This song resonates with me in a way that very few have. It's so poignantly sad; you feel the despair in her voice and the lyricism. As someone with "complicated" substance abuse issues, specifically alcoholism, I know exactly what she's talking about and it's incredibly realistic. Not liking what you see, being stuck on meds you don't even like in the first place, walking on the side of a sketchy road during nighttime, self-harm, and just total hatred of yourself. You know you're not totally far gone, and yet you keep doing things that make your life worse. It's the only song that truly makes me burst into tears each time I listen. But what I think drove me back to this song was a recent experience with my dad. He came to visit me for the first time in a year, and it was amazing - except I drank so much, I literally pissed myself on the floor multiple nights in a row. A new thing for me. But the sad thing was that I wanted him over to keep me in check, and even that wasn't enough. That's what really let me know I straight-up cannot drink alcohol. He was very supportive and tried offering me help, but this time from a place of compassion. We had gotten into fights before, about this exact thing even, so seeing him be empathetic like this REALLY changed my perspective on him and my substance abuse. He's a stand-up guy. I can stop lying to myself once and for all. I came back to this song again based on the weekend, and it unlocked a new meaning. I just want someone to "take me home" and nurture me. I want to be able to admit where I'm a total mess without feeling ashamed. And most of all, I ACTUALLY want to quit drinking. I'm right before the point where I'm too far gone to quit, which will make this whole thing extremely hard, but I have hope. I'm putting all the anger behind me, because it's not worth it. Neither is alcohol.
Much love to your friend, her family, and you. It's never easy but life is a wild ride. Some of us are fortunate enough to make it through and the rest are fortunate enough to have those that will keep their memory alive. All the best my guy...
“But I’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me...” god damn that’s beautiful. Thank you SO much Julien. Your a blessing. :) I’m praying for you to find happiness.
I must be a masochist to listen to this beautiful song on repeat and cry helplessly before 9 AM. I have never encountered anything quite like her before.
Agreed. I just found her and I have to say I’ve never cried for an artist before but she just has a way with words that sucks you in, makes you feel her pain, and then leaves you to cry over your torn heat strings. Love her so much...
I put together the music for my brother’s funeral and I put this as the final song that was played in the service. I’ve avoided listening to it since 2018 because every time I listen to it I cried. Tonight I listen to it in honour of my brother, who suffered from manic depression and some substance abuse issues. He also was not taking his meds, he said they made him feel like a zombie. He was the best Big Brother because he loved me unconditionally. Rest in peace Yulian.
The performance is such a nakedly raw display of pain that the small audience falters to clap because after witnessing the suffering in someone’s soul how can you clap for that? This song is beautiful.
Damn I tear up every time she finishes the first verse. Just the way she sings, "I'm sorry for asking, please come take me home," makes me want to give her a hug and say it will be okay. She's so special.
People like to think music like this is "boring," (and to be fair, I have heard artists in this genre whose music is basically just Generic Sadness™ multiplied) but I pity the people who attribute her music this way because I wish they could hear what I hear when I listen to Julien's music. It's rare to hear an artist whose music sews itself into the fabric of your soul. But I'm here to let you know, if you weren't aware already: you're looking at one of them. Godspeed, Julien. Never stop. I hope I'll always get to hear the sound of your sewing machine. ♡
KP Everlark I only just found Julien’s music last year by chance...and since then her music is literally the soundtrack to my life at times...I’m not saying I’m depressed or anything but just how raw, emotional and relatable her music is..top that with the fact she’s only one year older than me..I’m 23, and also the true conviction and emotions she expresses in all of her performances hit it just hits home for me Every Single Time!! I also loved her collaboration with Lucy Dacus and Phoebe Bridgers in their “supergroup” boygenius!! That’s how I came to find Julien’s solo music and also I grew very fond of Phoebe Bridgers solo stuff aswell simply because she too, had the same raw, relatable emotional expressions with the songs she writes and I really like it because it helps me move through this crazy world and thing called “Adulthood” lol as cheesy as that sounds 😂
@@treybigswan6547 I only just saw this somehow - sorry! Yes, I discovered Julien in a very similar way! I watched boygenius's Tiny Desk performance out of boredom one day and was absolutely floored, so I went on a binge listening session, and the rest is history. Phoebe + Julien = sure fire way to make me a big emotional mess for sure hahah
KP Everlark that makes two of us bud!! I mean when I listen to em by themselves it floors me but them together in Boygenius it is literally Angels singing
This is so good, but man, it's completely heart-wrenching. From the few videos I've seen, this is definitely the most emotional performance of this song I've seen and it's almost three years old.
I sometimes wonder, of those of us suffering with mental health issues; who has the better deal? The talented people like Julien who have a means of expressing their thoughts and feelings or those of us without such talent, but who live in a world basking in the gifts of the art of such people. The answer of course is both. I’d hate to feel this way and not know Julien’s music.
Damn near breaks your heart, doesn't it? I absolutely love her voice.. her song is beautiful. kinda brought back some old shit I dealt w/ .. a lot of the times I felt just as her song. Absolutely precious!
Goosebumps im covered in...I can't even.. every fiber of my feels have been touched and felt. I just found you in the most random way and just felt you were a soul i had to hear. My youngest of 4..my 7 year old son Hudson is home from school with me today he has cystic fibrosis...he's my lil old soul amd your voice has hit his lil heart too. You got us blubbering like babies. You are one lil magical humam. THANK YOU
I discovered her on Spotify a few weeks ago, and I can't believe it. Her melodies are so haunting, her words so honest and simple. A true vulnerable artist.
The agony, the emotions, is just the perfect harmony of the lonelyness and pain that I've been going through. thank you so much for giving a voice to all these feelings.
Yeah, like, her face at 3:34 or whatever, it's crushing. V sad. The bit that gets me is just before it fades to black where she looks like she cracks her knuckles. Looks so vulnerable and shy.
I just lost my dog and she was my everything. Saved me from myself with my PTSD problems, saved me from a gas leak at home, and was my little adventure mate. She was my heart and my home. All I can keep saying is "I wanna go home to my ZaZa." This song destroyed me on a good day so idk what I was thinking.
Although they possess so many differences, musically, Julien and PJ Harvey are similar in many ways. My “drug of choice” is Thrash Metal but I’ve such an appreciation for this young ladies music. So personal and genuine!
I went walking again I'll go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going I'm just drunk on the side of the road in a ditch when you find me - I wanna go home, but I'm sick There's more whiskey than blood in my veins More tar than air in my lungs The strung out call I make Burned down on the edge of the highway "I'm sorry for asking, but please, come take me home" I quit talking again But I know you're still listening to see if I sleep or I pierce my skin Needles to the worn out rags The folds in my arms, the sickening black And I haven't been taking my meds Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see And I haven't been taking my meds So lock all the cabinets, and send me to bed Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared again And make my insides clean with your kitchen bleach But I've kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me And I know my body is just dirty clothes; I'm tired of washing my hands God, I wanna go home
VOCE ME ENCANTA MENINA QQ ISSO ACHEI ALGUEM QUE ME CAUSA OS MESMO ARREPIOS QUE O BEN HOWARD! YOU SEND SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE, GIRL YOU SHINE SO BRIGTH YOUR VOICE SMELLS LIKE THE SUN INTO MY SOUL!
This song resonates with me in a way that very few have. It's so poignantly sad; you feel the despair in her voice and the lyricism. As someone with "complicated" substance abuse issues, specifically alcoholism, I know exactly what she's talking about and it's incredibly realistic.
Not liking what you see, being stuck on meds you don't even like in the first place, walking on the side of a sketchy road during nighttime, self-harm, and just total hatred of yourself. You know you're not totally far gone, and yet you keep doing things that make your life worse. It's the only song that truly makes me burst into tears each time I listen.
But what I think drove me back to this song was a recent experience with my dad. He came to visit me for the first time in a year, and it was amazing - except I drank so much, I literally pissed myself on the floor multiple nights in a row. A new thing for me. But the sad thing was that I wanted him over to keep me in check, and even that wasn't enough. That's what really let me know I straight-up cannot drink alcohol. He was very supportive and tried offering me help, but this time from a place of compassion. We had gotten into fights before, about this exact thing even, so seeing him be empathetic like this REALLY changed my perspective on him and my substance abuse. He's a stand-up guy. I can stop lying to myself once and for all.
I came back to this song again based on the weekend, and it unlocked a new meaning. I just want someone to "take me home" and nurture me. I want to be able to admit where I'm a total mess without feeling ashamed. And most of all, I ACTUALLY want to quit drinking. I'm right before the point where I'm too far gone to quit, which will make this whole thing extremely hard, but I have hope. I'm putting all the anger behind me, because it's not worth it. Neither is alcohol.
You are good and loved. Hope you're doing well, friend.
At 3:28 she looks like she's physically hit by her own lyrics. A blessing and curse to be able to put your own feelings into words the way she does.
Definitely picked up on that…. She’s holding back tears at the end
AMEN!
I found out tonight than an old friend decided to leave this world to find another. This video was her last post. That's what brought me here.
Damn
Much love to your friend, her family, and you. It's never easy but life is a wild ride. Some of us are fortunate enough to make it through and the rest are fortunate enough to have those that will keep their memory alive. All the best my guy...
same :(
I'm sorry 😢❤️
Even two years gone, I’m sending you and yours love and light. I hope your friend found peace. I hope we all do.
nothing like listening to this at 2 am and trying to finish my overdue assignments through a haze of tears
“But I’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me...” god damn that’s beautiful. Thank you SO much Julien. Your a blessing. :) I’m praying for you to find happiness.
"You're"
@@boleros013”you’re” annoying
I must be a masochist to listen to this beautiful song on repeat and cry helplessly before 9 AM. I have never encountered anything quite like her before.
Agreed. I just found her and I have to say I’ve never cried for an artist before but she just has a way with words that sucks you in, makes you feel her pain, and then leaves you to cry over your torn heat strings. Love her so much...
Or you're just human.
I put together the music for my brother’s funeral and I put this as the final song that was played in the service.
I’ve avoided listening to it since 2018 because every time I listen to it I cried. Tonight I listen to it in honour of my brother, who suffered from manic depression and some substance abuse issues. He also was not taking his meds, he said they made him feel like a zombie.
He was the best Big Brother because he loved me unconditionally. Rest in peace Yulian.
Hi Sean. I’ve had several friends leave this world by their own means. They loved us and we’ll respect them by doing what we do
Your brother still loves you always
The face she makes at the end kills me. I wanna hug her. Incredible artist
It looks like she's trying not to cry at the end there. Don't worry. We're all crying.
Thanks
Completely bawling. I only listen to this when things have built up for so long that I need to let go.
Damn... Just discovered Julien today. I got goosebumps and heavy heart. That voice. That presence. So much talent here. Cheers from France.
You should look for (The UnLocked Sessions: Julien Baker - "Vessels") on here, it's another really good one
The performance is such a nakedly raw display of pain that the small audience falters to clap because after witnessing the suffering in someone’s soul how can you clap for that?
This song is beautiful.
Damn I tear up every time she finishes the first verse. Just the way she sings, "I'm sorry for asking, please come take me home," makes me want to give her a hug and say it will be okay. She's so special.
People like to think music like this is "boring," (and to be fair, I have heard artists in this genre whose music is basically just Generic Sadness™ multiplied) but I pity the people who attribute her music this way because I wish they could hear what I hear when I listen to Julien's music.
It's rare to hear an artist whose music sews itself into the fabric of your soul. But I'm here to let you know, if you weren't aware already: you're looking at one of them. Godspeed, Julien. Never stop. I hope I'll always get to hear the sound of your sewing machine. ♡
KP Everlark I only just found Julien’s music last year by chance...and since then her music is literally the soundtrack to my life at times...I’m not saying I’m depressed or anything but just how raw, emotional and relatable her music is..top that with the fact she’s only one year older than me..I’m 23, and also the true conviction and emotions she expresses in all of her performances hit it just hits home for me Every Single Time!! I also loved her collaboration with Lucy Dacus and Phoebe Bridgers in their “supergroup” boygenius!! That’s how I came to find Julien’s solo music and also I grew very fond of Phoebe Bridgers solo stuff aswell simply because she too, had the same raw, relatable emotional expressions with the songs she writes and I really like it because it helps me move through this crazy world and thing called “Adulthood” lol as cheesy as that sounds 😂
@@treybigswan6547 I only just saw this somehow - sorry! Yes, I discovered Julien in a very similar way! I watched boygenius's Tiny Desk performance out of boredom one day and was absolutely floored, so I went on a binge listening session, and the rest is history. Phoebe + Julien = sure fire way to make me a big emotional mess for sure hahah
KP Everlark that makes two of us bud!! I mean when I listen to em by themselves it floors me but them together in Boygenius it is literally Angels singing
There is nothing boring about this unless it’s boring into your soul...this is art, poetry and desperation I know all those things.
Criminally underrated artist in my opinion. Song still gets me every time.
Julien, you're able to explain emotions that took me over 20 years just to understand. You're amazing!
she nailed it.
utterly moving.
This is so good, but man, it's completely heart-wrenching. From the few videos I've seen, this is definitely the most emotional performance of this song I've seen and it's almost three years old.
She’s got this amazing, raw, emotive quality about her. It just tugs at you. Truly, a gifted artist
i've been listenening and replaying this for the past half hour. ridiculous talent
In case anyone wants to cover this amazing piece of awesomeness, the chords are E, A, C#m, A, repeat. Good luck!
Mypetmonkey92 oh my gosh thank you
THANK YOU!!
chords can be covered, but the emotions aint...
I'm not crying, you're crying.
I think about this comment every time I listen to this song
Damn it, you're right.
i AM crying.
You're right I am crying
I'm sorry, but I just can't stop laughing. Nailed it
I am legit sobbing. This is incredible.
Same. Wow. Impressive. Share her story in ways
There's something so incredibly powerful about a young artist whose so purely found their own unique voice and feeling in music.
This song overwhelms me and I feel everything all at once.
When she says please come take me home all I can feel and think is please God take me let me leave let me die please just take me home.
I sometimes wonder, of those of us suffering with mental health issues; who has the better deal? The talented people like Julien who have a means of expressing their thoughts and feelings or those of us without such talent, but who live in a world basking in the gifts of the art of such people. The answer of course is both. I’d hate to feel this way and not know Julien’s music.
Damn near breaks your heart, doesn't it? I absolutely love her voice.. her song is beautiful. kinda brought back some old shit I dealt w/ .. a lot of the times I felt just as her song. Absolutely precious!
oh, gosh. I felt this in the inner core of my heart..
To say that this track is her most beautiful offering to date would be arguable but I’m in the mood for an argument.
Sour breath brooooo
Goosebumps im covered in...I can't even.. every fiber of my feels have been touched and felt. I just found you in the most random way and just felt you were a soul i had to hear. My youngest of 4..my 7 year old son Hudson is home from school with me today he has cystic fibrosis...he's my lil old soul amd your voice has hit his lil heart too. You got us blubbering like babies. You are one lil magical humam. THANK YOU
I love that you type like yoda. I do the same... a lot of the time. I’ve never seen Star Wars but I know he says sentences In reverse. This song...
God damn. This song gets me every time. Utterly heartbreaking, and so beautiful.
I discovered her on Spotify a few weeks ago, and I can't believe it. Her melodies are so haunting, her words so honest and simple. A true vulnerable artist.
"I'm alone again and I don't like the things that I see". Story of my life
I'm addicted to sad music, and I'm in love with Julien Baker.
The agony, the emotions, is just the perfect harmony of the lonelyness and pain that I've been going through. thank you so much for giving a voice to all these feelings.
Hey I don't know you but everything is gonna be alright 🖤
She sings and play the way I feel; a way that inspires me to start learning to play the piano again and stick with it
i mean, how could one NOT be in love with her
Please know that someone you havent even met yet loves you ❤
this song has stayed in the back of my mind. powerful stuff for those who can relate
Her face at 3:32 breaks my heart
+James Sherlock everytime.
Every one of her facial expressions when she sings is heart breaking.
She definitely feels her music. No doubt about that. Genuine
yeah, wow.
really shows the emotion in her music, what an incredible artist she is
I'm alone again, and I don't like the things I see... I feel you, Julien. I really do.
As always a beautiful sound from her
Wow. Pretty sure I'm going to watch this song dozens of times.
Okay, I've listened to this song like 20 times this weekend. Best song of all time.
you go mike
are we still counting?
@@raveandsweets I've certainly lost count...
i really want to just give her a big hug and tell her i know how she feels :(
💔
She's the greatest musician I've ever heard
I love her. My inspiration. She is so well spoken and freakin cool !
So much emotion, in so young a soul.
Yeah, like, her face at 3:34 or whatever, it's crushing. V sad. The bit that gets me is just before it fades to black where she looks like she cracks her knuckles. Looks so vulnerable and shy.
Damn, I felt it when she felt it. Amazing. ♡
this song fucks me up holy jesus i was not meant to start crying
Such a beautiful sound that breaks me down every-time I hear it .....
Bravissima Julien.....Piccola ma con grande Sentimento ...molto brava.....complimenti per le cuffie le mie preferite ..Ciao...............
please come to the UK, Julien!
Heads up! she's just announced a UK tour!
infinite simal FUCK. YES.
infinite simal Oh, and thanks ha ha
I just lost my dog and she was my everything. Saved me from myself with my PTSD problems, saved me from a gas leak at home, and was my little adventure mate. She was my heart and my home. All I can keep saying is "I wanna go home to my ZaZa." This song destroyed me on a good day so idk what I was thinking.
What an awesome song and performance. Julien is a *genius. 🙌
In touch with raw emotion. Pure quality
i have had such a huge crush on this girl for awhile lol her face at 3:34 crushes me hugely
Me too. Isn't she a lesbian?
Unbelievable. This song has helped me through incredibly hard times. X
Oh. My. God. I’m speechless. Her music has a way of setting my fucking soul on fire.
Omg. I'm struggling with addiction... again. This is so fucking beautiful and sad and I can't stop crying.
Oh, I love her and her music so much!!
This is so beautiful, it made me cry.
Serious talent with this one
Oh my god this is beautiful
This is a wonderful song, so much emotion, great feeling.
Did she write the song too? Seems the lyrics are mature beyond her years.
God... The way she clutched her hand in the end.
What a great talent this young lady really isn't she.
So beautiful.
Although they possess so many differences, musically, Julien and PJ Harvey are similar in many ways. My “drug of choice” is Thrash Metal but I’ve such an appreciation for this young ladies music. So personal and genuine!
I heart her.
Yo, Audiotree. Are there hard copies available for this session or is it all download?
+David Ruf No hard copies, unfortunately. Download only.
Poopy. Guess I'll have to flash drive it. Thanks for the response. :D
Sometime with the last five months this session became available for download.
It's on Itunes now too.
That's super cool.
Serpents Sharon van Erton
I hope wherever my brother is, he doesn't feel scared.
brb crying:,)
Man the second verse so moving
Brilliant!
For fucks sake, this absolutely railroads me
God, Thank you for your music🥺
I went walking again
I'll go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going
I'm just drunk on the side of the road in a ditch when you find me -
I wanna go home, but I'm sick
There's more whiskey than blood in my veins
More tar than air in my lungs
The strung out call I make
Burned down on the edge of the highway
"I'm sorry for asking, but please, come take me home"
I quit talking again
But I know you're still listening to see if I sleep or I pierce my skin
Needles to the worn out rags
The folds in my arms, the sickening black
And I haven't been taking my meds
Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed
Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared
Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see
And I haven't been taking my meds
So lock all the cabinets, and send me to bed
Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared again
And make my insides clean with your kitchen bleach
But I've kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me
And I know my body is just dirty clothes;
I'm tired of washing my hands
God, I wanna go home
I'm crying
Best story teller ever
i cry all the time...
Goosebumps. Geez.
Amazing...
JB you keep me close to and away from it. Thank you for just being you.
My mind is blown.
Damn, she didn’t play the outro, that’s my favorite part
wow! no words
Julien writes lyrics that get you better than you get yourself.
Allison forever come home soon 🙏 😔
I want to reach out and hug her and let her know it's going to be ok🥺💔
Just wow!
I just want to give up today with this song, hope i can find another place.
come back to California please
My go to drunk song. It hits hard.
she kicks so much ass. what a performance.
how do you not ugly cry while singing this, god
HOW?
VOCE ME ENCANTA MENINA QQ ISSO ACHEI ALGUEM QUE ME CAUSA OS MESMO ARREPIOS QUE O BEN HOWARD!
YOU SEND SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE, GIRL YOU SHINE SO BRIGTH YOUR VOICE SMELLS LIKE THE SUN INTO MY SOUL!
I'm in love, with liberty.
my heart split
Amen and god damn