You and your siblings have nothing to feel guilty about concerning your birth mother because she stopped being your mom the day she left you and your siblings behind for her lover. She definitely made a horrible mistake: trading her looks for money, not love---this type of trade NEVER lasts. Don't let your mother's relatives guilt trip you & your siblings into caring for a woman who never really loved you guys.
You do what you feel is right. You’re not obligated to care for her but visiting her could relieve you from all the pain you carry on your back due to your mom’s negligence. There’s no karma here. Only her.
Sister, you and your siblings are not wrong. A mother is obligated to care for her children but she enslaved you and abandoned you. If it makes you feel any better, at least visit her once and let her know how you feel before she dies. Let out all your pain and anger so you can really move on. You don’t owe her anything. She only cared about her own happiness so let her reap what she sow.
At least your mom be honest with you children. It's break your heart but you never know what going on with you mom N your dad too. So be forgive and choose your happy bc that's your parents life not yours.
Tus me muam, koj txoj story has tau tu siab heev. Nrog hlub koj thaum koj tseem me me ua koj niam tsim koj thiab ntau koj. Zoo siab tias nej ho hlub koj txiv thiab nej cov nus muag ciaj niam ciaj txiv tas. Nej yeej ua yog kawg lawd.
Your older brother and your dad are correct.., No need to claim her as a mother. We adults people are not careful enough that we will get old one day and needs our children too
Kuv xav tias peb ua neeg nyob. Txawm yog yus ntxeev siab rau yus tus khub lawm los. Yus cov menyuam yus yuav tau hlub. Txhob muab xyeeb hlo rau tus txiv xwb es yus cia li tsis quav ntsej li. Thaum kawg ces tsis muaj chaw tuag. Good story. Thank you for sharing.
Xav kom cov poj niam hmoob uas tab meeg tawm ntawm tus txiv lib taw rooj mus caum mekas npam txhua tus li nov kom tag es peb cov txiv neej hmoob thiaj tsis mob siab naj.
You do not owe your birth mother anything. It’s okay to forgive her, but not be a part of each other’s lives. Forgiving is not to say that what she did was okay but so you can accept the situation for what it is, move forward, and be at peace. Some relationships are best left without contact when you know the other person can never be the type of individual you need, expect of, or can respect. She didn’t want anything to do with you and your siblings at your greatest time of need so why should she expect anything from you at her worst. Choices have consequences and she has to live with hers. I hope you and your siblings know that what you did is not wrong and find peace within your hearts.
Nej g hlub los yeej g npam nej cov me nus muag vim koj niam yeej khiav tawm yam g noog nej moo es hlub tus uas hlub nej xwb os mog thaum koj niam g muaj chaw mus ces mam nco tias tshuav nej pab nus muag lig dhau zoo qhov tseem muaj tsev laus muab chaw rau nws mus nyob os.😂😂😂
It is sad. No words can be expressed all the pain you and your siblings especially your father have went through. At the end of the day, it is still your biological mother. At least give her some love and visit one more time and forgive her for all she's done. Sometimes in life, we forget what we have until we lose it. This is a prime example. Love one another. Forgive and forever you will feel the peace and love in the future days to come. Peace
Just because someone gave birth to you, doesn't mean they will be a good mother. You have every right to not be able to forgive your mom. She was selfish from the start. She only wants you guys back because she has no where else to go.
Don’t worry about “ntshai lub ntuj”. She is the mother and she didn’t care about lub ntuj. Your mother made her choice and left all of you behind. What you decide to do is your choice.
May you and your siblings find it in your heart to forgive your mom. You don't have to take care of her since she abandoned all of you. But if it'll make you feel a little better or less guilty, go visit her every once in a blue moon. I pray you all will find it in your heart to forgive her.
Your mother made a decision based on her needs and her wants. Now, she is asking anyone to meet her needs again. She has never prioritized family first before, and now that she needs help, family is important. NO, it does not work like that. It is too bad for her.
Peb li kuv niam phem phem cem cem peb cem phem phem tabsis peb 4 tug ntxhais hlub hlub kuv niam vim yog peb ntxub cib nyeej kuv niam ces peb ces phem ib yam li kuv niam thiab. Nej yuav tsum hlub hlub nej niam kom txhob npam nej thiab
Nej ua yog lawm mog cov me nyuam awj yeej tsis muaj kev khaum kev npam rau nej li os mog nws coc lus thaum nws sawv kev tsees mus caum nws tus hluas nraug meskas es nws hais rau koj na me ntxhais cov lus ntawv ces yog cov lus ua pov thawj tim khawv rau lub ntuj thiab daim av tiag tias txawm nej tsis hlub tsis kk nws los yuav tsis npam na npam ces yog npam nws nkaus xwb mog es li no xwb
You and your slings should go see your mom, she is still your mom, even though she was wrong. She knows now. You do not need feel sorry for but just to go see her. Hopefully you guys can find a place in your heart to forgive her before she leave this world. Make peace with her before you regret later on. There is no time to waste. May God bless and you with this situation.
NO! A mistake is a one time incident without thinking. THIs is how many years of betrayal and abandonment? And, she didn't come back because she learned her mistake. She was kicked out and forced to come back. Then she got sick. She is being selfish with her kids AGAIN, wanting them to take care of her and wipe her poop? DON'T do it kids.
My personal opinion, do what makes you feel better. Every one has their own opinion in life. No one is perfect! Cause I believe in Karma. You are the only one that know what is right and wrong so, do it!
Txawm.zoo thiab phem los yog nej niam lawm tsis hlub ntau los yuav tau hlub me me. Mus saib thiab yuav twj yam khoom mus pub rau noj ones a while thiab. Ho txwv tu nrho li ko kuj tsis yog lawm. Vim mua nejj niam thiaj muaj nej nawb. Nej ua tsis yog lawm
Kv xav mas nws twb yuav dua toj lm ces thov nej ua me tub me nyuam mus saib nws ib 2 zaug ua zaum kawg pauj qhov uas nws yug nej es thiaj ts mj chaw khuam nej siab rov tom qab nawb mog nws twb yuav ncaim ntiaj teb no mus ua zaum kawg es nej ho ts mus saib nws ib zaug ua zaum kawg ces yus yuav yg tug txhaum ib qho me me lm thiab os mog
Shes still ur mom no matter what, sometimes she will make mistakes in her life u just have to accept it just forgive her..i know its sad That what your mom done to you sister dont be stress about it she is still ur mom u just have to accept the consequences & forgive her
You dont have to forgive your mom but I always say when you know better you do better. She is still your mom no matter what, go visit her, forgiveness is not for the perpetrator but for the victim so you can move on. Sometimes kids dont understand what their parents are going through. Every person only sees it from their point of view.
Being abandoned, as children, on the one hand.... and parents having conflicting wants & needs in life (mental, physical abuses or simply one party finding "love" money or whatever "outside" and deciding to move on) and needing to separate from one another, on the other hand... are completely independent issues. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ EDIT: the kids in this FICTIONAL STORY (let's just treat the story as if it's real, since there are literally endless REAL STORIES having this kind of abuses & abandonment in them, too)... especially the eldest daughter through whose POV we heard the story being related here.... they were PHYSICALLY and mentally ABUSED by this heinous person who gave birth to them. The physical abuses started when the GIRL in question here was just a small baby... with the monstrosity for a mother she had... repeatedly using her knuckles on her/the baby's head... not to be discovered by the father until much later... when he wondered why those "bums" on top of the little girl's head. A monstrosity like this woman should never be near children, much less give birth to them. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ If you're a kind, moral, ethical PARENT, even if you're divorced from the other parent (of the children you've created together), you still have responsibility to helping raise those kids. I don't have kids; but I have seen it my whole long life & have come to the conclusion most people SHOULD NOT have kids.... because educationally, mentally, physically, financially, parental wise.... they're just not prepared to have kids. I have a sister who has one kid at close to 40; she is a single parent, but she's spent her whole life getting an advanced education, getting a good paying job, with good savings... and then she did it the clinical way... So she could invest her entire life on that ONE daughter of hers. She bought my parents a new home, too. My parents' three beloved "boys," including yours truly... we don't do jack... none of us is married; none has children... two wandered afar most of our lives, teaching and wandering from place to place. The youngest one left the US right after college, to teach in Japan... been there his entire adult life; he doesn't speak any Hmong... just English and Japanese, which he majored in, in college... having grown up being crazy about Japanese anime in the 1990s... Again, ALL this unnecessary winding thought is to say, again, a lot of people, if not most, shouldn't have kids: they are not caring enough, not financially responsible enough (you don't have to be rich to have kids: but if you do, whatever you have SHOULD be devoted to raising your kids), not educated enough... to raise kids responsibly, in a healthy way. I spent years being around and helping to look after my younger siblings; but I would make a horrible parent. But at least I knew enough, at least I am educated enough to know THAT.... so that's why I don't have kids.
It’s true she’s your mom but it’s also true she abandon you and your siblings when you guys were young and cannot care for yourselves. It seems her sins he caught up to her and now she cannot care for herself. No matter who we are, we all mistake. Forgive her and continue living your life. You can still love her but from afar. You can chose to get closer to her or you can chose to stay away. Neither way, it’s not your fault. Love those who love you and let go of those who abuse you.
Dont feel bad. She was the one who gave birth to you but she wasnt your mother. The only reason she came crawling back was because of her laziness and her meeka bf didnt want her anymore. You can forgive her and still love her but dont give her your all.
hahaha luag tej twb hais tias lus mos lus tuaj pos, luag plaub hau daj ces luag tsuas xav nce nrog yus pw saum txaj, mag tsis mag qhua luag tej zaum no luag tsis qua ntsej
Yes but is so sad in weid story is sound like my life too. Me in my ex husband we divorced in our kids is a abandoned me as a mother. My ex running away with a older lady in his life but all my evil kids abandoned me as well as this story. But is okay life moves on in goes on….
I never commented before when listening to hmong stories. But I have to for this one. Your mom may be the worst mom for leaving you guys and your dad. I understand that that hurts more than anything else. I would hurt too if my mom does that to me and my siblings and my dad. But remember that no matter what, she is still your mom. You don't have to take care of her, change her diaper or feed her. But you and your siblings do need to go see her before it's too late. She is once your mom. Just go see her. Don't wait until she die, then you will regret not going to see her.
yall siblings owe her nothing ur not in the fault, but tell ur dad that his ex didnt belong to him at all in the first place it was just his turn..... she belongs to the street........... 🤣
Go see her. It’s your mother. You don’t need to give her money or anything but you can go see her. Forgive her and move on so you don’t regret it later when it’s too late.
You and your siblings did the right thing. Love the ones that love you. If your egg donor had a good life, she still wouldn't even care about you. She walked away with all of you crying and begging at her feet. She's one cold hearted person. Since she loves laying around while others do her work, now she can do that in the care facility, so what's she got to cry about.
Cov mi nyuam ib sim neej yug los ua ib zaug neeg xwb twb yog muaj nej niam thiaj muaj nej es zam lub txim rau mog lam qa tej nyuag yam khoom mus pub rau nej niam noj ua koob hmoov rau nej nawb
Yog koj niam nyuam qhuav khiav mus li 3, 4 xyoos xwb thiab nws yeej tseem noog nej moo hlub nej me me no mas hais li koj niam tus brother hais los kuj yog thiab, but koj niam twb mus tau ntau ntau xyoo nws twb tsis noog nej moo nej twb tsis nco qab txog nej niam lawm. Twb yog nej niam tshiab mam los nrog koj txiv tu nej tsa nej ua neej xwb. Hais li koj niam tus brother hais tsis yog lawm. Vim nej niam mus lawm ntsiag moo to tau ntev ntev lawm twb tsis quav ntsej nej li lawm yeej tsis khaum nej lawm os cov me nyuam. Nej xav mus kuj mus tsis txaus siab mus mus los txhob yuam nej tus kheej.
Love those who love u. In that case, your dad and stepmom, not your birth mom. Your birth mom never really loves u guys. She even abandoned u guys for her white lover and baby.
Nej tsis hlub los yeej tsis npam nej os koj niam nws mus nrhiav kev kaum rau nws tus kheej xwb os.. nrog nej zoo sjab koj txiv kuj nrhiav tau ib tug zoo niam los hlub nej es nej tsis tau ua ntsuag quaj poob kua muag rau niam tshiab but just to your birth mom!
What your mother did was wrong. She caused a lot of hurt for you and your siblings. She basically abandoned all of you. But at the end of the day, she’s still your mother. We haven’t walked a step in your shoes but I think you and your siblings should still go see her. Forgive her and give her grace for her wrongdoings. It will help you heal and bring you peace when she is gone from this world.
Nws khiav lawm twb tsis soj tej menyuam qab li. Yam hais tias tej menyuam mob tuag los nws twb tsis khuv xim. Cov dab laug ces lawv ntshais tsam lawv tus muam tuag es lawv poob $50,000 ua kev cai dab rau. Lawv thiaj ntxias cov menyuam kom thaum tuag li niag maum dev ces yuam kom cov menyuam poob nyiaj xwb.
Cov me muam thiab cov me kwv tij. Kuv yog ib tug tub los ntawm peb tsev Hmoob thiab kuv xav hais rau nej hais tias txawm nej zam txim tsis tau rau koj niam txoj kev phem los, tsis ua cas tab sis ntawm kuv, kuv xav hais rau nej tias nws twb npam lawm es nej txawm hlub nej txiv thiab nej niam tshiab 99% lawm los muab 1% los mus hlub nej niam os mog. vim nej niam yog tus yug thiab muab nroj ntshav rau nej. Qhov nws ua phem phem rau nej ces muab xav hais tias yog yav tag lawm no xwb os mog. Ua ntej nej mus no ces ua twb zoo mus hais rau nej niam ua yog niam tshiab thiab nej txiv ib los mas nej mam mus os mog. Nws twb npam lawm es nej hos mus hlub me2 kom tsim nyog qhov nws yug nej los ib zaug os mog. Kom txoj kev npam tsua los tag rau nws lawm xwb es txhob muaj ntxiv lawm.
That was my father in law. He doesn’t think I am capable of being a good nyab because I grew up in a working household. Because my family has money, he thinks I can’t cook or clean. Meanwhile, he didn’t want to work because government gave him $1000 a month for “disability.” My mil doesn’t know English so she stays home all day too. Not old enough for retirement and not disabled so no money. We told him that even if he worked at walmart as a greeter he could make $1500-$1700. He said he’d rather stay home and already get more than half of that by doing nothing. Doesn’t let my mil work because he’s jealous too. Instead, they go fishing and hunting everyday because he’s still capable of hiking… just not working. MIL babysits. If he made an extra $500-$700 a month that is already $6000-$8400 a year extra he could have. But nope… he chooses to have his sons pay for rent/food/his own hobbies. And he still has the audacity to tell us he doesn’t like the house we’re renting for him, or that we aren’t buying him the nicest things 🙃
Txawm phem zoo lo nej yuav tau mu saib nej niam. Xav rau qhov nw ua ce yeej tusiab, tab si nco ntsoov tia hauv ntiaj teb no yus txawm mu muab 1000 tus hu niam lo tau! Tab si tus yug yus tsua muaj ib tug xwb. Tusiab ib txhia lo zam txim ib txhia
No DO NOT visit her. When they say the problem was only between the father and mother, Nah....it was between the kids and the mother too. She abandoned them, chose her own selfishness over her kids! So, at the end, she should NOT get what she wants...to be taken care of. I hate the idea that Mom is lub ntuj....NO, only if you act that way. Let her simmer in her selfishness. She didn't learn ANY lessons. She didn't come back to love you. She got kicked out. She got sick, her own doing. She now wants to be selfish with the kids AGAIN, and make them take care of her? DON'T do it. She doesn't get what she wants...not again.
Koj niam tej teeb meem thiab lub siab phem no nej cov me nyuam tsis tas yuav mus tu nws li nej niam lawm vim nws twb tsis ua nes txoj hauj lwm yog ib leej niam rau nej nej yuav hlub nws thiab tsis hlub los yeej tsis muaj dab tsi yeej yog li dab laug hais nws yog tus yug nej tab sis thaum nws khiav mus nws twb tsis nco qab hais tias nej yog nws cov me nyuam nej txawm tsis hlub tsis mus saib los yeej tsis ua cas li os
Koj nco ntsoov koj lo lus at the beginning of this story of yours. Koj twb txawj hais tias txog thaum ti tes ti taw kiag lawm, peb txhua tus yeej yuav tsum hu "leej niam lub npe ua ntej leej lwm tus lub npe" no nawb. Koj puas tau hnov Hmoob cov neej neeg txog leej txiv tsis hlub cov me nyuam thiab leej niam, muab lawv tso yoo tshaib yoo nqhis, tso khab theeb tim puam, khiav mus yuav niam yau mus hlub niam yau cov me nyuam. Txog thaum leej txiv tws kev, nws tig rov los taij nws cov me nyuam hlub nws. Cov me nyuam twb tsis ua li nej ua rau nej niam nawb. Lawv twb rov txais lawv txiv rov los hlub rau yav laus. Yog vim li cas nej pab me nyuam ko thiaj li txais tsis tau nej niam? Nco ntsoov nawb, nej txiv tsuas tsoob nej niam kom nws zoo nyob xwb ov, nws tsis yog tus muab txoj sia txoj pa rau nej nawb. Hos nej niam mas, kuj hnov zoo nyob thiab, tab sis nws tseem ev nej hauv nws lub plab 9 lub hlis. Nej noj nws cov roj ntshav. Thaum nej tawm hauv nej niam lub pim los, mob nws kawg kiag. Nej twb yug me nyuam lawm thiab, nej yeej paub hais tias mob npaum li cas. Nws tu nej until nej take care tau nej tus kheej. Nej tshuav nws nqi yam nej them tsis taus rov qab. Nej yuav tau hlub nej niam nawb. Tsam ces nej ho tau taug nws txoj kev ov.
You guys owe that selfish Mom, Nothing! The audacity your uncles have to ask you guys to help her & mention Karma! No bad Karma will come to you...Your Mom Reaped what she Sowed!
To the mom, Why be mad if ppl hate you for something you did that is true? And she has no reason to be offended when she created the hate for herself among the Hmong community.
Nope, you feel whatever you want. She is a terrible person. She used your father, and she did not even love you as her child. YUP, she deserves whatever it comes to her. Very selfish person.
Even the starting of your story already telling me that your mom is not a good mom. She should not and does not deserve to be a mother. You and siblings did not do anything wrong and she is the one that decided to leave and not to love ore care about you guys and your dad so just the one that love and care you. It is not your fault for what your mom did and it is ok not to forgive her. It is her karma for what happened to her.
It will not be wrong to forgive and love your mom, you guys are your mom's children but that's up to the individual person. It sounds like karma for sure. It's only karma because your mom is just plain lazy, always looking for opportunity to not contribute to the family. Sometime, the birth parents may not love you as much as the adopted parents. Sorry, you kids have to go through this situation.
Ntuj aws.. poj hmoob ruam koj mas yog 1 tus neeg tub nkeeg dhau, leej twg hais rau koj tias txoj kev yug ne nyuam es yog tus neeg zog tab2 no na. Peb cov poj niam yug me nyuam mas yog 1 tus poj niam zog loj tshaj es thiaj li yug tau 1 pab hos.
OMG seriously. Hmong and their wordings..vim nws yog tus yug nej, whether it's the father or mother, they always use that phrase to scare you and makes you feel guilty. NOPE. He/she was never concerned or care about you, why should you be?
she left you guys to die. Let her burn in Hell. The ten commandments say respect your mom and Dad. The NEW commandment is love and respect the ones who loves you and respect you.
Unfortunately, drugs are common within the rich circle bc they’re mostly coke heads and it’s known that the rich are one of the largest drug suppliers in the industry. The rich meska ppl didn’t like your mom and are racist towards her bc she’s not in their class. Most rich meska ppl would rather have their kids married ppl within their class and race for connections and better prospects. If I were you, I’d focus on my step mom for being there and loving the children that aren’t hers from birth. Not all birth mothers are moms and you have a loving stepmom that made sacrifices. Most Hmong second wives can never be kind and loving like yours, especially giving you her only xauv as a wedding gift.
This is going to trigger some of our sisters that despised our Hmong brothers. Instead of marrying for love despite of other nationalities, some of our sisters trashed our brothers. There's got to have some Hmong sisters here to defend her.
Cov me nyuam aw nrog nej tu siab os mog txhua yam koj niam ua phem zaum no koj niam thiaj li npam nej tsis mus saib nws tas li los thov nej muab 1 lub sij hawm mus qhia thiab hais rau nws mloog es kom nws nyob nws txoj kev npam vim nej pab tsis tau nej niam txoj kev npam es kom lwm tiam nej niam ua neeg ncaj ncees no os mog
Whatever situation youre all in we will never know. But prayers to you all. Whatever you all decide I am sure you have thought it throughly and even if its not a choice some will make and some will tell you different. You all know yourself well and better just know everyone will have their own opinion about what they will do in your situation in your shoes. We all go through pain and healing differently and we all go through forgiving and forgetting differently. Sometimes we wish we can just love again when we know our hearts dont feel love anymore so why pretend we do when we dont. You do what your heart desires to do. At the end of the day its about you. Not about anyones opinion its about you. We can only speak for ourselves and some of us have never been in your shoes to know why you did what you did. But i am sure you did whats best for you.
You and your siblings have nothing to feel guilty about concerning your birth mother because she stopped being your mom the day she left you and your siblings behind for her lover. She definitely made a horrible mistake: trading her looks for money, not love---this type of trade NEVER lasts. Don't let your mother's relatives guilt trip you & your siblings into caring for a woman who never really loved you guys.
Funeral nowadays costs at least $50,000. Better stay away and do the right thing.
££@@@@@@ฟฟฤฟฟฟฟ@ฟฟฟฟฟฟ@@ฟฟ@ฤฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฤฟฟฟ@ฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟฟ,ฟฟฟหา
You guys did the right thing. A road not taken is a journey forever lost. Karma is real.
Nej cov me nyuam ua yog lawm yeej tsis muaj kev npam los rau nej cov neeg phem lim hiam li nej niam no cia tuag mus zoo dua
You do what you feel is right. You’re not obligated to care for her but visiting her could relieve you from all the pain you carry on your back due to your mom’s negligence. There’s no karma here. Only her.
Sister, you and your siblings are not wrong. A mother is obligated to care for her children but she enslaved you and abandoned you. If it makes you feel any better, at least visit her once and let her know how you feel before she dies. Let out all your pain and anger so you can really move on. You don’t owe her anything. She only cared about her own happiness so let her reap what she sow.
At least your mom be honest with you children. It's break your heart but you never know what going on with you mom N your dad too. So be forgive and choose your happy bc that's your parents life not yours.
Tus me muam, koj txoj story has tau tu siab heev. Nrog hlub koj thaum koj tseem me me ua koj niam tsim koj thiab ntau koj. Zoo siab tias nej ho hlub koj txiv thiab nej cov nus muag ciaj niam ciaj txiv tas. Nej yeej ua yog kawg lawd.
PERFECT ending!!! 😊 Zaj no mas xau tau txaus kuv siab tshaj!!
Your older brother and your dad are correct.., No need to claim her as a mother. We adults people are not careful enough that we will get old one day and needs our children too
She deserves everything she gets for being a terrible mom/person! You kids are not obligated to take care of her. She chose her own faith.
Kuv xav tias peb ua neeg nyob. Txawm yog yus ntxeev siab rau yus tus khub lawm los. Yus cov menyuam yus yuav tau hlub. Txhob muab xyeeb hlo rau tus txiv xwb es yus cia li tsis quav ntsej li. Thaum kawg ces tsis muaj chaw tuag. Good story. Thank you for sharing.
Zoo lis no lawm ces tsis thas hlub hlub koj niam lis os. Cias nws ua qab kev luag os.
Yus niam yus txiv muab nyiaj yuav tsi tau tabsi nyb ntawm nej xb hlub tsi hlub lo tsi ua cas
Xav kom cov poj niam hmoob uas tab meeg tawm ntawm tus txiv lib taw rooj mus caum mekas npam txhua tus li nov kom tag es peb cov txiv neej hmoob thiaj tsis mob siab naj.
Mus saib nej niam nawb nej thiaj li yog ib tug neeg zoo os, ua neeg nyob yuav tswv paub show mercy nawb thiaj li yog neeg tsim nuj
Yes love this story. Npam tsis npam neeg siab phem.
Nej yeej ua yog mog tab mas yuav tau mus saib niam ib zaug ua zaum kawg nawb mog
Nej ua yog lawm os yeej tsis muaj kev npam abtsi os
You do not owe your birth mother anything. It’s okay to forgive her, but not be a part of each other’s lives. Forgiving is not to say that what she did was okay but so you can accept the situation for what it is, move forward, and be at peace.
Some relationships are best left without contact when you know the other person can never be the type of individual you need, expect of, or can respect. She didn’t want anything to do with you and your siblings at your greatest time of need so why should she expect anything from you at her worst. Choices have consequences and she has to live with hers. I hope you and your siblings know that what you did is not wrong and find peace within your hearts.
Nej g hlub los yeej g npam nej cov me nus muag vim koj niam yeej khiav tawm yam g noog nej moo es hlub tus uas hlub nej xwb os mog thaum koj niam g muaj chaw mus ces mam nco tias tshuav nej pab nus muag lig dhau zoo qhov tseem muaj tsev laus muab chaw rau nws mus nyob os.😂😂😂
It is sad. No words can be expressed all the pain you and your siblings especially your father have went through. At the end of the day, it is still your biological mother. At least give her some love and visit one more time and forgive her for all she's done. Sometimes in life, we forget what we have until we lose it. This is a prime example. Love one another. Forgive and forever you will feel the peace and love in the future days to come. Peace
Cannot forgive a person that leave you when it’s convenient but comeback to you when they need help. I would not go visit her either.
Just because someone gave birth to you, doesn't mean they will be a good mother. You have every right to not be able to forgive your mom. She was selfish from the start. She only wants you guys back because she has no where else to go.
Nej cov mi nyuam ua yog tshaj nplaws li os tsis kev nplam li os....
You do the right thing. Doesn’t matter man or woman who away and does not care about you when you need then just move on.
No good deed go unpunished
Don’t worry about “ntshai lub ntuj”. She is the mother and she didn’t care about lub ntuj. Your mother made her choice and left all of you behind. What you decide to do is your choice.
Yes i love these kinda stories....good for the kids dont let them guilt trip you.
May you and your siblings find it in your heart to forgive your mom. You don't have to take care of her since she abandoned all of you. But if it'll make you feel a little better or less guilty, go visit her every once in a blue moon. I pray you all will find it in your heart to forgive her.
Your mother made a decision based on her needs and her wants. Now, she is asking anyone to meet her needs again. She has never prioritized family first before, and now that she needs help, family is important. NO, it does not work like that. It is too bad for her.
Peb li kuv niam phem phem cem cem peb cem phem phem tabsis peb 4 tug ntxhais hlub hlub kuv niam vim yog peb ntxub cib nyeej kuv niam ces peb ces phem ib yam li kuv niam thiab. Nej yuav tsum hlub hlub nej niam kom txhob npam nej thiab
Nej ua yog lawm mog cov me nyuam awj yeej tsis muaj kev khaum kev npam rau nej li os mog nws coc lus thaum nws sawv kev tsees mus caum nws tus hluas nraug meskas es nws hais rau koj na me ntxhais cov lus ntawv ces yog cov lus ua pov thawj tim khawv rau lub ntuj thiab daim av tiag tias txawm nej tsis hlub tsis kk nws los yuav tsis npam na npam ces yog npam nws nkaus xwb mog es li no xwb
You and your slings should go see your mom, she is still your mom, even though she was wrong. She knows now. You do not need feel sorry for but just to go see her. Hopefully you guys can find a place in your heart to forgive her before she leave this world. Make peace with her before you regret later on. There is no time to waste. May God bless and you with this situation.
Go see your mother. People make mistakes. Forgive and forget. That will make you a better person and heal your heart. Take care.
NO! A mistake is a one time incident without thinking. THIs is how many years of betrayal and abandonment? And, she didn't come back because she learned her mistake. She was kicked out and forced to come back. Then she got sick. She is being selfish with her kids AGAIN, wanting them to take care of her and wipe her poop? DON'T do it kids.
My personal opinion, do what makes you feel better. Every one has their own opinion in life. No one is perfect! Cause I believe in Karma. You are the only one that know what is right and wrong so, do it!
Txawm.zoo thiab phem los yog nej niam lawm tsis hlub ntau los yuav tau hlub me me. Mus saib thiab yuav twj yam khoom mus pub rau noj ones a while thiab. Ho txwv tu nrho li ko kuj tsis yog lawm. Vim mua nejj niam thiaj muaj nej nawb. Nej ua tsis yog lawm
Kv xav mas nws twb yuav dua toj lm ces thov nej ua me tub me nyuam mus saib nws ib 2 zaug ua zaum kawg pauj qhov uas nws yug nej es thiaj ts mj chaw khuam nej siab rov tom qab nawb mog nws twb yuav ncaim ntiaj teb no mus ua zaum kawg es nej ho ts mus saib nws ib zaug ua zaum kawg ces yus yuav yg tug txhaum ib qho me me lm thiab os mog
Shes still ur mom no matter what, sometimes she will make mistakes in her life u just have to accept it just forgive her..i know its sad That what your mom done to you sister dont be stress about it she is still ur mom u just have to accept the consequences & forgive her
You dont have to forgive your mom but I always say when you know better you do better. She is still your mom no matter what, go visit her, forgiveness is not for the perpetrator but for the victim so you can move on. Sometimes kids dont understand what their parents are going through. Every person only sees it from their point of view.
Being abandoned, as children, on the one hand.... and parents having conflicting wants & needs in life (mental, physical abuses or simply one party finding "love" money or whatever "outside" and deciding to move on) and needing to separate from one another, on the other hand... are completely independent issues.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
EDIT: the kids in this FICTIONAL STORY (let's just treat the story as if it's real, since there are literally endless REAL STORIES having this kind of abuses & abandonment in them, too)... especially the eldest daughter through whose POV we heard the story being related here.... they were PHYSICALLY and mentally ABUSED by this heinous person who gave birth to them. The physical abuses started when the GIRL in question here was just a small baby... with the monstrosity for a mother she had... repeatedly using her knuckles on her/the baby's head... not to be discovered by the father until much later... when he wondered why those "bums" on top of the little girl's head. A monstrosity like this woman should never be near children, much less give birth to them.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If you're a kind, moral, ethical PARENT, even if you're divorced from the other parent (of the children you've created together), you still have responsibility to helping raise those kids.
I don't have kids; but I have seen it my whole long life & have come to the conclusion most people SHOULD NOT have kids.... because educationally, mentally, physically, financially, parental wise.... they're just not prepared to have kids.
I have a sister who has one kid at close to 40; she is a single parent, but she's spent her whole life getting an advanced education, getting a good paying job, with good savings... and then she did it the clinical way... So she could invest her entire life on that ONE daughter of hers.
She bought my parents a new home, too.
My parents' three beloved "boys," including yours truly... we don't do jack... none of us is married; none has children... two wandered afar most of our lives, teaching and wandering from place to place. The youngest one left the US right after college, to teach in Japan... been there his entire adult life; he doesn't speak any Hmong... just English and Japanese, which he majored in, in college... having grown up being crazy about Japanese anime in the 1990s...
Again, ALL this unnecessary winding thought is to say, again, a lot of people, if not most, shouldn't have kids: they are not caring enough, not financially responsible enough (you don't have to be rich to have kids: but if you do, whatever you have SHOULD be devoted to raising your kids), not educated enough... to raise kids responsibly, in a healthy way.
I spent years being around and helping to look after my younger siblings; but I would make a horrible parent. But at least I knew enough, at least I am educated enough to know THAT.... so that's why I don't have kids.
I would hate and not care for her too if she was my mom.
It’s true she’s your mom but it’s also true she abandon you and your siblings when you guys were young and cannot care for yourselves. It seems her sins he caught up to her and now she cannot care for herself. No matter who we are, we all mistake. Forgive her and continue living your life. You can still love her but from afar. You can chose to get closer to her or you can chose to stay away. Neither way, it’s not your fault. Love those who love you and let go of those who abuse you.
Dont feel bad. She was the one who gave birth to you but she wasnt your mother. The only reason she came crawling back was because of her laziness and her meeka bf didnt want her anymore. You can forgive her and still love her but dont give her your all.
Tsis Yog koj tus txiv me kas ntxias koj es koj lub neej thiaj Puas. Tim koj yeej siab phem lim hiam xwb
hahaha luag tej twb hais tias lus mos lus tuaj pos, luag plaub hau daj ces luag tsuas xav nce nrog yus pw saum txaj, mag tsis mag qhua luag tej zaum no luag tsis qua ntsej
Your mom deserves all that happened to her nowadays. She was a bad mom from day one. I don't feel sorry for her at all. The sky does have eyes. ❤
Yes but is so sad in weid story is sound like my life too. Me in my ex husband we divorced in our kids is a abandoned me as a mother. My ex running away with a older lady in his life but all my evil kids abandoned me as well as this story. But is okay life moves on in goes on….
I never commented before when listening to hmong stories. But I have to for this one. Your mom may be the worst mom for leaving you guys and your dad. I understand that that hurts more than anything else. I would hurt too if my mom does that to me and my siblings and my dad. But remember that no matter what, she is still your mom. You don't have to take care of her, change her diaper or feed her. But you and your siblings do need to go see her before it's too late. She is once your mom. Just go see her. Don't wait until she die, then you will regret not going to see her.
Forgive her because it's good for your soul. You are not obligated to take care of her but you can go visit her. If God can forgive so can you.
yall siblings owe her nothing ur not in the fault, but tell ur dad that his ex didnt belong to him at all in the first place it was just his turn..... she belongs to the street...........
🤣
Go see her. It’s your mother. You don’t need to give her money or anything but you can go see her. Forgive her and move on so you don’t regret it later when it’s too late.
People always think that the other side is greener. She gets what she deserves. Nothing more and nothing less.
You and your siblings did the right thing. Love the ones that love you. If your egg donor had a good life, she still wouldn't even care about you. She walked away with all of you crying and begging at her feet. She's one cold hearted person. Since she loves laying around while others do her work, now she can do that in the care facility, so what's she got to cry about.
Tu siab ntau ua nej tau ib leej niam siab phem li ko. qhov nej yuav pab tau ces muab nws tso plig mus xwb.
Cov mi nyuam ib sim neej yug los ua ib zaug neeg xwb twb yog muaj nej niam thiaj muaj nej es zam lub txim rau mog lam qa tej nyuag yam khoom mus pub rau nej niam noj ua koob hmoov rau nej nawb
Txhob ntxias lawv. Nws khiav lawm twb tsis tu lawv yam lawv tuag nws twb tsis kk. Koj ntxias lawv poob $50,000 ua nws funeral xwb. Lawv twb txom nyem txaus thaum nws khiav mus noj qabhnav zoo pw tsaug zog zoo siab hlo.
Lub qhov pim kaus tuaj ces mus tsoob kom txaus es mam li npam tos qab
Yog koj niam nyuam qhuav khiav mus li 3, 4 xyoos xwb thiab nws yeej tseem noog nej moo hlub nej me me no mas hais li koj niam tus brother hais los kuj yog thiab, but koj niam twb mus tau ntau ntau xyoo nws twb tsis noog nej moo nej twb tsis nco qab txog nej niam lawm. Twb yog nej niam tshiab mam los nrog koj txiv tu nej tsa nej ua neej xwb. Hais li koj niam tus brother hais tsis yog lawm. Vim nej niam mus lawm ntsiag moo to tau ntev ntev lawm twb tsis quav ntsej nej li lawm yeej tsis khaum nej lawm os cov me nyuam. Nej xav mus kuj mus tsis txaus siab mus mus los txhob yuam nej tus kheej.
Koj niam lub qhov pim kaus heev lawm
Love those who love u. In that case, your dad and stepmom, not your birth mom. Your birth mom never really loves u guys. She even abandoned u guys for her white lover and baby.
Don't waste your time. The one you guys should love is your stepmom
Koj txiv npw li npw as pab tsi tau laub😮😮
Sh r gets what she did
...let het be at that place she is now
...God only pushes whoever breaks His words
Nej tsis hlub los yeej tsis npam nej os koj niam nws mus nrhiav kev kaum rau nws tus kheej xwb os.. nrog nej zoo sjab koj txiv kuj nrhiav tau ib tug zoo niam los hlub nej es nej tsis tau ua ntsuag quaj poob kua muag rau niam tshiab but just to your birth mom!
Ntuj es yuav tuag mam li rov los thawj nej.. Siab phem tiag tiag. Yog nej niam mus ciaj huab tais ces nws yeej tsis xam muaj nej nyob ntiajteb no.
What your mother did was wrong. She caused a lot of hurt for you and your siblings. She basically abandoned all of you. But at the end of the day, she’s still your mother. We haven’t walked a step in your shoes but I think you and your siblings should still go see her. Forgive her and give her grace for her wrongdoings. It will help you heal and bring you peace when she is gone from this world.
You all do right, it will not be cure ok. For the the curse only for who's doing wrong just like your birth mom ok.
Poj laib li koj tais tsuas ntxim xwb tuag tsis tuag ?
Hell No she wants a proper Hmong burial hell no. Those inlaws don't want to spend money on her.
There is no need for u and your siblings to feel bad or guilty. Your mother was cruel so yeah she deserves to be alone at the end!!!
tib txoj niag kev khaug xwb. nyoo muab nej pov reg tsw npam li os.nej tsw pub koj niam mug koj niag twb xa ib khauj rau koj ni!!!!.nej ro nwg mug lawm phov2 tau kev npam li siab ntshaw thov kom txom nyem tshaj kom xwb mas
Nws khiav lawm twb tsis soj tej menyuam qab li. Yam hais tias tej menyuam mob tuag los nws twb tsis khuv xim. Cov dab laug ces lawv ntshais tsam lawv tus muam tuag es lawv poob $50,000 ua kev cai dab rau. Lawv thiaj ntxias cov menyuam kom thaum tuag li niag maum dev ces yuam kom cov menyuam poob nyiaj xwb.
Cov me muam thiab cov me kwv tij. Kuv yog ib tug tub los ntawm peb tsev Hmoob thiab kuv xav hais rau nej hais tias txawm nej zam txim tsis tau rau koj niam txoj kev phem los, tsis ua cas tab sis ntawm kuv, kuv xav hais rau nej tias nws twb npam lawm es nej txawm hlub nej txiv thiab nej niam tshiab 99% lawm los muab 1% los mus hlub nej niam os mog. vim nej niam yog tus yug thiab muab nroj ntshav rau nej. Qhov nws ua phem phem rau nej ces muab xav hais tias yog yav tag lawm no xwb os mog. Ua ntej nej mus no ces ua twb zoo mus hais rau nej niam ua yog niam tshiab thiab nej txiv ib los mas nej mam mus os mog. Nws twb npam lawm es nej hos mus hlub me2 kom tsim nyog qhov nws yug nej los ib zaug os mog. Kom txoj kev npam tsua los tag rau nws lawm xwb es txhob muaj ntxiv lawm.
Vue Channel
Koj hais yog 100%
You and your brother can go see her
That was my father in law. He doesn’t think I am capable of being a good nyab because I grew up in a working household. Because my family has money, he thinks I can’t cook or clean.
Meanwhile, he didn’t want to work because government gave him $1000 a month for “disability.” My mil doesn’t know English so she stays home all day too. Not old enough for retirement and not disabled so no money.
We told him that even if he worked at walmart as a greeter he could make $1500-$1700. He said he’d rather stay home and already get more than half of that by doing nothing. Doesn’t let my mil work because he’s jealous too.
Instead, they go fishing and hunting everyday because he’s still capable of hiking… just not working. MIL babysits.
If he made an extra $500-$700 a month that is already $6000-$8400 a year extra he could have. But nope… he chooses to have his sons pay for rent/food/his own hobbies.
And he still has the audacity to tell us he doesn’t like the house we’re renting for him, or that we aren’t buying him the nicest things 🙃
Wow! 😢..... your mom was hella heartless
Txawm phem zoo lo nej yuav tau mu saib nej niam. Xav rau qhov nw ua ce yeej tusiab, tab si nco ntsoov tia hauv ntiaj teb no yus txawm mu muab 1000 tus hu niam lo tau! Tab si tus yug yus tsua muaj ib tug xwb. Tusiab ib txhia lo zam txim ib txhia
No DO NOT visit her. When they say the problem was only between the father and mother, Nah....it was between the kids and the mother too. She abandoned them, chose her own selfishness over her kids! So, at the end, she should NOT get what she wants...to be taken care of. I hate the idea that Mom is lub ntuj....NO, only if you act that way. Let her simmer in her selfishness. She didn't learn ANY lessons. She didn't come back to love you. She got kicked out. She got sick, her own doing. She now wants to be selfish with the kids AGAIN, and make them take care of her? DON'T do it. She doesn't get what she wants...not again.
Koj niam tej teeb meem thiab lub siab phem no nej cov me nyuam tsis tas yuav mus tu nws li nej niam lawm vim nws twb tsis ua nes txoj hauj lwm yog ib leej niam rau nej nej yuav hlub nws thiab tsis hlub los yeej tsis muaj dab tsi yeej yog li dab laug hais nws yog tus yug nej tab sis thaum nws khiav mus nws twb tsis nco qab hais tias nej yog nws cov me nyuam nej txawm tsis hlub tsis mus saib los yeej tsis ua cas li os
Koj nco ntsoov koj lo lus at the beginning of this story of yours. Koj twb txawj hais tias txog thaum ti tes ti taw kiag lawm, peb txhua tus yeej yuav tsum hu "leej niam lub npe ua ntej leej lwm tus lub npe" no nawb. Koj puas tau hnov Hmoob cov neej neeg txog leej txiv tsis hlub cov me nyuam thiab leej niam, muab lawv tso yoo tshaib yoo nqhis, tso khab theeb tim puam, khiav mus yuav niam yau mus hlub niam yau cov me nyuam. Txog thaum leej txiv tws kev, nws tig rov los taij nws cov me nyuam hlub nws. Cov me nyuam twb tsis ua li nej ua rau nej niam nawb. Lawv twb rov txais lawv txiv rov los hlub rau yav laus. Yog vim li cas nej pab me nyuam ko thiaj li txais tsis tau nej niam? Nco ntsoov nawb, nej txiv tsuas tsoob nej niam kom nws zoo nyob xwb ov, nws tsis yog tus muab txoj sia txoj pa rau nej nawb. Hos nej niam mas, kuj hnov zoo nyob thiab, tab sis nws tseem ev nej hauv nws lub plab 9 lub hlis. Nej noj nws cov roj ntshav. Thaum nej tawm hauv nej niam lub pim los, mob nws kawg kiag. Nej twb yug me nyuam lawm thiab, nej yeej paub hais tias mob npaum li cas. Nws tu nej until nej take care tau nej tus kheej. Nej tshuav nws nqi yam nej them tsis taus rov qab. Nej yuav tau hlub nej niam nawb. Tsam ces nej ho tau taug nws txoj kev ov.
You guys owe that selfish Mom, Nothing! The audacity your uncles have to ask you guys to help her & mention Karma! No bad Karma will come to you...Your Mom Reaped what she Sowed!
To the mom, Why be mad if ppl hate you for something you did that is true? And she has no reason to be offended when she created the hate for herself among the Hmong community.
Niag poj mecab laus vim qau hmoob tsis haib xwb. Cov poj laib lino ces yog cov hmoob ruam nyob tojroob hauv tsua tim nplog teb tuaj nyob america xwb tsis paub yuav txuag tsejmuag li.
Nope, you feel whatever you want. She is a terrible person. She used your father, and she did not even love you as her child. YUP, she deserves whatever it comes to her. Very selfish person.
Cov poj niam hmoob meskas es siab phem phem li no cia kom npam kiag
Nope muab pov kiag tim tsev laus she deserves it
A heartless woman like her deserves the worst. Just turn your back on her.
Even the starting of your story already telling me that your mom is not a good mom. She should not and does not deserve to be a mother. You and siblings did not do anything wrong and she is the one that decided to leave and not to love ore care about you guys and your dad so just the one that love and care you. It is not your fault for what your mom did and it is ok not to forgive her. It is her karma for what happened to her.
It will not be wrong to forgive and love your mom, you guys are your mom's children but that's up to the individual person. It sounds like karma for sure. It's only karma because your mom is just plain lazy, always looking for opportunity to not contribute to the family. Sometime, the birth parents may not love you as much as the adopted parents. Sorry, you kids have to go through this situation.
Ntuj aws.. poj hmoob ruam koj mas yog 1 tus neeg tub nkeeg dhau, leej twg hais rau koj tias txoj kev yug ne nyuam es yog tus neeg zog tab2 no na. Peb cov poj niam yug me nyuam mas yog 1 tus poj niam zog loj tshaj es thiaj li yug tau 1 pab hos.
OMG seriously. Hmong and their wordings..vim nws yog tus yug nej, whether it's the father or mother, they always use that phrase to scare you and makes you feel guilty. NOPE. He/she was never concerned or care about you, why should you be?
she left you guys to die. Let her burn in Hell. The ten commandments say respect your mom and Dad. The NEW commandment is love and respect the ones who loves you and respect you.
Unfortunately, drugs are common within the rich circle bc they’re mostly coke heads and it’s known that the rich are one of the largest drug suppliers in the industry. The rich meska ppl didn’t like your mom and are racist towards her bc she’s not in their class. Most rich meska ppl would rather have their kids married ppl within their class and race for connections and better prospects.
If I were you, I’d focus on my step mom for being there and loving the children that aren’t hers from birth. Not all birth mothers are moms and you have a loving stepmom that made sacrifices. Most Hmong second wives can never be kind and loving like yours, especially giving you her only xauv as a wedding gift.
This is going to trigger some of our sisters that despised our Hmong brothers. Instead of marrying for love despite of other nationalities, some of our sisters trashed our brothers. There's got to have some Hmong sisters here to defend her.
Damn…materialistic and looks don’t late forever.
Such a bad mother n wife glad u guys find a good step mom love her o ❤❤ glad u guys see ur mom wrong karma a b... O
Nej txawm tsis tu los yuav yawm puav khoom mus rau nws noj thiab saib nws thiab mas tsis txhob ua phem pauj phem os.
Cov me nyuam aw nrog nej tu siab os mog txhua yam koj niam ua phem zaum no koj niam thiaj li npam nej tsis mus saib nws tas li los thov nej muab 1 lub sij hawm mus qhia thiab hais rau nws mloog es kom nws nyob nws txoj kev npam vim nej pab tsis tau nej niam txoj kev npam es kom lwm tiam nej niam ua neeg ncaj ncees no os mog
Whatever situation youre all in we will never know. But prayers to you all. Whatever you all decide I am sure you have thought it throughly and even if its not a choice some will make and some will tell you different. You all know yourself well and better just know everyone will have their own opinion about what they will do in your situation in your shoes. We all go through pain and healing differently and we all go through forgiving and forgetting differently. Sometimes we wish we can just love again when we know our hearts dont feel love anymore so why pretend we do when we dont. You do what your heart desires to do. At the end of the day its about you. Not about anyones opinion its about you. We can only speak for ourselves and some of us have never been in your shoes to know why you did what you did. But i am sure you did whats best for you.
I can’t forgive your mom…she got what she wanted!