The Relationship That Won't Die
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- We all engage in wishful thinking, to some degree. Even when the evidence points to the answer being no, we find some sliver of hope that it can become a yes. Nowhere is this more evident than in dating. In this Love U Podcast, I share a story about my tortured "When Harry Met Sally" relationship that took up nearly two decades, and give you the courage to cut loose men who, despite your feelings, don't make for healthy long-term partners.
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It's not really "The Relationship That Won't Die." It's "The Relationship That Never Really Starts." If you have to climb Mt. Everest to get things off the ground or to get things to gel or become serious, it's not your person.
Fair point
Its tough. I once dated a woman who I connected with on a conversational level more than anyone I had ever met in my life. Me and her just clicked; could talk nonstop for days and never run out of things to say to each other and it was enjoyable conversation for both us. We just understood each other. Sadly- we had different values. But it was hard to let that go. It went on much longer than it should have. But it certainly made me realize there is so much more to it than connection, feelings, and emotion. Which is unfortunate but its reality. She was super religious. I wasn't.
I've been in similar situations with two otherwise awesome relationships, but they each wanted children, and I did not.
Connection is a wonderful feeling but you also have to have the same long-term vision or it's doomed from the start
Well said 👏
My man!
Golden advice!!!
I think a big reason why some people (including men) stay in a relationship they shouldn't be in beyond a certain point is that the dating world (especially here in LA and especially for those of us past 50) has become extremely toxic, far more than i recall it being 25 years ago. People get friend zoned and or ghosted after even a seemingly pleasant first date, or even ghosted after initially contacting someone/giving out their number to someone. People often have baggage (especially at a certain age) that limits their marketability/options. And a lot of people resort to hypergamy. So when these people finally find someone they do like in a lot of ways and who returns their interest, which then develops into a monogamous and consistent relationship, it can be difficult to let go of that relationship despite it's flaws and lack of an idealistic future. You lucked out and found a great partner many years ago. But you're the exception, sadly
Yeah, the people who have been in relationships for 10+ or even 5+ years simply don't understand how horrible the modern dating market is and give out dated advice.
ALso-as proof. I gave up a relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere. But here I sit 3 years later and haven't had a single date with a woman. So I probably should have just stayed in it. Better than nothing.
@@delawarehistory1675 unless it was a toxic relationship. In that case, I think back to a sound tip I heard years ago..... "The only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were alone."
@@delawarehistory1675 I may not have dated for 17 years, but since I listen to women for a living, I think I have my finger on the pulse of how bad it is out there.
@@evanmarckatz But its only bad for men. A woman could make an online dating profile right now and easily have 500 likes by the end of the week. Messages. And dates. As a man, I'd be lucky to get 1-2 likes a month, no messages, no dates. So if you are a coach advising women, they might have problems, but its absolutely not lack of options. Women rule the dating market. They have unlimited options and opportunity. Unless a guy is in the top 5% of men, he is essentially invisible.