I think it takes a lot of guts to write a song like this. It's candid and honest, and it doesn't pull any punches just because those punches are directed at Tim Minchin himself.
Tim is amazing at writing these kinds of songs. I'd also say this is a far better love song than any of the "your the only one for me" bullshit. Seriously which is better; "you're the only one for me" "I'm not interested in anyone else" "I met someone, beautiful, witty, kind, wearing a stunning dress and asking me to spend the night with her while I was extremely lonely; yet I turned her down because it would have hurt you"
@@pioneer_1148 This is I think a big reason I don’t like modern music. I always struggle to find a way to express why, when both 40s & Modern cover romance, I only like 40s I suppose I’ve finally found my reason in your wording. Thanks friend
To me that was the least relatable part, but that's what happens when you specifically call out a ranking of values rather than the actions and feelings.
I can’t listen to this song without him thinking about his daughter as well. Is his daughter also included? I don’t know ...but this gives me another different perspective and taste to this unique and profound song. Thank you Tim!
Does anyone else find this breathtakingly honest? And I appreciate how much he respects the would-be-other woman. No attempt to shift the blame or paint her as a wicked temptress. So many men (and women) tempted to stray are quick to lay it all on the other person. Brilliant and more brilliant.
The first time I heard the song I was too worried it was going to go in that direction. As soon as I knew it didn't I re-listened and heard the lyrics properly and almost cried.
I saw him perform it tonight (Monday)! I went to the DC concert on Saturday but my parents were able to get off from work so I came up today to see it again with them. He sand a different song Saturday and added this one in for NYC
Ironically I live in florida and I met a woman from south africa. It's been 2 years we still are in love. Hopefully I can move her here soon. But we are separated by oceans and 12 k miles
Oh come on people didn't get less faithful. Sure there's more divorce which just means less toxic relationship. Sure there's more small casual relationship but it just means the sexuality his freed. I hate the "nowdays things are worse" mentality. What exceptional about Tim Minchin is the attention given to the work of love.
@@mattcraftien974 You missed the point of what I was saying. Most pop music is about easy, 'cheap' love (attraction), casual sex and treating one another as objects as opposed to people. Here is a song about staying faithful while acknowledging that worldly and physical pleasures are a constant pressure and/or battle. Singing about how difficult it is to choose to stay faithful is rare. I think plenty of people are trying and 'nowadays' things are better when it comes to equitable relationships.
It isn't easy to catch my attention let alone stir my appreciation. This is perhaps the most beautiful love song I have heard in the last 82 years, lovely, kind, respectful to all parties involved in the story, great visual at the finish of the video. Maturity is partially defined as the ability to hold ambiguity, especially emotionally, and this young man is quite able to do that. It is one key factor of all his work, which is also rich in form, structure, line, and color. Congratulations to Mr. Minchin on conceptualizing and producing such an exquisite song.
It's not the "never thought about cheating", nor is it "yeah well but what's the big deal anyway if they did?"... it's conflicted, tempting, and painful, yet grateful, self-aware and sweet. It's not romantesized, it's... humane. And I love everything about it. Tim, thank you for this gift... with everything you create, moving hearts and minds, I'm grateful to be able to experience it.
In a poetic way it kind of is romanticized, like he was tempted but he is so devoted he would rather worry about how his wife felt for all of her days over how he felt for a single one.
I am an old man with many regrets. I wish i had sung this song in the past. But, wishing for my past to change is a path of soot and sorrow. Pointless. I am glad someone is singing it today. Thank you.
I always come back to this song. I've been apart from my husband many times, for long periods of time, including right now. But when this song came out, during the pandemic I was in my country and he was in his and for almost a year we couldn't see each other. We were apart for the whole year after I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I went through the treatment, lost my voice, so we couldn't talk for long. 2021 came along, we finally met again, got married and I'm still in remission.
anyone else think how hard it would have been for his wife to hear thisthe first time? i saw him perform this in Adelaide in march, and cried. it was so beautiful
From everything I know about Tim's relationship with Sarah, I suspect she was already aware that chicks started hitting on him after his career took off. She was the one who believed in him _before_ that success.
i was thinking about this, too! but i know a little bit about what it's like being a performer and dating performers, and it's not like it is with "normal" people. They're artists and they have a commitment to being open about their deep feelings. I'm sure it was difficult but it must have felt beautifully intimate, too.
I dunno man depends on your perspective, as soon I heard this I sent it to my wife and we both had the same though, what a beautiful ballad to his wife. Sometimes the brutal honesty is more appealing than telling them or pretending it doesn't happen. I hope that makes sense hahah.
If anything she probably would've just felt even more loved by his admission that to "take lonely" is a genuine struggle. A struggle which he will endure over again because his wife is far more important to him than any cheap thrills. It's so humble and beautiful, I think she would be proud of him
I absolutely love the way Mr Minchin's mind works. Combined with his musical and poetry skills and we get superlative original works like this. We should put it to a vote: is Tim Minchin the best of humanity?
Sweet Jesus on a stick, Tim! You make me want to be a better person. Never cheated.... but felt real pain from saying no. Thanks for capturing that feeling brilliantly.
I've been on both sides of the fence at this point, and I highly doubt that I would ever cheat again, personally. Short story long, a girl I had loved but never dated confessed to me. At the time, I was with the love of my life, and she'd moved a thousand miles to be with me. I politely declined, and we kind of fell out of touch for a while. A few years go by and I end up dating this girl, and while we don't really "click," I clicked with her kid. Taught her to walk, her first word was dad, the works. Her bio dad was completely absent, so I was the only father this kid knew. And I always wanted a kid, and I wanted to be the dad this kid deserved even though I had no ties to her. I didn't feel like this at first, obviously, and it wasn't until after I made the worst mistake that I realized this. The girl came back into my life like a hurricane. She even ended up coming over and staying with my girlfriend and I for about a week, and that's when it happened. I'll be honest, I could tell my girlfriend was jealous from the second the girl walked through the door. The first night the girl was at our place, my girlfriend wouldn't go to sleep until I crawled in bed with her. My intentions were pure, but I have insomnia and didn't feel like laying in bed, so I crawled out of bed and went to get on my computer and hang out with the girl for a while. We talked for a few hours, never a moment of silence. It was always like that when we were around each other. Constantly talking over each other, never getting mad about the other person talking. We got used it, just taking turns when we can. We always clicked like that, just always had something to talk about. Eventually, we start talking about how she still loves me, and she was single right now, and she still wanted to be with me. I just told her I wasn't sure, let me think about it, etc. She tells me she'll help me decide, and proceeds to grab my face and kiss me. And like an idiot, I started kissing her back. Hands started wandering, clothes came off, and before I realized what had happened we were cuddling while naked. Over the course of the next week of her stay, it ended up happening two more times. I regretted it each time, but I'll be honest, I was extremely weak to her advances. My relationship wasn't great, and the time I'd spent talking to her was the happiest I'd been in months. I don't know if it was just my stupid male brain, or because I'm a bad guy or what, but I couldn't help myself around her. Especially with her coming on so strong. And I won't lie, it was actually some of the most intimate and passionate sex I've ever had. We didn't fuck a single time, we only ever made love, if you wanna be cliche(which I do.) I loved the girl, but I wanted to be there for the kid. I chose to stay with my girlfriend, and after the girl left, she didn't come back and I stopped talking to her(after telling her why, of course). I got my just deserts, though. My girlfriend did the same thing to me, except she also ghosted me for 2 weeks with various excuses, while she was staying at his place and planning to move in. She showed up at 4 AM with two of her friends to collect her things and broke up with my in front of our audience before she proceeded to leave. And you know what? It just wasn't worth it. Years later, I still feel every ounce of the guilt and the shame I felt then. When I look back, it's so obvious I should have just broke up with her and gotten with the girl. But hindsight is 20/20. I gotta live with the guilt, and the result of my actions. The girl got pregnant after I stayed with my girlfriend(ex now), and she said she didn't want to tear the family apart, so I'll probably never be with her now. My (ex)girlfriend is still dating the guy she cheated on me with. I was on-and-off with a few girls, but I've just settled into being alone at this point. So this song really hit home with me, personally. On multiple levels. On every level. Truly, it's beautiful work by Tim; perfectly distilled human emotion. Sorry for the long winded comment, I'm a D&D DM and go storyteller mode without realizing it.
@@DefensorsPacis when you look back at this time in your life, there is no need to be overwhelmed with guilt, because these mistakes change us, we learn from them, and this mistake has clearly made you a better person. You can't change what has happened in your past, but you can change whether or not you learn from those mistakes. Bad people aren't those who make mistakes, because we all do, but those who never take responsibility and realise that they have made a mistake in the first place.
@Brad Sanchez Yessir. Intended to be less graphic than just saying "we fucked," and also in part because it just didn't really feel like fucking. We were incredibly close. If I'd just followed my heart, I'd probably still have that. We've known each other for around a decade at this point, and we've loved each other for more than half of that. I don't believe in soul mates, but I will say that she was pretty close to perfect for me. Now, I haven't talked to her in nearly half a year, and it was just casual conversation then. Learn from my mistakes. If you're willing to cheat, the relationship is over already.
@@trybunt Cheers for that. One of my favorite quotes, something I try to live my life by, is: "If you can't recognize your mistakes as mistakes, then how can you possibly learn from them?" It also gave me some perspective on the idea that "once a cheater, always a cheater" is complete bullshit. People aren't just shades of black and white, we're all just grey. Not good, not bad, just human. Yeah, I won't make that mistake again. I also realized, I was effectively emotionally trapped. I felt like I couldn't leave my girlfriend, because I felt like it was my responsibility to keep her safe. And she told me, repeatedly, how much she hated her home life, and she'd say that she'd probably end up killing herself if she had to go back there. The same thing was true for my previous ex, the one I was with when the girl first confessed. I felt obligated to put their happiness before mine. But that ain't the point, huh? Both people gotta put something into a relationship to build or, or it's just gonna crumble from the weight. And with both of those girls, I was the only one trying to keep it intact. I knew well over a year before we broke up that I didn't want to be with them any more, but I couldn't bring myself to break up with them. I was more worried about keeping them happy than I was about making myself happy. Yeah, life's rough. I've come to terms with it at this point. I still feel the guilt, but it's multilayered. Guilty I did it, that I didn't break up with my gf, that I just shut the girl out of my life.. Guilty that I stayed in relationship I didn't want to. I wasted everyone's time.
I will never not like this song. This man! He restores my hope in men every time. Like, I will still joke and say I'm jealous of Sarah and that I'd happily be in a throuple with them, but I'm a traditional cat. It really is just the magnetism of normalcy in a world of crazy that makes me adore him. I cannot wait to be married to someone this dedicated to his vows and this willing to be honest about the challenges of that dedication. Phenomenal.
I wonder if it was deliberate or done subconsciously because of the subject matter of the song? Mind you, knowing what we know of Tim, I suspect it was deliberate.
It must be hard being your wife, while at the same time, so wonderful to have a husband so honest and vulnerable. Thank-you for sharing such a personal and all-to familiar story. So beaituful.
Pretty sure all wives, deep down, know that if given the chance with a legitimate beauty to "shag" for a night or two -- when they are 100% sure their wife would never find out -- most men would take it. Personally, I genuinely don't understand it. If you've chosen marriage, the whole point of it is to be devoted to one another ad infinitum. And while Tim is a bit older, he's certainly not "old." On the other hand, one of the largest shows in the last decade (total guess, never wasted time watching) was Desperate Housewives. Maybe Tim's wife is just as open with him as he with her. An older wealthy woman could easily have a "stud" in a heartbeat. Think this is about Tim, but incorporates all marriages. He's actually honest about it. The majority of the population, specifically those of whom cheat, are hypocrites to the nth degree. Lastly, while I suspect men cheat at a significantly higher rate than women... women cheat. A lot. It's not like Tim is writing Katie Perry songs. He wants it to be a deep expererience between he and his life partner, while sharing the art with all his fans -- and the rest of the world. Quite courageous, at least in the egotistical, pompous entertainment business, ha.
Tim ten years ago: Here's a bunch of witty, funny songs about both silly and serious stuff! Tim now: EXCUSE ME WHILE I TAKE YOUR HEART AND SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER HOPE YOU LIKED IT. Seriously, between this and Carry You, I've been (delightfully) broken more times by Tim's new stuff than I care to admit.
This is a love song that has never been written. More of the brilliance we've learned to expect from Minchin. As someone who has spent hundreds of nights in 3.5 star hotels on business trips over the years, tempted by the casual meeting in lobby bars, I believe he's captured the moment well. "I'd rather murder than hurt her" has sent many a businessman to his empty hotel room alone.
The touching of the wedding ring at 2:14 is such a great little detail that convey so much. I listened to the beautiful song many times but just cought this by watching the video. Thank you, Tim Minchin!
Heard you play this at your Perth gig before the world shut down. You Grew On me was my favourite of yours. After that night it became my second favourite. Beautiful song mate, its honesty is refreshing.
On a lighter note..Good grief...He’s brilliant..talented...a hard working genius with a wicked but intelligent sense of humour. In no particular order, a scholar, composer, activist, amazing lyricist, an incredible pianist, a singer with an incredible range, vocal power and timing, an hysterically entertaining comedian, a loyal, loving husband and father....and now here he is getting even *more* attractive with age, better bod than in his young twenties!! Not that he doesn’t it, but, cheese, it’s really an unfair number of gifts...
This is a love song for the ages. It perfectly encapsulates the many years I’ve spent on the road performing. This type of life takes its toll on both. Though, many don’t realise just how lonely a life on the road can be, especially when there is someone you love back home.
Isn't it incredible that we all live at the same time as such a talented person creates and performs, and even on the same planet? It just makes me feel safe, guys
This song is oddly beautiful. The idea of love and relationships being the result of choices and hard work is something that most music is sorely lacking. Thank you for this.
This is the video that WILL get me hit by a bus someday out on my walks. Pure Tim and more Tim and close-up Tim and good grief, I can't pull my eyes away. Down an open manhole I will go, but it'll be worth it.
Beautiful song - many of us have been there and the effort of will to say, 'Thank you, but no thank you' is sometimes more than we can manage at times. As a love song it is peerless and pregnant with both longing and relief... and integrity. I'm 74 now and I'll never experience this again... but it resonates with my experience from long, long ago. Thank you.
I was amused that one female newspaper writer in Australia, writing about Tim, said that every woman she knew had a serious crush on him. That is absolutely true, and it only increases the tremendous respect I have for him in declining "opportunities" in order to remain faithful to his life partner, his wife.
Doesn't matter how much I've listened to this song (which is now a lot) it still has the power to give me goosebumps. Such a beautiful and emotional song.
I heard this song in concert and was just blown away at how honest the lyrics were. Beautiful way to talk about real temptation that occurs and real choices made that reinforce real love. Blissfully lonely because it was the right choice. Amazing, Tim. I dont know how your wife listens to that without bawling (for the right reasons!)
Just got back from Manchester appolo to see tim and this video has done no justice, i was in tears from an artist that used to make me piss laughing, loved every moment
Man this somehow hit me harder the second time I listened to it.. So many layers... What a masterpiece. Dont think I've ever heard a song so brutally honest about this subject.
Hauntingly beautiful is the best way to describe this song. I think a lot of people who are married or committed with a SO, have gone through something like this, we are only human after all, I think it reminds people that don't just jump at the idea even if you are unhappy but take a step back, think about it and you will be thankful you did.
This is such a wonderful song. So heart breaking and yet full of joy at the same time. Thanks Tim, from those of us who have had to experience the pain of our partners that didn't choose the loneliness.
I think it takes a lot of guts to write a song like this. It's candid and honest, and it doesn't pull any punches just because those punches are directed at Tim Minchin himself.
Totally agree. There aren't many songs out there that talk about this subject. It's very confronting to listen to.
To be fair. Wouldnt expect anything less from Minchin.
Tim is amazing at writing these kinds of songs. I'd also say this is a far better love song than any of the "your the only one for me" bullshit. Seriously which is better;
"you're the only one for me" "I'm not interested in anyone else"
"I met someone, beautiful, witty, kind, wearing a stunning dress and asking me to spend the night with her while I was extremely lonely; yet I turned her down because it would have hurt you"
@@pioneer_1148 This is I think a big reason I don’t like modern music.
I always struggle to find a way to express why, when both 40s & Modern cover romance, I only like 40s
I suppose I’ve finally found my reason in your wording. Thanks friend
I wonder how Mrs. Minchin feels about this song.
Where it says boutique hotel it sounds like booty call hotel.
Monogamy has an anthem... Thank you
From a wife of a man who travels for work, this is the kind of love song I need.
Thanks Tim
"I'd rather murder than hurt her"
Such a brilliant line
Thanks Tim
Isn't it just.
That's when I started crying
To me that was the least relatable part, but that's what happens when you specifically call out a ranking of values rather than the actions and feelings.
Most irrationaly beautiful line
I can’t listen to this song without him thinking about his daughter as well. Is his daughter also included?
I don’t know ...but this gives me another different perspective and taste to this unique and profound song.
Thank you Tim!
The world's longest "sorry, I have a girlfriend" and how is it so good.
It's good because its tim minchin. I'm still waiting to see one thing hes released I didnt love.
probably the most truthful way of saying it
Wife*
Love of life, more than wife.
Brilliant 😅
Does anyone else find this breathtakingly honest? And I appreciate how much he respects the would-be-other woman. No attempt to shift the blame or paint her as a wicked temptress. So many men (and women) tempted to stray are quick to lay it all on the other person. Brilliant and more brilliant.
The first time I heard the song I was too worried it was going to go in that direction. As soon as I knew it didn't I re-listened and heard the lyrics properly and almost cried.
I couldn’t agree more. I’m weak in the wake of this work of art.
Yes I sure do I think he is one of a kind
Of course we do, that was the entire point of the song
I just can’t stop watching the video because it’s so much Tim and close-up Tim and dear Lord, what more do I need?
Wow. Amazing how you can be so serious and unserious at the same time.
Wow, it really does build... but that last tender stanza at the end is truly special. What a captivating performance by a hairy guy in a boat ❤
Wow Tim this is bloody genius!
Saw Tim perform this at Town Hall in NYC last night - and it was beautiful. What a stunning, honest song. He's truly brilliant.
I saw him perform it tonight (Monday)! I went to the DC concert on Saturday but my parents were able to get off from work so I came up today to see it again with them. He sand a different song Saturday and added this one in for NYC
“But my girl has my heart in a house half a planet away.”
My god, that punched my heart.
Ironically I live in florida and I met a woman from south africa. It's been 2 years we still are in love. Hopefully I can move her here soon. But we are separated by oceans and 12 k miles
A song about staying faithful and considering your partners feelings and NOT cheating. What a concept in 2020. You're a good egg Minchin.
Came here to say this. Soooo rare these days.
is it, though?
Oh come on people didn't get less faithful.
Sure there's more divorce which just means less toxic relationship.
Sure there's more small casual relationship but it just means the sexuality his freed.
I hate the "nowdays things are worse" mentality.
What exceptional about Tim Minchin is the attention given to the work of love.
@@mattcraftien974 You missed the point of what I was saying. Most pop music is about easy, 'cheap' love (attraction), casual sex and treating one another as objects as opposed to people. Here is a song about staying faithful while acknowledging that worldly and physical pleasures are a constant pressure and/or battle. Singing about how difficult it is to choose to stay faithful is rare. I think plenty of people are trying and 'nowadays' things are better when it comes to equitable relationships.
@@joshualogan84 Sorry I misread your comments.
It isn't easy to catch my attention let alone stir my appreciation. This is perhaps the most beautiful love song I have heard in the last 82 years, lovely, kind, respectful to all parties involved in the story, great visual at the finish of the video. Maturity is partially defined as the ability to hold ambiguity, especially emotionally, and this young man is quite able to do that. It is one key factor of all his work, which is also rich in form, structure, line, and color. Congratulations to Mr. Minchin on conceptualizing and producing such an exquisite song.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this comment.
This comment is almost as good as the song. :)
@@AJRM1981 Same, it's like seeing respect define respect.
This might be the best comment I've ever read. I hope Tim Minchin sees it!
Thank you for sharing. God bless
The people demanded more boat.
Tim delivered.
Paddywhack _: Nick Cave and Blixa Bargeld:
Hold our drinks
;^}
It’s a boat time
I'm not in the loop on this. What's the boat thing about?
@@OriginalPiMan From the description: "This video is dedicated to the many people who have always wanted me to sing a song in a suit in a boat."
It's not the "never thought about cheating", nor is it "yeah well but what's the big deal anyway if they did?"... it's conflicted, tempting, and painful, yet grateful, self-aware and sweet. It's not romantesized, it's... humane. And I love everything about it.
Tim, thank you for this gift... with everything you create, moving hearts and minds, I'm grateful to be able to experience it.
In a poetic way it kind of is romanticized, like he was tempted but he is so devoted he would rather worry about how his wife felt for all of her days over how he felt for a single one.
I love how honest this is. And neither insulting to the actual partner OR the woman who is tempting him, like in so many songs.
Probably the most honest love song ever - and not blaming the temptress for once.
Who could blame her for trying
NO. 1 in comedy music - and he still writes such beautiful songs.
I think if we had more brutally honest love songs like this, the world would be a much more beautiful place.
That line, "the devil should have offered him you" always gives me chills.
Beautiful as ever, Tim. I'll never get over just how fantastic a lyricist you are, I can only aspire.
Oh, you're here too? Hey man, love your work!
No wonder I like your music. Thanks for your work bud.
I'm not even surprised you're here. It feels right.
Wait your a fan of Tim as well that makes you more awesome
it's starting to seem like all of the musicians I like know each other... crazy
I am an old man with many regrets. I wish i had sung this song in the past.
But, wishing for my past to change is a path of soot and sorrow. Pointless.
I am glad someone is singing it today.
Thank you.
I get it though i'm much younger. My biggest hope for the future is always no one will to go through or do the things i've done
I always come back to this song. I've been apart from my husband many times, for long periods of time, including right now. But when this song came out, during the pandemic I was in my country and he was in his and for almost a year we couldn't see each other. We were apart for the whole year after I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I went through the treatment, lost my voice, so we couldn't talk for long. 2021 came along, we finally met again, got married and I'm still in remission.
Thank you for sharing that personal moment. Liposomal C ---- for good health
This is one of the best, most stunning songs Tim has ever written. And that says a lot.
Id agree except for white wine in the sunshine
@@thelyrebird1310 For sure, that's one of them as well.
Agreed. Deeply, deeply human.
anyone else think how hard it would have been for his wife to hear thisthe first time? i saw him perform this in Adelaide in march, and cried. it was so beautiful
From everything I know about Tim's relationship with Sarah, I suspect she was already aware that chicks started hitting on him after his career took off. She was the one who believed in him _before_ that success.
i was thinking about this, too! but i know a little bit about what it's like being a performer and dating performers, and it's not like it is with "normal" people. They're artists and they have a commitment to being open about their deep feelings. I'm sure it was difficult but it must have felt beautifully intimate, too.
I dunno man depends on your perspective, as soon I heard this I sent it to my wife and we both had the same though, what a beautiful ballad to his wife. Sometimes the brutal honesty is more appealing than telling them or pretending it doesn't happen. I hope that makes sense hahah.
If anything she probably would've just felt even more loved by his admission that to "take lonely" is a genuine struggle. A struggle which he will endure over again because his wife is far more important to him than any cheap thrills. It's so humble and beautiful, I think she would be proud of him
I cried too. Have been searching for this song ever since that night two years ago! So happy!!
Maybe... there is a possibility... that... Gingers have souls.
Just pullin' a leg! Love the song Tim.
I absolutely love the way Mr Minchin's mind works. Combined with his musical and poetry skills and we get superlative original works like this. We should put it to a vote: is Tim Minchin the best of humanity?
Sweet Jesus on a stick, Tim! You make me want to be a better person. Never cheated.... but felt real pain from saying no. Thanks for capturing that feeling brilliantly.
I've been on both sides of the fence at this point, and I highly doubt that I would ever cheat again, personally.
Short story long, a girl I had loved but never dated confessed to me. At the time, I was with the love of my life, and she'd moved a thousand miles to be with me. I politely declined, and we kind of fell out of touch for a while.
A few years go by and I end up dating this girl, and while we don't really "click," I clicked with her kid. Taught her to walk, her first word was dad, the works. Her bio dad was completely absent, so I was the only father this kid knew. And I always wanted a kid, and I wanted to be the dad this kid deserved even though I had no ties to her. I didn't feel like this at first, obviously, and it wasn't until after I made the worst mistake that I realized this.
The girl came back into my life like a hurricane. She even ended up coming over and staying with my girlfriend and I for about a week, and that's when it happened.
I'll be honest, I could tell my girlfriend was jealous from the second the girl walked through the door. The first night the girl was at our place, my girlfriend wouldn't go to sleep until I crawled in bed with her. My intentions were pure, but I have insomnia and didn't feel like laying in bed, so I crawled out of bed and went to get on my computer and hang out with the girl for a while.
We talked for a few hours, never a moment of silence. It was always like that when we were around each other. Constantly talking over each other, never getting mad about the other person talking. We got used it, just taking turns when we can. We always clicked like that, just always had something to talk about.
Eventually, we start talking about how she still loves me, and she was single right now, and she still wanted to be with me. I just told her I wasn't sure, let me think about it, etc. She tells me she'll help me decide, and proceeds to grab my face and kiss me. And like an idiot, I started kissing her back. Hands started wandering, clothes came off, and before I realized what had happened we were cuddling while naked.
Over the course of the next week of her stay, it ended up happening two more times. I regretted it each time, but I'll be honest, I was extremely weak to her advances. My relationship wasn't great, and the time I'd spent talking to her was the happiest I'd been in months. I don't know if it was just my stupid male brain, or because I'm a bad guy or what, but I couldn't help myself around her. Especially with her coming on so strong. And I won't lie, it was actually some of the most intimate and passionate sex I've ever had. We didn't fuck a single time, we only ever made love, if you wanna be cliche(which I do.)
I loved the girl, but I wanted to be there for the kid. I chose to stay with my girlfriend, and after the girl left, she didn't come back and I stopped talking to her(after telling her why, of course). I got my just deserts, though. My girlfriend did the same thing to me, except she also ghosted me for 2 weeks with various excuses, while she was staying at his place and planning to move in. She showed up at 4 AM with two of her friends to collect her things and broke up with my in front of our audience before she proceeded to leave.
And you know what? It just wasn't worth it. Years later, I still feel every ounce of the guilt and the shame I felt then. When I look back, it's so obvious I should have just broke up with her and gotten with the girl. But hindsight is 20/20. I gotta live with the guilt, and the result of my actions. The girl got pregnant after I stayed with my girlfriend(ex now), and she said she didn't want to tear the family apart, so I'll probably never be with her now. My (ex)girlfriend is still dating the guy she cheated on me with. I was on-and-off with a few girls, but I've just settled into being alone at this point. So this song really hit home with me, personally. On multiple levels. On every level. Truly, it's beautiful work by Tim; perfectly distilled human emotion.
Sorry for the long winded comment, I'm a D&D DM and go storyteller mode without realizing it.
@@DefensorsPacis I had a lot of fun reading your story and I mean this in the nicest way possible
@@DefensorsPacis when you look back at this time in your life, there is no need to be overwhelmed with guilt, because these mistakes change us, we learn from them, and this mistake has clearly made you a better person. You can't change what has happened in your past, but you can change whether or not you learn from those mistakes. Bad people aren't those who make mistakes, because we all do, but those who never take responsibility and realise that they have made a mistake in the first place.
@Brad Sanchez Yessir. Intended to be less graphic than just saying "we fucked," and also in part because it just didn't really feel like fucking. We were incredibly close.
If I'd just followed my heart, I'd probably still have that. We've known each other for around a decade at this point, and we've loved each other for more than half of that. I don't believe in soul mates, but I will say that she was pretty close to perfect for me.
Now, I haven't talked to her in nearly half a year, and it was just casual conversation then. Learn from my mistakes. If you're willing to cheat, the relationship is over already.
@@trybunt Cheers for that. One of my favorite quotes, something I try to live my life by, is:
"If you can't recognize your mistakes as mistakes, then how can you possibly learn from them?"
It also gave me some perspective on the idea that "once a cheater, always a cheater" is complete bullshit. People aren't just shades of black and white, we're all just grey. Not good, not bad, just human.
Yeah, I won't make that mistake again. I also realized, I was effectively emotionally trapped. I felt like I couldn't leave my girlfriend, because I felt like it was my responsibility to keep her safe. And she told me, repeatedly, how much she hated her home life, and she'd say that she'd probably end up killing herself if she had to go back there. The same thing was true for my previous ex, the one I was with when the girl first confessed. I felt obligated to put their happiness before mine.
But that ain't the point, huh? Both people gotta put something into a relationship to build or, or it's just gonna crumble from the weight. And with both of those girls, I was the only one trying to keep it intact.
I knew well over a year before we broke up that I didn't want to be with them any more, but I couldn't bring myself to break up with them. I was more worried about keeping them happy than I was about making myself happy.
Yeah, life's rough. I've come to terms with it at this point. I still feel the guilt, but it's multilayered. Guilty I did it, that I didn't break up with my gf, that I just shut the girl out of my life.. Guilty that I stayed in relationship I didn't want to. I wasted everyone's time.
Tim is one of those lovely humans that reminds you why not all humanity is a waste of oxygen
I will never not like this song. This man! He restores my hope in men every time. Like, I will still joke and say I'm jealous of Sarah and that I'd happily be in a throuple with them, but I'm a traditional cat. It really is just the magnetism of normalcy in a world of crazy that makes me adore him. I cannot wait to be married to someone this dedicated to his vows and this willing to be honest about the challenges of that dedication. Phenomenal.
Hamilton: Show me how to say no to this.
Tim Minchin: This masterpiece
I bloody love this song.. what a man x
Tim Minchin, the master of making people laugh and cry simultaneously through music
The end of this song, musically, is always underappreciated. Its SO GOOD ❤
I love the little touch of playing with his wedding ring at one point.
I wonder if it was deliberate or done subconsciously because of the subject matter of the song? Mind you, knowing what we know of Tim, I suspect it was deliberate.
this is a masterpiece.
from piece of a master
It must be hard being your wife, while at the same time, so wonderful to have a husband so honest and vulnerable. Thank-you for sharing such a personal and all-to familiar story. So beaituful.
Pretty sure all wives, deep down, know that if given the chance with a legitimate beauty to "shag" for a night or two -- when they are 100% sure their wife would never find out -- most men would take it. Personally, I genuinely don't understand it. If you've chosen marriage, the whole point of it is to be devoted to one another ad infinitum. And while Tim is a bit older, he's certainly not "old." On the other hand, one of the largest shows in the last decade (total guess, never wasted time watching) was Desperate Housewives. Maybe Tim's wife is just as open with him as he with her. An older wealthy woman could easily have a "stud" in a heartbeat. Think this is about Tim, but incorporates all marriages. He's actually honest about it. The majority of the population, specifically those of whom cheat, are hypocrites to the nth degree. Lastly, while I suspect men cheat at a significantly higher rate than women... women cheat. A lot. It's not like Tim is writing Katie Perry songs. He wants it to be a deep expererience between he and his life partner, while sharing the art with all his fans -- and the rest of the world. Quite courageous, at least in the egotistical, pompous entertainment business, ha.
As an entertainer and a smitten with my wife husband, this is my favorite love song now.
I love the line about Odysseus and the Devil tempting Jesus - that the Devil should have offered Jesus you. Very good lyrics. Amazing really.
Tim ten years ago: Here's a bunch of witty, funny songs about both silly and serious stuff!
Tim now: EXCUSE ME WHILE I TAKE YOUR HEART AND SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER HOPE YOU LIKED IT.
Seriously, between this and Carry You, I've been (delightfully) broken more times by Tim's new stuff than I care to admit.
fr i signed up for laughs not to be punched in the face with emotion
Check out "Apart Together" if you're up for another emotional gut punch
I tear up at White Wine in the Sun, and that's an older one. He's a genius who was too afraid to take himself seriously for a while.
You have taken the words right out of my mouth Noni Doll! Agree 100%
I love crying and laughing at the same time to "you grew on me"
This song is incredible. No one is perfect. Temptation is always real and you will have to fight it with something really special.
I couldn’t agree with you more
YES!
Damn. Now THATS my kind of rock and roll nerd.
Man. I wish someone felt like this for me. Even just a little.
Feel this way about yourself first, and it will come.
Keep your head up, your crown is tilting.
This is a love song that has never been written. More of the brilliance we've learned to expect from Minchin. As someone who has spent hundreds of nights in 3.5 star hotels on business trips over the years, tempted by the casual meeting in lobby bars, I believe he's captured the moment well. "I'd rather murder than hurt her" has sent many a businessman to his empty hotel room alone.
This may be the most beautifully perfect ode to commitment and fidelity ever written. It is simply magnificent. Thank you Tim
"God Dammit" Tim is truly a renaissance man, one of the best lyricists around and a lovely human being.
Well that was epic. No disappointment there.
Thank you.
The touching of the wedding ring at 2:14 is such a great little detail that convey so much. I listened to the beautiful song many times but just cought this by watching the video. Thank you, Tim Minchin!
when will Tim Burton give you a protagonist role in one of his movies?
Yesss! God that would be a great combo!
Maybe a musical
Not until Johnny Depp dies.
Ah but Tim and Depp together?? This is what dreams are made of...
i would watch that
Gorgeous, Candid, Touching. Perfect. ❤
Remember the specials when Tim Minchin said he feared his music lacked depth? Yeah, not convinced personally
Have you heard "Drowned"? Both versions are really nice.
He can have a dark side too
How can I like twice? And three times? And a million times?
Amazing Song...
Heard you play this at your Perth gig before the world shut down. You Grew On me was my favourite of yours. After that night it became my second favourite. Beautiful song mate, its honesty is refreshing.
Me too. I absolutely love Grew on Me but I’ve been playing this on repeat since the first video of this song came online.
On a lighter note..Good grief...He’s brilliant..talented...a hard working genius with a wicked but intelligent sense of humour. In no particular order, a scholar, composer, activist, amazing lyricist, an incredible pianist, a singer with an incredible range, vocal power and timing, an hysterically entertaining comedian, a loyal, loving husband and father....and now here he is getting even *more* attractive with age, better bod than in his young twenties!!
Not that he doesn’t it, but, cheese, it’s really an unfair number of gifts...
This is a love song for the ages.
It perfectly encapsulates the many years I’ve spent on the road performing.
This type of life takes its toll on both.
Though, many don’t realise just how lonely a life on the road can be, especially when there is someone you love back home.
Who the hell thumb-downs something as spectacular as this?!
Through Minchin's lyrics one can see what an intelligent, sensitive artist he truly is. I love Tim Minchin.
You Tube! Thank you for this series! Such a joy! I love this man and his music like so many others do!
Brutally, heartbreakingly, soul confrontingly honest. Beautiful.
That’s what I’m talking a-boat!!!
Isn't it incredible that we all live at the same time as such a talented person creates and performs, and even on the same planet?
It just makes me feel safe, guys
That was beautiful and very human.
This song is oddly beautiful. The idea of love and relationships being the result of choices and hard work is something that most music is sorely lacking. Thank you for this.
One of the best love songs ever written, sir.
The devil should have offered him you. Favorite part
Mine too ... Jesus had it easy peasy 😊
That verse is poetry. Tim is a wordsmith for the ages.
Me as well. Absolutely beautiful
Songwriters take notes, THIS is what a lyrical masterpiece sounds like!
What a guy ... his wife is one lucky woman and he is one amazing man and artist
I come back here often. Just for a moment.
Me too
Tim really developed his brooding potential with this masterpiece.
Another genius creation by a genius person
Its like that line from Colonel Potter in MASH. "Not while there's a girl back home with my picture on her piano."
Or when BJ describes how he only keeps going due to his connected by a lifeline to his wife and child
This is about as close as it gets to a perfect song. Amazing.
I like this new version of Tim.
He always comes across a honest AF, and I love that.
Wow. This is how I have felt about my marriage for 54 years. Love it!
This is the video that WILL get me hit by a bus someday out on my walks. Pure Tim and more Tim and close-up Tim and good grief, I can't pull my eyes away. Down an open manhole I will go, but it'll be worth it.
Love how even adrift at sea, Tim still refuses to wear shoes.
I saw this live. So moving
Jesus, Tim. That one ripped my heart out. I'm bawling.
Beautiful song - many of us have been there and the effort of will to say, 'Thank you, but no thank you' is sometimes more than we can manage at times. As a love song it is peerless and pregnant with both longing and relief... and integrity. I'm 74 now and I'll never experience this again... but it resonates with my experience from long, long ago. Thank you.
How can people dislike this?
Just cause he makes comedy, doesn’t mean that’s all he should do. It’s called layers, most people have lots.
I've had a massive crush on Tim for years. Sarah is a lucky woman.
I was amused that one female newspaper writer in Australia, writing about Tim, said that every woman she knew had a serious crush on him. That is absolutely true, and it only increases the tremendous respect I have for him in declining "opportunities" in order to remain faithful to his life partner, his wife.
One of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard. Something your wife can treasure forever. Absolutely stunning
Almost brings me to tears every time I hear it. I've been there and know exactly what he's talking about.
Doesn't matter how much I've listened to this song (which is now a lot) it still has the power to give me goosebumps. Such a beautiful and emotional song.
Truly Exceptional,
Thanks Tim!
I heard this song in concert and was just blown away at how honest the lyrics were. Beautiful way to talk about real temptation that occurs and real choices made that reinforce real love. Blissfully lonely because it was the right choice. Amazing, Tim. I dont know how your wife listens to that without bawling (for the right reasons!)
Just got back from Manchester appolo to see tim and this video has done no justice, i was in tears from an artist that used to make me piss laughing, loved every moment
try. i have watched you for years, owned your DVD's you never disappoint. true legend of the creative arts and music industry love you man.
I honestly don't think I'm telling tales out of school when I say that you are one of the greatest musicians of all time.
Man this somehow hit me harder the second time I listened to it.. So many layers... What a masterpiece. Dont think I've ever heard a song so brutally honest about this subject.
This man is an actual genius, I love how honest he is in his music, this is beautifully done
Hauntingly beautiful is the best way to describe this song. I think a lot of people who are married or committed with a SO, have gone through something like this, we are only human after all, I think it reminds people that don't just jump at the idea even if you are unhappy but take a step back, think about it and you will be thankful you did.
Brrr... shivers and throat punch.
One of the best love songs I have ever heard.
This is beautiful.
This is such a wonderful song. So heart breaking and yet full of joy at the same time.
Thanks Tim, from those of us who have had to experience the pain of our partners that didn't choose the loneliness.
This is one of the most beautiful songs ever written.
Bare foot wearing a suit in a boat💟.... Goosebumps.....Tim Minchin is simply amazing and so talented. Admiration a plenty
About time we got Tim in a suit in a boat!