eggisfun4217 Год назад

      Landsknechts are based
      and im glad there is a based voice for them here

  • @panzerkampfwagenviiimaus9571
    @panzerkampfwagenviiimaus9571 2 года назад +375

    As a straight sword fan, this is relatable.

    • @thahirshibu5042
      @thahirshibu5042 2 года назад +15

      I'm more of a katana or Idaho katana fan. machetes, greatswords, serrated daggers, and rapiers.

    • @fun_police8011
      @fun_police8011 2 года назад +21

      Straight, sword fan or straight-sword fan?
      This is very important information that we need to know

    • @panzerkampfwagenviiimaus9571
      @panzerkampfwagenviiimaus9571 2 года назад +37

      @@fun_police8011 both? Yeah, both is good, both is good.

    • @Tekdruid
      @Tekdruid 2 года назад +4

      *Kopesh master race*

    • @sophisticatedbear3374
      @sophisticatedbear3374 2 года назад +1

      @@Tekdruid the khopesh was adapted from the axe....and really was more of an axe.....twas a sword by slim technicality

  • @Irinananana
    @Irinananana 2 года назад +146

    "Arrr-a, arrr-a"
    - Pirate-Chan

    • @whiterabbit75
      @whiterabbit75 2 года назад +1

      I'd upvote your comment, but it's already achieved numerical perfection.

    • @demonelf2094
      @demonelf2094 2 года назад

      @@whiterabbit75 Well its gone now.

    • @whiterabbit75
      @whiterabbit75 2 года назад

      @@demonelf2094 [sigh] It would seem so. Guess I'll have to be the next sexiest number, 72.

  • @ChantillyVenus
    @ChantillyVenus 2 года назад +94

    "You wouldn't get it. You had to be there."
    Speak for yourself, I'm totally in on it. Shit's funny

  • @ollaniuspius1211
    @ollaniuspius1211 2 года назад +224

    Seriously, either the monks were the equivlant of modern day cartoonists (looking at you Ren and Stimpy), or they really were smoking some serious grass.

    • @registheron9752
      @registheron9752 2 года назад +18

      Both. Both is good. Also wtf didn't you get deleted by fucking Horus?

    • @ollaniuspius1211
      @ollaniuspius1211 2 года назад +16

      @@registheron9752 The sheer amount of Retconning done on my character has enabled me to become my own entity outside of the canon at this point.

    • @registheron9752
      @registheron9752 2 года назад +3

      @@ollaniuspius1211 this is fair.

    • @ryoxuxp8098
      @ryoxuxp8098 2 года назад

      I thought they drank too much beer

    • @FirstLast-wk3kc
      @FirstLast-wk3kc 2 года назад

      It's called being bored. Scribing in a very delicate way day by day, each mistake ruins a lot of work, and you are restricted in your behaviour a lot... They needed something to do to stay sane. That was one of such things.

  • @sigilofgremory9671
    @sigilofgremory9671 2 года назад +35

    "I'm going to the orphanage to PrAy"
    We need an adult.

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +13

      She is an adult.

    • @aiasfree
      @aiasfree 2 месяца назад +1

      She's going to that one nunnery full of ducks and little girls, it's probably fine!

  • @michaelscott6022
    @michaelscott6022 2 года назад +151

    Y'know, in this particular context, you might interpret having a double-edged sword as being able to "swing both ways." Just sayin'...

    • @ryoxuxp8098
      @ryoxuxp8098 2 года назад +1

      I swing a syphe .

    • @michaelscott6022
      @michaelscott6022 2 года назад +8

      @@ryoxuxp8098 There's also the term 'single-target sexuality', means you're attracted to specific individuals and/or characteristics, gender notwithstanding.

    • @TheAchilles26
      @TheAchilles26 2 года назад +13

      There's no "both ways" to swing in the Centurii verse, tho

  • @JimBeamFiend53
    @JimBeamFiend53 Год назад +14

    0:35 lady, you either take those quotation marks off the word pray, or stay the hell away from those kids!

  • @jhaybz29
    @jhaybz29 2 года назад +19

    "Arrra-arrra me matey~" words I never knew I'd hear in one sentence

  • @IsmailAli-uc2jm
    @IsmailAli-uc2jm 2 года назад +21

    Arrrra arrrra pirate is something i never knew I needed in my life

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 года назад +2

      Not the hero we wanted but one we needed

  • @snibetisnab211
    @snibetisnab211 2 года назад +57

    Templar gal be like "my sexuality is like my sword."
    so you can bend it at will once you get it hot enough ?

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +10

      I mean, if you want to ruin the heat treatment and render it useless...

    • @secondpath5148
      @secondpath5148 2 года назад +2

      @@nevisysbryd7450
      ---->The Joke
      Your Head

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +10

      @@secondpath5148 >my joke
      >Your head

    • @secondpath5148
      @secondpath5148 2 года назад +1

      @@nevisysbryd7450 ---------> My joke
      ->your head

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад

      You try bending a steel at will see what happens.

  • @bingusdingus3999
    @bingusdingus3999 2 года назад +8

    "Straight swords, straight women"
    Centurii comic
    *_Press X to doubt_*

  • @Brutalyte616
    @Brutalyte616 2 года назад +117

    You can tell a lot about someone based on the shape of the sword they're most comfortable with. For me, a thick blade with a gentle curve is preferable. Really feel the heft.

    • @____________838
      @____________838 2 года назад +26

      Makes you wonder about axe weilders…

    • @jatelitherius9842
      @jatelitherius9842 2 года назад +17

      @@____________838 & mace wielders... & spear users

    • @____________838
      @____________838 2 года назад +16

      @@jatelitherius9842 while I’ve seen a few curved bladed spears, like the naginata and nagamaki, the only curved “maces” I can think of would be something like Native American war clubs…

    • @jatelitherius9842
      @jatelitherius9842 2 года назад +6

      @@____________838 Brother, I'm talking about girth & length, not curvature

    • @____________838
      @____________838 2 года назад +6

      @@jatelitherius9842 lol. But this video is about curvature…

  • @howdycrusader355
    @howdycrusader355 2 года назад +9

    A priest going to a place full of children to "pray". That doesn't sound dangerous at all

  • @OoUNSTOPABL3oO
    @OoUNSTOPABL3oO 2 года назад +46

    Funny story, the snails actually serve a purpose.
    Allegedly the snails are meant to represent Lombards. In much the same way that some animals are associated with countries today, like France with a rooster and England with a bulldog.

    • @sephaen2934
      @sephaen2934 2 года назад +2

      Imagine being the culture that gets represented as a snail. Not exactly awe-inspiring.

    • @vorynrosethorn903
      @vorynrosethorn903 6 месяцев назад

      Normans with wolf's, English with lions, French with roosters.
      That said they were drawing them for centuries, a doubt the Lombard joke lasted that long. They are probably just something amusing to fill the margins with, blunts some of the tedium of scribing.

  • @DieuDeMort
    @DieuDeMort 2 года назад +7

    One cause for the snails in medieval drawings that I've heard is that often monks would also attend to the gardens in their monasteries, and were just fed up with snails fucking with their plants. So they drew knights fighting them, sorta like a form of revenge.
    Or maybe it was just a meme, we may never know.

  • @seawind930
    @seawind930 2 года назад +6

    Also remember that Snails eat paper, so having snails fighting knights and stuff was basically them putting a goodluck charm on their work.

  • @thearnorianruby4681
    @thearnorianruby4681 2 года назад +78

    As a Christian, the monk jokes was hilarious!

  • @anothertarnishedone5960
    @anothertarnishedone5960 Год назад +5

    Being straight in the centurii-verse is technical celibacy

  • @Mrkabrat
    @Mrkabrat 2 года назад +6

    Medieval book illustrations are quite enternaining to look at. Sometime there are even comments on the margins by monks such as "Thank God the sun is setting" or "The ink is watery and the parchment still hairy".

  • @BknMoonStudios
    @BknMoonStudios 2 года назад +14

    Landsknecht lady is back! Yaaaaay!
    I really love Laru's voice. ❤

    • @LarutschsWorld
      @LarutschsWorld 2 года назад

      Thank you so much AAAH!! I'm happy to hear that 🥰

  • @memes4life26
    @memes4life26 2 года назад +32

    I'm going to the orphanage to "pray"💀
    (Replace the A in pray with an E and it makes more sense...)

  • @DMingThoughts
    @DMingThoughts 2 года назад +13

    0:14 God-tier voice acting lmao

  • @Yuki_Ika7
    @Yuki_Ika7 2 года назад +7

    have you heard of those warriors from Hammerfell? they have curved swords! CURVED. SWORDS!

  • @Momo_Kawashima
    @Momo_Kawashima 2 года назад +3

    "Arrr-a arrr-a me matey"
    "Who the hell are ye? Why are ye wielding me saber? Give it back ya bloody thief"

  • @arandombeanboyo6609
    @arandombeanboyo6609 Год назад +6

    Imagine being in Rome and be captured as a pow, only for ur captors to say “ara ara.” At that point your ducked, literally

  • @jatelitherius9842
    @jatelitherius9842 2 года назад +5

    The plate thing fucking got me. Put a jupon on you heathens!

  • @Nestmind
    @Nestmind 2 года назад +7

    The pirate ara ara was ABSOLUTE PERFECTION
    I am DEAD

  • @tuukkai1841
    @tuukkai1841 2 года назад +3

    "Arrr-a arrr-a" is the best thing I have heard in a long time

  • @MLGHazrad
    @MLGHazrad 2 года назад +29

    Prior to the Renaissance Era, so long as the picture indicates people praying to God the Church approves. There could had been someone who made stick figures of people praying to God and the church approves it.

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад +1

      How would they indicate people praying to God through pictures when there is no image of God that can be depicted?

  • @attila535
    @attila535 2 года назад +6

    "You see those warriors from Hammerfell. They've got curved pen..er I mean swords, definately swords."

  • @hawkshot867
    @hawkshot867 2 года назад +2

    Welp this made my morning, I love Centurii's comics and you guys nailed it!

  • @alexercerthefirstandonly6900
    @alexercerthefirstandonly6900 2 года назад +3

    Honestly i love this comics, but i wanna take a moment to praise your dubbing skils, not all comic dubs get the energy perfectly usually its just about having the comic voice, but your dubs fit so perfectly that i get the feeling the comic wouldnt be the same without the voice acting, also some scenes feel so delightfully funny that i keep playing it over and over again and i laugh every time, like that first one with the monk that was just awsome and i think this desearves to be highlighted

  • @towkhan3861
    @towkhan3861 2 года назад +2

    "You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They got Curved Swords. *Curved Swords.* " - Whiterun Guard

  • @ninjaknight6715
    @ninjaknight6715 2 года назад +3

    You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.

  • @carlos.daniel.santmaria5477
    @carlos.daniel.santmaria5477 Год назад +1

    All jokes aside, the historical humor is pretty on point.
    And also the character desings are very good, along with the weapons and costumes

  • @zombcheese7313
    @zombcheese7313 2 года назад +9

    There's no such thing as to many snails

  • @gbaladik
    @gbaladik Год назад +2

    the nun who goes to the orphanage:
    Don't worry guys, she just spend some time on her knees.

  • @nadrewod999
    @nadrewod999 2 года назад +5

    The sword on the left at 1:05 is the only one depicted that can't have a scabbard that perfectly fits the blade, since everything else is either completely straight or has a single smooth curve.

  • @lev7053
    @lev7053 Год назад +1

    "I want to go home!"
    My sister in Christ, you ARE at home.

  • @notoriousp.o.g6773
    @notoriousp.o.g6773 2 года назад +3

    The monk hair covering her eyes just make the whole going to the orphanage to "pray" bit just makes it that much more in joyable / funny

  • @TheeOK1
    @TheeOK1 2 года назад +3

    My favorite example of the medieval snail meme is probably from the swordfighting manuals. Shits hilarious, it's right up there with "Ending them rightly" pommel attack.

  • @Vamilator7165
    @Vamilator7165 2 года назад +3

    The brilliance of having a pirate say "ara-ara" is not lost on me

  • @q-tip9962
    @q-tip9962 Год назад +2

    Well, to the crusader those ladies would probably say a sword will only stay straight until it's hot enough.

  • @theotherohlourdespadua1131
    @theotherohlourdespadua1131 2 года назад +10

    Really, we will never know why there are so many snails in those manuscripts. Even more baffling are illuminations of butt trumpeters...

    • @LedosKell
      @LedosKell 2 года назад +2

      Butt trumpeters I have to assume was 'talking out their ass' aka liars.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean Год назад

      Monks were known for drinking a lot of Ale during fasting periods when all they could have was bread and water... I'm sure that had an influence.

  • @toomuchdoggg1237
    @toomuchdoggg1237 2 года назад +3

    Solder: "be as straight as your blade" the one girl with a hook sickle : owo

  • @genghiskhan6809
    @genghiskhan6809 2 года назад +4

    That pirate girl killed me

  • @marcelosilveira2276
    @marcelosilveira2276 2 года назад +2

    0:40 don't forget the man-eating rabbits and fire-shitting donkeys, medieval memes were lit

    • @yuishishido8780
      @yuishishido8780 3 месяца назад +1

      Man eating rabbits you say?
      "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas...
      "And the Lord spake, saying, ''First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

  • @DefinitelyNotEmma
    @DefinitelyNotEmma 2 года назад +105

    Although I'm Bi, I have to agree with the Crusader, the straight sword is the better one. Just like God commands!

    • @anupambarua3407
      @anupambarua3407 2 года назад +31

      why are you bisected?

    • @landsknecht7125
      @landsknecht7125 2 года назад +12

      Ja the only reason some landsknecht used the swords with the wavy blades was for the pure fact that it caused more internal damage

    • @DefinitelyNotEmma
      @DefinitelyNotEmma 2 года назад +18

      @@anupambarua3407 I fell into the saw :/

    • @DefinitelyNotEmma
      @DefinitelyNotEmma 2 года назад +14

      @@landsknecht7125 I thought they were used to counter poles and helbards?

    • @landsknecht7125
      @landsknecht7125 2 года назад +2

      @@DefinitelyNotEmma they used zweihanders pikes halberds and muskets but there most notably weapon was the zweihander

  • @Tekdruid
    @Tekdruid 2 года назад +2

    Lost it at the pirate going _arrr-a arrr-a_

  • @potatokilr7789
    @potatokilr7789 2 года назад +4

    As a medieval enthusiast, I love the historical accuracy here

  • @jagermeister_1754
    @jagermeister_1754 2 года назад +2

    I love this art style. It's unique and different

  • @magikaros
    @magikaros 2 года назад +4

    I saw in a video that the wavy sword olis actually good because if an enemy strikes and you block with the wavy sword, it will make the opponents sword vibrate and make it uncomfortable to hold. So in response to that they will drop their sword and you just got an easy kill.

  • @x_zerzex7556
    @x_zerzex7556 2 года назад +2

    Finna ignore the woman who said she gonna PRAY at the orphanage

  • @winndypops
    @winndypops 2 года назад +8

    Good lord these are getting pumped out fast, love it.

  • @aggammer3485
    @aggammer3485 2 года назад +72

    How can one even be straight in the Centurii universe? Arent they all female?

    • @ladywaffle2210
      @ladywaffle2210 2 года назад +4

      Keep in mind that women weren't allowed into combat roles at the time displayed. Most likely, gender roles are simply swapped.

    • @PrimordialNyx
      @PrimordialNyx 2 года назад +20

      @@ladywaffle2210 we gotta see the males in Centurii's gender swapped universe. It's gonna be hilarious.

    • @nelzelpher7158
      @nelzelpher7158 2 года назад +13

      You can still be straight in the universe, you just won’t have a good time.

    • @nevisysbryd7450
      @nevisysbryd7450 2 года назад +20

      Males have been shown, although very rarely. For example, there is that one where Nero is grooming (in both senses) a boy to be his bride.
      Which is referencing something that actually happened, by the by.

    • @Fulcrox
      @Fulcrox 2 года назад +19

      She probably means straight in the righteous sense, since everyone on the Centurii-verse is gay as hell lmao

  • @mastertaconi6294
    @mastertaconi6294 2 года назад +3

    First brazillian commentary
    BORA BRASIIIIIIL!!! 🇧🇷

  • @jeyolikemayo
    @jeyolikemayo 2 года назад +1

    Oml that orphanage joke. Truer before as it is now.

  • @narwhallord4267
    @narwhallord4267 2 года назад +5

    Fun fact! A lot of pirates were gay, and had weddings on the ship just because. I'll have to look it up again, but I do remember seeing an article about it awhile ago.

    • @sophisticatedbear3374
      @sophisticatedbear3374 2 года назад

      Actually this was about sailors in general. However gay is a STRONG word as they would be considered bi-leaning straight. It was simply do to the fact that you would be months at sea with no women and well....you gotta relieve tension somehow. Allegedly tho untrue Churchill is cited as saying "Don't talk to me about naval tradition. Its nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash." (Sodomy being anal sex, usually between men) Churchill responded that he never said it but wish he had. Its a variation of a British sailor saying, “Ashore it’s wine, women and song; aboard it’s rum, bum and concertina.” meaning when a woman was around they preferred the woman....but if you got the itch and gotta scratch it. Similar to prison gay, in which women aren't available so...you gotta make do.

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад

      @@sophisticatedbear3374
      "You gotta relieve that tension somehow"
      Go for a freaking swim, I'm sure that "tension" would be relieved after doing all you can to not get eaten.

    • @sophisticatedbear3374
      @sophisticatedbear3374 2 года назад

      @@lilchristuten7568 not get eaten?

    • @sophisticatedbear3374
      @sophisticatedbear3374 2 года назад

      @@lilchristuten7568 you mean by a shark I presume?

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад

      @@sophisticatedbear3374
      Yes by a shark.

  • @Terminarch
    @Terminarch Год назад +1

    Dear Lord, lead me not into temptation.
    I can find it myself.

  • @courier.66
    @courier.66 2 года назад +3

    We get a yuri onee san gangbag, hell yeah, FUCK YEAH, BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT

  • @Chom-Chom
    @Chom-Chom 2 года назад +1

    Those ladies swing either way
    With their sword that is

  • @alricmalicorne321
    @alricmalicorne321 2 года назад +4

    See these greek warriors? They have curved swords. Curved. Swords.

  • @steelcommander9918
    @steelcommander9918 2 года назад +1

    I don’t like that they are going to the orphanage to “pray”

  • @axios4702
    @axios4702 2 года назад +5

    Look, I like straight swords too, but broadswors is where its at.

  • @vilevagrant4632
    @vilevagrant4632 2 года назад +1

    Yeah the orphanage scene made me go "OH NO!".

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 2 года назад +9

    You know, a good sword flexes a lot when you strike things; usually perpendicular to the direction of the cutting edge. If they didn't, they'd likely snap on impact.
    So uh... Maybe not the _best_ analogy for remaining "straight." =P (Not as bad as, "straight as an arrow," though; which if you don't get, watch a slow-mo video of a bow and arrow being used.)

    • @lilchristuten7568
      @lilchristuten7568 2 года назад +1

      Being able to flex doesn't mean it's not normally straight.

    • @firockfinion3326
      @firockfinion3326 2 года назад +1

      @@lilchristuten7568 Fair point, fair point.

  • @AndragonLea
    @AndragonLea 2 года назад +1

    That crusader about to get shown why curves matter in a three vs. one.

  • @kyrusdrax2664
    @kyrusdrax2664 2 года назад +5

    It's always good to be a little curved. Besides, spring steel curves while being straight, so win win here.

  • @DarkCT
    @DarkCT 2 года назад +1

    ....that Arr-a Arrr-a... seriously, and well done.

  • @ShyGuy2020
    @ShyGuy2020 2 года назад +3

    Sometimes, I wonder where all the dudes are and what they're doing in the Centurii universe...
    And then *"Ooh pretty women!"*

  • @LeftytheGansterGremlin
    @LeftytheGansterGremlin 2 года назад +1

    The voice acting is heavenly good.

  • @hexazalea1793
    @hexazalea1793 2 года назад +7

    So it seems based on her Flamberge our beloved Landscnekt goes both ways. That raises a few questions considering there are essentially no men in the Centuriiverse.

  • @Styxiaem
    @Styxiaem 2 года назад +1

    that first monastery girl has terrific voice acting

  • @wungusbill_
    @wungusbill_ 2 года назад +6

    "Ara Ara me matey"
    Is that senchou I see?

  • @6513ภัคพลประวงษ์

    Me seeing curved sword
    "Shit's about to go down"

  • @brentmatthewc.hipolito4358
    @brentmatthewc.hipolito4358 2 года назад +3

    I'm Christian and I had no idea Snails were a thing.
    I MUST REVIEW POTENTIAL ANCIENT MEMES FOR THE SAKE OF RELIGION.

    • @jorvach9874
      @jorvach9874 Год назад +2

      Studying memes in the name of God? DEUS VULT!
      Memeianity is the kind of religion I could get behind. :3

  • @cster9261
    @cster9261 2 года назад +1

    This is really cool that they’re teaching people history through Coomer memes

  • @MouseGoat
    @MouseGoat Год назад +3

    So what i learned form this video today is that there exist 2 types of sexuality's
    The Pasta kind, and the Iron kind.
    One bends simply when wet, other one will resist at first but will bend after getting heated enough and taking a hard pounding.
    I believe a other name for the last one is Tsundere.
    Alos lol at "double edge swords can swing both ways" dam comment tread was a gold mine of puns

  • @roshambo282
    @roshambo282 2 года назад +1

    Indeed, that monk is going to "pray" on something 😏

  • @JanusHoW
    @JanusHoW 2 года назад +3

    Has Centurii done a comic about THE most successful pirate in history - Ching Shih? Who was a woman? And a prostitute early in life? Because he totally should, because at least part of the plot is totally something out of a doujin.
    Ching Shih started out as a teenage prostitute, and eventually met Zheng Yi, a pirate who took a liking to her and brought her on board - some say he had his men kidnap her, others say he asked her to marry him. Ching said that she would marry Zheng only if she got 50% of the loot and gained partial control of his fleet. He ultimately agreed.
    Their fleet grew quickly, but the couple found that they were unable to produce an heir. So they ended up "adopting" a young fisherman from a coastal village named Cheung Po as their son, who quickly rose to became their second-in-command.
    Six years into Ching and Zheng's marriage, the latter died in a storm, leaving his wife in control of their still-growing fleet. Knowing that her crew would have trouble taking orders entirely from a woman, she pulled something straight out of a doujin...
    SHE MARRIED HER ADOPTED SON.
    Ching Shih was so successful that at her peak, she commanded (through Cheung) between 70,000 and 80,000 pirates - a force rivaling, if not exceeding, many national navies. Entire coastal villages worked for them, supplying them with food, goods and other provisions.
    Ultimately, the only force that could match Ching's were the Portuguese, and that was after they were defeated twice before bringing in their full might down on her.
    But Ching managed to escape the usual fate of defeated pirates by accepting amnesty from the Qing Emperor. She and most of her crew went free and even got to keep the loot they had pillaged, with only the most heinous members of her force getting imprisoned (and probably executed). Cheung ended up leading the Qing navy and other pirates got jobs in the Chinese bureaucracy. Ching herself retired to Macau after having several children with her adopted son/husband, and opened a gambling house and brothel (ironically bringing her life full circle).
    Ching Shih, the most successful pirate in history, died peacefully in her sleep...
    At age 69.

    • @jorvach9874
      @jorvach9874 Год назад +1

      haha funny number go arrr. nice.

    • @narvalen2024
      @narvalen2024 3 месяца назад

      Nah, the MC is not whit a woman or gay ..so is no relatable for the centurii-chan universe.

  • @Soulliquor
    @Soulliquor 2 года назад

    oh man. the moment the music came on i just knew it had to be beedle. hypelevels off the charts!

  • @aaronboy1246
    @aaronboy1246 2 года назад +3

    Poor monk

  • @ATSucks1
    @ATSucks1 2 года назад +1

    Going to the orphanage to "pray"..... RUN CHILDREN RUN!

    • @PrimordialNyx
      @PrimordialNyx 2 года назад +1

      That's only gonna fuel her thirst for "praying"

  • @hantubelaung
    @hantubelaung 2 года назад +4

    "I'm going to orphanage to pray."
    "SHIRE REEVE! OPEN UP!!"
    Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
    Shire reeve is basically police unit back in the medieval Britain, equivalent to possibly Sheriff nowadays.

  • @VortexBlasterDemonKing
    @VortexBlasterDemonKing 2 года назад +2

    Technically speaking, Snails do spread bacteria and sort but it’s like really fUcking easy to not touch them.

  • @ohitsrusher842
    @ohitsrusher842 Год назад +3

    What's she doing at that orphanage????????????

  • @harrybechtle4333
    @harrybechtle4333 Год назад +1

    “Im hpgoing ti the orphange to “pray”
    Hold up