So the step siblings never felt remorse for telling a lie that destroyed a mother/daughter bond (as crappy a mother as she may have been?). Were they sociopaths or something? One condition I would have had for reconciliation had I been the OP in this story is that she has to cut off all contact with the step siblings.
THE MINUTE SHE GETS CLOSE TO ANOTHER MAN . STILL WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP HIM. YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO BE SACRIFICED TO KEEP HIM. EVEN PROMISING HIM THAT SHE WILL DEFINITELY BE ABLE TO GET YOU TO GET EQUITY LOAN 4. HIM AND HIS CHILD ///. CHILDREN. IF SHE ISNT PLAYING WITH YOUR HEART ❤️ 2. GET MONEY FOR HER NEW MAN OR OLD MAN
I would have reported her. Kicking you out with no proof of any fighting. Then telling the family to not speak or take her in. I would have sued for child support if i were the fathers family.
Why would she have even needed to sell her business to begin with when they could've saved FROM the business plus what they, the 'family' could've put together from their own savings?? She was set up from the jump, again, to be their cash cow and I have NO sympathy since she listened, again, to the people she trusted more than her own daughter and abandoned for them for such a clearly foolish endeavor.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
@@ianesgrecia8568 I'm disappointed to see that you have resorted to making unfounded accusations of "projection" instead of engaging with the substance of my original inquiry. There is nothing in my question about your personal experiences that could be reasonably construed as "projection" - I was simply trying to foster a more nuanced, empathetic understanding of this complex issue. Your continued dismissal of the realities faced by abuse survivors, coupled with your insulting and derogatory language, is a prime example of the very victim-blaming rhetoric that perpetuates harm and invalidation. Unless you can approach this topic with the gravity and compassion it deserves, I see no point in continuing this discussion. I would encourage you to reflect deeply on your biases and preconceptions around abuse, and consider how your lack of personal experience may be shaping your perspective. Abuse is a multi-faceted and nuanced issue that requires an understanding of the psychological, social, and situational factors involved. Simply telling someone to "get a spine" is an oversimplification that does nothing to address the root causes or challenges. If you are unwilling to engage in this discussion in a thoughtful, evidence-based manner that upholds the dignity and worth of all individuals, then I must conclude our interaction here. I will not lend any credence to harmful, victim-blaming ideologies, nor will I tolerate baseless attempts to discredit my position. The choice is yours - I hope you will reconsider your approach.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
The sheer look of disgust my mother had when she had to talk about my father despite the fact she never bad talked him made it clear a reconciliation was a stupid idea. You just need to tell kids that you love them even though you don’t like another person and that it’s OKAY. Further in the video: I do believe OP is NTA but WOW. I honestly hope OP doesn’t have kids cause this absurdly low EQ seems to be genetic and require a serious amount of bad times in order form a halfway decent person. She couldn’t afford rent with 2 jobs? She needs to move to a cheaper area or ask help from relatives.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
21:24. Assuming the OP's mother was telling the truth the Grand Parents she begged for contact info from did NOT do the right thing. The OP had a right to know if her mother was trying to contact her and it was NOT their place to say what they said (even if it was true). What they SHOULD have done is ask the OP's mother to leave HER contact information WITH THEM and then contact the OP and let her know what happened. The OP then has the option of CHOOSING whether or not to contact her mother. If I was the OP I would be VERY angry at the grand parents for making my decision for me EVEN IF I never wanted to contact her. It was NOT their decision to make.
If the grand parents hadnt taken care of op, then yes I agree with you but since they did take care of op, op doesn't have any right to get angry at them, the alternative is her on the streets
I'm vindictive and petty.. I'd have set forth conditions on living with me: 1. We will NOT refer to each other as mother and daughter. When introducing you to my guests, you are my ROOMMATE. I will simply use your name. And call you by your name ONLY. You lost the right to call me your daughter when you kicked me out. 2. Let's be clear... I'm only helping you out temporarily. Keep to yourself and don't bother me 3. You will contribute to groceries and chores while you're here. 4. As soon as you save up enough money. You gtfo of my house asap and NEVER contact me again after this. 5. If you cause me any issues while staying. I have every right to boot you out of my home. There's probably more I'd add on to protect myself. I would even put this shit in writing. Get it notarized and have her sign it. And if she breaks any of these rules. She's gone.
I remarried after I already had 2 children. I stayed married to my second husband for way too long because I just wanted to make it work. But one thing I would NOT tolerate was my children being treated poorly in any way! That was the only line my ex never crossed, he knew I would be gone in a blink if he didn’t treat my kids right!! Not to mention I treated his 2 kids as my own as well. Children are innocents and need the adults to look after them!!!!! The biggest mistake I made was staying with him because it was the wrong message to send my kids. Never stay with abuse, even just emotional abuse that most can’t even see (physical abuse automatically comes with emotional abuse but the reverse doesn’t.) Fortunately, my children are well adjusted, happily married and successful adults raising families of their own!!!
The friends and OP aren't thinking. You never look at this kind of a situation in terms of emotion. You have to distance yourself and look at things objectively. OP's friends called not helping her being vindictive and holding on to a grudge. They are looking at this from an emotional perspective. What you really need to look at is this: She is the kind of woman who would side with her new family over her own daughter, kick her out without anything and not get in touch with her for 10 years. What kind of mother does that. More importantly, what does that say about OP's mother as a person? And the fact she only comes to OP when she needs help? The friends couche this in terms of bonds but it's clear that there wasn't much of a bond there to begin with. It's not vindictiveness so much as OP's mom not really being a mom and being more like a stranger now. But even still the mom's selfishness is evident and if she can do that so "family" and even her own daughter, what isn't she capable of doing to others? How weak or despicable is she truly? Nothing that OP's mom did speaks of a decent or even average person in terms of character.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
@@MCBRUCE76 I'm still interested in understanding how your personal experiences, or lack thereof, may be shaping your views on this topic. Could you please elaborate on that? Your response suggests you're unwilling to engage with the core issue I've raised. I'd encourage you to consider why you feel the need to avoid a direct discussion of this topic. The tendency to quickly judge and dismiss the experiences of abuse victims is a harmful pattern that often stems from a lack of empathy and understanding. I'd urge you to consider how your words may impact those who have faced such challenges.
It's clear you have no interest in engaging with the core issues I've raised in a thoughtful, evidence-based manner. Your continued dismissiveness and refusal to reflect on your own biases is noted. I can only hope that, in the future, you will be more willing to approach these topics with the empathy and nuance they deserve.
OP you are a great person way better than some of us. Your mother did you so wrong but you have the heart to forgive and moved on. You are truly blessed ❤
It's her decision but I honestly do not think that her mother came sincerely out of regret over what she did but only because she had no options left. I honestly don't trust her IMO.
These comments are brutal.😅😅😅 I get it, I really do. But OP gave her mother grace, and grace is granted oftentimes when the person getting it doesn't deserve it. Life humbled this woman. She lost everything. What she thought she gained by forsaking her daughter, God took it ALL away. 'Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.' OP didn't have to do anything else.
I agree. OP's mother was given more kindness by her daughter than many would think she deserved. It showed that OP was a much better person than her mother by offering help. It also seems as though her mum is trying her best to acknowledge responsibility and 'actions speak louder than words'.
The issue is not whether victims should stand up for themselves - of course they should be empowered to do so. The problem is the implication in the comments of those who engage in victim blaming rhetoric that victims are somehow 'doormats' or 'deserving' of abuse for not standing up to their abusers. That kind of victim-blaming rhetoric is deeply harmful, regardless of how they may try to frame it as 'encouragement.' The focus should be on supporting and empowering victims, not judging them for the complex decisions they are forced to make in abusive situations.
A question to all you victim blamers calling OP "stupid" or a "doormat": Do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
No! As she said, you made you bed, now lie in it.
Take her to a government agency to get emergency housing and disability. Help her that way. Where is her family?
I don’t believe that story! Op is a saint to be so nice. Unrealistic.
@@joemedic710 I thought a little too forgiving. And how harsh the mom was. Not believing her daughter over two kids with no scratches on their bodies.
Where is your mother's favorite step children in all this? Shouldn't they be first in line to offer help?
So the step siblings never felt remorse for telling a lie that destroyed a mother/daughter bond (as crappy a mother as she may have been?). Were they sociopaths or something?
One condition I would have had for reconciliation had I been the OP in this story is that she has to cut off all contact with the step siblings.
THE MINUTE SHE GETS CLOSE TO ANOTHER MAN . STILL WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP HIM. YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO BE SACRIFICED TO KEEP HIM. EVEN PROMISING HIM THAT SHE WILL DEFINITELY BE ABLE TO GET YOU TO GET EQUITY LOAN 4. HIM AND HIS CHILD ///. CHILDREN. IF SHE ISNT PLAYING WITH YOUR HEART ❤️ 2. GET MONEY FOR HER NEW MAN OR OLD MAN
I would have reported her. Kicking you out with no proof of any fighting. Then telling the family to not speak or take her in. I would have sued for child support if i were the fathers family.
ONLY BECAUSE SHE NEEDS YOU NOW. BUY HER OUTFIT AND NIGHT ON TOWN. BY FELICA
Why would she have even needed to sell her business to begin with when they could've saved FROM the business plus what they, the 'family' could've put together from their own savings??
She was set up from the jump, again, to be their cash cow and I have NO sympathy since she listened, again, to the people she trusted more than her own daughter and abandoned for them for such a clearly foolish endeavor.
Such a spineless OP.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
@@luvsavengedsevenfold and I would encourage you to get a therapist to help with your projections.
And to you ALSO get a spine
@@ianesgrecia8568 I'm disappointed to see that you have resorted to making unfounded accusations of "projection" instead of engaging with the substance of my original inquiry. There is nothing in my question about your personal experiences that could be reasonably construed as "projection" - I was simply trying to foster a more nuanced, empathetic understanding of this complex issue.
Your continued dismissal of the realities faced by abuse survivors, coupled with your insulting and derogatory language, is a prime example of the very victim-blaming rhetoric that perpetuates harm and invalidation. Unless you can approach this topic with the gravity and compassion it deserves, I see no point in continuing this discussion.
I would encourage you to reflect deeply on your biases and preconceptions around abuse, and consider how your lack of personal experience may be shaping your perspective. Abuse is a multi-faceted and nuanced issue that requires an understanding of the psychological, social, and situational factors involved. Simply telling someone to "get a spine" is an oversimplification that does nothing to address the root causes or challenges.
If you are unwilling to engage in this discussion in a thoughtful, evidence-based manner that upholds the dignity and worth of all individuals, then I must conclude our interaction here. I will not lend any credence to harmful, victim-blaming ideologies, nor will I tolerate baseless attempts to discredit my position. The choice is yours - I hope you will reconsider your approach.
Op is gullible to believe her mother…sigh
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
The sheer look of disgust my mother had when she had to talk about my father despite the fact she never bad talked him made it clear a reconciliation was a stupid idea. You just need to tell kids that you love them even though you don’t like another person and that it’s OKAY.
Further in the video: I do believe OP is NTA but WOW. I honestly hope OP doesn’t have kids cause this absurdly low EQ seems to be genetic and require a serious amount of bad times in order form a halfway decent person.
She couldn’t afford rent with 2 jobs? She needs to move to a cheaper area or ask help from relatives.
But she didnt. I wouldnt buy it! You can find people on the Internet. So this is bull.
This story screams "DOORMAT" in capital!😂
I am trying to get a doormat emoji so I can start awarding them on a scale. I give OP 5 out of 5 doormats.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
@@luvsavengedsevenfold I would encourage you to self reflect on your moral preening.
@@saran3214 You still did not answer my question. Do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself?
@@saran3214 You still did not answer my question. Do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself?
What exactly was the condition that you put forward? I knew rgirl was just full of fluff but now they are click bait too
21:24. Assuming the OP's mother was telling the truth the Grand Parents she begged for contact info from did NOT do the right thing. The OP had a right to know if her mother was trying to contact her and it was NOT their place to say what they said (even if it was true). What they SHOULD have done is ask the OP's mother to leave HER contact information WITH THEM and then contact the OP and let her know what happened. The OP then has the option of CHOOSING whether or not to contact her mother. If I was the OP I would be VERY angry at the grand parents for making my decision for me EVEN IF I never wanted to contact her. It was NOT their decision to make.
The Grandparents get a free pass for this considering they’re the ones that stepped up and took her in
@@greenbeacon394 That does not make what they did right.
If the grand parents hadnt taken care of op, then yes I agree with you but since they did take care of op, op doesn't have any right to get angry at them, the alternative is her on the streets
I'm vindictive and petty.. I'd have set forth conditions on living with me:
1. We will NOT refer to each other as mother and daughter. When introducing you to my guests, you are my ROOMMATE. I will simply use your name. And call you by your name ONLY. You lost the right to call me your daughter when you kicked me out.
2. Let's be clear... I'm only helping you out temporarily. Keep to yourself and don't bother me
3. You will contribute to groceries and chores while you're here.
4. As soon as you save up enough money. You gtfo of my house asap and NEVER contact me again after this.
5. If you cause me any issues while staying. I have every right to boot you out of my home.
There's probably more I'd add on to protect myself.
I would even put this shit in writing. Get it notarized and have her sign it. And if she breaks any of these rules. She's gone.
I remarried after I already had 2 children. I stayed married to my second husband for way too long because I just wanted to make it work. But one thing I would NOT tolerate was my children being treated poorly in any way! That was the only line my ex never crossed, he knew I would be gone in a blink if he didn’t treat my kids right!! Not to mention I treated his 2 kids as my own as well. Children are innocents and need the adults to look after them!!!!! The biggest mistake I made was staying with him because it was the wrong message to send my kids. Never stay with abuse, even just emotional abuse that most can’t even see (physical abuse automatically comes with emotional abuse but the reverse doesn’t.) Fortunately, my children are well adjusted, happily married and successful adults raising families of their own!!!
The friends and OP aren't thinking. You never look at this kind of a situation in terms of emotion. You have to distance yourself and look at things objectively. OP's friends called not helping her being vindictive and holding on to a grudge. They are looking at this from an emotional perspective. What you really need to look at is this: She is the kind of woman who would side with her new family over her own daughter, kick her out without anything and not get in touch with her for 10 years. What kind of mother does that. More importantly, what does that say about OP's mother as a person? And the fact she only comes to OP when she needs help? The friends couche this in terms of bonds but it's clear that there wasn't much of a bond there to begin with. It's not vindictiveness so much as OP's mom not really being a mom and being more like a stranger now. But even still the mom's selfishness is evident and if she can do that so "family" and even her own daughter, what isn't she capable of doing to others? How weak or despicable is she truly? Nothing that OP's mom did speaks of a decent or even average person in terms of character.
Another creamy and dreamy, wonderland doormat content.
I'm curious - do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.
@@luvsavengedsevenfold Did you even understand what my comment means. I think it will take you ages to do that.
@@MCBRUCE76 I'm still interested in understanding how your personal experiences, or lack thereof, may be shaping your views on this topic. Could you please elaborate on that? Your response suggests you're unwilling to engage with the core issue I've raised. I'd encourage you to consider why you feel the need to avoid a direct discussion of this topic. The tendency to quickly judge and dismiss the experiences of abuse victims is a harmful pattern that often stems from a lack of empathy and understanding. I'd urge you to consider how your words may impact those who have faced such challenges.
@@luvsavengedsevenfold What is the point in making you understand, when you couldn't even understand the simplest one line comment on the YT.
It's clear you have no interest in engaging with the core issues I've raised in a thoughtful, evidence-based manner. Your continued dismissiveness and refusal to reflect on your own biases is noted. I can only hope that, in the future, you will be more willing to approach these topics with the empathy and nuance they deserve.
Your mom only came to you when she needed something think about that
OP you are a great person way better than some of us. Your mother did you so wrong but you have the heart to forgive and moved on. You are truly blessed ❤
It's her decision but I honestly do not think that her mother came sincerely out of regret over what she did but only because she had no options left. I honestly don't trust her IMO.
So true
These comments are brutal.😅😅😅 I get it, I really do. But OP gave her mother grace, and grace is granted oftentimes when the person getting it doesn't deserve it. Life humbled this woman. She lost everything. What she thought she gained by forsaking her daughter, God took it ALL away. 'Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.' OP didn't have to do anything else.
Why let a toxic person in your life.
I agree. OP's mother was given more kindness by her daughter than many would think she deserved. It showed that OP was a much better person than her mother by offering help. It also seems as though her mum is trying her best to acknowledge responsibility and 'actions speak louder than words'.
The issue is not whether victims should stand up for themselves - of course they should be empowered to do so. The problem is the implication in the comments of those who engage in victim blaming rhetoric that victims are somehow 'doormats' or 'deserving' of abuse for not standing up to their abusers. That kind of victim-blaming rhetoric is deeply harmful, regardless of how they may try to frame it as 'encouragement.' The focus should be on supporting and empowering victims, not judging them for the complex decisions they are forced to make in abusive situations.
A question to all you victim blamers calling OP "stupid" or a "doormat": Do you have any personal experience with being a victim of abuse yourself? If not, I would encourage you to reflect on how that might shape your perspective and ability to fully understand the complexities faced by those in abusive situations.