Ua Lub Neej Txaj Muag~07/25/2024~
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Hmong Audio Story(Drama) original content created by this channel - Mab Vaj Channel. Please do not copy this to any other channel without my permission.
Story description: In the Hmong culture same last name is considered taboo when it comes to marriage.
If you have feelings and know how to be ashamed and embarrassed why did you two do it??? This is your own doing. What others think shouldn't concern you if you didn't care about any of this. Now you do? Too late.
same last name marriage without any blood related is still better then marrying your cousin. phauj nxthais yuav dab laug tub or vice versa is blood related. so even though you have the same last name but no blood related then it should be ok
LMFAO...marrying your own last name being cousin. Brother, you live in America. There are lots of cases where cousins marry cousins. It's no difference than you marrying your aunt daughter. So what's the big deal marrying the same last name?
Do not give a F about what other's think or their opinions. Long as you're happy after all it is your life. Continued to be happy and love those who love you.
I mean, back in the days hmong people were allowed to marry same last name, but then all of a sudden a recognized leader said no to that, but yes to multiple wives... whatever benefited them at the time.
I feel sorry for them. It’s all in their heads. It’s the guilts that is eating them from the inside out.
Nothing wrong with dating your last name brother as long as yall not related. Life is too short to care about people's opinion. Go to church and forget about small minded people.
I feel bad for the kids only. They're the ones who have to pay the consequences. It's unbelievable it took you 30 plus years to realize it actually hurts.
You can choose to do whatever you want (marry same last name) but others have a right to feel however they feel too. Accept the consequences of your actions.
At the end of the day, as long as you’re happy. Believe it or not, it’s more common now.
It’s ok to marry your own last name better than first cousin.
Maybe you guys do not love each other like you guys think? Or maybe your love is not strong enough to overcome all the obstacles? You guys let your fears get to you from what I hear from your stories. Ya scared of death (funeral arrangements). Ya are embarrassed because no one wants to date your kids (marry into the family). You guys let people get into your mind (how they think and view you). Regardless of marrying same last name or not, people is gonna find ways to talk, spread rumors, complain about your children dating others, death arrangements, etc. Its just based on how strong is your love for one another. I'm just glad that the both of you guys are happy now.
It's hard but you 2 love each this long already. Stay strong and love each other that's all it matters
You two gave up the fight too ez. I will break it down how I see it.
1. Before General Vangpao, same last name marriage was ok!
2. To those OG who don't agree on same last name marriage, stay where you are but please show support for your kids. Better than let them go hang themselves because you afraid of losing face.
3. As a couple, you two needs to show the world that same last name marriage is not shameful. You two need to do more and beyond. Don't be lazy. Every event you two need to show up and help out from dust to dawn. Don't live a closed door life. Be a roll model and prove them wrong that same last name marriage is not bad.
Lastly, my next door neighbor is also Hmong and they are Xiong married to Xiong. I don't see it as a shameful thing. As long as they love each other then that's all it matters. He invited me to drink with him here and there. And I did the same. Remove those people who give you negativity. Life is too short to be negatively towards others or even your own life. Don't be shameful to what you have instead be happy. Good luck with your life and new wife.
One question, why even start ?
After all that you two just gave up 🤦♂️.
Marrying your first cousin is worst than marrying your own last name that has no blood relation. Don’t feel bad. Live your own happy life.
Very interesting and different story. I'm glad that you both came to a realization of our culture. Wishing you both the best.
To the young generation out there we know it the new century ya can do what ya want and married who ya want but will ya really want live whole life with the consequences.. just like this story and plus with social media these day you can’t hide from anything 😂
U guys didnt do a wedding, so dont expect people to call u their son-in-law or bro-in-law. And for ur kids, it would be best they date outside race to prevent heart breaks. Since u love ur wife very much, dont ever be ashame of u both last name. Live proudly and happily. U both knew from the beginning and u both chosen this lonely path…so dont complain when people dont want to be around u guys. Bro, we live in America now. Go get ur wife. If u both love each other, u both can be there for each other. Dont depend on others to help u. Friends, relatives, etc has their own lives too. If something goes wrong with u, most of the time, ur spouse is the one who will be there for u. What a waste of life…Stop caring about what other people say about u guys. Sadly, u had made ur choice. As long u guys are happy is fine.
In a time where so many are in support of gay/lesbian marriage and encourages the idea that boys can be girls and girls can be boys, marrying an unrelated person with the same last name should not be a problem at all.
You do sacrifice a lot. Everything that you know of and proud to be falls around you. Hope you all heal
Niag tub dev thiab ntxhais dev!!
How can you fall in love with someone with the same last name as yours. No matter how much you like that person you got to stop communicating with him or her.
Great story and the first of its kind. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world after your experience.
As long as you two love each other that is what's most important. It will be tough on your kids because the stigma is still here, sorta, but I do see it starting to change. If their lover truly loves them nothing can stop them. People always have something to say regardless. Even having a divorced parent people deny. Nothing will satisfy people knowing nothing is perfect.
You guys didn't love each other enough to fight it through. I know many other couples who are of same last name and they're in their 60s still happy.
Kuv muaj family member they're married same last name and everyone loves them. They have been married for almost 30 years and have beautiful kids, good paying jobs and everyone loves them. Neb tsis sob hlub tiag tiag. Neb tsis rau siab ntso khwv Kom luag vam yus luag thiaj li tsis tib nawb mog. Neb txaj muag neb xwb. Neb txaj txaj muag ces lawv txaj muag rau neb xwb. Kuv pom cov twb tsis txaj muag cas lawv nyob kaj siab lug muaj phoojywg coob coob yeej tsis txhawj dabtsi li as.
Tsis yog before vang pov hais es sawv daws yeej Kam Lee's txais ok but yeej ib txwm yuav tsis tau ib lub xeem tiam sis vim muaj ib cov liam2 es nais poo vaj pov thiaj tswj ntxiv xwb kom sawv daws tau taub li nonawj
Same surname marriage has been a known issue among most East Asians and Hmong happens to be in the same boat. As traditions, it brings shame and embarrassment to both families. However, in China and Korea, there has been a law that have passed that as long as there are no bloodline within their relatives, then it is fine for same surname marriage. I think the time has changed and it should be fine. But that does not mean that you can take advantage of this and start dating your immediate sisters, mothers status, and worst of all the grandmothers, neices, granddaughters status. It can be very disgusting, although it feels right for both of you. Plus, becuase our Hmong community is still very small compare to other ethnic, and if it is not true love, then it is best not to even date your own same last name to avoid all this.
Example surnames: Vang, Wang, Wong, Huang, Vuong, Va, Vong, Fang, etc are all the same family tree although we may be considered a different ethnic due to centuries of isolations and segregations.
Some Hmong cultural practices are so ignorant. Marrying the same last name with no blood line is 1000 times better than marrying your first blood cousins with different last names.
vaj tswv thiaj txais cov poj nrauj yuav mus poj nplas yawm nplas thiab cov tsi muaj kwv tij xwb
How embarrassing it’s both your faults! Why are you embarrassed now when you loved each other so much? Sad you caused your children to get bully and they have to date other race.
Very good story.
While sharing the same surname before marriage isn't typical in most cultures, there's no inherent problem with marrying someone who happens to have the same last name, as long as you're not closely related. I fully support your decision.
This is the consequences you have to deal with it
For those of you who chose to marry your own last name please listen to this story
Welcome to the New Generation and onward....
Hmong people will look down on same last name even though they may not be biologically related in any ways, but will encourage marrying first cousins like Aunt's son/daughter to the Aunt's biological brother's son/daughter, vise versa lol
Peb hmoob cov liam liam mus church tag lawm nawb lawv aw...
Old Hmong people be weird! Cant marry a person with the same last name that has no blood relations but can marry your first cousin with a different last name . 🤣
Wow. I always wanted to hear this story. Thanks
I think I know/see this couple stories 😊
Tabooing - it's only for the bold people who don't care what everyone thinks and value love connection. In your case, you value others people's opinions and presence in your life. Imagine if you went along with your mom's decision in the first place, you would of ended with a wondering heart.
You have to be proud of what you choose/have chosen. But you failed in the end because you cared too much about what anyone else thoughts.
There’s nothing taboo about marrying a stranger that happens to be same last name. Hmoob peeps marry first blood related cousins for crazy sakes. That should be what’s called taboo!
Cant marry same last name but can marry blood cousin with different last name lol
Cov tub ntxhais ntse ntse hla hlo tej niam tej txiv es yus hais tias yus ib leeg los yus tsis care leej twg no ces zoo li no lau. Yus niam yus txiv hais tsis tau yus ces cia yus cov yus yug mam li qhia yus li ko. Nkim tag ib tiam ua neej nkim pov tseg tsis muaj qab hau tej me nyuam nyias mus nyias tag yam tu siab nrho.
Txhob txaj muag os,cav cuag khej twb muab lawv cov mes nyuam los sib yuav thiab os,tij laug cov mes nyuam los yuav kwv cos mes nyuam thiab os 😊
Kuv mloog xwb twb pab neb xu siab txaj muag dhau lawm os qhov lawv hu neb ces poob tsej muag dhau lawm os .kuv los kuv yeej g hu ib yam os
You are free to make decisions for you, but you’re not free to face the consequences.
Whatever make u happy
Same last name is fine. As long as it's not within your family/1st, and 2nd cousins. It's totally fine!
I have family members who are married/together with same last names. We do not judge.
Thaub qhia koj cov tub cov ntxhais kom lawv rov sib yuav xwb mog....txhob mus yuav cov sab nrauv. ...
All the same last name marriages I know of end up in divorce. They all can't live with the shame as they mature.
At least you both aren't siblings, 1/2 siblings or 1st cousins. I don't have an issue with same last name as long as you're not closely related. Hmong people...🙄
Ib xeem sib yuav tsi tau vim yuav ua lub neej zoo li koj zaj dab neeg yog ho sib hlub dhau lawm es yuav sib yuav xwb tom qab sib yuav tas yuav mus ua lub neej kom deb hmoob thiaj tsi txaj muag
Hmong people are very judgmental still. They're ok with arranged marriages to first cousins but not okay with same last name even though you're not related.
Abraham thiab Sarah nkawd los yeej yog nus muag thiab os
Not that I agree with having relations with someone who is of the same clan, but I think it is better than those who marry their first cousins. Someone who is of your last name, but their bloodlines and genes have been diluted from yours from multiple generations is the lesser of two evils than someone who is your aunt/uncle's kid, but yet the latter is not a taboo!!!
Its fine that you chose your own path. But dont blame others how they treat you bc of how you chose ur path. Your parents tried to stop you for your own good only bc they saw the future already. But you guys chose each other so you should have stayed together.
😂😂nus muag sib yuav hmoob tiam tshiab👍
Koj yog ib tus txiv neej Tim koj tsis coj cai thaum kuv hluas ntxhais nkauj ntsuab kiag twb vwm pub kuv tab hi yog kuv lub xeem kuv twb tsis kam tham nawb vim PEB hmoob txoj cai yeej zoo li ntaw
This day and age no one cares unless you marry your own mother, father, brother or sister. If you love each other than just support each other and love your kids. Other races marry same last name too.
Neb ob tug ko liam tas tas.
Ua tsaug rau koj zaj dab neeg os. Please don't be so selfish to think of you only. Think of how that will affect your families and kids. Peb hmoob yeej muaj lub xeem los ua tshoob ua kos es peb thiaj tsis pub xeem yuav xeem.
It’s so unfortunate that you two allowed other peoples opinions dictate your relationship and your entire lives. Hmong people are so backwards. They will allow siblings children to marry each other but not allow two people with the same last name who are not even related get married. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 makes no sense. You should have just listened to your hearts but i understand what the community did to you both. They made you feel like outcasts. They were wrong.
Tej zaum koj txiag koj muam zoo nyob duas es koj thiaj yuav pob thaum koj paub ce ib nyuam lig zoget lawm
Before General Vang Pao..the only Hmong that married with the same last name were the Vangs/Vajs. They separated into two clans, "Vaj Loj" and "Vaj Me" so that they can marry. There are many stories about this. General Vang Pao put a top to this. He said if he found out any Vaj married each, he would haven them killed.
It just hmong back ,than I feel like even the same last name if ya don't share the same grandpa and grandma or great grandparents it shouldn't matter. Cause back than hmong make village with the same family so they used that verse to keep there kids from dating. But now it's different.
This is such ashamed story and its not worth telling because if our children listen to it they might think it's ok because they did it. Even now they regret but other will still think that they did it and our children in now society will want to try too. Please i think story like this set a bad life example for other to hear it. Anyways theirs parents told them but they still did it. This brother shouldn't blame lub ntuj because it's him.
Peb nyob tebchaws vam meej nyob rau nom tswv txoj caiv tsua tsis yog peb tsev neeg ces peb muaj caiv yuav tau. Tsis Care txog hmoob kev caiv ua expire. Vim tseem qhia neeg tshaj xwb li cousin rov sib yuav tau. Ib xeem los yog niag hmoob xwb. Yuav yeej tsis ntxaum. Tim hmoob pheej siv tej niag kev caiv ua expire tag. Es pheej mus siv kev caiv 1900 rau 2000. Peb tsis nyob rau tiam 1900
You guys already knew how your life is going to be like marrying your own. If I was your wife, I will not have the face to go anywhere.
Tus txiv neej yawg yug los ntawm niam txiv Hmoob tab sis nws lub siab yog tsiaj txhu lub li koj no kuj tsis yog koj tib leeg nkaus xwb. Hom txiv neej yawg li koj rov yuav koj xeem li no yeej tsis vam meej rau nws tus kheej txuam mus rau lwm nkawm niam txiv li.
Peb hmoob yeej coj li mas
Tab si ntawm peb teb chaws no twb muaj tej tug nws rov yuav nws xeem tab si twb tsis muaj teeb meem npaum koj hais ko as nkawv twb ua nkawv neej los laus li no thiab
Vim cov laus muab foom tseg lawm yog koj ua ces kawg txaj muag.
I can’t date my last name, I feel like I’m kissing my brother and or cousins!!
My girl; 1st cousin didn’t tell me that their friend was a Yang and then he took me out & later on I found out he was a Yang because we met at my 1st cousin bday party & my girl cousin bf got drunk & that guy was his friend and my cousin had to take her bf home so we didn’t even ask until the next day he called me to go out to the movies & he told me; like I’m Yang & I was like NOPE!! 😢😮❤
If it takes a million years to find one! Be patient!! If it’s my Yang cousin, it’s still a NO!! 😢😮❤🎉
Yang guys always want to ask me out, sorry; no!! If I date my Yang brothers, cousins or Random Yang; I rather date a white man!! 😂
Don’t even feel bad tho, even I’m not dating or with the same last name people still rude and cruel!! People are still mean asf!
Rau qhov peb yug los ua neej yeej yuav tsum muaj kwv tij sib saib, sib nyuas, sib hlub, thiab sib txhawb, ib leeg pab ib leeg, tsis yog tias yus thiab nws xwb. Yog li txhua tus yuav tsum xav kom zoo. Thiab nyob ntiaj teb no yeej muaj qhov yog thiab tsis yog es peb yuav tsum xyaum ua qhov yog thiab nyob tau nrog txhua tus. Nrog neb tu siab os nawb txawm li cas los cia ua kev kawg mog tus brother.
A fully man or matured man should be able to know and control what is right and wrong with the tradition or culture or even religion. And must be able to distinguish between things say social life, love, and religion, etc. In this case LOVE win everything, but not last forever. If one of the two knew that what they did was wrong traditionally or culturally that person should not make the first move or taking the very first step. Too bad for them and good luck as they have to restart their lives over from the bottom of the ocean.
Nice story…!!! Hope it’s true…!!! Lol
I’m sorry that you guys live your life base of other people’s opinions. I wish you guys would had push that to the side and love each there until the end.
Thaub aw nyob hauv lub qab ntuj no loj li loj dav li dav es niam tsis muaj iiiiib tug koj nyiam ces ntshe kab nteg qe tsis tau txoj xwb os.
Paub tsis tau lau.
Is ok is life you give what God gaves you bro. Even if there is a stress, keep yourself up high. When everybody dies, there is no heaven. It is just a dark hole, life don't lead you to the futures . What paper you bring to this world is what it is. Go out and enjoy your life
Rhuav plu dhau
I am speechless, UA LI CAS NEB TWB TSIS K THAUM PIB CEM TXHOB K KOM TAG NEB TIAM LOS MAS
CAS HO TSIS FIGHT ZOO LI THAUM NEB TSIS K COV LAUS MAS?
COV LAUS NTUAS YUS VIM LUAG POM DEB, NOJ NTAU DIAV MOV LAWV PAUB TSHAJ.
The problem with your case is that you didn’t stand by your decision. You were not strong enough to live outside of the norm.
Niam tais yawm txiv yuav ua li cas tuaj na... lawv twb tsis pom qab muab ntsej muag ntsaws qhov twg li os....xyov yuav muab ntsej muag ntsaws 2 ceg lo xyov yuav muab ntsej muag ntsaws qhov quav ne....neb muab dev daim tawv looj ntsej muag ces neb tsis txaj muag lawm..
😢twb muaj me nyuam tag lawm nes yuav ua nyuaj rau tej me nyuam qhov tseem ceeb yog me nyuam xwb
Don’t feel bad, tiam tsiab lawm tsi ua cas. Muab hais los phauj ntxhais dab Laug tub haj yam ze cov laus twb tso sib yuav mas. Mus nyob nrog miskas xb mas tej ko meskas tsi maid.
Yog kawg peb twb muaj ib tus niag tub ua zoo lis neb ua kos thiab peb twb tsi ua tshoob txog niaj hnub no thiab peb los txajtxaj muag ua tshoob ho niag nyab nws niamtxiv lawv los lawv txaj txaj muag ua tshoob thiab ce peb cialis kav liam tsi ua tshoob lis tiag niam no ce nkawd twb muaj 4 tus me nyuam lawm thiab lawv twb tiav nkauj tiav nraug tas lawm ce nkawd txajtxaj muag ce nkawd cialis sib tso tas lawm thiab tiag.
Zaj no ua rau sawv daws kawm. Txhob xyaum nawb. Peb hmoob lub xeem tseem heev.
Question for those who are Shaman. Is it ok to taboo and bring the wife into your family without disturbing/ disrespecting your shrine?
Please hmong people, do not marry the last name....please do not marry your first cousins...please do not marry any family members same last name or not....please do not marry them.....
Neb twb musb tawv dev los looj neb lawm es neb niam paub txaj muag thiab os....kav tsij ua kiag li dev tsis paub txaj muag li lawm hos.
For ALL of you who said it's ok to date and marry your own last name...why don't you ask David YANG and Gloria YANG why they DIDN'T last.....may have gone the same ditection as this story.
Neeg lwj neeg liam ces yog koj ntag hos.
I know people who are married and their parents or grandparents are related and they don’t call the wife nyab or the husband vauv. It’s worse than your situation. Y’all aren’t even blood related like a lot of the older people who got married to their aunts’ and uncles’ kids. First and second cousins got married all the time back in the old days because they wanted to keep it in the family. Don’t take it personally and keep living your lives.
Peb hmoob ces txawm yog phauj thiab dab laug tub ntxhais the same blood tab sis peb hmoob ces tsuav tsis yog ib lub xeem ces yeej tsis muaj teeb meem, tab sis yog ib lub xeem ces hmoob yeej tsis pub sib yuav vim zoo li ib tug niamib tug txiv yug xwb tsis yog lawv ntxub los yog tsis nyiam neb tab sis lawv txaj txaj muag xwb. Txij li kuv tuaj nyob teb chaws America no tau 50 xyoo n, kuv tsis hais lwm tus lauv kuv tsuas hais txog ntawm kuv xwb kuv yeej tsis tau pom dua ib tug neeg yog lwm haiv neeg yog ib lub last name sib yuav li thiab tsis paub tias yog lawv muaj chaw txwv li peb hmoob los yog yus tsis tau pom thiab paub xwb.
Why be embarrassed if that is your choice? Stand firm and don't give a damn. She better be a 8.5-10 though. If you marry your own last name and she's anything lower then a 8.5. That would be embarrassing. 😅 like, why...
Yog koj tseem yoh hmong ces thov respect hmong kev cai ib xeem siv yuav tsis tau
You n your wife gave up the fight....smh. Before, General Vang Pao....it was ok. Should of prove to people that it was still ok. Just venting, not meant to bust anybody's bubbles
Tsis tag txaj muag os tus nus aw. Koj muab xav tias ib xeem xwb twb tsis koom roj ntshav. Cov yog muam yug nus yug koom roj nshav sib yuav twb tsis txaj muag na. Muam yug nus yug haj yam yog muag nus os.
Maybe you both last life were a girl friend and boyfriend and you both didn’t marry. So you both asked for reborn again and you two too scared to be born in different Xeem , cause if you born in different Xeem you both may not marry again in this life that is why you both are sharing the same Xeem and end up getting married for your happiness but sadly ending
Hey...guy tell your son marry your daughter do not marry someone out side...