My Grandpa has always been so sweet, but for the last 2 years living with him, his new aggressive attitude is prominent 24/7, and it’s been really frustrating for having to deal with him.. And although we’ve been giving him top notch hospitality, he’s been having accumulating episodes of him aggressively complaining to my mom, and since he’s been raising his voice at my mom, i’ve come to the point of disowning him in our relationship, even telling him that I hate him. He’s recently threatened to call “Elderly Abuse” on me, just because I don’t talk to him anymore and it’s getting real out of hand.. this vid has helped a lot, so thank you🙏🏽😹and i hope i can find the strength to keep up with him
Dealing with someone with Alzheimers is probably the hardest thing ive ever done. My 84 yr old Mother has this disease. Im her 57 yr old son. Ive left my job to stay with her and take care of her and its put me in a financial crunch. My credit is in the dumps, my personal life doesnt exist and it seems like every day something new comes up. Sometimes I truly feel IM loosing my mind. Sometimes I dont even want to get out of bed. It takes tremendous patience to not snap back sometimes but im sure we all cope how we can. I would have never believed this happened in life but it does and did. Whats really difficult is, my Mother has BCBS Medicare. The more I read, the more I realize "if she isnt on Medicaid, theres no chance of getting paid as a caretaker, like so many think." So, i cant work and leave her alone, she doesnt want ANY strangers coming in and Im getting deeper and deeper in debt. This is a very tough position to be in. We all need to hang in there. Ive been told theres a special place in Heaven for people like us.
@@bigmoneygrip6561 You're a great son, and I'd say just remember what she was to you before the disease, and especially remember what she's always wanted for you.. So don't forget to put care into yourself first as well🤍🙏🏽 much love bro
I am 30 my dad is 63 with alzehimer I just wake up he was shouting at me telling me to bring his money back! My heartbeat was rocket flying I gave him a glass of water and couple of oranges.he do have a social service helpers in the day.but during the weekend we stay with him.my mom hates him she humilate him when he watch girls in bikini on youtube and throw some insults on him. There is no relationship between them at all, he always calling me during the day not because he loves me but because i bring him all what he needs.no body in my family accomidate him like me.@@bigmoneygrip6561
My 90 yo father has AD. His aggression has gotten so bad, he won't even cooperate for a neurologist to do a thorough evaluation now. We need to move him to a more secure environment and cannot get him to cooperate or be less aggressive. We are afraid that if we manage to move him, he is going to be aggressive with staff and other residents.
Thank you for the advice. I have a client with Alzheimer’s and it’s really hard when she has ‘off days.’ But everyone needs to remember to always treat them with respect and empathy is the best approach. They do not understand what is happening so focusing on their good times is key
Thanks for this it was very helpful. My Father-in-law has dementia and COPD and Heart Failure. His dementia is not clearly diagnosis but he is on Hospice and his primary care doctor felt he could not handle the tests. This has helped me greatly because he has aggressive moments especially at night when he sundown's.
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and lives on her own. She has carers twice a day, 6 days a week and has no recollection of them. Mother has a care package under Adult Social Care Services which includes regular health and safety assessments. She has a cleaner, hairdresser and chiropodist weekly. Mother is deaf and refuses to wear hearing aids in her home. She will not consider wearing a safety pendant or bracelet because she says she does not need it. She refuses to use a walking stick on her one outing a week for shopping with my brother. Mother takes the stick reluctantly and uses it like a water diviner. She rings my sister constantly asking for a.car parked outside her bungalow to be removed. It is not her car. She rings asking for her boiler light to be turned off and writes endless shopping lists which are useless. We have only recently got her to wear incontinence underwear thanks to her carers. Mother causes us, her family, a great deal of concern over her relentless denial issues and we are the ones who become agitated and angered by her attitude. Mother only becomes angry when we tell her that due to her inability to maintain herself and her bungalow, she will be moving into a Care Home. Then we see a real change in her. Loud,verbally abusive, foul tempered and in total denial. For another day. Until the next time. S
during my Darling husband's sundowning, he was extremely agitated, combative and angry...he scared me...he always wants to fly for a business trip and when the staff won't let him out....he becomes fearless...what amazed me, I just tried to comfort him and walk with him as he yelled at everyone...then I asked him if we could pray...amazingly, he was willing to return to his room and we sat down and he started to pray....what a transformation...our Faith saved us that day...he apologized...a moment of kindness and clarity...I will always remember that moment of a beautiful man coming through...
It is so hard hard to get appts for things like eyes, ears, etc. If my mother refuses to go to audiologist, for instance, to get her aides fixed, it can take months to reschedule.
Excellent professional advice and thoughtful techniques. Your calmness and intelligent approach is refreshing. The world is a better place with this kind of mentality. Thank you for sharing this. 👍🇨🇦
Thanks the advice. What if someone is incontinent and flat out refuses to wear their pads? I can understand wanting a different shirt or not being hungry right now. But that’s a hygiene issue.
Good question! I wish I had an answer... I'm a caregiver and one of my clients used to strip and remove all clothing. Reminders to keep clothes on didn't work so I would have to physically put her pants back on (gently) and tell her that we can remove the pants at bedtime or when using the bathroom, etc. Also being considerate of side effects from meds (ex: maybe she is hot and trying to cool off?) Instead of referring to the pads as "pads"-- I would refer to them as just part of the underwear. Maybe say, "we're going to keep your underwear on for now (meaning pad) so that your pants stay clean. I know she is probably not concerned about cleanliness but it's worth a try. 🥺 I care for a woman now who is bed-bound and I refer to the diaper as her underwear. I never say diaper as I imagine it not feeling as dignified to her. I know it can be difficult and sometimes nothing works which can be extremely frustrating. I wish you well ❤️
I say, it’s my job. I need to keep you dry and clean. If that doesn’t work, I leave the room for a little while (1-2 hours) and try relocating him/her to a chair to work on the wet linens.
Would this also apply to episodes where they are agitated and thinking incorrectly? For instance, my mom would not get out of the car to go into the grocery store with my sister because she said she wouldn't support my sister "shop lifting". She said my sister stole things in the previous store. My sister has never shop lifted and we were both baffled. My mom was really angry and agitated.
It is emotionally difficult for me because, both my mother + aunt, who used to be great people, have developed these symptoms, and I have almost no logical communication with them anymore, and I’m afraid that my spouse will be hurt by this also. I don’t know what to do to make it better.
I get angry at my mom she fights me and I have been losing my temper with her. I am ashamed. The way she acts has been different me crazy. I hate myself
I'm sorry to hear that and I feel your frustration. I would recommend NEVER arguing!!! For your sake and your mother's.... No matter how bizarre the request, concern, etc... GO ALONG WITH IT. Say "oh, yes, I will fix that." I know this isn't easy but you will see the difference... Never try to reason or be the one who is right, the one who is going to "explain things" so that they make sense. They will not make sense to your mother and your efforts will be for nothing. She may argue if the sky is blue. Change your perspective to focus on feelings versus thought/logic and respond only to the emotions. Do not try to make sense out of nonsense... This takes great patience but I know you can do it. And please don't be ashamed! You're resilient and brave for talking on this responsibility and seeking proactive ways to ease the burden of this horrible disease. Take time for yourself to RELAX and don't feel bad distancing yourself when you need to. God bless
You’re not “feeding” her, you’re assisting her to enjoy her meal: just slow down, if she’s able, then let her hold the spoon with you helping her to move it towards her mouth. If you get a colleague to blindfold you and “feed” you in a hurry with food which may not be your preference , you’ll feel how your client might feel. If you’re stressed when you assist, she’ll feel it too. If someone has been impatient with her before, she’ll be frightened or upset every time it’s mealtimes. Slow and steady try friendly chatting and eating with them as that might help. Good luck!
Sorry if this sounds trivial but as you can see, like you, I have curly hair, and yours looks fantastic! Any tips? Where are you based? I want to go get my haircut wherever you go! :) Thanks.
The trigger for my lo is he wants the keys to the car (he is not allowed to drive on Drs advice) to buy alcohol Decanted zero beers always available in bottles that look like normal beer. Or he does not want to wear sunglasses he has glaucoma and has been advised to protect his eyes
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
My Grandpa has always been so sweet, but for the last 2 years living with him, his new aggressive attitude is prominent 24/7, and it’s been really frustrating for having to deal with him.. And although we’ve been giving him top notch hospitality, he’s been having accumulating episodes of him aggressively complaining to my mom, and since he’s been raising his voice at my mom, i’ve come to the point of disowning him in our relationship, even telling him that I hate him. He’s recently threatened to call “Elderly Abuse” on me, just because I don’t talk to him anymore and it’s getting real out of hand.. this vid has helped a lot, so thank you🙏🏽😹and i hope i can find the strength to keep up with him
Dealing with someone with Alzheimers is probably the hardest thing ive ever done. My 84 yr old Mother has this disease. Im her 57 yr old son. Ive left my job to stay with her and take care of her and its put me in a financial crunch. My credit is in the dumps, my personal life doesnt exist and it seems like every day something new comes up. Sometimes I truly feel IM loosing my mind. Sometimes I dont even want to get out of bed. It takes tremendous patience to not snap back sometimes but im sure we all cope how we can. I would have never believed this happened in life but it does and did. Whats really difficult is, my Mother has BCBS Medicare. The more I read, the more I realize "if she isnt on Medicaid, theres no chance of getting paid as a caretaker, like so many think." So, i cant work and leave her alone, she doesnt want ANY strangers coming in and Im getting deeper and deeper in debt. This is a very tough position to be in. We all need to hang in there. Ive been told theres a special place in Heaven for people like us.
@@bigmoneygrip6561 You're a great son, and I'd say just remember what she was to you before the disease, and especially remember what she's always wanted for you.. So don't forget to put care into yourself first as well🤍🙏🏽 much love bro
I am 30 my dad is 63 with alzehimer I just wake up he was shouting at me telling me to bring his money back! My heartbeat was rocket flying I gave him a glass of water and couple of oranges.he do have a social service helpers in the day.but during the weekend we stay with him.my mom hates him she humilate him when he watch girls in bikini on youtube and throw some insults on him. There is no relationship between them at all, he always calling me during the day not because he loves me but because i bring him all what he needs.no body in my family accomidate him like me.@@bigmoneygrip6561
My 90 yo father has AD. His aggression has gotten so bad, he won't even cooperate for a neurologist to do a thorough evaluation now. We need to move him to a more secure environment and cannot get him to cooperate or be less aggressive. We are afraid that if we manage to move him, he is going to be aggressive with staff and other residents.
Thank you for the advice. I have a client with Alzheimer’s and it’s really hard when she has ‘off days.’ But everyone needs to remember to always treat them with respect and empathy is the best approach. They do not understand what is happening so focusing on their good times is key
Wow. This is so hard. Thank u for your wisdom.
Thanks for this it was very helpful. My Father-in-law has dementia and COPD and Heart Failure. His dementia is not clearly diagnosis but he is on Hospice and his primary care doctor felt he could not handle the tests. This has helped me greatly because he has aggressive moments especially at night when he sundown's.
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and lives on her own. She has carers twice a day, 6 days a week and has no recollection of them. Mother has a care package under Adult Social Care Services which includes regular health and safety assessments. She has a cleaner, hairdresser and chiropodist weekly. Mother is deaf and refuses to wear hearing aids in her home. She will not consider wearing a safety pendant or bracelet because she says she does not need it. She refuses to use a walking stick on her one outing a week for shopping with my brother. Mother takes the stick reluctantly and uses it like a water diviner. She rings my sister constantly asking for a.car parked outside her bungalow to be removed. It is not her car. She rings asking for her boiler light to be turned off and writes endless shopping lists which are useless. We have only recently got her to wear incontinence underwear thanks to her carers. Mother causes us, her family, a great deal of concern over her relentless denial issues and we are the ones who become agitated and angered by her attitude. Mother only becomes angry when we tell her that due to her inability to maintain herself and her bungalow, she will be moving into a Care Home. Then we see a real change in her. Loud,verbally abusive, foul tempered and in total denial. For another day. Until the next time.
S
during my Darling husband's sundowning, he was extremely agitated, combative and angry...he scared me...he always wants to fly for a business trip and when the staff won't let him out....he becomes fearless...what amazed me, I just tried to comfort him and walk with him as he yelled at everyone...then I asked him if we could pray...amazingly, he was willing to return to his room and we sat down and he started to pray....what a transformation...our Faith saved us that day...he apologized...a moment of kindness and clarity...I will always remember that moment of a beautiful man coming through...
It is so hard hard to get appts for things like eyes, ears, etc. If my mother refuses to go to audiologist, for instance, to get her aides fixed, it can take months to reschedule.
Great advice and tips
Excellent professional advice and thoughtful techniques. Your calmness and intelligent approach is refreshing. The world is a better place with this kind of mentality. Thank you for sharing this. 👍🇨🇦
This video was very helpful and informative.
Thank you for tuning in and for your comment! Happy to hear that it was helpful information for you!
Adding my mite here - sometimes aggressive behaviour can suddenly occur when there is an infection. Usually a UTI.
Thank you for being helpful.
Happy to help!
Thank you for your reply.
Thanks the advice. What if someone is incontinent and flat out refuses to wear their pads?
I can understand wanting a different shirt or not being hungry right now.
But that’s a hygiene issue.
Good question! I wish I had an answer... I'm a caregiver and one of my clients used to strip and remove all clothing. Reminders to keep clothes on didn't work so I would have to physically put her pants back on (gently) and tell her that we can remove the pants at bedtime or when using the bathroom, etc. Also being considerate of side effects from meds (ex: maybe she is hot and trying to cool off?)
Instead of referring to the pads as "pads"-- I would refer to them as just part of the underwear. Maybe say, "we're going to keep your underwear on for now (meaning pad) so that your pants stay clean. I know she is probably not concerned about cleanliness but it's worth a try. 🥺
I care for a woman now who is bed-bound and I refer to the diaper as her underwear. I never say diaper as I imagine it not feeling as dignified to her. I know it can be difficult and sometimes nothing works which can be extremely frustrating. I wish you well ❤️
I say, it’s my job. I need to keep you dry and clean. If that doesn’t work, I leave the room for a little while (1-2 hours) and try relocating him/her to a chair to work on the wet linens.
Would this also apply to episodes where they are agitated and thinking incorrectly? For instance, my mom would not get out of the car to go into the grocery store with my sister because she said she wouldn't support my sister "shop lifting". She said my sister stole things in the previous store. My sister has never shop lifted and we were both baffled. My mom was really angry and agitated.
That was really good is there a part 2?
Now I understand some of the things my momma is going through. Be blest😘
Very helpful
thank you
It is emotionally difficult for me because, both my mother + aunt, who used to be great people, have developed these symptoms, and I have almost no logical communication with them anymore, and I’m afraid that my spouse will be hurt by this also. I don’t know what to do to make it better.
I get angry at my mom she fights me and I have been losing my temper with her. I am ashamed. The way she acts has been different me crazy. I hate myself
I'm sorry to hear that and I feel your frustration. I would recommend NEVER arguing!!! For your sake and your mother's.... No matter how bizarre the request, concern, etc... GO ALONG WITH IT. Say "oh, yes, I will fix that." I know this isn't easy but you will see the difference...
Never try to reason or be the one who is right, the one who is going to "explain things" so that they make sense. They will not make sense to your mother and your efforts will be for nothing. She may argue if the sky is blue. Change your perspective to focus on feelings versus thought/logic and respond only to the emotions. Do not try to make sense out of nonsense... This takes great patience but I know you can do it.
And please don't be ashamed! You're resilient and brave for talking on this responsibility and seeking proactive ways to ease the burden of this horrible disease. Take time for yourself to RELAX and don't feel bad distancing yourself when you need to. God bless
Same here…. It’s a difficult test, but we’ll get through it💪🏽
Doing a Replay
How can I deal with an Alzheimer's client who throws her food at me everytime I feed her?
You’re not “feeding” her, you’re assisting her to enjoy her meal: just slow down, if she’s able, then let her hold the spoon with you helping her to move it towards her mouth. If you get a colleague to blindfold you and “feed” you in a hurry with food which may not be your preference , you’ll feel how your client might feel. If you’re stressed when you assist, she’ll feel it too. If someone has been impatient with her before, she’ll be frightened or upset every time it’s mealtimes. Slow and steady try friendly chatting and eating with them as that might help. Good luck!
Wait what did I watch?
Sorry if this sounds trivial but as you can see, like you, I have curly hair, and yours looks fantastic! Any tips? Where are you based? I want to go get my haircut wherever you go! :) Thanks.
How to get my person to shower
The trigger for my lo is he wants the keys to the car (he is not allowed to drive on Drs advice) to buy alcohol Decanted zero beers always available in bottles that look like normal beer. Or he does not want to wear sunglasses he has glaucoma and has been advised to protect his eyes
Sounds like you figured out a good solution with the non-alcoholic beers. Thank you for listening and commenting! ❤️
Reminds us of angry Joe Biden.
DUH????
that's what I said
What's duh ? Please explain