Exactly. I have mental health issues and I dont use them as an excuse for doing things wrong. You still have the capability to know right and wrong. Emotional disregulation does not remove that.
@@Shadowkey392 But apologizing still is a thing. Just blaming it on mental health and not wanting to make it better is not helping anyone. PLaying the victim and blaming others for not just forgiving you while nothing has changed isnt helping anyone. If people still refuse to change and keep acting the same way and fail to take accountability for their actions, even if related to mental health, then that is not the only problem. In this case the mother kept making things worse and worse by refusing to do anything or take any responsibility. Her adult son and his partner were the ones to blame, not her and her behaviour, it was them for not forgiving her. The emphasis the mother put was on THEM to change, not her apologizing for anything, not her for telling her other familiy the actual truth of the situation, it was all put on the other two,
I have the feeling she doesn't have mental health issues. It seems to me a lot of people use anxiety and other problems as excuses to act like the assholes they really are...
The mother almost sounded borderline. They often condition their children to "not break mommy". Children of borderlines, like children of lifelong alcoholics, often end up trying to fix their parent, and are highly attuned to others needs before their own.
In my case, my wife thought I took my mother's side because I was so far into shock I couldn't speak. I've gone so far no contact that I told her all of us would be better off if she were dead.
The only jerk is the mom and that side of the family. While mental health is a reason for bad behaviour it is not an excuse for it. You dont have to forgive anyone for what they did, even your mother. Family owes you nothing. If you wouldnt acept the behaviour from anyone else, you dont have to accept it from family, you should expect better.
His family aren't the "jerks". They are being fed one side of a story. Then know nothing of the other side or the events leading up to this. The correct approach would be to handle this on a solid front and with a calm head. The OP in this case is just as guilty as the Mother. It is like watching one of those Housewives TV shows. Once an issue arises each woman involved simply has to win the argument. Refuses to stand down. So each woman escalates it to another level. For example, the OP shouldn't have been dealing with "Mom" directly. This should have come from her husband. So when she posted a picture of him and his EX, he is the one who should have tore into her for her. Not her. Unfriending people on social media is just passive / aggressive BS. The best way to have handled this was to put everything on record in social media. So the rest of his family knows Mom is pulling some #$%^. The next thing, is the husband just needed to contact the other brother and basically state, "Bro, you have no idea the crazy crap Mom has pulled. You getting a very diluted one sided version from her perspective. Completely void of her $%^&. If you want to communicate in a reasonable manner, I'll be more than happy to do so. But before we can have that discussion, you need to apologize to my wife for calling her a "B" multiple times. " And yes, OP venting on social media is also some passive aggressive crap. She has to get vindicated. Proved to be right because she done burnt that bridge with his family before they even knew Mom had started the broadside across the bow.
Your Inlaws are truly whacked. You're definitely a strong couple. Your Husband is a good goddamn man. You're awesome wife lady. Good Bless to both you guys. STAY Strong. POedvet63...
@@superdave8248 no, she had just as much a right to approach her about these problems and how poorly she (the mom) is treating her son. And unfriending people is not passive aggressive, especially when they are treating you and your husband poorly. You seem to forget how the mother in law has insulted OP multiple times and makes it seem like she’s controlling and manipulative, and would rather her son be with an abusive partner.
@@fandomtrash7505also, I find it hard to believe that FIL and BIL only have one side of the story considering they hated the ex, yet the photo of OP’s husband, MIL, and the ex are all there on social media for everyone to see. You can’t possibly tell me you only have one side of the story when someone is THAT public about their feelings. It sounds like FIL and BIL know enough to understand the kind of person MIL is, but are to much of enablers to care how much it affects OP and her husband. They just want the old status quo back.
Honestly, if i was op's husband i would've Just cut contact, change home and change surname, and never ever hear about my hometown again, somebody Who does this deserves to be forgotten forever
The mother-in-law will NEVER see the damage she'd caused her son. She's a textbook narcissist, judging by the numerous instances of gaslighting in the story. What kind of apology is "I'm sorry she was upset" as opposed to "I'm sorry I offended her" anyway? That said... OP definitely wasn't the jerk here. While the best course of action is to disengage (a narcissist is never wrong and always the victim in their own eyes) it wasn't a viable option based on her circumstances, and her reaction is completely understandable.
Considering the similarities between the ex and the mother as well as the asserted similarities the brother claims to see in OP, I think the dad is what you get when you don't get out of that sort of relationship. You end up becoming an extension of the abuser, even if you think you mean well. The mother really did a number on all the men in this family.
“Blaming herself for everything that happened.” Uh yeah bc it was all her fault. I’m also “chemically imbalanced” but I couldn’t fathom being a mother that would do this to her son and blame the disease. She, her other son, the dad and the rest of the family are all gross.
They handled this way too calmly, I would absolutely SNAP as soon as that close minded cretin of a mother got 'concerned" about the OP. WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS. I get that the mother is bipolar and has anxiety and depression, but I would be to pissed off to care.
Same, I’m honestly surprised on how calm OP and her husband was towards this bullshit and I actually envy that. My petty, hot-headed ass would’ve send a long text listing the stuff they pulled on their son and how they aren’t in the position to “call me out” on my behavior when they did worse things if I was in OP’s place. Pretty disgusting how the mother-in-law is using her mental health issues as an excuse to mistreat everyone and pull the victim card whenever she can. Mental health isn’t an excuse to act like a jerk, period
The op is amazing for sticking up for her husband and trying to protect and keep him safe, especially the husband for staying with his wife, I hope they get a happy life together, that horrible family is trying to keep the husband with manipulating and holding him accountable if his mom ends herself
The guy should have started saying "NO" to his mom long before this happened. IMO the couple should keep it as it is and try to reconnect after a few months/years, only if the initiative comes from the family and reassuring that their boundaries are clear and well understood by the family.
OP's BIL thinks his brother automatically respects his family after calling his much better wife "a carbon copy of your ex" who left him broken, battered and bruised, when the family did nothing to help? I would have responded "'This family' lost the right to my respect."
I have little doubt that the bil is not being an instigator for selfish reasons. The mil would call twice weekly to complain about him. If the complaints were legit.....than maybe he needs to get his life straightened out. If the complaints were not legit, then he should have been empathetic to OP. Imo, hes probably just happy that he isnt the focus of mil
You just have to go complete NO CONTACT. Permanently. Their behavior, (mother, father and siblings and any of their friends or family that take it upon themselves to interfere) is toxic. Husband’s job in the military demands complete concentration and they are detrimental to his health and well-being.
If the person is toxic is like venom, you dont have to drink and tolerate that. In this story the husband probably was the psychological sponge for her mother now he is gone. The mother goes to other members of the family. So now they see the problem they want YOU(the huaband in this case ) to go back and be the sponge again. My father has to deal something similar with my grandma of my mother side. To the family he was a shit person, my mother family threat us like the lower ones. Bc my aunt has more money and my uncle poor guy he doesnt get a good job. But my dad took it like i champ even i was the last grandchild my other cousins get the love of my grandparents. When my grandmother began tobe weak it was my father and mother who have to take her to the medic and take care of her for days in my house. The last time my grandmother said goodbye after we took care of her for 2 weeks and said goodbye Andrew my rich cousin name. That snapped my father and said no more. She has 2 other sons. We are done. And the toxic begin. That they dont have the time that taking care of here was dificult bc of the childrens bla bla. My father said we have a children also now is your turn and he deploy all the shit that the family did to us. So never again. And thats when they realize all that my parents did for her. But it was too late. My parents broke contact with the family they are garbage.and it was for the better. My parents were happier and i also. So yes toxic people you need to get out of your life
I hope your dad is happier than he’s ever been for the rest of his life. That you and your mom are happier too. May every day be happier than the next.
Love how the OP’s family-law keeps spouting about the Mother-in-laws mental health while disregarding the husband’s. Just goes to show they never cared about him and only themselves. Glad he decided to drop them
"She's taking the blocking really hard and blaming herself for everything." Uhh yeah? That's what she should be doing lol It WAS her fault and she should feel bad about it.
Part 1 of the story (puppy portion): Yet ANOTHER reason why I don't trust Petco. Sure, I worked at a rival pet store for about 6-7 years, but still, that doesn't change the fact that I already knew more about taking care of most animals than all of the Petco employees that I have encountered, or heard about, before I even started working at the rival pet store. Heck, I was the only employee there that had taken care of animals from the wild, so a LOT of employees recommended customers to me when they said something along the lines of "my kid found this..." or "we found this...". I WISH I had some good Petco encounters, but I've dealt with three different Petco stores, in 2 different states, and I have yet to encounter ONE good/competent Petco employee/store.
No wonder the mother in law preferred the abusive ex wife considering they were practically the same person. She would rather have her son be abused and miserable than have a happy and healthy relationship. Gross.
Block them, I have a mother like this, the things she said about my wife, would curl your toe nails, they never stop, you just have to cut them out, they will never change, I know, I have one and haven't talked to her in over 20 years, she is to toxic.
I've been through plenty of mental issues. She is a grown women. Him being comfortable with him self trying to live with out being bullied. And I wouldn't reward bad behavior like trying to unalive her self. Her mental health shouldn't be a excuse to cause other people's mental health to crash. Respect is important. Over all separation is key till they learn or till you forget them. Send post card ignore all else
Attempt is not the same as actually committing. The mother-in-law is just looking for attention and has no intention of doing that, so it is just bad behaviour, not an actual cry for help.
I've been through a very similar situation as the OP's husband. Had mother act in a identical manner and dad was supportive of my decisions. I had to block them after making my stand I was done. Had my older sister message me trying to blame me just like the brother. I left the door open for my mom but she has to take the initiative and grow up. OP is not the jerk. Just a concerned and loving spouse
Causally puts own sons life through hell says that she absolutely hates him then she wants contact again. I think the mother does it for the whole family if not abusing the son. That why the father BEGED for contact again so she could do it to him and so she won't take it out on him. He still sees the actions she did AND HE STILL CHOOSES TO STAY WITH HER. Don't unblock them. Furthermore change mobile contact so she can't call you and like hell she's taking the drive to just abuse him again. She will always pick the most distant family member to use as a emotional stress ball
Being former military and having had to move alot, I blows my mind that the mother had an issue with his new station. Not like he has a say in thr matter. You get orders, you go. Simple as that
Sing it, sister. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard of parents who don't understand why their child has to be assigned to deployable ships (um, they're in the Navy, ships kinda go with that, right?), why they can't talk about certain things... it made me nuts.
When you have a parent like that you learn to stand up for yourself or you let them walk all over you. I have a mom just like that. Sometimes you just have to walk away & give it to God to deal with.
There is no excuse for abuse. This couple deserves so much better than a hypertoxic and abusive family on any side. The couple did so great in not only giving them a proper bollocking, but also in cutting off such a gangrenous limb. May his family reap what they have sewn. If I had any abuse hurled at me by my fam…they’ll be dead to me.
Dogs are not supposed to eat any type of nut especially not peanuts since that can kill them. (I have had dogs since i was 2 so i have learnt a few things about them)
Husband & wife were correct in blocking the family. You are not the jerks the family is the father-in-law mother brother are the jerks. It is your's and your wife's life don't let anything come between you two ever again.
It is hard to the ones that weren't abused to ever understand the abused ones feel, and with this type of family, even thought you are abused, slide it off and continue to take damages are what they, the ones who are abusing, considered to be your best course of action, otherwise they won't have any victim to bully anymore.
I am so tired of golden children who give the scapegoat a hard time for kicking narcissistic parents out of their life. It doesn't matter if they were manipulated. All it shows is that they don't have the empathy to care that their sibling is being mistreated. All they care about is the fact that they aren't.
If you have to choose between your own mental health, that of your spouse and on the other hand that of toxic family, the simple question is this: where are you happiest? Because toxic family do not change. It is a vicious circle that will always repeat itself. They are what they are. Let that light guide your decisionmaking.
After watching this story I am reminded of my own family I have a mother who suffers from drug abuse and mental illness and her entire way of thinking is if you do not benefit her or provide for her then there is no use in her life for you I am her oldest son the first born of my siblings and of the three of us there's only two left I lost my brother to suicide and that's a story for another time but my mother is very much like the woman in this story she evicted me and my wife from an apartment that she owned because she wanted live in healthcare for her serious condition my mother's serious condition is is that she doesn't have enough marijuana or methamphetamine she loses her mind my mother after not seeing or hearing from me for 15 years because of the last time she pulled a stunt like this had the nerve to tell me that my wife's only use for me was my money because I'm a truck driver not because my wife is an administrative assistant making almost as much money as I did and that no woman would want to have anything to do with me as long as I chose to live my life on the road I have no use for people like this I agree with the way this couple took care of the situation I also have ostracized my mother because of her treatment of me over the last 40 years and because of her recent treatment of my wife I am a grown man I'm 40 years old and I live my life accordingly nobody and I repeat nobody is going to tell me what to do anymore not even the woman who gave me life because that's the only thing she has given me other than post-traumatic stress disorder and a headache that has lasted the better part of my life to everybody out there who has very similar issues I say stay strong and ex the people out of your life that do not benefit you praise you or help you be a better person at the end of the day it is up to you only you can make yourself better person trying to live up to the standards of your mother's and your father's dooms you to repeat the same mistakes that they made
No! Stand your ground and have a peaceful life you don’t need that in your life I have no contact with my family and I don’t miss them no drama or nonsense in mine and my daughters life worth it believe me they abandoned me when I became a single parent and times over the years have been tough but so worth it I’m very proud of her and she has had toxic people drain her at times but she just said don’t need this in my life! And stopped helping their constant drama! They want to make you both feel guilty that’s emotional blackmail you don’t need that in your lives! 🏴♥️
Mental health can’t force you to be chronically abusive. Having mood swings is understandable and can lead to some conflicts, but you will come to your senses later and regret it.
What would help a lot would be to respectfully say I'm sorry I'm in a bad mood today can we talk about this later? But no, most people just get horrible and then say oh I was in a foul mood but won't even try to excuse themselves by saying something half decent that would be forgivable.
Ha I went no contact with mine, hell no. If they want to unlive themselves bc they can’t stand the consequences of their actions that’s their choice 🤷🏽♀️. I wasn’t put on this earth to be a person’s punching bag, doormat, trash can, fireplace, etc etc. Narcissist are evil and I want no parts.
“Blaming herself for everything that happened” 😐😑😐 It is your fault for everything that happened and you should feel disgusted by the sight of your own face The amount of pain you have put this man through I’m still surprised that he hasn’t already kicked the bucket You should take responsibility of your actions apologize and make sure you help him through all the suffering you have put him through You should feel sorry you should be crying about it cause sooner or later she’s gonna cut you off forever and you already know it’s gonna be your fault I’m writing this for this long to tell you how much you should feel bad and how sorry you have to be to him to make up for all the pain you have put him through And for the OP she is not a jerk Telling the mother-in-law that is making her own son go into depression to F off Or anything similar to that word Is not being a jerk you’re just trying to help out somebody who’s being pushed into depression from some old woman The OP’s mother-in-law should feel ashamed for dragging the family into her side when she knows she’s the one who’s in the wrong In conclusion the OP is not a joke for the reason of trying to help her husband when the mother-in-law is putting him through depression on purpose and not trying to help when she knows her son is suffering the mother-in-law is a bad person who you should not be anywhere near and I don’t even know if she can change at this point And I hope the best of luck to the good couple and I hope your mother-in-law finally sees her wrongdoings and stops (sorry that was so long I just need to get everything out of me after seeing this)
It sounds like the son is the only sane person in the family, and he finally found a sane woman to marry! I have sisters that are like the mother in law, and you cannot do much to reason with them.
Mental health does not excuse poor choices. If you have mental health issues that's all the more reason to come forward first and humble yourself, stating you know you have a problem and you want to change but need their help. If she had any common sense, she would have done this. But she doesn't want to fix her problems. She wants to justify her actions. That's not the sign of someone who wants to become better. The family is trash for not seeing this, and caving to her toxic demands. Sincerely, ~ Someone who struggles with mental issues (bipolar-depression) and doesn't use it to excuse their poor choices.
As someone who deals with mental illness, it is no excuse act in such a way. I am guilty of this in the past, but I have learned from my mistakes. From the sounds of the story, the mother in law is supposedly getting help, but is it the right help she needs??
I see a lot of people saying mental health is no excuse. Which is very very true. Although; the thing that made me understand to the mother was “starting a new treatment”. Boy howdy is that like the most DIFFICULT time in a process of getting better in mental health. Though knowing those two sides of you: taking responsibility of your actions and emotions is key. That is a skill that her and her family hasn’t learned yet. She is going to fail allot in her journey and probably will not learn that lesson unless her husband and son can help teach her that way but i totally get where the mother is at. Ive been there; not fun, confusing time, testing drug after drug, feeling like your being pulled apart and unable yo control anything.
I wish I could be open about both my own sweet mother (may she rest in peace) and my toxic mother-in-law (may she also RIP). I'm in my late 60s, and have memories of both of them being kind, sweet, understanding, etc. My mother remained that way, even though she had a chemical imbalance in her brain that came out in some horrible ways. Nothing, however, she ever did was mean-spirited. She was a nice and happy person, and loved her family. The issues were when she perceived (almost always falsely) that someone had, or might, hurt her family. She was fierce in her protection of those she loved. My MiL, on the other hand, mellowed a lot as she aged, but she was the only person who had ever slapped my adult, married with children, face. And it was because I wouldn't move the empty grocery sacks from where my sweetheart (her daughter) and I decided to keep them, to the place she thought they belonged (under the kitchen sink). Yes, she slapped me. It wasn't hard. It was meant to humiliate me. It didn't. I found it humorous, but only later. When it happened, I was pretty angry. I was recovering from knee surgery and couldn't just hop to her demands like some random child. I was only in my late 30s, but still.... The problem with crazies like the OP's MiL is they picture, and act as though, their baby boy is still their baby boy. They won't allow them to grow up, and they panic, and start to manipulate things to get them back the way they were. If you understand this, you can deal with it better. Sometimes. One thing crazy people don't understand: If you treat your child's spouse badly, don't count on getting to know your grandchildren. If you treat both your child and their spouse badly, you are guaranteed never to see your grandchildren. Do you want to see your grandchildren? Act accordingly, Karen! (This hurts because my cousin is named Karen, and she's a very nice, patient person, and never a "Karen")
Biggest red flag that anyone is unhinged is treating animals like a human. Especially huskys they are one of the closest related breeds to wolf's a pack animal that must be guided by the most dominant member.
I stopped talking to my family 20 yrs ago for the same reasons except my mom was not mentally unstable but was still abusive and they havent even tried to talk to my daughter in the same amount of time. So I would just stay with what you are doing
The way the brother and the father talked tells me that they didn't know the hole story. It wouldn't surprise me it that's actually the case. But there's other variant that she perceived the things she did differently or because of their illness like my grandmother who sometimes didn't understand what was happening around her and will made-up all the stuff you can think of, like she went to a shop to buy something and come back with the groceries but with a story saying she saw my grandfather with a woman even though grandfather was with me and my cousin the hole time she was out. Or is because people will always believe that they did the right thing in any moment even if they didn't. So they say there part of the story that can be similar to what happened or pretty far of off it. There's other possibility that she just doesn't want her kids to be or married or away from her for too long, so she will make them go back to her in any way possible. She probably perching that OP is the reason she doesn't has her boy back home so she tries to separate them.
That text was a mistake It's OK to feel that, but you've forced him to choose them or you. You should have let him send the text. Nightmare in laws is unfortunately part of the deal. In this circumstance you just have to suck it up and count down the days.
I have to say it's not easy dealing with an overbearing parent. But it's definitely a classic red flag of an abuser when they make you feel like it's them or your family. Not saying either side is right, just that both are making the same mistakes
tbh i feel like the whole dog-care thing was let off way too easily. as soon as I heard "free feeder" I knew it was going to end VERY poorly, and whaddya know it did. at least the actual owners seem to know how to raise a dog. still, i vote to get revenge for the husky puppy!!!
Absolutely you should have blocked them they're blaming you for the drama they cause and putting the blame on you the way you treated her when it was your mother who was treating you like dirt worse than dirt she probably told the story to make her the victim and that's why your brother is it's unloading on you that's what Karen's do
I wonder if the husband's brother knows what their mother did to their dog Got him sick, tried to guilt trip them telling them that they have been abusing their dog, pretty much tried to kill the dog and get them arrested 😤😠😤😠😤😠😤
So, the dog was basically being tortured and the FIL did nothing? Nice guy. Willing to let a puppy be abused for his wife. She keeps his balls in her purse. Anything she says is "Yes dear". He believes "Happy wife, happy life" even if sentient beings get hurt in the process.
Ok I'm a pretty chill guy and have seen lots of these and the people on the husbands side of the family disgust me so much it fiscally made me uncomfortable
If this is an accurate depiction what happened, the mom need proper help, the brother needs to keep his oar out of it, and the best case scenario for the dad is that he genuinely feels in the middle and just wants everyone to be on speaking terms.
I think father-in-law just wants the drama to end. He's trying to push everyone together when rn that won't work. I also don't fil doesn't know the whole story and only has info from his wife
So she liked that he was an abusive ex that kept him weak and in control and hates op for standing up for herself and making him strong enough to push back this just looks like her wanting to dominate her son's life and doesnt like it when someone makes him strong enough so she cant she attempted to make a rift fails and then plays the mental health card to try snd emotionally guilt him its good of them to cut them pff as if they have a kid i can say in confidence they would try and brainwash that kid into hating them
Op is not the jerk. She was more than fair. In fact, I think her husband should cut ties and take preventive measures just in case someone shows up on their doorstep uninvited.
The mil may have excuses for her behavior, but what excuse does the brother have? Imo, he's the main problem because of instead of trying to take a fair and neutral stance....he seems to be dogpiling. This will make the MIL feel justified in her behavior. The brother may be doing it for selfish reasons as well. If the mother calls weekly to complain about the brother.....the brother may just feel good that he isnt the focus of her behavior and may even influence the MIL to be more mad than normal against OP and her husband. Sometimes the fuel to the fire is the third party. They will poke you on the side and say, "Yea, I did that thing.....but look at (insert name). Hes such a jerk." Also, the brother's behavior and boldness to call OP a b-word....Im guessing he is single.
we never had problems with our puppies over eating, the few rescues we had that had issues with it, got over it once they got use to the fact that food was always available and they didnt need to eat as much as they could because they wouldnt know when they would be fed again, the worst one my granny spent a week spackin her on the hed with a rolled poster, after more then a set amount of bites, she also was the one who adopted the dog off us because... well... she was a good dog and... granny became attached... her husband... well he grumbled constantly... but... you never saw him go for a ride without calling the dog... and he was always walking around with dog treats in his pockets... sort of like how my father is a funny guy when it comes to cats.... he "hates" them...yet when hes asleep in his chair, if a cat crawls in his lap... he pets the kitty... as he snores...
I hope her husband used his military training to beat the ever living crap out of his brother, that woulda been a fight on sight and specifically breaking his texting fingers since he wanted to hide behind a screen instead of being the "so called man" he was telling ops husband to be.
When I was 13, after years of severe bullying and familial abuse, my crush asked me out. I agreed, but I was skeptical, cuz the court issues that my sister caused were just about wrapped up, and I was about to get back with my mom, away from my abusive grandparents and sister. He then turned around and him and his friends immediately started laughing at me. If it weren't for the fact that we were at the public pool, he no doubt would have found pleasure in my tears
if you remember The Sopranos this the kind of person the same as Lydia.This kind of person exist, because my grandma (from my dad) are one of it.she's at first impression was kind and generous person, but no that was just her mask.she eventually later try to demeaning, manipulate the people close and taking care of her.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Mental health issues does not excuse abuse, especially when the perpetrators know if they have issues that hurt the people in their lives.
Exactly. I have mental health issues and I dont use them as an excuse for doing things wrong. You still have the capability to know right and wrong. Emotional disregulation does not remove that.
True, but not everyone can help it. That’s why mental health problems are so problematic.
@@Shadowkey392 But apologizing still is a thing. Just blaming it on mental health and not wanting to make it better is not helping anyone. PLaying the victim and blaming others for not just forgiving you while nothing has changed isnt helping anyone. If people still refuse to change and keep acting the same way and fail to take accountability for their actions, even if related to mental health, then that is not the only problem. In this case the mother kept making things worse and worse by refusing to do anything or take any responsibility. Her adult son and his partner were the ones to blame, not her and her behaviour, it was them for not forgiving her. The emphasis the mother put was on THEM to change, not her apologizing for anything, not her for telling her other familiy the actual truth of the situation, it was all put on the other two,
I have the feeling she doesn't have mental health issues. It seems to me a lot of people use anxiety and other problems as excuses to act like the assholes they really are...
@@claytonbouldin9381 That could also be true. But like we all said before, its never really an excuse for bad behaviour, even if it stems from it.
I’m really glad the husband stood up for his wife - in so many stories the guy takes the toxic mother’s side.
That's very true.
The mother almost sounded borderline. They often condition their children to "not break mommy".
Children of borderlines, like children of lifelong alcoholics, often end up trying to fix their parent, and are highly attuned to others needs before their own.
He stood up for himself
In my case, my wife thought I took my mother's side because I was so far into shock I couldn't speak. I've gone so far no contact that I told her all of us would be better off if she were dead.
MF needed to man up! Acted too feminine the whole way through. Had the wife fighting battles with his family the whole way through.
The OP's speech actually had me applauding. That is how you properly lay into someone. Bravo.
The only jerk is the mom and that side of the family. While mental health is a reason for bad behaviour it is not an excuse for it. You dont have to forgive anyone for what they did, even your mother. Family owes you nothing. If you wouldnt acept the behaviour from anyone else, you dont have to accept it from family, you should expect better.
His family aren't the "jerks". They are being fed one side of a story. Then know nothing of the other side or the events leading up to this.
The correct approach would be to handle this on a solid front and with a calm head. The OP in this case is just as guilty as the Mother. It is like watching one of those Housewives TV shows. Once an issue arises each woman involved simply has to win the argument. Refuses to stand down. So each woman escalates it to another level.
For example, the OP shouldn't have been dealing with "Mom" directly. This should have come from her husband. So when she posted a picture of him and his EX, he is the one who should have tore into her for her. Not her. Unfriending people on social media is just passive / aggressive BS.
The best way to have handled this was to put everything on record in social media. So the rest of his family knows Mom is pulling some #$%^. The next thing, is the husband just needed to contact the other brother and basically state, "Bro, you have no idea the crazy crap Mom has pulled. You getting a very diluted one sided version from her perspective. Completely void of her $%^&. If you want to communicate in a reasonable manner, I'll be more than happy to do so. But before we can have that discussion, you need to apologize to my wife for calling her a "B" multiple times. "
And yes, OP venting on social media is also some passive aggressive crap. She has to get vindicated. Proved to be right because she done burnt that bridge with his family before they even knew Mom had started the broadside across the bow.
It isn't your fault that you wound up where you are in life. It is, however, your responsibility. Only you can fix yourself.
Your Inlaws are truly whacked. You're definitely a strong couple. Your Husband is a good goddamn man. You're awesome wife lady. Good Bless to both you guys. STAY Strong. POedvet63...
@@superdave8248 no, she had just as much a right to approach her about these problems and how poorly she (the mom) is treating her son. And unfriending people is not passive aggressive, especially when they are treating you and your husband poorly. You seem to forget how the mother in law has insulted OP multiple times and makes it seem like she’s controlling and manipulative, and would rather her son be with an abusive partner.
@@fandomtrash7505also, I find it hard to believe that FIL and BIL only have one side of the story considering they hated the ex, yet the photo of OP’s husband, MIL, and the ex are all there on social media for everyone to see.
You can’t possibly tell me you only have one side of the story when someone is THAT public about their feelings.
It sounds like FIL and BIL know enough to understand the kind of person MIL is, but are to much of enablers to care how much it affects OP and her husband. They just want the old status quo back.
That mother has some serious issues. Her behaviour is disgusting and the brother is no better. They both need help.
YEAH your right
The only help they need is the help to delete themselves
@@geprekbento7543 tf no she has mental issues and she dealt with it the worst way possible and we can’t change thst
Brother need a military boot to the teeth
FIL is a simp and not human. He's willing to emotionally destroy the OP and the marriage. The MIL at least has kind of an excuse.
Honestly, if i was op's husband i would've Just cut contact, change home and change surname, and never ever hear about my hometown again, somebody Who does this deserves to be forgotten forever
The mother-in-law will NEVER see the damage she'd caused her son. She's a textbook narcissist, judging by the numerous instances of gaslighting in the story. What kind of apology is "I'm sorry she was upset" as opposed to "I'm sorry I offended her" anyway?
That said... OP definitely wasn't the jerk here. While the best course of action is to disengage (a narcissist is never wrong and always the victim in their own eyes) it wasn't a viable option based on her circumstances, and her reaction is completely understandable.
Considering the similarities between the ex and the mother as well as the asserted similarities the brother claims to see in OP, I think the dad is what you get when you don't get out of that sort of relationship. You end up becoming an extension of the abuser, even if you think you mean well. The mother really did a number on all the men in this family.
“Blaming herself for everything that happened.” Uh yeah bc it was all her fault. I’m also “chemically imbalanced” but I couldn’t fathom being a mother that would do this to her son and blame the disease. She, her other son, the dad and the rest of the family are all gross.
They handled this way too calmly, I would absolutely SNAP as soon as that close minded cretin of a mother got 'concerned" about the OP. WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS. I get that the mother is bipolar and has anxiety and depression, but I would be to pissed off to care.
Same, I’m honestly surprised on how calm OP and her husband was towards this bullshit and I actually envy that. My petty, hot-headed ass would’ve send a long text listing the stuff they pulled on their son and how they aren’t in the position to “call me out” on my behavior when they did worse things if I was in OP’s place. Pretty disgusting how the mother-in-law is using her mental health issues as an excuse to mistreat everyone and pull the victim card whenever she can. Mental health isn’t an excuse to act like a jerk, period
Bipolar and depression is no excuse. Mental Health disorders are not a licensed to be horrible to other people.
@@SuperMichelleDJ bro what the fuck is this corny ass comment i left two years ago why'd you have to remind me of this
@@SuperMichelleDJ man why'd you have to drag me back to some corny ass comment i made two years ago by replying
The op is amazing for sticking up for her husband and trying to protect and keep him safe, especially the husband for staying with his wife, I hope they get a happy life together, that horrible family is trying to keep the husband with manipulating and holding him accountable if his mom ends herself
The guy should have started saying "NO" to his mom long before this happened. IMO the couple should keep it as it is and try to reconnect after a few months/years, only if the initiative comes from the family and reassuring that their boundaries are clear and well understood by the family.
Hopefully, time will teach his family that they can handle their own problems by themselves instead of weighing it down on someone else.
OP's BIL thinks his brother automatically respects his family after calling his much better wife "a carbon copy of your ex" who left him broken, battered and bruised, when the family did nothing to help? I would have responded "'This family' lost the right to my respect."
I have little doubt that the bil is not being an instigator for selfish reasons. The mil would call twice weekly to complain about him. If the complaints were legit.....than maybe he needs to get his life straightened out. If the complaints were not legit, then he should have been empathetic to OP.
Imo, hes probably just happy that he isnt the focus of mil
that mother-in-law has EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
You just have to go complete NO CONTACT. Permanently.
Their behavior, (mother, father and siblings and any of their friends or family that take it upon themselves to interfere) is toxic. Husband’s job in the military demands complete concentration and they are detrimental to his health and well-being.
Mother-in-law is too toxic she love drama
Objective:
Less drama related stress
Process:
1. Delete all social media accounts.
If the person is toxic is like venom, you dont have to drink and tolerate that. In this story the husband probably was the psychological sponge for her mother now he is gone. The mother goes to other members of the family. So now they see the problem they want YOU(the huaband in this case ) to go back and be the sponge again. My father has to deal something similar with my grandma of my mother side. To the family he was a shit person, my mother family threat us like the lower ones. Bc my aunt has more money and my uncle poor guy he doesnt get a good job. But my dad took it like i champ even i was the last grandchild my other cousins get the love of my grandparents. When my grandmother began tobe weak it was my father and mother who have to take her to the medic and take care of her for days in my house. The last time my grandmother said goodbye after we took care of her for 2 weeks and said goodbye Andrew my rich cousin name. That snapped my father and said no more. She has 2 other sons. We are done. And the toxic begin. That they dont have the time that taking care of here was dificult bc of the childrens bla bla. My father said we have a children also now is your turn and he deploy all the shit that the family did to us. So never again. And thats when they realize all that my parents did for her. But it was too late. My parents broke contact with the family they are garbage.and it was for the better. My parents were happier and i also. So yes toxic people you need to get out of your life
Your father was a champ
I hope your dad is happier than he’s ever been for the rest of his life. That you and your mom are happier too. May every day be happier than the next.
Love how the OP’s family-law keeps spouting about the Mother-in-laws mental health while disregarding the husband’s. Just goes to show they never cared about him and only themselves. Glad he decided to drop them
"She's taking the blocking really hard and blaming herself for everything."
Uhh yeah? That's what she should be doing lol
It WAS her fault and she should feel bad about it.
Part 1 of the story (puppy portion): Yet ANOTHER reason why I don't trust Petco. Sure, I worked at a rival pet store for about 6-7 years, but still, that doesn't change the fact that I already knew more about taking care of most animals than all of the Petco employees that I have encountered, or heard about, before I even started working at the rival pet store. Heck, I was the only employee there that had taken care of animals from the wild, so a LOT of employees recommended customers to me when they said something along the lines of "my kid found this..." or "we found this...". I WISH I had some good Petco encounters, but I've dealt with three different Petco stores, in 2 different states, and I have yet to encounter ONE good/competent Petco employee/store.
No wonder the mother in law preferred the abusive ex wife considering they were practically the same person. She would rather have her son be abused and miserable than have a happy and healthy relationship. Gross.
i just love that a game is playing in the backround of each story
Block them, I have a mother like this, the things she said about my wife, would curl your toe nails, they never stop, you just have to cut them out, they will never change, I know, I have one and haven't talked to her in over 20 years, she is to toxic.
I've been through plenty of mental issues. She is a grown women. Him being comfortable with him self trying to live with out being bullied. And I wouldn't reward bad behavior like trying to unalive her self. Her mental health shouldn't be a excuse to cause other people's mental health to crash. Respect is important. Over all separation is key till they learn or till you forget them. Send post card ignore all else
Attempt is not the same as actually committing. The mother-in-law is just looking for attention and has no intention of doing that, so it is just bad behaviour, not an actual cry for help.
not a jerk mother in law was out of line so was the brother and father
I've been through a very similar situation as the OP's husband.
Had mother act in a identical manner and dad was supportive of my decisions.
I had to block them after making my stand I was done. Had my older sister message me trying to blame me just like the brother.
I left the door open for my mom but she has to take the initiative and grow up.
OP is not the jerk. Just a concerned and loving spouse
Causally puts own sons life through hell says that she absolutely hates him then she wants contact again. I think the mother does it for the whole family if not abusing the son. That why the father BEGED for contact again so she could do it to him and so she won't take it out on him. He still sees the actions she did AND HE STILL CHOOSES TO STAY WITH HER. Don't unblock them. Furthermore change mobile contact so she can't call you and like hell she's taking the drive to just abuse him again. She will always pick the most distant family member to use as a emotional stress ball
11:16 Yes this is the right action
Being former military and having had to move alot, I blows my mind that the mother had an issue with his new station. Not like he has a say in thr matter. You get orders, you go. Simple as that
Sing it, sister. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard of parents who don't understand why their child has to be assigned to deployable ships (um, they're in the Navy, ships kinda go with that, right?), why they can't talk about certain things... it made me nuts.
When you have a parent like that you learn to stand up for yourself or you let them walk all over you. I have a mom just like that. Sometimes you just have to walk away & give it to God to deal with.
There is no excuse for abuse. This couple deserves so much better than a hypertoxic and abusive family on any side. The couple did so great in not only giving them a proper bollocking, but also in cutting off such a gangrenous limb. May his family reap what they have sewn. If I had any abuse hurled at me by my fam…they’ll be dead to me.
Dogs are not supposed to eat any type of nut especially not peanuts since that can kill them. (I have had dogs since i was 2 so i have learnt a few things about them)
Husband & wife were correct in blocking the family. You are not the jerks the family is the father-in-law mother brother are the jerks. It is your's and your wife's life don't let anything come between you two ever again.
It is hard to the ones that weren't abused to ever understand the abused ones feel, and with this type of family, even thought you are abused, slide it off and continue to take damages are what they, the ones who are abusing, considered to be your best course of action, otherwise they won't have any victim to bully anymore.
“She taking it hard and blaming herself” she should blame herself it’s completely her fault
It sounds like the mom might have bipolar disorder.
What dose that mean
he literally said that at the beginning of the video
@@davidcuri3275 its a medical condition that causes extreme forms of emotions
Or using that as an excuse to be abusive...
I am so tired of golden children who give the scapegoat a hard time for kicking narcissistic parents out of their life. It doesn't matter if they were manipulated. All it shows is that they don't have the empathy to care that their sibling is being mistreated. All they care about is the fact that they aren't.
I had the same issues with my family so I got rid of all of them.
AITA be like 99 percent of the time:
My brother killed our whole family, and I called the cops. *aM I tHe jERk*
3:06 bruh he said bless him immediately after i sneezed lol
If you have to choose between your own mental health, that of your spouse and on the other hand that of toxic family, the simple question is this: where are you happiest? Because toxic family do not change. It is a vicious circle that will always repeat itself. They are what they are. Let that light guide your decisionmaking.
After watching this story I am reminded of my own family I have a mother who suffers from drug abuse and mental illness and her entire way of thinking is if you do not benefit her or provide for her then there is no use in her life for you I am her oldest son the first born of my siblings and of the three of us there's only two left I lost my brother to suicide and that's a story for another time but my mother is very much like the woman in this story she evicted me and my wife from an apartment that she owned because she wanted live in healthcare for her serious condition my mother's serious condition is is that she doesn't have enough marijuana or methamphetamine she loses her mind my mother after not seeing or hearing from me for 15 years because of the last time she pulled a stunt like this had the nerve to tell me that my wife's only use for me was my money because I'm a truck driver not because my wife is an administrative assistant making almost as much money as I did and that no woman would want to have anything to do with me as long as I chose to live my life on the road I have no use for people like this I agree with the way this couple took care of the situation I also have ostracized my mother because of her treatment of me over the last 40 years and because of her recent treatment of my wife I am a grown man I'm 40 years old and I live my life accordingly nobody and I repeat nobody is going to tell me what to do anymore not even the woman who gave me life because that's the only thing she has given me other than post-traumatic stress disorder and a headache that has lasted the better part of my life to everybody out there who has very similar issues I say stay strong and ex the people out of your life that do not benefit you praise you or help you be a better person at the end of the day it is up to you only you can make yourself better person trying to live up to the standards of your mother's and your father's dooms you to repeat the same mistakes that they made
W vids and btw i watch lots of your vids and i subbed
No! Stand your ground and have a peaceful life you don’t need that in your life I have no contact with my family and I don’t miss them no drama or nonsense in mine and my daughters life worth it believe me they abandoned me when I became a single parent and times over the years have been tough but so worth it I’m very proud of her and she has had toxic people drain her at times but she just said don’t need this in my life! And stopped helping their constant drama! They want to make you both feel guilty that’s emotional blackmail you don’t need that in your lives! 🏴♥️
7:36 to 9:24 here is what i have to say about what the op said to the mother in law... bravo and well said
The family need to know they are in the wrong and this guy is lucky to have her she doing everything she can do to help him
Mental health can’t force you to be chronically abusive. Having mood swings is understandable and can lead to some conflicts, but you will come to your senses later and regret it.
What would help a lot would be to respectfully say I'm sorry I'm in a bad mood today can we talk about this later? But no, most people just get horrible and then say oh I was in a foul mood but won't even try to excuse themselves by saying something half decent that would be forgivable.
I'm tired of people using " i have a disease" as if its an okay reason to kick people around.
the mother in law and the brother need a special theraphy
Ha I went no contact with mine, hell no. If they want to unlive themselves bc they can’t stand the consequences of their actions that’s their choice 🤷🏽♀️. I wasn’t put on this earth to be a person’s punching bag, doormat, trash can, fireplace, etc etc. Narcissist are evil and I want no parts.
“Blaming herself for everything that happened”
😐😑😐
It is your fault for everything that happened and you should feel disgusted by the sight of your own face
The amount of pain you have put this man through I’m still surprised that he hasn’t already kicked the bucket
You should take responsibility of your actions apologize and make sure you help him through all the suffering you have put him through
You should feel sorry you should be crying about it cause sooner or later she’s gonna cut you off forever and you already know it’s gonna be your fault
I’m writing this for this long to tell you how much you should feel bad and how sorry you have to be to him to make up for all the pain you have put him through
And for the OP she is not a jerk
Telling the mother-in-law that is making her own son go into depression to F off
Or anything similar to that word
Is not being a jerk you’re just trying to help out somebody who’s being pushed into depression from some old woman
The OP’s mother-in-law should feel ashamed for dragging the family into her side when she knows she’s the one who’s in the wrong
In conclusion the OP is not a joke for the reason of trying to help her husband when the mother-in-law is putting him through depression on purpose and not trying to help when she knows her son is suffering the mother-in-law is a bad person who you should not be anywhere near and I don’t even know if she can change at this point
And I hope the best of luck to the good couple and I hope your mother-in-law finally sees her wrongdoings and stops
(sorry that was so long I just need to get everything out of me after seeing this)
Wouldn't the answer to be to delete Facebook, and give them a 6 week block on phones, and then see what happens after?
It sounds like the son is the only sane person in the family, and he finally found a sane woman to marry! I have sisters that are like the mother in law, and you cannot do much to reason with them.
Mental health does not excuse poor choices. If you have mental health issues that's all the more reason to come forward first and humble yourself, stating you know you have a problem and you want to change but need their help. If she had any common sense, she would have done this. But she doesn't want to fix her problems. She wants to justify her actions. That's not the sign of someone who wants to become better.
The family is trash for not seeing this, and caving to her toxic demands.
Sincerely,
~ Someone who struggles with mental issues (bipolar-depression) and doesn't use it to excuse their poor choices.
As someone who deals with mental illness, it is no excuse act in such a way. I am guilty of this in the past, but I have learned from my mistakes. From the sounds of the story, the mother in law is supposedly getting help, but is it the right help she needs??
I see a lot of people saying mental health is no excuse.
Which is very very true.
Although; the thing that made me understand to the mother was “starting a new treatment”. Boy howdy is that like the most DIFFICULT time in a process of getting better in mental health.
Though knowing those two sides of you: taking responsibility of your actions and emotions is key. That is a skill that her and her family hasn’t learned yet.
She is going to fail allot in her journey and probably will not learn that lesson unless her husband and son can help teach her that way but i totally get where the mother is at. Ive been there; not fun, confusing time, testing drug after drug, feeling like your being pulled apart and unable yo control anything.
The jury finds the op not a jerk
Agreed. The Mom and Brother can kiss the OP and Husband's ass.
I wish I could be open about both my own sweet mother (may she rest in peace) and my toxic mother-in-law (may she also RIP). I'm in my late 60s, and have memories of both of them being kind, sweet, understanding, etc. My mother remained that way, even though she had a chemical imbalance in her brain that came out in some horrible ways. Nothing, however, she ever did was mean-spirited. She was a nice and happy person, and loved her family. The issues were when she perceived (almost always falsely) that someone had, or might, hurt her family. She was fierce in her protection of those she loved. My MiL, on the other hand, mellowed a lot as she aged, but she was the only person who had ever slapped my adult, married with children, face. And it was because I wouldn't move the empty grocery sacks from where my sweetheart (her daughter) and I decided to keep them, to the place she thought they belonged (under the kitchen sink). Yes, she slapped me. It wasn't hard. It was meant to humiliate me. It didn't. I found it humorous, but only later. When it happened, I was pretty angry. I was recovering from knee surgery and couldn't just hop to her demands like some random child. I was only in my late 30s, but still....
The problem with crazies like the OP's MiL is they picture, and act as though, their baby boy is still their baby boy. They won't allow them to grow up, and they panic, and start to manipulate things to get them back the way they were. If you understand this, you can deal with it better. Sometimes.
One thing crazy people don't understand: If you treat your child's spouse badly, don't count on getting to know your grandchildren. If you treat both your child and their spouse badly, you are guaranteed never to see your grandchildren. Do you want to see your grandchildren? Act accordingly, Karen! (This hurts because my cousin is named Karen, and she's a very nice, patient person, and never a "Karen")
Biggest red flag that anyone is unhinged is treating animals like a human. Especially huskys they are one of the closest related breeds to wolf's a pack animal that must be guided by the most dominant member.
Your mental health is important too.
Not the jerk!
i listen to this stuff while a grind in games
Why is it people don’t check with both parties before jumping to conclusions? Especially with family matters.
I stopped talking to my family 20 yrs ago for the same reasons except my mom was not mentally unstable but was still abusive and they havent even tried to talk to my daughter in the same amount of time. So I would just stay with what you are doing
The way the brother and the father talked tells me that they didn't know the hole story. It wouldn't surprise me it that's actually the case. But there's other variant that she perceived the things she did differently or because of their illness like my grandmother who sometimes didn't understand what was happening around her and will made-up all the stuff you can think of, like she went to a shop to buy something and come back with the groceries but with a story saying she saw my grandfather with a woman even though grandfather was with me and my cousin the hole time she was out. Or is because people will always believe that they did the right thing in any moment even if they didn't. So they say there part of the story that can be similar to what happened or pretty far of off it.
There's other possibility that she just doesn't want her kids to be or married or away from her for too long, so she will make them go back to her in any way possible. She probably perching that OP is the reason she doesn't has her boy back home so she tries to separate them.
When the MIL changed the icon to Ex, I thought to myself: "Ah. Two controlling Bs in a pod."
That text was a mistake
It's OK to feel that, but you've forced him to choose them or you.
You should have let him send the text.
Nightmare in laws is unfortunately part of the deal. In this circumstance you just have to suck it up and count down the days.
My brother did this to his girlfriend. Do not get involved! Do not unblock!
Lol you can drive just fine the day after a bunch of ketamine 🤣🤣 they make it sound so much more extreme than it really is
Last story. Cut ties with his entire family. I did with mine. Life is better now.
Maybe try again in 1-2 years. Maybe not.
I have to say it's not easy dealing with an overbearing parent. But it's definitely a classic red flag of an abuser when they make you feel like it's them or your family. Not saying either side is right, just that both are making the same mistakes
Poor dog ;-; i hate this mother in law for how she gave the dog so much water and food and free rain of the house as im a dog owner my self
tbh i feel like the whole dog-care thing was let off way too easily. as soon as I heard "free feeder" I knew it was going to end VERY poorly, and whaddya know it did. at least the actual owners seem to know how to raise a dog. still, i vote to get revenge for the husky puppy!!!
When you don't know what to say just go with hi pals
I cursed my mother in law out. Worst person i ever meet. She would berate her over years. My wife would only cry. Sorry to say i was glade she passed.
Yes... the serviceman's _wife_ told his CO where to move them to... That's a healthy, logical mind, there.
Nut job!!!!! Well said girl! ♥️🏴
Absolutely you should have blocked them they're blaming you for the drama they cause and putting the blame on you the way you treated her when it was your mother who was treating you like dirt worse than dirt she probably told the story to make her the victim and that's why your brother is it's unloading on you that's what Karen's do
I wonder if the husband's brother knows what their mother did to their dog
Got him sick, tried to guilt trip them telling them that they have been abusing their dog, pretty much tried to kill the dog and get them arrested 😤😠😤😠😤😠😤
When you go to the family reunions just ignore the other half the family or just ignore you don't want to talk to you cuz I've been through that
So, the dog was basically being tortured and the FIL did nothing? Nice guy. Willing to let a puppy be abused for his wife. She keeps his balls in her purse. Anything she says is "Yes dear". He believes "Happy wife, happy life" even if sentient beings get hurt in the process.
sux when u gotta pick wife or family. but cut toxic people out ur life. regardless of family.
Ok I'm a pretty chill guy and have seen lots of these and the people on the husbands side of the family disgust me so much it fiscally made me uncomfortable
If this is an accurate depiction what happened, the mom need proper help, the brother needs to keep his oar out of it, and the best case scenario for the dad is that he genuinely feels in the middle and just wants everyone to be on speaking terms.
Mother-in-law is already in therapy. It's not magic, what else are doctors meant to do for her when she won't help herself?
A restraining order to the point that she can never see you
That is one of the best husbands in the world
You did the right thing
I think father-in-law just wants the drama to end. He's trying to push everyone together when rn that won't work. I also don't fil doesn't know the whole story and only has info from his wife
Mother in law did I stutter
I'm sorry all about this, this is highly stressful for you. Your not a jerk, you are just protecting your father.
Lol wuuuuut
So she liked that he was an abusive ex that kept him weak and in control and hates op for standing up for herself and making him strong enough to push back this just looks like her wanting to dominate her son's life and doesnt like it when someone makes him strong enough so she cant she attempted to make a rift fails and then plays the mental health card to try snd emotionally guilt him its good of them to cut them pff as if they have a kid i can say in confidence they would try and brainwash that kid into hating them
Op is not the jerk. She was more than fair. In fact, I think her husband should cut ties and take preventive measures just in case someone shows up on their doorstep uninvited.
The mil may have excuses for her behavior, but what excuse does the brother have? Imo, he's the main problem because of instead of trying to take a fair and neutral stance....he seems to be dogpiling. This will make the MIL feel justified in her behavior. The brother may be doing it for selfish reasons as well. If the mother calls weekly to complain about the brother.....the brother may just feel good that he isnt the focus of her behavior and may even influence the MIL to be more mad than normal against OP and her husband.
Sometimes the fuel to the fire is the third party. They will poke you on the side and say, "Yea, I did that thing.....but look at (insert name). Hes such a jerk."
Also, the brother's behavior and boldness to call OP a b-word....Im guessing he is single.
we never had problems with our puppies over eating, the few rescues we had that had issues with it, got over it once they got use to the fact that food was always available and they didnt need to eat as much as they could because they wouldnt know when they would be fed again, the worst one my granny spent a week spackin her on the hed with a rolled poster, after more then a set amount of bites, she also was the one who adopted the dog off us because... well... she was a good dog and... granny became attached... her husband... well he grumbled constantly... but... you never saw him go for a ride without calling the dog... and he was always walking around with dog treats in his pockets...
sort of like how my father is a funny guy when it comes to cats.... he "hates" them...yet when hes asleep in his chair, if a cat crawls in his lap... he pets the kitty... as he snores...
I hope her husband used his military training to beat the ever living crap out of his brother, that woulda been a fight on sight and specifically breaking his texting fingers since he wanted to hide behind a screen instead of being the "so called man" he was telling ops husband to be.
“Abusing” him. Wow. 1. It’s called neglect. 2. There doing nothing wrong.
Mom is YTA. But in retrospect, things OP could've done better, instead of writing big paragraphs, write smaller points
Dang his brother sound like a mama's boy
Holy hell! I don't think the MIL's treatments are working.
When I was 13, after years of severe bullying and familial abuse, my crush asked me out. I agreed, but I was skeptical, cuz the court issues that my sister caused were just about wrapped up, and I was about to get back with my mom, away from my abusive grandparents and sister. He then turned around and him and his friends immediately started laughing at me. If it weren't for the fact that we were at the public pool, he no doubt would have found pleasure in my tears
if you remember The Sopranos this the kind of person the same as Lydia.This kind of person exist, because my grandma (from my dad) are one of it.she's at first impression was kind and generous person, but no that was just her mask.she eventually later try to demeaning, manipulate the people close and taking care of her.
Yknow like "sup Darren say hi to Karen for me"