This is true I have recently been on a mission to find joy. And yes it is everywhere! I didn't get there without finding sorrow first. However, it far out weighs the sorrow now. There's so much joy in just the simplest things as Listening to the sound of someone's giggle.
You can be a joyful person but if you find yourself with someone who is avoidant or manipulative it takes your joy away. The dynamic between two people matters more than one person on their own.
Wow! That's a great definition: their baseline has to be joy. That's really powerful. My ex wore the "joyful" mask so well, while underneath he is deeply miserable. Some people are great actors.
No body or I don't have time for a fling at 57 years younger, that is what kids do, thanks for the conversation, having your own life, not being needy and bringing value to one another, if not, go work on yourself, until you have something to offer someone else besides yourself and keep it moving! 👊👊👊👊👊👊
It’s almost impossible to trust someone when they can just flip a switch and disconnect from you like you don’t even exist… especially after you let them know how much it hurts.
There’s so much truth to that, I’m currently working on this after 20 years of being in a toxic relationship. I’ve been alone for 3 years now and feel so much love for myself that I didn’t have codependency was my biggest issue ❤
I m an indoor person and my husband is outdoor. Works fine. We have same values we r homesteads, faithful, reliable, that s what s important. We don t do everything together, but why shouls we? We enjoy a homely meal together, we read, watch movies together, enjoy being in our house. It s the system of values that s more important than hobbies. If one is a cheater and the other monogamous, what good will it do if u r both the outdoor type?
You need to be similar to be compatible. I’ve come to find out this is a half truth. You can like different things. It just leads to “have fun”, and you each have a good time and come back to the dinner table with a smile and a story. But you HAVE to hate the same things, otherwise you trigger each other‘a pet pieves, eg leaving dishes in the sink overnight, etc
I love my life. The only thing missing is a healthy relationship. All these videos act like there is a never ending supply of choices available. Not true. I meet very few men I'm attracted to before even discovering they are emotionally unavailable.
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 no. Most people are primarily attracted to unavailable people because they are the most attractive ones and hence first off the dating market
"What happens when we depend on our partner for our happiness?" - "Catastrophe." 1,000% the truth, and its a slow a sneaky death of a thousand cuts kind of catastrophe that usually doesn't blow up but festers and decays. Needing another in order to feel love and value is a block to feeling love and value.
Oh that last part hit me hard as I had a woman stonewall me and avoid talking to me about it. I gave her a chance to come clean and to talk about it but she never did so things with her and I are completely done(thankfully I can sense when someone is not being genuine themselves). Communication is important but I also can’t fix you and if you don’t fix yourself on your own I can’t be with you. Stonewalling and not being your genuine self is unacceptable.
I got very lucky, been married over 30+ years. Happily... It happens. Lost her to Alzheimer's / dementia. Now, I am thinking I may not want to take a chance again.
@@OM-1111 On dating??? If she does have a heart full of gratitude you will not be able to fill it. If she does have a heart full of gratitude, trust but verify! My life? Focused on yourself and become OKAY with just being yourself by yourself. Where ever you are in your journey that is perfect. Where do you want to be tomorrow... Start today.
Get your sh×t together, so in a relationship, you get on and build a beautiful thing together. Instead of ripping the soul or bringing the other person down. Really get your sh×t together.
I agree to a certain extent here. I don't know these people, but she mentioned she had insecurities at the time. This almost seems like chasing perfection. That is not good either. There will be disagreements or things going on in every relationship. It's how you communicate through things.
I don't quite understand the last part where she said " that is not allow in my world "? Is she saying her partner was too aggressive at the time? Also she saying she wasn't dare to ask him, I'm confused 😐
I don't recall the last part you mentioned, but the "that is not allowed in my world" part, I believe, means she now knows what she wants in a relationship, has the self-esteem to assert herself, and sees bad communication skills as a complete turn-off. Knowing your values prevent you from wasting too much time in relationships that are not a good match
Just let her do the chasing, She will, anyway, like the girl who said "There are no boys in my neighbourhod who are worth chasing. When my nemesis had me sewn up, she told me what other girls in the group had done, like wearing low-necked dresses. Liz, the girlfriend in Garfield, said "I wore high heels for this!"
I absolutely LOVE when people who are unable to maintain a meaningful long term relationship, try to act like experts in building and maintaining long term relationships. lol. These people are so weird
I think that things she's saying are worthy of consideration and exploring. While I get what you're saying, I've also gotten terrible relationship advice from people who are in long marriages - but the marriages are nightmares.
@@RubanLawrence you basically have to lightly dominate without ever once losing your cool or joy. Never let them play the games; call it out in a joking way. Until they learn and calm down and grow up……but this is no easy task. It’s like taking on a junkyard dog to be a house pet unless you find a diamond.
'When someone's Baseline is Joy you don't have to do something to make them joyful.'❤
This is true I have recently been on a mission to find joy. And yes it is everywhere!
I didn't get there without finding sorrow first.
However, it far out weighs the sorrow now.
There's so much joy in just the simplest things as Listening to the sound of someone's giggle.
She is so correct about paradoxes. Life and especially relationships are full of paradoxes ❤
You can be a joyful person but if you find yourself with someone who is avoidant or manipulative it takes your joy away. The dynamic between two people matters more than one person on their own.
100%
I have been in that situation.
Ding ding! And it's worse when they don't take responsibility for the impact of their actions.
@jenn8767 they never do. Only if it benefits them to return.
Wow! That's a great definition: their baseline has to be joy. That's really powerful. My ex wore the "joyful" mask so well, while underneath he is deeply miserable. Some people are great actors.
No body or I don't have time for a fling at 57 years younger, that is what kids do, thanks for the conversation, having your own life, not being needy and bringing value to one another, if not, go work on yourself, until you have something to offer someone else besides yourself and keep it moving! 👊👊👊👊👊👊
all youre suppose to offer is yourself when it comes to love. lmao
It’s almost impossible to trust someone when they can just flip a switch and disconnect from you like you don’t even exist… especially after you let them know how much it hurts.
There’s so much truth to that, I’m currently working on this after 20 years of being in a toxic relationship. I’ve been alone for 3 years now and feel so much love for myself that I didn’t have codependency was my biggest issue ❤
There is some solid wisdom here! A lot of this I'm only learning now in my mid 40's. Very insightful!
So glad to hear you are finding value. Thank you for being here 🧡
I m an indoor person and my husband is outdoor. Works fine. We have same values we r homesteads, faithful, reliable, that s what s important. We don t do everything together, but why shouls we? We enjoy a homely meal together, we read, watch movies together, enjoy being in our house. It s the system of values that s more important than hobbies. If one is a cheater and the other monogamous, what good will it do if u r both the outdoor type?
You need to be similar to be compatible. I’ve come to find out this is a half truth. You can like different things. It just leads to “have fun”, and you each have a good time and come back to the dinner table with a smile and a story. But you HAVE to hate the same things, otherwise you trigger each other‘a pet pieves, eg leaving dishes in the sink overnight, etc
I think these two are vibing with each other ❤️
Both are amazing!!
Look how open she is , so great to see
I love my life. The only thing missing is a healthy relationship. All these videos act like there is a never ending supply of choices available. Not true. I meet very few men I'm attracted to before even discovering they are emotionally unavailable.
There s a reason u r only attracted to unavailable men...that s low self esteem..work on that and you ll have healthy relationships
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 no. Most people are primarily attracted to unavailable people because they are the most attractive ones and hence first off the dating market
"What happens when we depend on our partner for our happiness?" - "Catastrophe." 1,000% the truth, and its a slow a sneaky death of a thousand cuts kind of catastrophe that usually doesn't blow up but festers and decays. Needing another in order to feel love and value is a block to feeling love and value.
Oh that last part hit me hard as I had a woman stonewall me and avoid talking to me about it. I gave her a chance to come clean and to talk about it but she never did so things with her and I are completely done(thankfully I can sense when someone is not being genuine themselves). Communication is important but I also can’t fix you and if you don’t fix yourself on your own I can’t be with you. Stonewalling and not being your genuine self is unacceptable.
I needed to hear this today
Thanks for watching!
This short clip changed my thinking. 💯
I got very lucky, been married over 30+ years. Happily... It happens. Lost her to Alzheimer's / dementia. Now, I am thinking I may not want to take a chance again.
Wow bless you brother. Such a blessing to have a wonderful marriage. Stay strong and be happy whatever that looks like for you.
Blessings to you and your family bro. We love you.
Beautiful. Give us tips and advice.
@@OM-1111 On dating??? If she does have a heart full of gratitude you will not be able to fill it. If she does have a heart full of gratitude, trust but verify! My life? Focused on yourself and become OKAY with just being yourself by yourself. Where ever you are in your journey that is perfect. Where do you want to be tomorrow... Start today.
Get your sh×t together, so in a relationship, you get on and build a beautiful thing together.
Instead of ripping the soul or bringing the other person down.
Really get your sh×t together.
I agree to a certain extent here. I don't know these people, but she mentioned she had insecurities at the time. This almost seems like chasing perfection. That is not good either. There will be disagreements or things going on in every relationship. It's how you communicate through things.
We both wanted a family..but we had totally different ideas about how to Do it. Terrible for my poor children 😊❤
This is a fantastic episode.
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!
Uffff! This hit a nerve 🥶
This was worth watching..
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!
I don't quite understand the last part where she said " that is not allow in my world "? Is she saying her partner was too aggressive at the time? Also she saying she wasn't dare to ask him, I'm confused 😐
I don't recall the last part you mentioned, but the "that is not allowed in my world" part, I believe, means she now knows what she wants in a relationship, has the self-esteem to assert herself, and sees bad communication skills as a complete turn-off. Knowing your values prevent you from wasting too much time in relationships that are not a good match
@@victornoboru thank you 🙏🏻
2:55
Just let her do the chasing, She will, anyway, like the girl who said "There are no boys in my neighbourhod who are worth chasing. When my nemesis had me sewn up, she told me what other girls in the group had done, like wearing low-necked dresses. Liz, the girlfriend in Garfield, said "I wore high heels for this!"
Autentic love ? Ego is blocking it .
Love experts without a relationship seriously???!
Love is about money....
I absolutely LOVE when people who are unable to maintain a meaningful long term relationship, try to act like experts in building and maintaining long term relationships. lol. These people are so weird
Why not ?
Old people know the best. It’s just everyone wants to get paid for being a mouth. Everyone is an expert
I think that things she's saying are worthy of consideration and exploring. While I get what you're saying, I've also gotten terrible relationship advice from people who are in long marriages - but the marriages are nightmares.
@@RubanLawrence you basically have to lightly dominate without ever once losing your cool or joy. Never let them play the games; call it out in a joking way. Until they learn and calm down and grow up……but this is no easy task. It’s like taking on a junkyard dog to be a house pet unless you find a diamond.
Is it necessary to be in a long term relationship in order to give advice on building & maintaining long term relationships?
Is she ENTP?
Looks like she is...
Self hugs all around!!! ‘Self-love’ is the best love, believe it or not. 🥰❤️🩹💖❤️🔥👍
Yes it is!