Poundland Special: Bitter Army Toilet Waffle | Ashens

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  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025
  • Discount Displate link! displate.com/a...
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    (This video includes paid promotion for Displate - big thanks to them)
    The stars have aligned and granted us another Poundland special! This time we've got rude lemons who refuse to answer questions, an entire army of little red men, rude mugs, not-actually-Lego, hilarious (?) toilet paper, and a garden ornament that's clearly just a mushroom and doesn't look like anything else at all. Not even a little bit!
    #Poundland #Special #Ashens

Комментарии • 1,7 тыс.

  • @ShakeItLittleTina
    @ShakeItLittleTina 4 года назад +3674

    The Ashens are returning to the Poundlands, nature is healing

    • @samholdsworth3957
      @samholdsworth3957 4 года назад +75

      Time to go hunting for Ashens...my freezers looking slim

    • @eag_illustration
      @eag_illustration 4 года назад +78

      It’s been a long time since I heard ashen said “cheapo”

    • @EntwinedSouls
      @EntwinedSouls 4 года назад +23

      I approve of your picture and your message

    • @Jesse__H
      @Jesse__H 4 года назад +11

      God dammit I got a good laugh from that. Thank you 😅

    • @min_nari
      @min_nari 4 года назад +25

      in the wilderness field of poundlands, we can see ashens thriving in their natual habitat

  • @kawoshiman
    @kawoshiman 4 года назад +1113

    Ashens seems to have forgotten that he once bought 100 toy soldiers for a pound... That's inflation at work!

    • @TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld
      @TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld 4 года назад +102

      The soldiers seem to have exactly the same designs as before, too.

    • @BoogyMushrooms
      @BoogyMushrooms 4 года назад +39

      Ahaha, I remember that! Didn't he give up counting them halfway through? He had follow through this time!

    • @toastcrunch9387
      @toastcrunch9387 4 года назад +38

      Half the price was for the bucket they came in. Also the rock/flag w/ sticker is a premium.

    • @az27106
      @az27106 4 года назад +48

      No no no you guys’ve gotten it wrong it literally says CYBER COMBAT ALIEN DEFENCE FORCE SOLDIERS completely different thing from normal run off the mill soldiers

    • @kagaminate2923
      @kagaminate2923 4 года назад +9

      He got the bucket free too

  • @lightchipster
    @lightchipster 4 года назад +2204

    Ashens: Is able to identify incredibly obscure games and 80s media
    Also Ashens: What is this random flag??

    • @joannegray5138
      @joannegray5138 4 года назад +236

      Looks like the Russian flag?

    • @illus1ve
      @illus1ve 4 года назад +260

      It is indeed the russian flag.. So it's the Russian Cyber Army. Probably the guys who hacked Hillarys email :P

    • @ThePrimaFacie
      @ThePrimaFacie 4 года назад +42

      To be fair its not the USSR flag. Even tho its been around since 1696 but has been THE RUS flag since 93. thanks, wiki

    • @LastofAvari
      @LastofAvari 4 года назад +33

      @@illus1ve Those Alien soldiers are rushin' to conquer some new land.

    • @frankystein9370
      @frankystein9370 4 года назад +83

      @@joannegray5138 Of course it is Russia - soldiers are RED.

  • @JetNix
    @JetNix 4 года назад +319

    Toilet paper with jokes written on it - shits and giggles.

    • @InfernosReaper
      @InfernosReaper 4 года назад +26

      That's the first ever good use for that phrase. Congrats

  • @quartzofcourse
    @quartzofcourse 4 года назад +613

    It’s actually Bill Shitter, he’s very worried about his privacy and tried to censor his name

    • @doomslayer3593
      @doomslayer3593 4 года назад +7

      Underrated comment

    • @nubnubthegreat8215
      @nubnubthegreat8215 4 года назад +16

      most people connfuse it for ball shitter

    • @DewMan001
      @DewMan001 4 года назад +25

      @@nubnubthegreat8215 Mr. Ball Shitter has been getting Bill's mail for ages now and is getting really really frustrated about it

    • @VonRagnar
      @VonRagnar 4 года назад +3

      Bill Shitter, Shitterton Dorset

    • @yb101z
      @yb101z 4 года назад

      boll shitter is their long lost twin

  • @M0nchis
    @M0nchis 4 года назад +105

    every time i hear that "do you see?", i just got horrible flashbacks of him screaming "do you see?".

    • @godslaughter
      @godslaughter 4 года назад +7

      I on the other hand just start screaming the same.

    • @therunawaykid6523
      @therunawaykid6523 4 года назад

      _________ ____________.
      \. /. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦_ 👩‍👦. 👩‍👦. 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦
      | ) | |. \. /. |. 👩‍👦. 👨‍👨‍👧‍👧 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦
      | ). | |. \. / 👩‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦.. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦
      | ). |. |. \. /. |. 👩‍👦. 👩‍👦. 👩‍👦. 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦
      | /. |. |. \. /. |. |. 👩‍👦. 👩‍👦. 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👧‍👧. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦
      |________/. |___________ |. |_____/. |____________|. 👩‍👦👩‍👦👩‍👦👩‍👦👩‍👦. 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦. 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦

  • @RobotSocialist
    @RobotSocialist 4 года назад +207

    Oh man, my friend Bill Shitter is going to love his new desk plaque!

  • @LexiEyesUnicorn
    @LexiEyesUnicorn 4 года назад +95

    I'm glad a patron used the name: Antonio Stella Bottom Tile.

    • @nanophosis6256
      @nanophosis6256 4 года назад +12

      An Ashens classic.

    • @therunawaykid6523
      @therunawaykid6523 4 года назад +7

      LexiEyesUnicorn and Craig mona

    • @rockerseven
      @rockerseven 4 года назад +6

      My personal favorite Ashens name is Lance Corporal Fozzington.

    • @JeanMarceaux
      @JeanMarceaux 3 года назад +2

      @@nanophosis6256 an excellent reference

    • @5udimax
      @5udimax 3 года назад +1

      But someone needs to use "Ji Plug Pu Melon Nai" too

  • @butre.
    @butre. 4 года назад +217

    I deeply appreciate the contrast between a distinctly valley girl phrase like "as if" and a distinctly british phrase like "you knob"

  • @RHM087
    @RHM087 4 года назад +61

    Interesting seeing Ashens' reflection in the Chrome Garden Mushroom (or CGM). Like a subtly unsettling version of "Hand With Reflecting Sphere."

  • @kylefox666
    @kylefox666 4 года назад +545

    I love how Ashens kept the same his whole RUclips career.
    No dramatic sound effects, not shouting on camera, no long annoying video transitions. Just straight forward entertainment.

    • @thebondofunity
      @thebondofunity 4 года назад +50

      If it ain't broke, don't fix it

    • @__BT-7274__
      @__BT-7274__ 4 года назад +42

      Don't forget the couch

    • @FIXTREME
      @FIXTREME 4 года назад +28

      He didn't even need HD, HD needed him

    • @bindingofisaacchannel3054
      @bindingofisaacchannel3054 4 года назад +16

      He did an ad but it’s an ad for something nice, I’d expect no less

    • @MarshallRawR
      @MarshallRawR 4 года назад +9

      No sound effects? What's that soundboard for then?! lol

  • @SvenSvenApfel
    @SvenSvenApfel 4 года назад +34

    I love that he reviewed another bucket (or was it a tube) of soldiers years ago and made the exact same jokes.

  • @themacity
    @themacity 4 года назад +630

    The plaque actually says Balls hitter, it's meant for baseball players

    • @butre.
      @butre. 4 года назад +57

      its Bill S. Hitter idiot

    • @joannegray5138
      @joannegray5138 4 года назад +46

      You're both wrong - it's Bells Hitter, so it's clearly aimed at campanologists.

    • @goeland4585
      @goeland4585 4 года назад +31

      Or "Balls, Hitler!"

    • @themacity
      @themacity 4 года назад +12

      @@goeland4585 fun fact: most people attribute the effective communication methods during the world war to morse code, but actually these signs were the most effective warning system back in the day

    • @MacaqueStinx
      @MacaqueStinx 4 года назад +1

      Lol balls hitter, hitting testicles.

  • @WhimsicottFanatic
    @WhimsicottFanatic 4 года назад +363

    A little fun fact about Magic 8-Balls: They usually have a 20-sided die in them, with 10 sides giving a positive answer, 5 giving a neutral answer, and 5 giving a negative
    Why am I bringing this up? Because from what I've been able to see [which granted isn't much given the alcohol that is darker than my self-esteem], the Sour Sphere™️ seems to contain an 8-sided die instead of a 20
    Why's that matter? It doesn't. At all.
    But, assuming I'm right, it's kinda funny that the manufacturer couldn't've been bothered getting a d20 mold, and yet at the same time with it being an essential dollar store product, it's unsurprising
    But there's also the question on whether or not the 8th side contains a phrase not listed on the box or just a repeat of one of the other 7
    If anyone's mad enough to crack open this Cranky Citrus™️ and prove me wrong on it being a d8 in there, I'd love that
    But at the same time I wouldn't recommend it because I feel like if you got any of that dark blue alcohol on you it's not going to wash out easily

    • @Thomas-zr7yu
      @Thomas-zr7yu 4 года назад +71

      Why are both the names you gave it better than the actual name

    • @mamesmck5236
      @mamesmck5236 4 года назад +25

      But now I really *want* some one to crack it open and find out!!!

    • @miekekuppen9275
      @miekekuppen9275 4 года назад +39

      That´s probably also the reason it´s hard to "roll" properly. Too angular.

    • @R4780Y
      @R4780Y 3 года назад +43

      They're triangular die with a hole on one of the faces so it moves in the liquid. I cracked one open at the seam and the whole ball isn't full of liquid, it's a cylindrical plastic tube thats only as thin as the plastic window you look through to see the dice. Very very weird to look inside when your entire life you've thought the entire thing was full of liquid

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM 3 года назад +12

      @@R4780Y Don't ruin the magic for the rest of us

  • @aaronmyers6686
    @aaronmyers6686 4 года назад +439

    "Bitter army toilet waffle" sounds like a password to activate a sleeper agent.

    • @yerocnevets0m3ga
      @yerocnevets0m3ga 4 года назад +16

      He activated the winter soldier

    • @EdgyShooter
      @EdgyShooter 4 года назад +13

      Imagine trying to slip that into a casual conversation 😅

    • @Kylorin235
      @Kylorin235 4 года назад +33

      The deactivation code is “ Battle Kron Three Throusand”

    • @MrSquark
      @MrSquark 4 года назад +12

      Sounds like a password similar to 'correct horse battery staple' from xkcd

    • @Mkspokes
      @Mkspokes 4 года назад +1

      Aaron Myers it’s the password for my online banking 😂

  • @mgodfrey5192
    @mgodfrey5192 4 года назад +33

    Actually LOL'd when you showed the chrome mushroom. I was in a Poundland just 2 days ago, saw it and genuinely thought of sending it to you.

    • @krinos1
      @krinos1 4 года назад +1

      What broke ass council house estate benefits liver goes to poundland in the first place to get anything other than a cheap gift for someone u don’t rlly care about do ppl look at this stuff and say u know what i want that silver dil- i mean mushroom

  • @bigjimslim
    @bigjimslim 4 года назад +148

    I’ve seen this brown couch so many times, I’ve oddly developed a sense of nostalgia from it.

    • @QueenVoodo0
      @QueenVoodo0 4 года назад +5

      jimboslice I’ve been watching him since I was a child

    • @theghostofthomasjenkins9643
      @theghostofthomasjenkins9643 4 года назад +5

      i know this couch better than i know my grandparents and they are still alive.

    • @sts-31
      @sts-31 4 года назад +2

      I don't know which has seen the dirtiest stuff throughout the yeard. The ashen couch or the casting couch

    • @superscatboy
      @superscatboy 4 года назад +6

      I have developed a sexual attraction to it.

    • @QueenVoodo0
      @QueenVoodo0 4 года назад +2

      superscatboy Excuse me what

  • @Mr._Sandman
    @Mr._Sandman 4 года назад +111

    Did you know that if you drink the blue liquid inside of a magic 8-ball, you can see the future? It's true!
    My buddy Keith did it, and he said he was going to die, and he did!

  • @mallardtheduck1
    @mallardtheduck1 4 года назад +829

    Russian flag, crimson plastic...? Somebody misunderstood what "Red Army" means.

    • @eins2001
      @eins2001 4 года назад +5

      Nod? Is that you??

    • @JohnsonTheSecond
      @JohnsonTheSecond 4 года назад +12

      £1 Katyusha

    • @SOHCAHTOKAH
      @SOHCAHTOKAH 4 года назад +10

      Russian bots Russian flag? Cyber troops hmmmm?

    • @jakublulek3261
      @jakublulek3261 4 года назад +16

      Accurate representation of how West understands communism and Russia in general.

    • @helgenlane
      @helgenlane 4 года назад +8

      "Is it actually a flag of a country? I don't know" Well, that happens, I guess...

  • @ArchangelExile
    @ArchangelExile 4 года назад +14

    That in-video advertisement fit in perfectly with the rest of Stuart's video content, lol. It didn't even really feel like an ad and I didn't end up skipping ahead like I usually would.

  • @grumpychar
    @grumpychar 4 года назад +42

    When Ashens doesn't realize he's reviewed those same exact army men before they were just green. Almost had EXACTLY the same reaction to the loping machine gun man as well. It's the poundland special with the deathknights :)

    • @isabellamorris7902
      @isabellamorris7902 4 года назад +1

      I think he does half acknowledge it - he mentions that they're "generic soldiers". The ones in that set were a fair bit crappier than even these

  • @sos_legio_primus
    @sos_legio_primus 4 года назад +11

    I love it how Stuart almost loses it and has to disguise a laugh over the "constipation" joke

  • @raf42
    @raf42 4 года назад +325

    The "brix" have a naught-to-three-sad-onions on the outside, but the instructions say for 6+. So if you're 4-5 years old, you can open it up, but not assemble it?

  • @SirJusticeNugget
    @SirJusticeNugget 4 года назад +111

    Girl Mystery Box: Yay Ice Cream C:
    Boy Mystery Box: D E A T H

    • @areyousureyouenteredyourna85
      @areyousureyouenteredyourna85 4 года назад +11

      Combine the two. Ice cream truck of death.

    • @maighstir3003
      @maighstir3003 4 года назад +7

      @@areyousureyouenteredyourna85 On the other hand, eating a ballistic missile under a parasol doesn't really sound like a fun time. I wonder how they taste.

    • @areyousureyouenteredyourna85
      @areyousureyouenteredyourna85 4 года назад +1

      When bomb pops go nuclear. Lol

    • @EmeraldLavigne
      @EmeraldLavigne 4 года назад +1

      @@maighstir3003 like death.
      Were you not paying attention, mate?

    • @emmaplaysgreen2849
      @emmaplaysgreen2849 11 месяцев назад +1

      I'm a mum of three AFAB kids, one born in 1994, the next in 2005, and the youngest in 2009.
      When my oldest was a kid, in the 90s, it felt like so much progress had been made since my own childhood, as a girl who, yes, liked some 'traditionally girly' things, but was far more of a tomboy, in the '70s.
      I grew to detest and reject pink simply due to how much it was forced on us back then, for example.
      When my oldest was under 10, I banned Barbies as gifts, in an attempt to prevent them becoming the overwhelming majority source of gifts/toys/products. It worked! She had a few secondhand ones that she used to play with in the bath :-) but not everything Barbie, as happens to so many little girls.
      She had a complete mix of toys. Dolls, L'ego, Playmobil - so much of the Playmobil fantasy world sets, including the large castle, from the big dept. store in Manchester, because she was my Mum and Dad's first grandkid and they were spoiling her!
      Lots of crafting stuff and paints, boardgames.
      The Early Learning Centre was my favourite toy shop back then, there were no seperate 'boys' and 'girls' toy aisles like at Toys R' Us, or over here in France, like there used to be at Jouet Club until only a few years ago - their shops were literally divided in two by gender!
      It was the same with kids clothes too. Not perfect, but there were plenty of options in the 90s for kids clothes that didn't push rigid, patriarchal, toxic gender roles that are harmful for all genders, for cis kids and for the nascent queer and trans kids who are still figuring out who they are.
      But by the time my middle daughter was born in 2005, it felt that everything had regressed back to where we were in, maybe the 80s, if not earlier?
      We were back to the strict gender roles again.
      Looking around big chain shops like Mothercare, the messaging was back to the words of the old-fashioned rhyme:
      Boys: slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails
      Girls: sugar and spice and all things nice
      This translated to modern boys products having images of spaceships, tractors, cars, lorries, bikes, knights, dragons, dinosaurs etc and words like "Trouble", colours were blue, brown, grey, dark and sombre, even the reds tended to be dark - burgundy, rather than a brighter scarlet.
      Summer clothes would be paler, of course, but still the same colours.
      Girls had fairies, princesses and unicorns, glitter and sequins, and the words were "Princess" or similar.
      Just as in this video, once out of the baby stage, it was the same withe toys.
      But even that's not true!
      This toxic gendering of toys and everything in children's lives is so pernicious it even starts at birth with baby equipment and baby toys for newborns who have no capacity to understand the societal significance of different colours but also their eyes can't even see pale pastel colours like baby pink and baby blue (or bloody sad beige, for that matter, but that's a whole other rant!)
      My middle daughter turne out to be completely gender non-conforming from the age of 3/4. A total tomboy, as we used to say. (Now 18, she's definitely cis, we had an open conversation about how people can be trans from an early age.)
      She loved Spiderman, Pokeman, watching DragonBall Z, and playing Minecraft.
      Now, it's One Piece, JoJo, AoT, reading manga, watching anime on Crunchyroll, playing Fallout and painting GW minis and World of Tanks, well, tanks.
      My youngest is my trans son, who only came out as trans in the last year. He followed the steps of my middle daughter and was very much more interested in L'ego, Minecraft and Roblox, as well as being very creative.
      We moved to France in late 2005 and I did find that although the toy shops here were more strictly gendered when it came to separating the aisles, the clothes were far less heavily gendered and had much more interesting choices. Even, obviously pretty girls clothes still came in a far wider range of colours, including grey, brown and even black, and without such obviously toxic messaging.
      Anyway, sorry for such a long comment on an old video!
      And Ashens, I have no idea if you read these but if you do, as someone close in age, probably a few years older at 52, a 'girl gamer' who had a ZX81 in 81, and has played vidéo games ever since (and before even on an early knock off console my parentsacquired from somewhere), I would love it if you'd make pointless gendering the theme of a video one day.
      You do bring it up now and then but it would be fantastic to have your expert knowledge and thoughts on how we've progressed and regressed in toys and entertainment media over the last several decades! 💚

  • @Caledon91
    @Caledon91 4 года назад +351

    We need a Sad Onion 8-ball toy. All the answers are yes/no but very melancholy.

    • @DumbArse
      @DumbArse 4 года назад +26

      With such amazing phrases like:
      "Yeaaaaah"
      "sure"
      "whatever"
      "for all I care"
      "go to hell you bloody troglodite"
      "no way"
      "By all means"

    • @superscatboy
      @superscatboy 4 года назад +12

      Every side should be a miserable non-committal sigh.

    • @slaughterround643
      @slaughterround643 4 года назад +16

      I want a Sad Onion stress ball

    • @tygonmaster
      @tygonmaster 4 года назад +3

      Epstein-approved sad onion sex doll when. :^)

    • @FIXTREME
      @FIXTREME 4 года назад +2

      Blablabla?
      "Yes 😟"
      Blablabla?
      "No 😞"

  • @munchbob1
    @munchbob1 4 года назад +59

    2:51 Thank you for making me realise “Noseybonk” backwards is “Knob ye son”

  • @ColonelPenguin
    @ColonelPenguin 4 года назад +288

    It's been a while, the prophecy spoke of Poundland Special's return

    • @wisteela
      @wisteela 4 года назад +2

      Yes, the grassmasks told me

    • @themanofram
      @themanofram 4 года назад +1

      "An excellent prophecy"

    • @neilyb5012
      @neilyb5012 4 года назад +1

      Aye the prophecy the three witches spoke of it to my mate Macbeth

  • @iorek1039
    @iorek1039 4 года назад +12

    "If Only I Could" is by Jakub (not Jason) Różalski aka Mr Werewolf for anyone interested. He's a well known concept artist who worked on The Witcher 3 and did some concepts for the upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie.

  • @crescentfreshsongs
    @crescentfreshsongs 4 года назад +52

    Poorly molded Army Men are underrated in the "bad toy" arena. They're always hilarious. I'm actually impressed that the guns weren't droopy on these, I rarely even see well-made army men with non-fucked-up guns.

    • @emmaplaysgreen2849
      @emmaplaysgreen2849 11 месяцев назад +1

      Even Games Workshop models' weapons can come off the sprue suffering from droopage.
      And GW's plastic crack usually costs significantly more than ~ 2p each!

  • @trieshardgaming
    @trieshardgaming 4 года назад +2

    Twunt waffle. Hilarious.
    "DO YOU SEE, DO YOU SEE?!?!"
    I still to this day love your improv take on these reviews. Hilarious.

  • @clydethomas52
    @clydethomas52 4 года назад +88

    the army figurine with the arms outstretched look's like he's just come back in from the back garden with the poop scoop

    • @superscatboy
      @superscatboy 4 года назад +3

      I don't know why he didn't just use the toilet like a normal person.

    • @leons.kennedy2747
      @leons.kennedy2747 4 года назад

      He saw all the garden ornaments.

    • @maverickhistorian6488
      @maverickhistorian6488 2 года назад

      Big tough soldiers just dig a hole and get on with it.😁

  • @patrickmccutcheon8860
    @patrickmccutcheon8860 Год назад

    Those soldiers used to provide me endless fun as a kid. I’d pick out the ones I liked the most and have battles outside in the dirt, or in the fake plants inside my Nana’s house, or the bath. I had cowboys, space ones, army ones. I loved those things.

  • @ash36230
    @ash36230 4 года назад +367

    "Includes paid promotion"
    Oh... displate... for a moment there I thought you were the new public face of Poundland marketing. As seen on Ashens.,

    • @kevboard
      @kevboard 4 года назад +42

      let's be real... he kinda is... and for years now.

    • @threeglassjars6051
      @threeglassjars6051 4 года назад +17

      Honestly, they really should do that

    • @slaughterround643
      @slaughterround643 4 года назад +11

      I think it would ruin it, like an indie artist selling out

    • @IvanovIvanAKrutoi
      @IvanovIvanAKrutoi 4 года назад +17

      Let's just be thankful he didn't sponsor RAID: Shadow Legends, AKA the COVID-19 of RUclips sponsor ads.

    • @dhruvchawla5476
      @dhruvchawla5476 4 года назад +8

      @@IvanovIvanAKrutoi he's Ashens, he has some sense of integrity unlike others

  • @smilesiel
    @smilesiel 4 года назад +1

    Oh yes, I'm so glad that there's a new Poundland special. Watching these are for some reason as comforting as having a nice warm blanket draped over your shoulders

  • @MrRyanlennie2005
    @MrRyanlennie2005 4 года назад +49

    “Imagine you have a desk. Crazy I know!”......I don’t know why but that made me laugh a lot.

  • @retrovortex624
    @retrovortex624 4 года назад +169

    I was tempted to buy some Displates but after reading some recent reviews it seems like the artists barely get anything at all for commission (like $1-$2 unless they post an affiliate link and then they get a little more and they have to earn 50 to get paid at all), and a lot of creations use stolen artwork too. And the posters themselves have multiple reviews about falling off the wall and the mounting bit peeling off, damages on arrival and some posters coming all blurry and low-res.
    Shame. I really liked the abstract roshi one, the outrun one, and the poster of Ornstein and Smough, but I definitely wouldn't order if none of them were actually from the original artist themselves.

    • @sailoramanaxasu2455
      @sailoramanaxasu2455 4 года назад +51

      The original artist of the picture with the cows is not even named Jason Różalski. The author's name is Jakub. If you search for "Jason Różalski" it only gives you some Pinterest posts uploaded by random people. The original author's website is jrozalski. com, and as far as I'm aware the guy is not using aliases other than mr_werewolf. Im almost certain that they are simply stealing this art from Pinterest.

    • @nanophosis6256
      @nanophosis6256 4 года назад +42

      No hate on Ashens for his paycheck, but glad for the information before I buy. I always suggest getting prints straight from artists when possible!

    • @monochromemiku7983
      @monochromemiku7983 4 года назад +28

      I've seen many artists I follow on Twitter have their art straight-up stolen by Displate recently. Obviously this isn't Ashens' fault but no one should buy anything from then and I hope he never advertises them again.

  • @garou1911
    @garou1911 4 года назад +56

    As someone who was injured in the great ketchup fire of 1973, I approve of this video

  • @inserthere44
    @inserthere44 4 года назад +3

    Wooow, I just rediscovered this channel after *ages*. Used to watch him years ago, I'm glad to see he still has his iconic sofa. Never knew I'd see him again

  • @owllymannstein7113
    @owllymannstein7113 4 года назад +86

    Finally Dollar Tree has surpassed Poundland in the field of generic lego. They currently sell a set of 6 different vehicles that join together to form a voltron-esq robot.

    • @InfernosReaper
      @InfernosReaper 4 года назад +2

      The one around here has a lot of decent generic pieces for its off-brand as well. One can get a pretty nice set going on for like $5 plus tax

  • @Leeqzombie
    @Leeqzombie 4 года назад +36

    That Twunt Waffle mug is so bizarre I kinda want it. I hate how they gave the graphic a background though, making the printing area hideously obvious.

    • @Bacony_Cakes
      @Bacony_Cakes 4 года назад +4

      No, it belongs to Sir Tarquin Wuntwaffle.

  • @dylnm
    @dylnm 4 года назад +56

    This year has been shit, we needed a poundland special. thanks

  • @DarknessViper99
    @DarknessViper99 4 года назад +36

    Imagine running out of bog roll during quarantine and only having that crappy joke toilet paper.

    • @surnis9043
      @surnis9043 4 года назад +5

      Oh no! I wanted to keep this roll forever! Now that I used it, reading the jokes is a lot harder.

    • @DarknessViper99
      @DarknessViper99 4 года назад

      Surnis !!! This is a cursed comment.

  • @shaydevlin5557
    @shaydevlin5557 4 года назад +127

    I went to Poundland today in Birmingham and when i looked outside i saw two chavs fighting

    • @bongwater5612
      @bongwater5612 4 года назад +30

      Sounds like Birmingham to me.

    • @claudiobizama5603
      @claudiobizama5603 4 года назад +58

      Nature is healing

    • @owllymannstein7113
      @owllymannstein7113 4 года назад +24

      Did you win?

    • @kirstygunn4523
      @kirstygunn4523 4 года назад +23

      The chavs are out and about in my local town too ain't nature beautiful

    • @tonyjones9442
      @tonyjones9442 4 года назад +4

      That's the same in every town. Before the smoking ban I saw people smoking shopping around farm foods. Got to love Britain.

  • @rekagaal
    @rekagaal 4 года назад +15

    I swear I remember Barry making the "belt made of watches = waist of time" joke on one of the 'Don't Laugh' episodes on Barshens. You didn't laugh then either.

  • @pepeshel8445
    @pepeshel8445 4 года назад +274

    Flag of Russia: exists
    Ashens: I’ve never met this man in my life

    • @Nimmo1492
      @Nimmo1492 4 года назад

      Beat me to it

    • @Jambunctious
      @Jambunctious 4 года назад +15

      Yugoslavia? Never heard of her!
      She must be Dutch.

    • @jasonrollins1385
      @jasonrollins1385 4 года назад

      @@Jambunctious 😂😂😂

    • @RealBond101
      @RealBond101 5 месяцев назад

      He was a bit ahead of the game in terms of NATO's sanctions

  • @Defensive_Wounds
    @Defensive_Wounds 3 года назад

    Give that garden ornament to Big Clive....I am sure he will appreciate it! By the way Ashens, nice hat.

  • @tarquinwuntwaffle7481
    @tarquinwuntwaffle7481 4 года назад +350

    One of my associates has informed me that you have a beverage container for me, may I ask how I may avail of this most gracious offer kind sir?

  • @gamingcrazy7013
    @gamingcrazy7013 4 года назад

    That garden ornament is exactly the same shape as a thingy!
    Blackadder jokes aside, this was a pretty good special. Welcome back poundland! ALL HAIL THE LAND OF POUND!

  • @walonsubi
    @walonsubi 4 года назад +53

    When I saw the paid promotion bit at the start I thought for a brief, beautiful second you'd been recruited by Poundland's marketing team.

    • @aceisking
      @aceisking 3 года назад

      He owns poundland so why would he promote himself to poundland's marketing team?

  • @PunakiviAddikti
    @PunakiviAddikti 4 года назад +1

    That ashens art is looking pretty good. Gotta love the 0-3 sad onions print featuring happy onions, indifferent onions and surprised onions!

  • @TXFDA
    @TXFDA 4 года назад +54

    I want a version of Toy Story, where Andy gets THESE army men instead.

    • @FreezepondMapping
      @FreezepondMapping 4 года назад +22

      All the dialogue for them are various "BLYATs" and "OY BLINs"

    • @goodburger1114
      @goodburger1114 3 года назад +4

      Wouldn’t change the story at all

  • @BlackAce-zr2ms
    @BlackAce-zr2ms 3 года назад

    I must admit being a huge aviation enthusiast I love the F-104G Starfighter (Luftwaffe) and the E.E Canberra B.2. Huge respect to your Dad for working on those. :)

  • @foxpawx
    @foxpawx 4 года назад +42

    Thank you, Ashens. I needed this today.

  • @spikedthenukes2893
    @spikedthenukes2893 4 года назад +7

    I miss Poundland, I'm shielding until the 1st of August since I've got a kidney transplant... I love your Poundland videos.

  • @Rysarod
    @Rysarod 4 года назад +42

    This is kind of a big moment. To be here with the video so fresh

    • @fpcooper95
      @fpcooper95 4 года назад +2

      Same for me, and I’ve been watching forever lol

    • @QuarterMuncher93
      @QuarterMuncher93 4 года назад +3

      Fresh as the Bitter Lemon

  • @lovinglife17
    @lovinglife17 4 года назад

    Your channel is the only one where I'm perfectly willing to sit through the entire paid promotion part. Your genuineness and unique brand of humor keeps them interesting and entertaining :)

  • @VanillaNukaCola
    @VanillaNukaCola 4 года назад +34

    I would totally just buy that Twunt Waffle mug for myself, would give me a giggle until it broke, so at least two uses

    • @tarquinwuntwaffle7481
      @tarquinwuntwaffle7481 4 года назад +6

      What, may I ask, is so amusing about crockery bearing my name?

    • @Dreadjaws
      @Dreadjaws 4 года назад +3

      @@tarquinwuntwaffle7481 'Cause you sound like a Grand Moff?

  • @papermouse_9
    @papermouse_9 3 месяца назад

    6:39 i find ashens' vague tone of horror/befuddlement at the comically long shotgun a lot funnier than i probably should

  • @ChesuMori
    @ChesuMori 4 года назад +17

    "You often get those in buckets of soldiers"... I'll take your word on it, seeing as you're the only person who would know this.

  • @draco2023b
    @draco2023b 4 года назад +4

    12:45 “so going back to the toys”
    Some people would consider that “mushroom” a toy

  • @Consural
    @Consural 4 года назад +62

    Girls' locker room: "Let's go eat ice cream after school!"
    Boys' locker room: "Any of you dudes got the new intercontinental ballistic missiles?"

    • @kevinm5940
      @kevinm5940 4 года назад +18

      Boys' locker room: *geiger counter noises*

    • @Mkspokes
      @Mkspokes 4 года назад

      Consural the boys will once they’ve grown up 🤣 lol

    • @Consural
      @Consural 4 года назад

      @@kevinm5940 lol

  • @stringstorm
    @stringstorm 4 года назад

    I swear, that couch has been replaced. The tears and the stains I recognize are gone.

  • @claudiobizama5603
    @claudiobizama5603 4 года назад +201

    That's literally The Red Army, that explains the Russian flag

    • @CarrotConsumer
      @CarrotConsumer 4 года назад +51

      And the thinness.

    • @deetvleet
      @deetvleet 4 года назад +9

      @@CarrotConsumer Too soon

    • @JRHainsworth
      @JRHainsworth 4 года назад +5

      @@deetvleet It's been 100 years

    • @JRHainsworth
      @JRHainsworth 4 года назад +9

      Persim Berry Joke =/= Historically Accurate

  • @wilting_alocasia
    @wilting_alocasia 4 года назад +5

    When it said 'includes paid promotion' I genuinely thought Ashens had been sponsored by Poundland 😂😂

  • @JR-gl1nx
    @JR-gl1nx 4 года назад +30

    Those soldiers are like the military versions of the 'Thin Men' from Xcom.

    • @Patrick-Phelan
      @Patrick-Phelan 4 года назад

      To be fair, the Thin Men were kind of the military version of the Thin Men, given that they were an invading force. But, you know, these ones are a lot more openly militaristic.

  • @retro_reflections
    @retro_reflections 4 года назад +4

    Ashens, bringing you the joy of shiny mushrooms and the mystery of where to leave them.

  • @virmbot
    @virmbot 4 года назад +6

    That twunt waffle mug was like a punch to the gut. It made me laugh so hard I forgot how to breathe for a second.

    • @tarquinwuntwaffle7481
      @tarquinwuntwaffle7481 4 года назад +2

      I fail to see what is so amusing about it.

    • @Mkspokes
      @Mkspokes 4 года назад +2

      Rapteroni everyone knows someone who should be given that mug for Christmas lol 😂

  • @Shizushin786
    @Shizushin786 4 года назад +1

    The twunt waffle reveal was the most sublime thing I've ever seen I'm still laughing

    • @tarquinwuntwaffle7481
      @tarquinwuntwaffle7481 4 года назад

      I have never revealed myself to you and I resent the slanderous accusation you blaggard. Pistols at dawn it shall be!

  • @Silentgrace11
    @Silentgrace11 4 года назад +20

    I see you found Barry Lewis’s list of dad jokes there 😂

  • @Tsalea
    @Tsalea 4 года назад

    Now that's something I never would have guessed seeing. Those Pop Toys are from my home town🙊😂 Awesome

  • @philipcorner574
    @philipcorner574 4 года назад +43

    3:33 I once watched Die Hard 2 on TV in Toronto and they silenced the word "Motherfucker" to remove only the "Mother" part! It took me a while to notice the idiocy.

    • @ABW941
      @ABW941 4 года назад +1

      I guess a fucker is less bad than a motherfucker. And what else could they silence but the word mother? If they would have silenced the word fucker they would have ended up with mother, which isnt an insult.

    • @BungleBare
      @BungleBare 4 года назад +3

      They usually overdub it with “Melonfarmer”, so that the actor’s lips stay in synch.

    • @PointsofData
      @PointsofData 4 года назад

      @@ABW941 the point usually isn't to keep an insult but to not offend. If they cared about continuity they wouldn't fuck with the dubbing at all.

  • @woodenotaku
    @woodenotaku 4 года назад

    Loving the PS2 shovelware at 10:05.
    "Pink Pong" and "Ultimate Mind Games"? Truly the best games on the platform.

  • @queenoftheworld_
    @queenoftheworld_ 4 года назад +18

    paused an Ashens video. To watch an Ashens video. Joyous day.

  • @PandoraSystem
    @PandoraSystem 4 года назад +2

    Ashens: "What name does she look like to me?"
    Me: Deborah? Kathy? Susan?
    Ashens: "BATTLECRON THREE THROUSAND."

  • @EdPlaysGames
    @EdPlaysGames 4 года назад +40

    Ah Jesus.. those mushrooms.. I literally said to my girlfriend when we saw them the other day Ashens will definitely feature those in his next Poundland video.. I wasn’t wrong clearly *burns image from mind with parafin, bleach and a match*

  • @constantexpected
    @constantexpected 4 года назад +1

    A feed of Barry's mind! lol. oh man. I'm glad you two are friends. :D That was a good one.

  • @bazboyd44
    @bazboyd44 4 года назад +19

    This is what we needed in these trying times

  • @JustJohn85
    @JustJohn85 4 года назад +26

    "Are you our new God?"
    "I'm not listening"
    Makes sense to me.

  • @dcflake5645
    @dcflake5645 4 года назад +15

    Saw paid promotion and when 12:20 was on screen thought he was doing a bad dragon ad.

  • @NekoiNemo
    @NekoiNemo 4 года назад +11

    5:15 Oh, come on, Ashens, that's just the flag of the larges country in the bloody world...

  • @entity447b
    @entity447b 4 года назад +15

    That "Do you see!?!?!?" was even more fraught than usual

  • @CJODell12
    @CJODell12 4 года назад

    Can we just take a minute to appreciate how little the channel has changed over the last 14 years. Apart from going 1080p/50 frames per second, it's practically the same videos he's always done. Sometimes, consistency really is key to success.

  • @stephenjames1124
    @stephenjames1124 4 года назад +143

    The "2" on the "Bitter Lemon" is for £2... and the flag in the soldiers is the Russian flag!

  • @HaydenX
    @HaydenX 4 года назад +22

    Let's play a game called: "Where am I Hiding my Lawn Ornament?" ;)

    • @Mkspokes
      @Mkspokes 4 года назад

      HaydenX in his panties 😂

  • @TheosoMop
    @TheosoMop 4 года назад +7

    Those toy soldiers look like hollows from Dark Souls. Damn, now I want a modern military souls game

  • @Wehiremonkeys
    @Wehiremonkeys 4 года назад +1

    That pound land mug seems like a Christmas present from your boss who happens to be a manager at Poundland.

  • @TheTEENWULF
    @TheTEENWULF 4 года назад +8

    METALICOCK!
    that's one for the Spaced fans.

  • @YanestraAgain
    @YanestraAgain Год назад

    Too long shotguns is a traditional problem in a number of armies of the world. And the toilet roll jokes are actually funny.

  • @fluffycritter
    @fluffycritter 4 года назад +33

    If those soldiers were into "cyber-combat" shouldn't they be, like, sitting at computers or something?

    • @LonelySpaceDetective
      @LonelySpaceDetective 4 года назад +6

      Maybe they operate on Hollywood logic, and those are their VR world avatars or somethin'.

    • @clray123
      @clray123 3 года назад +4

      Don't funck with the red army, twuntwaffle.

  • @NobletheSavage
    @NobletheSavage 4 года назад

    Stuart is the only content provider I know that actually makes watching Adverts worthwhile .

  • @rizdizla
    @rizdizla 4 года назад +4

    nice to see you taking that ad money, you deserve it for the years of great content

  • @aidenshort7966
    @aidenshort7966 4 года назад

    I love the titles of these videos. I was looking forward to a slightly bitter waffle that fell in an army toilet lol.

  • @dylnm
    @dylnm 4 года назад +76

    4:50 They're Cyber Combat soliders... and the flag on the inside is Russian... google Glavset ;)

    • @Anarchidi
      @Anarchidi 4 года назад +13

      I think he was being sarcastic about the flag. You can't be an adult and don't recognize the Russian flag.

    • @froggybrolly
      @froggybrolly 4 года назад +1

      That was a fun Wikipedia rabbit hole

    • @LordDragox412
      @LordDragox412 4 года назад +7

      @@Anarchidi You can actually. Although it doesn't happen in Britain, in US it's quite common.

    • @humble2246
      @humble2246 4 года назад +1

      @@LordDragox412 no

    • @dylnm
      @dylnm 4 года назад +1

      @@froggybrolly small world hahaha

  • @jezz2k
    @jezz2k 4 года назад

    My dad was in the RAF too, back in the 60s. He was stationed at Cosford, Brize Norton and Innsworth among others. Served overseas in Aden and Hong Kong. Unfortunately no longer with us since last year.

  • @GreyHulk2156
    @GreyHulk2156 4 года назад +33

    I can confirm the "2" means it costs two of your English Pounds. I work at Poundland. :)
    Not seen these at our branch though... yet.

    • @Martin-uf4ut
      @Martin-uf4ut 4 года назад +2

      Can you pass on up the chain to get ashens and big Clive on the packaging

    • @Mrflash222006
      @Mrflash222006 4 года назад +1

      I offer my condolences

    • @Porkey_Minch
      @Porkey_Minch 4 года назад

      Did Ashens inspire you to apply for a job there?

  • @infidelcastro5129
    @infidelcastro5129 2 года назад +1

    Never have I been more drawn to a suggested video than by the title “Bitter Army Toilet Waffle”.

  • @EdgyShooter
    @EdgyShooter 4 года назад +16

    "Including paid promotion"
    I immediately hoped it was sponsored by Poundland 😅

    • @aceisking
      @aceisking 3 года назад

      He does own poundland you know

  • @drbillwotb8324
    @drbillwotb8324 4 года назад

    I can’t breathe...the toilet roll being an infeed for Barry’s mind lol 😂 ...

  • @NickShillitoMusic
    @NickShillitoMusic 4 года назад +13

    My wife has really got into gardening during the lockdown boredom, she keeps buying chrome garden ornaments.

  • @Vollification
    @Vollification 4 года назад

    Pop-a-toy is fun :D
    Seems like a great way to expand your random lego box without having to buy a whole set :D