ADHD and Attachment Trauma | 5 Tips to Address Rejection Sensitivity
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2022
- Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com 📢SUBSCRIBE and click the BELL to get notified when new videos are uploaded.
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#ADHD #attachment #rejection
#selfhelp #cognitivebehavioraltherapy #tips #counseling #counselling
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Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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Thanks for this video. I'm an adult with adhd and I was raised by adhd deniers. This made me sob with grief because although I am successful in my career I have spent my life in isolation because of ADHD and rejection sensitivity. The anger I have at society measures on the Richter scale. I wish more people understood ADHD and could explain it like this. I couldn't find help or understanding with treatment providers in my conservative state where ADHD is not even diagnosed. I was continually dismissed and over medicated. It's so rare to see anyone who actually understands this condition. And most people don't even care. If you care about your child, listen to voices like this.
I appreciate you watching. What was your favorite tip for addressing rejection sensitivity?
Thanks, the tip about acknowledging the wounded child is helpful. Because I was dismissed and held in contempt for my ADHD it's still hard for me to believe in it myself but when I hear a video like this it helps me have compassion for the little girl who so often felt responsible and not good enough. And maybe someday I'll trust someone to care if I share my triggers. Once I'm faulted for my symptoms I generally walk away and once someone has been impatient with me once I generally give up and avoid them. So few people believe me because I'm high functioning that outside my career I generally deem someone unsafe, unable to understand and walk away almost immediately. Maybe someday I'll be in touch with my triggers and I'll want a relationship enough to attempt communication. All five tips were helpful.
Oh the other tip that got me thinking was about where when someone rejects my behavior or edict that they're not rejecting me. That's perplexing and brings an interesting point. I'm unsure how to tell the difference. I think since childhood I just erred on the side of caution because I can't tell where I stand with people.
@Yung Anhedonic 🙏🔥 EXACTLY! 🎯 Thank you!!
Me too. I'm just speechless.
I see how caregivers stomp on children's boundaries by sharing their own negative emotions when the child feels bad, wanting someone to commiserate and suffer with them, or even have the empathic child fix their emotions for THEM. This is the reverse parenting that children DO NOT want to do but are forced to do. This is why and how my own needs were never met. No one would validate what I had going on inside and would steal that validation to shine on their own feelings of victimization. My mother did this all the time!
I appreciate you watching the video! What tips will you use to address rejection sensitivity?
Every single time you post a video I feel like you put whats in my head into the right words. Thank you so so much for everything you do 🤍
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Jinkies this is God sent
This stuff is fantastic! I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 22. No one ever told me anything like this. As adults we can do these things for others and yet still don't know how to do these things for ourselves. NOTHING is more depressing than having everyone else around you thrive and not one person cares for you or even thanks you, not even yourself. This is the plight of the unaware empath!
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
Never seen my dad get down on floor to play with me. I would climb all over him and he wouldn't hug me or even squeeze my hand when I held his. Never received a hug from either parent. Never said I love you too me either. Didn't hold or touch me unless they were cutting my toenails. It hurt to have that done.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. What is your favorite tip from the video, a tip you find extremely helpful in addressing that?
I hugged my mom maybe 3 times I can remember growing up. Dad, couple. No emotions from my parents.
You understand no one ever stopped to show us anything, or mentor us, it is fucked up to admit it at 38 years old. Just bad people.
This changed my life.
You described me to a T. I'm 62 and I'm speechless.
I appreciate you watching. How are you planning to address ADHD?
Other videos on ADHD can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
I found out at 44 I had this condition. I was never safe, never attached, always rejected, and had a lot of embarrassment and criticism. I couldn't do simple arithmetic, but later in high school, loved Algebra. So, for the parents out there who is freaking out about the lights being on some days and not others, I just want to say, that athematic is the issue not Math. I am also, time blind, but now I have Alexa, and I changed the voice and write in messages as reminders like "it's time to get off of that computer, go get dressed, and ready for the appointment" at least an hour and half before the appointment, and then I have another reminder tell me, I got 45 mintues to go, and another, tell me to leave the house a half hour before the appointment if it is near by me. That's how hard it was, yet, I worked in offices, and never advanced much due to me not knowing I had it. I was not low in IQ, but high in ideas, and low in executive function.
I am sorry you found out you have this at 44 years old and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
This explains a lot about social anxiety to those who are not diagnosed with ADHD. All the information here. Doc Snipes is amazing help, this explains a lot of mysterious and unknown issues which are really frustrating and appear catastrophic - now it all suddenly makes sense.
I feel a lot calmer now when I hear all this information regarding experiences with my own social anxiety issues - especially of the effect of "corrective measures". I do not feel any more defensive or shameful or antagonistic anymore.
"ADHD may experience a lot of rejection where people are telling them to be quiet, to mind their manners, to sit still. So they constantly getting corrective feedback and rejection and feeling what they say is not important, people won't spend time with them"
ad
"When caretaker is validating how child is feeling and what's going on with the child ('you feel oy tired) this teaches the child about other awareness. Acknowledge feelings of others without correcting them"
I am grateful to be of help and I an also grateful for you being here and watching videos
An isolated incident happened at work yesterday where I asked a co-worker of mine if he'd ever consider hanging out with me outside of work. I was never given a response, and because of that, my mind went to the assumption that he had just rejected me all together, or doesn't even care about me on that level. I've been trying my best to separate facts from feelings in regards to what actually happened, but despite my best attempts, I ended up going to work today feeling distraught and angry. It wasn't until I talked the situation out with a different co-worker that I started to feel somewhat better, but in knowing what I know now thanks to this video, I can finally rest easy in realizing that I am not the problem. 💝
Thank you for watching the video and for sharing
So I'm a little late to the party on comment but I just found this video. Doc Snipes you HAVE to do this same thing for Autistic people. It's disgusting how ABA (conversion therapy for autistic kids) is still used when we could be doing education like this. Practically the entire autistic community is traumatized by parents (knowingly or unknowlingly) trying to force us to be neurotypical. Videos like this are a huge help for trauma and preventing future abuse.
Thank you for watching and for sharing
@@DocSnipesalso do you think that unacknowledged adhd could lead to NPD?
Secure attachment would have been nice! It sounds so dreamy.
Thanks for watching the video.
I love and value all of the information you share with us. Your time and effort are greatly appreciated.
I am so grateful to be of help and I am also grateful for you being here and watching videos. What did you find most useful from this video?
Thank you Dr. Snipes, so many of your videos apply to my inner child. I wish you were my counselor but this is sort of like counseling and knowledge I need to hear. Also you remind me about DBT I would like to apply more. I had undiagnosed inattentive ADHD since a young child. I'm now 35, was only diagnosed a couple years ago. Thanks again I need to take notes because I listen but don't retain. Every word you're saying resonates in my heart ❤️ it's how I am or was.
Thank you so much for watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=DBT
Just wanting to say thank you Doc Snipes, these videos really speak to me in that I'm pretty sure I'm afflicted with just about everything you talk about. My confidence in achieving my goals is growing despite brutal setbacks I'm still encountering. It's uplifting to see you posting more videos, and they are all really good, it makes it harder for me to give up. God bless, appreciate you 🙏
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
My mom said when I was left alone I would cry until picked up, when she would leave my room I would 😭 . My father was highly critical and still is, I'm no contact now. My parents are both narcissistic. My mom said "you had a good childhood. I took u to the store and helped u with homework" I don't remember this but I meant the attunement wasn't there. I don't remember my parents doing anything with me and with positive praise or direction.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. What would you say was your favorite tip from the video?
@@DocSnipes i cant remember I have to go back I find I don't retain things
I can relate to all this, only when I grew up, no one, but no one, understood this, growing up in the fifties and sixties was very hard, still is in many way, but knowing oneself is half the game, but the general public today is just as ignorant and unaccepting of people who are different, just as they are of immigrants, it a lonely life, when your different…
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Thanks again! I‘ll rewatch right now as I missed some parts. Hope everyone watching/reading has a lovely weekend 🌸
Hope you’re having a lovely day. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD.
Excellent video!!! So helpful!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Its still wild to me how all of you give this information and explain it in ways in which one would believe that you all are nuerodivergent as well. I appreciate it deeply from the heart. Ive learned and seen myself through these in multiple ways.
I do have ADHD, and so does my son. :)
@@DocSnipes Mind partially blown. I figured your son but wild to know you aswell. Had no clue.
Living with the fear that you missed some crucial bit of information and are about to be exposed and embarrassed for it. Was a constant fear of mine as a child.
That sounds awful and I am sorry it happened to you
It would be helpful to have some sort of guide to determine when our rejection sensitivity is triggered vs signs we should legitimately limit our time and/or contact with someone. I have a difficult time identifying toxic people before getting close, which makes it more difficult.
My immediate family regularly makes plans and doesn't invite me, I have directly asked why multiple times and it still happens, they say it is unintentional. We are all adults, but our family has never had a mature method of resolution between members, no way to provide feedback without rupturing the relationship entirely. Everyone is expected to pretend like everything is okay.
I can relate Page
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching
I feel you
Your not alone
When you do get invited show up with some flowers or food. Then have a good time. Don't bring up a thing that reflects on times you were not invited. When they leave you leave. Don't think about how poorly they treated you if you feel that way just go on to something in your life. I know it is hurtful. Keep them OFF your mind. At some point you can have the family get together at your home.
I 🙏 it all improves & there is much love & understanding. 🙏
@@sweetest247 thank you for the tips! I don't have any income but I do host the holidays. I was thinking of trying to host a monthly potluck/game night in the winter, at least the months without holidays. I have been trying to get them to talk about themselves and make them feel heard and seen, when they do come around.
I have a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable men, right now I am going through a divorce and struggling to raise my toddler alone. I know my patterns come from my immediate family, but I just can't seem to shake this longing. I want a real family.
@@PaigeSquared
Ugh
Divorce
Did you file first or did he?
Great channel. 🌷
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Thank you
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
I am extremely sensitive to sensory modulations. Sounds in particular can overwhelm me easily. I had to train myself to remain calm when there is noise but then as I got older it became just as overwhelming to experience silence. So no now im like emotionally dysregulating during instances of silence... especially in speech and this is augmenting my rejection sensitivity dysphoria
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thanks
I deeply appreciate your meaningful contribution to my video. Your kindness truly makes a difference, and it motivates me greatly. Thank you for supporting the channel and for helping me.
So informative, thank you. I have ADHD but I love my time alone. I enjoy spending time with friends but I function well by myself. I don’t do well in groups, I get overwhelmed and confused. That includes team sports.
Actually I have ADHD and I love math. What is hard is the paying attention part ( that is true for any subject or informstion I get) but once the information is in my subconscious, it becomes second nature. Math is about logic, people with adhd are not worst at logic
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Same here! History was too much memorization, math was just like learning a language in a natural setting. I believe the predictability of it also calmed me down and didn't trigger my rsd as bad as other tasks that were more subjectively measured.
About the senses; it’s all the senses that can be hypo or hypersensitive, according to my experience, but I am referring more to someone on the autism spectrum in addition to comorbid ADHD.
Teachers need to get updated about ADHD. Big pharma doesn't have the solution.
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Rejection sensitivity can occur in many diagnostic categories.
I appreciate you watching. What was your favorite tip on addressing rejection sensitivity?
I experienced this as a child, but ADHD wasn't a thing then. Now, I'm in my mid-50's with a newly minted diagnosis. 😮
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
Is there a video already on having adhd and cptsd or ptsd then turn into cptsd?
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Unlimited CEUs for $59 for Counselors and Social Workers are available at AllCEUs.com. Proceeds support this channel.
Is there a general theme for people who are highly sensitive and childhood trauma? Thanks
Thanks for watching the videos. What did you find most useful from it. I have the videos on Adverse Childhood Experiences and I have videos on childhood trauma on the channel. Here are the videos on ACES:
ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ACES
And here are the videos on ADHD. Childhood trauma can be misdiagnosed as ADHD, BPD, Narcissism etc.
Is rsd just abandonment trauma or two separate things ?
I am wondering why my daughter and her son that were diagnosed with ADHD, why she wants people to make exceptions for her but doesn’t seem to put those understandings with her son? I see this over sensitivity with my grandson and had most of his life.
ADHD can make parenting much harder.
Maybe they need family counseling
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: ruclips.net/user/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
Ok how does this affect attachment style this is just one more trauma dead dad crazy mom now adhd is a cause can I get a brake I already cant afford to get help
I hate" notify me"
"When you get a minute I'd like to talk to you about something." 🤮 If I hear that I'm mentally gone for 2 or 3 days.
I appreciate you watching
Can you please stop stressing toddlers only and say THOSE WITH ADHD?? It's hard watching THESE videos for those of us Adults who have ADHD YET HAVE TO A LISTEN TO TOADLETS BEING HIGHLIGHTED INSTEAD OF ALL OF US‼️
In my other videos I talk about all people, however this video was specific to explaining how attachment trauma and lack of a secure attachment with the primary caregiver leads to HPA axis dysregulation and rejection sensitivity
@@DocSnipes My daughter has rejection sensitivity and I don’t understand how this can be related to attachment trauma. I’m a very loving hands on mother. I played with her I validated her I love on her. There’s no reason for her to have this. She does have Adhd
@@WarandFlame could trauma be from just existing in a world that doenst accommodate people with adhd ? I have no doubt you have been a great parent..not all trauma stems from caregivers, this can be a cruel world , even with the best intentions from parents
@@WarandFlameand how does/did your daughter’s father interact with her? Loving, validating, attentive?
I feel that it would be very helpful for you to label videos like this as geared towards parents dealing with their children. It is very off-putting as an adult with ADHD to search for videos and have 99% of them come up to be for children. Labeling your videos according to who they are for will save me and I'm sure many others a lot of time. I'm sure the title was made very general so you get more clicks and views but it is not helpful.
Have you watched the video? I am only asking because this video IS for adults. If a video is geared towards parents dealing with children, I make sure to mention that in the title, to avoid confusion. :)