the least men can do is pay - OnlyFans exposes the 50/50 scam + gold digging is feminist?
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- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2023
- 👚Merch - shopisla.co
✨All other links - beacons.ai/manifestelle
Welcome to the Spoiled Girlie Support Group podcast! In this episode, our host Elle delves deep into the world of OnlyFans, a platform for content creators to monetize their content, particularly in the realm of s work. Elle takes a critical look at how men support, exploit, and weaponize women's s work on OnlyFans.
Elle emphasizes that she isn't passing judgment on women doing OnlyFans, but rather analyzing how men support the platform, celebrate a man exploiting women for OnlyFans, and then weaponize OnlyFans against women. She discusses how men are the main consumers of OnlyFans content and how the parasocial relationships created on the platform highlight the loneliness crisis men are facing.
Elle also highlights the harmful effects of OnlyFans on women who are unaware of basic business practices and tax codes. Doing OnlyFans narrows women's career options and can leave them financially dependent. Furthermore, Elle emphasizes the importance of quantifying women's labor, which is often overlooked in discussions of women's financial disadvantage in relationships.
Elle encourages listeners to focus on securing their own financial wellbeing and to shift the dating conversation away from men and towards getting what we want and need out of relationships with them. She emphasizes that getting your bag is all about ensuring the most equitable relationship you can create with a man; knowing that he can never match whatever you bring and risk in a relationship, but nonetheless he should try.
Tune in for valuable insights and strategies on how to overcome the dangers of being with a man who is broke in character and finances. Learn how to date the spoiled girlie way, set high standards, and find success-minded men whose values align with yours. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more content like this!
Keywords: OnlyFans, s work, women's labor, financial independence, dating, relationships, parasocial relationships, loneliness, basic business practices, tax codes, financial disadvantage, securing financial wellbeing, spoiled girlie, high standards, success-minded men, equitable relationship, broke in character, broke in finances, dating conversation.
Chapters:
03:00 - men are the main consumers of OF content
06:48 - men celebrate a man exploiting women’s OF labor
12:32 - men weaponize onlyfans agaisnt women to silence them in public discourse
13:36 - don’t get mad, get paid
17:19 - we are all s workers
18:35 - the rise of OF highlights the categorization and quantification of women’s s labor which allows us to bargain the wage and the labor itself
22:30 - if men are paying for parasocial relationships, irl relationships must also then hold value
25:26 - bbmle men MENimize women’s need for provision to avoid having to exchange provision for the benefits they reap from women
27:43 - negotiate a wage = prevent your exploitation
28:28 - is OF empowering to women?
![how to combat weaponized incompetence [husband wants cookie for doing the bare min]](/img/1.gif)
I started figuring out my true value through ironically being a professional career nanny, household manager and housekeeper of 20+ years, starting at 14 years old. At the peak of my career, my services as a nanny were worth 3,000 PER week. This is without a degree. Factor in housekeeping, household management and laundry services. That would add up to approximately 8,000 per week. Most men, CANNOT afford their wives and girlfriends. They absolutely cannot afford the benefits of feminine energy and time.
IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOREVER. But I’m always called bitter and crazy. 😂😂😂 I tell women “wives are dumb prostitutes he got a cook,maid, nanny all on a discount” 😂😂
The worst part for men is; if theyd just went to therapy and treated us better we women wouldnt have come to this conclusion and would have kept receiving our love, support and labour for free 😂.
I was a nanny before I had kids and the amount of money the WOMEN were willing to pay me told me everything I needed to know about motherhood and the value of that labor. Since having kids I have not ‘worked’. I wish he would! No but seriously he understands the demands of my job and rose the occasion of being able to fully provide. I have a degree so I’m not helpless but he can carry that load for now.
You’re so awesome! I aspire to be this ambitious!! I am still pretty young, currently 18 years old with no motivation 😅
Yes and so its easier to convince you that you arent valuable. They devalue you to extract your value and siphon your energy like a vampire
Also, let’s be real, s*x for women is a big liability, from pregnancies to infections, to extra expenses to go to the doctor/gyno and meds; and not to mention the emotional and psychological effect that s*x has on us…so make sure you are getting well compensated for it.
Girlie, thank you so much for this magnificent video!!! You nailed it. 💕💕 more women need to see this
So true sex is more of a liability for women. Infections are a big thing especially if the guy is dirty. Plus 80% of us aren’t finishing.
Your comment just made me think of the craziest thing. Imagine if all women just said f it & decided to all go on only fans-esque type of platforms and that was the only way these men could get ANY of our attention? And i dont even mean sx stuff but even just a conversation or a date?Think of all the time we could save & get back not playing stupid dating games & they would also have no choice but to accept s-work as the norm and they couldn't use sx as a weapon against us anymore. We wouldn't have to waste time & energy on broke men who give us nothing. The logical extension would also be that men would have to start paying us to carry their children as well. It's dystopian but these men don't seem like they're ever gonna see us as anything but objects. Welp, 🤷♀️dont get mad, get paid.
Why do you think the emotional and psychological effect of sex is any different for women than men?
@@zaihoupersonal1635 because it is biologically speaking.
@@goddesslauracortesyou want a man to compensate you for sex that you wanted with him???? Do you also want a man to compensate you if you stub your big toe in his apartment or house? How much further does this extreme entitled attitude go?
I “love” how my boyfriend always announces he takes a trash out or finally washed the dishes after i ask for three days to do it, but my home work is like usual thing. And i have a job too.
If I won’t clean home or wash the dishes, or put everything on their places - he will never do it. I tested it for month. We lived in dump.
Fck this shit im out of these relationships
@@MashedTaterz omg, i feel you! Halfway done is so true! like they can't even hang their clothes on hangers or wash all the dishes, its always something left in the sink...i caaaaaaaaaaant
I wish you (and all girlies including my dumb self) to wake up and break free and be happy. I really think it would be so much easier and happier to live alone.
@@reedy_9619i could use that "thing " to become a millionaire, and not waste it on a man child.
I can just feel the 19 year old with a boy that doesn’t deserve her energy coming off this. No hate that is just legit so common 💀 been there. The fast you get out the easier it’ll be. Those ones don’t get better. Good luck 😿
I’m so close to dating women lol
You gave "marriage privilege" to a dating relationship. What do you expect?
I totally agree with girl at 9:45, and the only thing that pisses me off is that no guy will want a girl that does porn while most guys create the demand for porn. They hate the very thing that they want. Could you imagine how few relationships there would be if no family accepted a man that watches porn?
such a good point
men own the porn industry.
Men watch and pay for p0rn but they want to be in relations with a woman with low body count and only committed to him, doesn’t want any other man to access her or else she’s tainted and he just can’t. Meanwhile it’s cool that he goes off and gets female attention anywhere and if he can stick his digit in it then that’s okay in his eyes. That’s why these incels call women 304s and shame them if they have to pay for them to touch him, because he wants to be wanted, and he wants to be the only male that gives her attention. He doesn’t want a woman he’s interested in to be shared with any other men. They want to own women.
Men watch and pay for p0rn but they want to be in relations with a woman with low body count and only committed to him, doesn’t want any other man to access her or else she’s tainted and he just can’t. Meanwhile it’s cool that he goes off and gets female attention anywhere and if he can stick his digit in it then that’s okay in his eyes. That’s why these incels call women 304s and shame them if they have to pay for them to touch him, because he wants to be wanted, and he wants to be the only male that gives her attention. He doesn’t want a woman he’s interested in to be shared with any other men. They want to own women.
Men do get in relationships and marriage with porn actresses,Of creators and camgirls.I met a few decent guys while dating and being a camgirl.
My then boyfriend cheated on me with thai prostituts, it NEVER occured to me to blame the sex workers 😂 I even asked him if hr considered them human and he said "no" thinking thats gonna make things better, i packed my stuff and left 😂 never felt any hatred towards sex workers, these men are just furious that they EITHER have to be good humans 😂 OR pay money 😂
its just too hard for them 😂😂😂
Same, my ex didn't include prostitutes he slept with overseas in the military in his body count because he didn't consider them human 🤮
@horncow4160 Military men are absolutely disgusting. I used to know some who Loved going overseas to engage in child sex trafficking 🤮
Love this!! We love a girls girl. We got to stick together.
@@reedy_9619 Apples and oranges. You're trying to justify infidelity and the nasty diseases and homewrecking that come with it. Men aren't the only ones going without sex for a period of time in order to serve their country.
Get checked. HIV is rampant in Thailand
You also see this in marriages. The equivalent of a „traditional marriage“ for the woman is an unpaid work contract in 24-hour shifts with no vacation time and no legal or financial security. If that was a an actual job nobody would apply.
And not only that, but you do all this and the man will most likely not value or respect what you do because youre „at home all day chilling with the kids living off of him“ and its not „a real job“. They cannot comprehend the extent of womens „invisible labour“.
I used to romantize that kind of marriage when I was younger but now Id much rather study and work cause at least the worktime is limited, youre paid and respected for your work.
🥺ty for sharing bestie
Problem is, when you are a working woman and your husband is not in the position of providing fully for you and the kids once you get pregnant, you will get the shortest end of the stick because now you will have to still go to work for 8+ a day, even when you are pregnant, and then when the kid is born you will have to pay someone to cater to your toddler while you don’t have the choice to stay home with him and you have to go back at work, working 8+ hours a day and then come back home and caring for the toddler and doing all the housework while your body is still out of shape and stressed out by all the pregnancy hormones
While your husband works and come back home, doesn’t even get you to choose if you want to come back in the office because you feel like it or you prefer to stay some months or some years at home with your kid … he gets you pregnant with his kid and makes you work to pay half of the bills…
So a traditional marriage with a man who can provide you with the choice of going back to work or to stay at home fully supported financially it’s better than being a hard working woman who doesn’t get to choose once pregnant
@@ram47863 true ❤️
Are u male or female
Try balancing all that invisible labor on top of your 9-5.
Now what? You either stay single and a 9-5 girlie, OR you be a housewife to a rich man who is healthy and wants to provide for you and kids. And they exist.
@@boopboop9356they're very rare tho. And usually the blame falls on the women for 'choosing' the wrong man, as if anyone would willingly like to torture themselves, instead of blaming the men who don't strive to protect and provide for their loved ones
If men shaped up and improved themselves instead of blaming women then there wouldn’t be a loneliness epidemic and a market for parasocial relationships
Absolutely! 💯
That means they have to be accountable for their actions and mental well-being.
Agreed. They have no capacity for self reflection and won’t ever grow or improve without it.
haha, you can't change men, you can change yourself though
Truth.
Number 1: The male goal is trying to destroy your ego.
Wear your power with confidence and show them that you are a woman.
@@Ghostface__x_ some men do really love and care for women, but it’s low of you to blame her for her experience with men. you’re a man yourself so you don’t have the experience of guys trying to hurt us and take advantage of us…constantly. it’s not every man of course, but it’s almost every time we go outside we have a negative experience, at least for me. i didn’t choose the “loser man” at the gas station to follow me home. i didn’t choose him at all, yet he still tried to harm me. it’s not as simple as choosing a man who won’t hurt us.
@@Ghostface__x_no accountability for male mindset. It is women’s fault for how men act ? Male ego so high they can’t admit it
@@Ghostface__x_some ? So most don’t care or love. Why are women to blame for how men act ? We don’t have to chose them, they walk down the street or stand next to you trying to “humble” you
@@Ghostface__x_no accountability for male mindset
@@Ghostface__x_maybe some men but clearly not you
I love how you said that men while they attempt to humble and devalue women still want access to them. So all of their attempts at doing so are really just a ploy to get access to us for “cheaper”.
Truly an ahaha moment, actually mind blown because it’s such a strong truth and a reminder to never ever lower “your price”
The MINUTE he starts making you feel bad but you can't quite explain why, realize you are being devalued.
Men asking you what you bring to the table, please women don’t try to prove yourself to the man. If he is still in your face, it means he sees your value. You don’t have to explain or show or prove him anything.
@@rosannarichardson7951 I say the perfect response to this question is “nothing, now leave me alone”. Lol they ask women these questions AS IF we approach them. I never approached a man so how stupid would he look approaching me and then asking what I bring to the table??
@@yveje9720the answer is the table,we bring the whole table
Ues
If you knew how much governments benefit from every pregnancy and women’s’ unpaid labor- you would shudder. Why is Poland, Hungry, Japan and South Kore freaking out because the childbirth rate is so low and can no longer replace the population? The low birth rate will force them to increase taxes on individual workers, plan a national elder care program (not enough kids and grandkids to care from granny) and invest in better technology to facilitate military and hospital staff shortages and so much more.
🤯
Well, Japan and Korea deserves it coz they treat women like shit
Im Hungarian and our govt despises women (among others). They homophobically preach “family values” and the slogan “the mother is a woman, the father is a man” when the ENTIRE govt is men, some of whom were outed as gay despite outwardly spreading phobia, meanwhile people are not having kids because their corrupt asses keep stealing everything instead of creating the right conditions for people to start families.
As a Polish woman… they did it to themselves. Starting with allowing doctors to refuse to prescribe medication and refuse performing procedures cause of their religious beliefs, to banning abortion when it was already strictly regulated and the exemptions for it where good ( if mother’s life in danger, in case of grape, if baby was to be born and die soon after or the deformities were impacting their life significantly and in case of incest ) to literally shaming Polish women not only nation wide, but internationally. Gyno visits inc Poland are awful, they push pills on you and nothing more, contraception is expensive and you might not get the prescription for it, the wait time to see a doctor is way too long. There were cases where doctors refused to save women in labour cause of the charges they’d face if they interfered and make the baby die during labour instead of letting the mothers die. There’s so much to cover when it comes to how little freedom and respect Polish women get from the government and their society. Employers are proud to admit they don’t hire women, cause they would rather a guy, cause a guy won’t get pregnant and won’t need a paternity leave, but then they complain about aging in our society. It’s all religion and power and just resentment towards women in Poland. I moved to England at 21 and was shocked I could get a contraceptive implant for free and I won’t have to beg the doctor to tell me about other contraception than the pill. My own mother had tumours on her uterus, heavy bleeding and pain all the time. They put her on contraceptive pill that didn’t help her at all. She begged and they said no. They only performed a hysterectomy on her when the tumour broke when she was giving birth to my sister, 10 years later and with 4 kids and they were still salty they had to do it. So yeah, Poland is just another universe when we’re talking about how messed up things are.
Wow
Saying “Just oyster tumor things” instead of calling out “just pearly things” had me dying 😂 😂😂😂😂😂
What are "pearly things"?
I'm from Germany so the oyster thingy sounded gruesome and I didn't understand it. At least now I get why, but I still don't understand because I don't know the saying you refer to 😅
@@C.C.369it’s a girl on RUclips trying to be a pick me and trying to say how low value women are and how superior men are
I think she isn’t married despite all that lol
@@alexandraaikonika thanks for telling me 🫶
I laughed SO hard when she said that! ❤😂
The fact that Pearl says alllllll that, and still can’t get a man 👀
My mom and one of my brothers tried to talk me into starting an OF a couple of months ago, to bring more money into the household. I told them no, and said if they think it's such a great idea, either they can start their OF accounts, or ask my brother's GF if she will start one. The speed that my brother shot down the idea of asking this of his GF made me laugh. I have no judgment on people who do OF, or S*x workers in general. S*x work is work, and they deserve respect, dignity and safety. My reason for not wanting to do it is half because I have a job that I enjoy and I'm not going to let other people use me or my body as a meal ticket, but more importantly, it's because I've had a stalker before, I've been SA'd before. I'm not comfortable having myself out for anyone to see. Also, it's creepy af that my mom and brother tried ti pressure me to do that. Thankfully I shut them up about it now. Again, I respect OF creators, it's just not for me.
Its always a woman pimping off another woman. Not surprised. Heard many stories of Mothers trying to sell their daughters off.
That’s wild how much they wanted to exploit you.
Omg
Can’t imagine a mother asking her daughter to sell her nudes, of she girl she carried for 9 months inside her body, had given birth, nurtured and raised for 18 years. It just makes me wanna puke.
And that brother is disgusting too. Why don’t they go to work, instead of forcing you to sell your sx photos.
Stay strong girl
I feel you with the stalking part it's no joke. But that is so shameful that the brother is asking you but wouldn't let his gf do it. Delusional and exploitative fr.
Wow, I'm shocked reading this. I hope you see that your mother (?!) and brother (?!) are disturbing individuals. There's really something wrong with them. I would always watch out for them if I would be you. 💕
I would like to correct that the argument on why the government should pay for women for their housework isn’t because is “free”, it’s because women having babies is crucial to keep a country moving. When natality rates lower the general population ages and there’s less young workforce (aka less money circulating) which is why women deciding not to have babies *is* a state problem, and they should come with solutions for it
I would prefer men who want children to pay compensation to their wives!! For 2.5 years at least! The amount of stress your body and mind is going through( even if it’s an easy pregnancy) is unbelievable.
@reedy_9619 immigration doesn’t fill the gap and comes with its own issues. At some point, you’re also gonna run out of the labour of developing countries’ women to exploit.
@@indrinita No we won't. No Western country will have this issue. However Westerners will certainly suffer if they don't block being essentially replaced. People have no idea that after every pandemic wages increase due to less people. Notice the west immediately increased immigration after this.
Yeah, fatherless children are growing up to be our military, so they better support our single moms if they want more solders.
And that is one of the reasons they’ve (politicians) made abortion illegal in the U.S., to force women to have babies to make up for a lower workforce in the future, but don’t want to pay for any kind of help for new mothers or their babies. Sure, they say it’s because “abortion is murder”, to pull at your heartstrings or your religious views, but they really only care about not having enough workers in the future. Some of them have even said so.
Ahaha, somehow I ended up finding a man that was raised by a woman who instilled this knowledge into him about women’s worth. I was raised by a narcissistic woman who wanted to devalue me at any cost and I just started to grasp this info a few years ago. I literally used to cry that I felt like I wasn’t doing enough being a stay at home new mother and he was like “I will get you more money you do too much plz relax”. Literally could have ended up so bad for me, I owe so much to his mom lmao
Same! ❤
What a keeper! You luck gal. All of us who were raised by narcissists and people who were not taught the inherent value of being a woman, are still in recovery. I'm just glad to be here observing this comment honestly.
Is his mom a Scorpio by any chance😂.
@@ARS-fn6px his mom is a Sagittarius, but he’s a Scorpio
Crazy how much our moms vilianize men. I too found a gentle giant who values life. Truly beautiful
Never initiate cleaning or cooking when you live with a man. In my 20s i tested this extensively: no man wanted to clean or cook and i didn't either. We lived in a dump until he said:" hey let's clean,the house is too dirty". Then we did it together but never me alone. So,it's either you live in a dump or you dump him! The choice is yours but the "i'll do it" was never a choice for me and neither should for you!
Yup
Who pays the bills?
As a hyper-feminine political scientist spoiled girlie I absolutely adore your content and want to validate you for articulating such complex power and labor dynamics so elloquently. You put in a single 30 mins video what a lot of gender-study curriculums I've attended could not in a whole semester.
I wish you were around to lecture all my colleagues at academia.
What a compliment! And I agree with that, of course.
This is what I’ve been thinking too! It’s put together really well.
She’s the best bestie! One that tells you the truth.
She is brilliant.
It’s annoying these same men who won’t marry an ex OF girl and judge negatively, is the same man who watches porn on the past, and/or currently, or has benefited form OF content in the past, or even now currently. And isn’t it like 98% of men who watch it? SMH. It’s all intimidation. It makes them feel insecure so they need to shame us
These men are the REAL goldiggers exploiting women's labor and bodies for free or at a discount and then tossing them aside like trash. Projection, no wonder they talk so much about it and to access us at discount or for free. The real Epidemic of Goldiggers is that of MALE Godiggers!
Simple, a man nor a woman won’t pay for something that’s already free, but also there may be a difference to porn and actual marriage and marrying someone who may be more familiar wirh sw than a relationship and has alfrady just had tons of guys sleeping with her. Sure some women can supply porn, but that doesn’t mean the dude will pay for it, or marry her.
@@katieblake3023 It’s not exploiting just because the man won’t pay for her OF that she created. Other women make porn for an audience for free completely by themselves and their own acord, however it’s not entitlement that other men wom’t pay, nor exploitation just because those women made that content, but men didn’t pay for it while others willingly make it for free for an audience. It’s more so entitlement to think that doing porn is labor, and that men SHOULD pay or should have the prefence to marry them or else it’s wrong. It’s like if I make a video jerking off, but tell women to pay for it or else she’s a gold digger for not paying and not wanting to marry me and simply being done with the content after watching.
@@anotherrandomguy8871 translation- you see women as objects. gotcha! hypocrite.
@@anotherrandomguy8871 men usually marry women mostly for beauty, and if she’s attractive enough for you to watch her and get off to her online, then not much difference! Even if you’re not paying it doesn’t matter, you’re still supporting her but giving her views and engaging
Regardless of your views on who should pay in dates, I find it really weird that a lot of the same men who complain about "entitled" women expecting men to pay are the ones who are against feminism and want men and women to be in traditional roles. They want to be the sole providers for their women but can't even pay for a meal? How are you going to afford a home and take care of your future wife and kids all by yourself if you can't even pay for a woman's pasta, chicken, and Coca-Cola at the Olive Garden? They don't want women to work and have money, but they have to pay for half the meal?
Then, when women end up paying for half the meal, these men accuse the women of "emasculating" the men they're dating, like if we pay our share, it's only done with malicious intent to make men feel insecure. Yet if we don't pay, we're spoiled and entitled. No matter what we do, these type of men will always be angry with us. Why do anti-feminist men complain about women not paying for meals at dates? This is what they want.
This is an actually interesting take that I've tried my best to articulate but couldn't put into words. Thanks,.imma use this and give you credit ofc. To summarize your point: inconsistency in expectations and delivery.
They want to have and eat their cake, essentially
It's true. If your price is marriage, you are putting a tag on it. We cannot separate s work from our inherent value that God gave us. Since it is so valuable, we have to put a price tag on it.
100%
@@ThatNerdApparel providing for a woman as God commands, it's not the same as buying. He provides because he finds value in that woman.
@@clauaome25elle was saying that tho. Every woman has value whether every man to that woman wants to acknowledge it or not
they act like they are entitled to her body as IF they bought her. You can wrap it however you like but the core idea is that he is buying her or compensating her for services. In the old days and even in some places today men sold their daughters to men as wives, women and girls often did not get to chose who they liked, loved, were attracted to or even felt safe with they were just sold to the highest bidder or not and then expected to serve them man with domestic labour, repordictive labour and sex work. that is the foundation of traditonal marriage. it is inherenlty transactional. In modern times we can shape our relationships as we wish for the most part but still the frame work remains and also the attitudes subonsciously or consciously. YOu find value in products and services people do not have any price on them inherently, a patriarchal and dehumanising and capitalist society is that which places price tags on women and people first and this has been the foundation of our societies for millenia now, it is hard to break this ideology especially when we still have to live it wether we like it or not. Because it actually shoudl be he provides, safety, security, resources and care because he loves her and his kids that is the human way. the capitalist and patriarchal way is he provides money because her body and services are valuable to him. BTW providing is bare minimum even in the commands for husbands by GOD he is supposed to also LOVE and HONOR many men dont even know what that looks like they think throwing money at her is enough and even with resentment see that as them buying her entire being. They do not know how to love and honor a woman because they dont know what love and honor is, they do not even see women as human beings and as beings with souls.@@clauaome25
I just came across you for the first time and I like your more nuanced approach as opposed to the gender essentialists or the 'be like a man' "feminists". I'd like to add more nuance : If it's true that women's *_peak_* fertility window is shorter than a man's, then her time is inherently more valuable than his. If sex is riskier to women than men (i.e. consequences for sex), then her sex is inherently more valuable than his. If women take more risk to her personal safety in meeting him than he does in meeting her, then her physical presence is inherently more valuable. EVEN IF men & women were EQUALLY interested in sex/dating (and by extension reproduction/parenting) the fact that one party, women, have a disproportionate risk in engaging will often result in men offering (or women asking for) an extra incentive to compensate for women's disproportionate risk.
@@trytoo5167
"Where is my incentive to be with someone like you?" This question doesn't follow from my point. You see, my point is referring to male female relations as collectives, not individual man individual woman relations. As a collective, what are men's incentive to be with women? Generally, sex, reproduction, companionship, partnership, family building, etc. Of course, the same is true for women. So .... "Incentive to do what you already want to do"? Sure, men and women already want to engage with each other. So it's quite possible that men & women have equal desire, but it's undeniable that men & women have UNequal risk/cost/jeopardy. After doing cost/benefit/risk analysis, this will affect the net outcome and net incentives.
Nah you ate with this bestie 🎯
You're 100% correct ❤
WOW I never thought of it this way... you are so right.
"if all of you women demanded something in return for the times you gave up your body, you all would be ruling the world" this quote has stuck with me, it's from the novel "The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo" said by Harry Cameron
"True empowerment is when YOU CHOOSE what YOU are empowered by" 👏this right here needs a standing ovation.
True! I literally never felt empowered paying half the bill, no matter the brainwashing or Pickmeasha epidemic
I'll never forget 30 years ago when a woman 30 years my senior said she had disicovered "A man likes it when a woman has a price on herself."
is the man Andrew Tate? Yeah it annoys me that woman are shamed for doing OF but then men who manage girls are given glory and praise - weird society.
They are given glory and praise because men are happy to see a man place value on a woman's looks, body, and craft, instead of the woman placing the value onto herself. If it were up to most men though, they would take it all from us FOR FREE.
They are both wrong though
Andrew tainte is an abusive sex trafficker who beat his victims
At least he is in jail now for it.
I'm realizing that I'm not only saving myself when rejecting low effort men, but contributing to the overall success of women when I make better decisions.
"he still wants to access you bestie. he's just haggling" omg girl ily
I would adore having a friend like you irl!💕
Finally, someone who has the same take as me on the matter! You are very brave for voicing your thoughts in a world that wants to bring women down for anything she does that puts her own pleasure and values first.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As a thinking, breathing, feeling woman... THANK YOU. Your content is solid gold.
As a nurse, doula, mother, and former s worker, I have ALWAYS thought that my labor existed on a spectrum. Women's work is intimacy work. Caregiving is sex work. ALL of it is devalued and used against us.
I don't think it is used against us. I think women devalue their offering care because society has told them they need to audition to be picked by these basic Jacks. If women understood how valuable giving care was they would hold it back and only give it to a man that has paid for it. We devalue ourselves.
Hi, would you mind sharing what made you stop that work? I genuinely don't know why many women stop it if they do actually get plenty of $.
As a sociologist, I love your content.. social science theory AND practice for the girlies
it's time we did some translational work💅🏽 thank you bestie
Do you think her content apply for mature women 40s,,do you think?!
I've always been interested in looking into being one. Is it a myth that they aren't compensated as well in there field relative to their PhDs?
All your videos make so much sense!!!! People tell me my standards are too high, my expectations are too high and that’s why I’m single often. There are just a lot of men trying to haggle me down so they can get me at a discount and I see that now. Thank you!
Also, while men wanna access us at a low price, they are also the ones who do not value what they attain at aow price.
The most unforgettable woman in any man's life is the one in whom he invested the most, in whatever currency that may be.
Look at how lavishly men will spend on women whom they consider to be above their league.
They're suckers.
She isn't unforgettable. The currency he paid is.
@@millieconsultancycurrency is forgettable. You can always make more money. It's the time and attention that he spent on her and all the benefits she brought him that are unforgettable.
All men harbor the desire to be intimate with women. Some are willing to exchange resources and effort, some want a discount, and some use force. There 😇
Correct. Men need to reprogram themselves and stop thinking about sexual intercourse. The "big head" should control the "little head". It is not going to be easy, but the parameters point and force even in the right direction.
Why is this so true, I was on the phone with this guy and he was talking about how we would have sex and stuff and I then told him he has to take me out first,buy me things etc before we can do anything sexual. He then said but that’s what prostitutes are and that why do I need money to have sex. You will not have me for free because like you’ve said we are all sex workers! and I’m so happy I’ve realized this, we do not need to be exploited because men mainly want sex from us and women don’t need sex as much which gives us the power to have higher standards on who we let in.
Must be biological drive thing bc as a woman I’m content with pleasuring myself but even if men do that they still want sex on average more. I love sex and on average have a higher libido than my husband, at least slightly. But it’s not like I would pay 💰 for sex with a man. So the negotiating power is definitely in women’s court. 😂
The man insulting sex work and then wanting the sex for free is just so hypocritical
Elle takes me out each time she goes “below-bare-minimum-low-effort-man” 😂😂😂💗
This was a very intelligent take. Well done, and I love how you pointed out the hypocrisy of it all.
thank you 🫶🏽🫶🏽
This always had me baffled. They’re okay with a man making money from a girl that does OnlyFans, but not okay with the girl making her own money from doing OnlyFans. 😂
My mind is blown by what you said about each woman knowing what empowers her in her particular situation. It is stupid to think that something is empowering because someone tells you it is, even when you don't feel empowered by it at all. Very sneaky!! This applies not only to OF but to your other points; if being exactly like a man doesn't feel truly empowering to me, then discourse is wrong, not me. If paying 50-50 doesn't feel empowering but more like something to do to not feel scared that you will owe something to a man, then it's NOT empowering. I need to watch this video more times, you're on another level.
This is the comment i like because it allows for nuance. I am legit someone who feels empowered by 50/50 and i do not want to add any traditional womans roles like additional domestic labour, child care or obligation to wear makeup to a mans life. Happy to date women too. Everyone is different
You can feel 'empowered' by whatever but feminism is not about that. Feminism is when something benefits women as a class, as a whole. OF or marriage can be empowering ( whatever that means) for some women but they're not feminist whatsoever. Having said this, not every woman has to be feminist, that's not a path for everyone.
As a lawyer marriage can be very empowering for women in society. There are legal and economic protections that you do not have if you are not married. This is clear when you see most BBMLE men refuse to get married. I know of a baby daddy who broke up with his gf after they had a baby but convinced her that they should pretend to be together bc he’s reaping all these benefits of accessing her. Meanwhile bc they’re not married, there’s no additional protection for the woman and her baby. Arranged Marriage protected men’s interests. Modern Marriage protects women’s interests bc now we get to choose the man and also choose to leave/divorce. That’s why these crusty dusty men don’t want to get married, or they want to bringer back arranged marriages, or if you’re married they don’t want you to divorce.
Bestie you are single-handedly saving an entire generation of women. I love you ❤️
Oh my god, the other creators I watch surrounding hypergamy/femininity and all of that are not as nuanced and intelligent as this. And the sad thing so many people won't get what she's saying. There's better for you, you're being exploited under the guise of love whilst everything is to the benefit of guys (and often the detriment of women). We need to finesse this patriarchy and make it work for us, because most likely no one is looking out for our best interest but ourselves (excluding pickmeishas).
So not sure if you're aware, what that "Bugatti" guy is doing is legally considered sex trafficking. What he's promoting is not only super illegal, it's deeply immoral.
The funny thing about the parasocial relationship is the most successful OF creators have a team responding to the fan mail, they just don’t have the time!
Just binge watched your videos and my mind is blown! I just got out of a situationship with someone who's very spiritual and knowledgeable but turned out to be a wounded, emo unavailable, avoidant, manipulative, misogynistic woman-hater. With abandonment/father wounds, I've been such a ppl pleasing pickme chooseme doormat who seeks love from others not from within n asks for the bare minimum from the wrong people. I've been on the healing journey, doing the innerwork for so long but I've never felt this empowered as now. Thanks for reminding me of my inherent self-worth and that we ppl pleasing, softie lovergirlies need indestructible self-love, firm boundaries, high standards, n good masculine men who choose us 100% n happily provide for us. Thank you, you're saving many people from low-quality disastrous experiences and from ruining their lives. For me, it's guaranteed cs it all sunk in. Keep up the amazing work
🌺Well said!
❤
I am proud of you bestie 😊 you mentioned you had wounds from a father figure. Me too. How did you figure out how that was affecting you? ❤
I feel seen by your comment as I'm going through the exact same right now. Good luck to you and all the other girlies! ❤
@@DandLucyRight, it’s so easy to fall into the love me/pick-me trap, and you always end up disrespected/treated like nothing at the end. Only by picking ourselves first will we ever be entirely happy and satisfied.
That is sad....its s#x trafficking....just online at this point. ...never could judge of girlies because in this world money is a priority. ....I hate that a man has decided to turn it into his business. ...that is not his body being exploited
Daily mantra for 6 out of 7 days "Don't get mad, get paid", the other mantra is for my delulu day " I am a rich b****"
💅🏽💅🏽
What men want from women is like me wanting a dentist to fix my teeth and then pay ME because I have received neccecery care from them.
@@brytankak9598 And then most importantly, ask the dentist wHaT dO yoU bRinG tO tHe TabLe
Don't get mad get paid 👏🏼
Women should know their values and worths
we always blame the women who make the OF but never the hundreds of thousands of creeps who buy it and create the kind of market that makes of creators so highly payed
I do onlyfans and cams and I’ve always had this perspective. I have a bachelors, so before I went full time sw, I worked at an office and worked closely as an assistant to lawyers. It got to a point where they told me if I wanted to “take it to the next level” I would have to “use my body”. That was the last meeting I had working for them.
Even if you don't get sexually harassed at that "real" job, they are still exploiting your mind and body. At my last job, they were really happy with the work and at the pace I was producing. Then slowly they started adding more and more work while my salary stayed the same. They were making me get involved in managing other departments without the title and salary. One of my managers even stole my idea to make himself look better. My bosses were trying to push me to be with their son who also worked in the company (who was on Reddit all day long and shirked his responsibilities btw) so in the end I said, I'd rather figure out a way to work for myself. As a woman, the chances of you getting pushed into a form of sex work is much higher - no matter where you work or who you work for. I wish it wasn't so but it is. And if you disagree with me as a woman for having different experiences, that's great for you but know that it is happening to many women.
Wow! How disgusting, but that's how it was for me also, never had a chance to climb the career ladder at all despite the hard work I was putting in 😢 In the end you really come to ask yourself what is wrong with you? Guys working less around you get it all but nothing for you? On the contrary, they demand even more from you because they feel like you are underworked??? S'cuse mee??? What the hell does that mean??? And you have to be thankful??? Fk them!!!!
@@nathaliecarluccio7559 Yep, my exact sentiments. The sexism faced in the workplace is subtle and not always as easy to detect as depicted in movies. And yes, they do get in your head, making you think it's you with the problem. But it's not you, it's them. You are valuable in your own way, don't ever let other people tell you otherwise, especially when they don't even know you. Keep grinding to the top, don't stop! Fk them!
At least now you re getting paid way better than what they had to offer you in that "next level".And you dont have to sleep with them either.Get that bag,bestie!
Stop doing this to yourself
as a sociology major, I love how you included Wages Against Housework! 😭❤
We ARE entering a new era!
So basically women are getting screwed right now. Doing triple the job men do.
So what can we do?
1. The man is the provider. He works, I work. My money is my money and his money is our money. But I still have to do the housework and take care of the kids.
2. We both work and split the bills. But I minimize the amount of house work I do. By either him doing 50 or hiring another person to do it. Also the technology is getting better so our house labor is getting reduced. Also he also will take care of the kids.
3. We both work but he still is the provider. He also does his share of the house work. And helps with the kids.
I don't know what I will chose to do. But what I know is that I don't want to stay at home. I need my own money and job to do for which I'm getting payed for. Not working at home for a thank you.
You have opened my eyes. I was raised by a pick me mother and an ignorant father. It was tough to say the least. You have opened my eyes. Thank you for this information. Thank you for this. You are changing one mindset at a time. keep at it.
Tha amount of people on social media who will publically announce they reject someone's humanity because they have an OF is wild
I wish I could like this video 100 times.
THANK YOU for painting such a vivid picture of these social constructs and how women should be working within them - THIS is how we benefit (and maybe even disrupt) the Patriarchy. Right. Here. All women need to hear this message 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I'm here for it
A smile is a promise of reward (to men). A smile shows they've opened you up to them, and quite possibly in more ways than one 😬
This woman is single handedly keeping the dustys away . YAS Queen
Thank you so much for this video ..The feminists need to chill cause you are not setting us back, you are literally upgrading our life and informing us
thank you 🥺 i appreciate you bestie 🫶🏽🫶🏽
Yep, she’s the 4th (or whichever is next) wave feminist!
Which of the feminists? Majority of her resources are from feminists writers.
It seems more like a remastered version of 1970s feminism, which after equal rights from the early 1900s is the best to explain the value of women in society. I don’t like identitarian us vs them BS from the 90s and 2000s. I’m not a victim bc I’m a woman. I’m empowered! We are Mother Nature incarnate. This is why men have tried to subjugate and control us for thousands of years bc they know how powerful women are. I’d love to see REAL Patriarchs and Matriarchs working together for the benefit of humanity. As Elle says, servant leadership. It’s not a competition or zero sum game. Ie: for America? She would like a woman President please. America needs some feminine energy for a bit. Some unifying and healing energy. Some Mama Bear energy. People bad mouth women in leadership positions. Our families are without fathers and our country is without a mother. And it shows!
The way you explain scientific social concepts and make it look so simple, I love you so much bestie 😭💗✨
thank you bestie 😭
I’m loving this video! I have gained so much confidence in the last 6 months and this is just what I need to hear. Cheap men will always say ‘you’re selling yourself’ that’s right they can’t access us now!
While they would do exactly the same thing if they would be a woman for even a day.
"I understand men are lonely" prostitution is literally called the oldest profession and yet the reason why men "need" it seems to conveniently adapt with the times.
The way this video made me SCREAM in realization and I felt my whole life as a woman just make fucking sense. THANK YOU.
Silvia was the base for my final paper in law school. It was a shock, I cried for days trying to read her books, because I didn't really understand BUT understand it all. Your lives will change as it changed mine.
Answered now why men always want to access us women.
💅🏽
Lol when they hate you they just need to date themselves 😂
Wow, your video really blew my mind! 🤯
I would think of getting a Husband, sometimes when I am lonely or horny.
But this video made me reconsider my priorities.
It is such a big liability to marry the average man.
I realised that in such a relationship, I could contribute a lot of resources, and get very little rewards in return.
I already see this IRL, because of how my Father liked to gamble before he retired and we were trying to pull through financially. My Father also does not do Household chores most of the time, and believes that it is a woman's job, which is what my mother says to get me to do Housework.
I think if Korean Drama taught me anything, is that if I want to marry a man, he better be a CEO or a Doctor or somewhere around that level. 🤣
My female family members advised that it is better for me to stay single, unless I meet an outstanding man.
Though do not buy into the K drama effect as the reality is totally different.
Women have totally opted out of marriage and dating here because in reality men are so patriarchal and do not want to change
Yes, stay single.
Keep your money to yourself, save your sanity and physical freedom.
@@zohramartini9425
Yeah, tv is tv.
Women who hate gold diggers/ OF creators/women who date for money are just mad they can never get a man to pay for them
Gold diggers and OF creaters are two different types of women. You can get a man to pay for you with9ut degrading yourself for millions to view lol.
That’s a rətardəd take, but whatever helps you cope.
@@dallypurcy3113go away lonely incel.
what I find twisted? men complaining " women care only about money "
"... but you said yourself you wanna be man and be provider that women NEED TO STAY HOME "
lol how she is suppose to secure her health if she cant trust you to be provider what you wanted to be so much?
ig its time go back to work! seriously dont ever trust anyone to pay your life, make your own money
I love her “ it’s not our problem!!“
please make more videos! you're helping a lot of women! I'm rooting for you to reach as many women as possible!
Lol. No. I've been celibate for 10 years. I am not a "sex worker".
I believe she asked you to sit in the front of the class No Nuance Nelly.. SMH
I’m so happy to see all of you doing better and realizing all of the bs! I wish I had known my own worth years ago. I’ve helped men get jobs, do better, be better. All while I suffered financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ve been single and doing the work for two years now and realize how much time and effort I gave in my life to people I thought loved me. If only I had put all of that time and effort, and MONEY into myself!!! Never let anyone guilt trip you for knowing your worth. You are all on the right track, believe me I know!
I started paying my own way through the dates that I knew wouldn't result in a second date - just to protect myself and not hand them the "I paid for your food so you owe me sex/relationship now" card. I don't treat it as independence or anything, it's a fee that I pay for my own comfort and safety, because men are amazing actors when you first get to know them and it's actually pretty scary when this lovely, charming gentleman does a 180 upon not receiving what he was hoping to gain and honestly I'd rather not join the statistics of women killed or r-worded by men they rejected.
Good for you to have that be your reason to do that and not undervaluing your time and presence.
Even just not wanting to feel like your using a guy for a free dinner or getting to feel more free in dinner options without feeling like your being rude are good reasons but feeling like you aren’t worth a meal from a potential suitor isn’t one of them.
A meal doesn't mean nothing to Men@@laurennelson3918
Cant you just say thank you for the evening,go home and block him? If you aint going to meet him again,how is he going to find you to revenge for that sex/ relationship you "owe"him in exchange of a meal?
@@criticalthinking9924 clearly you are either a man or a very sheltered woman. I had a guy follow me home and get increasingly annoyed and aggressive, trying to debate me into "paying him back" and only go away when my neighbour came out to walk his dog. In hindsight it was pretty stupid to go home as he was following me, but I was 18, new to the city and scared
No offense but all of women's manipulation only works as long as man does not realize that he is being given the short end of stick.
They're alone and aroused. Actually many men who have OF subscriptions probably do have romantic relationships, and are even fathers' of families. They may be lacking intimacy and sexual experiences with their partner due to over stressed family dynamics/ modern lifestyles. I think men in these scenarios are looking to fulfill their desire for sexual experiences, without afterward feeling that they have been physical with someone outside of their committed partnership. . . 🤔 🧐 Idk just some of my thoughts. I don't know any statistics on these matters. 😅
They prefer their screens over working to enjoy intimacy with their partners
@@user-od5fh3gn4dRight, most of them mostly then in those cases aren’t really putting the work in at home it would seem😹And trying to play like Peter Pan online way too much still with girls they’ll never really know, or experience so much that are just after their money only🤣Better for them to focus more on rebuilding back up, and or fix more whatever is wrong or not fulfilling enough etc in their very real relationships seems like.
My ex was a porn addict who used OF and having talked to many other women in similar situations it was never because there was a lack of sexual intimacy in the relationship. In fact, in my case, the more he watched porn, the less sex we had. I would cry almost every night because he chose porn over me.
The problem is porn is easy, its fast. You dont have to put in any effort like when you have sex with your partner. These men get a quick hit of dopamine and end up choosing the easy way over their loving partner.
You really praising Men?? Very weird.
I'm totally OBSESSED with your videos! They've come in the right moment and they've opened my eyes about my value. Thank you so much for that! Love your Scorpio vibes btw 🦂
Crazy that the people who tote the free porn line, often are the ones watching pirated content instead of paying. They don't even want the free porn, they just hate women.
Yeah and a lot of that pirated content is just filmed SA and trafficking. Pretty f’ed up.
What a very thought-provoking piece! The truth is that unless you move to an island where there's no people or everyone is BLIND, we live in an ecosystem where our physical appearance matters! Of course, that's not to say that your appearance is ALL that there is to you but it does matter. No man who's ever asked me out (or asked you out) thought you were ugly, that's for sure. So they are gaining something out of it. In a similar sense, you have the girls on OF who also monetize and capitalize on their looks.
You are literally like the older sister i never had! Nd your content is so high value, i appreciate it so much❤️
this girl opened my fuckin brain apart holy fuck
as an OF creator i agree. SW isn’t empowering for everyone, but we are all S workers. how we tend to monetize is our choice and that’s what’s empowering. OF can be a nightmare for some, even a huge regret. Others see it as a dream, a way to profit by just being a woman, both are valid POVs.
I found my worst, actually ironically through only fans. Once I set prices for the things I was already giving for free it was a gotcha moment.
I absolutely looove this long-form structured videos, thank you so much💕
You’re brilliant. Notebook on my table FILLED!
A friend of mine which is young and incredibly handsome had a onlyfan girl wanting to go out with him (free), and his friends discouraged him because she was a “whore”. ..
I love your videos and want to see more!! You’re shera’s spiritual daughter 🎉
🥺🥺
Read up on Robert Greene content. Reputation! Reputation! I haven’t watched the whole video but only fans is not something to aspire to do in any way as woman who values themselves. I don’t are if I’m broke. I will not devalue myself by doing sex work.
@@wilson8979you need to first discourage men from watching only fans. Then women will also stop engaging themselves in it. As long as there are consumers, the business keeps running.
As a Muslim girl I would discourage anyone from dating an onlyfans girl too.
Men do not like women more than they like the opinion of other men. You are a pawn. And will always be one.
would you consider posting the episodes as a podcast format aswell? i would love to rewatch them (or listen lol) as i do chores 🫶🏻 love the videos & the mindset
bestie we're on Spotify and apple podcast too
@@therealmanifestelle thank you bestie!! 💓
Omg amazing!! Binging on all your content
Makes soooo much sense! I had to send this video to all my girlies🤣👑❤️
purrr💅🏽 sharing is caring 🫶🏽
As i keep watching your videos i realized that i was a covert pickmeasha LOL. I pitied those mediocre men and tried to build with them. And i get nothing but disrespect in the end because they felt like I am pushing them to develop themselves because i dont love and accept them the way they are even they say they want me to push them forward in the beginning. Now i understand that it was a lie they want me to believe (maybe they want to believe it themselves too idk.) only because they wanted the access to a shiny woman way outside their league.
this
Keep up the good work Elle!
Thanks so much. You’re like an elder sister whose advice can literally save lives. God bless you. ❤
thank you 🥹🥹
Regarding the points made in this video_ A man who actually falls for a Woman doss not fall for how sexy her gym selfie will be. Ik guys who genuinely fell for their lovers' funny jokes/ intelligent banters/etc. Moreover. In a committed relationship... Both the men and the women desire each other sexually. Does that make this "sex worker" concept applicable for both?
Lastly. A woman in a committed relationship puts "value" in her sexual energy as it is exclusive for her man(a single one)_her own choice.
In case of only fans... That service is for a mass of PERVERTED men..there is a "price" to her sexual energy. Nothing exclusive. The choice of the creator.
In both cases, the women choose. Just their choices are different.
The more I hear about America ... the more unrealistic it seems. What is this competition between men and women? Each putting down the other to be the "superior" one. Both sexualizing everything and complaining about it. Why can't both coexist as a complementary match. My household will be incomplete without my dad. Both my mom and dad work and do housework. They are equals in their own different ways.
bro I was thinking the same
The prevalence of American men who genuinely love their lady partner is so low. You don't really see it happening. This is the majority of American culture.
@@haileyt857Right, it’s at an all time high right now. Which is especially why you see a mass of women as a whole taking back their power even more so now entirely, while calling these everyday horrible types of men out on their bullshit harder. It’s a lot of American men in today’s culture that has to change the most is the reality, and they hate owning their shit even more so feeling next-level entitled so much of the time to be a prick, but have no problem trying to once again attempt to put women down even further, and for nothing other than women seeing what they are doing and how wrong it actually is.
Men benefit way more from sex than women.
I wouldn’t say the man who consume only fans content, are perverted. You can’t break them down to a monolith just like all women are not the same. As she mentioned in the video, a lot of men, seek out these type of platforms to have a para social relationship because they are lonely. For men, one of the ways that they bond is often through sex. And so having a crush on an online girl and being able to imagine, having sex with her is kind of how the male brain works. I don’t think calling the men who are supporting a content, creator, perverted is kind or true.
Recovering pickmesa here. This was a lot to take here. I will do my best to figure out my value and get my bag.
i'm so glad i found your channel. binge watching all of your content rn. thank u thank u
wtf this is like one of the best vids i've seen in my entire life
Girl thanks for the information! More girls should watch your content 🥰
you are most welcome bestie ✨ 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I'm here for this message. I haven't heard someone break it down like this before. Amazing!!
You are just fantastic! This is so well explored and said!
thank you bestie 🥹🥹
I love her sm "is it sad? I don't really care"
Loved everything you said, Elle! Keep spreading the word.
I just want to double down on what that woman said about our generation making it seem like we accept everything but we really don’t. She’s 1000% correct and I really wish people would stop gaslighting and bullshitting people into things when they know they wouldn’t do it themselves.
“A woman can decide to be a sex worker if she wants to!!! I won’t, but you do you girl…“
“A woman should be able to decide whether or not she wants to get married and live alone if she wants to! I’m not going to do that, I love my man, but you do you, girl…”
“It’s transphobic to not want to date trans people!! I would never do that, but you do you girl…”
Like, come on now, the mixed messages at this point are just lies. This is what happens when people virtue signal. There’s a lot of false support and false narratives for ideologies that appear to be accepted, but in reality have the same or less backing than before.
No come on don't be a TERF
I don't know why it took me so long to find your content. God I love it here
how are you so young and yet so wise? seriously I feel like I watched a philosophical video with new insights I haven't heard of before. Def Subscribed!