Somthing as small as “or she/her when they/them is linguistically awkward” just hit me so hard because that’s how I feel about he/him. I prefer it when it’s difficult/awkward/unsafe. Anyway that’s not related to the video but it struck me and so far I’m liking this a lot too
Thanks! I'm glad someone can relate to that. I've always felt like my gender identity was pretty fluid and dependent on context. Like when I'm around friends, I pretty much don't care what pronouns they use because I know that they know me well enough that I don't need to worry about them seeing me a different way than I see myself. What I've more recently realized is that I basically want to be considered as feminine as I can pass for. So online, I perfer she/her because I can control how my avatar looks and I can make my voice seem a bit more feminine. But offline, I know that I look like a guy so I feel wierd asking people to use she/her and they/them is still validating so it's not a big deal. Maybe that's a hurdle I should work to get around but right now I'm basically just experimenting to see how I can look more feminine so that I won't feel wierd asking people to call me she/her.
Same! In my native language literally EVERYTHING is grammatically gendered as either male or female, so I just go with the equivalent of She/Her. In English I'm They/Them tho
I love these kinds of discussions because I identify as a woman but not that strongly, so I get to see both sides. There are some moments when I feel happy when people view me as a woman. This toolkit of how to interact with me based on the knowledge of "women" comes in handy lots of times. But then again there are those times when I'm like "Just no. Don't- okay look I'm just a person. Keep it as neutral as possible, thx". And I am not even trying to stir any discussion about sexism I just mean respectful interactions.
I honestly feel the exact same, people find so many ways to assign things to different genders, I want to be me, undecided, unconfined. I just want to be me and have people not immediately make assumptions JUST based on my gender. The confinement that is gender is something I feel I do not fully fit into. I'd rather be seen as me, and nothing more or less.
When Momoe first apeared i assumed she would be a trans man, but she kept afirming her feminility and I went "oh well, missed opportunity I guess", and for some dumb reason, I never pondered if she was a trans woman ????????
@@ZeroTwo-ir5th The character isn't trans tho. People in this show are considered by the magic bullshit to be the gender their were given at birth, this is why a trans boy was able to be "saved" in the show despite being a boy (only girls can be saved) , and why Momoe has to be a girl
@@StailsArte what? I mean, the show had some major issues with randomly invalidating a trans man and then using his trauma for someone else's arch but, momoe was 100% trans. I just headcannon that the akkas are the actual villains and then most of the show makes sense. Since then the sexist way suicide is portrayed as "emotional for girls" can be lumped under them being delusional. Also, it makes their backstory with Frill way more interesting because it questions whether frill actually did anything at all or if they're just terrible people that lead one of them's wife and one of their daughters to suicide and then blamed it on the other daughter to not have to process it themselves. Then it explains why frill created those, things. She needed something to help escape the akka's because they were (cannon) physically abuse and probably going to kill her and she made whatever she could asap to help her escape. Bla bla bla etc Then you end up with Frill trying to stop her creations, the akkas, and the girls working for them and it would be way more interesting than the ending they went for.
17:33 There is a video by [Edit: Known Plagiarist] James Somerton on “Yuri on Ice” about nuance and subtlety, and how American cinema has an audience that will openly talk during a movie, meaning that it has to make the quiet part LOUD. But French/Japanese cinema is a space that mandates silence and focus, rewarding audiences with nuance and subtlety. [Edit: Which would be a great point, if only we knew the source. I look forward to a video by @hbomberguy detailing who these ideas were stolen from]
It is absolutely not common for the audience to openly talk during a movie in America, it is seen as incredibly rude and is heavily discouraged (with occasional exceptions depending of the movie in question)
@@saudade7842 It's rude but still commonplace enough that we need messages before the start of films for it. The main problem is if something's getting boring, people tend to chat or listen to others chat because it's more engaging than whatever is happening on screen. (Doesn't mean it's more entertaining or that the film isn't good, it's just more engaging and patience has been tried.)
9:25 "let's fast-forward to the far-off year of 2020. I just finished junior year of high-school-" and at this point I have to pause the video, take a breath, walk to my window and stare at the horizon while I contemplate the fact that kids who were in highschool in 2020 are now making video-essays. My back hurts all of a sudden. Jokes aside, great video!! ♥️ Both the video and people telling their stories here in the comment section are making me emotional lol
Ikr! This is like, the best comment section on my channel. Also, thanks for the compliments! I've been making video essays since before 2020 If you can believe it (not that they were any good lol)
@@Krossxc holy shit!! Congrats, it takes a lot of discipline (along with talent, of course) to make a video-essay. The fact that you started so early just shows how talented and passionate you are! Keep up the good work 😊 (I'm planning on watching the video about intergenerational trauma and Disney but I just know I'll be a crying mess lol so I'm preparing myself™)
It is nice to see more people making themselves more visible in the world. And on that subject. Hi my gender is Genderfae which is basically Genderfluid but restricted to the genders outside the male/man/masculine spectrum. So I am basically a nonbinary transwomen.
there is a large need of more queer people talking about queer (and especially gender) related topics in the anime genre. it's way too overwhelmed by bigots who are mostly just adults or teens who never got taught a different perspective and seeing videos like this and reading the comments on how people learn more about their identity or simply learn more in order to be more open minded and accepting genuinely is the best feeling ever so thank you
I understand but also manga and anime is more inclusive than the country it originated from. From what I have seen on the topic the people who make manga or anime are creating media that within their own nation is consider either subversive or even counterculture. I don't know entirely some anime's do it better than others or they gay or trans gender charectors and either it is a little side topic steins gate and going through time gender changing or the one with the prisoners who try to escape each day one of the wardens has a sibling that dresses really feminitly and the group has a crush but they find out and most owe ok but one is like I will try and there is a little conversation about being bi. The second example i butchered sorry it is either less bad or more no clue. There are well writen LGBTQ+ charectors in anime and manga it is mostly coming from people who know more. I will say that luffy from one peice is ace and honestly a lot of charectors are not directly stated or it is simple implied. I am curious what anime's you watch honestly I have seen some LGBTQ+ friendly or inclusive anime's. I would like to discuss the topic more. I do hope we will see more LGBTQ+ people in anime but not as a thrown in for spice or stereotyped way.
Crona is great because they essentially provide fluid representation. It's difficult for me sometimes to explain what I mean by "Third Gender" because I don't fit into any traditional cultural Third Gender roles, nor do I fit into modern Trans paradigms. But it's easy for me to point at a character like Crona (or Astolfo) and just say, "like this", and I can do so without feeling like I'm taking representation from others by trying to "claim" a character for my own selfish validation or anything.
Crona’s gender is intentionally never mentioned or stated, while “nonbinary” and “genderfluid” are labels expressly used by people as self-identification. Conflating “gender-ambiguous” or “androgynous” with “nonbinary” or “genderfluid” is prejudiced.
@@cmyk8964 It wasn't my intention to conflate anything, sorry if my language wasn't clear enough. I simply meant that I identify with Crona, not that the character bears any labels I've taken to using to describe myself to others.
Would you mind explaining further oh your perspective on 3rd gender? Do you identify as 3rd gender? I ask as a nonbinary person who also doesn't fit within existing definitions
Seeing all these new characters in media while questioning myself is so confusing because people see me as a girl, I don't know what I see myself as? Sometimes I'm comfortable being addressed as a girl, sometimes as a guy, but I don't feel like I'm either or any? I wonder if I'll ever be able to answer all my own questions.
You might have the borderline personality. Borderline people have no identity of any kind, therefore no gender. This is exactly why borderline people are the perfect actors because they literally don't act they become the characters.
I don't wanan force any labels onto you but if you're still questioning maybe you should look into demi genders? Demigenders (like demigirl, demiboy, demigender and others) are a type of gender that can be explainined as : feelings disconnected to one's gender without feelings totally different from said gender. You might also search genders ending in -fluid or in -flux because those identities refer to changing feelings surrounding gender.
I feel the exact same! I am replying like 9 months too late though I feel like I should tell you about my experience, if it helps. Personally, I’ve debated being a demiboy or bigender, though they don’t feel correct. I kind of found that Id like to be female (for now, at least) and just dress or look male. I look too female for that to ever happen, but hey, maybe it will. Depending on who or what I’m around I feel more male or female, I’ve decided on going by she/he, I feel that finding your pronouns really helps and is a great first step. It kind of all started by me imagining myself as male, I can’t get that out of my head, Im obsessed.. I wish I was born male most of the time. Does that make me transgender if I would be perfectly okay being a guy? Maybe, maybe not. Sorry for writing so much lol
Aye, I know I'm nine months late, but I used to feel similarly, to the second half at least. I remember as a kid - especially when puberty became a thing - I had thoughts here and there. ''wouldnt it be cool if you could be neither male nor female. Like, not _inbetween,_ but _neither._'' I remember distinctly, as a kid, telling a relative of mine "I don't like being a girl.'' They asked me if I wanted to be a boy instead, and I thought about it. I imagined what that would be like, what having a male body would be like, and I said ''no, being a boy also sounds dumb'' Of course, there was no conversation after this. I don't think the person I was talking to even knew what 'nonbinary' is, or anything of that sort, nor would they assume a child perceived as just ''a tomboy'' would be that. Fast forward to now, and I've been identifying as Agender for the past... it ought to be around three or four years now? feels longer, to be honest. I tried changing my pronouns to they/them and it has sort of stuck - though nowadays, I certainly am not bothered by the occasional ''he'', either. Thing is, I'm German. I don't live in an english speaking country, and while grammatical gender isn't usually linked to actual gender or sex _(a girl isn't neutral after all, nor is a coffee a he or a cherry a she),_ pronouns based off of it certainly are. German does not have any good options for neutral pronouns and to me, most neopronouns that aren't the german equivalent of ''it'' sound clunky and don't really work all that well in the language - wheras ''it'', to me, simply sounds far too dehumanizing to be comfortable. Fortunately, as I mentioned, I'm decently comfortable with masculine pronouns, so I have opted to go with he/him _(er/ihn/sein)_ for my german pronouns. I used to think I was at least okay with she/her, too, but the more I was able to get people to call me my preferred pronouns, the worse I started to feel when I heard my old set of pronouns. I currently present fairly masculine, however I'm quite certain that will change in the future, whenever I've had top surgery. I have pretty bad bodily dysphoria, so I sort of ''counteract'' my AFAB body by expressing very masc, but once I have the relief of being able to alleviate my dysphoria via the surgery I know I will be much freer in how I can dress without my dysphoria getting in the way. I feel like for somebody who isn't binary trans, my journey in regards to what my gender is has been much more straight-forward _(hehe)_ than that of many other trans folks. I had assumed I was simply a tomboy only because I had been told so, but as soon as I heard the term nonbinary, as soon as it was explained to me, something within me just clicked. I was in denial for a while, but something in me just kept bringing my attention back to the concept, and eventually I did come to terms with it. Once I had accepted myself for who I was, I identified briefly as just nonbinary, then added or changed it to the more specific term of Agender, and I've just been identifying as that ever-since. I don't really know why I'm writing this, I just sort of saw everyone sharing how they feel and thought I'd add to it. Oh and, as someone who is Agender, of course what label is right for you is something only you can figure out, but hearing you say ''I don't feel like I'm either or any'', have you looked into Agender and similar gender identities? I know it's been months so, maybe you've already figured out whatever label you feel comfortable with, but just in case I thought that might interest you.
As a kid I watched cartoons, but anime, but I think I started with Lilo and Stitch the series. Plekley was cool to me, and I liked that he wore dresses and skirts, and then I found Mulan, and I wanted to dress masc even if I didn’t realize it, I didn’t want To just be a princess in waiting, I wanted to be the hero, and as I grew up that scared me cause I was told my whole life that I had to act and look in a certain way that matched the female sex, it wasn’t until recently that I met non-binary people when I was outside my home town, and I got on the internet and began seeing the community for the first time that I realized I had a choice on how I wanted to present myself! Now I’m a masc representing agender individual and I’m so much happier for it, because even if my family doesn’t accept my identity I’ve finally learned to accept myself and not constantly fight against myself to force myself I’m the female box. Anyway if anyone reads to the end of this then this is just my personal story, I hope you have a great day, if you’re binding or tucking then please do so safely and I hope you have a great day!
Kross, thank you so much for making this video. As someone who is currently questioning their gender identity, hearing about your experiences has really helped me understand more about myself. There are some things you mentioned that I can really relate to. The segment on Crona in particular made me think about the ways gender influences our perception of ourselves and of other people, and your thoughts about Momoe were impactful as well. The description you gave of your experience with gender dysphoria was relatable and very validating for me. Knowing that there is someone who feels the way I do, at least in some respects, is very comforting. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but you are a fantastic creator, and I'm so happy I found your channel. You're the best and I hope college goes well for you this year. Edit from the future: Since I made this comment, I've come to the conclusion that I'm cis. Still, I'm so glad I saw this video. It helped me learn a lot about myself and people who are trans. Sending all the love and support to everyone who is still figuring themselves out. It's so great to see such a positive community in the comments.
Momoe is a gender-validating character to me, even though I see her as a cis female (she is heavily hinted to have relations with being transgender, but never a confirmed part of the anime). I am a cis female, I am not sure if I am gender fluid but my gender identity is not always female. I studied in all-girl schools, and saw multiple schoolmates grew up into androgynous people. I don't know what gender they identify themselves as, but their roles in our school were the "tomboy", the "lesbian", the "brat" or etc. Some of my other schoolmates were just girls who looks boyish, some of them took up a more masculine role despite having a feminine appearance. Momoe is as complex as my real life schoolmates even if she is not trans. To me, she is a cis girl who sometimes decides to act in masculine ways, yet deeply identify as a girl and wants her gender to be affirmed. She explores her gender and relationships with other genders and finds her unique answers, regardless of what her biological gender is or how/if it changed.
I actually never seen a queer (positively or normally represented) character in our television in my whole childhood because of my country being biased, the closest I've got it technically Sailor Uranus (which I had a crush on back then as well-) but I mostly resonate with soft and feminine character, which makes me question my identity even more, I didn't want to be called feminine but I just mostly let people call me that since that's all they can see in me, it's not like I wanted to be called masculine either. I soon knew RUclips and it changed the living life out of me, it soon made me realized that I like to style myself in androgynous clothing while also accepting that I like both feminine and masculine clothing to express myself. I still couldn't specify my gender yet, maybe I might soon.
Chrona was also my first real introduction to androgeny, and I realize now as an adult that so much of my childhood where i was forced to be feminine through my private school and church upbringing was plagued with the desire to be seen as more masculine so that no one could tell what I was. In my own gender journey I usually go by he/him and I'm leaning into the masculine to make up for lost time. However, I feel that its not the end game, and as I do often wish for a more masculine appearance, I do sometimes still desire to be seen as feminine, or at the very least androgynous. Chrona was the beginning of it.
I have known that there were people that existed that had a gender identity different from their sex assigned at birth for years because of the political debates that ensued over the past few years over it. This is the first piece of content that I have seen that actually recounts the story of someone who is genderfluid (for lack of better terms). Although I am a cisgender male, I think it has helped me understand the topic a lot better. I think one thing that really stood out was your flippant acceptance of the value of gender roles and the role that they played in evaluating your personality and identity. I feel like these are the sort of points that I linger in my mind from pearl-clutching conservatives, even though I knew that they were wrong. It really helped me better contextualize gender. Thank you.
Hearing the part about not being dissatisfied with your body but how people perceive you based on it was really nice to hear. I have recently figured out that a lot of my social frustration stems from people assuming I’m far more masculine than I am.
I used to experience some mild dysphoria about my gender when I was younger. I ended up coming to terms with my masculine identity because I found a lot of my feelings stemmed from a deep discomfort for traditional masculinity. I've come to realize that I can shape the definition of masculinity into whatever suits my perfeption and I could also accept my feminine tendencies as they are. I am a man, but I don't often identify with other men. This used to make me feel profoundly lonely and like less of a person because I didn't fit into the masculine mold my peers did. I've found peace within myself and a lot of it came through anime. If you ever can, watch Natsume Yuujinchou. The main character, Natsume Takashi, has been really powerful for me on this front. He exhibits a lot of feminine traits, but he is more of a "man" than most other people I've met. Emotional intelligence, kindness, and an eagerness to help those in need are all manly traits I choose to identify with. I figure as long as society puts me in a box I can still do what I can to peel off the labels and make my existence my own. Great video!!
i love natsume yuujinchou so much. personally, i relate to him because i see the experience of living with a mental illness/disability and learning to deal with it and heal from trauma in his story. the beautiful thing about it is that everyone can have their own interpretations and draw strength from natsume. i also love that you've embraced your gender and your feminine traits. i think its definitely something a lot of men struggle with due to the culture around being male. personally, i'm trans and although im afab i still love feminine things. for me, the difference is that even though i acknowledge that women can be masculine and powerful it just doesn't feel right to call myself a woman. i have tried many times, thinking that "maybe this time will be different. maybe i was just going about it wrong," but i never realy stop feeling like it is not ME. it really just feels like it's wrong to call myself a woman. i also feel uncomfortable about traditional masculinity and can't ever see myself being that. however, i can see myself as and want to be a "feminine" man. gender is a very complicated thing and i don't think you ever realy stop learning about yourself. it's interesting how different people's journeys can be. i'm definitely still figuring things out.
15:01 That message on screen. That is the best description I have ever seen for how I feel. I always thought I just had mild dysphoria, especially considering I'd have days where I felt more confident in my identity, and day where I didn't, which reflected what I wore. Sometimes I'll wear my binder for a few hours on a day where I literally don't leave the house at all. But that description fits how I usually feel perfectly. My inner voice just happens to be someone who perceives me like society does, so I feel like I have to do it some days. But things like I feel most comfortable when wearing my binder or no binding at all, as most other kinds of binding just reminds me too much of the fact that I don't have the chest I want to have. And like- I only want top surgery, nothing else. Like, maybe a voice change to make me sound more androgynes, and broder shoulders, but otherwise, I don't want to change much. But at the same time, I don't feel like me. I love how I look (other than the things I just mentioned), but I look in the mirror and see a person, not someone I can connect to me. It's weird and I don't know what the frick to do and it's hard, annoying, frustrating, and a whole shebang of other things to describe my emotions. Note: I have XX chromosomes, but currently identify as genderqueer, and use any pronouns other than she/her (mainly He/Him tho, because it's easier for the people around me). I have long hair, and love more effeminate clothing, but don't really wear said clothing because it causes people to assume my pronouns to be the only ones I don't want to be used. Society/gender norms suckkkk
_This_ _Very much this_ I have very many thoughts about this but no idea how to put it into words-.. Which sucks because i kinda really wanna talk about it.. but yeah Its just like.. if i dressed like completely myself i would be percieved less accurately.. its annoying... Its like.. to me im everything and nothing (in pretty much anything i can think of) but if i did that it would make me (be percieved as) some _one_ thing and thats just not.. it ig (And about the everything and nothing bit i feel like my brain might just be kinda messed up but i have absolutely no idea what it could be so im just vibing with that rn) It does get frustrating
I love Wonder Egg Priority, but I never know that Momoe was trans. I just thought that she was a cis-gender girl that look more masculine. But yeah with what you said, it make total sense especially with the episode 9 and her interaction with the transboy. Also, wonderful video.
No she is cis, she wears the sailor uniform and japanese schools are very strict. She'd be shown wearing gakuran instead if the idea was she was assigned male at birth. She is cis who people think is a boy because of her masculine appearance but this makes her able to relate to the trans boy as japanese society disregards their inner feelings in a similar way.
@@kit76149 In the 15th minute of episode 4 the monster said 'this is a women-only train car and I will tear your trousers and cut your p***s off', and she used 僕, the male version of 'I' in Japanese, when responding to the monster. This is interesting. But anyway, trans women are women, and even if Momoe is cis, she's still relatable by trans women for being constantly misgendered and suffered trauma for that.
I honestly dont know what to say besides how beautiful this video is. As a nonbinary person whos favorite anime is wonder egg, i feel like people dont talk about momoe enough, shes literally amazing omg
that's it. im getting back into anime. eva and soul eater have been on my to watch list for far too long and wonder egg sounds lovely /gen also that closeted kid I used to be (and occasionally still find in me) is feeling really called out with fruits basket /nm /t. Kino's Journey was my entry to being subconsciously aware of gender identity and marked the start of my departure from gender roles, and enforcing them upon myself, as a whole. this queer trans individual salutes yee
the way you described your current gender identity felt like it hit ridiculously close to home. i do not call myself gender fluid or anything that concrete, but when i watch shows i tend to subconsciously try to relate to the female characters over the male ones, i am generally unhappy with my broader masculine physique (yet am not constantly, nor excessively, bothered by this) i have, to another person, stated that my "optimal" body would be androgynous, i have attempted to create feminine mannerisms in my daily life... to varying success, and have practiced a feminine voice for so many years that i could hold a conversation with myself using my "masculine" and "feminine" voices to such a degree that another person wouldn't be able to tell they were both me. (though this has led to most people in my life knowing the voice as a "Joke" or as "creepy" to a few) and yet, despite all this..... i am too afraid to ACTUALLY, call myself anything but a "male"... because i don't believe i.... qualify? i don't know the best way to describe it... like i don't deserve to call myself anything else...? but then i guess the fact that i believe its something good enough to need to be "deserved" shows.... something.... so sorry for the long rant, as can be clearly seen, i have not figured myself out yet, and i found writing this comment a good way to sort out a couple things.
Oh I know the feeling very, very well. I'm sure you expected to hear this, but it's true: you don't need to pass some test to be trans or queer or whatever. It's something you decide for yourself. Still, I know how difficult it can be to actualize that decision in your day to day life. Lot's of hope you'll be able to figure things out!
Also something that may help you, is that even cis people experience dysphoria. Not exactly like trans people, but being dissatisfied/uncomfortable with certain physical aspects of themselves. It's something that everyone can experience from time to time.
It does sound like "wonder egg" handled its trans character well! One that is a little more mixed but did something similar is "heaven's design team". Among the cast of creature creators is Venus, who I'm pretty sure the audience is immediately supposed to recognize as a trans woman because her design uses certain anime tropes (she has no boobs and a very dramatic personality, for instance). Which...your mileage may vary on, BUT the thing I thought was neat is that none of the rest of the cast EVER remark on this. They always just refer to Venus as "she" and, when the team goes to a resort, the other women are totally cool with her being in the ladies' side of the hot spring. This caused some commenters on crunchy roll to be very confused/lose their minds, requiring other commenters to have to explain the whole situation: "Of course the girls are fine with it. They've been thinking of her as a woman the entire time! What's YOUR problem?"
Has everyone forgotten about Kaoru Kurita - the guy that ended up in the afterlife that's later described as girls only on account of Frill leading girls to suicide "because they are more emotional" - and thus implying that his mind is of a girl eventhough he's clearly and unambiguously a trans man. That seemed kinda jarring to me when I connected the dots.
@@KarolOfGutovoI have noticed that depictions of transmen in anime tend to fall down this path. I'm currently watching the latest One Piece arc with two trans characters in it and while the transwoman character is handled really well (in stark contrast to earlier arcs), the transman character still very much presents femme and often gets referred as a woman in side material. Really happy for the better transwoman depictions but we're really struggling on the transman side of things
Not even half way throught this and I gotta say... It makes me feel so comfortable about my gender. I always have doubts and thinking Im going through a phase... But I think you truly described my own trans journey as well. I also first watched Fruits Baskets as well as Soul Eater and Crona being who I adored the most.
For me personally, I connected most with the goofy male protagonists or the introverted side male character. This always confused me when I was little because I hadn’t yet realized I was a trans man. The only female characters I ever connected with were ones commonly headcanoned as trans masculine by the fanbase. And without these shows as a kid which I connected with I don’t think I would have realized I was trans as early as I did.
That’s because of a lack of variety in female representation in media. Not because you’re actually male. Thinking you’re male because you don’t fit the patriarchy’s view of female literally is just reinforcing patriarchy and heteronormativity.
It’s funny because Soul Eater was a huge part of my life and gender identity journey, mainly with Soul and Crona. It was way before I realized I was trans but I got major gender feelings from both of the characters, just in different ways as a non binary trans guy. Actually even Fruits Basket, as I read at an even younger age than when I got into Soul Eater, played a part in my gender journey mainly with Kyo as I really related to him in many ways. Also I watched Evangelion at a pivotal point in my life where I was very depressed and going through gender stuff. Watching the end of it, I was with my brother out in a cabin with my family in the middle of nowhere and it sent me into a spiral until the early hours of the morning because of how much I related to Shinji. It really made me realize important things about myself and really woke me up from shit I was going through due to trauma and mental illness stuff. Anywho, long ramble over, hope you have a good time at college!
For me it was ghost in the shell, having birth issues the thought of a prosthetic body and fixing whats wrong with me was cool, then my thoughts went to, "I could be a girl too". But then that got repressed by family, and now I'm 31 hoping I can find some sort of happiness... the journey begins.
Crona’s gender is intentionally never mentioned or stated, while “nonbinary” and “genderfluid” are labels expressly used by people as self-identification. Conflating “gender-ambiguous” or “androgynous” with “nonbinary” or “genderfluid” is prejudiced.
This is an INCREDIBLY helpful video. As someone currently questioning my gender, the combination of my relatability to you through anime and the statements and thoughts you explain really resonate with myself. It feels a little unknown, but it feels right. It's hard to strip away rigid social categories and express yourself freely with loosing some people you like or love. I also don't know where I'll go, but I'm still trying to go out of my comfort zone, if just once, and present myself as more feminine, but having people in my own home weighing me down is really difficult.
I want to leave a comment here as well, because I have been living under the demi-fluid/fluidflux label for a little while now and what you said at 14:37 literally hit me so hard. I barely know any creator or other that has a similar identity or experience and just knowing that there is someone feeling the literal same way makes me kinda emotional rn (in an overly positive way!) :') Thank you so much for making that video, really It really made my day :3
This video has given me a lot to think about. Thank you for that. I've struggled to feel comfortable with myself for a very long time, and now I think I understand why a little better. I won't go into details, but I just wanted you to know that this video has helped me a lot.
This was such a great video. Remarkable. I think you explaining how you view yourself through the lens of anime has really made me understand gender identity and the complexity others feel. We live in such a strict binary world, I think it really is challenging for non-queer people ( and even some queers) to understand what gender truly means and how everyone human is allowed their own form of expression. This video reminded me I still have a lot of learning to do even as a gay man but it has really opened my eyes. Loved this one! Truly beautiful. Also we're the same age so I've loved watching you grow this whole time I've been subscribed to you and I hope your college experience is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing with us!💙💜💕
Thanks. It's always gratifying to hear that people are getting something meaningful out of my videos. And while I agree that our world is far from perfect in terms of queer acceptance, I do think we're moving in the right direction.
I dunno if you’ll see this, but thanks for making this. Watching this made me feel a bit more comfortable about my gender niche (or at least the one I aspire to be), which is very appreciated. The message at the end of “I don’t know if my identity will change, but that’s okay and I can’t wait to find out” at the end also meant a lot to me. I hope you’ve been doing okay since you posted this. This is one of my favorite video essays, so thanks for creating it and putting it out there. 🙏
Oh I can absolutely relate to your experience, especially with what you said about wanting to look like virtually every character you've seen in anime lol. Coming at it from the other end (I'm somewhere along the lines of trans masc, not sure where exactly /shrug) I can definitely relate a lot!! And anime is definitely a cool medium for helping people figure out that like, hey, sometimes you want to be perceived one way and you have to fight for that! Honestly sports anime tend to be my guilty pleasure in terms of that theme-- because so often they're about a character rising above what everyone else thinks of them, and I can super super heavily relate to that. Good luck with college btw!! I'm also moving out soon so I can relate to all that mess but also the excitement of getting to explore different ways of presenting yourself in a new place. I hope you have fun with it and find a way to present that makes you happy!! :D
Strangely enough for me it's the opposite, I always found it weird that I couldn't find myself in any of the character's, didn't really relate or want to look like them either, I thought they looked cool, but I never saw it as anything other than outside my self and outside possibility. Also transmasc btw. If anything it's not the look but the what. Like when tensei shitara slime datta ken my body envy had never been greater, god I wished I could be a slime blob with the ability to simulate a mostly humanlike body in any apparent sex I wanted. Oh and there's this youkai in nurarihyon no mago season 2 that was female at night and male at day (sex-wise) and damn did I want that as well at one point. But never related to stories or arcs of anyone, idk why
I can not understate how much I love Wonder Egg and Momoe. I’m non binary and trans fem and you’ve really did a good job verbalizing my thoughts on the story and her character. From not being 100% sure on who exactly she is as a character to the struggles and validation she is giving through the show. I’ve never connected to a character so much before and I’m so happy to see her (and land of the Lustrous) get so much love, especially through a queer lens.
looking back on it so many shows have influenced me and the way I present myself. Fruits basket is one of my favorite shows. I love both the original and the reboot. Yuki was always my favorite he still is, I recognize with him for some reason. Just seeing him being shown as this kid who is strong but shows emotions and can be feminine. It's the same with Kanji from Persona 4. Seeing this strong delinquent kid be able to have traditionally feminine interests and crush on Naoto before knowing she was a girl later accepting it as a part of himself was huge for me. Naoto looking back was similar. She obviously isn't done the best but she helped me see that I could present myself as masculine. Quarantine has made me see everything about myself differently. I've accepted who I am. Without these characters (and many more I can't think of) I can look back on, it would have taken so much longer to be comfortable without who I am.
Hey! You took the words out of my mouth. I really relate to your perspective on gender, I might also be gender fluid apparently? Thanks! This video is cool and you now have a new subscriber
There's times I wish I was born in Gen Z. You're going to get to enjoy your transness more fully than a millennial like me, who only had the guts to start really exploring it the last few months at 32 - and that's all partly because of the safe spaces Gen Zers have helped created online. Can't wait to check out Wonder Egg, thank you for sharing.
Likewise but I feel like I wish I had the education that we do now about gender. I consider myself a trans man but I feel like I would have came to this conclusion sooner if I knew about gender that I do now.
It isn't as forward in the anime as it is in the manga, but exploring queer gender identity and expression is absolutely one of the central themes of Land of the Lustrous. Usage of pronouns in certain contexts, drawing the same character in a variety of more stereotypically masc/femme ways. Struggling with identity and social purpose and how those things relate. (Plus the author has said so explicitly.) If you'd like, I did one video about gender in LotL a few years back, and I also used the themes of gender in that show to help discuss the themes of a recent story quest in the game warframe.
First few seconds and I'm already hooked. Your description of your gender is almost exactly like how I feel about mine, except I use he/him when they/them isn't legally convenient. I've been looking for more anime and manga through which to explore my gender, so I'm incredibly excited for this video! Okay, everything up until Soul Eater is my experience too. Had one ex show me Fruits Basket, had the same experience with it, and then same with Ouran High School Host Club. I'm definitely going to watch most of the rest of these some day, but I'll start with Soul Eater. Mostly for Crona. Amazing video, I love your style and personality! Can't wait to look through the rest of your videos!
"2020" "just finished up my junior year of high school" let me tell you this was a SUCKER PUNCH like you're actually around MY age how do i keep forgetting that im not a literal child and people my age aren't either
Crona definitely had the same effect on me when I was a kid. I am a demiboy and they were one of the first characters that I consciously had gender envy for. I also related to them because of my issues with mental health and trauma. They are still to this day one of my favorite anime characters. Grell from Black Butler also struck a chord with me growing up due to her constantly being misgendered and her struggles throughout the series.
Ooof yeah that was the one thing about Black Butler that caused me a lot of pain when I watched it, and I wasn't even out as trans to myself at the time.
This was wonderful! I'm glad that you can find yourself in the stories being told in media. That's what art is supposed to do, regardless of when you find it in your life. It's a small pool of stories, granted, but the heart that bleeds through these pieces speaks volumes about the creators and teams that make them.
Lately I've been having a bit of a gender crisis, and I'm leaning towards the thought of being non binary. There's something so satisfactory and validating about seeing those identities (I'm bisexual) on screen portrayed properly. I'm new to anime, and I had a break of a long time, but the last few months I've seen 2 queer anime, and although they were not great, it made me excited. I will definitely check out these anime, especially the one with the trans girl (forgot the name sorry). Thanks for sharing and inspiring
While I definitely think androgynous characters in anime, and especially femboys and characters whose gender ambiguity was either a running gag or an intentional secret, definitely influenced the way I view gender and my personal identity (currently identifying as agender), I know the exact moment it clicked for me that I might be nonbinary was when I watched Hoshiai no Sora. It seems to be just a typical sports anime on the surface, just a bunch of boys playing tennis, but in reality this show is more about coping with trauma and abuse, along with themes of found family. Basically, the plot is about this kid Maki who moved back to his childhood neighborhood and reunites with a childhood friend Touma as a classmate. There's also Maki's new neighbor Mitsue, also in their class, and Yuuta, Touma's friend and classmate. Touma is the captain of the boys' soft tennis club, which is notorious in their school for being a club full of lazy guys who can barely play the sport. With the club being threatened to shut down and no first years wanting to join this failing club, Touma's only hope was Maki, who wasn't in any club and had amazing reflexes. Maki initially says no, but Touma bribes him with money to join, since Maki comes from a financially unstable home and needs any extra money he could get. From there, the show goes back and forth between fun tennis shenanigans and personal drama including primarily child abuse, but also bullying, bad coping mechanisms and homophobia, all the while the club serves as an escape for these damaged kids who grow and develop with their club after Maki joined. Which leads me to episode 8. Due to not so relevant context, Maki and Yuuta have to dress up as girls, and Yuuta brings his sisters' clothes and even does the makeup. While changing and applying makeup, Yuuta asks Maki if it's weird he knows how to do something girly like makeup. Maki, who is absurdly observant, decides to tell Yuuta about his mom's trans friend, and how he was basically more of a father figure to him than the piece of shit sperm donor calling himself Maki's dad ever was. That's when Yuuta realizes that this is a safe space, and comes out as non-binary. No "I'm neither a boy nor a girl" bs, they say that they label themselves as non-binary, since the binary definitions of boy or girl don't quite fit them, and even "non-binary" is a loose fit and they only use it because they need some kind of label. It's the first time I've seen this sort of open and detailed discussion of gender identity in any media. Maki even asks them if they want him to refer to them by a name other than the masculine Yuuta, and they say they want to be called Yuu (which is a neutral name) instead. While the scene did resonate with me, I didn't fully understand why until I started rewatching that particular scene/episode again and again, because it just gave me so much comfort. And after that stage of denial where I just thought I related to the whole "not fitting the mold thing" and that it wasn't a gender thing, I realized that it was, in fact, a gender thing, and slowly began realizing that I'm not really comfortable being seen as a girl. I think it's the specific phrasing of that scene. Yuu said something among the lines of "Living as a boy brings me a lot of pain, but I'm not sure I want to be a girl either. I guess the closest word to describe what I'm feeling is non-binary, but even that doesn't sound quite right, but the world needs some kind of label". It's the realization that genders are all just labels anyway, and my gradual realization that I feel disconnected from the idea of gender in general.
Anime and it's related media helped me discover my asexuality. The anime that had the biggest impact for me was probably "Bloom into You." in retrospect, if I hadn't watched it and the Ace YT videos around it, I was already on the road to identifying as AroAce. It still holds an important spot in my heart tho. I'm currently questioning my gender identity rn too and anime is definitely part of that ride. One of the biggest thing I look back on during my questioning is my relationship with shoujo manga and anime. I feel like there was this weird mix of projecting myself onto the heroine of these stories and some kind of attraction to them at the same time. It's honestly weird looking back in retrospect tho, cus looking back it's like the logic part of my brain says "X, Y, and Z lead to a higher likelihood of falling under the genderqueer umbrella" but the emotional part of my brain just doesn't know what to think.
your part about Crona really really resonated with me. I never had the words to express how I felt about them, especially in relation to myself. You are very well spoken, great video
genderqueer here xD I have fond memories Soul Eater and remember when it came out back then. I think cosplay and anime together influenced a portion of my gender identity because when I got into cosplay I didn't care about the gender of the character I just wanted to cosplay them. Unfortunately I did catch alot of heat for it and anime on it's own since my parents were basically zealots. Whenever I talk of my experience with anime I always say YuGiOh unlocked the door and Shakugan no Shana opened it. Jounouchi was my favorite and I did cosplay him at a point later on. Would have loved to cosplay Yugi or Atem but for obvious reasons I was unable to xD When GX dropped I went on to cosplay multiple characters including my favorite of that YuGiOh run which was Manjoume. On the topic of Shakugan no Shana I have cosplayed Shana and Wilhelmina in the past but I have yet to give both characters a proper cosplay given the time frame being way when I first started out back in high school xD
Thank you so much for making this video and sharing this step of your journey! I hope you’ve continued to make progress on who you want to be and how you want people to see you since!
This video is beautiful, wonderful, and important. I relate to so many of the themes and experiences you mentioned in this video (as someone who identifies as demigirlflux). Thank you so much for making this video.
I don't know how you broke-and-entered into my RUclips reccs (I normally don't see much of any content about gender), but I'm so glad this video has reached me somehow. I've also found anime as an incredible tool to learn about myself and create connections, and it's always massively validating and interesting to find others with a similar journey; the Evangelion section in particular was really heartwarming and is something I can really relate to, as that was my first anime and the one which started driving me to take more control of my life and self. Not only do I feel like you've taken me on a fun, condensed journey through this aspect of your life and given me a couple new ideas for what to watch, but you've also taught me a few new things about what questioning one's gender can look like. I'm not sure I could've asked for a more fulfilling 20 minutes, so thank you!
I wish you could be my friend Kross or have someone like you in my life, i've never had anyone to talk seriously with about my gender,,, like a long good conversation......... the issue with my gender identity is that a lot of it is controlled by my fear, let me explain, for a very long time I identified as non-binary that was the first thing that got me started on my gender journey as time went on i slowly started moving towards being seen as much more feminine, so many things lean towards wanting to identify as a woman, or at least have my gender be a woman and look as much like a woman as possible and let people use whatever my pronouns are..... my issue is whenever someone insults someone who is MTF or i hear something bad about someone who is MTF its never good shit in the news! its always terrible shit! and we're always just seen as these men who just wear dresses and makeup and make it seem like none of us will ever pass and that makes me feel like shit!!!!!!!. Until one day I was playing through Persona 4 dancing all night with a friend of mine and he compared me to Naoto and that felt so good......... words can't explain how it felt but it felt amazing and it felt right.... i can be androgynous still but I can identify as a woman... I say my pronouns are they/she or she/they the priority flip flops a lot because when I hear something about MTF people I hide away....... that hide away for me is non binary, for some reason when I identify as non binary things dont hurt anymore, words don't hurt no matter what people say, but when i go back to trying to present much more feminine and female it hurts when someone's says something. It also doesn't help that there are not many good trans woman in any form of media and games there are so many SO MANY gender non confirming characters in anime that can be perceived as non binary or agender and that makes me feel like shit i feel like there is no good representation of trans woman in anime, they are always played off as traps or femboys, the gender non confirming people and non binary people get all the spot light, even in games like apex legends and borderlands...... i have an issue of projecting myself into characters I see and I see myself in them, I feel like I cant do that for girl characters as much because I just dont feel like a girl its a non stop ping pong.... I'd say I identify as non binary but at the same time I wouldn't mind being called a woman, sometimes I think Its just fear, fear is controlling me from becoming what I want, I have dreams about being a girl, me having a girls body, me looking like a girl, these people that I think are my friends running their fingers through my hair saying im such a pretty girl all of these dreams create a feeling that I can't explain besides a rush of tingles and euphoria....... how many more signs do i need for me to stop being a coward and go through with my transition.... hell im even on HRT im taking the exact path a trans woman would but until i get this damn fear under control and not let people's opinions on what I am change what I identify as ill never know what my gender is..... its hell Kross... its hell I need more trans friends, i need some sort of guidance I'm probably going to delete this comment at some point, but I hope you can at least read it at some point
hey i know i'm very much late to this comment, but i'm hoping you're well. i can totally understand the fear. it's very hard to ignore when you're questioning your gender. for me, when i first started questioning my gender i only considered being trans femme since that was what i had to most exposure to and that's what all my non-cis friends were. and it fit me to an extent, but i felt that same push back whenever i saw any hate or other terrible shit being flung towards any MTF people. for a while i kept a journal where i would rate where i was on the masculinity to femininity scale for that day (i now believe that such a thing oversimplified the issue and doesn't accurately portray gender as an issue, but i digress) and it was super easy to track the days when i perceived myself as more masculine as the days when i saw something in media that scared me away from the idea of being MTF. for me what really helped was just finding people who were confidently MTF and talking to them. it didn't matter if it was online in an LGBT community, real life with friends, or whatever. just being exposed to their genuine assurance made me feel more confident in myself. through that assurance i was able to more accurately assess where i was and how i was feeling without my decisions being dictated by fear and it was much easier for me to work out how i *truly* felt with no bias. i'll be honest, i still don't know where i stand. if put under pressure i wouldn't be able to pick a label and feel like it fits me. i currently go by he/they and it's good enough for me at the moment, but who knows where the wind will take me. again, hope you're well, and if this is still an issue for you, i hope that i could show you that you are definitely 100% not alone. there are so many people who feel exactly how you do who are totally up for a conversation or a chat. just keep being you my friend, all that can be asked of you is that you try to be the best you that you can possibly be :)
Your breakdown of Crona and Soul Eater was perfect for describing my experience with the show as well! Especially with Crona, because I got it from a friend on a flashdrive, they always threw me for a loop because the subtitles referred to them as male one episode and female in their next appearance. But I was really more influenced by Magical Girl shows like those that appeared on 4Kids like "Winx Club" and "Magical Do Re Mi."
I only found out I was nonbinary about a year ago but looking back, I probably would've found out sooner if I had any LGBT education growing up. I've always hyperfixated on androgynous characters like crona from soul eater and Naoto from persona. I loved they felt neither masculine or feminine and were free from the oppressive gender roles I felt in my life. Nowadays I'm working on feminizing my voice and writing queer characters.
Listening to you talk about doubting the sincerity of intentions in media is such a real thing, especially with cultural differences and judging whether or not one is looking too deep into something.
I love this video because not only do I get to see a part of yourself that I never got to see before, but it gets me thinking about the shows I’ve watched and which ones I subconsciously used to help explore my own identity.
This video is amazing Up until now I had no idea why or how people identified as genderfluid, but the way you describe it makes perfect sense Most videos about lgbt representation in media feel preachy and politicised, so it's great to watch one that isn't like that at all
The only people that politicize us just living our life are bigots. The only reason I personally would get preachy is because of how myself and non-cishet people as a whole have been treated for forever for just wanting to live in peace. Also, your wording is literally saying "ya know you're one of the good ones" to Kross. I know you most likely don't mean it that way, but it definitely sounds like it.
I my not be gender fluid but can relate to some of what the person in the video was saying. Like how she/they wanted to dress up as Maka for Halloween. I wanted to be Ryko from Kill la kill (even though I am a cis male)
I'm probably like 16 older than you and am going through similar experience! I'm glad I found you here! You have a great way with words! Have a great time in college ! always live your best life!
Wow... I feel so lucky that the algorithm brought me here. I am so happy for you going through this journey and facing this at the end of your teens, rather than the beginning of your 30s like me. I have a lot of similar feelings and a similar connection to different anime but it feels like we took the same trip in different locations. I will be joining your Patreon as soon as I get on desktop and I am excited to see more of your videos Btw, music in this video was super cool
hey kross!! this video sat in my watch later for forever, and honestly i’m glad i waited as long as i did to watch it. i’ve recently been journaling a lot about my own gender identity and gendered experiences and sort of trying to draw my own conclusions about myself, my identity, the way that people in the south (in the US) perceive gender roles, etc and it has been super helpful for me. i actually came to a lot of the same ideas that you described in this video; but i think it was helpful for me to come to them on my own. that being said i still thoroughly enjoyed the video of course :) i’ve shifted my perspective on gender recently from “i need to be called these pronouns or look this way to be validated” to “i am valid the way i am, gender is just a lens thru which people view me (and i view myself)”. that’s a vast oversimplification, but it seems like your exploration of your gender thru anime led you thru a similar journey. it’s really reassuring to know other people out there have similar experiences. i’ve never actually considered anime as an influence on my gender identity in the way you do in this video, but i may do some writing about that very thing now - i’m curious!! anyway, thanks for making this video and being part of my journey in discovering my identity. hope college is going well!! (realized we’re the same age when u said smth abt junior year in the video lmao. wild)
21:29 "Whether I end going completely trans female, sticking with genderfluid, or identifying as the fourth ring of Saturn." Of all things that you said, aside from many, many good points, that line made me laugh the most. The unexpectedness of it is just a genuine gold moment.
hi. I know this video is from like 9 months ago but I just got recommended it today, at 1 am. I relate to a lot of the topics in this video, and although I haven’t gotten as far in my journey as you have, I can heavily relate to the themes you discuss. i also happened to be a junior in high school when the pandemic shut everything down, and ever since I graduated high school around a year ago I’ve had the feeling that I got robbed of a very important developmental time of my life. isolation made me evaluate a lot of things and learn more about myself and who I am then I probably wanted to know. thank you for the watch.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people out age are going to have more of complicated relationship with isolation due to the pandemic hitting in our teen years. I'm sure you'll figure everything out, though!
Okay sort of off topic but I really love your voice, have you considered voice acting Kross?? You totally have the voice of an anime character and I love it so much.
omg really!? That's so nice! I actually did do a little voice acting for a friend's school project. They had to take a scene from a movie and recreate all the audio from scratch. Music, sfx, voice acting, etc. (They were in an audio engineering class) Anyway, funnily enough, they chose a scene from the Evangelion Rebuild 1.0 and I voiced a few of Maya Ibuki's lines! I thought it turned out pretty good, but I'd definitely need a lot more practice before doing any "professional" VA work. Thanks for the compliment!
i am gendefluid as well, and i deeply relate to how you ensembled (? your gender identity through the media you´ve been consuming all your life. many people might thinks it´s dumb (mostly, cishet people, shocking) but it makes so much sense !
I want to say first that I also moved states to go to college and think it was one of the best decision I have ever made, I hope you also find the experience very rewarding! I really appreciated that you were able to concisely sum up a lot of feelings that I feel about transgender acceptance in one video. Best of luck on wherever life brings you!
I can tell that you’re very smart and you explain yourself very well. Good luck on figuring out who you are. Btw I love Eva too. It’s my all time favorite anime and in my top 3 favorite shows of all time. And I also love land of the lustrous lol.
I’m really glad someone took the time to explain this to me. As kid I was really into anime and so I had a lot of friends at school who were really into anime as well. I’ve watched almost all of them come out as trans/gender neutral which I think is great… but I had always wondered how anime brought them to that conclusion. Thanks for putting into words why anime can be so important to exploring gender! (Edit: I myself am a lesbian who feels more gender neutral although I don’t mind my assigned pronouns either…. Anyways I just wanted to say that all the anime’s you mentioned are ones we watched as well so that’s interesting that these pieces of media all spoke to queer children in one way or another)
I appreciate this video a lot! I feel like with the topic of Identity, and especially self-exploration, people will explain why their viewpoint is the only way or how it is the best way but this felt completely informational and not pushy at all. Interesting concept, and eye opening as an average male who has never struggled with identity problems like these.
Wow, the wonder egg priority part of this vid really made me feel things And the summary after it, explaining the contrast between how wonder egg and evangelion colored your perception of gender really- wow, i koved that.
I really appreciate this video as someone who just graduated my senior year of high school. 2020 was the year I started to truly question my gender, and when you brought up Crona that solidified how I had felt growing up watching Soul Eater as a child, and always having this fascination with them that I couldn’t tell which category they belonged in. Even though they used masculine pronouns on them throughout the show, they also wore a dress and that made me feel validated in a way? I’ve finally found out for myself that I’m genderfluid, which is an identity I personally haven’t discovered in any media at all, but I’m still young and there are new things to look forward to in the future. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s really nice to hear about someone else going through similar thought processes as yourself 💛
I feel like I have come to the same conclusion and point you had met with Evangalion, but instead with Persona 5 , with the perceptions of others+society being through masks/personas and how the "self" plays around with them, which has been formative in how I've seen myself in many regards, including gender
I'm personally transgender Male-to-Female as I remembered and had experienced growing gender dysphoria as I had began to question myself in High School in my first ever year in 2017 to 2018. I had felt uncomfortable around the majority of my male friends and peers where I had been much more comfortable and at home with my female friends and peers. I felt really uncomfortable in the locker room of males and just felt dysphoric in my body. I had then began to question my very identity for years as I had also ALWAYS played females in any game given the choice of male or female including Destiny 2, Pokemon, D&D, etc. I also was very comfortable in all honesty in women's clothes stores. Then I had searched up gender affirming surgery and started watching videos of it at 14-15. I pushed my growing dysphoria and sense of incongruence down until 2021 to now where I found myself to be pansexual in Summer 2021 and then felt the dysphoria again this time much harder to ignore. I officially questioned myself and came out from June from Enby when I had questioned to now Transgender Woman in September 2022. I have mainly felt uncomfortable with my name and pronouns for a long time and The Owl House helped me. My Autism also plays a large role due to the fact that ASD individuals are not straight and most likely to be transgender. Due to my ASD's tendency to lie, my family isn't convinced I am transgender and doesn't use my pronouns (she/her & they/them) while I haven't told them of my name I use now even though my birthname is gender-neutral. I'm honestly a Lesbian Transgender Girl who is waiting for the time to talk to my doctors of transitioning and self-discovery as well as I feel gender dysphoria every day currently. My name is Eriana and media like The Cat Returns, Mitchells vs Machines, Barbie, The Owl House, and others have really helped cement my own interpretation of my identity as a transgender MTF woman tomboy. I also used to hate my longer-ish hair but I no longer do and hate that I'm forced into male haircuts and stuff.
@@Ivory-f5b It was 2022 Summer that I came out...unfortunately my life as a neurodivergent transgirl really fucks with everything as it just gets super complicated. My family isn't transphobic but they don't believe me due to my innate ability to lie due to my Autism. At first I had thought I was non-binary in June when I had came out to myself thinking Iwas, but then as I progressed through the months, I remembered more and more of my own life as a high schooler, friends, gaming experiences, etc. It was then in September that I had finally accepted that I was a transwoman. I've honestly been transgender for FARRRRR longer than I have initially thought as I had thought of that I was trans MtF in first year high school as a 14-15 year old in 2017. I just pushed the feelings down and such which in turn, over time and the years, made my dysphoria worse. I have also read a lot of sources from medical professionals in which each different age gap has a similar process, except for adult transgender individuals where it was COMPLETELY and UNIQUELY personal for the individual to come out as transgender/ The first step is coming out to yourself which takes so much courage and thought. I have not been seen as truly a transwoman yet by my family, but soon, they will when I make some doctor's appointments.
I never thought in a million years that i'd find a video that descibes my experience in exploring my gender so similarly From how Crona was your first exposure to androgyny, to how in high school you started questioning your gender identity and finally got around to expressing yourself I mean like nearly everything you've said i relate to on a personal level Anime has been one of the biggest influences on me in general, from my hobbies and interests, down to my gender and presentation, but i never thought there was someome else who felt the same (Still unsure of a label atm but def not cis, about to start my junior year of HS)
Seeing gren in the jupiter jazz episode from cowboy bebop when I was 12 had the same effect on me that crona had on you. Had no concept of androgyny previously
off topic, but i would highly recommend you to watch kaiba. this anime has helped me with my gender exploration a lot, and the basic idea is that people in this universe are able to extract and store memories in chips, allowing them to transfer those memories between bodies, decontextualizing them. as a result, the idea of gender is almost non-existent. it's that thought of basically inserting your mind into someone else's body that made me go feral lol. heck, there's even a planet where people rock designer bodies that look nothing like humans. also, the amnesiac protagonist searching for their identity is cliche as hell, but it feels oddly comforting.
Bravo, Kross! You are eloquent, positive and informative on the subject of gender fluidity and how anime illuminated your journey. I will be checking out more of your work. For now. Have a like and a sub.
This is an amazing video. Over the last year I've come to the conclusion that I'm trans and something that had helped me realize that is yellow from pokemon adventures. When reading that manga I strongly related to yellow and I couldn't figure out why, they seemed so different from other characters that I allowed my self to relate to and I didn't get why no other character had connected with me like that. Then i relaised, I didn't allow myself to relate to female characters becauze I had always thought that was wrong. I allowed myself to relate to yellow because I thought she was a boy and that helped me realize I want to be a girl.
I’m a cis woman and crona is still one of my favorite characters. Their story and personality has really touched me in ways I can’t rly understand or describe. I just know that I love this character sm and want them to be happy and healthy forever 🤍
Somthing as small as “or she/her when they/them is linguistically awkward” just hit me so hard because that’s how I feel about he/him. I prefer it when it’s difficult/awkward/unsafe. Anyway that’s not related to the video but it struck me and so far I’m liking this a lot too
Thanks! I'm glad someone can relate to that. I've always felt like my gender identity was pretty fluid and dependent on context. Like when I'm around friends, I pretty much don't care what pronouns they use because I know that they know me well enough that I don't need to worry about them seeing me a different way than I see myself.
What I've more recently realized is that I basically want to be considered as feminine as I can pass for. So online, I perfer she/her because I can control how my avatar looks and I can make my voice seem a bit more feminine. But offline, I know that I look like a guy so I feel wierd asking people to use she/her and they/them is still validating so it's not a big deal. Maybe that's a hurdle I should work to get around but right now I'm basically just experimenting to see how I can look more feminine so that I won't feel wierd asking people to call me she/her.
Same! In my native language literally EVERYTHING is grammatically gendered as either male or female, so I just go with the equivalent of She/Her. In English I'm They/Them tho
ywnbaw + 53%
@@duskendawne2239 Cool!
@@LavaCreeperPeopletf is 53%
"I don't want people to place me into a box and make assumptions about the type of person I am"
I can relate with this
I love these kinds of discussions because I identify as a woman but not that strongly, so I get to see both sides. There are some moments when I feel happy when people view me as a woman. This toolkit of how to interact with me based on the knowledge of "women" comes in handy lots of times. But then again there are those times when I'm like "Just no. Don't- okay look I'm just a person. Keep it as neutral as possible, thx". And I am not even trying to stir any discussion about sexism I just mean respectful interactions.
Too bad people already do by placing yourself in the whole LGBT clusterfuck
Yup
Isn’t this something EVERYONE should be able to relate to?! Every creative person, at least (like myself)?
I honestly feel the exact same, people find so many ways to assign things to different genders, I want to be me, undecided, unconfined. I just want to be me and have people not immediately make assumptions JUST based on my gender. The confinement that is gender is something I feel I do not fully fit into. I'd rather be seen as me, and nothing more or less.
When Momoe first apeared i assumed she would be a trans man, but she kept afirming her feminility and I went "oh well, missed opportunity I guess", and for some dumb reason, I never pondered if she was a trans woman ????????
i felt so dumb having to have this told to me. i thought the exact same as you lol.
@@ZeroTwo-ir5th The character isn't trans tho. People in this show are considered by the magic bullshit to be the gender their were given at birth, this is why a trans boy was able to be "saved" in the show despite being a boy (only girls can be saved) , and why Momoe has to be a girl
lmao
@@StailsArte what? I mean, the show had some major issues with randomly invalidating a trans man and then using his trauma for someone else's arch but, momoe was 100% trans.
I just headcannon that the akkas are the actual villains and then most of the show makes sense. Since then the sexist way suicide is portrayed as "emotional for girls" can be lumped under them being delusional.
Also, it makes their backstory with Frill way more interesting because it questions whether frill actually did anything at all or if they're just terrible people that lead one of them's wife and one of their daughters to suicide and then blamed it on the other daughter to not have to process it themselves.
Then it explains why frill created those, things. She needed something to help escape the akka's because they were (cannon) physically abuse and probably going to kill her and she made whatever she could asap to help her escape. Bla bla bla etc
Then you end up with Frill trying to stop her creations, the akkas, and the girls working for them and it would be way more interesting than the ending they went for.
@@solsystem1342yeah but, a headcanon is a headcanon, it might help you to make sense of it's flaws, but canonically the anime flopped really hard
17:33 There is a video by [Edit: Known Plagiarist] James Somerton on “Yuri on Ice” about nuance and subtlety, and how American cinema has an audience that will openly talk during a movie, meaning that it has to make the quiet part LOUD. But French/Japanese cinema is a space that mandates silence and focus, rewarding audiences with nuance and subtlety. [Edit: Which would be a great point, if only we knew the source. I look forward to a video by @hbomberguy detailing who these ideas were stolen from]
Sounds interesting. I havnt seen this video before. I'll check it out.
This is why I like A Silent Voice in Japanese rather than English
It is absolutely not common for the audience to openly talk during a movie in America, it is seen as incredibly rude and is heavily discouraged (with occasional exceptions depending of the movie in question)
@@saudade7842 It’s much much more common though
@@saudade7842 It's rude but still commonplace enough that we need messages before the start of films for it. The main problem is if something's getting boring, people tend to chat or listen to others chat because it's more engaging than whatever is happening on screen. (Doesn't mean it's more entertaining or that the film isn't good, it's just more engaging and patience has been tried.)
9:25 "let's fast-forward to the far-off year of 2020. I just finished junior year of high-school-" and at this point I have to pause the video, take a breath, walk to my window and stare at the horizon while I contemplate the fact that kids who were in highschool in 2020 are now making video-essays. My back hurts all of a sudden.
Jokes aside, great video!! ♥️ Both the video and people telling their stories here in the comment section are making me emotional lol
Ikr! This is like, the best comment section on my channel.
Also, thanks for the compliments! I've been making video essays since before 2020 If you can believe it (not that they were any good lol)
@@Krossxc holy shit!! Congrats, it takes a lot of discipline (along with talent, of course) to make a video-essay. The fact that you started so early just shows how talented and passionate you are! Keep up the good work 😊
(I'm planning on watching the video about intergenerational trauma and Disney but I just know I'll be a crying mess lol so I'm preparing myself™)
I actually feel like I understand the concept of gender better after this.
I’m 34 and still learning.
aren't we all
Theres nothing to learn from the ramblings of attention craved children
@@Dol706So why should anyone read your comment then?
@@Dol706 And that's why nobody ever learned anything from you
@@Krossxc no, I am 32 >:(
"Gender is a media trope" is an awesome take
Ikr
Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms
Yeh, & marketing campaign simulacra/target.
I am a trans boy, and I always felt like a boy. And to see so many new trans people is heart warming.
ywnbam + 52%
It is nice to see more people making themselves more visible in the world.
And on that subject. Hi my gender is Genderfae which is basically Genderfluid but restricted to the genders outside the male/man/masculine spectrum.
So I am basically a nonbinary transwomen.
@@tentative_flora2690Hello from another nonbinary trans woman (she/her)! :)
@@CoolestSwordFighter you first.
@@CoolestSwordFighter what are you fucking about
there is a large need of more queer people talking about queer (and especially gender) related topics in the anime genre. it's way too overwhelmed by bigots who are mostly just adults or teens who never got taught a different perspective and seeing videos like this and reading the comments on how people learn more about their identity or simply learn more in order to be more open minded and accepting genuinely is the best feeling ever so thank you
I understand but also manga and anime is more inclusive than the country it originated from. From what I have seen on the topic the people who make manga or anime are creating media that within their own nation is consider either subversive or even counterculture. I don't know entirely some anime's do it better than others or they gay or trans gender charectors and either it is a little side topic steins gate and going through time gender changing or the one with the prisoners who try to escape each day one of the wardens has a sibling that dresses really feminitly and the group has a crush but they find out and most owe ok but one is like I will try and there is a little conversation about being bi. The second example i butchered sorry it is either less bad or more no clue. There are well writen LGBTQ+ charectors in anime and manga it is mostly coming from people who know more. I will say that luffy from one peice is ace and honestly a lot of charectors are not directly stated or it is simple implied. I am curious what anime's you watch honestly I have seen some LGBTQ+ friendly or inclusive anime's. I would like to discuss the topic more. I do hope we will see more LGBTQ+ people in anime but not as a thrown in for spice or stereotyped way.
Crona is great because they essentially provide fluid representation. It's difficult for me sometimes to explain what I mean by "Third Gender" because I don't fit into any traditional cultural Third Gender roles, nor do I fit into modern Trans paradigms. But it's easy for me to point at a character like Crona (or Astolfo) and just say, "like this", and I can do so without feeling like I'm taking representation from others by trying to "claim" a character for my own selfish validation or anything.
Have you seen Tokyo Ghoul
Crona’s gender is intentionally never mentioned or stated, while “nonbinary” and “genderfluid” are labels expressly used by people as self-identification. Conflating “gender-ambiguous” or “androgynous” with “nonbinary” or “genderfluid” is prejudiced.
@@cmyk8964 It wasn't my intention to conflate anything, sorry if my language wasn't clear enough. I simply meant that I identify with Crona, not that the character bears any labels I've taken to using to describe myself to others.
Would you mind explaining further oh your perspective on 3rd gender? Do you identify as 3rd gender? I ask as a nonbinary person who also doesn't fit within existing definitions
I believe the term you're looking for is agender,genderfluid, or bigender... nonbinary or androgynous could work too
Seeing all these new characters in media while questioning myself is so confusing because people see me as a girl, I don't know what I see myself as?
Sometimes I'm comfortable being addressed as a girl, sometimes as a guy, but I don't feel like I'm either or any? I wonder if I'll ever be able to answer all my own questions.
I feel similarly. Hopefully, I'll be able to explore new avenues of gender expression in college
You might have the borderline personality. Borderline people have no identity of any kind, therefore no gender. This is exactly why borderline people are the perfect actors because they literally don't act they become the characters.
I don't wanan force any labels onto you but if you're still questioning maybe you should look into demi genders? Demigenders (like demigirl, demiboy, demigender and others) are a type of gender that can be explainined as : feelings disconnected to one's gender without feelings totally different from said gender. You might also search genders ending in -fluid or in -flux because those identities refer to changing feelings surrounding gender.
I feel the exact same! I am replying like 9 months too late though I feel like I should tell you about my experience, if it helps.
Personally, I’ve debated being a demiboy or bigender, though they don’t feel correct. I kind of found that Id like to be female (for now, at least) and just dress or look male. I look too female for that to ever happen, but hey, maybe it will. Depending on who or what I’m around I feel more male or female, I’ve decided on going by she/he, I feel that finding your pronouns really helps and is a great first step. It kind of all started by me imagining myself as male, I can’t get that out of my head, Im obsessed.. I wish I was born male most of the time. Does that make me transgender if I would be perfectly okay being a guy? Maybe, maybe not. Sorry for writing so much lol
Aye, I know I'm nine months late, but I used to feel similarly, to the second half at least.
I remember as a kid - especially when puberty became a thing - I had thoughts here and there. ''wouldnt it be cool if you could be neither male nor female. Like, not _inbetween,_ but _neither._''
I remember distinctly, as a kid, telling a relative of mine "I don't like being a girl.'' They asked me if I wanted to be a boy instead, and I thought about it. I imagined what that would be like, what having a male body would be like, and I said ''no, being a boy also sounds dumb''
Of course, there was no conversation after this. I don't think the person I was talking to even knew what 'nonbinary' is, or anything of that sort, nor would they assume a child perceived as just ''a tomboy'' would be that.
Fast forward to now, and I've been identifying as Agender for the past... it ought to be around three or four years now? feels longer, to be honest. I tried changing my pronouns to they/them and it has sort of stuck - though nowadays, I certainly am not bothered by the occasional ''he'', either.
Thing is, I'm German. I don't live in an english speaking country, and while grammatical gender isn't usually linked to actual gender or sex _(a girl isn't neutral after all, nor is a coffee a he or a cherry a she),_ pronouns based off of it certainly are. German does not have any good options for neutral pronouns and to me, most neopronouns that aren't the german equivalent of ''it'' sound clunky and don't really work all that well in the language - wheras ''it'', to me, simply sounds far too dehumanizing to be comfortable. Fortunately, as I mentioned, I'm decently comfortable with masculine pronouns, so I have opted to go with he/him _(er/ihn/sein)_ for my german pronouns.
I used to think I was at least okay with she/her, too, but the more I was able to get people to call me my preferred pronouns, the worse I started to feel when I heard my old set of pronouns.
I currently present fairly masculine, however I'm quite certain that will change in the future, whenever I've had top surgery. I have pretty bad bodily dysphoria, so I sort of ''counteract'' my AFAB body by expressing very masc, but once I have the relief of being able to alleviate my dysphoria via the surgery I know I will be much freer in how I can dress without my dysphoria getting in the way.
I feel like for somebody who isn't binary trans, my journey in regards to what my gender is has been much more straight-forward _(hehe)_ than that of many other trans folks. I had assumed I was simply a tomboy only because I had been told so, but as soon as I heard the term nonbinary, as soon as it was explained to me, something within me just clicked. I was in denial for a while, but something in me just kept bringing my attention back to the concept, and eventually I did come to terms with it. Once I had accepted myself for who I was, I identified briefly as just nonbinary, then added or changed it to the more specific term of Agender, and I've just been identifying as that ever-since.
I don't really know why I'm writing this, I just sort of saw everyone sharing how they feel and thought I'd add to it.
Oh and, as someone who is Agender, of course what label is right for you is something only you can figure out, but hearing you say ''I don't feel like I'm either or any'', have you looked into Agender and similar gender identities?
I know it's been months so, maybe you've already figured out whatever label you feel comfortable with, but just in case I thought that might interest you.
As a kid I watched cartoons, but anime, but I think I started with Lilo and Stitch the series. Plekley was cool to me, and I liked that he wore dresses and skirts, and then I found Mulan, and I wanted to dress masc even if I didn’t realize it, I didn’t want To just be a princess in waiting, I wanted to be the hero, and as I grew up that scared me cause I was told my whole life that I had to act and look in a certain way that matched the female sex, it wasn’t until recently that I met non-binary people when I was outside my home town, and I got on the internet and began seeing the community for the first time that I realized I had a choice on how I wanted to present myself! Now I’m a masc representing agender individual and I’m so much happier for it, because even if my family doesn’t accept my identity I’ve finally learned to accept myself and not constantly fight against myself to force myself I’m the female box. Anyway if anyone reads to the end of this then this is just my personal story, I hope you have a great day, if you’re binding or tucking then please do so safely and I hope you have a great day!
I love reading peoples' stories in this comment section. I'm so glad that so many people are found my experience relatable ❤️
Kross, thank you so much for making this video. As someone who is currently questioning their gender identity, hearing about your experiences has really helped me understand more about myself. There are some things you mentioned that I can really relate to. The segment on Crona in particular made me think about the ways gender influences our perception of ourselves and of other people, and your thoughts about Momoe were impactful as well. The description you gave of your experience with gender dysphoria was relatable and very validating for me. Knowing that there is someone who feels the way I do, at least in some respects, is very comforting. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but you are a fantastic creator, and I'm so happy I found your channel. You're the best and I hope college goes well for you this year.
Edit from the future: Since I made this comment, I've come to the conclusion that I'm cis. Still, I'm so glad I saw this video. It helped me learn a lot about myself and people who are trans. Sending all the love and support to everyone who is still figuring themselves out. It's so great to see such a positive community in the comments.
Thank you very much for the kind words. I appreciate it a lot.
Also, so far, college is going great
@@Krossxc That's great! Good luck for the rest of the year. And keep doing what you're doing, you're amazing
Man, this hit me hard. I'm pretty much going through the same thing. Right now my answer is "cis with nuance".
Momoe is a gender-validating character to me, even though I see her as a cis female (she is heavily hinted to have relations with being transgender, but never a confirmed part of the anime). I am a cis female, I am not sure if I am gender fluid but my gender identity is not always female. I studied in all-girl schools, and saw multiple schoolmates grew up into androgynous people. I don't know what gender they identify themselves as, but their roles in our school were the "tomboy", the "lesbian", the "brat" or etc. Some of my other schoolmates were just girls who looks boyish, some of them took up a more masculine role despite having a feminine appearance. Momoe is as complex as my real life schoolmates even if she is not trans. To me, she is a cis girl who sometimes decides to act in masculine ways, yet deeply identify as a girl and wants her gender to be affirmed. She explores her gender and relationships with other genders and finds her unique answers, regardless of what her biological gender is or how/if it changed.
I actually never seen a queer (positively or normally represented) character in our television in my whole childhood because of my country being biased, the closest I've got it technically Sailor Uranus (which I had a crush on back then as well-) but I mostly resonate with soft and feminine character, which makes me question my identity even more, I didn't want to be called feminine but I just mostly let people call me that since that's all they can see in me, it's not like I wanted to be called masculine either. I soon knew RUclips and it changed the living life out of me, it soon made me realized that I like to style myself in androgynous clothing while also accepting that I like both feminine and masculine clothing to express myself. I still couldn't specify my gender yet, maybe I might soon.
Chrona was also my first real introduction to androgeny, and I realize now as an adult that so much of my childhood where i was forced to be feminine through my private school and church upbringing was plagued with the desire to be seen as more masculine so that no one could tell what I was. In my own gender journey I usually go by he/him and I'm leaning into the masculine to make up for lost time. However, I feel that its not the end game, and as I do often wish for a more masculine appearance, I do sometimes still desire to be seen as feminine, or at the very least androgynous. Chrona was the beginning of it.
I have known that there were people that existed that had a gender identity different from their sex assigned at birth for years because of the political debates that ensued over the past few years over it. This is the first piece of content that I have seen that actually recounts the story of someone who is genderfluid (for lack of better terms). Although I am a cisgender male, I think it has helped me understand the topic a lot better. I think one thing that really stood out was your flippant acceptance of the value of gender roles and the role that they played in evaluating your personality and identity. I feel like these are the sort of points that I linger in my mind from pearl-clutching conservatives, even though I knew that they were wrong. It really helped me better contextualize gender. Thank you.
Hearing the part about not being dissatisfied with your body but how people perceive you based on it was really nice to hear. I have recently figured out that a lot of my social frustration stems from people assuming I’m far more masculine than I am.
The description "A girl who is sometimes confused for a boy" is so good, it almost made me cry.
I used to experience some mild dysphoria about my gender when I was younger. I ended up coming to terms with my masculine identity because I found a lot of my feelings stemmed from a deep discomfort for traditional masculinity.
I've come to realize that I can shape the definition of masculinity into whatever suits my perfeption and I could also accept my feminine tendencies as they are. I am a man, but I don't often identify with other men.
This used to make me feel profoundly lonely and like less of a person because I didn't fit into the masculine mold my peers did. I've found peace within myself and a lot of it came through anime.
If you ever can, watch Natsume Yuujinchou. The main character, Natsume Takashi, has been really powerful for me on this front. He exhibits a lot of feminine traits, but he is more of a "man" than most other people I've met. Emotional intelligence, kindness, and an eagerness to help those in need are all manly traits I choose to identify with.
I figure as long as society puts me in a box I can still do what I can to peel off the labels and make my existence my own. Great video!!
i love natsume yuujinchou so much. personally, i relate to him because i see the experience of living with a mental illness/disability and learning to deal with it and heal from trauma in his story. the beautiful thing about it is that everyone can have their own interpretations and draw strength from natsume. i also love that you've embraced your gender and your feminine traits. i think its definitely something a lot of men struggle with due to the culture around being male. personally, i'm trans and although im afab i still love feminine things. for me, the difference is that even though i acknowledge that women can be masculine and powerful it just doesn't feel right to call myself a woman. i have tried many times, thinking that "maybe this time will be different. maybe i was just going about it wrong," but i never realy stop feeling like it is not ME. it really just feels like it's wrong to call myself a woman. i also feel uncomfortable about traditional masculinity and can't ever see myself being that. however, i can see myself as and want to be a "feminine" man. gender is a very complicated thing and i don't think you ever realy stop learning about yourself. it's interesting how different people's journeys can be. i'm definitely still figuring things out.
15:01 That message on screen. That is the best description I have ever seen for how I feel. I always thought I just had mild dysphoria, especially considering I'd have days where I felt more confident in my identity, and day where I didn't, which reflected what I wore. Sometimes I'll wear my binder for a few hours on a day where I literally don't leave the house at all. But that description fits how I usually feel perfectly. My inner voice just happens to be someone who perceives me like society does, so I feel like I have to do it some days. But things like I feel most comfortable when wearing my binder or no binding at all, as most other kinds of binding just reminds me too much of the fact that I don't have the chest I want to have. And like- I only want top surgery, nothing else. Like, maybe a voice change to make me sound more androgynes, and broder shoulders, but otherwise, I don't want to change much. But at the same time, I don't feel like me. I love how I look (other than the things I just mentioned), but I look in the mirror and see a person, not someone I can connect to me. It's weird and I don't know what the frick to do and it's hard, annoying, frustrating, and a whole shebang of other things to describe my emotions.
Note: I have XX chromosomes, but currently identify as genderqueer, and use any pronouns other than she/her (mainly He/Him tho, because it's easier for the people around me). I have long hair, and love more effeminate clothing, but don't really wear said clothing because it causes people to assume my pronouns to be the only ones I don't want to be used. Society/gender norms suckkkk
Can relate
_This_
_Very much this_
I have very many thoughts about this but no idea how to put it into words-..
Which sucks because i kinda really wanna talk about it.. but yeah
Its just like.. if i dressed like completely myself i would be percieved less accurately.. its annoying...
Its like.. to me im everything and nothing (in pretty much anything i can think of) but if i did that it would make me (be percieved as) some _one_ thing and thats just not.. it ig
(And about the everything and nothing bit i feel like my brain might just be kinda messed up but i have absolutely no idea what it could be so im just vibing with that rn)
It does get frustrating
Yess this I totally relate
This is exactly how I feel about my own gender. Thank you for putting it into words
I'm glad I was able to help y'all put it into words
I love Wonder Egg Priority, but I never know that Momoe was trans. I just thought that she was a cis-gender girl that look more masculine. But yeah with what you said, it make total sense especially with the episode 9 and her interaction with the transboy.
Also, wonderful video.
Thank you!
No she is cis, she wears the sailor uniform and japanese schools are very strict. She'd be shown wearing gakuran instead if the idea was she was assigned male at birth. She is cis who people think is a boy because of her masculine appearance but this makes her able to relate to the trans boy as japanese society disregards their inner feelings in a similar way.
@@kit76149 In the 15th minute of episode 4 the monster said 'this is a women-only train car and I will tear your trousers and cut your p***s off', and she used 僕, the male version of 'I' in Japanese, when responding to the monster. This is interesting.
But anyway, trans women are women, and even if Momoe is cis, she's still relatable by trans women for being constantly misgendered and suffered trauma for that.
Ironically I did get trans vibes from Momoe but thought she was a questioning trans man instead 😅
@@_kalia She can't be a trans man because she doesn't like to be seen as a boy
I honestly dont know what to say besides how beautiful this video is. As a nonbinary person whos favorite anime is wonder egg, i feel like people dont talk about momoe enough, shes literally amazing omg
@@TheCoolestEverIhuh???
@@TheCoolestEverI??? Do you know what nonbinary is?? They aren’t a women lol
@@TheCoolestEverI You don't know what non-binary is, do you? Also don't flatter yourself, you'll never be the coolest ever with that attitude.
that's it. im getting back into anime. eva and soul eater have been on my to watch list for far too long and wonder egg sounds lovely /gen
also that closeted kid I used to be (and occasionally still find in me) is feeling really called out with fruits basket /nm /t. Kino's Journey was my entry to being subconsciously aware of gender identity and marked the start of my departure from gender roles, and enforcing them upon myself, as a whole. this queer trans individual salutes yee
ywnbaw + 52%
🤣as if your comment is in any way meaningful@@CoolestSwordFighter
@@MarzeyMoo ok
the way you described your current gender identity felt like it hit ridiculously close to home.
i do not call myself gender fluid or anything that concrete, but when i watch shows i tend to subconsciously try to relate to the female characters over the male ones, i am generally unhappy with my broader masculine physique (yet am not constantly, nor excessively, bothered by this)
i have, to another person, stated that my "optimal" body would be androgynous,
i have attempted to create feminine mannerisms in my daily life... to varying success, and have practiced a feminine voice for so many years that i could hold a conversation with myself using my "masculine" and "feminine" voices to such a degree that another person wouldn't be able to tell they were both me.
(though this has led to most people in my life knowing the voice as a "Joke" or as "creepy" to a few)
and yet, despite all this..... i am too afraid to ACTUALLY, call myself anything but a "male"... because i don't believe i.... qualify? i don't know the best way to describe it... like i don't deserve to call myself anything else...? but then i guess the fact that i believe its something good enough to need to be "deserved" shows.... something....
so sorry for the long rant, as can be clearly seen, i have not figured myself out yet, and i found writing this comment a good way to sort out a couple things.
Oh I know the feeling very, very well.
I'm sure you expected to hear this, but it's true: you don't need to pass some test to be trans or queer or whatever. It's something you decide for yourself. Still, I know how difficult it can be to actualize that decision in your day to day life. Lot's of hope you'll be able to figure things out!
Also something that may help you, is that even cis people experience dysphoria. Not exactly like trans people, but being dissatisfied/uncomfortable with certain physical aspects of themselves. It's something that everyone can experience from time to time.
It does sound like "wonder egg" handled its trans character well! One that is a little more mixed but did something similar is "heaven's design team". Among the cast of creature creators is Venus, who I'm pretty sure the audience is immediately supposed to recognize as a trans woman because her design uses certain anime tropes (she has no boobs and a very dramatic personality, for instance). Which...your mileage may vary on, BUT the thing I thought was neat is that none of the rest of the cast EVER remark on this. They always just refer to Venus as "she" and, when the team goes to a resort, the other women are totally cool with her being in the ladies' side of the hot spring. This caused some commenters on crunchy roll to be very confused/lose their minds, requiring other commenters to have to explain the whole situation: "Of course the girls are fine with it. They've been thinking of her as a woman the entire time! What's YOUR problem?"
@@majmaimajsmainamjswoj4164 there's no fanservice! Heaven's Design Team is wonderful
ive seen clips of that show before! i seemed fun, i should check it out
Has everyone forgotten about Kaoru Kurita - the guy that ended up in the afterlife that's later described as girls only on account of Frill leading girls to suicide "because they are more emotional" - and thus implying that his mind is of a girl eventhough he's clearly and unambiguously a trans man. That seemed kinda jarring to me when I connected the dots.
@@KarolOfGutovo oh... i never noticed that... kinda takes the wind out the sails IMO that really tarnishes my opinion of it, yikes
@@KarolOfGutovoI have noticed that depictions of transmen in anime tend to fall down this path.
I'm currently watching the latest One Piece arc with two trans characters in it and while the transwoman character is handled really well (in stark contrast to earlier arcs), the transman character still very much presents femme and often gets referred as a woman in side material.
Really happy for the better transwoman depictions but we're really struggling on the transman side of things
Not even half way throught this and I gotta say... It makes me feel so comfortable about my gender. I always have doubts and thinking Im going through a phase... But I think you truly described my own trans journey as well. I also first watched Fruits Baskets as well as Soul Eater and Crona being who I adored the most.
Yes, it is a phase. Don't ruminate or it will ruin your life like it did the creator of the video.
For me personally, I connected most with the goofy male protagonists or the introverted side male character. This always confused me when I was little because I hadn’t yet realized I was a trans man. The only female characters I ever connected with were ones commonly headcanoned as trans masculine by the fanbase. And without these shows as a kid which I connected with I don’t think I would have realized I was trans as early as I did.
Same honestly. I've always seen myself in the Male characters, even before I knew I was a guy too
You are not men and masculinity has nothing to do with anime character tropes
That’s because of a lack of variety in female representation in media. Not because you’re actually male. Thinking you’re male because you don’t fit the patriarchy’s view of female literally is just reinforcing patriarchy and heteronormativity.
It’s funny because Soul Eater was a huge part of my life and gender identity journey, mainly with Soul and Crona. It was way before I realized I was trans but I got major gender feelings from both of the characters, just in different ways as a non binary trans guy. Actually even Fruits Basket, as I read at an even younger age than when I got into Soul Eater, played a part in my gender journey mainly with Kyo as I really related to him in many ways.
Also I watched Evangelion at a pivotal point in my life where I was very depressed and going through gender stuff. Watching the end of it, I was with my brother out in a cabin with my family in the middle of nowhere and it sent me into a spiral until the early hours of the morning because of how much I related to Shinji. It really made me realize important things about myself and really woke me up from shit I was going through due to trauma and mental illness stuff.
Anywho, long ramble over, hope you have a good time at college!
For me it was ghost in the shell, having birth issues the thought of a prosthetic body and fixing whats wrong with me was cool, then my thoughts went to, "I could be a girl too". But then that got repressed by family, and now I'm 31 hoping I can find some sort of happiness... the journey begins.
Finally, someone else who deeply relates to Crona! God, I love them!
Crona’s gender is intentionally never mentioned or stated, while “nonbinary” and “genderfluid” are labels expressly used by people as self-identification. Conflating “gender-ambiguous” or “androgynous” with “nonbinary” or “genderfluid” is prejudiced.
@@cmyk8964 honestly i feel ya. I wish i was androgenous so that i can be perceived as whatever i want.
This is an INCREDIBLY helpful video. As someone currently questioning my gender, the combination of my relatability to you through anime and the statements and thoughts you explain really resonate with myself. It feels a little unknown, but it feels right. It's hard to strip away rigid social categories and express yourself freely with loosing some people you like or love. I also don't know where I'll go, but I'm still trying to go out of my comfort zone, if just once, and present myself as more feminine, but having people in my own home weighing me down is really difficult.
I want to leave a comment here as well, because I have been living under the demi-fluid/fluidflux label for a little while now and what you said at 14:37 literally hit me so hard. I barely know any creator or other that has a similar identity or experience and just knowing that there is someone feeling the literal same way makes me kinda emotional rn (in an overly positive way!) :')
Thank you so much for making that video, really
It really made my day :3
The fact that I can brighten peoples' day like this makes me very happy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video!
This video has given me a lot to think about. Thank you for that. I've struggled to feel comfortable with myself for a very long time, and now I think I understand why a little better. I won't go into details, but I just wanted you to know that this video has helped me a lot.
Very glad to hear I can help people
This was such a great video. Remarkable. I think you explaining how you view yourself through the lens of anime has really made me understand gender identity and the complexity others feel. We live in such a strict binary world, I think it really is challenging for non-queer people ( and even some queers) to understand what gender truly means and how everyone human is allowed their own form of expression. This video reminded me I still have a lot of learning to do even as a gay man but it has really opened my eyes. Loved this one! Truly beautiful.
Also we're the same age so I've loved watching you grow this whole time I've been subscribed to you and I hope your college experience is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing with us!💙💜💕
Thanks. It's always gratifying to hear that people are getting something meaningful out of my videos. And while I agree that our world is far from perfect in terms of queer acceptance, I do think we're moving in the right direction.
I dunno if you’ll see this, but thanks for making this. Watching this made me feel a bit more comfortable about my gender niche (or at least the one I aspire to be), which is very appreciated. The message at the end of “I don’t know if my identity will change, but that’s okay and I can’t wait to find out” at the end also meant a lot to me.
I hope you’ve been doing okay since you posted this. This is one of my favorite video essays, so thanks for creating it and putting it out there. 🙏
Oh I can absolutely relate to your experience, especially with what you said about wanting to look like virtually every character you've seen in anime lol. Coming at it from the other end (I'm somewhere along the lines of trans masc, not sure where exactly /shrug) I can definitely relate a lot!! And anime is definitely a cool medium for helping people figure out that like, hey, sometimes you want to be perceived one way and you have to fight for that! Honestly sports anime tend to be my guilty pleasure in terms of that theme-- because so often they're about a character rising above what everyone else thinks of them, and I can super super heavily relate to that.
Good luck with college btw!! I'm also moving out soon so I can relate to all that mess but also the excitement of getting to explore different ways of presenting yourself in a new place. I hope you have fun with it and find a way to present that makes you happy!! :D
Strangely enough for me it's the opposite, I always found it weird that I couldn't find myself in any of the character's, didn't really relate or want to look like them either, I thought they looked cool, but I never saw it as anything other than outside my self and outside possibility. Also transmasc btw. If anything it's not the look but the what. Like when tensei shitara slime datta ken my body envy had never been greater, god I wished I could be a slime blob with the ability to simulate a mostly humanlike body in any apparent sex I wanted. Oh and there's this youkai in nurarihyon no mago season 2 that was female at night and male at day (sex-wise) and damn did I want that as well at one point. But never related to stories or arcs of anyone, idk why
I can not understate how much I love Wonder Egg and Momoe. I’m non binary and trans fem and you’ve really did a good job verbalizing my thoughts on the story and her character. From not being 100% sure on who exactly she is as a character to the struggles and validation she is giving through the show. I’ve never connected to a character so much before and I’m so happy to see her (and land of the Lustrous) get so much love, especially through a queer lens.
looking back on it so many shows have influenced me and the way I present myself. Fruits basket is one of my favorite shows. I love both the original and the reboot. Yuki was always my favorite he still is, I recognize with him for some reason. Just seeing him being shown as this kid who is strong but shows emotions and can be feminine. It's the same with Kanji from Persona 4. Seeing this strong delinquent kid be able to have traditionally feminine interests and crush on Naoto before knowing she was a girl later accepting it as a part of himself was huge for me. Naoto looking back was similar. She obviously isn't done the best but she helped me see that I could present myself as masculine. Quarantine has made me see everything about myself differently. I've accepted who I am. Without these characters (and many more I can't think of) I can look back on, it would have taken so much longer to be comfortable without who I am.
Hey! You took the words out of my mouth. I really relate to your perspective on gender, I might also be gender fluid apparently? Thanks! This video is cool and you now have a new subscriber
ywnbaw + 52%
There's times I wish I was born in Gen Z. You're going to get to enjoy your transness more fully than a millennial like me, who only had the guts to start really exploring it the last few months at 32 - and that's all partly because of the safe spaces Gen Zers have helped created online. Can't wait to check out Wonder Egg, thank you for sharing.
Likewise but I feel like I wish I had the education that we do now about gender. I consider myself a trans man but I feel like I would have came to this conclusion sooner if I knew about gender that I do now.
This video was particularly resonant for me. Thanks for making it
ywnbaw + 52%
It isn't as forward in the anime as it is in the manga, but exploring queer gender identity and expression is absolutely one of the central themes of Land of the Lustrous. Usage of pronouns in certain contexts, drawing the same character in a variety of more stereotypically masc/femme ways. Struggling with identity and social purpose and how those things relate. (Plus the author has said so explicitly.) If you'd like, I did one video about gender in LotL a few years back, and I also used the themes of gender in that show to help discuss the themes of a recent story quest in the game warframe.
Thanks for making this video! I share your sentiments of the future. Good luck and never forget that fun is important!
First few seconds and I'm already hooked. Your description of your gender is almost exactly like how I feel about mine, except I use he/him when they/them isn't legally convenient. I've been looking for more anime and manga through which to explore my gender, so I'm incredibly excited for this video!
Okay, everything up until Soul Eater is my experience too. Had one ex show me Fruits Basket, had the same experience with it, and then same with Ouran High School Host Club. I'm definitely going to watch most of the rest of these some day, but I'll start with Soul Eater. Mostly for Crona.
Amazing video, I love your style and personality! Can't wait to look through the rest of your videos!
THIS was extremly helpful for me, as I am questioning my own gender. Thanks for that, and the recommendations :)
"2020"
"just finished up my junior year of high school"
let me tell you this was a SUCKER PUNCH like you're actually around MY age how do i keep forgetting that im not a literal child and people my age aren't either
Crona definitely had the same effect on me when I was a kid. I am a demiboy and they were one of the first characters that I consciously had gender envy for. I also related to them because of my issues with mental health and trauma. They are still to this day one of my favorite anime characters.
Grell from Black Butler also struck a chord with me growing up due to her constantly being misgendered and her struggles throughout the series.
Ooof yeah that was the one thing about Black Butler that caused me a lot of pain when I watched it, and I wasn't even out as trans to myself at the time.
@@DarthRayj same
So glad I'm not the only one who had fruits basket as part of their gender journey.
This was wonderful! I'm glad that you can find yourself in the stories being told in media. That's what art is supposed to do, regardless of when you find it in your life. It's a small pool of stories, granted, but the heart that bleeds through these pieces speaks volumes about the creators and teams that make them.
Lately I've been having a bit of a gender crisis, and I'm leaning towards the thought of being non binary. There's something so satisfactory and validating about seeing those identities (I'm bisexual) on screen portrayed properly. I'm new to anime, and I had a break of a long time, but the last few months I've seen 2 queer anime, and although they were not great, it made me excited. I will definitely check out these anime, especially the one with the trans girl (forgot the name sorry).
Thanks for sharing and inspiring
Yea
While I definitely think androgynous characters in anime, and especially femboys and characters whose gender ambiguity was either a running gag or an intentional secret, definitely influenced the way I view gender and my personal identity (currently identifying as agender), I know the exact moment it clicked for me that I might be nonbinary was when I watched Hoshiai no Sora. It seems to be just a typical sports anime on the surface, just a bunch of boys playing tennis, but in reality this show is more about coping with trauma and abuse, along with themes of found family. Basically, the plot is about this kid Maki who moved back to his childhood neighborhood and reunites with a childhood friend Touma as a classmate. There's also Maki's new neighbor Mitsue, also in their class, and Yuuta, Touma's friend and classmate. Touma is the captain of the boys' soft tennis club, which is notorious in their school for being a club full of lazy guys who can barely play the sport. With the club being threatened to shut down and no first years wanting to join this failing club, Touma's only hope was Maki, who wasn't in any club and had amazing reflexes. Maki initially says no, but Touma bribes him with money to join, since Maki comes from a financially unstable home and needs any extra money he could get. From there, the show goes back and forth between fun tennis shenanigans and personal drama including primarily child abuse, but also bullying, bad coping mechanisms and homophobia, all the while the club serves as an escape for these damaged kids who grow and develop with their club after Maki joined. Which leads me to episode 8. Due to not so relevant context, Maki and Yuuta have to dress up as girls, and Yuuta brings his sisters' clothes and even does the makeup. While changing and applying makeup, Yuuta asks Maki if it's weird he knows how to do something girly like makeup. Maki, who is absurdly observant, decides to tell Yuuta about his mom's trans friend, and how he was basically more of a father figure to him than the piece of shit sperm donor calling himself Maki's dad ever was. That's when Yuuta realizes that this is a safe space, and comes out as non-binary. No "I'm neither a boy nor a girl" bs, they say that they label themselves as non-binary, since the binary definitions of boy or girl don't quite fit them, and even "non-binary" is a loose fit and they only use it because they need some kind of label. It's the first time I've seen this sort of open and detailed discussion of gender identity in any media. Maki even asks them if they want him to refer to them by a name other than the masculine Yuuta, and they say they want to be called Yuu (which is a neutral name) instead. While the scene did resonate with me, I didn't fully understand why until I started rewatching that particular scene/episode again and again, because it just gave me so much comfort. And after that stage of denial where I just thought I related to the whole "not fitting the mold thing" and that it wasn't a gender thing, I realized that it was, in fact, a gender thing, and slowly began realizing that I'm not really comfortable being seen as a girl. I think it's the specific phrasing of that scene. Yuu said something among the lines of "Living as a boy brings me a lot of pain, but I'm not sure I want to be a girl either. I guess the closest word to describe what I'm feeling is non-binary, but even that doesn't sound quite right, but the world needs some kind of label". It's the realization that genders are all just labels anyway, and my gradual realization that I feel disconnected from the idea of gender in general.
Anime and it's related media helped me discover my asexuality. The anime that had the biggest impact for me was probably "Bloom into You." in retrospect, if I hadn't watched it and the Ace YT videos around it, I was already on the road to identifying as AroAce. It still holds an important spot in my heart tho.
I'm currently questioning my gender identity rn too and anime is definitely part of that ride. One of the biggest thing I look back on during my questioning is my relationship with shoujo manga and anime. I feel like there was this weird mix of projecting myself onto the heroine of these stories and some kind of attraction to them at the same time.
It's honestly weird looking back in retrospect tho, cus looking back it's like the logic part of my brain says "X, Y, and Z lead to a higher likelihood of falling under the genderqueer umbrella" but the emotional part of my brain just doesn't know what to think.
I think I may be Aro ace too! Not sure about the ace part but aro (or at least gray aro) is highly likely
Thank you for sharing your journey! I wish more people embraced and celebrated how the stories we are told and tell change us as people.
I like the way you talk about stuff, subbed xD
Yuuusssssssss
your part about Crona really really resonated with me. I never had the words to express how I felt about them, especially in relation to myself. You are very well spoken, great video
genderqueer here xD I have fond memories Soul Eater and remember when it came out back then. I think cosplay and anime together influenced a portion of my gender identity because when I got into cosplay I didn't care about the gender of the character I just wanted to cosplay them. Unfortunately I did catch alot of heat for it and anime on it's own since my parents were basically zealots. Whenever I talk of my experience with anime I always say YuGiOh unlocked the door and Shakugan no Shana opened it. Jounouchi was my favorite and I did cosplay him at a point later on. Would have loved to cosplay Yugi or Atem but for obvious reasons I was unable to xD When GX dropped I went on to cosplay multiple characters including my favorite of that YuGiOh run which was Manjoume. On the topic of Shakugan no Shana I have cosplayed Shana and Wilhelmina in the past but I have yet to give both characters a proper cosplay given the time frame being way when I first started out back in high school xD
Thank you so much for making this video and sharing this step of your journey! I hope you’ve continued to make progress on who you want to be and how you want people to see you since!
This video is beautiful, wonderful, and important. I relate to so many of the themes and experiences you mentioned in this video (as someone who identifies as demigirlflux). Thank you so much for making this video.
I don't know how you broke-and-entered into my RUclips reccs (I normally don't see much of any content about gender), but I'm so glad this video has reached me somehow. I've also found anime as an incredible tool to learn about myself and create connections, and it's always massively validating and interesting to find others with a similar journey; the Evangelion section in particular was really heartwarming and is something I can really relate to, as that was my first anime and the one which started driving me to take more control of my life and self. Not only do I feel like you've taken me on a fun, condensed journey through this aspect of your life and given me a couple new ideas for what to watch, but you've also taught me a few new things about what questioning one's gender can look like. I'm not sure I could've asked for a more fulfilling 20 minutes, so thank you!
I wish you could be my friend Kross or have someone like you in my life, i've never had anyone to talk seriously with about my gender,,, like a long good conversation......... the issue with my gender identity is that a lot of it is controlled by my fear, let me explain, for a very long time I identified as non-binary that was the first thing that got me started on my gender journey as time went on i slowly started moving towards being seen as much more feminine, so many things lean towards wanting to identify as a woman, or at least have my gender be a woman and look as much like a woman as possible and let people use whatever my pronouns are..... my issue is whenever someone insults someone who is MTF or i hear something bad about someone who is MTF its never good shit in the news! its always terrible shit! and we're always just seen as these men who just wear dresses and makeup and make it seem like none of us will ever pass and that makes me feel like shit!!!!!!!.
Until one day I was playing through Persona 4 dancing all night with a friend of mine and he compared me to Naoto and that felt so good......... words can't explain how it felt but it felt amazing and it felt right.... i can be androgynous still but I can identify as a woman... I say my pronouns are they/she or she/they the priority flip flops a lot because when I hear something about MTF people I hide away....... that hide away for me is non binary, for some reason when I identify as non binary things dont hurt anymore, words don't hurt no matter what people say, but when i go back to trying to present much more feminine and female it hurts when someone's says something.
It also doesn't help that there are not many good trans woman in any form of media and games there are so many SO MANY gender non confirming characters in anime that can be perceived as non binary or agender and that makes me feel like shit i feel like there is no good representation of trans woman in anime, they are always played off as traps or femboys, the gender non confirming people and non binary people get all the spot light, even in games like apex legends and borderlands...... i have an issue of projecting myself into characters I see and I see myself in them, I feel like I cant do that for girl characters as much because I just dont feel like a girl its a non stop ping pong.... I'd say I identify as non binary but at the same time I wouldn't mind being called a woman, sometimes I think Its just fear, fear is controlling me from becoming what I want, I have dreams about being a girl, me having a girls body, me looking like a girl, these people that I think are my friends running their fingers through my hair saying im such a pretty girl all of these dreams create a feeling that I can't explain besides a rush of tingles and euphoria....... how many more signs do i need for me to stop being a coward and go through with my transition.... hell im even on HRT im taking the exact path a trans woman would but until i get this damn fear under control and not let people's opinions on what I am change what I identify as ill never know what my gender is..... its hell Kross... its hell I need more trans friends, i need some sort of guidance
I'm probably going to delete this comment at some point, but I hope you can at least read it at some point
hey i know i'm very much late to this comment, but i'm hoping you're well.
i can totally understand the fear. it's very hard to ignore when you're questioning your gender. for me, when i first started questioning my gender i only considered being trans femme since that was what i had to most exposure to and that's what all my non-cis friends were. and it fit me to an extent, but i felt that same push back whenever i saw any hate or other terrible shit being flung towards any MTF people. for a while i kept a journal where i would rate where i was on the masculinity to femininity scale for that day (i now believe that such a thing oversimplified the issue and doesn't accurately portray gender as an issue, but i digress) and it was super easy to track the days when i perceived myself as more masculine as the days when i saw something in media that scared me away from the idea of being MTF.
for me what really helped was just finding people who were confidently MTF and talking to them. it didn't matter if it was online in an LGBT community, real life with friends, or whatever. just being exposed to their genuine assurance made me feel more confident in myself. through that assurance i was able to more accurately assess where i was and how i was feeling without my decisions being dictated by fear and it was much easier for me to work out how i *truly* felt with no bias.
i'll be honest, i still don't know where i stand. if put under pressure i wouldn't be able to pick a label and feel like it fits me. i currently go by he/they and it's good enough for me at the moment, but who knows where the wind will take me.
again, hope you're well, and if this is still an issue for you, i hope that i could show you that you are definitely 100% not alone. there are so many people who feel exactly how you do who are totally up for a conversation or a chat. just keep being you my friend, all that can be asked of you is that you try to be the best you that you can possibly be :)
Your breakdown of Crona and Soul Eater was perfect for describing my experience with the show as well! Especially with Crona, because I got it from a friend on a flashdrive, they always threw me for a loop because the subtitles referred to them as male one episode and female in their next appearance.
But I was really more influenced by Magical Girl shows like those that appeared on 4Kids like "Winx Club" and "Magical Do Re Mi."
Crona is a dude in the JP, the subs suck
I only found out I was nonbinary about a year ago but looking back, I probably would've found out sooner if I had any LGBT education growing up. I've always hyperfixated on androgynous characters like crona from soul eater and Naoto from persona. I loved they felt neither masculine or feminine and were free from the oppressive gender roles I felt in my life. Nowadays I'm working on feminizing my voice and writing queer characters.
Listening to you talk about doubting the sincerity of intentions in media is such a real thing, especially with cultural differences and judging whether or not one is looking too deep into something.
I love this video because not only do I get to see a part of yourself that I never got to see before, but it gets me thinking about the shows I’ve watched and which ones I subconsciously used to help explore my own identity.
This video is amazing
Up until now I had no idea why or how people identified as genderfluid, but the way you describe it makes perfect sense
Most videos about lgbt representation in media feel preachy and politicised, so it's great to watch one that isn't like that at all
The only people that politicize us just living our life are bigots.
The only reason I personally would get preachy is because of how myself and non-cishet people as a whole have been treated for forever for just wanting to live in peace.
Also, your wording is literally saying "ya know you're one of the good ones" to Kross. I know you most likely don't mean it that way, but it definitely sounds like it.
I my not be gender fluid but can relate to some of what the person in the video was saying. Like how she/they wanted to dress up as Maka for Halloween. I wanted to be Ryko from Kill la kill (even though I am a cis male)
I'm probably like 16 older than you and am going through similar experience! I'm glad I found you here! You have a great way with words!
Have a great time in college ! always live your best life!
Wow... I feel so lucky that the algorithm brought me here. I am so happy for you going through this journey and facing this at the end of your teens, rather than the beginning of your 30s like me. I have a lot of similar feelings and a similar connection to different anime but it feels like we took the same trip in different locations. I will be joining your Patreon as soon as I get on desktop and I am excited to see more of your videos
Btw, music in this video was super cool
Good video. I relate that I want to be seen as an individual and not the stereotypes that are defined by my physical appearance/assigned gender
hey kross!! this video sat in my watch later for forever, and honestly i’m glad i waited as long as i did to watch it. i’ve recently been journaling a lot about my own gender identity and gendered experiences and sort of trying to draw my own conclusions about myself, my identity, the way that people in the south (in the US) perceive gender roles, etc and it has been super helpful for me. i actually came to a lot of the same ideas that you described in this video; but i think it was helpful for me to come to them on my own. that being said i still thoroughly enjoyed the video of course :) i’ve shifted my perspective on gender recently from “i need to be called these pronouns or look this way to be validated” to “i am valid the way i am, gender is just a lens thru which people view me (and i view myself)”. that’s a vast oversimplification, but it seems like your exploration of your gender thru anime led you thru a similar journey. it’s really reassuring to know other people out there have similar experiences. i’ve never actually considered anime as an influence on my gender identity in the way you do in this video, but i may do some writing about that very thing now - i’m curious!! anyway, thanks for making this video and being part of my journey in discovering my identity. hope college is going well!! (realized we’re the same age when u said smth abt junior year in the video lmao. wild)
Thank you for sharing your experiences in a way that so many people can understand. This was a powerful video. I wish you all the best at college x
21:29 "Whether I end going completely trans female, sticking with genderfluid, or identifying as the fourth ring of Saturn."
Of all things that you said, aside from many, many good points, that line made me laugh the most. The unexpectedness of it is just a genuine gold moment.
hi. I know this video is from like 9 months ago but I just got recommended it today, at 1 am. I relate to a lot of the topics in this video, and although I haven’t gotten as far in my journey as you have, I can heavily relate to the themes you discuss. i also happened to be a junior in high school when the pandemic shut everything down, and ever since I graduated high school around a year ago I’ve had the feeling that I got robbed of a very important developmental time of my life. isolation made me evaluate a lot of things and learn more about myself and who I am then I probably wanted to know. thank you for the watch.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people out age are going to have more of complicated relationship with isolation due to the pandemic hitting in our teen years. I'm sure you'll figure everything out, though!
While I do think WEG's finale fell incomplete and cliffhanger-ish, it was an experience I'll never forget.
Okay sort of off topic but I really love your voice, have you considered voice acting Kross?? You totally have the voice of an anime character and I love it so much.
omg really!? That's so nice!
I actually did do a little voice acting for a friend's school project. They had to take a scene from a movie and recreate all the audio from scratch. Music, sfx, voice acting, etc. (They were in an audio engineering class)
Anyway, funnily enough, they chose a scene from the Evangelion Rebuild 1.0 and I voiced a few of Maya Ibuki's lines! I thought it turned out pretty good, but I'd definitely need a lot more practice before doing any "professional" VA work.
Thanks for the compliment!
i am gendefluid as well, and i deeply relate to how you ensembled (? your gender identity through the media you´ve been consuming all your life. many people might thinks it´s dumb (mostly, cishet people, shocking) but it makes so much sense !
Love it. Whole thing. Each and every anime and you. Love it all
I want to say first that I also moved states to go to college and think it was one of the best decision I have ever made, I hope you also find the experience very rewarding! I really appreciated that you were able to concisely sum up a lot of feelings that I feel about transgender acceptance in one video. Best of luck on wherever life brings you!
I can tell that you’re very smart and you explain yourself very well. Good luck on figuring out who you are.
Btw I love Eva too. It’s my all time favorite anime and in my top 3 favorite shows of all time. And I also love land of the lustrous lol.
I’m really glad someone took the time to explain this to me. As kid I was really into anime and so I had a lot of friends at school who were really into anime as well. I’ve watched almost all of them come out as trans/gender neutral which I think is great… but I had always wondered how anime brought them to that conclusion.
Thanks for putting into words why anime can be so important to exploring gender!
(Edit: I myself am a lesbian who feels more gender neutral although I don’t mind my assigned pronouns either…. Anyways I just wanted to say that all the anime’s you mentioned are ones we watched as well so that’s interesting that these pieces of media all spoke to queer children in one way or another)
BANGER VIDEO ALERT🔥🔥🔥🗣🗣🗣
no
@@CoolestSwordFighter why u like ur own comment bro
I appreciate this video a lot! I feel like with the topic of Identity, and especially self-exploration, people will explain why their viewpoint is the only way or how it is the best way but this felt completely informational and not pushy at all. Interesting concept, and eye opening as an average male who has never struggled with identity problems like these.
the revelation at the end of Evangelion is the lesson Subaru learned in Arc 3 of Re:Zero
Wow, the wonder egg priority part of this vid really made me feel things
And the summary after it, explaining the contrast between how wonder egg and evangelion colored your perception of gender really- wow, i koved that.
I really appreciate this video as someone who just graduated my senior year of high school. 2020 was the year I started to truly question my gender, and when you brought up Crona that solidified how I had felt growing up watching Soul Eater as a child, and always having this fascination with them that I couldn’t tell which category they belonged in. Even though they used masculine pronouns on them throughout the show, they also wore a dress and that made me feel validated in a way? I’ve finally found out for myself that I’m genderfluid, which is an identity I personally haven’t discovered in any media at all, but I’m still young and there are new things to look forward to in the future. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s really nice to hear about someone else going through similar thought processes as yourself 💛
I feel like I have come to the same conclusion and point you had met with Evangalion, but instead with Persona 5 , with the perceptions of others+society being through masks/personas and how the "self" plays around with them, which has been formative in how I've seen myself in many regards, including gender
I'm personally transgender Male-to-Female as I remembered and had experienced growing gender dysphoria as I had began to question myself in High School in my first ever year in 2017 to 2018. I had felt uncomfortable around the majority of my male friends and peers where I had been much more comfortable and at home with my female friends and peers. I felt really uncomfortable in the locker room of males and just felt dysphoric in my body. I had then began to question my very identity for years as I had also ALWAYS played females in any game given the choice of male or female including Destiny 2, Pokemon, D&D, etc. I also was very comfortable in all honesty in women's clothes stores. Then I had searched up gender affirming surgery and started watching videos of it at 14-15. I pushed my growing dysphoria and sense of incongruence down until 2021 to now where I found myself to be pansexual in Summer 2021 and then felt the dysphoria again this time much harder to ignore. I officially questioned myself and came out from June from Enby when I had questioned to now Transgender Woman in September 2022. I have mainly felt uncomfortable with my name and pronouns for a long time and The Owl House helped me. My Autism also plays a large role due to the fact that ASD individuals are not straight and most likely to be transgender. Due to my ASD's tendency to lie, my family isn't convinced I am transgender and doesn't use my pronouns (she/her & they/them) while I haven't told them of my name I use now even though my birthname is gender-neutral. I'm honestly a Lesbian Transgender Girl who is waiting for the time to talk to my doctors of transitioning and self-discovery as well as I feel gender dysphoria every day currently.
My name is Eriana and media like The Cat Returns, Mitchells vs Machines, Barbie, The Owl House, and others have really helped cement my own interpretation of my identity as a transgender MTF woman tomboy. I also used to hate my longer-ish hair but I no longer do and hate that I'm forced into male haircuts and stuff.
Im 14 mtf .
How did you have the Courage to come out and how did you do it? (specificly when u came out as an enby for the first time)
❤
@@Ivory-f5b It was 2022 Summer that I came out...unfortunately my life as a neurodivergent transgirl really fucks with everything as it just gets super complicated. My family isn't transphobic but they don't believe me due to my innate ability to lie due to my Autism. At first I had thought I was non-binary in June when I had came out to myself thinking Iwas, but then as I progressed through the months, I remembered more and more of my own life as a high schooler, friends, gaming experiences, etc. It was then in September that I had finally accepted that I was a transwoman. I've honestly been transgender for FARRRRR longer than I have initially thought as I had thought of that I was trans MtF in first year high school as a 14-15 year old in 2017. I just pushed the feelings down and such which in turn, over time and the years, made my dysphoria worse. I have also read a lot of sources from medical professionals in which each different age gap has a similar process, except for adult transgender individuals where it was COMPLETELY and UNIQUELY personal for the individual to come out as transgender/ The first step is coming out to yourself which takes so much courage and thought.
I have not been seen as truly a transwoman yet by my family, but soon, they will when I make some doctor's appointments.
ywnbaw + 52%
@@CoolestSwordFighter ?
@@yeayeayeah933 is there something wrong with it?
I never thought in a million years that i'd find a video that descibes my experience in exploring my gender so similarly
From how Crona was your first exposure to androgyny, to how in high school you started questioning your gender identity and finally got around to expressing yourself
I mean like nearly everything you've said i relate to on a personal level
Anime has been one of the biggest influences on me in general, from my hobbies and interests, down to my gender and presentation, but i never thought there was someome else who felt the same
(Still unsure of a label atm but def not cis, about to start my junior year of HS)
I my not be gender fluid but I can at least relate to some of this video too
Seeing gren in the jupiter jazz episode from cowboy bebop when I was 12 had the same effect on me that crona had on you. Had no concept of androgyny previously
off topic, but i would highly recommend you to watch kaiba. this anime has helped me with my gender exploration a lot, and the basic idea is that people in this universe are able to extract and store memories in chips, allowing them to transfer those memories between bodies, decontextualizing them. as a result, the idea of gender is almost non-existent. it's that thought of basically inserting your mind into someone else's body that made me go feral lol. heck, there's even a planet where people rock designer bodies that look nothing like humans. also, the amnesiac protagonist searching for their identity is cliche as hell, but it feels oddly comforting.
Yes! Anything made by Masaaki Yuasa is worth a shot.
Bravo, Kross! You are eloquent, positive and informative on the subject of gender fluidity and how anime illuminated your journey. I will be checking out more of your work.
For now. Have a like and a sub.
Appreciate the compliments! Hope you find more stuff you enjoy!
Okay but your sisters anime recommendations? Absolutely fire
The anime character that helped me figure out was enby was Grelle Sutcliffe from black butler. And now she is my favorite black butler character.
Love this look into how anime helped you on your journey! Good luck going forward!
This is an amazing video. Over the last year I've come to the conclusion that I'm trans and something that had helped me realize that is yellow from pokemon adventures.
When reading that manga I strongly related to yellow and I couldn't figure out why, they seemed so different from other characters that I allowed my self to relate to and I didn't get why no other character had connected with me like that.
Then i relaised, I didn't allow myself to relate to female characters becauze I had always thought that was wrong. I allowed myself to relate to yellow because I thought she was a boy and that helped me realize I want to be a girl.
pokemon adventures is based
Soul Eater was so important to me in so many facets of my existence- it’s really a special show
I’m a cis woman and crona is still one of my favorite characters. Their story and personality has really touched me in ways I can’t rly understand or describe. I just know that I love this character sm and want them to be happy and healthy forever 🤍
aight so how many people got this in their recommended and thought "I hate how well the algorithm knows me"
sweet vid btw
Okay. The Fourth Ring of Saturn was my favorite part. Not the First, not the Second or Tird.
I find it interesting learning about other people's perspectives on life. Yours will make a fine addition to my collection.