He was raised by HER. We have to question every ponderation he makes because it has this psychological bias of being her child, that is the strongest bond of all in human existence. She is the VILE, FILTHY creature who broke this ultimate trust bond. Nothing in his life will be truly normal because, as he said himself, he doesn't know what "normal" is and possibly will never know.
@@karinefonte516lol so? womp womp. that doesn't mean shit. you keep ignoring advice, constantly makes bad decisions and wonders why no bad shit happens. op is knowingly in a toxic relationship but can't do anything
@@oonachestnut509 your no longer a victim when you keep coming around to the abuser. even when he remembered he kept going back around her. never put any boundaries. and made his wife and child suffer. it ain't victim blaming when the victim is to blame
6 minutes in summary-- OP: I made the wrong decision for years, what should I do reddit? OP: so i made another wrong decision, then i made a wrong decision, then i made a wrong decision. why is the situation not getting better yet?
that’s what i really disliked abt OP too till the eventual grooming thing, to WHICHHHH… i just wished he hadn’t been so pushy, things really coulda been different had he been just a bit more mature
He did come off incredibly unlikeable but then again with a mother like that and no past therapy who would be? Its very clear why he acted the way he did but it sucks that it took his marriage falling apart to officially happen but hopefully rest of his life will go better without his mums manipulation and abuse
If a stranger did this, what would you do? Call police. Slightly guilty? Totally guilty. A least now your trying to do things right. Treat your mom like a stranger.
OP was groomed and abused, the first event being when he was a minor which explained his loyalty towards her that even he didnt really understand considering he found her a bit annoying to begin with but would still hold her 1st, Not only does he make the changes and he sticks to them while his mother chooses to escalate, he stays strong to the point of calling police multiple time even after she used extreme measures. he didnt cave. And His wife not only still walks away, she starts dating right away and rejects him hard in the face of the recently learned abuse? Uhm. She is kind of horrible too. She only stuck around to play house while he was working on trying to better things and held hope, while maintaining that if it did work badly then this would be to be a good dad. Like he did everything right to finally fix this when he finally got disillusioned, after decades of grooming and she hates him as a extension of his mother basically, Shes blaming him for everything his mother did and for the "Drama" aka getting rid of his incestuous abuser. Honestly OP You will find a woman who will love you better, all this helps improve your life and make it healthier to share for the next person who will truly be right for you. Its been four years since this all went down, I hope he is doing better now, whatever that may be.
Thank everyone else here just been calling him a momma’s boy and oh he’ll say she had a mental breakdown and be talking to her in five days not realizing she’s groomed him to be her husband.
The entire story is completely sad, I mean OP was groomed by his OWN mother and was S'A by her, I really do feel bad for him because that's a horrible thing, to be violated by someone that is suppose to be your parent. I know he was trying to ask advice on Reddit but they were simply just calling him a "Momma's boy" not even seeing the signs of her grooming him. I do understand the verbal abuse that the wife went through but for her to immediately jump to dating right away makes me think she was probably having an affair or yet not even caring about OP anymore or not even seeing his point of view. I mean he did everything to try to fix the problems but in some way she was just leading him on. I hope OP is doing better and has found a better woman who understands and loves him better.
The wife had every right to leave, OP's mother has been deliberately hurting the wife for so long and OP only realized when he lost it all. I wish him healing, but his wife isn't horrible for getting tired of dealing with the other woman aka his mother.
@cheeseinballs she held him responsible for the mother who groomed, sa'd him and manipulated him and couldnt stop thinking about what was done to *her* even after finding how his mom was a incestuous p*do who had him trained like her puppy, she didnt care which is her choice but im not going to think someone who can disregard and victim blame someone they "loved" like that is a good person. She gave false hope and then ditched and dated right after with no compassion. I never said she didnt have the right to leave but if you relate to her differently cool, thats on you, think what you like of her. I think shes rotten but i wont disagree that she was hurt, neglected, and deserved to get out if it was too much. Im allowed to think shes disgusting for how horribly she did this, not for leaving.
Normally I'd feel bad that the Ex is going to get full custody, the house, the bank account and probably a restraining order but honestly this idiot deserves it all.
I bet if roles were reseved and a Girl was Groomed her Entire life by a S*it father you would have Sympathies with op and call Husband a S*itty Man for living a poor helpless woman wouldn't you
Every single update was "My mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother." No wonder she left. It's not OPs fault but it's not the wifes fault either. That's a lot of crazy. I would not stick around for that.
I feel bad for op and the ex wife. Both were victims of this situation. The Ex didn't ask for any of this. None of this is her fault. While op is not at fault, i do get where she is coming from. And obviously op is a victim. His mom groomed and SAed him. I hope they both are able to heal and move on.
So, OP is an SA victim, was groomed by his mother, stalked and mentally tortured, and his wife just...walked away. I know she dealt with a lot too, but just look at how easy people turn their backs when a man is the victim. Like I've said before, I don't like to use the "reverse the genders" card, but if OP had been a woman and her husband had walked away like the wife did here, everyone would be blasting him. But, here? Most blame OP and pity the wife. Double standard, much?
“I don’t like to use the “reverse the genders” card.” I have no such reservation. Double standards are absolutely EVERYWHERE, and they need to be called out.
@@Emil_LLscpfan OP said everything happened in the span of a few months since the initial separation. So, instead of helping him and giving him time to process the abuse and heal, she left and told him "BTW, I'm going to hook up with an ex." That woman doesn't sound like she's worth it, TBH. Still, OP is the real victim here. Now, he's divorced, with limited time with his baby, dealing with the abuse alone. Come on...
@@Buldogg345 the divorce started in the first story and she tried to help him While op is a victim, everyone is allowed to choice their own happiness especially if they tried to help others
@@Buldogg345but she tried to help. but op constantly ignores his wifes request. and instead of trying to idk cut your mother off you constantly letting her have more and more control making you look like a momma's boy. the ex wife not in the wrong for leaving. she has every right to especially when op isn't doing anything to try and better the situation
OP: “I put my mom before my wife, now she wants a divorce. How can I save my marriage?” Reddit: “Stop putting your mom first.” OP: “So I put my mother first again, and things got worse. How can I save my marriage?” Reddit: “Seriously, stop putting your mom first.” OP: “I heard what everyone was saying, but I ignored it and put my mother first again. Now my situation is even worse. How can I save my marriage?” Reddit: “…”
I feel bad for OP but this is the consequences of his own actions as a husband. And him being an SA victim doesn't automatically absolve his crappy behavior his marriage. This isnt something his mother just sprung on everyone. She's been pulling stunts for years, much to the wife's detriment (and by extension his daughter). He had every opportunity to listen to his wife and get help. He chose not to. He only wanted it when he was going to be directly affected. Yes OP is a victim, but he's also a selfish asshat. Yes you can be both at the same.
Not inappropriate to ask because women tend to have someone else regardless of the reason. But in this case it was because even if that were the case, you drove her into the arms of another man. And your mother is obsessed with you.
Yeah she did the correct thing. This Op no matter how much abuse he has taken he has let mommy abuse his wife for years and and apparently didn't believe his wife thar it was happening. He said multiple times he now knows what his wife was going thru. Also it's the right thing for the child involved. So no the wife did not abandon him in the slightest.
lol good maybe that can open up his eyes. he's constantly letting his mom get away with the bullshit he's constantly complaining about. you can't get upset with someone who finally had enough and wanted out if the relationship
flip the genders bro and everyone will loath the OP calling OP hero but sadly he's a man so he's always the bad guy even when he's the victim because "he did it to him self"
@@izack367that's cap and you know it he's especially is doing it to himself. his wife is literally helping his see that he needs to put stricter boundaries but he's just ignoring them. instead of listening to his wife concern's he blows her off. you can only handle so much
He keeps doing stupid things, they blow up in his face, he admits it was stupid then wonders what he's doing wrong. Like at some point you have to put your mother in her place and he refused to until it was too late. I get he has trauma and his mom abused him but at a certain point you got to stand up for yourself and your partner.
@@HeoBaby24 easier said then done. OP was raised by a single mother with no siblings I assume the only emotional support he had growing up was his POS mother, I don't know u can put your self in his shoes but it's not as easy as braking up with your abusive gf or bf. but OP did what he had to maybe it took a while but he did it. so no he is not at fault its the people around him like his mother and his wife the only 2 people who were suppose to stand by him in this dark time they are the one to blame
I’m gonna go against the grain and say that it’s good that the ex-wife is leaving. Imagine you love someone so much but you’ve come 2nd place. In your marriage. Your wedding wasn’t even yours, your awful mil acts like you’re the other woman when you’re the wife. You’ve fallen out in love and when you have a child and think your husband will finally put you and your daughter first. He puts his mother. I understand that OP was severely sexually abused by his mother and has a lot to unpack to be, not only a good person, but a better father. He needs to be single to learn and understand how unhealthy both his relationships to his mother and wife was. It’s no good to be a relationship where your partner resents you/your mother while you’re unpacking your trauma. A lot of people think the wife should have just stayed but I rather she leave than stay in a marriage where no one is happy. Especially if they have a child. Hopefully the people here will one day mature, and realize that since everyone is bashing the ex-wife. Everyone deserves happiness. The OP deserves to find himself and heal. The wife deserves a health relationship where she’s not competing for love. The daughter deserves two parents that can co-parent without issue.
This guy is acting stupidly but I feel as though not enough people are considering that he was literally groomed since childhood. I was frustrated with him at first but now I just feel super bad for him. What a messed up situation.
Gein, party of two….Gein, party of two…iykyk 😂🪓🩸⚰️ And the worst news is….even after mom is gone….her reach, her influence is still there… “CPS ready” may be the most American thing I’ve heard…make it make sense.
The "CPS ready" thing is because there have been past reddit stories where someone tried to get back at another by filing a false report with CPS to get their kids taken away.
![[Full Story] Found Out My Parents Have Been Supporting My Sister's Secret Family for Years While...](/img/1.gif)
This is the type of OP that would say after everything settles and dies down mom was just having a mental episode we can forgive her now.
He was raised by HER. We have to question every ponderation he makes because it has this psychological bias of being her child, that is the strongest bond of all in human existence.
She is the VILE, FILTHY creature who broke this ultimate trust bond. Nothing in his life will be truly normal because, as he said himself, he doesn't know what "normal" is and possibly will never know.
@@karinefonte516lol so? womp womp. that doesn't mean shit. you keep ignoring advice, constantly makes bad decisions and wonders why no bad shit happens.
op is knowingly in a toxic relationship but can't do anything
@@HeoBaby24Thank you, my god the amount of coddling people are giving a grown ass man in the comments is ridiculous.
@@HeoBaby24That's right. Blame the victim. Smh!
@@oonachestnut509 your no longer a victim when you keep coming around to the abuser.
even when he remembered he kept going back around her.
never put any boundaries.
and made his wife and child suffer.
it ain't victim blaming when the victim is to blame
6 minutes in summary-- OP: I made the wrong decision for years, what should I do reddit? OP: so i made another wrong decision, then i made a wrong decision, then i made a wrong decision. why is the situation not getting better yet?
😂😂😂
I REALLY dont like this first OP at all. He keeps making stupid decisions and then wonder what he did wrong.
that’s what i really disliked abt OP too till the eventual grooming thing, to WHICHHHH… i just wished he hadn’t been so pushy, things really coulda been different had he been just a bit more mature
He did come off incredibly unlikeable but then again with a mother like that and no past therapy who would be? Its very clear why he acted the way he did but it sucks that it took his marriage falling apart to officially happen but hopefully rest of his life will go better without his mums manipulation and abuse
If a stranger did this, what would you do? Call police. Slightly guilty? Totally guilty. A least now your trying to do things right. Treat your mom like a stranger.
OP was groomed and abused, the first event being when he was a minor which explained his loyalty towards her that even he didnt really understand considering he found her a bit annoying to begin with but would still hold her 1st, Not only does he make the changes and he sticks to them while his mother chooses to escalate, he stays strong to the point of calling police multiple time even after she used extreme measures. he didnt cave. And His wife not only still walks away, she starts dating right away and rejects him hard in the face of the recently learned abuse? Uhm. She is kind of horrible too. She only stuck around to play house while he was working on trying to better things and held hope, while maintaining that if it did work badly then this would be to be a good dad. Like he did everything right to finally fix this when he finally got disillusioned, after decades of grooming and she hates him as a extension of his mother basically, Shes blaming him for everything his mother did and for the "Drama" aka getting rid of his incestuous abuser. Honestly OP You will find a woman who will love you better, all this helps improve your life and make it healthier to share for the next person who will truly be right for you.
Its been four years since this all went down, I hope he is doing better now, whatever that may be.
Thank everyone else here just been calling him a momma’s boy and oh he’ll say she had a mental breakdown and be talking to her in five days not realizing she’s groomed him to be her husband.
@@superiorrule34Fr
The entire story is completely sad, I mean OP was groomed by his OWN mother and was S'A by her, I really do feel bad for him because that's a horrible thing, to be violated by someone that is suppose to be your parent. I know he was trying to ask advice on Reddit but they were simply just calling him a "Momma's boy" not even seeing the signs of her grooming him. I do understand the verbal abuse that the wife went through but for her to immediately jump to dating right away makes me think she was probably having an affair or yet not even caring about OP anymore or not even seeing his point of view. I mean he did everything to try to fix the problems but in some way she was just leading him on. I hope OP is doing better and has found a better woman who understands and loves him better.
The wife had every right to leave, OP's mother has been deliberately hurting the wife for so long and OP only realized when he lost it all. I wish him healing, but his wife isn't horrible for getting tired of dealing with the other woman aka his mother.
@cheeseinballs she held him responsible for the mother who groomed, sa'd him and manipulated him and couldnt stop thinking about what was done to *her* even after finding how his mom was a incestuous p*do who had him trained like her puppy, she didnt care which is her choice but im not going to think someone who can disregard and victim blame someone they "loved" like that is a good person. She gave false hope and then ditched and dated right after with no compassion. I never said she didnt have the right to leave but if you relate to her differently cool, thats on you, think what you like of her. I think shes rotten but i wont disagree that she was hurt, neglected, and deserved to get out if it was too much. Im allowed to think shes disgusting for how horribly she did this, not for leaving.
Normally I'd feel bad that the Ex is going to get full custody, the house, the bank account and probably a restraining order but honestly this idiot deserves it all.
I bet if roles were reseved and a Girl was Groomed her Entire life by a S*it father you would have Sympathies with op and call Husband a S*itty Man for living a poor helpless woman wouldn't you
Every single update was "My mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother."
No wonder she left. It's not OPs fault but it's not the wifes fault either. That's a lot of crazy. I would not stick around for that.
It's op fault
@@yeyosilver7067its always the childs fault when theyre SA'd by their parent
@@Kris-wo4pj One month bro, just leave
The hair letter omfg!!!!! This story is VILE
I feel bad for op and the ex wife. Both were victims of this situation. The Ex didn't ask for any of this. None of this is her fault. While op is not at fault, i do get where she is coming from. And obviously op is a victim. His mom groomed and SAed him. I hope they both are able to heal and move on.
This is hella sad for the OP
Meh, he made his bed.
More like Hella Stupid
So, OP is an SA victim, was groomed by his mother, stalked and mentally tortured, and his wife just...walked away. I know she dealt with a lot too, but just look at how easy people turn their backs when a man is the victim. Like I've said before, I don't like to use the "reverse the genders" card, but if OP had been a woman and her husband had walked away like the wife did here, everyone would be blasting him. But, here? Most blame OP and pity the wife. Double standard, much?
The wife didnt know the abuse just that op is letting his mom take more and more controll of their lives
“I don’t like to use the “reverse the genders” card.”
I have no such reservation. Double standards are absolutely EVERYWHERE, and they need to be called out.
@@Emil_LLscpfan OP said everything happened in the span of a few months since the initial separation. So, instead of helping him and giving him time to process the abuse and heal, she left and told him "BTW, I'm going to hook up with an ex." That woman doesn't sound like she's worth it, TBH. Still, OP is the real victim here. Now, he's divorced, with limited time with his baby, dealing with the abuse alone. Come on...
@@Buldogg345 the divorce started in the first story and she tried to help him
While op is a victim, everyone is allowed to choice their own happiness especially if they tried to help others
@@Buldogg345but she tried to help. but op constantly ignores his wifes request.
and instead of trying to idk cut your mother off you constantly letting her have more and more control making you look like a momma's boy.
the ex wife not in the wrong for leaving. she has every right to especially when op isn't doing anything to try and better the situation
OP: “I put my mom before my wife, now she wants a divorce. How can I save my marriage?”
Reddit: “Stop putting your mom first.”
OP: “So I put my mother first again, and things got worse. How can I save my marriage?”
Reddit: “Seriously, stop putting your mom first.”
OP: “I heard what everyone was saying, but I ignored it and put my mother first again. Now my situation is even worse. How can I save my marriage?”
Reddit: “…”
1:24 bro I’m hearing this guy talk. HES MOIST😂😂😂
6:18 the fact that he said that oh my God I can't even watch this anymore this relationship is so Doom it's unreal oh my God
I feel bad for OP but this is the consequences of his own actions as a husband.
And him being an SA victim doesn't automatically absolve his crappy behavior his marriage.
This isnt something his mother just sprung on everyone. She's been pulling stunts for years, much to the wife's detriment (and by extension his daughter). He had every opportunity to listen to his wife and get help. He chose not to. He only wanted it when he was going to be directly affected.
Yes OP is a victim, but he's also a selfish asshat. Yes you can be both at the same.
💯👍🏿
Not inappropriate to ask because women tend to have someone else regardless of the reason. But in this case it was because even if that were the case, you drove her into the arms of another man. And your mother is obsessed with you.
This story left a bad taste in my mouth, holy shit.
That… was a ride. 😬
“…washing the dishes…” are you 🦆ing killing me???? Cut the cord dude
Mom 🤪
😮
OH MAH GAWD
THE HAIR
😂😂😂
Holy flerking 💩 this is right up there next to the pee gate saga.
So OP was abused for decades and wife abandons him for her ex
Yup
Yeah she did the correct thing. This Op no matter how much abuse he has taken he has let mommy abuse his wife for years and and apparently didn't believe his wife thar it was happening. He said multiple times he now knows what his wife was going thru. Also it's the right thing for the child involved. So no the wife did not abandon him in the slightest.
PCan't help someone who won't help themselves. And especially is they only work on it when you said you had enough and leaving.
lol good maybe that can open up his eyes.
he's constantly letting his mom get away with the bullshit he's constantly complaining about.
you can't get upset with someone who finally had enough and wanted out if the relationship
From a purely practical standpoint, the wife did the only thing she could for herself and her daughter.
A lot of victim blaming in this
flip the genders bro and everyone will loath the OP
calling OP hero but sadly he's a man so he's always the bad guy even when he's the victim because "he did it to him self"
@@izack367that's cap and you know it
he's especially is doing it to himself.
his wife is literally helping his see that he needs to put stricter boundaries but he's just ignoring them.
instead of listening to his wife concern's he blows her off.
you can only handle so much
He keeps doing stupid things, they blow up in his face, he admits it was stupid then wonders what he's doing wrong. Like at some point you have to put your mother in her place and he refused to until it was too late.
I get he has trauma and his mom abused him but at a certain point you got to stand up for yourself and your partner.
@@HeoBaby24 easier said then done. OP was raised by a single mother with no siblings I assume the only emotional support he had growing up was his POS mother, I don't know u can put your self in his shoes but it's not as easy as braking up with your abusive gf or bf. but OP did what he had to maybe it took a while but he did it. so no he is not at fault its the people around him like his mother and his wife the only 2 people who were suppose to stand by him in this dark time they are the one to blame
@@theexpertbc1175 he did stood up for his family but the family never stood up for him in his dark time
"Guilted" naw he wasn't. He chose to. Mm she told him that to hurt him, not as a heads up.
He was groomed by his mother...
I’m gonna go against the grain and say that it’s good that the ex-wife is leaving. Imagine you love someone so much but you’ve come 2nd place. In your marriage. Your wedding wasn’t even yours, your awful mil acts like you’re the other woman when you’re the wife. You’ve fallen out in love and when you have a child and think your husband will finally put you and your daughter first.
He puts his mother.
I understand that OP was severely sexually abused by his mother and has a lot to unpack to be, not only a good person, but a better father. He needs to be single to learn and understand how unhealthy both his relationships to his mother and wife was. It’s no good to be a relationship where your partner resents you/your mother while you’re unpacking your trauma. A lot of people think the wife should have just stayed but I rather she leave than stay in a marriage where no one is happy. Especially if they have a child. Hopefully the people here will one day mature, and realize that since everyone is bashing the ex-wife.
Everyone deserves happiness. The OP deserves to find himself and heal. The wife deserves a health relationship where she’s not competing for love. The daughter deserves two parents that can co-parent without issue.
💯👍🏿
MC RUN RUN RUN 😂
This guy is acting stupidly but I feel as though not enough people are considering that he was literally groomed since childhood. I was frustrated with him at first but now I just feel super bad for him. What a messed up situation.
She got back with him?????????????? 11:37
😂
nuts
Fake.
uh second??
First!
❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
85
🤔
Day 109 of commenting to help secretvoices
Day 109 day of commenting thank you for your support
Gein, party of two….Gein, party of two…iykyk 😂🪓🩸⚰️
And the worst news is….even after mom is gone….her reach, her influence is still there…
“CPS ready” may be the most American thing I’ve heard…make it make sense.
The "CPS ready" thing is because there have been past reddit stories where someone tried to get back at another by filing a false report with CPS to get their kids taken away.