a big fat post-grad existential crisis™
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- Опубликовано: 29 май 2019
- instagram ➭ @best.dressed
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Me overthinking my entire life and having a post grad quarter life existential for a spicy 8 minutes straight.
ON ME
crop top: urban outfitters (bit.ly/2HjmaZF)
shorts: agolde (bit.ly/2Wevg49)
heart necklace: vanessa mooney (similar: bit.ly/2I6dsyj)
choker: mejuri (bit.ly/2QvwTV2)
earrings: i deigned them! (enroutejewelry.com/collection...)
F A Q
what’s your name? ashley
what’s your instagram? @best.dressed
how old are you? 21 (born in 1998)
how tall are you? 5'5"
what’s your ethnicity? half british and half burmese
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ camera: amzn.to/2Nb0W1z
➭ lens: amzn.to/2JiSrz7
➭ vlog camera: amzn.to/2DfL4cZ
➭ mic: amzn.to/2QHfZBU
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra! 
Хобби
"I'm just this capsule of feelings and memories that nobody else can understand"
*fuckkkk*
Got me good
James Charles: I can talk fast-
Ashley: *Hold my Rosemary Bread*
I like your pfp and username 😊
arMYYYYYYYY
Kookies and Suga could you just say that you like the person's pfp and username instead of saying ARMY to annoy less people?Thank you :) this is just a request
Martha EP y would it annoy anyone?
Martha EP oHHH i get it, it just annoys you
you’re one of those people who i can watch no matter what the video is
Shreya T. Cause she isn’t fake all other bishes
YES
this is why I love her content omg!!!!!!!!!!!
whoa this is so accurate!
Same tho
As a 25 year old woman, I found that the deck of cards metaphor has completed faded from my mind as I’ve gotten older...There just comes a point where you’re so deeply grateful and elated to be with *your* human that no other humans can replace him/her. 💗💗💗 Like, thing of your dog (or your cat if your a weird cat person 😉). Sure there are other dogs in the world, but *no dog on planet earth* could replace YOUR dog.
I completely agree! I think this deck of cards metaphor is kind of an...immature way of viewing relationships. At some point, when you're truly in a happy and fulfilling relationship and place in life, you're not even wondering or hoping for something better, you are just happy and that is "enough." I don't really even believe in "the one," it's about growing as people, as a couple, and nurturing the love you have and some hypothetical person out there being more "compatible" with you doesn't matter in the slightest.
I feel like the people who see relationships as deck of cards (like me) have probably not met that person or related with someone that deeply, I feel like there’s someone better but again maybe I’m too picky and have to work on that or maybe I just haven’t met anyone whom I just yk feel good around and like would want that person around me atleast for this lifetime
I feel like if Ashley was having these thoughts while with David she was not truly in love with him? Based on my experience being in love a mixture of who they are and all the little things combined with all the time and loyalty you’ve given to each other makes them unique and irreplaceable in all the world and you never question if someone else would be worth leaving ur person for.
when I first got the notification I read it as “beststressed” and tbh it’s kinda fitting for this vid LMAO
james charles : you know, i talk really fa-
ashley : hold my existential crisis!
at least her voice isn't annoying
Omg yesss hahahaha I remember watching her video for the first time thinking, why and how did this go on 2x speed? HAHAHA love that 😂😂💁🏾♀️
why is nobody talking about how that groom in the wedding doodle is wearing Birkenstocks (typical david lololol)
Qiyue Zhang literally was looking for this comment
And Ashley is wearing that white thrifted dress + white heeled shoes that she's shown on her channel a lot (can you tell I watch a lot of fashion videos)
the groom doodle has Davids hair too
this comment did not age well lol
Bruh this is why I try to keep a journal. The fragility of memory scares the shit out of me. All the little realizations that had made huge impacts in my life, the lessons I've learned that made me who I am right now, the experiences--where do they exist except in my memories? But our brains are so fragile that you can't even trust yourself to remember what you wrote down on a grocery list. Like what the fuck
ashley's mind: how much do you wanna make your viewers think about life?
ashley: yes.
Anika Patel love her for thatttt
So refreshing to see a RUclipsr who actually did college. Love these sit down talk videos
Beyoncé hey! Wasn’t there that Olivia girl with the famous mom who also did college........ oh wait.
@@millennialstray4215 the shade :')
Millennial Stray Olivia Jade more like Olivia shade
Jesus christ please do more of these videos this literally changed my perspective in life, im trying to reach for a unreachable milestone that at some point becomes death. im tired. im going to start to enjoy my everyday actions, even if they don't bring me success or money because in reality that is not equivalent to happiness, im tired of the perspective of people that i have to live up to because in reality life is just how we fucking perceive it and you are right, we are literally made up of our memories and nobody will fully understand us as how we really are, so if you are reading this. 1. start a fking diary to realize your own milestones in life and don't forget about them, because the more i think about it, those really bigggg milestones in my life, i tend to forget and then feel like i have donde nothing when in reality thats not true. 2. start doing what you love, because that will lead you to REAL happiness, not money or success, even though my father always said that having money is always important because in any health situation it could save you from death, in reality, when death comes, death comes, and you can't do nothing about it, ( one of my favorite quotes is; life is like a popsicle, if you enjoy it or not, it will still run out ) and I've also realized that i would prefer to live a short happy life than a long unhappy one (this is not literal but you get the point) and finally 3. REMEMBER that you don't have any real pressure to accomplish anything, this is mostly society wanting you to do something or put you in a label. you. are. free. use your freedom for your good and the good of others because i promise that will fill a hole in your heart you never knew you had so in conclusion; wanna sing? sing and make it a job (because you still need some money), wanna dance? dance and make it a job, wanna cook? cook and make it a job, wanna do math? do math and make it a job (you get the point). If you read until here i hope this helped you in some way i just got a random burst of inspiration and i had to write it down. btw this is now my fav channel:)
I know you wrote this a long time ago and you probably won't see this but thank you, just thank you for this.
Well said 👏 and I got the same things from this video
However I would add a point- we don't always have to turn what we 'love' into work. I think that's an illusion for many. If you love to sing- then sing! You don't have to be paid for it. You don't have to be a success in it. Just enjoy it.
Same for other hobbies, sometimes it's not realistic to make a living from it. So make a living however you need to to allow you to enjoy your hobbies. Stop letting your 'job' define you.
Work to live, not live to work 👌
Thank you so much for this!!!
Saya A thank you! I was about to comment that perhaps turning out hobbies into a career/job can be detrimental. We may end up hating our hobbies or change the way to do them for money’s sake. I never want that to happen. I want to do my hobbies bc I love the process and they make me feel good and happy. I’m sure there’s a balance but it is a challenge to find and maintain.
thank you so much for writing this :'))
“I have this weird thing, where throughout the entire week, I kinda feel like I don’t exists.”
That hit home.
And the memory part,
Hit home even harder.
Thank you, Ashley.
You keep making sense of my emotions. :)
**Existential crisis intensifies.**
James Charles: a thousand words per minute-
Ashley in this intro: hold my 21st birthday alcohol.
Me at the intro:
Well, that escalated quickly...
“I guess the main way I get joy in my life is just working myself so hard that I am proud that I’m exhausted and tired and that’s a big part of my identity.”
Is no one else concerned by these comments and similar made in other videos? Workaholism is a genuine and debilitating problem.
funkittensarefun I agree. I also think a separate form of workaholism mixed with burn-out and panic is rising to the top.. It’s feeling the stress and the workloads and wanting to get up the ladder and such but being so overwhelmed you don’t actually get to anything.
People always say that when robots take over our jobs, it’s over. But I only see oppertunity... to work less and be happier.
i agree, but i also feel like it depends. if you're doing something you're passionate about, a very essential part of job satisfaction is working hard for it and putting time into it. the workaholism that capitalism promotes is much more negative imo because you're made to want to work like cogs in a machine without the job satisfaction factor. maybe i'm wrong though, this is just what i feel.
Omg
Can we just appreciate how pretty and sun kissed you look.
yup, this video was literally about her look.
bro.. you should be like.. an author or an essayist
@@lolplayer4156 no need to mansplain my dude i knew that... also newsflash screenwriting =\= essay writing or fiction writing
"We have to work more to buy more things that we don't really want so we could feel some superficial level of status and achievement and pat ourselves on the back and say good job! You're working yourself to death!" -Ashley, 2019.
Yes.
That reminded me of fight club lol
OMG why I'm welling up a little bit seeing this reply!
Coming back to watching this about 1.5 years out from my graduation, and it's so relatable. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Ashley:)
You're so genuine. It's like we're having a conversation.
brah she has the same humor as my homies and i relate so much. WTF ❤️
eminem: **CREATES THE SONG RAP GOD**
ashley: "hold my existential crisis"
This should be pinned!!!
This should be pinned!!! (2)
The thing is, after graduation, you have to make your own milestones. They just never feel as big as your past milestones because nobody is celebrating it with you
this was so intimate, profound, and relatable. thanks for sharing it with the world.
"What if I could just be a '50s housewife" Literally me every time finals roll around!
Maliha Intikhab probably because caring for a husband and raising children is way more fulfilling than sitting in a classroom with people who don’t care about you in order to get a piece of paper that doesn’t even guarantee you a job
@@cynthiaromero4312lmao how about being able to learn as much about the world in a place where a lot of kids don't get the chance to even think about attending, being just as fulfilling
Tania P actually its a well known fact most college students suffer from depression Ashley herself openly talks about this and how lonely she felt during her time at school. Also the amount of debt accumulated from attending these colleges is just as depressing for a degree that will never actually make you any money. The 50s housewife is the ideal for women nurturing and caring for other comes naturally most couples married during that time are still together and have lived a fulfilling life
@@cynthiaromero4312 wow! How insightful !!! What's more interesting is that u didn't say that its more fulfilling for 'you', you just proclaimed that it is or at least should be for all women. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 let's undo the past half-decades of progress in women's right & get back to the 50s. Why not?!
@@cynthiaromero4312 & yes, the excessive stress in college can be a little depressive, but it also leads you to be self-independent. If u have a good marriage that's great, but I imagine that being trapped in an unloving marriage with no means to support urself properly will be equally depressing.
Ashley you just keep getting prettier in every video and I’m shook
evon yeah she’s so gorgeous it’s not fair lol 😭💗
omfg. I always thought about that “nobody knows the whole you” thing and didn’t know how to put it into words but I’m glad someone feels the same lol. I always think about it like no one will have the same experiences as me and no one will ever live the exact same life or have the same interactions with the same people if that makes sense? Life is just really weird man
Yes, and in people's minds they think of you as a one-dimensional version of yourself. People from your past remember a version that you used to be but aren't anymore, and that is the lasting imprint of you that they will carry forever. All of it trips me out.
Kelly J 😰 omg lol yes. So weird.
Coming here in my post grad life and its comforting to watch this video again and get it. Life is how we perceive it, and starting to enjoy life as it is is what really makes it living
You should definitely make more of these "what's on my mind" videos, cause this was pure fuego 🔥
Callie is a penguin yes, I agree!
reeeeeeeeed
Yes, please! ❤️
You should DEFINITELY start a PODCAST! 🤩
YES !!
tbh i get tired of youtubers with their podcasts but i’d listen to ashley no problem!
OMG YES
her voice is soothing
absolutely!
I just related to every. single. thing. you said. id love to see more of this!!
I second this!!
I remember that helpless feeling of “nobody truly understands who I am” and yeah, I get it. It’s so lonely :(
no body:
No one:
Literally no one:
Ashley: _*death* is a m ï ľ ə ś ť ø ň ę_🤩
“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
whats sad is that i think like her too :’(
Well that is true
I mean when you think of a tomb”stone”, there can be some connection
Death is 100% a milestone!
omg!! ashley should do a podcast just talking out loud all her thoughts. that is what I would listen to
I agree! I would listen to them during long car rides, lol.
Yesss or a vlog channel
i would watch the shit out of that
Y E S
Sameeee this is so relatable
"I'm just this little capsule of feelings and memories that nobody else can understand" thank you Ashley I love how you say things
okay, does anyone feel like ashley is actually seeing into your own brain?! literally the only truly relatable youtuber which is wild because her life is so different than mine (than most), but I still relate so much to all these thoughts.
“Memories aren’t even real so like.... who the fuck are we?” FELT THIS SO HARD
Loved this video 💕
wow that part about memory is exactly how i feel it's scary
watching this again after i have graduated as well and it hits the mark too good
I had to start seeing a therapist after I graduated. I didn't realize how good it was for me mentally to have a plan while in college. Having my semesters laid out and having small goals and big goals was like a manual for life.
Now that I graduated five years ago and I'm a professional now, I can tell you I am recreating that now. I'm creating small and large goals in my career. I do the same for my relationships (friendships, family, romantic... Etc). You'll figure it out, person who's reading this :)
this actually hit me so hard. you put something i’ve never really understood perfectly in words, ly ashley
Same
My thoughts exactly. Ashley, you blew my mind 😮
Ikk
"and a couple liberal jokes that people find really edgy" mOOd
"Throughout the week I honestly sometimes feel like I don't exist" holy shit that hit me hard
THESE ARE THE VIDEOS I LOVE FROM YOU. I LOVE HOW YOU THINK.
thank you for listening. sorry for yelling.
Ashley: *talks about life so deeply and amazingly*
Me: *pauses video and contemplates every decision I’ve ever made*
can we appreciate how the guy in the marriage doodle has david's hair
Finally someone said this😂
she even drew little birkenstocks for him 😭
It was obviously David, there were Birkenstock’s!! 😂
make a freaking videoessay. make a thousand. love that nuance and honesty
“I have this weird thing where throughout the week I honestly sometimes feel like I don’t exist? Sometimes my entire week I just spend alone with my camera, in my apartment, editing a video.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just pixels on a screen. The times that I feel the most alive and that I feel the most real is like that feeling of a summer night, meeting somebody new, or hanging out with your friends in high school, or being with somebody you love. You know those nights where time almost stops because you don’t care if you’re tired, and you don’t care if it’s like five am because you’re just, like, in the moment? That’s what life is.”
I love this so much. I always felt like I was the only person who felt this way, but it’s comforting to know that other people also romanticize life the same way while still trying to keep in mind the essential practicality of it all.
You could start journaling. It's a good way to keep your memories and also to put them into a perspective
maggithepink I’ve been journaling since I was 8 and I’m so happy I get to always have those writings to look back on now
@@popisdead6495 same. Its a rly good way to clear ur head too. More ppl should do it
i first watched this as a senior in hs and i just came back to watch it bc i graduate college. full circle moment 🥹
do you think you'll ever write screenplays or a book???? ID BUY IT SIS
YES
So this is the moment when you feel so grateful for RUclips existence because, otherwise, you could never talk or hear anything about this girl. I found this chanel last night and rather in the way i dress or what i think about life in general has changed even a bit bc of this 'meeting'.
I really got into every topic you discussed in the video :)
So coooooollllll
This actually made me cry because no one really gets how I feel I get called out for thinking the same way as you. So knowing someone understands like you really hits a personal side of me😢
Yeah me too😥
ur so good at communicating ur thoughts and feelings i think a therapist would be really helpful for u
oops didn't mean to dislike that!!! sorry!
I don’t get if this is an insult or just a random comment ;-;
it's definitely not an insult LMAO I love her!
I meant that some people take some time/practice to be able to put their thoughts together to talk to a therapist productively but Ashley is already so good at that
skye oh 😂 sorry I just have a lack of education about communication skills :P (I’m an introvert so I never understood what a therapist was for)
or shes really just oUr therapist
I like that you also talk about important and “real” stuff
Thank you
Relationship #3? I'm on #0.
Ashley: has a hard time taking rest
Me: has a hard time stopping my rest and working
you described the dating thing really, really well. love that metaphor.
yesss
I see a book in your future. The way you express your feelings is magic 💫
Justyna B. When she finally gets that book done,
Me: *Shut👏up👏 and👏 take👏 my 👏money!!!👏
I would pay whatever shipping cost and I'm from Spain.
yes!
"i'm just a capsule of feelings and memories that nobody else could understand"
GURL I needed this. Thank you for making this video
I wish I had a friend I could ramble on and on about these topics
Me too
same..
So let's talk girls, maybe we relieve each other's stress
then go find one. or talk to a therapist. or talk to a camera. you have a lot of options
Same here my friends always want to gossip or talk about dumb stuff and I get it like talking about that is fun but ALL THE TIME? I wanna talk about other things too and they just ignore me and go back to criticizing their ex’s new gf’s Instagram pictures 🙄
You’re literally my favorite RUclipsr. You’re so genuine, real, and well spoken. Love you Ashley!
Couldnt have said it better myself! You go Ashley! You say the things we are all thinking! Hope you find your happy!
yea agreee. so wise haha
This was such an honest video. I appreciated it!
Sabrina Arauz word
BRUH THE DETAIL. 1:00 the smiles until having kids lol.
This was actually really nice to hear. I feel like im not alone and these kind of thoughts are relatively normal ♥️ Please make more videos about your thoughts and views on life, love, happiness. It's actually really awesome! I also like your usual content but this was also really really nice.
"I feel like I'm just pixels on a screen"
Ashley are u ok
Nah I've felt all of those thoughts too. You're not alone.
She is.. she is alone. Just like everyone of us.. didn't you read the quote she mentioned.
"We live as we dream.. alone."
honestly, the highlight of my 2018 was finding Ashley's channel
Honestly yes
me: yes
Saaaaaaaaame
I really love how articulate you are. Soo hooked up in your story telling skills. Been binge watching your videos this week.
omg you literally put everything I've been thinking for the past year (which is when I graduated) into words so effortlessly. we're all in this existential crisis together girl ✌🏼
If RUclips and her degree ever fail Ashley could be a professional auctioneer
i laughed so hard
or like a life coach
your blush is on point today ashley. Its so cute. also this was like a convo with my best friend
Cici -
So you talk like a basic white girl to your friends? 😂
Kidding dude. Kidding.
This is SO relatable! You're not the only one having these thoughts Ashley!
I remember watching this video when it was uploaded and the thumbnail popped up on my notification and loving it. But watching this now, two years later, as a freshly graduated 22yo with existential crisis in the middle of a pandemic, I'm so thankful to Ashley for making this and being the best internet big sister. I hope you're doing good 🦋. Love you!
That existential crisis after graduating COLLEGE hit different 😭
your youtube vides are always like miniature movies 🙌🏼😩they're THAT well edited and filmed!!
not that i want you to have more existential crises to make more of these videos, i do really like this video. i haven't graduated yet, but i'm on track to graduate early too so the looming thoughts of working and being an adult kinda take over what should be my fun college years. so i 100% relate and am so grateful to have your personality and humor to make it less daunting as it seems. also, your section on memory was so so relatable and real and wow i never thought anyone else could put into words what i've been experiencing too. thanks so much. reina
this is so so relatable. i love how you don't shy away from showing us your frustrations too. it's nice knowing that no matter how alone we feel we are all in this together
Love how honest she is compared to other youtubers
Have you tried journalling? It helps calm a racing mind most of the time, and also helps with the memory thing!
Take care of yourself
I second this! There been many studies done showing how meaningful writing at the end of the day really improves your psyche
Quinn This is so true!! It’s very relaxing
YES YES YES journaling is amazing!! And drawing/coloring too!
I usually skip through these types of videos but Ashley is so great about explaining and exploring these types of topics that I watched through the whole video without skipping a thing. I surprisingly loved this video. Great Job BestDressed! Keep on doing what you are doing! We all love and support you so when you have those bad days just know that we are behind you 100%
My god Ashley u r soo young to have so much depth n sense of life!!! M blown away but also worried !!!
U r just so amazing, too good to be true, preserve urself, u r nothing like I have ever seen. I pray for u always.
Honestly this is the most relatable video I've seen. Full stop.
amen
Graduated three years ago, and this is still very real. Philosopher Dostoyevsky talked a lot about the constant of human suffering. That solving one problem only keeps us satisfied until the next problem arises. But that suffering is part of the human experience.
I also graduated around the same time (~3 1/2 years ago), and I definitely agree with that sentiment!
Great name, btw! 😜
gosh, you seem like an amazing person - I love the way you speak and the things you say!
you put my thoughts into words people can understand we love an eloquent queen
in the words of hannah montana: "life's what you make it, so let's make it rock."
Honestly, this whole time I thought it said "let's make it right." Thinking about it now that makes no sense but no doubt I will still say that every time
this was so comforting / scary / amazing to listen to. thank you ashley !!
can you PLEASE make more of these types of videos!!!!!! i love all ur other fashion videos and funny videos too but this video just showed such a different side of you and your mind is really fascinating and puts into words what i think so many other people are thinking so often
You are so relatable! It feels like you just put my thoughts and feelings into words. Like thinking those and feeling those doesn’t make sense most of the times and it’s like people won’t understand but this video is reassuring. Having thoughts about life, how we should live it, who we should live it with, AND BEING SCARED AND STRESSED AND EXCITED SOMETIMES IS NORMAL.
Keep going,girl! Life has a lot to offer! 😊
your doodles add so much to your videos and they're sooo cute ❤️❤️
Omg that doodle of david when she mentioned marriage (plus he is obviously wearing his birkenstocks) 1:02
lol, didn't even realize. good eye!
Your points starting at 6:18 are so relatable to me and I’ve honestly never heard someone else say that as clearly as I’ve been feeling it. Thank you and I totally understand!
I absolutely love your videos especially the chatty ones. It's so nice to see someone being so real, honest and authentic!
ashley's the only youtuber i don't put the video speed up to 1.5x
Y👏E👏S👏
Welp. This intro was so relatable lmao. It’s unreal. Goodnight. Rip our lives.
dude hOW is it possible that this was so relatable and not only to me but other people who viewed this (and commented), it doesn't physically change my routine of life but it just gave me a breath of fresh air and my perception has changed now (again! thank you!). it's kind of reassuring to know that other people are going through the same thing as me like when you mentioned feeling like you don't even exist I FELT THAT. like it actually got to a really bad point where i didn't even want to try to social with others and i stayed in my room and just hustled on the homework and essays and shit that i needed to get through and that was my only satisfaction - that i had made a really good effort to finish all the things i needed to finish, by the deadline. and a few weeks ago i actually started feeling like i wasn't existing..? almost like i was out of my own body at times.. and i found out that it was the result of anxiety and sensitivity to socialising with real life people and not wanting to push myself to socialise since i didn't have 'milestones' in my life and started feeling confused and lost and just put myself in a box, alone, for such a long time. these recent weeks i've pushed myself to talk to someone or not walk into a room and put myself in the corner far from everyone else to avoid talking to them and it's really helped and i'm just so glad that videos that posted like this one really opened my eyes. my life has taken on a new meaning/chapter
I honestly love all your videos and I think I always will for your willingness to be real and genuine. Even if you aren't satisfied with the routine of your videos/video style rn, know that there will always be people to support you no matter what direction you decide to take your life in.
I've literally had so many of these thoughts recently as well, so it's great that I'm not crazy 🙃
The dating thing really resonated with me. I've always wondered if I was a sociopath or something for thinking that way.
Thank you for making this. You have perfectly summed up my thoughts on post college life. I am struggling so hard right now with change and that next milestone. It’s really hard. No one prepares you for that. So thank you. Please do more on this, it’s so helpful for people to see the after of college and how to deal.
Thanks so much for this.It was nice to hear someone else voicing my own concerns out loud