Can you imagine - a boy playing a Nintendo 64 alone on the basement floor, where he used to play with his brother that killed himself. A room once filled with laughter and brotherly love, now filled with nothing but the sounds from the single player mode of their favorite video game. And the kid, maybe too young to quite understand that what he is feeling is loneliness. Fuck man. Life's hard. Seek help. Reach out to someone.. anyone. Let's stay alive for our brothers and sisters, family and friends. We'll all be dead soon enough. Love to you all.
As the depressed older brother, I'm scared to leave them alone like this Edit: I'm doing better, and I hope you guys are too 2: still good, Fellas, love yall 3: thank you for still being here
My dog just ran away And I am feeling pretty bad I've been sneaking out at night And my parents are real mad I’ve been taking lots of drugs 'Cause they teach me not to care Yeah, I guess that’s how you cheat Because life doesn’t play fair My brother told me That he's gonna kill himself tonight With a whole bottle of Prozac Or a shiny kitchen knife He said that when he is dead Ill have his Nintendo 64 And I can play it all night long Sitting on the basement floor My girlfriend told me that She doesn't love me anymore And I wish I didn't care but I thought she was really cool So I drank a ton of liquor Then I threw up in her sink She said next time use the toilet Then she offered me a drink
this song hits me on a personal level. I have an autistic brother who is about 6 years older than me, and at some point in his life (when he was about 16 and I was 10) he was incredibly depressed. He went to me to vent sometimes, and I would listen even though I didn't really understand. He has told me about wanting or attempting suicide multiple times, each time it made me cry more and more, which would make him stop considering it. Anyway, when he went to college (he was 19 I was 13) we could only facetime each other, but one night he got super drunk and implied he was thinking about killing himself. I cried so much that night, and felt so helpless since I thought I'd lose him for real. I'd wear his old clothes that he left me and sleep in them, they made me feel like he was safe and with me. Luckily, he didn't do anything and he's pretty happy these days, though every time we visit each other and he has to leave I begin to cry, having that same helpless feeling again knowing that if he ever got in trouble again I wouldn't be there.
i'm the one in my family that is suicidal and i also have autism. i just want to say if i had a sibling like you that cared about me as much as you care about your brother it would help me so much and as much as it hurts to see him that way just know you've helped him a lot
It's so sad that an autistic person's life expectancy is so low because of suicide, I have asd myself and can deeply understand your brother, it's very hard when society is against you
I love how alex g is getting popular i love seeing fresh comments on these old unreleased songs ive been listening for years and seeing more people appreciate it is always an amazing feeling
as someone who struggles with suicide a lot, this is one of my reasons why i havent just blown my brains out yet. i have a younger sister who i know loves me to saturn and back and ive always told her, when i die, you can get my nintendo. shes wanted it for so long, but we play it together so the thought of her playing it alone breaks my heart. sometimes when i go on long trips for college, my ma sends me videos of her sitting in my room reading my books, looking through my photo albums, or playing my nintendo. i love her more than anything.
for anyone curious, i survived an attempt back in november and im doing alright. im having a couple of issues with my legs due to the way i attempted, but things are going alright
Being a suicidal older sibling I will rather lock myself in the bathroom and be hysterical than have my younger ever relate to this song. Kids deserve better than carrying grownup problems.. Edit: People who are still finding this comment a year later. Shit actually does get better! I'm doing much better emotionally and physically and my younger sibling is doing great too. Just don't give up on life, it'll eventually pay off
i agree, i would not want my little sibling to have to deal with the feeling of me commiting. i would rather stay alive with a ton of emotions that no one likes than have my dear brother relate. i hope you are alright
This. My little sister is the first thing I think of whenever I consider ending it. I'll never let her know she's carrying the responsibility of a life, she looks up to me so much
dude my brother showed this song to me and he hes not in the best mental place, if he offs himself im playing this at his funeral. hes 15 and lives in my basement, i take prozac so its always somewhere in our house, he has a Nintendo switch he said hes gonna give me soon. I love my big Brother so much and this is my new favorite song
pls reach out for help man, it is out there, I hope you and your brother are alright and nothing bad ever happens. suicide and self harm are real serious shit and u should be really careful and attentive with your brother.
please dont take it so lightly, remove anything dangerous in the house and talk to him even if it’s uncomfortable. i bet he would really appreciate it having someone that understands him or takes the time to understand how he’s feeling
shivers down my spine listening to this. this song is exactly how I felt about a lot of people i hung around in high school. the line, the line that sticks me the most is "i drank a ton of liquor then i threw up in her sink. she said next time use the toilet then she offered me a drink" Everyone seemed like a bunch of nihlists, but were also just self absorbed and we did drugs to suppress the feelings we couldn't identify (or didn't want to identify)
I wanna add to this, I mean she had just expressed her lack of love for him and then solidified it by offering him a drink after intoxicating himself to the point of vomiting. Can you imagine the utter despair he must've felt by being handed that drink?
magicalwizard99 being a nihilist is recognizing these feelings and absorbing them to the upmost extent where you are drenched in them; And after, they just wash way cuz that’s what feelings are: a shower once in a while. The longer the shower, the longer you stay clean and happy.
This song reminds me when I was only 10, sitting alone in my room playing roblox. My brother was 13 at the time screaming at my mom at how much he wanted to grab a shot gun and “BL0W MY 🧠S OUT” because of her. I never thought I’d hear those words out of him so I ran out my room pulling him away from my mom and hugging him so tight as he tries to squirm out my arms in anger. I cried into his chest telling him how much I loved him that night. I got a lot out of him and one thing he told me was “If you ever lose me, my PS4 is yours..” he’s now a 18 y/o freshman in college successful in the sport he’s been in since he was 4. We’ve been through thick & thin together with our parents + life together. I genuinely love having a big brother in my life.
As a person who’s dealt with many suicidal friends, and just people in general, the, “My brother told me that he’s gonna kill himself tonight” line hits so hard. Escpecially since this is one of my favorite songs, I think about all the people I’ve failed to save. One in particular always comes to mind, and I miss him so much. I’m pretty sure he’s dead now, but I wish that there was something more I could’ve done. It hurts so bad knowing I failed him, and so many others.
no bro, it's not your fault. I believe that only a person himself can understand for himself whether he needs this life or not, and in the majority, not all support can help
i got into this song a bit ago, and didn't really listen to the lyrics at all. now i know how dumb i was for not doing that, as this song is fucking perfect
we had two n64s when i was young. a clear green one and a black one that didnt work. my sister had the controller that went with the green one, and i had a normal green one with the middle emblem missing. we used to play golden eye and smash brothers. i dont know when we grew so far apart. i wish we could go back to playing together on the dingy grey carpet, infront of an old staticy tv.
I love how it really sounds like he’s spilling his feelings out, at the beginning he’s quiet, and then he’s louder, and louder, it feels like he’s really getting something off his gut. It’s so real.
i’m the brother who’s always in hospital or going missing… the brother constantly causing stress in the family. this song hits too hard every word resonates
@@divineathsetic13 i recently got a girlfriend(we are soulmates) and even though i constantly feel depressed, unwanted, unloved, unworthy and like i dont belong on earth, i still somehow know that it is not completely true and that SHE does love me,and because of that I will never kill myself. No matter what, I will not die, that would hurt her. I never ever ever want to make her grieve.(She even told me she loves me so much that if I ever died she would probably not be strong enough to not kill herself, I would never pass so much pain onto her I love her so much)
This song punches hard because i had a suicidal older brother who ran away i haven't seen him in 6 years now. I do my best to make sure my younger sibling doesn't have to deal with me being suicidal
my brother and I have lived in the same house for our entire lives. he's 2 years older than me. we both have a history of mental illness and depression but he recently started messing with drugs since like 7 months ago. he was depressed before but his entire personality changed and he got kicked out like a week ago. and my parents immediately cleaned out his room completely. no posters, no bedsheets, no knickknacks, none of his games, etc. like I said we've lived in the same house our entire lives. it's pretty weird because we used to be toddlers rocking back in forth in cardboard boxes and pretending they were pirate ships in this room. and we used to be preteens talking about the first day of the next school year and watching movies in this room. we used to be teenagers playing scary video games until 5am in this room and now every trace of that is all gone and so is he. this song makes me feel a little better but also worse. it's funny too because he actually asked me to keep his Nintendo switch so mom and dad don't throw it out. sorry for the random story. I guess I just don't have anyone else to tell.
This is probably my second favorite Alex G song, second only to my overall favorite song, Treehouse. Nintendo 64 is such an emotional song, it sounds like there's genuine pain and confusion in not only the voice, but in the instruments and overall vibe of the song. As though when all these bad things happen, the listener is left alone and confused with nothing but their own thoughts and it's genuinely saddening. And when the second part of the lyrics starts playing you get this sense of anger throughout the rest of the song, like there's a resentment to the brother for killing himself that plays out to the girlfriend leaving. Misplaced anger and confusion are always the worst.
Unfortunately, I am the depressed big brother. Dealing with a lot of past trauma, abuse, and current. My step little brother keeps me going. He's the only one I plan to keep in contact with when I move out. Whenever things get too hard and I don't have him to hangout with me. I listen to this, and think how devastated he'd be if he lost me.
As a younger sibling of an older brother like this, we care about you so much, we know it’s hard to stay here, but please dont leave us. You matter a whole lot
I don't know if I should keep going or not. My brother and I used to play Nintendo 64 together. He turned 20 this year and I turned 13. Soon, in September he'll be leaving for his big trip and I won't see him. I don't see him enough either way and it hurts. This song cuts deep and brings out the memories of my old house where we'd play out in the yard and play on his Nintendo 64 for hours. I'm worried sick, for me, but also for him. He's going to do great big things and see the world, but what if he doesn't come home. I love him. And if he sees this, good luck, Isaac. Keep living, and do everything you want.
I was on the verge of tears and I was listening to this song in such a sad state. I don't know what came over me, or why my emotions changed so fast. But now I feel happy listening to this song. I guess I"m just appreciating how good it is.
I feel so bad for my brother. He probably relates to this song..he had a sister who was having one attempt after the other. Im okay now but whenever mental health rises up he always glances at me with a knowing look.
i remember when my brother tried to commit, i was younger and didn’t understand why we had to leave him at the hospital. they always told me he was fine but the day he got out he had the biggest smile on his face, crying even. i never had seen him smile in most of my years of living.
im sorry for venting, but this song just makes me want to cry every time i hear it…i relate to this song sm. my brotger always jokes about “doing it” and when he does sometimes i picture my life if he did and i almost cry. one time i asked him what he was going to do with his life since he turned 18, and i literally almost balled my eyes out when he said “i didnt think i would make it this far” im jst been so depressed with him knowing that he couldve talked to me….sometimes i can still hear his depressing music late at night.
i hate finding songs that remind me of my older sister, i always want them to be happy but i will always remember the calls i overheard of her telling my mother goodbye. she is alive and healthy now with amazing kids and fiancé but i can't over look how i almost lost her, the one who was always there for me, my motherly figure, my amazing older sister.
+Ravi Prakriya none of this is unreleased and technically isn't Alex G it's an old (full) band he was a part of. Search The Skin Cells there are download links scattered everywhere and they have a bunch of songs.
I’ve never commented on many of these videos and I never feel the need to but I guess tonight I feel the need to leave my comment somewhere or my story. I’ve been struggling with mental health for years now, I first got depression and issues at nine and it has still affected me. I’m still young, still a teen, I want to stay here but it gets difficult. I’ve struggled with ed, sh, and a lot more but I’m still here right now to say this. I appreciate Alex g and his music so much and every time I see these videos I click them so fast they’re always amazing. Even when I thought I was healing and suddenly got much worse, he still has music which helps! No matter how long I do live I know that there will always be a feeling of company with his music it’s like someone who was always there for me through highs and lows and will always continue to be there:3
This song makes me almost burst out in tears everytime, my brother is super suicidal but being autistic it’s hard to try and understand and help. I’ve almost lost him so many times because of his. Reasons but his friends helped him in a way I could never and I’m so thankful for them even if I have something against them personally
my dog just ran away and I am feeling pretty bad I've been sneaking out at night and my parents are real mad I've been taking lots of drugs because they teach me not to care yeah i guess thats how you cheat because life doesn't play fair my brother told that he's gonna kill himself tonight with a whole bottle of prozac or a shiny kitchen knife he said that when he's dead i'll have his nintendo 64 and i can play it all night long sitting on the basement floor my girlfriend told me she doesn't love me anymore and i wish i didn't care but i thought she was really cool so i drank a ton of liquor then i threw up in her sink she said next time use the toilet then she offered me a drink
I heard the demo version of this song once and it had different ending lyrics it went something along the lines of this bare with me I hear it once about 3 years ago but I thought I'd share what I remember of the last line that he ended up cutting. I've just got picked up by a girl to drive me to the store My nose started to bleed it got all over her seats so she kicked me to the curb I ended up walking home (something something something) More a less the last verse went something about how he got picked up for a ride to some place by a girl but he had a nose bleed that went everywhere and he ended up walking so like screw her.
When my sister as around 16 she said that once she offs herself I could have her room. I was too young to comprehend what she was saying but I was around 7. Im happy shes living a good life now and is in a better mental place with her kid and boyfriend
This song reminds me of my big sister that tried to attempt, im so glad she didn’t I seriously dont know what I would’ve done without her I love her so much
This song hits too hard. Back in the pandemic, when everyone had to do online school, my brother tried to kill himself. I knew he thought like that; found a suicide note he wrote a while ago for his therapist. I never said anything though. He went to a psych ward for about a year. A rough time for me I guess, I failed all my classes, even though I only went through all the motions of living. Nothing felt real I guess. Everyday was like another hazy episode on an old staticky box TV.
Being the youngest child and feeling like this sucks. You dont want your older siblings or parents to feel like they are at fault. In reality, they are the reason im still alive. ❤ Im trying so hard to stay alive 💕
I used to be suicidal and reading all theese comments, made me realize. That if i had gone through with it, i would've made my siblings suffer so much. Im glad i got better. I dont think i could ever forgive myself if i made them feel that way...
My brother was depressed for a realy long time and was verbally abused by my dad, and he was never suicidal “from what I knew” but he definitely had it worse than I ever did with my dad. I always hated my dad though, and when I was suicidal, I felt guilty because he had it worse.
this song does such a good job of conveying how lonely loving people can be. u can love ppl but if they don't love u or themselves u become essentially an accessory to them. u feel like nobody bc everyone else is so caught up in their own shit that u don't really feel like a part of them. in an effort find community and support the ppl u love u end up somehow disillusioned and lonelier than u were before.
my brother is a drug addict. i remember waking up and hearing my parents on his room checking for any bag of cocaine, and also watching him being so depressed that he would never get out of his room. he has a pregnant girlfriend now and lives with her in his own house. he is still a drug addict and i feel that this is probably what he would be thinking in those dark years.
My older brother almost ended it one night, luckily I was awake and immediately went over to him, I didn’t know what to do, all I wanted and all I’ve ever thought of that time..was to cry through it all. I knew I had to be strong for my older brother, cried with him and ended up comforting him once he finally calmed down. I love my brother very much, he’s the foundation of my inspirations and dreams, I don’t know what I’d do without him. I love you bro. You’re too cool to die. 🫀
I found my siblings listening to this when I came home from the psych ward. The amount of guilt I have felt putting my family through something this stupid, I took two handfuls of benadryl and was supposed to sleep and never wake up, I was rushed to the hospital and stayed for two days. I was put in a ward for a week, I came home to find my room was empty. And my mother and father were extremely angry, I missed what I had before. I regret what I did and I wish I was the cool older brother I once was. And to find out my two siblings were listening to this song will forever break my heart.
@@StilixXD I still sleep on the living room floor but I've been going back into my hobbies, I still think a bit negative towards myself but I know that someday I will get the help I deserve. I came to the conclusion that these things happen for a reason and only time can tell what happens to me.
When i listen to the lyrics it makes me think about how we all go through terrible things in life. Losing a part, family member, a lover. We go through all of it, but after all of it. There is something good coming from it. Maybe not good, but, it distracts us from what we go through. Such as using somethings to cope. Brothers Nintendo 64, a memory of him. Girlfriend doesn't love you, but she still may care, offering a drink. Life can be terrible, but it you can climb out of that grief. That's the sort of message I get out of this song.
This unlocked such a dark memory...😭 I remember it happening twice my oldest brother said he's going to k1ll himself and that he was so sorry for everything he did and he even said something abt how i would have the ps3 to myself he's okay now he was on drugs a lot back then
Oh, how bad it is to relate to this song. I'm 11, and i'm really fucked up physically and mentally; i remember times where i was 5 and my older sister kept implying that she was going to attempt. It didnt pass more than 2 years for me to hear the same thing from my mom; having to hold my mom from faints, having to calm her down when she was on the floor repeating it. Oh, times i had once forgotten that comes to haunt me every night.
The line "my brother told me hes gonna kill himself tonight woth a whole bottle if prozac and a shiny kitchen knife, he said when hes gone a I can have his Nintendo 64" hits so close to home, my older brother is suicidal and um scared if ges ever gonns commit
This is quite relatable to me, my brother recently came home from uni, he’s 21, he only got a week before having to come home bc well he tried to khs. he wanted to leave me and my other brother his PS4 and me his electric guitar becuase I’ve always wanted to learn, we’ve gotten him help but god was I scared when I heard
This song and I like many others has a personal impact on me. It's wonderful and captures so many different feelings so well in barley any words. I've never felt more seen than when I listen to Alex G. I love you all!
my bestfriend killed himself last year I still can't recover after this, his suicide note haunts me in my nightmares. when I first heard this song, I thought of him. it all happened when I wasn't online. he told me that I saved him and it's not my fault he is dead, that I was keeping him alive and this is his fault that he gave up, told me to stay strong and to find myself a good partner. this is what I remembered from the note. I still blame myself, it's my fault. I know it, if I was online I could've saved him. I didn't. I deleted every photo of him and us I had and blocked his socials. if I have to be honest, I kinda gave up too, but I survived it. life without him didn't and still doesn't seem real. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there. I hope nothing like this ever happens to anyone right now, stay strong guys
It's not your fault, it was his decision. You actually kept him alive for longer, he needed you and you provided support, you did what you need to. It isn't your fault. I'm so sorry. I'll pray for him and you.
i went through a stage in life where i was suicidal, i was pretty young…and dumb at the time. so i didn’t know exactly what i was getting myself into. i came out about ending myself that day, to someone. she told the teacher about me, my parents were called. and i know it was embarrassing and i was sobbing but at the end of the day…i was still alive. it’s been 4 years since then, i am currently better, have a therapist and some good friends.
Can you imagine - a boy playing a Nintendo 64 alone on the basement floor, where he used to play with his brother that killed himself. A room once filled with laughter and brotherly love, now filled with nothing but the sounds from the single player mode of their favorite video game. And the kid, maybe too young to quite understand that what he is feeling is loneliness. Fuck man. Life's hard. Seek help. Reach out to someone.. anyone. Let's stay alive for our brothers and sisters, family and friends. We'll all be dead soon enough. Love to you all.
period man
it’s really interesting to dig deep into alex’s childhood and things start to really make sense, his brother is actually a registered offender :(
@@lily-jh6ti rlly? thats sad
ow shut up man cmon
@@lily-jh6ti wait what? Can u explain more i has no idea?
This song captures being depressed as a teenager better than most things I've heard, it hurts and I'm happy I'm mostly over those feelings
Fr.
@DarkXwolf17___ If you're going through it I want you to know it can get better, and I'm rooting for you
It really does :(
@@shymecha If you're in that state now just keep pushing soldier, you'll get through it!
yeah..i hope it gets better for me too.
As the depressed older brother, I'm scared to leave them alone like this
Edit: I'm doing better, and I hope you guys are too
2: still good, Fellas, love yall
3: thank you for still being here
Same
haha dysfunctional older brothers unite. let's get through this, yeah?
I hope you guys are okay. Stay strong
Thank you :)@@otoke_ureko
Same :)
My dog just ran away
And I am feeling pretty bad
I've been sneaking out at night
And my parents are real mad
I’ve been taking lots of drugs
'Cause they teach me not to care
Yeah, I guess that’s how you cheat
Because life doesn’t play fair
My brother told me
That he's gonna kill himself tonight
With a whole bottle of Prozac
Or a shiny kitchen knife
He said that when he is dead
Ill have his Nintendo 64
And I can play it all night long
Sitting on the basement floor
My girlfriend told me that
She doesn't love me anymore
And I wish I didn't care but
I thought she was really cool
So I drank a ton of liquor
Then I threw up in her sink
She said next time use the toilet
Then she offered me a drink
alexander giannascoli can write a damn song, he wrote the shit out of this
@@Account-uf9uhwhos the original?
ppl that write lyrics in comments r angels
ong@@Fartface003
@@redmakesvideossAlex g..
this song hits me on a personal level. I have an autistic brother who is about 6 years older than me, and at some point in his life (when he was about 16 and I was 10) he was incredibly depressed. He went to me to vent sometimes, and I would listen even though I didn't really understand. He has told me about wanting or attempting suicide multiple times, each time it made me cry more and more, which would make him stop considering it. Anyway, when he went to college (he was 19 I was 13) we could only facetime each other, but one night he got super drunk and implied he was thinking about killing himself. I cried so much that night, and felt so helpless since I thought I'd lose him for real. I'd wear his old clothes that he left me and sleep in them, they made me feel like he was safe and with me. Luckily, he didn't do anything and he's pretty happy these days, though every time we visit each other and he has to leave I begin to cry, having that same helpless feeling again knowing that if he ever got in trouble again I wouldn't be there.
i'm the one in my family that is suicidal and i also have autism. i just want to say if i had a sibling like you that cared about me as much as you care about your brother it would help me so much and as much as it hurts to see him that way just know you've helped him a lot
It's so sad that an autistic person's life expectancy is so low because of suicide, I have asd myself and can deeply understand your brother, it's very hard when society is against you
@@loukyuI hope you’re doing ok
im here for you❤🩹
Made me cry :( im glad hes ok now
I love how alex g is getting popular i love seeing fresh comments on these old unreleased songs ive been listening for years and seeing more people appreciate it is always an amazing feeling
fr
yes fr
thanks for not being toxic to all the new listeners, recently discovered alex g and his music has been a serious comfort to me
@@northwindy reall..i love alex g
Fr my dudes
this song sorta saved my life, it made me realize what my brothers and friends would do without me and im glad im here
Ong
Same here
Same
Same
same
My favorite part of this song was 0:00 to 2:40. Really spectacular
Fr
Fr, This song is a masterpiece
I was like, well let me see what part they were referring to....
real
0 coems 😭😞
as someone who struggles with suicide a lot, this is one of my reasons why i havent just blown my brains out yet. i have a younger sister who i know loves me to saturn and back and ive always told her, when i die, you can get my nintendo. shes wanted it for so long, but we play it together so the thought of her playing it alone breaks my heart. sometimes when i go on long trips for college, my ma sends me videos of her sitting in my room reading my books, looking through my photo albums, or playing my nintendo. i love her more than anything.
You still okay? Dont die okay? Your sister loves you.
you’re her world. she wouldn’t know what to do without you. let that keep you going. please, for us who don’t have those people. let them fuel you
I really hope you get better. I have an older brother and I don't know what I would do without him
for anyone curious, i survived an attempt back in november and im doing alright. im having a couple of issues with my legs due to the way i attempted, but things are going alright
@@char_starsI’m glad things are alright 🤍
Being a suicidal older sibling I will rather lock myself in the bathroom and be hysterical than have my younger ever relate to this song. Kids deserve better than carrying grownup problems..
Edit: People who are still finding this comment a year later. Shit actually does get better! I'm doing much better emotionally and physically and my younger sibling is doing great too. Just don't give up on life, it'll eventually pay off
awh that's so sweet, glad you're not giving up, proud of u ml💞
i agree, i would not want my little sibling to have to deal with the feeling of me commiting. i would rather stay alive with a ton of emotions that no one likes than have my dear brother relate. i hope you are alright
exactly
i hate how much my little sister has seen me break, she doesn't deserve to have someone who is supposed to be strong and wise be so hurt
This. My little sister is the first thing I think of whenever I consider ending it. I'll never let her know she's carrying the responsibility of a life, she looks up to me so much
dude my brother showed this song to me and he hes not in the best mental place, if he offs himself im playing this at his funeral. hes 15 and lives in my basement, i take prozac so its always somewhere in our house, he has a Nintendo switch he said hes gonna give me soon. I love my big Brother so much and this is my new favorite song
Hope ur doing alr
pls reach out for help man, it is out there, I hope you and your brother are alright and nothing bad ever happens. suicide and self harm are real serious shit and u should be really careful and attentive with your brother.
I feel this
please dont take it so lightly, remove anything dangerous in the house and talk to him even if it’s uncomfortable. i bet he would really appreciate it having someone that understands him or takes the time to understand how he’s feeling
please talk to your brother
Seeing Alex g live on August 28th. Excited to sob violently to his other songs
lucky ass
DUDE I AM TOO!!!!!
Stop flexinggggg 😭
@@Sylvi3cat never😈
@@goldenmolelover thats so cool man!
shivers down my spine listening to this. this song is exactly how I felt about a lot of people i hung around in high school. the line, the line that sticks me the most is "i drank a ton of liquor then i threw up in her sink. she said next time use the toilet then she offered me a drink" Everyone seemed like a bunch of nihlists, but were also just self absorbed and we did drugs to suppress the feelings we couldn't identify (or didn't want to identify)
I don't think identifying them makes them any easier to deal with. We just mature and get better at dealing with everything.
I wanna add to this, I mean she had just expressed her lack of love for him and then solidified it by offering him a drink after intoxicating himself to the point of vomiting. Can you imagine the utter despair he must've felt by being handed that drink?
@Ted deadass
magicalwizard99 being a nihilist is recognizing these feelings and absorbing them to the upmost extent where you are drenched in them; And after, they just wash way cuz that’s what feelings are: a shower once in a while. The longer the shower, the longer you stay clean and happy.
pro trick : you can watch movies at Flixzone. Been using them for watching loads of movies during the lockdown.
This song reminds me when I was only 10, sitting alone in my room playing roblox. My brother was 13 at the time screaming at my mom at how much he wanted to grab a shot gun and “BL0W MY 🧠S OUT” because of her. I never thought I’d hear those words out of him so I ran out my room pulling him away from my mom and hugging him so tight as he tries to squirm out my arms in anger. I cried into his chest telling him how much I loved him that night. I got a lot out of him and one thing he told me was “If you ever lose me, my PS4 is yours..” he’s now a 18 y/o freshman in college successful in the sport he’s been in since he was 4. We’ve been through thick & thin together with our parents + life together. I genuinely love having a big brother in my life.
i love this comment
@@masa_g_ same
Thank you for giving me hope
As a person who’s dealt with many suicidal friends, and just people in general, the, “My brother told me that he’s gonna kill himself tonight” line hits so hard. Escpecially since this is one of my favorite songs, I think about all the people I’ve failed to save. One in particular always comes to mind, and I miss him so much. I’m pretty sure he’s dead now, but I wish that there was something more I could’ve done. It hurts so bad knowing I failed him, and so many others.
you didn’t fail anything. it wasn’t your fault and you tried your best.
it was never your fault
no bro, it's not your fault. I believe that only a person himself can understand for himself whether he needs this life or not, and in the majority, not all support can help
bro don't blame yourself it wasn't your fault
it wasnt your fault, you did all you could. its not your fault.
i got into this song a bit ago, and didn't really listen to the lyrics at all. now i know how dumb i was for not doing that, as this song is fucking perfect
Nice cate wurtz avi
thanks. she's the best
Still?
I don’t remember all of this
@@Crazykitty976hey brite boy
we had two n64s when i was young. a clear green one and a black one that didnt work. my sister had the controller that went with the green one, and i had a normal green one with the middle emblem missing. we used to play golden eye and smash brothers. i dont know when we grew so far apart. i wish we could go back to playing together on the dingy grey carpet, infront of an old staticy tv.
I love how it really sounds like he’s spilling his feelings out, at the beginning he’s quiet, and then he’s louder, and louder, it feels like he’s really getting something off his gut. It’s so real.
his voice just doesnt age
real omg
i’m the brother who’s always in hospital or going missing… the brother constantly causing stress in the family. this song hits too hard every word resonates
my mom sold my nintendo 64 and i cant stop thinkin about my smash bro days
the days of worrying about nothing, now i worry about everything
+koykah I read this comment in crying shia lebouf's voice
+Phil Fox do it
+Phil Fox lol
Shit koykah changed his avatar and now this comment doesn't make sense.
Phil Fox
That was unexpected
I'm starting to feel like the brother
same
Don't do it please:(
@@divineathsetic13 i recently got a girlfriend(we are soulmates) and even though i constantly feel depressed, unwanted, unloved, unworthy and like i dont belong on earth, i still somehow know that it is not completely true and that SHE does love me,and because of that I will never kill myself. No matter what, I will not die, that would hurt her. I never ever ever want to make her grieve.(She even told me she loves me so much that if I ever died she would probably not be strong enough to not kill herself, I would never pass so much pain onto her I love her so much)
holy fuck this song makes me feel like every emotion i have ever felt ever
same, such a gut wrenching feeling
8 years ago- no way
type shit
This song punches hard because i had a suicidal older brother who ran away i haven't seen him in 6 years now. I do my best to make sure my younger sibling doesn't have to deal with me being suicidal
I just want to give Alex g a hug that he needs
after not being able to cry for years, this song really saved my soul.
hope you're feeling better
I love Alex g because of how accurately his songs depict human experiences. This song might be his best.
Been listening to this song for months straight. It's sad edgy but the singing and instrumentation is beautiful!
seems like Daniel Johnson left a mark
Not a bad thing
:( I miss him...
aw man this made me sad
I see Alex G as more of an Elliott Smith, the Smashing Pumpkins and Pavement had a trinity baby.
@@desgner_droz8716 I love pavement
That picture is stunningly beautiful yet also terrifying
+Sòphìe N Ur getting it.
what a meanie
well put! also nice seeing you here man :')
a e s t h e t i c
wonderful song however i dont think the picture was meant to be stunningly beautiful just some sketchy pic
my brother and I have lived in the same house for our entire lives. he's 2 years older than me. we both have a history of mental illness and depression but he recently started messing with drugs since like 7 months ago. he was depressed before but his entire personality changed and he got kicked out like a week ago. and my parents immediately cleaned out his room completely. no posters, no bedsheets, no knickknacks, none of his games, etc. like I said we've lived in the same house our entire lives. it's pretty weird because we used to be toddlers rocking back in forth in cardboard boxes and pretending they were pirate ships in this room. and we used to be preteens talking about the first day of the next school year and watching movies in this room. we used to be teenagers playing scary video games until 5am in this room and now every trace of that is all gone and so is he. this song makes me feel a little better but also worse.
it's funny too because he actually asked me to keep his Nintendo switch so mom and dad don't throw it out. sorry for the random story. I guess I just don't have anyone else to tell.
i find this really cool but also really depressing so i hope youre okay
This is probably my second favorite Alex G song, second only to my overall favorite song, Treehouse. Nintendo 64 is such an emotional song, it sounds like there's genuine pain and confusion in not only the voice, but in the instruments and overall vibe of the song. As though when all these bad things happen, the listener is left alone and confused with nothing but their own thoughts and it's genuinely saddening. And when the second part of the lyrics starts playing you get this sense of anger throughout the rest of the song, like there's a resentment to the brother for killing himself that plays out to the girlfriend leaving. Misplaced anger and confusion are always the worst.
Sunny
@@kandgray snuuy
@@Lykenfolsnuuy
@@quesadilllassnuuy
I cried to this song last year bc i was goin thru it and all i listened to was Alex G haha kinda funny now to think about.
mimi123b actually just heard this song for the 1st time and almost started crying. I went through a lot today lol
I hope you feel better, life is had sometimes.
love you both, hope you okay. 2 years later. people still care.
I feel that
one listen to this song and suddenly i'm eight years old again sitting on the stairs while my sister's crying suddenly goes silent in the basement.
im so sorry :(
0:53 this part is scaring me, idk why… but I can’t help but listen to this song on repeat
fr
I enjoy listening to this and ''Needle in the Hay'' and cry.
aang fuck outta here
Clementine is a bigger tearjerker
They’re both about drug abuse and have a similar strumming pattern. I can’t cry anymore unless I really fuck things up.
Remember
Something about this song that is so special is the way the guitar sounds like a person crying
i can not not cry while listening to alex g
this song is so soul crushing and comforting at the same time
Unfortunately, I am the depressed big brother. Dealing with a lot of past trauma, abuse, and current. My step little brother keeps me going. He's the only one I plan to keep in contact with when I move out. Whenever things get too hard and I don't have him to hangout with me. I listen to this, and think how devastated he'd be if he lost me.
we gotta keep going for them if no one else
As a younger sibling of an older brother like this, we care about you so much, we know it’s hard to stay here, but please dont leave us. You matter a whole lot
@@teddy_bear6122 thank you man, I really needed that, especially today ngl.
I cannot explain how much I love this song holy
I don't know if I should keep going or not. My brother and I used to play Nintendo 64 together. He turned 20 this year and I turned 13. Soon, in September he'll be leaving for his big trip and I won't see him. I don't see him enough either way and it hurts. This song cuts deep and brings out the memories of my old house where we'd play out in the yard and play on his Nintendo 64 for hours. I'm worried sick, for me, but also for him. He's going to do great big things and see the world, but what if he doesn't come home. I love him. And if he sees this, good luck, Isaac. Keep living, and do everything you want.
Today, my brother gave me hive Nintendo 64 and all the games he had. I'm a bit worried
UPDATE PLEASE?
@@moonlight-tn4zg he's not dead. He's with friends until Monday tho today. I'm just waiting for him to get back
@@fuynnu update??
I was on the verge of tears and I was listening to this song in such a sad state. I don't know what came over me, or why my emotions changed so fast. But now I feel happy listening to this song. I guess I"m just appreciating how good it is.
I feel so bad for my brother. He probably relates to this song..he had a sister who was having one attempt after the other. Im okay now but whenever mental health rises up he always glances at me with a knowing look.
i remember when my brother tried to commit, i was younger and didn’t understand why we had to leave him at the hospital. they always told me he was fine but the day he got out he had the biggest smile on his face, crying even. i never had seen him smile in most of my years of living.
I wish there were more live vids of this song😭
more? i've heard that he's never performed it live.
@@saksvgm7919 ruclips.net/video/CljOkGEuBdE/видео.html
@@lasquish552 yo this is so dope!!!
This song is such an unexplainable feeling and it hits sm. alex g music gets me so sensitive but i love it sm.
im sorry for venting, but this song just makes me want to cry every time i hear it…i relate to this song sm. my brotger always jokes about “doing it” and when he does sometimes i picture my life if he did and i almost cry. one time i asked him what he was going to do with his life since he turned 18, and i literally almost balled my eyes out when he said “i didnt think i would make it this far” im jst been so depressed with him knowing that he couldve talked to me….sometimes i can still hear his depressing music late at night.
This is like the only song that legit makes me cry
Mcr pfp spotted!!!
@@b0om1ez Yuhhh🙏
“He told me when he dies I could have his Nintendo 64 and play it on the basement floor” that shit hit.
i hate finding songs that remind me of my older sister, i always want them to be happy but i will always remember the calls i overheard of her telling my mother goodbye. she is alive and healthy now with amazing kids and fiancé but i can't over look how i almost lost her, the one who was always there for me, my motherly figure, my amazing older sister.
The fact that you can hear Alex’s voice cracking slightly is just so sad but so dedicated it just shows how much emotion he put in this song
yo this is literally unbelievable please please share some more stuff
maybe someday ;)
john Klein post moar jon
john Klein
the internet needs it!! all the unreleased stuff i've heard by Alex G is just as good as the album stuff i've heard!
john Klein Pretty please? Is it someday yet?
+Ravi Prakriya none of this is unreleased and technically isn't Alex G it's an old (full) band he was a part of. Search The Skin Cells there are download links scattered everywhere and they have a bunch of songs.
I’ve never commented on many of these videos and I never feel the need to but I guess tonight I feel the need to leave my comment somewhere or my story. I’ve been struggling with mental health for years now, I first got depression and issues at nine and it has still affected me. I’m still young, still a teen, I want to stay here but it gets difficult. I’ve struggled with ed, sh, and a lot more but I’m still here right now to say this. I appreciate Alex g and his music so much and every time I see these videos I click them so fast they’re always amazing. Even when I thought I was healing and suddenly got much worse, he still has music which helps! No matter how long I do live I know that there will always be a feeling of company with his music it’s like someone who was always there for me through highs and lows and will always continue to be there:3
This song makes me almost burst out in tears everytime, my brother is super suicidal but being autistic it’s hard to try and understand and help. I’ve almost lost him so many times because of his. Reasons but his friends helped him in a way I could never and I’m so thankful for them even if I have something against them personally
my dog just ran away and I am feeling pretty bad
I've been sneaking out at night and my parents are real mad
I've been taking lots of drugs because they teach me not to care
yeah i guess thats how you cheat because life doesn't play fair
my brother told that he's gonna kill himself tonight
with a whole bottle of prozac or a shiny kitchen knife
he said that when he's dead i'll have his nintendo 64
and i can play it all night long sitting on the basement floor
my girlfriend told me she doesn't love me anymore
and i wish i didn't care but i thought she was really cool
so i drank a ton of liquor then i threw up in her sink
she said next time use the toilet then she offered me a drink
I heard the demo version of this song once and it had different ending lyrics it went something along the lines of this bare with me I hear it once about 3 years ago but I thought I'd share what I remember of the last line that he ended up cutting.
I've just got picked up by a girl to drive me to the store
My nose started to bleed it got all over her seats so she kicked me to the curb
I ended up walking home (something something something)
More a less the last verse went something about how he got picked up for a ride to some place by a girl but he had a nose bleed that went everywhere and he ended up walking so like screw her.
F00LSG0LD215 ruclips.net/video/Dcgx0dTAFso/видео.html
andygibeats gud
.
@@videogremlin laughing at how off he was but also dope that he DID remember some hahaha
thank you alex g for existing
When my sister as around 16 she said that once she offs herself I could have her room. I was too young to comprehend what she was saying but I was around 7. Im happy shes living a good life now and is in a better mental place with her kid and boyfriend
Listening to this song at night while overthinking life just hits different
I've been thinking about taking my life. I've tried. And I'm always stopped by the thought that I need to be here for my brother.
This song reminds me of my big sister that tried to attempt, im so glad she didn’t I seriously dont know what I would’ve done without her I love her so much
This song hits too hard. Back in the pandemic, when everyone had to do online school, my brother tried to kill himself. I knew he thought like that; found a suicide note he wrote a while ago for his therapist. I never said anything though. He went to a psych ward for about a year. A rough time for me I guess, I failed all my classes, even though I only went through all the motions of living. Nothing felt real I guess. Everyday was like another hazy episode on an old staticky box TV.
Being the youngest child and feeling like this sucks. You dont want your older siblings or parents to feel like they are at fault. In reality, they are the reason im still alive. ❤ Im trying so hard to stay alive 💕
I used to be suicidal and reading all theese comments, made me realize. That if i had gone through with it, i would've made my siblings suffer so much. Im glad i got better. I dont think i could ever forgive myself if i made them feel that way...
I like this song so much I keep listening to it everyday because it’s a distraction from how I am currently.
and suddenly i know what my siblings feel like when they see me like this
sold my childhood n64 to pay for my dope habit :(
Same here. Then I got sober and bought another one.
same here too. i felt pretty bad about it.
Really, all of you?
me too man. ugh and the xbox gotta get the cure
dope for an n-64 is a solid deal.
This just hits different. Whenever I feel like giving up on life I listen to this song b4 I do it. It’s js I keep chickening out😹
this is the best song I've ever heard
10 years and it's still one of the best songs I have ever heard
My brother was depressed for a realy long time and was verbally abused by my dad, and he was never suicidal “from what I knew” but he definitely had it worse than I ever did with my dad. I always hated my dad though, and when I was suicidal, I felt guilty because he had it worse.
this song does such a good job of conveying how lonely loving people can be. u can love ppl but if they don't love u or themselves u become essentially an accessory to them. u feel like nobody bc everyone else is so caught up in their own shit that u don't really feel like a part of them. in an effort find community and support the ppl u love u end up somehow disillusioned and lonelier than u were before.
this is my favourite alex g song
i think he didnt put this out because its really sad
Jack Kraus
Yeah also it’s crap!
I like it
@@AB-te1nv the most defensive and true comment. i like it!!
@@dirtholetribune3313 you probably liked your own comment lol
my brother is a drug addict. i remember waking up and hearing my parents on his room checking for any bag of cocaine, and also watching him being so depressed that he would never get out of his room. he has a pregnant girlfriend now and lives with her in his own house. he is still a drug addict and i feel that this is probably what he would be thinking in those dark years.
My older brother almost ended it one night, luckily I was awake and immediately went over to him, I didn’t know what to do, all I wanted and all I’ve ever thought of that time..was to cry through it all. I knew I had to be strong for my older brother, cried with him and ended up comforting him once he finally calmed down. I love my brother very much, he’s the foundation of my inspirations and dreams, I don’t know what I’d do without him. I love you bro. You’re too cool to die. 🫀
I found my siblings listening to this when I came home from the psych ward. The amount of guilt I have felt putting my family through something this stupid, I took two handfuls of benadryl and was supposed to sleep and never wake up, I was rushed to the hospital and stayed for two days. I was put in a ward for a week, I came home to find my room was empty. And my mother and father were extremely angry, I missed what I had before. I regret what I did and I wish I was the cool older brother I once was. And to find out my two siblings were listening to this song will forever break my heart.
U doing good now?
@@StilixXD I still sleep on the living room floor but I've been going back into my hobbies, I still think a bit negative towards myself but I know that someday I will get the help I deserve. I came to the conclusion that these things happen for a reason and only time can tell what happens to me.
@@ObeseBrownKid hey man nice to hear it’ll be okay. Time will be with you. The gold is on the other side just wait
Even after 11 years this song is a banger 🙏
what an emotional music wow thats bring back my childhood
When i listen to the lyrics it makes me think about how we all go through terrible things in life. Losing a part, family member, a lover. We go through all of it, but after all of it. There is something good coming from it. Maybe not good, but, it distracts us from what we go through. Such as using somethings to cope. Brothers Nintendo 64, a memory of him. Girlfriend doesn't love you, but she still may care, offering a drink. Life can be terrible, but it you can climb out of that grief. That's the sort of message I get out of this song.
This unlocked such a dark memory...😭
I remember it happening twice my oldest brother said he's going to k1ll himself and that he was so sorry for everything he did and he even said something abt how i would have the ps3 to myself he's okay now he was on drugs a lot back then
“My brother told me that he gonna khs tonight” hit me so hard
10 yrs ago it's still a good song to hear
10 years and still coming back 🫡
I will give to my lil brother my nintendo tonight.
@@cactuswallopers493 he meant hes gonna commit suicide dude
Bro u good?
@@mossharness9220 a bit late
Hope you’re good homie
I hope you're okay now. I love you, it's all gonna be okay.
Unsettling and nice :) going in the mirror and pushing yourself in a head pop forward as you hear the tunes and look yourself in the eyes
This song literally guts me from the inside
As the younger sibling of a suffering sibling this hits hard.
Oh, how bad it is to relate to this song. I'm 11, and i'm really fucked up physically and mentally; i remember times where i was 5 and my older sister kept implying that she was going to attempt. It didnt pass more than 2 years for me to hear the same thing from my mom; having to hold my mom from faints, having to calm her down when she was on the floor repeating it. Oh, times i had once forgotten that comes to haunt me every night.
ok kinda glad this is unreleased bcz this song wouldve broke me from the inside out if it was released officially in spotify
The line "my brother told me hes gonna kill himself tonight woth a whole bottle if prozac and a shiny kitchen knife, he said when hes gone a I can have his Nintendo 64" hits so close to home, my older brother is suicidal and um scared if ges ever gonns commit
I need this to be released so badddd
This is quite relatable to me, my brother recently came home from uni, he’s 21, he only got a week before having to come home bc well he tried to khs. he wanted to leave me and my other brother his PS4 and me his electric guitar becuase I’ve always wanted to learn, we’ve gotten him help but god was I scared when I heard
this is amazing, please upload more stuff
real
This song and I like many others has a personal impact on me. It's wonderful and captures so many different feelings so well in barley any words. I've never felt more seen than when I listen to Alex G. I love you all!
on repeat in my head
my bestfriend killed himself last year
I still can't recover after this, his suicide note haunts me in my nightmares.
when I first heard this song, I thought of him.
it all happened when I wasn't online. he told me that I saved him and it's not my fault he is dead, that I was keeping him alive and this is his fault that he gave up, told me to stay strong and to find myself a good partner.
this is what I remembered from the note.
I still blame myself, it's my fault. I know it, if I was online I could've saved him. I didn't. I deleted every photo of him and us I had and blocked his socials.
if I have to be honest, I kinda gave up too, but I survived it. life without him didn't and still doesn't seem real. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there.
I hope nothing like this ever happens to anyone right now, stay strong guys
It's not your fault, it was his decision. You actually kept him alive for longer, he needed you and you provided support, you did what you need to. It isn't your fault. I'm so sorry. I'll pray for him and you.
@@Basilsdadthank you so much
i hope youre better now !!
@@Maxzes_its been a while, i still cant forgive myself .. yet its been a bit better
Love the song, and love jason nash in the thumbnail
This song matching my situation in life so well. Everything about this song, I can relate to.. i love this song so much
i went through a stage in life where i was suicidal, i was pretty young…and dumb at the time. so i didn’t know exactly what i was getting myself into. i came out about ending myself that day, to someone. she told the teacher about me, my parents were called. and i know it was embarrassing and i was sobbing but at the end of the day…i was still alive. it’s been 4 years since then, i am currently better, have a therapist and some good friends.