What I noticed is that EVERY SINGLE victim I have seen who’ve suffered narcissistic abuse, is BEAUTIFUL!! Like really... we are amazing inside and out. Full of LOVE, understanding and forgiveness.
Destroyer of joy, bottomless pits of emptiness, anger and pathological envy...we generate our own energy because we are authentic - they cannot generate their own energy -suckers of life.. 😞
They will follow , send others,or contact people near the new residence. However any reason to move is a good one. Hometown pride is for lames,dumb sports fans,and people who live in fear. Think of every person you know that talks about "this is where I'm from,This is where I belong" then consider how often,where,and how far away they vacation. Then consider their i.q. Also if the always frequent the same area for vacation and take part in the same activities and eating habits as while at home. Routine is thr death of life and comfort of narcissist. At least with most animal species it is just nature
Yes they will. I'm experiencing this and trying to figure out where to go to start over with no income. I finally figured out why everything has always ended in sabotage.
Never share your dreams, plans, luck, achievements, happiness or anything good that happened to you with a narcissist. You will lose it. I've learned this lesson.
They sabotage you, call you at work, require you to take holidays to care for them, overload you when you have an important school/work deadline, and tell you your work/field is duMb and do/study something else. Been a regular on welfare, where they don't treat you kind either. Learned after the last time, I need to start Living Away from the Narcissist.
Wow! I said this not long ago to my adult son and to beware! Do not leave out envy and jealousy. The narc is very envious and jealous of you! They are in competition with you! It is true, they are in misery and want you to be in misery as well! Because they are in darkness, they hate those in the Light and will destroy you if you allow them! Well said Petra. Glad you are back with another wise video! Shalom!
This is so true. And these people are EVERYWHERE! I've noticed that the more light you have in you, the more strange, bizarre treatment you will get from others based on their lack of light. The less light they have, the more they will treat you like you are "invisible" to them or fail to acknowledge your presence or other forms of invalidation. I get this type of treatment by going into stores such as Home Depot, Walmart, etc, from many of the employees. Yet they are just as nice as pie to my husband. But when I ask them something they don't respond, as if they literally don't hear or see me!!! Or they will talk to someone else while I'm in mid sentence, even if they spoke to me first! It's just completely bizarre the way people treat me in public. I didn't have this problem near as bad before I "woke up" to narc abuse. I truly believe it's the spirit of the antichrist taking over people.
Omg.....these people are so toxic...!!!! They try to get rid of your family and friends one by one ...and if you are dating someone that will be their prime target...they must be so jealous. Its actually really creepy. Thanks Petra...have a great week from New Zealand.
Some are very overt, but my experience was with someone who was extremely sneaky and covert and worked behind the scenes to hurt my reputation with cleverly placed lies.
Thanks Petra, yup...i agree with everything, they want us to be nothing, whatever we are, they want to take away..they wont improve themselfs, be a better person, so they make us lower then them...my saying is...” rather then climb the ladder..they lower the floor” They will never improve themslfs, unless its a bigger brighter mask, thanks hun sending big hugs 😊💕💪
I guess that is their mission. Maybe they operate at different levels and techniques, but the result/aime is always the same: destroy and push into chaos. It's like they all have the same master: the devil himself.
@@reesedaniel5835 yes you're right devil has his one children n his children are probably numerous..n as this woman said don't trust the devilish children just like you don't trust him bcz they will withdrew or betray you in the very last minute..they are so frightened of word "betrayal"_that they subconsciously will do that to you so they can avoid any disappointment cuz they can't handle such emotions..
"Guilt, shame, and obligation..." It took me so long to realize and understand that people would purposely choose to behave this way. But they do, with no empathy. And when you call them on their own responsibility and set boundaries, they tear you to pieces. What I'd like to understand, is how to notice NPD's early on, so as to not get intertwined with them in the first place.
I believe we have to work on setting boundaries and standards early. If we do that. They will more then likely grow tired quickly, and leave you alone.
HG Tudor explains this really well about empaths showing narcissistic traits for a time being, but never being capable of turning into a narcissist. It's almost like the empath must use those traits to survive and escape the narcissist is what I understood.
You just gave me a profound insight of my mother how you worded it. From the analytical point of an adult I am now, I can see all her actions were directed at destroying me, my self, my passion, goals and sense of safety. Thank you.
Yes. They want to strip you of everything that makes you happy and unique, and they want to control and destroy any chance you have at success. And they get pleasure from doing so, because to them they're "winning". Truly sick.
Thank you for this video. I have a narc mother and a dad that orbited around her. Many times people that are very close to me tell me I need to work on the relationship and no matter how hard I try to explain the abuse and how it affected me they do not believe or understand my experience. I chose to have limited contact because that is how I healed.
All those people see is your mother's fake mask. And all they want to hear are her lies. Best to just get away from the willfully ignorant. They are worse than the narc's in my opinion because they are the reason the narc's can continue their abuse.
Reese Daniel I agree. She is a completely different person around other people. It would make me sick because I knew another side of her that they never saw.
I understand how you are feeling. I blocked my "mom" 29/9-18 forever & I have never felt so free in my whole life. Stay strong and take care. Big hug from Sweden
Yes, you are so right. I had to distance myself from a coworker who tried this on me. She tried her best to "befriend" me, sucked up to me, and tried to mirror everything I did in order to gain my trust in her. Fortunately, I was able to figure it out pretty quickly, and got away from her. Of course, she tried everything she could to hoover me back, but eventually gave up and quit her job when her tactics failed.
In the last 48 hours I was hovered, gaslighted, and ghosted in a reappearance of this individual who nearly destroyed me. My fault for allowing the barest, brief visit after 9 months no contact. I actually Thought after that meeting it might be possible to hear from him every few months or annually. Then he started pulling my strings. Thanks to people like you,Petra, I at least have language for this and a common understanding with other targets of the truest gruesome emotions that accompany this phenomenon. My fault that I broke no contact . I told him never to contact me again and blocked his method of communication. This came to me at the same time all That was happening. I prayed for Mother Wisdom to guide the whole process and there you were. 💕🤗🌸
1 Freebird Its been over 1 year no contact for me and i will never let him near me again, if i seen him in street i would totally ignore him. Because i know if i spoke to him he would try to charm me so he could abuse me again! Nope that not going to happen. Stay strong.
Yes they have free will just like we do. And that's why God will cast them out on Judgment Day. They know where they are going but they don't care, they enjoy inflicting pain on normal human beings far too much at the present moment.
They are deeply terrible but truly think think are highly great. It’s the most draining infuriating situation to be in. Their unpredictable manipulative psychological warfare will wipe you out eventually ... unless you get completely out.
unfortunately, my own mother is a narcissist. Oh did I suffer! I did not even know that she was a narcissist until recently when I finally decided to do some deep research on what the problem could be with her. My abuse began when I was 13 years old, and it never ended until I was 35 when I finally decided to leave and go no contact with her. Everything you said describes my mother to the T and even more. Her jealousy runs so deep that I started wondering if she would try to send someone to hurt me, and I am not trying to be funny. She envies my ways, my looks, and even my little accomplishments. The last straw is that she has successfully turned my little sister against me whom she knew I love dearly. She had hurt me so badly when she abandoned me for 8 years then started spreading lies about me to everyone she knew I loved or who loved me. This women when on a campaign to destroy me. Everyone had turned against me because of her. What's worst is that I am an empath, her complete opposite, so imagine how I was feeling inside. She came back into my life, apologizes, and I forgave. In less than a year she turned around and started doing the same thing, and you know what people believe her, but this time after the constant abuse and her lies, I got furious and left because her behavior was too much to handle. It was at this point that someone told me that she has the traits of a narcissist. It felt like a burden lifted off my shoulders just knowing the source of her problem after years of abuse, confusion, and pain. I see that this woman was out to completely destroy me and I pride myself and getting away before she had done more damage to me. You are right you will heal from the abuse, but there still remains some deep remnants of pain that will probably stay with you that only time and absolutely no contact with the narcissist will heal. I don't even want to allow no one that she knows or interact with around me. These people are truly toxic and dangerous.
I recently learned that my mother is a malignant narcissist as well. And I'm 52. :( I always suspected something was wrong with her. I think that's why I moved away as soon as I graduated from high school, and never went back. But... it came to a head when my dad got sick in 2022. My parents had been hoovering me back for about ten years or so -- I realize it now, looking back at it. They didn't care about me as soon as I graduated from high school (even before that really), but were calling me more around 2017. I realize now, my mother wanted me to replace her Grade A supply from my dad, as he was declining. She got him working until 2020 (he was 79 years old) when the lockdown forced him to close his business. Then I realize now.... she started plotting to separate me from my husband and my kids. :( She did so many bad financial things to me. Depleted my husband and my savings. :( Trying to make me financially dependent on her. Turning all her relatives against me. Towards the end, she was causing bruises on her arms, and smiling at me. As if she were going to call APS on me if I didn't do what she told me to do. I left. I didn't even go back for my dad's death. I know she turned all my relatives against me, but I understand now, they are all just like her too. She had already alienated all my dad's relatives all my life, telling my dad that they were trying to steal his money. It was untrue. I realize that now. SHE was the one who was stealing money. :( I found tax records from 2006 and 2018 that proved it. But she depleted all my funds, I didn't even have anything left to fight her in court. But, I know that I'm better off anyway, just leaving her to her own relatives. :( Evil only begets evil. The only solution is to GET AWAY. They are scary. She fooled me for 52 years. But, she cannot fool God. I'm so lucky I married a man who had normal parents. My mother-in-law is my role model for parenting now. I feel blessed that God helped me get away from my scary family of origin. I will never go back to her. Matthew 19:29-30
I used to wonder why every time I was really happy, it would be followed by an emotion akin to "uh oh, what is coming now to bash this happiness?". Now I understand where that came from. They start their conditioning very young. Thank you so much for this illuminating vid. :)
I've been struggling with this type of abuse for 5 yrs. I think these ppl also have a form of OCD in their personalities because of the tenacious way they target the victims, constantly and covert, years after you have severed ties. It is true they see something good in you and resent it, and work almost on a full time basis to sabotage everything blessing that comes you. They are some really sick and sad individuals the extent that they go through to sabotage someone else's life and to rob you of you peace of mind. Thank you so much for sharing.
Great video. You just said something that made me think of the movie Gremlins........they can't stand bright light. Step into the light and they can't come near you.
Hi Petra, thanks for this wonderful video. I love your accent--it sounds so sophisticated. After going NC with my narcissistic family 5 years ago, I never thought I'd heal to the point where I could finally say to myself, "I love my life." It's been quite a journey--but I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm happy.
so very true. This happened to my brother, myself twice, and my step father at his teaching job in another state....all originating from the same narcissist n-dad. Stepmonster called my college and tried to have my major changed. lol.
So called born again Christian ex-friend phoned my Muslim friend's place of work repeatedly to accuse him of theft when he had sold her an HP demo laser printer which she had wanted but changed her mind about because it wasn't from a "Christian" source. I am leery of all born again Christians to this day. If someone has to tell you, "By the way, I'm a born again Christian" you are very likely dealing with a narcissist who wants to control you by triangulating with her "God" against you.
This Video is so true. Everytime I was happy having fun here came my Covert Narc husband yelling at me. He was very angry raging at me asking me what the h&ll are you doing?!! Like he cared- nope. Now I’m being stalked by him yes stalked -he was hoovering me for many months like crazy & sending things in the mail to me-calling me all the time. Him stalking me is something i didn’t expect. They lie about everything. I’ve taken on the anger at times he has and yelled got angry. I’ve told myself I don’t want to be bitter & miserable like him then go punch a pillow to get it out or talk with my therapist & Sister.
I kept saying over and over to the Lord that I felt like I was going to lose a piece of myself each and every day. I know he was hoping that I would say something mean to my 13 year old son out of frustration with him during an argument.
I just went no contact with my Narc father. I had to also do the same with me enabler mother, who will try to justify and guilt trip into accepting the narc father behavior. I totally agree with separation to heal. It like knowing a well is poisoned but continued to drink from it. I know the well is poisoned and I am going to drink and heal from other sources.
They always have excuses for their abominable actions. I was confused, I didn't`t know, I made a mistake, I was unaware. You are the one with the problem, he says.. He tells me and forces me in a way to be the loving and adorable person I was at the beginning. I CANT . How can I after all the blockages and silences and triangulations and all the rest? I can't. I cried more than I laughed with him . But he wants me to cancel the past.... I can't. I've been having panic attacks lately. He says I'm imagining things. That he is always here for me...That he was always here for me. BS. Right - the person who harmed you cannot heal you.
Thank you for clarifying this: I began to think, " Is it me? Am I the Narcissist?" and then my friend said no, probably not if you're worrying that you may be?
Thank you so much for this video. Yes, the survivor of abuse does not need to be held responsible for "patching things up" with the abuser. In cases of abuse, it does not take "two to tango" and it is upsetting and infuriating to hear so-called "friends" try to get us to turn the other cheek. A real friend would say, "Run! Run from him/her, and you have my support."
this explains a lot about a narc I knew. while working for his father I found out that he actually sabotaged a deal I could have made, and he also did some other shady things. Any money I could have made for the company was ultimately going to be his. Because he was going to inherit everything. But he couldn't bear the idea that I would be the one who created the success, because then that would lead to good things for me.
Petra, I cannot believe how much I suffered and I thought it was ME. Everything you've shared in EVERY video I've watched, is parallel with my experience! It just blows my mind - the accuracy is shocking. Sadly, we have a child together so he's inescapable but I am recovering and adjusted my own behavior. I adore my son and in this I find happiness. Thank you Petra for your courage to share. I feel normal again. I'm NOT crazy.
I had a friend that said to me when i was with him that he was Sabotage me? I never understood what she meant? I do now 2 years narc free still healing but i feel better away from him never want to hear or see him again!! Great video!!😊
Growing up with a narc parent, I had severe anxiety and panic attack issues. It was so bad it that I was too afraid to ever leave the house as nearly everything would trigger a panic attack. Noe I'm in a much better place than I was before, have since moved out of that toxic home full of chaos and gained independence. Still healing and working through the heart break that comes with being raised by a narc parent. Some days it's difficult but I know I'm on the right path by having separated from that toxic energy and allow myself to heal. Living with a narcissist is dangerous to both your physical and mental health. The best thing we can do is seperate ourselves from it and allow ourselves to heal.
Thank you, I did just that....... self sabotage. I can tell I am making little tiny baby steps in my healing and I don’t think I’m doing it fast enough.
Same here. I spent years thinking I was rebelling against these people when I was in fact doing exactly what they wanted so that by the time I woke up and tried to expose them, I was already deemed "unstable" and "the trouble maker" or "crazy" etc., and was not believed or validated. Just shunned and isolated even further. Fun stuff isn't it? It's like we are born into a trap and the more we wiggle, the more trapped we become.
Healing takes courage dear Mildred. Every day of healing is a strengthening of your courage muscle. Healing is not a race to a final destination. It's developing an intimate, spiritual, fun, flirty and secure friendship with yourself. I call it dating and then ultimately committing to yourself ;-) A huge hug for you.
December 31, 2018 ... it was our turn to entertain the family. Dinner, drinks etc... a year in advance I had prepared the menu and looking forward to it. The 30th he became sick... shivering in bed so I had to cancel 12 people. The next day I called the doctor. I brought tea and toast to be which he didn’t want, saying it was not good. An hour later he was downstairs, dressed and fit to ‘ note how many children came singing at the door on the 31st’. I did go shopping and made a nice dinner ... turkey etc... which he didn’t like.. so yes, it was all sabotaging me.
I listened to you last night before I went to sleep woke up you channel was gone and I searched all day to find your channel again now I'm here yayyyyyy!
Very good thank you. Have had this happen to me a lot. I think strengthening myself spiritually, and my faith was key to survive, and to be able to stop being dragged into other relationships with other narcissistic people. Also fostering a close and loving relationship with myself has proved invaluable, and continues to reap huge rewards because you are then less vulnerable in general, or needy. Blessings Petra...
You said you can't heal in the place you were traumatized is 100% on my narcissist lives next door and I haven't healed but she seems to sabotage any friendships we make that don't include her
Or... Just don't deal with them, because they will always sabotage your life! But i miss her so much You know... Well i know it will start all over again and over again and i, well i can't and won't take narcissists behaviour anymore.
What's rather disconcerting is that all of society is becoming narcissistic. I noticed this Saturday while at Home Depot in my area. The employees treated me like I was "invisible" and "mute". I researched this phenomena and it's happening to people everywhere. They are being "blanked out" in public places as though they are invisible, or are "unworthy" of being noticed or heard. It's very bizarre what is happening. I think these people are all pawns for a demonic hierarchy controlling them like puppets against those with light in them.
I’m so glad you said this because that’s exactly what I’m fighting within myself every single day... I do miss the exNarc I loved him deeply but I don’t miss the abusive behaviors , this is important for me to keep reminding myself during his Hoovers... nothing will change the abuse with resume and much worse. I keep telling myself that going back is not an option because there’s nothing to go back to but hell...staying no contact and continuing to focus on my healing is how I save my own life and demonstrate self Love.
This is one of the best explanations and analysis I have seen on YT -- and I have watched so many of these types of vids (100's). So much content and spot on observation succinctly put in a crystal clear way. Bravo! This describes my covert narc father to a "T". From the sabotaging of our happiness since birth, minimizing our accomplishments, to the surprise attacks and distractions, to sabotaging my work, relationships, hobbies and talents, to the narcs perpetual envy, guilt trips, shame/shaming, projection, etc. Awesome job. Thank you for making and posting this.
Those of us who are victims of this ongoing horror never understood that we were under attack. It's like we are pawns in some kind of spiritual/psychological Chess Game but only the opponents seem to know about the game and make the rules as they go and we are made to believe that all people are just like us, all one species of "human." So when we were told we were "doing wrong," we believed it. When we were told we were "bad", we believed it. When we were punished for being "bad" (aka truthful), we accepted it because we believed we deserved it and we internalized the intense shame that went with it (their shame dumped onto us). How much we loved our parent as a child and how we never once suspected our parent was in reality our enemy. As an adult, there is a internal humiliation you inflict on yourself the day you wake up and realize how your parent(s) duped you. What a sucker you were, and how if you try to talk to other family members about it now they just assume you are making excuses for current failures in your life. And let's not forget how the (more) toxic parent manipulates the other parent into being the dispenser of punishment or insults causing the victim to run to the enemy as the "protector." I'm so grateful for this channel and others who are addressing a portion of society that has no voice because we are dismissed as adults who are blaming our confusion or failure on past events that were not documented accurately. The record shows... we were "bad." Our reputations, we were bad. Our denial or attempt to show or explain in an accurate frame, said "crimes" just make us look worse and more "crazy" to onlookers. They have been completely duped by the narc, hook, line and sinker. Their minds are 100% controlled and they don't even know it. It's a No Win scenario for the victims of this ongoing horror.
Very well put, Reese. Everything you say here. That is my experience as well. Both my parents were sick... and yeah, especially the part about running to the enemy, the "head-honcho covert narc", after betrayal by the other... only to be betrayed on an even bigger scale. When I think how "magnanimous" that ass was acting... Only later, after learning about cluster-b's, I realized he (covert NF) set the whole damn scam up... it just burns me up... smh.
My Narcissistic father always says that the people in our surroundings are ''the Narcissists''. He always knows so much about Narcissim, but when people like me are pointed out that he's a Narcissist himself, he totally denies it. It's so laughable the hypocrisy.
narcissist brings negativity to you and then complaint that you are negative... you cannot accomplishment positive by accepting negative in life... stop accepting narcissist's negativity.
I am the family scapegoat. My dad and mom are narcs. I have a great husband who is there for me but it isn't 100% comforting bc he doesn't know exactly how it feels or how much damage has been done. I moved over 1000 miles away to escape from my mom and her flying monkeys aka my siblings and their kids and my mom's family. I mean cousins aunts They all think i'm dog shit bc of my mom. So I escaped that. However my Dad lives here and he is awful to me. It is torturous. I love my dad very much. he is hilarious and kind to people. Except his kids and grandkids and my husband. those closest to him seem to be of different use to him. I finally told him after all these years that he is a narcissist. I didn't mean to but he feeds off of being mean. So I blurted it out and he called me crazy. And that he had no idea what i was talking about. I told him that was called gaslighting. He is nice when I put up walls. He is fake nice when I put up walls. I only recently came to terms that he is never going to change. he is never going to be there for me. he is never going to be happy for me when something good happens in my life. He will always give me the silent treatment or not even smile when I tell him something that I want him to be proud of me for. When I tell him something I want him to feel sorry for me for I will receive no pity or mercy from him.
"Break that chain of energy, let your authenticity shine again"♡ This talk is one of a few great guides that help my journey to find the " real me" I always knew was there somewhere. God bless you and your work !
And the best on top of that was, when my narcissistic friend said, after he blaimed or made me feel guilty, it is only my problem and fault. He didn't even recognise what he said and that *he* himself caused that disturbance on purpose (to disguise his own misery - that's what I understand today). It is so....ewww....
I was procrastinating as a student I was actually going to drop all of my classes because of my toxic narc friend. I was feeling really drained and I was doubtful of myself no more! I missed me and I'm starting to love myself again once I broke all ties with this emotional vampire
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤. When trying to regain myself and get strong. That feeling of strength made me question that. But years later of hard work I realized that uncomfortable feeling of regaining strength that stinky thought is all part of their conditioning which he still uses 16 years later when I have to actually see him in child support hearings. It's a long road, keep on keeping on the healthy road. Peace and love, someday the world will follow. Treat everyone with love and respect always. Peace out.❤
I find this whole subject to be fascinating. I'm reminded of a childhood friend who was working out with me in preparation for a baseball game. I was experimenting with throwing the ball as hard as I could. At the start of the next game I asked if I could get an inning a pitching. Right before I took the mound this friend told me that the pitches I was throwing to him the other day were really bad and that I should not try to do that on the mound. The result was that I had a terrible inning. what I wonder is, when I was throwing the ball really hard during our workout, was he afraid of the potential success I could have or maybe was having just by throwing the ball that way? What was he feeling, and could he even recognize it?
Thanks for being the only vid about them sabataging us. But no one is talking about the sabatagw like cutting holes in your clothes, hiding one shoe, putting a well placed stain, adding something to your shampoo and lotion that dries you out, filing down your keys, making a mess anywhere you spend lots of time cleaning, taking your car apart 3 bolts per day, making sure a charger cord NEVER works, even somehow making ALL of your pens burst in your apron every night when you're a waitress. Burning things on the bottom of the stove. Messing with screws and hinges so your doors change how the close. Or how they remain open. Daily putting new dings and scratches in your floor and nice furniture. Opening caps on stuff and leaving it sideways to run out. Everywhere. Everytime. Even when you're so vigilant and watchful!
All this STUFF I am hearing about how humans are in these last dayz that the Bible mentions in 2Timothy is causing me to be fearful of people . Theses wolves in sheep's clothing is downright fearful & depressing . The envy & jealousy that is real is a warning not to brush this reality under the carpet . It is a wonder that anyone is successful or that anyone can meet someone and fall in love and get married . The biggest thing I remember is that females have taught me that they are evil and should not be trusted . The sad thing is that I did not start out this way.
Gosh this is good and very healing . I am in the process of leaving a very long and painful relationship. I don’t see any positive change in this person in fact the tricks are getting more frequent and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to lose control. I’m.sure this will not take long as attorneyx are quickly getting involved and I am doing everything in my power to expose the people involved in abusing my child to keep control of me and this is going to get very real very fast for him and his “flying monkeys”. You were made to do this .. thank you
Dear Petra, Thank you for this video. I value your wisdom, you have a very deep understanding of the abusive narcissist. So many jewels in this video. Nearly 3 years away and 3 years of healing taking place here.
Thank you for your warm words Gina. 3 years...wow what a milestone! Healing is a process dear Gina, be aware and grateful for how far you've come. Love to you x
You speak the truth!!! Yes! all the way 😘 New bathroom exactly how you all like it? Good for You all! Enjoy 🚿🚿🚿😁 I Like very much the color of your tshirt, just Great, looks good on you👍 Thank You for this Video Petra. There behaviour is just so terrible it takes your breath away. They want to put you down in every way. Well that's how it is. You can't change them, so change Yourself how to deal with them. Thanks 💙💙💙 M 😘
My dad always said there are sayings for reasons..misery loves company, hurt people hurt people, water seeks it's own level, if it to good to be true so be aware of love bombing..
Hi Petra! You are such an inspiration, a guide, a wonderful coach!!! I listened to this video OVER and over again. Today, I picked up the message of procrastination and self sabotage. Guess what?! I decided to DO the task I needed to do since my dear Petra told me so...lol! I am so glad I took your advice because the task is long tedious and I am still in the process of accomplishing it. But I thought, I needed a break to THANK YOU SO MUCH! For me to START the task and I am glad! More love, power and blessing to you! I appreciate you and you are an angel!
This is so eye-opening I could never understand why someone who is so much younger and so much prettier than I am would be jealous of me and went to sabotage my life
This was fantastic!! Very enlightening and confirmed many thoughts I've had about a few past romantic relationships and a current platonic relationship with someone who's supposed to be a friend. Thank you for this!
It's like you have alarms or something that go off for stuff I'm doing and you label it for me...self sabotage! I've been thinking that I'm 52 and just beginning to learn about the effects narc parents, early caregivers, etc., have on adult children. I think that I've managed to get by so why go through the pain of healing? Based on this teaching... I'll keep chugging on. Thx!
Thank you for talking about this, it’s some I’ve experienced and working on some of it I took from my up bringing, it’s so common in our society that we don’t see it as something wrong, I’m glad I’m working and awakening my community about it. 🙏🏿❤️
Hello Petra, I’m sorry you did not go on holiday, particularly since you now are likely in great need of one! However, I’m thrilled you have a beautiful new bathroom, & also that you learned a new skill, tiling a bathroom! Brilliant! I’ve not gotten any further in your video, so I shall return, but I wanted you to know you’ve been missed, but I’m very pleased for you. I completely relate as well to learning a new skill, for the sake of learning, & I agree that although I now know HOW to tile, I would still hire a professional the next time round. Perhaps one day though, a small repair might need to be made, & YOU will be capable of repairing it! I’m happy you are back though, & your calming & reassuring voice is most welcome to hear once again. Your husband sounds fabulous, & it is the dream of one day being with a person I love, who is healthy (when I am as well; still quite a ways to go b/c as you know, narcissists literally steal your soul in the night, leaving you bewildered & confused). I’m in the right place though as my narc just arrived home, & within 10 minutes, I was being screamed at over a missed text, so I am now listening to you on my earbuds. 😇 Just to let you know a bit of my situation: I am here with the narc until I can save enough money to leave & my medical issues resolve, which hopefully they will. (2-3 yrs approx). I just want my life, my SELF back. I would much prefer to be alone & peaceful than have this nonsense every single day! I know you understand. It hurts so much just to talk about it. But, on a positive note, I am glad you are here. Thank you for all you do. Peace & blessings to you, Belle 💫😇🌸🦋🙏🏼 p.s. I just checked the date of this post to be certain I was getting the facts correctly. My apologies for the off-timing. I shall leave my msg as is though because it still all applies, although I recall you saying recently you’d been away from making videos for some time. Either way, you are here, & I am grateful. 🙏🏼🌸
You are so right about the narc abuse starting before birth. Your videos are very informative and soothing, thank you. I am still in a relationship with a narc mother, but have managed to distance myself from her. As she is elderly she still expects much more from me as her main supply. It helps to know that she is a narc, but this knowledge came very late for me.
"they hate that your authenticity shines brighter than their phoniness.....so they end up being pathologically envious."
What I noticed is that EVERY SINGLE victim I have seen who’ve suffered narcissistic abuse, is BEAUTIFUL!! Like really... we are amazing inside and out. Full of LOVE, understanding and forgiveness.
Absolutely. And I have noticed we all have gentle and young skin.
I know
Destroyer of joy, bottomless pits of emptiness, anger and pathological envy...we generate our own energy because we are authentic - they cannot generate their own energy -suckers of life.. 😞
Don't try to heal in the same place that you were wounded. good summary of the way it is.
Lola that’s why I moved
They will follow , send others,or contact people near the new residence. However any reason to move is a good one. Hometown pride is for lames,dumb sports fans,and people who live in fear. Think of every person you know that talks about "this is where I'm from,This is where I belong" then consider how often,where,and how far away they vacation. Then consider their i.q. Also if the always frequent the same area for vacation and take part in the same activities and eating habits as while at home. Routine is thr death of life and comfort of narcissist. At least with most animal species it is just nature
Yes they will. I'm experiencing this and trying to figure out where to go to start over with no income. I finally figured out why everything has always ended in sabotage.
Lola, I don't think there is a better way to say this than you said. Way to go!🙂
Never share your dreams, plans, luck, achievements, happiness or anything good that happened to you with a narcissist. You will lose it. I've learned this lesson.
👍🏾💯🎯🎯 Perfect advice.
So true! I think procrastination is a side effect of dealing with these energy vampires. Not sure if it is part of learned helplessness
I don't consider being worn down to the point of physical exhaustion learned helplessness.
Michael Paul I think the learned helplessness is from the fact that nothing you do pleases them, you are damned if you do or don’t.
My ex never made me a priority. I was always 'on hold'. And as for the procrastination, he did so. Yes. And he can't prioritize time WHATSOEVER.
They sabotage you, call you at work, require you to take holidays to care for them, overload you when you have an important school/work deadline, and tell you your work/field is duMb and do/study something else. Been a regular on welfare, where they don't treat you kind either.
Learned after the last time, I need to start Living Away from the Narcissist.
Wow! I said this not long ago to my adult son and to beware! Do not leave out envy and jealousy. The narc is very envious and jealous of you! They are in competition with you! It is true, they are in misery and want you to be in misery as well! Because they are in darkness, they hate those in the Light and will destroy you if you allow them! Well said Petra. Glad you are back with another wise video! Shalom!
This is so true. And these people are EVERYWHERE! I've noticed that the more light you have in you, the more strange, bizarre treatment you will get from others based on their lack of light. The less light they have, the more they will treat you like you are "invisible" to them or fail to acknowledge your presence or other forms of invalidation. I get this type of treatment by going into stores such as Home Depot, Walmart, etc, from many of the employees. Yet they are just as nice as pie to my husband. But when I ask them something they don't respond, as if they literally don't hear or see me!!! Or they will talk to someone else while I'm in mid sentence, even if they spoke to me first! It's just completely bizarre the way people treat me in public. I didn't have this problem near as bad before I "woke up" to narc abuse. I truly believe it's the spirit of the antichrist taking over people.
So, that's why I use to feel like my ex-husband was in competition with me. I began feeling like I was married to my enemy. Glad to be free!
Yes very true words. Thank you and Shalom to you dear Shirley.
Reese wow I thought it was me! This happens all the time so I know exactly what you mean about this bizzare behavior.
Yeah most people don't believe the narcissist is an abusive person.
"You can't heal in the place you got hurt"
Wisest words I have heard in my journey to heal!
Omg.....these people are so toxic...!!!! They try to get rid of your family and friends one by one ...and if you are dating someone that will be their prime target...they must be so jealous. Its actually really creepy. Thanks Petra...have a great week from New Zealand.
Michelle Wilson ,
Right 👍
Michelle Wilson they are jealous
Very creepy and wierd people
Some are very overt, but my experience was with someone who was extremely sneaky and covert and worked behind the scenes to hurt my reputation with cleverly placed lies.
Thanks Petra, yup...i agree with everything, they want us to be nothing, whatever we are, they want to take away..they wont improve themselfs, be a better person, so they make us lower then them...my saying is...” rather then climb the ladder..they lower the floor”
They will never improve themslfs, unless its a bigger brighter mask, thanks hun sending big hugs 😊💕💪
Truth spoken Val. Mega hugs honeybun
Narcissist sent people to come to my work place,stalked me but God I’m greatiful I’m out of there and took my power back
I guess that is their mission. Maybe they operate at different levels and techniques, but the result/aime is always the same: destroy and push into chaos. It's like they all have the same master: the devil himself.
More like the same genetic/spiritual father. (Genesis 3:15)
@@reesedaniel5835 yes you're right devil has his one children n his children are probably numerous..n as this woman said don't trust the devilish children just like you don't trust him bcz they will withdrew or betray you in the very last minute..they are so frightened of word "betrayal"_that they subconsciously will do that to you so they can avoid any disappointment cuz they can't handle such emotions..
well said.
"Guilt, shame, and obligation..." It took me so long to realize and understand that people would purposely choose to behave this way. But they do, with no empathy. And when you call them on their own responsibility and set boundaries, they tear you to pieces. What I'd like to understand, is how to notice NPD's early on, so as to not get intertwined with them in the first place.
I believe we have to work on setting boundaries and standards early. If we do that. They will more then likely grow tired quickly, and leave you alone.
My grandfather had a very good saying"If you lie down with a dog you will come up with flee's.This is somewhat similar to your Dutch saying.
Spot on!
caitriona dunphy My mother told me that if I keep playing with trash, it will get in your eye‼️
HG Tudor explains this really well about empaths showing narcissistic traits for a time being, but never being capable of turning into a narcissist. It's almost like the empath must use those traits to survive and escape the narcissist is what I understood.
It's also called Narcissistic fleas. We pick up bad stuff from them like lack of any boundaries.
You just gave me a profound insight of my mother how you worded it. From the analytical point of an adult I am now, I can see all her actions were directed at destroying me, my self, my passion, goals and sense of safety. Thank you.
Yes. They want to strip you of everything that makes you happy and unique, and they want to control and destroy any chance you have at success. And they get pleasure from doing so, because to them they're "winning". Truly sick.
Thank you for this video. I have a narc mother and a dad that orbited around her. Many times people that are very close to me tell me I need to work on the relationship and no matter how hard I try to explain the abuse and how it affected me they do not believe or understand my experience. I chose to have limited contact because that is how I healed.
All those people see is your mother's fake mask. And all they want to hear are her lies. Best to just get away from the willfully ignorant. They are worse than the narc's in my opinion because they are the reason the narc's can continue their abuse.
Reese Daniel I agree. She is a completely different person around other people. It would make me sick because I knew another side of her that they never saw.
I understand how you are feeling. I blocked my "mom" 29/9-18 forever & I have never felt so free in my whole life. Stay strong and take care. Big hug from Sweden
You don’t have to relentlessly convince anyone anything in life and if they choose not to listen and it doesn’t mean what you believe isn’t true 🙏
Bless you... You are doing the right thing... I wish you joy!
Yes, you are so right. I had to distance myself from a coworker who tried this on me. She tried her best to "befriend" me, sucked up to me, and tried to mirror everything I did in order to gain my trust in her. Fortunately, I was able to figure it out pretty quickly, and got away from her. Of course, she tried everything she could to hoover me back, but eventually gave up and quit her job when her tactics failed.
In the last 48 hours I was hovered, gaslighted, and ghosted in a reappearance of this individual who nearly destroyed me. My fault for allowing the barest, brief visit after 9 months no contact. I actually Thought after that meeting it might be possible to hear from him every few months or annually. Then he started pulling my strings. Thanks to people like you,Petra, I at least have language for this and a common understanding with other targets of the truest gruesome emotions that accompany this phenomenon. My fault that I broke no contact . I told him never to contact me again and blocked his method of communication. This came to me at the same time all That was happening. I prayed for Mother Wisdom to guide the whole process and there you were. 💕🤗🌸
1 Freebird Its been over 1 year no contact for me and i will never let him near me again, if i seen him in street i would totally ignore him. Because i know if i spoke to him he would try to charm me so he could abuse me again! Nope that not going to happen. Stay strong.
1 Freebird well done
I feel, and heard, that they have a strong need to abuse but they actually could choose different. It is a very strong urge to destroy another person.
Yes they have free will just like we do. And that's why God will cast them out on Judgment Day. They know where they are going but they don't care, they enjoy inflicting pain on normal human beings far too much at the present moment.
That's why I know it's more than psychological, but more spiritual.
You are lovely.
Aaaw thank you dear Andrea.
What a lovely person. .to have been so harmed by evil, yet can show such grace and love to help others. thank you Petra
Thank you, I appreciate your warm words. My mantra is "Oh, hell no. Not on my watch!" hahaha ;-)
They are deeply terrible but truly think think are highly great. It’s the most draining infuriating situation to be in. Their unpredictable manipulative psychological warfare will wipe you out eventually ... unless you get completely out.
unfortunately, my own mother is a narcissist. Oh did I suffer! I did not even know that she was a narcissist until recently when I finally decided to do some deep research on what the problem could be with her. My abuse began when I was 13 years old, and it never ended until I was 35 when I finally decided to leave and go no contact with her. Everything you said describes my mother to the T and even more. Her jealousy runs so deep that I started wondering if she would try to send someone to hurt me, and I am not trying to be funny. She envies my ways, my looks, and even my little accomplishments. The last straw is that she has successfully turned my little sister against me whom she knew I love dearly. She had hurt me so badly when she abandoned me for 8 years then started spreading lies about me to everyone she knew I loved or who loved me. This women when on a campaign to destroy me. Everyone had turned against me because of her. What's worst is that I am an empath, her complete opposite, so imagine how I was feeling inside. She came back into my life, apologizes, and I forgave. In less than a year she turned around and started doing the same thing, and you know what people believe her, but this time after the constant abuse and her lies, I got furious and left because her behavior was too much to handle. It was at this point that someone told me that she has the traits of a narcissist. It felt like a burden lifted off my shoulders just knowing the source of her problem after years of abuse, confusion, and pain. I see that this woman was out to completely destroy me and I pride myself and getting away before she had done more damage to me. You are right you will heal from the abuse, but there still remains some deep remnants of pain that will probably stay with you that only time and absolutely no contact with the narcissist will heal. I don't even want to allow no one that she knows or interact with around me. These people are truly toxic and dangerous.
I’m sorry you went through this. I’m going through the same thing. Did you move cities to heal?
I recently learned that my mother is a malignant narcissist as well. And I'm 52. :( I always suspected something was wrong with her. I think that's why I moved away as soon as I graduated from high school, and never went back. But... it came to a head when my dad got sick in 2022. My parents had been hoovering me back for about ten years or so -- I realize it now, looking back at it. They didn't care about me as soon as I graduated from high school (even before that really), but were calling me more around 2017. I realize now, my mother wanted me to replace her Grade A supply from my dad, as he was declining. She got him working until 2020 (he was 79 years old) when the lockdown forced him to close his business. Then I realize now.... she started plotting to separate me from my husband and my kids. :( She did so many bad financial things to me. Depleted my husband and my savings. :( Trying to make me financially dependent on her. Turning all her relatives against me. Towards the end, she was causing bruises on her arms, and smiling at me. As if she were going to call APS on me if I didn't do what she told me to do. I left. I didn't even go back for my dad's death. I know she turned all my relatives against me, but I understand now, they are all just like her too. She had already alienated all my dad's relatives all my life, telling my dad that they were trying to steal his money. It was untrue. I realize that now. SHE was the one who was stealing money. :( I found tax records from 2006 and 2018 that proved it. But she depleted all my funds, I didn't even have anything left to fight her in court. But, I know that I'm better off anyway, just leaving her to her own relatives. :( Evil only begets evil. The only solution is to GET AWAY. They are scary. She fooled me for 52 years. But, she cannot fool God. I'm so lucky I married a man who had normal parents. My mother-in-law is my role model for parenting now. I feel blessed that God helped me get away from my scary family of origin. I will never go back to her. Matthew 19:29-30
I used to wonder why every time I was really happy, it would be followed by an emotion akin to "uh oh, what is coming now to bash this happiness?". Now I understand where that came from. They start their conditioning very young. Thank you so much for this illuminating vid. :)
I've been struggling with this type of abuse for 5 yrs. I think these ppl also have a form of OCD in their personalities because of the tenacious way they target the victims, constantly and covert, years after you have severed ties. It is true they see something good in you and resent it, and work almost on a full time basis to sabotage everything blessing that comes you. They are some really sick and sad individuals the extent that they go through to sabotage someone else's life and to rob you of you peace of mind. Thank you so much for sharing.
Great video. You just said something that made me think of the movie Gremlins........they can't stand bright light. Step into the light and they can't come near you.
Hi Petra, thanks for this wonderful video. I love your accent--it sounds so sophisticated. After going NC with my narcissistic family 5 years ago, I never thought I'd heal to the point where I could finally say to myself, "I love my life." It's been quite a journey--but I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm happy.
Narc parents will call you place of employment to plant some poison.
Pfsif I believe that was done to me. That’s some evil shit
so very true. This happened to my brother, myself twice, and my step father at his teaching job in another state....all originating from the same narcissist n-dad. Stepmonster called my college and tried to have my major changed. lol.
So called born again Christian ex-friend phoned my Muslim friend's place of work repeatedly to accuse him of theft when he had sold her an HP demo laser printer which she had wanted but changed her mind about because it wasn't from a "Christian" source. I am leery of all born again Christians to this day. If someone has to tell you, "By the way, I'm a born again Christian" you are very likely dealing with a narcissist who wants to control you by triangulating with her "God" against you.
This Video is so true. Everytime I was happy having fun here came my Covert Narc husband yelling at me. He was very angry raging at me asking me what the h&ll are you doing?!! Like he cared- nope. Now I’m being stalked by him yes stalked -he was hoovering me for many months like crazy & sending things in the mail to me-calling me all the time. Him stalking me is something i didn’t expect. They lie about everything. I’ve taken on the anger at times he has and yelled got angry. I’ve told myself I don’t want to be bitter & miserable like him then go punch a pillow to get it out or talk with my therapist & Sister.
I've been nourishing myself , loving myself , I'm so glad that I've broken away physically .
I kept saying over and over to the Lord that I felt like I was going to lose a piece of myself each and every day. I know he was hoping that I would say something mean to my 13 year old son out of frustration with him during an argument.
I just went no contact with my Narc father. I had to also do the same with me enabler mother, who will try to justify and guilt trip into accepting the narc father behavior. I totally agree with separation to heal. It like knowing a well is poisoned but continued to drink from it. I know the well is poisoned and I am going to drink and heal from other sources.
Asha Parham you are so right.
They always have excuses for their abominable actions. I was confused, I didn't`t know, I made a mistake, I was unaware. You are the one with the problem, he says.. He tells me and forces me in a way to be the loving and adorable person I was at the beginning. I CANT . How can I after all the blockages and silences and triangulations and all the rest? I can't. I cried more than I laughed with him . But he wants me to cancel the past.... I can't. I've been having panic attacks lately. He says I'm imagining things. That he is always here for me...That he was always here for me. BS. Right - the person who harmed you cannot heal you.
Bintang221 .... I so so hear you. I hope you are ok
Run
I moved out of the country. These people are pitch black dark minded!
You remind me of the women in the Matrix because of your appearance and the wisdom that you offer to others, Thanks!
You're welcome. Will check out The Matrix again hahaha.
Yes procrastination is the worst thing i,ve developed since leaving the narcissist
Thank you for clarifying this: I began to think, " Is it me? Am I the Narcissist?" and then my friend said no, probably not if you're worrying that you may be?
Thank you so much for this video. Yes, the survivor of abuse does not need to be held responsible for "patching things up" with the abuser. In cases of abuse, it does not take "two to tango" and it is upsetting and infuriating to hear so-called "friends" try to get us to turn the other cheek. A real friend would say, "Run! Run from him/her, and you have my support."
Her voice is so calming. I feel at peace listening to her.
this explains a lot about a narc I knew. while working for his father I found out that he actually sabotaged a deal I could have made, and he also did some other shady things. Any money I could have made for the company was ultimately going to be his. Because he was going to inherit everything. But he couldn't bear the idea that I would be the one who created the success, because then that would lead to good things for me.
They tried and failed. It was the worst and best experience of my life. I learnt how to play a chess game with them.
Petra, I cannot believe how much I suffered and I thought it was ME. Everything you've shared in EVERY video I've watched, is parallel with my experience! It just blows my mind - the accuracy is shocking. Sadly, we have a child together so he's inescapable but I am recovering and adjusted my own behavior. I adore my son and in this I find happiness. Thank you Petra for your courage to share. I feel normal again. I'm NOT crazy.
Thank god cause I don’t want to be a narcissist
I had a friend that said to me when i was with him that he was Sabotage me? I never understood what she meant? I do now 2 years narc free still healing but i feel better away from him never want to hear or see him again!! Great video!!😊
Growing up with a narc parent, I had severe anxiety and panic attack issues. It was so bad it that I was too afraid to ever leave the house as nearly everything would trigger a panic attack. Noe I'm in a much better place than I was before, have since moved out of that toxic home full of chaos and gained independence. Still healing and working through the heart break that comes with being raised by a narc parent. Some days it's difficult but I know I'm on the right path by having separated from that toxic energy and allow myself to heal. Living with a narcissist is dangerous to both your physical and mental health. The best thing we can do is seperate ourselves from it and allow ourselves to heal.
Thank you, I did just that....... self sabotage. I can tell I am making little tiny baby steps in my healing and I don’t think I’m doing it fast enough.
Same here. I spent years thinking I was rebelling against these people when I was in fact doing exactly what they wanted so that by the time I woke up and tried to expose them, I was already deemed "unstable" and "the trouble maker" or "crazy" etc., and was not believed or validated. Just shunned and isolated even further. Fun stuff isn't it? It's like we are born into a trap and the more we wiggle, the more trapped we become.
Healing takes courage dear Mildred. Every day of healing is a strengthening of your courage muscle. Healing is not a race to a final destination. It's developing an intimate, spiritual, fun, flirty and secure friendship with yourself. I call it dating and then ultimately committing to yourself ;-) A huge hug for you.
Petra Van Deijl
Petra, thank you for your beautiful, compassionate response. Love u, your knowledge and your channel
December 31, 2018 ... it was our turn to entertain the family. Dinner, drinks etc... a year in advance I had prepared the menu and looking forward to it. The 30th he became sick... shivering in bed so I had to cancel 12 people. The next day I called the doctor. I brought tea and toast to be which he didn’t want, saying it was not good. An hour later he was downstairs, dressed and fit to ‘ note how many children came singing at the door on the 31st’. I did go shopping and made a nice dinner ... turkey etc... which he didn’t like.. so yes, it was all sabotaging me.
I listened to you last night before I went to sleep woke up you channel was gone and I searched all day to find your channel again now I'm here yayyyyyy!
Very good thank you. Have had this happen to me a lot. I think strengthening myself spiritually, and my faith was key to survive, and to be able to stop being dragged into other relationships with other narcissistic people. Also fostering a close and loving relationship with myself has proved invaluable, and continues to reap huge rewards because you are then less vulnerable in general, or needy. Blessings Petra...
You said you can't heal in the place you were traumatized is 100% on my narcissist lives next door and I haven't healed but she seems to sabotage any friendships we make that don't include her
Or... Just don't deal with them, because they will always sabotage your life!
But i miss her so much You know...
Well i know it will start all over again and over again and i, well i can't and won't take narcissists behaviour anymore.
What's rather disconcerting is that all of society is becoming narcissistic. I noticed this Saturday while at Home Depot in my area. The employees treated me like I was "invisible" and "mute". I researched this phenomena and it's happening to people everywhere. They are being "blanked out" in public places as though they are invisible, or are "unworthy" of being noticed or heard. It's very bizarre what is happening. I think these people are all pawns for a demonic hierarchy controlling them like puppets against those with light in them.
I’m so glad you said this because that’s exactly what I’m fighting within myself every single day... I do miss the exNarc I loved him deeply but I don’t miss the abusive behaviors , this is important for me to keep reminding myself during his Hoovers... nothing will change the abuse with resume and much worse. I keep telling myself that going back is not an option because there’s nothing to go back to but hell...staying no contact and continuing to focus on my healing is how I save my own life and demonstrate self Love.
Tanya Robinson ,
Maybe you can write down his abusive behaviour for your self, and what it did with you. For me it was healing. Take care 💙
Reese Daniel OMG I noticed THIS as well!!😱
Reese YES! This is happening badly and I felt the same in my spirit that its demonic! Must stay close to God! It is very bizarre indeed...
This is one of the best explanations and analysis I have seen on YT -- and I have watched so many of these types of vids (100's). So much content and spot on observation succinctly put in a crystal clear way. Bravo! This describes my covert narc father to a "T". From the sabotaging of our happiness since birth, minimizing our accomplishments, to the surprise attacks and distractions, to sabotaging my work, relationships, hobbies and talents, to the narcs perpetual envy, guilt trips, shame/shaming, projection, etc. Awesome job. Thank you for making and posting this.
Those of us who are victims of this ongoing horror never understood that we were under attack. It's like we are pawns in some kind of spiritual/psychological Chess Game but only the opponents seem to know about the game and make the rules as they go and we are made to believe that all people are just like us, all one species of "human." So when we were told we were "doing wrong," we believed it. When we were told we were "bad", we believed it. When we were punished for being "bad" (aka truthful), we accepted it because we believed we deserved it and we internalized the intense shame that went with it (their shame dumped onto us). How much we loved our parent as a child and how we never once suspected our parent was in reality our enemy. As an adult, there is a internal humiliation you inflict on yourself the day you wake up and realize how your parent(s) duped you. What a sucker you were, and how if you try to talk to other family members about it now they just assume you are making excuses for current failures in your life. And let's not forget how the (more) toxic parent manipulates the other parent into being the dispenser of punishment or insults causing the victim to run to the enemy as the "protector." I'm so grateful for this channel and others who are addressing a portion of society that has no voice because we are dismissed as adults who are blaming our confusion or failure on past events that were not documented accurately. The record shows... we were "bad." Our reputations, we were bad. Our denial or attempt to show or explain in an accurate frame, said "crimes" just make us look worse and more "crazy" to onlookers. They have been completely duped by the narc, hook, line and sinker. Their minds are 100% controlled and they don't even know it. It's a No Win scenario for the victims of this ongoing horror.
Very well put, Reese. Everything you say here. That is my experience as well. Both my parents were sick... and yeah, especially the part about running to the enemy, the "head-honcho covert narc", after betrayal by the other... only to be betrayed on an even bigger scale. When I think how "magnanimous" that ass was acting... Only later, after learning about cluster-b's, I realized he (covert NF) set the whole damn scam up... it just burns me up... smh.
Thank you Petra, excellent content! God Bless.
My dear lady, it seems like you know me personally and you’re giving me tailored advice. I feel so malnourished, I need time to heal.
My Narcissistic father always says that the people in our surroundings are ''the Narcissists''.
He always knows so much about Narcissim, but when people like me are pointed out
that he's a Narcissist himself, he totally denies it. It's so laughable the hypocrisy.
narcissist brings negativity to you and then complaint that you are negative... you cannot accomplishment positive by accepting negative in life... stop accepting narcissist's negativity.
Missed you
Thanks!!!
❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️
I am the family scapegoat. My dad and mom are narcs. I have a great husband who is there for me but it isn't 100% comforting bc he doesn't know exactly how it feels or how much damage has been done. I moved over 1000 miles away to escape from my mom and her flying monkeys aka my siblings and their kids and my mom's family. I mean cousins aunts They all think i'm dog shit bc of my mom. So I escaped that. However my Dad lives here and he is awful to me. It is torturous. I love my dad very much. he is hilarious and kind to people. Except his kids and grandkids and my husband. those closest to him seem to be of different use to him. I finally told him after all these years that he is a narcissist. I didn't mean to but he feeds off of being mean. So I blurted it out and he called me crazy. And that he had no idea what i was talking about. I told him that was called gaslighting. He is nice when I put up walls. He is fake nice when I put up walls. I only recently came to terms that he is never going to change. he is never going to be there for me. he is never going to be happy for me when something good happens in my life. He will always give me the silent treatment or not even smile when I tell him something that I want him to be proud of me for. When I tell him something I want him to feel sorry for me for I will receive no pity or mercy from him.
Great video so true
Thank you so much for this video Petra. I cried all through the vid ….as I remembered my mother..i feel soo ashamed!!
This is the common denominator! Thank you.
Great video
Thank you, Petra. I look forward to all of your videos. You have such a calming soothing effect on me and I need that right now. Thank you so much
"Break that chain of energy, let your authenticity shine again"♡ This talk is one of a few great guides that help my journey to find the " real me" I always knew was there somewhere.
God bless you and your work !
Love, light and blessings Zeila, you have the strength and courage to do this ❤
A fantastic video!!! Very informative and crucial information. It got me really thinking!!
And the best on top of that was, when my narcissistic friend said, after he blaimed or made me feel guilty, it is only my problem and fault. He didn't even recognise what he said and that *he* himself caused that disturbance on purpose (to disguise his own misery - that's what I understand today). It is so....ewww....
I was procrastinating as a student I was actually going to drop all of my classes because of my toxic narc friend. I was feeling really drained and I was doubtful of myself no more! I missed me and I'm starting to love myself again once I broke all ties with this emotional vampire
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤. When trying to regain myself and get strong. That feeling of strength made me question that. But years later of hard work I realized that uncomfortable feeling of regaining strength that stinky thought is all part of their conditioning which he still uses 16 years later when I have to actually see him in child support hearings. It's a long road, keep on keeping on the healthy road. Peace and love, someday the world will follow. Treat everyone with love and respect always. Peace out.❤
I find this whole subject to be fascinating. I'm reminded of a childhood friend who was working out with me in preparation for a baseball game. I was experimenting with throwing the ball as hard as I could. At the start of the next game I asked if I could get an inning a pitching. Right before I took the mound this friend told me that the pitches I was throwing to him the other day were really bad and that I should not try to do that on the mound. The result was that I had a terrible inning. what I wonder is, when I was throwing the ball really hard during our workout, was he afraid of the potential success I could have or maybe was having just by throwing the ball that way? What was he feeling, and could he even recognize it?
Thank you for this video! :) Take care!
Thanks for being the only vid about them sabataging us. But no one is talking about the sabatagw like cutting holes in your clothes, hiding one shoe, putting a well placed stain, adding something to your shampoo and lotion that dries you out, filing down your keys, making a mess anywhere you spend lots of time cleaning, taking your car apart 3 bolts per day, making sure a charger cord NEVER works, even somehow making ALL of your pens burst in your apron every night when you're a waitress. Burning things on the bottom of the stove. Messing with screws and hinges so your doors change how the close. Or how they remain open. Daily putting new dings and scratches in your floor and nice furniture. Opening caps on stuff and leaving it sideways to run out. Everywhere. Everytime. Even when you're so vigilant and watchful!
You do not have to tolerate this abuse and bullying Delery!
All this STUFF I am hearing about how humans are in these last dayz that the Bible mentions in 2Timothy is causing me to be fearful of people . Theses wolves in sheep's clothing is downright fearful & depressing . The envy & jealousy that is real is a warning not to brush this reality under the carpet . It is a wonder that anyone is successful or that anyone can meet someone and fall in love and get married . The biggest thing I remember is that females have taught me that they are evil and should not be trusted . The sad thing is that I did not start out this way.
Gosh this is good and very healing . I am in the process of leaving a very long and painful relationship. I don’t see any positive change in this person in fact the tricks are getting more frequent and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to lose control. I’m.sure this will not take long as attorneyx are quickly getting involved and I am doing everything in my power to expose the people involved in abusing my child to keep control of me and this is going to get very real very fast for him and his “flying monkeys”. You were made to do this .. thank you
Dear Petra, Thank you for this video. I value your wisdom, you have a very deep understanding of the abusive narcissist. So many jewels in this video. Nearly 3 years away and 3 years of healing taking place here.
Thank you for your warm words Gina. 3 years...wow what a milestone! Healing is a process dear Gina, be aware and grateful for how far you've come. Love to you x
Great video , I did not think about self sabotage, and so appreciated when you said, keep yourself safe. Thank You Petra!
You speak the truth!!! Yes! all the way 😘
New bathroom exactly how you all like it? Good for You all! Enjoy 🚿🚿🚿😁
I Like very much the color of your tshirt, just Great, looks good on you👍
Thank You for this Video Petra. There behaviour is just so terrible it takes your breath away. They want to put you down in every way.
Well that's how it is. You can't change them, so change Yourself how to deal with them. Thanks 💙💙💙 M 😘
My dad always said there are sayings for reasons..misery loves company, hurt people hurt people, water seeks it's own level, if it to good to be true so be aware of love bombing..
Petra you have a beautiful vibe about you ! blessings
That is so sweet...thank you x
All jealous ex's do. Nice to have you back. Loads of love n thanks. 🙏💖🦈 We are trauma-bonded. Attachment trauma. He was destructive. Awfully so.
Hi Petra! You are such an inspiration, a guide, a wonderful coach!!! I listened to this video OVER and over again. Today, I picked up the message of procrastination and self sabotage. Guess what?! I decided to DO the task I needed to do since my dear Petra told me so...lol! I am so glad I took your advice because the task is long tedious and I am still in the process of accomplishing it. But I thought, I needed a break to THANK YOU SO MUCH! For me to START the task and I am glad! More love, power and blessing to you! I appreciate you and you are an angel!
Great video, Petra💎
🙏🏿 Thank you 🙏🏿
You are speaking everything I'm going through
Thank you Petra!
This is so eye-opening I could never understand why someone who is so much younger and so much prettier than I am would be jealous of me and went to sabotage my life
Jealousy comes from insecurity, but rather than admitting this, the narcissist will project all of their insecurities onto you.
Thank you for this knowledge!
This was fantastic!! Very enlightening and confirmed many thoughts I've had about a few past romantic relationships and a current platonic relationship with someone who's supposed to be a friend. Thank you for this!
It's like you have alarms or something that go off for stuff I'm doing and you label it for me...self sabotage! I've been thinking that I'm 52 and just beginning to learn about the effects narc parents, early caregivers, etc., have on adult children. I think that I've managed to get by so why go through the pain of healing? Based on this teaching... I'll keep chugging on. Thx!
It ended me (and others) in the hospital.
Thank you for the tip..of self sabotage..
WOW 💎💞
What an amazing, well put together video
Thank you Mila.
Thanks Petra. You are a very helpfull and wise person..
Thank you. Much love!
+Petra Van Deijl thank you
Thank you for talking about this, it’s some I’ve experienced and working on some of it I took from my up bringing, it’s so common in our society that we don’t see it as something wrong, I’m glad I’m working and awakening my community about it. 🙏🏿❤️
Im never sure if you're trying to be funny but you make me laugh out loud a lot
Hello Petra,
I’m sorry you did not go on holiday, particularly since you now are likely in great need of one! However, I’m thrilled you have a beautiful new bathroom, & also that you learned a new skill, tiling a bathroom! Brilliant! I’ve not gotten any further in your video, so I shall return, but I wanted you to know you’ve been missed, but I’m very pleased for you. I completely relate as well to learning a new skill, for the sake of learning, & I agree that although I now know HOW to tile, I would still hire a professional the next time round. Perhaps one day though, a small repair might need to be made, & YOU will be capable of repairing it! I’m happy you are back though, & your calming & reassuring voice is most welcome to hear once again. Your husband sounds fabulous, & it is the dream of one day being with a person I love, who is healthy (when I am as well; still quite a ways to go b/c as you know, narcissists literally steal your soul in the night, leaving you bewildered & confused). I’m in the right place though as my narc just arrived home, & within 10 minutes, I was being screamed at over a missed text, so I am now listening to you on my earbuds. 😇
Just to let you know a bit of my situation: I am here with the narc until I can save enough money to leave & my medical issues resolve, which hopefully they will. (2-3 yrs approx). I just want my life, my SELF back. I would much prefer to be alone & peaceful than have this nonsense every single day! I know you understand. It hurts so much just to talk about it. But, on a positive note, I am glad you are here. Thank you for all you do.
Peace & blessings to you,
Belle 💫😇🌸🦋🙏🏼
p.s. I just checked the date of this post to be certain I was getting the facts correctly. My apologies for the off-timing. I shall leave my msg as is though because it still all applies, although I recall you saying recently you’d been away from making videos for some time. Either way, you are here, & I am grateful. 🙏🏼🌸
Thank you for explaining how the sabotage / self sabotage works. This was a great insight for me.
Sincere thanks to you ma'am, you are brilliant
You are so right about the narc abuse starting before birth. Your videos are very informative and soothing, thank you. I am still in a relationship with a narc mother, but have managed to distance myself from her. As she is elderly she still expects much more from me as her main supply. It helps to know that she is a narc, but this knowledge came very late for me.