A "stay-at-home girlfriend" is an unemployed woman. But with the way its branded, you'd think it was something really special and worthy of its own title. Always have your own, no matter what. The only women that can play SAHG without (many) consequences are the ones who come from money and/or are already independently wealthy. And those tend to be the women selling this fantasy to women who literally AND figuratively cannot afford to do that.
"Help the next woman" is such an important message. It's easy (too easy) for some of us to get on our high horses (I'm not pointing fingers, I've been guilty of it in the past, too) and act like other women who get taken advantage of/misled are just flatly stupid. But then you realize: its all part of the patriarchy's plan. Keeping women ignorant, overly trusting, afraid to ask questions, and dependent on men is not a BUG, it is a FEATURE. It's not a design flaw, it's part of the design. I'm glad we can be here to pay our wisdom forward, share strategies and commiserate with one another.
yesssss, exactly!!!!! Much love to all my sisters round the world, reading this- let's support and be each others friend and stand wise and strong against schemes and tricks of patriarchy scam-machine!
Thank you for saying this. Some of us are really out here learning as we go and stumbling along. We’re doing the best we can with what we have which unfortunately isn’t a lot. And I’m not necessarily talking money, I’m talking wisdom, experience, etc.
💯- women who come in spouting “it could never be me” don’t realize that’s EXACTLY what a potential predator wants you to think. Cause your shame if/when it happens to you will keep you silent and in their grasp.
Talk about some of us younger women who think we know it all, think older women are jealous of us because we hold onto what men say about them, and those of us who feel we must learn from our own mistakes instead of using other women as cautionary tales. At the end of the day most women are arrogant and can't be told anything because they have the mindset that whatever happened to the next woman can't happen to them because they're so much better.
SAHGF is ridiculous. Someone houses you, feeds you and clothes you in exchange for you cooking, cleaning and xing. It’s almost impossible to break free (because you have no resources of your own). That sounds like putting yourself into slavery. At least if you are married you have some small legal protections (depending on country) like a split of assets and/or alimony that can help you a bit (although women often end up homeless and unemployable after a divorce).
6:39 Bless her heart 😞, I wish so much that she hadn't invited him to her new apartment but I understand wanting so much to see someone you think you love change for the better. It takes experiencing something like this to learn that folks only change when *they* are ready to and rarely do it for someone else. It's a hard lesson to learn, but I'm just glad she's alive and thriving and that she got this lesson early in life so that she'll know what to look for and when to leave in the future.
What’s crazy to me is that many women are out here with full power of finance over the the man they live with. It’s common for women to be breadwinners now and take care of the household on every level- and these males will STILL have power over the women. Still!
7:35 this girls eyes are open, and her mind is focused! She wants to teach other young ladies about her experience and warn them of the danger! She's gonna be alright!
Let’s stop romanticizing SAHGF lifestyle. No man will take care of you ladies. The SAHGF is for wealthy women from generational wealth. You are better off taking care of yourself and if in a relationship always have money he doesn’t know about and doesn’t have access to.. always look out for yourself ladies. Put your peace first ❤ Happy she made it out alive ❤
They’ll take care of you but it’ll come at a price. SAHGF more often than not is financially ab*sive but most won’t notice until they try to gain independence or leave altogether
@@TheePrincessBratyeah and submissive women actually do not mix well with dominant or overly masculine men that's one thing I noticed there in denial about because usually the women that want men to be the dominant ones are also dominant women and more aggressive about getting other women to settle i've read enough history books to know that modern men are terrible providers they weren't condition that way they want a submissive good wife while they spin the block and do a bunch of terrible things to people it's so weird and such a turn off to submissive women. We want our peace protected and we also need these people to stop sabatoging our careers just because we look like we would make a good mother or wife they try to define this as a woman only purpose in life when it's not some of us can't have them and we can't force our bodies to make them. They need to adopt some of the children we have on their planet now if raising kids is so important to them. That's how you know that it's not because there always worried about our clocks and they pretend like men don't have one too. They get off to seeing women go through pain and financial abuse that's the only reason they want them to make kids. Nothing is ever there fault if you noticed even if they killed your loved ones this would never happen if women did these things to men we would go extinct.
This might be an unpopular opinion but no woman should agree to be a stay at home girlfriend regardless of financial backing. No legal marriage offers no legal protections for you or any children born of that union.
She is amazing young woman…she learned real quick and made it OUT alive and is such a good hearted SISTER she shared her message! All of the best to her for her entire life. #StrongWomen♥️🎵
Nobody warned me either. No judgement, only admiration for a human being who fought her way out of a d3adly trap. Think of the generations of women who had no job, no education and no recourse like we did. We are never going back.
Good for her! And thank you for sharing, OP and Burb. I'm glad she figured it out as a young woman, sometimes women put up with this for decades and are afraid to get out or can't. My heart goes out to them all
I'm glad this young woman made out alive, and with ability to work without being tied down with a kid. I truly hope she learned from this. Many women recognize the red flags buy choose to ignore.
I didn’t find any major mistakes tbh. She saw an opportunity to upgrade her career path and took it. It worked out for her. She just made some minor mistakes along the way. Don’t we all?
These cautionary tales are so important. I'm so glad OP was able to get out and rebuild herself. She was working with her little dating experience at the time, so of course she missed red flags. But the important thing is she learned from this experience. I parrot what was said in this video. Ladies, *ALWAYS* have your own source of income and apartment! And *DO NOT* shack up with your bf and fall for the 'SAHG' trick. It's a trap to dissolve your independence and freedom!
This is why it's so important to never rely on a man for money or a place to live. I'm so glad I always had my own income even as a SAHM. I'm not sure if I saw it here or what, but the saying if they can feed u, they can starve u is so true. I'm so sure thats why some men hate independent women because they want to be able to control women and keep them subservient.
In all of my bad relationships, the sayings that saved me time and time again is "I can do bad all by myself" and "have you some funny money". I was of course conditioned to look for love and support from men but the women in my family always said to have a plan B because you just never know how bad it can get. I did have examples of women who divorced despite the stigma. I'm glad the young lady was able to get away from that user.
Inviting that monster to her new home, which she literally got to get away from his mental and physical torture is incredibly stupid, but its a big relief for her that she finally got rid of him without getting baby trapped by him
I am in my 40s and still don’t understand where women find all this compassion, empathy and care for males- all while never getting the same from men in return. When women DO manage to get some sort of empathy/respect from males, it’s always after betrayal. Always after confusion. Always after chaos…. These same kind of women would drop a female friend from years back or stop speaking to their female relatives for simply sharing an opinion. How do yall not manage to do that with these men? I’m not getting that part. Even still today.
It starts with raising your children not to idolize marriage and relationships no matter their age (even with the biological clock concerns), and the wealth/education status of a potential partner. For as long a society places a premium over marriage and relationships, especially for women, shacking up is going no where! The only other alternative, is to codify it into legislation - hence why Muslim majority countries do not have this problem, as it is haram or illegal (and they do check) to cohabitate before marriage! Western and liberal countries would NEVER do this, so it has to be the former...
The age gap alone is disgusting. He is a predator.
A "stay-at-home girlfriend" is an unemployed woman. But with the way its branded, you'd think it was something really special and worthy of its own title. Always have your own, no matter what. The only women that can play SAHG without (many) consequences are the ones who come from money and/or are already independently wealthy. And those tend to be the women selling this fantasy to women who literally AND figuratively cannot afford to do that.
They’ll replace you without any care and plus that’s a free emotional labour offering!
Bless her heart. I think Stockholm syndrome is the reason she took that demon with her to her apt. I'm glad she was finally able to cut him loose.
"Help the next woman" is such an important message. It's easy (too easy) for some of us to get on our high horses (I'm not pointing fingers, I've been guilty of it in the past, too) and act like other women who get taken advantage of/misled are just flatly stupid. But then you realize: its all part of the patriarchy's plan. Keeping women ignorant, overly trusting, afraid to ask questions, and dependent on men is not a BUG, it is a FEATURE. It's not a design flaw, it's part of the design. I'm glad we can be here to pay our wisdom forward, share strategies and commiserate with one another.
Thank you!! There are too many judgmental people. We all had to learn through trial and error, no matter how big or small the mistake.
yesssss, exactly!!!!! Much love to all my sisters round the world, reading this- let's support and be each others friend and stand wise and strong against schemes and tricks of patriarchy scam-machine!
Thank you for saying this. Some of us are really out here learning as we go and stumbling along. We’re doing the best we can with what we have which unfortunately isn’t a lot. And I’m not necessarily talking money, I’m talking wisdom, experience, etc.
💯- women who come in spouting “it could never be me” don’t realize that’s EXACTLY what a potential predator wants you to think. Cause your shame if/when it happens to you will keep you silent and in their grasp.
Talk about some of us younger women who think we know it all, think older women are jealous of us because we hold onto what men say about them, and those of us who feel we must learn from our own mistakes instead of using other women as cautionary tales.
At the end of the day most women are arrogant and can't be told anything because they have the mindset that whatever happened to the next woman can't happen to them because they're so much better.
SAHGF is ridiculous. Someone houses you, feeds you and clothes you in exchange for you cooking, cleaning and xing. It’s almost impossible to break free (because you have no resources of your own). That sounds like putting yourself into slavery. At least if you are married you have some small legal protections (depending on country) like a split of assets and/or alimony that can help you a bit (although women often end up homeless and unemployable after a divorce).
6:39 Bless her heart 😞, I wish so much that she hadn't invited him to her new apartment but I understand wanting so much to see someone you think you love change for the better. It takes experiencing something like this to learn that folks only change when *they* are ready to and rarely do it for someone else. It's a hard lesson to learn, but I'm just glad she's alive and thriving and that she got this lesson early in life so that she'll know what to look for and when to leave in the future.
If a person have the power to feed you they have the power to starve you...
very true, yes...
Facts. Always have a way to feed yourself, no matter what.
Bars🎉
What’s crazy to me is that many women are out here with full power of finance over the the man they live with. It’s common for women to be breadwinners now and take care of the household on every level- and these males will STILL have power over the women.
Still!
@@AmberColeman-gq1wn it's the fear of being alone and the church saying the men should be the head... They think there place is that of a servant.
7:35 this girls eyes are open, and her mind is focused!
She wants to teach other young ladies about her experience and warn them of the danger!
She's gonna be alright!
Let’s stop romanticizing SAHGF lifestyle. No man will take care of you ladies. The SAHGF is for wealthy women from generational wealth. You are better off taking care of yourself and if in a relationship always have money he doesn’t know about and doesn’t have access to.. always look out for yourself ladies. Put your peace first ❤
Happy she made it out alive ❤
They’ll take care of you but it’ll come at a price. SAHGF more often than not is financially ab*sive but most won’t notice until they try to gain independence or leave altogether
@@TheePrincessBrat
They take care of you in exchange of your autonomy.
@@ruthmchuwen yup but they rebrand that as being “submissive”. He’s not being controlling, you’re just not being a good submissive gf.
@@TheePrincessBratyeah and submissive women actually do not mix well with dominant or overly masculine men that's one thing I noticed there in denial about because usually the women that want men to be the dominant ones are also dominant women and more aggressive about getting other women to settle i've read enough history books to know that modern men are terrible providers they weren't condition that way they want a submissive good wife while they spin the block and do a bunch of terrible things to people it's so weird and such a turn off to submissive women. We want our peace protected and we also need these people to stop sabatoging our careers just because we look like we would make a good mother or wife they try to define this as a woman only purpose in life when it's not some of us can't have them and we can't force our bodies to make them. They need to adopt some of the children we have on their planet now if raising kids is so important to them. That's how you know that it's not because there always worried about our clocks and they pretend like men don't have one too. They get off to seeing women go through pain and financial abuse that's the only reason they want them to make kids. Nothing is ever there fault if you noticed even if they killed your loved ones this would never happen if women did these things to men we would go extinct.
This might be an unpopular opinion but no woman should agree to be a stay at home girlfriend regardless of financial backing. No legal marriage offers no legal protections for you or any children born of that union.
She is amazing young woman…she learned real quick and made it OUT alive and is such a good hearted SISTER she shared her message! All of the best to her for her entire life. #StrongWomen♥️🎵
Nobody warned me either.
No judgement, only admiration for a human being who fought her way out of a d3adly trap.
Think of the generations of women who had no job, no education and no recourse like we did.
We are never going back.
I've found women dont listen when they are warned. A lot of women prioritize having a man over anything or anyone else.
Wow, this is a great PSA for women!
Good for her! And thank you for sharing, OP and Burb.
I'm glad she figured it out as a young woman, sometimes women put up with this for decades and are afraid to get out or can't. My heart goes out to them all
9/10 times:
They take care of you in exchange of your autonomy.
SAHW/ GF only work if the women involved has a trust fund or a retirement fund.
Thank Goodness she got out of that situation. I hope she heals from that traumatic experience.
I'm glad this young woman made out alive, and with ability to work without being tied down with a kid. I truly hope she learned from this. Many women recognize the red flags buy choose to ignore.
I was a stay at home girlfriend for 14 years. I did work on and off. Trust that I will never do that sh!t again.
Traditional household but he made her buy all the furniture with her savings and had her repeatedly crowdsource their bill money? Make it make sense!
Poor thing, but Im glad she got away. ❤
I didn’t find any major mistakes tbh. She saw an opportunity to upgrade her career path and took it. It worked out for her. She just made some minor mistakes along the way. Don’t we all?
These cautionary tales are so important. I'm so glad OP was able to get out and rebuild herself. She was working with her little dating experience at the time, so of course she missed red flags. But the important thing is she learned from this experience. I parrot what was said in this video. Ladies, *ALWAYS* have your own source of income and apartment! And *DO NOT* shack up with your bf and fall for the 'SAHG' trick. It's a trap to dissolve your independence and freedom!
I’m glad she made it out and got away from him. She learned a huge lesson early on and it will help her going forward in life.❤❤❤❤❤
So happy for her that she was able to get away and start over.❤
This is why it's so important to never rely on a man for money or a place to live. I'm so glad I always had my own income even as a SAHM. I'm not sure if I saw it here or what, but the saying if they can feed u, they can starve u is so true.
I'm so sure thats why some men hate independent women because they want to be able to control women and keep them subservient.
In all of my bad relationships, the sayings that saved me time and time again is "I can do bad all by myself" and "have you some funny money". I was of course conditioned to look for love and support from men but the women in my family always said to have a plan B because you just never know how bad it can get. I did have examples of women who divorced despite the stigma. I'm glad the young lady was able to get away from that user.
I'm really glad this young lady made it out of this relationship alive & well. 😪
I'm so sorry for what she went through. 😢
Inviting that monster to her new home, which she literally got to get away from his mental and physical torture is incredibly stupid, but its a big relief for her that she finally got rid of him without getting baby trapped by him
So glad she made it out! 🙌
❤
Girl, at 21 i was living life and no worries about no males. Until i was 25 and I want to be associated with males😂
She is me I am her the stories are too similar
Fact.
I am in my 40s and still don’t understand where women find all this compassion, empathy and care for males- all while never getting the same from men in return. When women DO manage to get some sort of empathy/respect from males, it’s always after betrayal. Always after confusion. Always after chaos….
These same kind of women would drop a female friend from years back or stop speaking to their female relatives for simply sharing an opinion. How do yall not manage to do that with these men?
I’m not getting that part. Even still today.
His version of traditional was rooted in scarcity .
Yes that what going on with me i need your help
People got it bad judging im not the type that will judge yes that why i don't mess with certain people
Why is it even a thing....
Stop moving in with these men and shacking up with them. Move in after marriage with both names on the deed/lease.
It starts with raising your children not to idolize marriage and relationships no matter their age (even with the biological clock concerns), and the wealth/education status of a potential partner. For as long a society places a premium over marriage and relationships, especially for women, shacking up is going no where! The only other alternative, is to codify it into legislation - hence why Muslim majority countries do not have this problem, as it is haram or illegal (and they do check) to cohabitate before marriage! Western and liberal countries would NEVER do this, so it has to be the former...
Huh this sounds like the guy that i was dating
Same
❤