I Regret Motherhood!! Motherhood PTSD
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 дек 2024
- Today, we have the incredible Kendall Williams joining us in the studio. Kendall is the host of the "Mom’s Truth" podcast, where she keeps it real about the ups and downs of motherhood. In this episode, we dive deep into her journey as a teen mom, navigating abusive relationships, and the challenges of raising children while trying to find herself. Kendall shares her raw and unfiltered experiences, highlighting the importance of having honest conversations about the realities of motherhood.
We discuss the impact of teen pregnancy, the struggles of co-parenting, and the mental health challenges that come with being a mom. Kendall opens up about her experiences with PTSD from motherhood, the difficulties of raising adult children, and the societal pressures that come with trying to be the perfect parent.
This episode is packed with wisdom, authenticity, and powerful insights that will resonate with mothers and women everywhere. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation that will leave you feeling seen, heard, and empowered to embrace your own journey.
CONNECT:
Follow Kendall on IG: / mumstruetea
Follow Koe on IG: / koereyelle
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Many people want to "have a baby". Very few people want to RAISE A HUMAN !!!
This!
Many men want to have sex and make babies but very few want to stay and raise them. There…fixed it for you
So true.
@@keithsmith5310 perfectly said
This!! So true
I think the problem is if you admit you don’t like motherhood ppl automatically assume you don’t want your kids.
But how can you have kids and dislike motherhood is the real question. Keep in mind motherhood is a personal life long commitment YOU choose.
@@Truthfully_Speaking well, because motherhood is the journey not the result. You can’t necessarily determine or control how the journey will turn out and some ppl have bad experiences as mothers. Even with the best intentions, life will life on you. And sometimes you can adapt and sometimes you can’t.
@@Queenxmarquise not liking motherhood is strong. I have had many challenges as a single mom of one so I get it. But the love I have for my son and how much I have grown while being his mom is something I can’t take back. I made the choice and made the best out of it. My next 2 kids were a lot different. But because of my poor choice of procreation with my first I vowed to make better choices and got a better out come. Would I do it over again. Yes in a bettter way. But dislike motherhood I could never say…. Or understand. It’s a gift 🎁
@@Queenxmarquise"life will life you on" GIRL!!! 💯🔥
Both of yall are correct! Just different perspectives. Motherhood is a gift because it's plenty women that are barren.....not liking motherhood is ok because you can't fully experience it without being a mom to someone. Most children are not planned they are born from "freaking & funning" ...... if I had the option to do it all over again I would probably be 1 & done or just have 2 my son and daughter......I got 3 my lil Amíra is adorable but if I can turn back the hands of time 😂
I birthed my first and current only child at 35. I always desired to be a mother and knew the father would pay a pivotal role in my overall experience as a mother.
My son’s father took our son 15 months old toddler to library story time twice a week and swimming lessons weekly. He falls to sleep with baby on his chest, offers bath and feeding time.
Timing and partnership matter
True. A supportive partner goes a long way in this journey
Yes, a very important point. I still believe in motherhood however father's being present, emotionally intelligent, nurturing and protecting over their wives is so so pivotal
Girl say it again, so many people kept babies they were supposed to abort. DUH, that baby shouldn't have been here. Like what are we talking about. There's nothing revolutionary about having a baby at 15 then hating the experience. You're not supposed to be having a baby at 15, much less kissing at 15. Getting pregnant at 15 should mean instant abortion. There shouldn't have been any confusion on whether or not to keep a baby at 15. Her parents failed her. That baby should have been aborted then her said to military school for being fast. Idiots raising more idiots.
@@hahadarrie yea it does and I feel like the these woman are choosing to procreate with partners whom are not supportive. Which makes Motherhood hard for them ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Makes me smile to see/ hear women have a supportive partner
What a beautiful story. Hugs to you and your family.
I don’t hate being a mother but I hate that I chose to have a child with a man that I knew wasn’t going to be a good father.
🙏 I just commented about this. Our choices in partners are everything we have to be careful.
Yeah this is more how I feel as well 😢
EXACTLY THIS IS THE TRUTH ‼️💯
That part
@@brittanyb5942 respect your honesty
Since I was 9 years old I never wanted to be a mom.
BEST decision ever made. Turning 50 next year, in the best shape of my life, financially free and mentally stable all day everyday. 🙌🏻
I love this for you …. I said that after I raised my brother and sister … then turned around and had 3 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I’m grateful for them but baby it’s hard af
ROGER THAT!!!! Single and intentionally childless 51 yo
😅 I'VE never WANTED TO BE A MOM OR A wife 🥴 WE CAN go together TIL THEY REALIZE #IMserious
Same! I’m 40 and have never felt the urge to have kids… so glad to know I’m not an outlier 🤝✅
Girl who are you fooling... you know what's eating you deep down inside when you go to bed.
I am so proud of myself for having only 1 child. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart.
Thank you for watching
Good for you Mama!!!
Saaammmeeeeee! Bc motherhood ain’t my calling! And I’m a damn good mama! But this ain’t what I want for me so I’m limiting the children I have to the one I already have!
So true! I have one and that’s all I can handle.
The truth girl!😄
Ladies, it is ok to only have ONE CHILD!!! Stop letting your husband, family, friends, society, etc., guilt you into having more children for whatever reason. I truly believe that many mom's would have a overall better experience being a parent to one child. Not saying that it will be easy or you will have no regrets but if you truly only want one child, just have one child!!!
Fact! The guilt trip is real. Omg!
❤ this!
I have none and never will ❤.
It's okay to have NO CHILDREN, too!
I think a lot of women love being pregnant 🤰🏽…the attention…the baby shower …feeling “special” ect. But parenting said children is a completely different experience 😅
I love my children, I would lay down and die for them, but I do not like being a mother! It is the hardest job I’ve ever had, and way more responsibilities than you realize. There are so many days when I look at them and think how much better they would be, if they had a more capable mother. I should have done this, I should have done that, is on constant replay in my mind daily. Worry will be my life, for the rest of my life!
I’m sure you’re doing your best! Be encouraged
I think the main problem lies in being a single mom, even if married, not just being a mother or single parent. Not having healthy, Godly daddies and mommies in the home, the way it was supposed to be, makes it harder
I hear you sis.
I hope you'll find ways to ease or even dissolve your worries. The shoulda coulda woulda's cause stress. And often the stress/worries stem from unsolicited external advice and opinions. People think they mean well but do not contribute in ways that alleviate your worries, fears and troubles. They add on pressure with loaded words and come empty handed.
May we find our peace and the confidence to be the mothers we can be to the best of our abilities. To move from being in control into being empowered. ❤
I think the hardest part about it, is looking at the other 50% that helped creat the child do the bare minimum. Not just because or if they are a deadbeat but because society has okayed men to do minimal at parenting. Even if Dad is sitting right there child is going to run to mom. The birthing process, the breast feeding, the nurturing. At what point do mom get a break. Mentally or physically. Choosing a healthy whole unselfish individual to share a child with is not pressed enough! We have to be cognizant in who we lay down with!
@@beautybymeme_1507this!
I’m stopping at ONE. My baby girl is 6 and I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’ve fallen in love with Motherhood and it doesn’t feel like a chore. I honestly don’t think I could mentally handle another child. It would kill me.
Facts girl I feel exactly the same
I have one as well. He’s 17
My daughter’s about to be 6 & this is exactly how I feel. I honestly couldn’t imagine doing it again
Yes yes mines is 2 I pray a lot I ask god for strength and patience and I’m starting to get there I’m loving her more each day she’s my one and done
my mom and aunts all had four+ kids except one aunt. She had just one. I always was curious about why as a child. People would always ask her when is she going to have more but I remember her always saying she will never have more kids. Now I understand her more and more
Single mom of 5 and grieving the loss of my daughter. My mental health is struggling so bad. I was literally just thinking earlier today if I could do this over I definitely wouldn’t have had children. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I love all my children but the stress that comes with it and dealing with the loss of a child at least twice a week I feel like I’m losing my mind. Thank you for your transparency this is a much needed conversation.
I am so sorry for your loss hun. I pray for your peace. Thank you for watching and relating.
awe sweety I am so sorry! Praying for you!
I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Sending prayers and love your way 🫂💗
@@MumsTrueTea 💜
@@sheambitious29lachelle17 Thank you so much! 💜
As a young woman, I am so thankful for the older women telling the truth and speaking on hard topics!
I’m 29 with two under two and I told my husband not to die until both of our kids are grown grown. When I tell you the man LOVES being a dad more than I love being a mom and I’m so grateful for that. He lets me sleep in, supports me while I’m currently in therapy (processing motherhood), takes care of them while I grow my career and takes care of majority of the financial responsibilities. When I tell you God spared me cuz ain’t no way I’d be sane doing this by myself 😩
My kids father passed from cancer when they were 4 & 8. He was the best father and husband. Keep living and praying because it can happen to you too.
I envy you!!😂❤
Don't speak death into the atmosphere... Enjoy the time with your husband 😌
Youre so fortunate
This is amazing! Make sure you stay prayerful if you aren’t already. May it always be well with you and your family ♥️
Retired Teacher for 12 years, PTSD from that. Kids are who they are.
Girl me too! I was a swim instructor for 5 years. Never again
Say it again DEAR HEART!!!! Especially, once they become adults then who they really are comes Forth!
@@blessings4life exactly 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What are some truths about children and mentoring you can tell us?
@@LM-nn7sg make sure they are fed fruits/smoothies often it will help with their behavior, and work with each kid, wherever their at (all kids are different).
I knew from a very early age that motherhood and kids weren’t for me. I’m now 36 and married with a bonus child who just turned 18. No one could convince me that I’m missing out on anything when it comes to having any of my own. Any moments of joy I’m “missing out on” would not be worth the day to day stress, lack of sleep and financial burden. I’m glad moms are able to be honest about their experiences. It’s clearly not for everyone.
Smart lady! You're absolutely right!
Exactly, one must weigh the pros and cons. And in TODAYS time there are very little pros unless you’re lucky enough to be one of those family vloggers who go on to become multi millionaires bc of their children. Otherwise, maybe find something else to do. Or volunteer helping the less fortunate kids out there.
@@DrLauraRPalmeragree. The way the world is now im leaning more towards no
Right. The juice is not worth the squeeze!
You aint missing out on shyt😒. Carry on logically and intellectually🥂.
I can understand how motherhood can be horrible if you choose the wrong person to have children with and don’t have support.
I personally know a woman who was married and had a child, but the post partum hit her so bad she unalived herself. 😢I think it affected her career, too.
@@GenerationNextNextNext: That's sad to hear. I got depressed when my son was around 2. It came from not having support. Seeing the strength, happiness and resiliency of my child gave me hope and strength for the next day. He would wake up happy. He wasn't a colicky baby. That is a blessing 🙌
As a single childfree woman this was A GREAT conversation, I’m grateful for you ladies to open up❤
Blessings to you.
I hope more ladies keep it coming! Childfree is truly where it’s at, no matter how anyone tries to spin it. Women will always get the shorter end of the stick when it comes to motherhood. Every woman should mentally prepare to be a single mother when she decides to have a child. 🎯
“Having adult children is harder than they were younger.” She spoke like a truly great mother who understood the assignment - you don’t stop being a mom when your kids turn 18, they will need you for as long as they live. They hopefully wont need your support financially after a certain age, but they’ll always need your emotional support. Your 45 year old should still be able to call you at the end of the day and be able to open up to you and ask for advice. People who think their job is done when the kid’s 18 shouldn’t have kids at all.
Lawd have mercy this is the truth😔.
I say this all the time. Collectively, we are not being HONEST about motherhood. I don't even have the words to fully explain what it truly is, in addition to the rest of life. I tell my last childless friend, DON'T DO IT! It's traumatizing. I would never do it again.
What a shame
@@_empressofdeath I am sending you love and peace during this time in your life ❤️ May you find a community that will assist you on the journey towards inner peace ❤️ Sister, you are loved ❤️
I'm curious. Did y'all grow up around kids? Children are TONS of work, and I wonder who thought raising a family was easy.
It is a serious undertaking, and it is manageable if you know what to expect. Motherhood isn't for everyone, and there isn't a right or wrong answer. People are built differently.
@@whatwasisaying1338 I grew up helping to raise my youngest sibling. However always loved children. Im still a big kid at heart so that also makes raising children fun. Raising children is a job like everything else and it's gets better as they age! All they need is affirmations of love at every stage in life and to be shown gratitude for their overall existence in one life. It makes the journey easier ❤️
Literally
She doesn't hate motherhood she hates single motherhood. Bring married with children is totally different than raising children 100% alone. Ive done both and women really need to tell the truth about the misery of single mother lifestyle.
Not really unless you get lucky. Ever heard of a "married single mother" ?
@@EarthOceanMoon she is 💯 correct, if you married a good man. Not every woman keep choosing the wrong man but expecting different outcomes.
Thank you for watching. So happy you have the support we deserve.
@@EarthOceanMoonthis!!
There’s married women struggling too.
It needed to be said. This won't go viral. It's outstanding that so many women don't even realize it is not required as a human on earth to have a child or children. Thank God for those that live in their own power and knowing. Thank you for speaking out and explaining the difference in loving your children and loving motherhood
@@laj4186 thank you for a actually LISTENING and Understanding my message.
So true! 👍
By the way, there are people out there who actually say that childfree people are not fully human and I think that's completely messed up. I mean wtf?
@@MrGrumpyGills that’s the dumbest thing ever!
@@laj4186 I agree 100%, So many of us feel this and are afraid to say it LOUD.. Motherhood is a lot and depletes you, No days off, just work.. I always say BEING A GOOD MOTHER IS TWO FULL TIME JOBS
@@sheambitious29lachelle17this!!! We can’t say this out loud because we are considered “horrible” people.
I recently spent time with my friends and their children. One of my friends pulled me aside to say that she was constantly overstimulated and would never pressure a woman to have kids. She completely understands why I don’t have kids. Motherhood never ends. I have friends who have kids and have moved back in with their parents.
I noticed this while visiting my sister. This is why I will be one and done.
It’s true! Motherhood never ends. It’s a life of service and being a student. My kids are my BEST teachers! They reveal the good and bad in me and that’s a good thing because I get to grow and mature right along with them ❤
Thank you for sharing this. As a teen mother myself I always hated myself that I felt this way. My kids are now 24 and you’re right, the pains and the struggles from adult children are life shattering. The beautiful moments of parenthood that people talk has never been my experience and has left me with ptsd. Again, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼
Your children will absolutely choose their own path and yes it is a lot scarier when they get older and out of your control.
Thank you for watching
That's why we must pray for them and put our children's future in Jesus Christ hands
This is my comment
@@TheWheatons-fv7ob Sometimes, your children become atheists.
I’m not a mother and so so grateful
I'm 48. I have two children in their 20s. Their dad and I have been married for 20yrs. When I got pregnant with our 1st child. We were not married. I thought I would end up being a single mom because that's what I saw in my family and within my friendships growing up. When I got pregnant with our 2nd child, 3 yrs later, we got married. I'm grateful.
Are you happy with the relationship with your husband?
Thanks for this! I had those same fears of ending up as a single mom. That’s what I saw too
Same I’m married and I have two and I’m happy with my kids and my marriage. I was very fearful of being a single parent and I’m glad I got lucky and found a good husband.
Good to see a positive comment about life and having a family unit. I just had my first daughter with my partner, she’s 6 months old now. I have seen moments when being a mom could traumatise me and I prayed for strength in those moments so that I don’t fall into the pit of that trauma. I’ve had no days off and I’ve come to understand it’s the season for it. Yessss it’s exhausting but with God, I’ve been making the most of it and trying to be the best mom I can be. My partner is supportive and that 5 hour break is enough to keep me going a bit longer. I grew up as an only child for most of my childhood, I don’t want that for my daughter. I would really love to have 4-5 children. I pray this is God’s will for my life. I enjoy being a mother, no matter how challenging it gets. It’s rewarding for me and I can’t wait to help my children navigate life and find themselves with God’s help.
Women, find a source to fill your cup when you’re feeling depleted. Find moments of joy when doing something, even if you tired…it really helps. I think putting out there that you don’t like or enjoy being a mom, makes it 10x harder because that’s the energy you operating from. May we heal from our traumas and find joy in creating humans suitable to live well and contribute positively to society.❤Godspeed✨
@@NaughtoriousI love ❤️ this comment!
I wish more women would realize you do NOT have to have kids. Don’t let society make you feel like you have to or you are less than if you don’t have them.
Great conversation. She’s saying what a lot of women are feeling but are too afraid to say.
I been saying I dont kids since I was 10 years old! People keep telling me I will change my mind and I should not talk like that. I absolutely can not stand that people think they know who I am and what is best for me. I'm 33 now and STILL HAVE NO desire to be a mom. I love children and love my nieces and nephews but no on cares about that. They think I'm obligated to use my womb for their own societal expectations.
When a person or couple says they do not want to have a child.....I never ask why.....I totally understand & respect his/her choice
....Also, watch out for #Stealthing. Men baby trap Women not the other way around.
💯💯💯💯
@@Passionatelyfruits thank you because we don’t go around asking people with kids why they had them so don’t ask childfree people why they don’t.
I love my kids. Motherhood has been the struggle of my life. I literally work to provide for my kids. My life is dedicated for them. Dealing with their father was for them. It has been a low light of my life.
Thank you for watching! Be encouraged
I respect this woman's courage. A mother's ability to ENJOY motherhood is directly related to the outcome.
I had a mom who absolutely loved us but she didn't love motherhood. It shaped me. It turned me into a mom who makes motherhood/parenting fun (yes, fun) for MYSELF so that my daughter benefits from that energy.
I definitely have PTSD from motherhood too 🙏🏾 motherhood is not a walk in the park, especially when you don’t have village to back you. There are no days off,, and that’s when the mental health issues come into play!!
Exactly, and nobody cares about you or how you feel it’s really draining.
I’m 45 and childfree. Never wanted them and don’t date men that have them.
What u dating men under 25😂
@@rjchi7317 nope. Last guy I dated was 47 with no kids. There are tons of men out there without them.
I am 45 too sis, no kids, but honestly I want at least 1. Like you I prefer a man without kids, but to be honest from a somewhat selfish perspective. I want to be number 1 in my man's life. I don't want to take a backseat to his kids by another woman. My preference is a man without kids, but if he has kids they better not be living with him.
Thanks for giving me hope! I’m 30 and I would like to meet someone at some point and I don’t do men w kids either! ❤
Never "seriously" date men with kids even adult kids. Have fun with the men tho.
I was diagnosed with ptsd also. 4 kids. And I enjoy being a mom! Still .. ptsd. Married to a good guy. Their father. Regardless, Motherhood is hard!!!! 0 or 1 kid is ok ladies!!!! My kids are grown and doing well and my house is empty and I am in recovery!!!! And enjoying it!
❤
This is a conversation about motherhood, but this is also a conversation about generational trauma and curses passed down. As soon as she said her father died in jail, it made sense to me why her son went down the path he chose. When there is unresolved pain in a family it does not go away when ppl pass away. The pain resurfaces in the DNA of their children.
My son didn’t even know my father. Go somewhere with this baseless comment.
@@MumsTrueTea Are you triggered or nah? If you don't agree you didn't have to reply, but you responding tells me this applies to you in some way whether you are ready to admit that or not.
Tell it! People ain’t ready to talk about the generational trauma and the need to heal that bloodline. Somebody has to do the work or nothing gets resolved.
Ill say its the fractured black community across the diaspora . Our version of motherhood isnt the way it’s supposed to be.
Im Child free by choice because i saw the effect of the brokeness on my own single mothers and her friends in the same position.
@@sashalawrence4786 this is a nuisance of the conversation that nobody wants to address. We also aren’t honest within our communities, some of the women who modeled motherhood to us were not good mothers but we still praise them because they are mothers. That’s a catch 22 but in some cases it’s not good.
@@doowremaerd215yesss!!! People love to put on a facade.
They are only human how do you expect them to parent without any support from the father and then be stigmatized by the community for being single mothers@@doowremaerd215
Facts so much dysfunction in the black community. Baby mama vs baby Daddy ect🤦🏾♀️
I have a 32 yr old that constantly blames me for everything that is wrong in her life. I’m tired. I would never say I was perfect but I did everything in my power and it is never enough. If I had to do it all over again . I would not have a child. It is thankless .
The choices your daughter made in her life are not your fault so she should stop blaming you and learn how to take accountability for her own actions
Same
I can see why your daughter is angry at you. You do not become a parent for your own narcissistic needs like needing to be praised and thanked. Your daughter didn't ask to be born that was your decision. Even from your comment I can tell you can not acknowledge what you did to hurt her and you are not capable of making it right with her either. Kids don't just hate their parents for no reason. If she is blaming you for what went wrong in her life it is because you damaged her emotionally and mentally as a child, and now as adult she is realizing how bad it effected her as an adult.
@@la6136 this!!!!! Emotional neglect is a thing. I'm sure she did her best to be a mother, but no one is above inflicting trauma. I hope she looks into the subtle ways she hurt her daughter, she probably doesn't even know. And it was probably passed down from her caregiver. I hope they start the healing process
I tell people all the time -- if you don't give your children something to be upset with you about, THEY WILL MAKE UP SOMETHING!!!
I love these conversations though. They help keep me child-free. I have no desire to have kids right now and don't have the imaginary clock. Im 31.
Thank you for watching and take YOUR time!
thank you for watching sis!
Well it seems you are lucky in the last days. You dodged a missile.😏
Same❤❤❤
Same age as you and I have never been interested in kids. I know many stay at home moms and they all look tired and run down after having kids. Having kids really ages women physically too. I do not envy them at all.
I’m currently 30 years old and single. I’m not 100% sure I want to get married and have kids & this makes me feel so much better for having these feelings ❤ Thank you
Always do what’s best for you. The same people who encourage women to have children disappear. I’ve heard people encourage family members to have kids. When the person was exhausted, those same people said nobody told you to have kids. 😂😂😂😂
54 and said nope. Was married but decided I didn’t want children, I wanted ME. No regrets. I love my life. ❤
I’m so happy that you had this conversation.
I knew at 13 that motherhood wasn’t for me. Now I’m 30, childfree and realizing I definitely made the right decision.
Yes, me too. I am 42
Single mom of 2. This topic is so hard because i do love my children but there really arent any parts of motherhood that i enjoy. I knew it wouldnt be easy going in but i thought there would be more joy to be had or something. Every once in a while they do or say something cute or funny and watching their progress is nice but that no where near balances out how freaking hard, never- ending and thankless it is. And dont let them have behavioral or attitude issues or they dont turn out like you thought they would. It feels like a complete sacrifice. Like i gave away my life so they can have 1. And since im single and broke its not even a great life im providing them. We have all the basics we need for the most part but rarely get to enjoy any extra pleasures or treats. Money is always a problem. 1 person responsible for 3 lives is exhausting. Everything is a struggle. Sometimes it really feels like whats the point of all this its so depressing. I hope it gets better and easier as they get older but i always hear moms/parents say it doesnt its just different challenges. So idk. And trying to reckon with the anger and hatred for the other parent knowing they get off scot free and arent going through what youre going through is just...yea. if i had a do-over id never be a single parent. 0/10 do not recommend.
💕💕💕💕😘. God bless you.
@hellokitti07
@@gigi4874-w3w thank you ❤️🙏🏾
Right 💯💜
Thoes with money, i dont think go through it as bad. I hope your studying or something to make a better life for you three am in the same boat ❤
Thank goodness the "when are you going to have kids?' and the "motherhood is the best thing you'll ever do in your life!" voices are NO LONGER drowning out the "it's a FUKCING NIGHTMARE that never ends whether or not you have a husband" voices.
They've been steering women into a life of unhappiness for too long. Young women deserve to hear the truth of it.
This!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾 I’m looking forward to more women taking control of their reproductive and being more intentional in having children. They need to know the real to make informed decisions
I wish we could have a panel discussion about this topic! Motherhood is a struggle!!! 😭
I LOVE being a mother of 5. Tears, laughs, struggles the good the bad the ugly. My kids complete me I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I just stumbled across this channel. I was in tears halfway through this podcast. I’m thankful these ladies have the courage to discuss such a taboo topic.
Never wanted to be a mother, had 4 because I allowed my ex husband and society manipulate me into I should if he wants some. Don’t be selfish blah blah blah. Now divorced had to do by MYSELF!! If I had a Time Machine would never do it!!
Speak!!! And thank you for watching
What I feared right there. Being in that position. I heard all of that. I knew I would feel like a fool. I said nope. Praying for you sis. I get it. ❤
U are not alone
@@karminfennell7132 Yes, this! I always think about the "what if's" when it comes to having children. What if I/the dad dies, what if the child is/becomes disabled, what if I/dad becomes disabled, what if we break up/divorce and he is not dependable, what if my support system dies/decides not to help/can't help anymore, etc. Too much to consider😔.
I had my son when I was 19.....he's 22 now. Motherhood definitely has its challenges. I often tell him to take his time in 20's and get his education, travel, etc before getting married and then having children because once you get married and have a family, it’s not just about you anymore 🙏🏾
I had my son at 20, he will be 18 soon. I’ve told him not to have kids or marry young (before 25) because it will limit your opportunities with work and finances. I hope he listens and makes better choices than I did.
Yes! I'm glad that we are having these discussions with our sons because they know that we will be honest and have first hand expirence.
It’s just crazy how after I had my child people started to have serious conversations about motherhood and what it really looks like. If I knew how it was I wouldn’t have had did it. I love my son DOWN, would give him my heart but I have never been so tired in my life, motherhood is not for me, it sad that I had to figure that out by having a child.
As a result, do you have serious conversations with your childless friends about the implications of parenthood? You could possibly save someone from being in the same predicament in the future
@@tmsfrequency7848 luckily they don’t want kids 🤣 and my other friends with kids are one and done also. The thing is I work with kids, love them, just don’t know I really loved giving them back at the end of the day 😅
My RUclips algorithm is finally on the right beat. This post shows up on my channel at the right time. This is a much needed conversation for Single moms especially! I had to admit this to myself and I heard Ms. Iyanla Vanzant say she was a good father because she was invested in providing for her children but not a good nurturer. That resonated for me. I realized that no l didn't like doing it alone and now that my children are older I'm more invested in how I can evolve more. I actually realized that my mother and grandmother were not nurturers but providers. It's a lonely space but feels good that there are women that this resonates with.
My gut says don’t do it. I seen women around me just struggling 😂
Listen to your gut!!!
Facts, every parent I know is drowning in struggle
All black women and single I suppose but I guess you'll say no because this is social media but the stats speak for itself. Marry first not a guarantee but will have a better successful chance at life in many areas, look at other groups.
Same. My mother ended up with four alone. I said no sir 😂😂😂 54 and nan regrets. My life is MINE.
@@jomo7002she doesn’t need your opinion. She’s not obligated to have kids. That’s it.
My heart really goes out to all of the ladies here who are hurting. I wish you only the best! 💝🌹💐
Motherhood comes with challenges, but it’s important to reflect on how we handle them. Instead of blaming the role, we should take responsibility for our choices. Being a mother is about nurturing and shaping future generations, not just holding a title. The world needs more compassionate, intentional mothers who lead by example and embrace the responsibility to grow and guide with love.
I think what you’re saying is real and also what these ladies are saying is real. People need all the information before they have kids. It’s not always beautiful. It’s mainly thankless service. I respect the honesty.
But also it’s okay to share the struggle so people not willing to do the hard work of motherhood opt out. I respect the motherhood job but will never do it❤
I have seven children. Me and my husband is separated. This is something that is very challenging. I am a strong person I have endured so much. I grew up without a mother have endured sexual abuse and mental abuse from my stepmother. Not having family I feel is one of the main reasons I wanted to build my own. I love all my children they are a blessing. I will be honest it’s the hardest job that anyone will ever do. I am gearing up to start a nonprofit for teenagers who are teen parents. I want to advocate to these babies to teach them the truth about parenthood and life choices. Having babies are glamorized and it’s nothing glamorous about it. I can go on and on but I love this channel and your message! Prayers go out to all mothers who are struggling.
God bless you. Remember to take time for yourself. ❤
Love that y'all mentioned traveling out the country to help reduce stress and finally be able to feel free and at ease, able to rest.
I was caught up in both the fantasy and peer pressure of becoming a mother. I believe my worse mistake was becoming a mother.
oh wow
Not even halfway through. This is the most honest conversation ever! So many women judge child-free women for choosing not to have kids, but never want to admit these things!!
Exactly 😊
The way this woman who stayed and raised her kids despite sacrificing her youth and putting her dreams on hold is being dragged for being honest about how exhausted she is; and by other mother's no less, happens to be one of the many reasons why I opted out of motherhood.
I knew I didn't want to raise a kid only to be blamed for not enjoying every single minute of it. I still made mistakes but letting a man baby trap me then bounce wasn't one of em'..
Black women: opting out of motherhood doesn't make you less of a woman. There's more to life than kids.. If you really want them never have more than you can comfortably afford to raise on your own, even if you're married. Remember, husband's leave sometimes too just like baby daddy's.
Thank you for watching and for empathy
Sacrifice? U call accepting the consequences of ur decisions a Sacrifice? With this victim hood mentality, it's no wonder our race is at the bottom
"Never have more. . ." That's laughable, as if YOU decide how the sperm and egg interact. My wife and I didn't DECIDE to have twins, that's what God ordained. U take the proper steps and let God do the rest, trusting that he will show u the way, whether u have one or eight.
@@bonafidetruckingpresentsea8222men like you are the reason abortions were invented.
I love this conversation because I had my daughter at 20. I’ve came to the conclusion through self discovery that I would not have had her if I had to do it again.
Hell I don’t blame you tell your stories to other ladies I tell you this most men ain’t shih before they turn 25 and it’s harder on females the younger you have kids tell your story
I waited until I was 37, and married when I had my one and only child. No one prepared me for motherhood and what it does to your body and postpartum depression. It is a very thankless job and all the people I helped with their children did nothing to help me with mine. I realized I was in an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage and I left with nothing. I gave up my career to take care of my daughter while he progressed in his. Now I’m starting over and it’s hard but I can’t imagine life without her. The crazy part is everyone tried convincing me to have another, and I said hell no. God has been with me every step of the way and the minute I left my life got so much better. I’m still starting over though.
💛
OMG. (Was 19 years old)I love my son but if I could do it all again….. 28 years in corporate America, Divorced, Bachelor’s, Master’s (now 50) new relationship and helping to raise my grandson. I AM EXHAUSTED
Yes! It's exhausting.
@@MsEbonyBill thank you for watching and being honest
Queen, I LOVE THIS TRUTH! WE STANDING IN OUR TRUTH!
@@ladyindaroomand unapologetically!
I had my son at 20 and he will be 18 soon. I raised him alone. His father decided he didn’t want to help and let me tell you I’m exhausted 😖
From my experience, almost the entire time I’ve been a mother, I’ve been in and out of family court. Lots of trauma, anxiety, and attorneys are very expensive, especially to have on a pay roll for several years without a break. Being stalked, lied on, the father looking for any reason to make me look bad in court, etc. Not to mention when a child is brainwashed to go against the other parent. There’s many reasons a mother may not enjoy motherhood. We’re still human beings, and we’re a human being before anything else.
Sending you and your children healing energy Mama ✨🙏🏽❤ Keep speaking your truth.
Thank you for watching. Shares some of your same experiences. I wish you peace.
Likewise! I lost my custody battle over a year ago and I have never been the same. I learned the hard way that it's not about the truth, it's about who can tell the better story (bonus points if you can afford an expensive attorney) I was railroaded. Still picking up the pieces of life without my children
@@_empressofdeath so so sorry! Be encouraged, don’t give up and keep prioritizing you in the process. People don’t speak on how the other parent can turn your children against you. That was my experience and why my son was so angry. And still is even knowing the truth. But I RIP.
Omg I got PTSD just from reading that… how devastating. God bless your situation to work in your favor soon!
Sadly it’s either you are in and out of court or the father is completely MIA. Bringing kids into this world is no joke. I learned that when my son was 1 and I was in court over child support because his dad left the state to avoid paying child support. It was so embarrassing!
As a 18 year old watching this, it informed me very well on a lot of things I wouldn’t have even thought of regarding my own parent. I definitely enjoyed this episode ❤️
I am so happy it was helpful! Thank you for watching 💕
So glad you could have an open mind hun and give your parents grace.
@@koereyellethis lady needs counseling with her sons and husband, and not a microphone. All families have problems and the ones at the point of needing counseling should get it. People can improve as parents, children can improve as children, spouses can improve as spouses. I'm going to listen to the rest of it, but I'm certain her sons are hurt by this. I can't see how not..
@@ange2122 Lots of people have no business reproducing. Many of us should have chosen another path. Is what it is
@@ange2122But she’s a human too, and she deserves space as well, she should be considered as well… as a woman I respect her courage in telling the truth. If more women told the truth this wouldn’t be other’s story.
I love the honesty in this entire conversation ♡
As a 24 y/o woman that’s planning out my life very intentionally, thank y’all for this 💕
SAMEEEEE!
Thank you for this conversation ❤😢. It was so sobering to hear. Parenthood is not a damn fairytale. Nobody is talking about the other side of it. As a single woman not married with Kids, we are told we are without worth if we don’t desire marriage and children, or can’t have children. This was deep.
Thank you for watching. You’re so worthy! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel opposite of that
This conversation is very affirming. I have two kids, newly single mother. So not only did I have to go through a break up, I had to go through this transition with my kids and still run my businesses, be present for my children, do homework every night, be involved at school, still try to take care of myself mentally and physically, cook every morning and night etc. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I can honestly say I was not fully prepared for Motherhood and all its facets. I also never thought I’d be doing it alone either. I’m also now dealing with resentment for my mother and certain family members because I feel like they haven’t been concerned about my mental health throughout this whole process. When you guys talked about the mental health element of mothers, that really resonated. Prayer, stress management, therapy and self-determination is what has been getting me through. But it has definitely not been easy. Love my children to life, but this is my is hard. Thank you for having this conversation.
Girl, same! I love my children with everything in me, but I DO NOT WANT TO COOK, DO NOT WANT TO HELP WITH HOMEWORK, DO NOT WANT TO BE CHAUFFEUR, DO NOT WANT TO GO TO PTA MEETINGS... NONE OF IT!!!
I felt this heavy sis! thank you for watching! It's astonishing how many MOMS don't get this? Even if not their experience they should have compassion.
@@MumsTrueTeaI totally get it and my heart goes out to all mothers struggling out there. Love and Light ❤.
I’m not planning to have kids myself. No not in a thousand years. I have cptsd and I’ve seen women throughout my life suffer alone raising children even though their fathers are still alive. Lastly I don’t think this world is a kind place to bring any human into it. There is too much pain than good.
The lack of help makes it challenging. I viewed my parents life luxurious, they had help from their parents. I’m grateful to be a stay at home mom, but it would be nice to have help from the grandparents. Thankfully I have my aunt!!!! ❤❤❤
@@Earthlycousin Understood. Just being honest here. Everyone doesn't have the same luck as your parents. Have kids with the notion that "help" is you and the father first and foremost. Many grandparents have other things they prefer to do than help with kids on a regular basis especially when their children are already grown. Their main obligation is fulfilled. Have kids for "you" not any one else. Have all your ducks in a row and have plenty of money for childcare, camps, sitters, etc. Raising kids and all that comes with it ain't no joke.
When I was 18 a woman told me not to look at children like small cute humans. Think of them like you’re taking a bum off the street and bring them into your house. Sooo I only have one. It was just for the experience. Love her to pieces
@@SS-lb5dk Yes, lol. Baby bums.
😂😂😂😂 not a bum! 😂😂😂 They are broke and needy as hell, tho! 😂😂😂😂 I have one (8) and baaaby, he get the butter from the duck EVERYDAY! Lol
This is really eye opening to me. I did not know people genuinely didn’t realize parenthood is difficult. I assumed that was the entire point of birth control as a concept. I’m really enjoying being a mom as are most of the people around me, but we all had our children under circumstances that were conducive to us mothering with intention. I hope this conversation helps viewers understand that pregnancy and parenting are not things we should allow to just happen, there needs to be some intention and desire there in order for it to be a positive experience.
Thank you so much for this comment! I completely agree! While motherhood has its challenges, I enjoy being a mother. And I feel it's a privilege to raise two humans. However, I was very intentional and planned my journey to becoming a mother. I can imagine it's a very different experience for someone who "fell into" becoming a mother.
I absolutely love this comment! Family planning especially in the African American community isn’t talked about nearly enough, which of course would make the process of family building so much more enjoyable. The lack of and or ignorance of family planning along with vetting your helpmate properly has been destroying the black community for centuries 😢
This is relatable. I was once a teen mom. I can’t help but think why my own mother didn’t help me navigate my choices. It was “you’re having this baby “ my parents exact words. There wasn’t prochoice options afforded to me. It was a punishment in a sense for me exploring my sexuality and not feeling comfortable enough to be open enough to get help to protect 16year old self. All is forgiven. Motherhood is a rose. Beautiful but the thorns can cut deep.
Thank you for watching! And you literally had my experience as it relates to “pro choice” and it being a punishment. So I feel you sis!
Or just being held accountable for ur decisions. Children deserve respect too, not just some stain to be sucked out because u want to rework ur bad choices.
@@bonafidetruckingpresentsea8222as a man, you should not inform a woman on how she should handle her pregnancy. Since you don’t know the circumstances that led to it, it’s a woman’s right to decide to bring life forward or not.
@@Luver4lyfe I already did it, next!
@nubian77 he's right. Stop aborting your children just because you decided to open those legs up of yours and end up pregnant. The children didn't ask to be here. Now right is right and wrong is wrong so therefore you're out of order. Repent
This resonates with me so much. I appreciate the bravery and vulnerability for speaking on this.
@@EYE4DIY thank you for watching
As a man who was married to a woman who had an ex that was very vindictive I can tell you I understood her frustration with an ex who purposely tried to affect her son’s upbringing. We couldn’t even take family vacations because he refused to sign for a passport just so that we couldn’t travel as a family when he was an absentee father and never saw his kids.
Thank you for your perspective and I hope things have gotten better.
😢
Was married🥺I hope yall are ok
Woooo Lord WHEN I SAY THIS WAS NEEDED! As a mother navigating the same challenges with my adult son getting into trouble after working so hard to provide a good environment for my children. When I say it takes a toll on your confidence as a parent EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW YOU DID YOUR BEST.
This is one of the REALIST conversations that we didn't know we needed.
THANK YOU!
@@kgarcia0627 thank you for watching
Every time somebody I know has a baby, I tell them: Welcome to motherhood. BRING EVERYTHING YOU GOT!!!
@@tomfoolery6576 🤭
I was raised by someone who felt the same way...and wasnt afraid to tell her kids. Everyday.
Your kids feel that. Just remember that if they grow up and want zero contact.
Thank you. My mother is the same way and it absolutely crushes your spirit
@ashlielove6513 I don’t believe this woman is coming from a malicious place. She didn’t state that she told her children that everyday. She’s not coming from an abusive place. Whereas parents who do that are & I speak from experience as well.
This is just an open & honest conversation. Just like sec ed but about motherhood.
Learn to reparent yourself. Stay no contact.
@@Tionaintown876Go no contact and re construct your own family. Especially if you don’t have strong boundaries.
I don’t want to disrespectful of course, but your experience is not everyone’s experience
@Lilou-r9u Yes I'm aware and very grateful for that, thank you. Its soul crushing.
I was gonna post a rant about regretting motherhood but after hearing this sister’s story…. Lord! I just realized how blessed I really am. My life could be so much worst and I just thank God! Thank you Lord!✨🙌🏾✨
This conversation is everything!! Thank you for the transparency. Her point about having one or two that are difficult is 💯 accurate. My daughter is my second child and I say that if I had her first, I would’ve never had children again . I have so much PTSD from being her mom. She is an adult now but nothing has changed. I was 31 when I had her and 18 with my son. If I have been exposed to women who were honest about motherhood, and even if RUclips existed when I was growing up, it would’ve saved me from so much hardship. I am in my late 50s and feel like I’m experiencing a crash course in life. When you are a single mother having to be and do everything, there is no time to develop yourself or even know who you are. I think this could be a never-ending conversation with a panel of incredible women speaking the truth
Thank you for watching and for sharing. I wish you peace .
@MumsTrueTea Thank you. Sending peace and blessing to you. ❤️
I think there is a concern for a lack of training, like women “preparing” other women for motherhood! I came from a single parent home where my mom was always working and so I was told to take care of yourself and get for yourself and don’t depend on a man ( not so much from my mom but from my aunties). So when I became a stay at home wife/mom after working for 15 years, it was a tough transition because I tied my identity to my job and had no appreciation for motherhood until recently! If I wasn’t groomed to be like a “man”, this journey of contentment with motherhood wouldn’t have been so hard on me. Now this is my personal journey and I don’t want to project my own experiences to incite fear into others. Everyone are on different journeys and callings and I respect that!❤
Beautiful and 10000% agree!!! I am also a sahm😊. It’s a huge problem within our nation majority of our women are raised to be masculine .. they have no idea how to be a woman , wife, or mother!!
@@diaryofavirtuouswoman Amen Sis!❤️
Yes you are absolutely correct! I’m also a sahm and it took a while for me to truly embrace and enjoy my new journey. I still have my highs and lows as expected but I’m finally starting to have a “I get to do this” moment instead of a “why do I have to do this” mindset🩷
This is my type of conversation. It’s so real and candid. Thank you both for bringing this to light and getting the conversation started.
@@MSquHaired thank you for watching
💜
Ladies....
This podcast was Nothing short of AMAZING!!!!
💜
A lot of what you said resonated with me.
And I just want to say thank you for being REAL, RAW & UNCUT with us!
💜
Sending Peaceful, Loving & Healing Energy.
💜
You all are GODDESSES!
and this is jus a Human Experience.
💜
We're All in this together!
❤🧡🧡🧡🌙
Yall!! Once you have the child and you feel like this, it’s sooooo important to pray to find joy, surrender to being a mom, pray pray pray pray pray!!! YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR CHILD GROWING UP HATING YOU. They can FEEL you!!! FORGIVE the stupid man that left his child, and lean heavily on GOD to heal you heart, heal abandonment wounds!!! LEAN ON GOD!!!
This is urgent.
!!!!!!!!
Honestly think she wasn’t being honest about that part. I respect her speaking her true feelings but her not taking accountability in that area I think is more related to her children’s adult “trauma” for lack of. Better word than she cares to admit.
Exactly my thoughts!
I'm struggling with this now 😩 it is so hard
I have a 16 yr old, 19,21,and 28... It's expensive, exhausting, selfless, not for the weak. Its harder now than ever. Thank you for this. I love my kids of course but yes I agree with her 100%
I wanted to be a mom until about 2 years ago. I’m 34 and I enjoy the freedom I have. My homegirls aren’t able to take trips as frequently and at the last minute like I can because they have children. I’m the aunt/great aunt who gives others a break during the summer for about 2 weeks and I like the better
This is me😭😭
This was so insightful, thank you for this conversation. I am so glad some women are being honest about motherhood. I love my son dearly but it is hard.
Drawn in by the title. Captivated by the message. The ptsd part clicked. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for watching!
Same. I was liked what is she going to say. I'm about 25 minutes in and she's saying it eloquently. It's not about not loving your children.
Yes!! Speak! Parenthood does NOT end. 18 years & done is biggest lie ever told!
I used to think I was crazy because, I didn’t love motherhood like other Moms. I always loved my child, never wanted my life to revolve around motherhood. I used to question what was wrong with me because child topics & work issues never interested me.
Y’all are beautiful for this. Spent my whole life trying to conceive and I STILL been waiting to see our women having this conversation 🙏🏽 so in awe of moms 🫶🏽
She kept it real. Shes very raw and honest. Having children can cause you to suffer because you can raise them as well as you want, invest so much into them and they end up choosing who they wanna be.
My hubby and I are 41 and 39 with 2 adult children (ages 21 and 25) and 2 grandchildre. My children were raised in a 2 parent home, I was a 16 yr old mom and my second child is my hubby's and I had wonderful partner who couldnt have made parenting any easier! I will shout from the roof tops that I would never do it again, and my children didn't give me any problems until their late teens. Besides that, It is mentally draining and the world (peer pressure, laws, internet) has made parenting impossible to do on your on terms! I know now how much further me and my husband could be in life, but, I am glad that I had my children early enough to be still young enough to "RE-live" when they became adults.
These conversations are sooo needed because it needs to show women that womanhood doesn't have to be synonymous to motherhood. You can be a woman and not be a mother.
I have one child and i had her at 30. Shes special needs and the challenges that come with that can break even the strongest woman. I don't regret having her but i sure wish i could switch her dad. Its one and done for me👌🏿
Thank you for sharing your story. Strong is an understatement when it comes to you! And I’m sorry you had to be “strong” because you didn’t chose to but you didn’t have a choice.
I can appreciate candid conversations about life like this, thank you ladies and the younger generations deserve truth ❤
Thank you ladies for telling all the truth
I always wanted to be a mother I knew that and i wanted lots of kids.. present day I have 3 under 8 and it is so tiring, most days i don't like my kids because they don't listen... me and my siblings were nothing like them, and my mother blames it on me... I wish I would of waited, plus these last 3years have been so difficult... I wish I could have a vacation away from them, having them so close in age I didn't get to heal or give them their time... I didn't realize I was depressed until my youngest was 2...
🙏
I don’t enjoy motherhood. Have a child made my life hard and unhappy. Now I live stressed, sad, less money, restricted, I have mental problems, auto immune problems, high cortisol, I’m always tired and irritated. People blame on me for have choose the wrong partner like if I had a Cristal ball or some. I love my kid and I feel guilt for not be able to give the media kinda of love. I recommend my children free friends to remain like that and most of times they think I’m an exception of the rule and they will be happy and fine. Bottom line is, people have a high tolerance to suffer when they have kids and just shut up. That doesn’t mean they having a good time.
I am so glad you all had this convo, this literally why I was motivated to start a podcast but I was so fearful of hurting family, hurting my kids but no one knew how much I was hurting and those who did brushed it off, ty ladies this convo it is a blessing ❤ I would love to sit on your panel, I am new in the podcast industry and this is the type of platform I desire for my community, complete transparency, the universe sent you ladies to me ❤🖤💚
It’s definitely a needed space🙏🏾
The kids didn't ask to be here they owe us nothing but respect
Im so glad I found this as I feel so alone regretting Motherhood. Not the kids, I love my Kids, and I feel bad even saying that. I would still have my kids, but in a less dysfunctional, non toxic way. Now that my kids are grown I see the impact my happiness had on them. I agree with Ms. Kendall, it is much harder to parent adult children. As their view of things come from a place of judgement and hurts from their truth about their childhood. They let me know all the time how much I 'damaged" them. I really don't feel alone anymore. Someone finally said what I was afraid to even whisper. Thank you.
This whole conversation was so needed and refreshing to hear the actual truth of things. Thank you ladies❤
@@Yourstruly4.0 thank you so much for watching
VERY! My thoughts exactly!
This mom is full of so much good information!
@@kaygeeRandomness thank you for watching. I hope videos on my RUclips can also guide you and show you, you’re not alone.
This is so refreshing to hear! Thank you for this! This is so true! I only have 1 daughter and I am done! I got a divorce and it has been the best decision for me and has helped me become a better mother but wow… motherhood isn’t for the weak and I am so happy and this is being talked about more often so other women can better understand what motherhood really is.
This convo makes me realize that I need to keep showing a different side of motherhood by sharing my Hot Mom Vlogs. Motherhood is all about perspective. If you have kids young, very little support, little opportunity, terrible or non existent partner then it will probably suck. However, if you wait until you are older, become established, date different people, vet those people….its not a guarantee but you will have a better chance at enjoying being a mom. My husband is amazing and I also didn’t have my first child until I was 31…after I got to a point in my career and we purchased our home.
agree
I agree! My first child 23...I had everything set up bought a house at 21 and paid for car....I always had money 🙏🏽 girl my total bills was $900😌 had my last two girls at 28 and 31 my mind was more stable and I did notice more maturity at those ages.....shiz got real with them 2 years apart messed me up about motherhood 😅😫🥺....their Dad always been there but he don't wanna believe he a part time in house Father... he ai'ight👍🏽
But didn't the host of the podcast say she was 35 before her first child and she is married? Why is it so hard to understand that everyone does not have the same experience even in "perfect" conditions.
That's the part ppl glossing over. U cant take wrong turns but blame the journey as if ur detours and deviation didn't make ur journey the hell it became. But scripture said the love of many would grow cold in the last days
@@Glamlarry motherhood is NOT about perspective. It’s about each individual’s experience. Thanks for watching and plugging your vlog