Yeah, and the fact that his laugh is so obviously fake and not genuine doesn't help... Don't get me wrong though, I really, really enjoy watching their videos.
Best insult I’ve ever heard was my suitemate sophomore year talking about his roommate. He said “all he watches is 80s sci fi and adventure movies and all he listens to is AC/DC and movie soundtracks. He’s such a Walmart brand human.” I’ve stolen that insult from him many times.
+Der Coreminister I don't quite understand what is insulting about it either, and I'm American. The only thing I can guess is that since Wal-Mart sells a little of everything (you can get food, clothes, toys, electronics, make-up, et cetera) they are saying that based off the person's interests they are unoriginal or something... I really don't know either.
He assumed the worst your not alone on that bruh someone called me and my friend lesbians and threw garbage at me her and are both straight ( into dudes ) best friends and co workers
Someone seriously needs to pick through all the DickeyDines videos and make a compilation of all the times Austin has made Jared nearly die of laughter. I wouldn't be surprised if it were an hour long vid!
I am a very, very picky eater. So this one time, I was at my friend's house and his granny gave me a food I don't eat. Very upset, she proceed to yell, "Even goats are healthier than you!"
I was with my SO. We had the song "Breaking the Law" stuck in our heads so when we saw a dude speed walk a red light on a busy street we jokingly sang the chorus of the song. The dude thought we were making fun of him directly and said, "Yeah. Well. My I.Q. is higher than yours!"
Once I stopped going to church and became a "real atheist", my friends parents told me that I was no longer welcome on their property. So, there's that.
Unfortunately religious people tend to get to... Absorbed by their religion that it ends up running there lives. I have a hard time believing there's a god when amazing people like Karl Stefan has to suffer.
@@MotivGuy94 lol nice memeage. But, thank you for acknowledging that. Like, since I've been a true atheist, life has been great! I live by the golden rule. "Treat others how you want to be treated." But, apparently, to some people, that doesn't exist.
@@sirzack0002 Because the way I feel about religion is I believe that there is a God but not in the way that The Bible interprets it like I believe that there Is a superior being out there
A couple of years ago my wife and I were going to the store and we hade her moms dog with us. It was hot outside and we thought it would be cruel to leave the dog by him self, so I waited ourtside with him. I sat on the ground and was looking on my phone next to the exit. This older lady comes out, I look up thinking it might be my wife, it wasn't so I look down again. She walks up top me and extends her closed hand towards me, not saying a word, I see that she is clearly giving me something. In confusion i extends my hand to her. She gives me 5 swedish kronor (about 5 US cents) and leaves. I looked at the coin for about half a minute strait. I did not know if I was supposed to be glad or upset. I still don't.
"Excuse me" "There is no excuse for you" -Mom, 2014 She was joking but damn😂 Edit: Holy shit thanks for the likes and shout out to my mom for her savagery🤘
When i was in hospital 4 months ago i had pnemounia on a crazy level. It got so bad i couldnt Walk and breath for a couple weeks and i couldnt eat either so i went down on anorexia level. Then i heard a doctor say ”is that a skeleton?”. It hurt My soul...
I'm sorry...are you okay? I'm available if you need someone to talk to...ik that sounds sus as fuck but I mean it bro...it hurts...I'm here for ya if you need anything...like...honest
The one insult that stood out the most was me being compared to a duck for an entire year back in primary school by everyone in my class, teachers included. All cos I decided to do a mocking sound effect of defeat when the teacher was handing out test results and one of the teachers nicknamed me Duckshaan. The joke went so far to people ACTUALLY comparing me to a duck from my mannerisms to my face. I was emotionally scarred the whole time. Cried a few times to. Pretty ridiculous. But it's the truth. 😞 P. S. Austin. Sending you hugs for that insult you got back then. Just cos I don't like seeing my KOMBUCHA BOI sad.
Dude i had the same thing in 8th grade, we had a school video to record, and during my lines the guy with the camera just kept whispering “troll” into the mic. It was before the whole internet-troll thing. So yeah, it caught on when the video was shown to the class, and I had the entire grade, including teachers, thinking it was funny to refer to me as “troll” literally until i left the school.
I love the video it's probably one of my favorites! I love to rant though so... 3:37 to 4:34 I agree 100%. I'm a Christian and it really annoys me when some of the self-righteous assholes in our religion can't accept people when it's literally one of the biggest parts of the religion! I do my best to be good, forgiving, honorable and they call me the Godless hypocrite. Stop using a religion about equality to "make yourself better" than everyone. We're all sinners; embrace your brothers and sisters! And also metal is great... And I don't sound like a preacher when I speak typically. Rant over.
I've been called a lot of things, but the one that stuck was simply "Squirrely." Because I know the person who said it meant it for me, and it was inspired by me. Not like other insults that are text book and ordinary in comparison. It's easy to brush off the common ones. They don't take effort or inspiration and mean way less as a result.
I liked the door stories cause I can relate so much cause I am that weird person that will wait to hold the door open even if your like 30 feet away lmao
So, recently, I had THE NICEST customer ever🙄🙄🙄… I have eczema (which is dry skin, for those that don’t know jic) and I work at a grocery store. So my eczema tends to “flare up” sometimes like it looks all red and raw and just downright disgusting to look at. So at work, I was bagging and I had about a half an hour before the end of my shift, and my eczema was flaring up BADLY! This older gentleman comes through my line and asked me what was on my arms. The eczema was also on my neck & face; and even ALL OVER my upper body & it looked like I got a really bad sunburn. But anyways; the man asked what was on my arms. I told him it was eczema. He asked what that was, and I said it was a genetic dry skin disorder and he LITERALLY said to me “Don’t bag my groceries! I don’t want you touching my stuff. If you touch anything, I will go to your manager and have you fired!” One of the assistant managers Janine walked over to come bag for me and tried to explain to him what it was and she told him that she had it also on her hands. He told HER not to touch his stuff as well. So Janine closed down the register next to me and asked the cashier if she could bag for me. The cashier Amanda said that she had it also, and the guy said “Fuck it! I’ll bag it myself!” I went to walk up to the front and the guy went to grab a box and SHOVED me out of the way! I was PISSED! Luckily, I kept my cool and just let it go. Janine called the managers’ office and told the manager up there that the guy was really rude and put me on the spot like that. The manager Ron talked to the guy and told him that what he did was uncalled for. The thing that sucks is that the guy was AT LEAST in his seventies so you’d think that he’d been around long enough to know what eczema was, and been more understanding and not be such a dick about it. If I was him, I would’ve been nicer about it and politely asked myself (ironic) to please not bag my groceries just in case if it was contagious or not. When the guy went to leave, I walked over to him jokingly scratching my arm and said “Have a Nice Day!” with the BIGGEST smile on my face. He was not happy and neither was I. So yeah, #FUCKTHATGUY!!!
Wow that's terrible for the guy to assume shit like that very rude good idea to stay calm your eczema is definitely not contagious at all the guy could've been banned going to your co workers to help you and gotten both managers is the best thing to do
Some lady in Walmart told me I'm going to hell for having tattoos. Never talked to her before in my life, I asked her to save me a seat, she walked away looking all pissed
In elementary I had ears that stuck out a ton and I literally got bullied in the bus everyday by these same kids. I’ve since gotten corrective surgery and left that town.
Was walking my dog one day through the adjacent neighborhood that’s very upper end and posh. Dogs, as they all do, take craps where they please and there’s no stopping it once it starts. So, I’m walking along and my 90 lbs. pitbull takes a pretty gnarly dump on someone’s lawn. The grass was so tall that it was nearly impossible to pick up her poop completely, so I did the best I could and got the majority of it. Five minutes later I was just about to exit the neighborhood; the entire time hearing screeching wheels and brakes all over the place to the point where I couldn’t understand what the hell was happening. Just as I’m exiting this random lady’s screeching voice yelled at me from behind, “ did your dog just poop on my lawn?” I, at first, wasn’t even sure what to say. How miserable a person must you have to be to go and speed around your neighborhood in a mini-van to try and find someone who’s dog took a crap on your lawn? That aside, I replied “I can’t be sure it was your lawn, but my dog did relieve herself and I did my best to clean it up”. To this she was like, “well you better do a better fucking job next time cause my dogs will run through that and then track it inside….etc” and it just kept going. Finally, realizing this is how she was with everyone, I decided to take off my shirt (been body building for a while and decided this probably was the best way to scare someone off) and walked right up to the window and was like, “K I’m not doing anything illegal and your screaming at someone for their dog’s crap like a three year old parked in the middle of the street in a minivan. If you want to handle this then step out of the car and we’ll handle it”. Peeled out like the world was ending and that was that. Just ridiculous.
I was adopted and raised in a Baptist pastors home, in 8th or 9th grade I was told by my Christian school teacher I wouldn't make it to 16. I was a bit of a trouble maker in the sense I was ratted out for drinking at a party in my tiny Kansas town and maybe caught with pot and condoms once or twice . Regardless not something you say to a 14 year old kid. I just turned 30 last week so take that Mrs Hinnman!
I once had a homeless man outside of my work ask me for money, I don’t keep cash on me so I said no and apologized. This dude had the audacity to call me broke.
17:37 I live in New York and every day at school when I hold the door for people it's like I'm just a doorstop and nobody acknowledges me 🤣 that's just how it is in New York
R2D2 oh my god that's so awful the poor guy goes through so much and being called r2d2 and mouth open too that's something he can't control that I feel bad for the guy
While going through chemo treatment I was still working my full-time job in a restaurant while delivering food to the table refused me to bring them food because they accused me of being ill and they didn’t want to get sick without even asking me why I was wearing a mask
Oh ya been like 6 years since then I’m all good lol but had to wear the mask to keep from getting sick myself they just assumed I was preventing others from getting sick
I saw one of my school's cheerleaders wear one. I doubt she listens to them but this was spirit week...on my birthday.....on Decades Day, so I allowed it. This was a couple weeks ago actually. I went as the 80s thrasher.....wearing an Iron Maiden shirt. Well ok at least i listened to nothing but 80s thrash all day, until after the parade anyway.
Had an older lady I used to work with call me "decent" and I have no idea why but it was the most insulted I've ever been and I was bullied my whole life
I remember in 7th grade, when my acne was very prominent, this kid who sat next to me asked "why do have like needles in your nose?" My blackheads were very dark at the time and I always had acne from a young age but it was 7th grade when acne was normal. My table mates all looked at him with shocked faces as he just insulted the emo girl of the grade lol. If anything I was embarrassed over how visible they were.
Girl at my school wore a Metallica shirt. I saw this and was all "oh so you like Metallica?". She responded with "oh no I saw this at hot topic and liked the design". Ffs why
Jared: And they're the people that are like "Oooohh, you're wearing a shirt that says 'Metallica'" *looks down at my Master Of Puppets tee that I'm currently wearing* Nobody says stuff like that to me, though, lol.
I was listening to slipknot when riding my bike to school through a Bluetooth speaker and I stopped at a store to pick up a monster when some random lady came and told me I'm going to hell for listening to devil music so then I said ok see you there
Im christian but im very strait forward about it: God: "Im bored, BOOM! UNIVERSE!" The end. I dont think he answers all prayers watches you every second, but he is aware of all presence. "yOuLl cOmE bAcK tO gOd SoMeDaY" like get that sheet outta here.
In my junior year of HS I left my jacket in a previous class and asked the teacher if I could get it. I had to run from the other side of the school and back, and bear in mind I have asthma and have other physical problems. By the time I got halfway through back to the class I was already wheezing. When I got back I couldn't breathe and felt like I was going to vomit. I asked for a drink of water and the teacher not only refused to let me have water, but also scolded me for my physical form in front of the whole classroom.
What an asshole. You should've called your parents and handed the principle a doctor report and claim that you could've died or someshit to get that fucker fired.
I'm glad you know about Oreos being vegan hahaha. Also, just because a company also makes non vegan products isn't a reason to boycott them. The grocery store sells non vegan products, should we boycott the grocery store? Just wanted to clarify that with Austin. Thanks for all the funny videos guys :) also, I would hold the door open for you guys hahaha.
"Ive once held open a door for an entire movie theater of people" omfg ive done this shit too. i was also raised to hold open the door for people and ive been caught in this "trap" of holding the door open for my family/friends and then the huge ass wave of people come pouring through the door and the people im with are trying to leave and im stuck there holding the door cause i dont just wanna let it close lol
I was sitting at my lunch table in high school with my friends and a couple of random guys that never sat there before were sitting a couple of seats over for some reason. My friends and I were talking about what characters we look like and one of those guys just randomly says "You look like an uncircumcised penis" to me for some reason.
2: "You know no one in this class likes you right?" A girl said to me in senior year of school. After I had already moved school districts because of stuff like that lol that one stuck with me even though it only happened like 1 or 2 years ago These were the same girls that made a joke out of this kids fallout shirt after a bomb threat posted a picture of it on Twitter and it went viral...it was not a good day for him we ended up having to leave the classroom because of that 2nd one: "you guys are idiots" after we gave a man the sandwich he ordered because apparently it was supposed to be something else. Also there was an autistic girl at the register so I'm sure that will stick with her. It's because of this job I don't like old people until proven innocent now haha
Im so glad I graduated from school as i heard shit like that on a daily basis to me or others, its all just a big joke. The teachers and the students who go their. Hope you're out soon, trust me. School is literally hell but once its over you will love life
@@grant9005 oh I'm out now been graduated about a year now and yeah definitely more happy. This happened senior year too which is the worst part. So at that point I was just like ok lol
Well in 9th grade I remember I was called a school shooter for at least the first half of the year simply because I listen to metal, even though I should every reason that says otherwise. One joke got me out of the school fast, and not in the way I would've liked either. It persisted on and off again into my 10th grade year, even though it was at a different school, though it's mostly because there are people at my current school who have friends there. I haven't heard anything during my Junior year though.
When I was a kid, my step dad would frequently yell out the window of his car at people "Go on a diet, fatty!" and other things along those lines, as well as encouraging me to do the same. These were just typical occurances for me as a 9 year old boy.
Ive discovered something, jared is a normie that got adopted by austin in attempts to teach him the way of the meme, but he still doesnt really get it.
When I was in 6th grade, there was this one kid who used all his energy to make my life a living hell. Despite this, I tried to be nice to him. One day, I saw him reading this book that I had read previously and enjoyed. I went up to him and said that it was a great book and asked him what he thought of it. He looked me dead in the eye and responded with "Go die. Go die in a hole." I floundered for a moment, taken aback by his tone at such an innocent question, before finally telling him that he should "take his own advice," before walking away. I still use that line sometimes when people insult me in similar ways.
Not really an insult, but most people in high school called me Jesus, just cuz of my long hair and beard. My friends however, took it to the insult stage, and my nickname has thusly been Fat Jesus. Though to be honest, I really like it. Thinking of getting a trademark.
A memorable one for me: I had a group of people following me around at lunch chanting, "Hail Satan " which actually was pretty funny, but I was trying to read, so I was a little irritated.
I broke my leg and had it in a cast and I was in a wheel chair my mother and I were at the stor and a little girl said what is wrong with him and her mom said. Stay away from that cripple
That story reminded me of my mom lol. She took my sister to guitar center for her birthday because my sister wanted a drum set so bad. So she surprised her by taking her to pick one out. Then my sister picked the one she liked most and the dude walks up and said... mam can you get your daughter I have actual buying customers in here that may want to look at that. We dont allow children to come play our drum sets... this isnt chucky cheese. (My sister was 15). my mom said well I would like to buy it she likes it most. The guy legit looked my mom up and down and said.... you cant afford that one let me show you the cheap sets.... my mom cussed him out and explained she had the money in cash and he just lost a huge sale. Then he tried to say sorry and begged her not to leave... she ended up getting a drum set from a store down the street lol.
That first class story has me laughing my ass off... something similar happened to me where a man tapped me on the shoulder and said "I think your in the wrong line" to which I responded "Oh, I'm sorry I thought this was the first class line, not the asshole line."
They stopped wearing their hats backwards.
*DAD STAGE INITIATED*
Fuck I feel this
They’re leaking dad tho
At least they didn't tuck their ears in their hats.
Whoa 666 liked don't touch this!!!
@@Fergusona92 or wear short sleeve flannels buttoned up
"Ew." -My doctor after I was born.
Lol
"put me back" -me after I was born.
Are you the real Shock Master?
@@seanglueckert8312 Same
When I was born, the mid-wife didn't slap my backside,
she slapped my mother.
Didyabringyabongalong Station, Central Queensland, Australia.
I spit my water when Austin apologized for the unintentional nazi salute. Laughed so hard lol. You guys are the best!
Dickey:
*Makes Nazi Salute*
"So Marshawn Lynch was at a strip club..."
Me:
"This is what I came here for."
You mean you didn't love the leftover stripper bin comment
@Ezra Sorrell Austin Dickey....
Rodrigo Fernández Like what the fuck where did that come from? That was hilarious!
Rodrigo Fernández Was
The lawful chaotic.
The biggest insult ever is you guys not being sponsored by War Robots
Hah it happened
they were
HEY GUESS WHAT
SAY NO MORE
“Don’t listen to him, he was born on a highway. It’s where most accidents happen.”
-Spongebob’s puppet
Austin: *breaths*
Jared: HAHAHAHDHAHDHSJAHHAHSHDHUEHSUEHHAHHAHAHUEHUEHUEHAHAHAHARHAHARHARHARHEEHEEHOO
Wyatt Underwood same tho tbh this mans funny
Austin: exists
Jared: ruclips.net/video/wPPfs7ZCAQc/видео.html
SanicStudios my god
Yeah, and the fact that his laugh is so obviously fake and not genuine doesn't help... Don't get me wrong though, I really, really enjoy watching their videos.
Nobody makes Jared laugh more than Austin
Best insult I’ve ever heard was my suitemate sophomore year talking about his roommate. He said “all he watches is 80s sci fi and adventure movies and all he listens to is AC/DC and movie soundtracks. He’s such a Walmart brand human.” I’ve stolen that insult from him many times.
AC/DC is fucking awesome
Walmart brand human....holy shit I lost it.
What‘s so insulting about that? I‘m german and just know Walmart is a supermarket
+Sean Ellis
AC/DC rules!!!! 🖤😈🤘
+Der Coreminister I don't quite understand what is insulting about it either, and I'm American. The only thing I can guess is that since Wal-Mart sells a little of everything (you can get food, clothes, toys, electronics, make-up, et cetera) they are saying that based off the person's interests they are unoriginal or something... I really don't know either.
An old man called me “ satans hooker “ I just busted out laughing and replied with “ how did you know” and walked away
Some dude in a truck yelled "DYKES!" at me and my friend while we were walking.
We're both guys.
If you think about it he's right
@@johnnyghoul8100 I'm confused by your level of confusion
He assumed the worst your not alone on that bruh someone called me and my friend lesbians and threw garbage at me her and are both straight ( into dudes ) best friends and co workers
at least it isn't the other word that sounds the same.
Someone seriously needs to pick through all the DickeyDines videos and make a compilation of all the times Austin has made Jared nearly die of laughter. I wouldn't be surprised if it were an hour long vid!
After watching Jared for years I've come to the conclusion that he is only able to do 1 voice to describe everyone lmao
He did the "old man transatlantic voice" like 5 times in this video haha
I am a very, very picky eater. So this one time, I was at my friend's house and his granny gave me a food I don't eat. Very upset, she proceed to yell, "Even goats are healthier than you!"
HellishBanana Thats rough dude
@@natedavid3873 yeet
He wasn't wrong
I'm a picky eater too and I feel your pain. I hate eating out with distant family for this reason.
Dude being a picky eater fucking sucks... So many foods look so good and I just can't like em...
My mom told me I was just like my father once
That was pretty rough
slightly aroused i feel that one
Same
I have gotten that from my wife and I am proud actually lol.
I get that from my mom all the time, and every time it makes me happier.
Yeah that one cuts deep
You've been posting a lot lately, cool
@Tre Turner sadly😪
I bet they like their job. I definitely would.
I was with my SO. We had the song "Breaking the Law" stuck in our heads so when we saw a dude speed walk a red light on a busy street we jokingly sang the chorus of the song. The dude thought we were making fun of him directly and said, "Yeah. Well. My I.Q. is higher than yours!"
Damn you met Ben Shapiro?
My mom told me I was failed birth control dose that count as a insult
The fact that your name is disappointment 7 is either extremely ironic and/or sad
@@Tamanegi no it's bc people see me as a disappointment
disappointment 7 well maybe that’s why
Does*
Also that sucks man
were you a failed dose of your mother?
"You look trendy"
-some random 5 year old,2018
appreciate johnny & sid pfp
Brutal. Kid's keep it real.
A 5 year old don't feel bad he doesn't know any better the kid probably learned that word from thier parents
Once I stopped going to church and became a "real atheist", my friends parents told me that I was no longer welcome on their property. So, there's that.
Unfortunately religious people tend to get to... Absorbed by their religion that it ends up running there lives. I have a hard time believing there's a god when amazing people like Karl Stefan has to suffer.
@@MotivGuy94 lol nice memeage. But, thank you for acknowledging that. Like, since I've been a true atheist, life has been great! I live by the golden rule. "Treat others how you want to be treated." But, apparently, to some people, that doesn't exist.
@@sirzack0002 Because the way I feel about religion is I believe that there is a God but not in the way that The Bible interprets it like I believe that there Is a superior being out there
That's harsh my dude. Sorry to hear your friends parents are such pricks. But I'm sure you have friends with much cooler parents!
MobileGameReviews I’m a Christian and I don’t have a problem with what Zach is saying but I am constantly given shit by atheists for being Christian.
The way Austins ears flop when me moves makes me tingle
This comment makes me uncomfortable
Yaboi Colvin same...
i don’t like this comment at all. nope.
A couple of years ago my wife and I were going to the store and we hade her moms dog with us. It was hot outside and we thought it would be cruel to leave the dog by him self, so I waited ourtside with him. I sat on the ground and was looking on my phone next to the exit. This older lady comes out, I look up thinking it might be my wife, it wasn't so I look down again. She walks up top me and extends her closed hand towards me, not saying a word, I see that she is clearly giving me something. In confusion i extends my hand to her. She gives me 5 swedish kronor (about 5 US cents) and leaves. I looked at the coin for about half a minute strait. I did not know if I was supposed to be glad or upset. I still don't.
Aelfons Fyfan vad roligt!
More like 50 cents, still funny though. (Annars vore en dollar värd 100 spänn).
I'd be confused too the old lady assumed your where homeless oh my god woah and forgien money I'd keep that
"Excuse me"
"There is no excuse for you"
-Mom, 2014
She was joking but damn😂
Edit: Holy shit thanks for the likes and shout out to my mom for her savagery🤘
God damn, your mama is fucking awesome. Also the fuck was she on when she had you then?
My history teacher used to tell us this
xJose Hernandezx my parents called me an accident once as a joke
'Your driving me to drinking '.
Mom: every day of my life.
Im in Australia and my 22nd birthday just stared 3 minutes ago according to my clock. Thank you guys, perfect timing hahahaaaaa!
Happy birthday m8
Happy birthday from Sydney!
Thank you from Sydney!
Happy birthday kiddo
Hey my birthday was yesterday.
The worst thing said to me by my teacher (not really rude) 'the spark of academia does not burn brightly in you' and that pissed me off
That is the most pretentious insult I've ever heard
He went to Oxford university to study 'classics', he's about as pretentious as you can get lol
Matt Jones What is “classics”?
It's basically studying ancient Greece/Rome and their literature/philosophy/archaeology/history and you have to learn Greek and Latin and stuff
Academia is brain-washing isn't it?
When i was in hospital 4 months ago i had pnemounia on a crazy level. It got so bad i couldnt Walk and breath for a couple weeks and i couldnt eat either so i went down on anorexia level. Then i heard a doctor say ”is that a skeleton?”. It hurt My soul...
Oof
That must've hurt your soul too so sorry that happened to you that sucks big time
The worst thing anyone has ever called me is "Dickey-Diner" :/
Sounds like a fun place to eat too
Thats a badge we all wear with pride here. ;) We are all Dickey Diners.
"Wish your abortion wasn't a failure."
Wouldn't have been that bad of an insult if it wasn't my mother who told me that.
I'm sorry...are you okay? I'm available if you need someone to talk to...ik that sounds sus as fuck but I mean it bro...it hurts...I'm here for ya if you need anything...like...honest
Jesus…
The emo Drake and Josh strike again
this is inaccurate
drake and josh didnt like each other
The one insult that stood out the most was me being compared to a duck for an entire year back in primary school by everyone in my class, teachers included. All cos I decided to do a mocking sound effect of defeat when the teacher was handing out test results and one of the teachers nicknamed me Duckshaan. The joke went so far to people ACTUALLY comparing me to a duck from my mannerisms to my face.
I was emotionally scarred the whole time. Cried a few times to.
Pretty ridiculous. But it's the truth. 😞
P. S. Austin. Sending you hugs for that insult you got back then. Just cos I don't like seeing my KOMBUCHA BOI sad.
Not trying to be mean but that would get annoying after the first time lol
Sorry to hear that dude. Fuck those guys, they're not worth your time.
Why the fuck is there a talking duck? Oh-
I would've transferred schools at that point dude
Dude i had the same thing in 8th grade, we had a school video to record, and during my lines the guy with the camera just kept whispering “troll” into the mic. It was before the whole internet-troll thing. So yeah, it caught on when the video was shown to the class, and I had the entire grade, including teachers, thinking it was funny to refer to me as “troll” literally until i left the school.
I was wearing an Avenged Sevenfold tee shirt, and a guy with bible flyers walks up to me and tells me “you look like you need Jesus in your life”
Oof
I think that if there’s any band shirts that look weird without sleeves, it’s Ghost shirts
oddly tru
I love the video it's probably one of my favorites!
I love to rant though so... 3:37 to 4:34
I agree 100%. I'm a Christian and it really annoys me when some of the self-righteous assholes in our religion can't accept people
when it's literally one of the biggest parts of the religion! I do my best to be good, forgiving, honorable and they call me the Godless hypocrite. Stop using a religion about equality to "make yourself better" than everyone. We're all sinners; embrace your brothers and sisters! And also metal is great... And I don't sound like a preacher when I speak typically.
Rant over.
Well said! I'm a Christian and I agree.
I've been called a lot of things, but the one that stuck was simply "Squirrely."
Because I know the person who said it meant it for me, and it was inspired by me. Not like other insults that are text book and ordinary in comparison. It's easy to brush off the common ones. They don't take effort or inspiration and mean way less as a result.
Somebody once genuinely asked me if I had Autism.
i sometimes purposley act retarded so when i do something smart people get all shocked
I actually do have autism and being called retarded doesn't offend me.
@@fredreindljr1996 Same
I would say, I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet. My mom's been trying to get me diagnosed for years.
I would just ask if there is anything wrong with that
You guys are so damn funny together! I was laughing out loud nearly the whole time!
I liked the door stories cause I can relate so much cause I am that weird person that will wait to hold the door open even if your like 30 feet away lmao
So, recently, I had THE NICEST customer ever🙄🙄🙄… I have eczema (which is dry skin, for those that don’t know jic) and I work at a grocery store. So my eczema tends to “flare up” sometimes like it looks all red and raw and just downright disgusting to look at. So at work, I was bagging and I had about a half an hour before the end of my shift, and my eczema was flaring up BADLY! This older gentleman comes through my line and asked me what was on my arms. The eczema was also on my neck & face; and even ALL OVER my upper body & it looked like I got a really bad sunburn. But anyways; the man asked what was on my arms. I told him it was eczema. He asked what that was, and I said it was a genetic dry skin disorder and he LITERALLY said to me “Don’t bag my groceries! I don’t want you touching my stuff. If you touch anything, I will go to your manager and have you fired!” One of the assistant managers Janine walked over to come bag for me and tried to explain to him what it was and she told him that she had it also on her hands. He told HER not to touch his stuff as well. So Janine closed down the register next to me and asked the cashier if she could bag for me. The cashier Amanda said that she had it also, and the guy said “Fuck it! I’ll bag it myself!” I went to walk up to the front and the guy went to grab a box and SHOVED me out of the way! I was PISSED! Luckily, I kept my cool and just let it go. Janine called the managers’ office and told the manager up there that the guy was really rude and put me on the spot like that. The manager Ron talked to the guy and told him that what he did was uncalled for. The thing that sucks is that the guy was AT LEAST in his seventies so you’d think that he’d been around long enough to know what eczema was, and been more understanding and not be such a dick about it. If I was him, I would’ve been nicer about it and politely asked myself (ironic) to please not bag my groceries just in case if it was contagious or not. When the guy went to leave, I walked over to him jokingly scratching my arm and said “Have a Nice Day!” with the BIGGEST smile on my face. He was not happy and neither was I. So yeah, #FUCKTHATGUY!!!
That guy is a moron
2:34
@@borbleborb4586 yes, their explanation is true, but there’s a difference between *that* and just being ignorant
Wow that's terrible for the guy to assume shit like that very rude good idea to stay calm your eczema is definitely not contagious at all the guy could've been banned going to your co workers to help you and gotten both managers is the best thing to do
Maybe he thought you were the absorber guy from Doctor Who
this is just the harsh reality i’ve come to terms with - austin 🤣
Some lady in Walmart told me I'm going to hell for having tattoos. Never talked to her before in my life, I asked her to save me a seat, she walked away looking all pissed
Awesome comeback wow she has no taste at all I hate people like that
The first class thing... hilarious!
In elementary I had ears that stuck out a ton and I literally got bullied in the bus everyday by these same kids. I’ve since gotten corrective surgery and left that town.
growing your hair out is way cheaper than surgery juat sayin, worked for me
Thanks guys! Now that “Hmph” thing is gonna be in my head all day....😂
From 2nd grade to like 6th I was called “monkey boy” because of my really bad ADHD and my very curly hair... my 2nd grade teacher started it
A teacher started that eekks she could've gotten fired for that I'm sorry dude I would've asked to transfer schools at that point
Was walking my dog one day through the adjacent neighborhood that’s very upper end and posh. Dogs, as they all do, take craps where they please and there’s no stopping it once it starts. So, I’m walking along and my 90 lbs. pitbull takes a pretty gnarly dump on someone’s lawn. The grass was so tall that it was nearly impossible to pick up her poop completely, so I did the best I could and got the majority of it.
Five minutes later I was just about to exit the neighborhood; the entire time hearing screeching wheels and brakes all over the place to the point where I couldn’t understand what the hell was happening. Just as I’m exiting this random lady’s screeching voice yelled at me from behind, “ did your dog just poop on my lawn?”
I, at first, wasn’t even sure what to say. How miserable a person must you have to be to go and speed around your neighborhood in a mini-van to try and find someone who’s dog took a crap on your lawn? That aside, I replied “I can’t be sure it was your lawn, but my dog did relieve herself and I did my best to clean it up”. To this she was like, “well you better do a better fucking job next time cause my dogs will run through that and then track it inside….etc” and it just kept going.
Finally, realizing this is how she was with everyone, I decided to take off my shirt (been body building for a while and decided this probably was the best way to scare someone off) and walked right up to the window and was like, “K I’m not doing anything illegal and your screaming at someone for their dog’s crap like a three year old parked in the middle of the street in a minivan. If you want to handle this then step out of the car and we’ll handle it”.
Peeled out like the world was ending and that was that. Just ridiculous.
I was adopted and raised in a Baptist pastors home, in 8th or 9th grade I was told by my Christian school teacher I wouldn't make it to 16. I was a bit of a trouble maker in the sense I was ratted out for drinking at a party in my tiny Kansas town and maybe caught with pot and condoms once or twice . Regardless not something you say to a 14 year old kid. I just turned 30 last week so take that Mrs Hinnman!
I once had a homeless man outside of my work ask me for money, I don’t keep cash on me so I said no and apologized. This dude had the audacity to call me broke.
Jared: Do you remember...
Both of them: HAHAHAHAHA
The song they played that when I was born
"When u try your best but you don't suuuuucccceeeeddddd"
Blow it up again! * laughs maniacally*
Austin : says literally anything
Jared : HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH
17:37 I live in New York and every day at school when I hold the door for people it's like I'm just a doorstop and nobody acknowledges me 🤣 that's just how it is in New York
Watching these videos make me laugh so much but it also makes me wish I had friends I could have fun with like you guys do :^)
One time I was next to kindergartener, and I said hi. The kindergartener replies with, "Slit your wrists and do push ups in bath salt."
r/thathappend
bullshit
@@reymiyamoto5717 r/wooosh
I was in rehab with a dude who shot bath salts in his neck....he was weird as hell. That's all.
Thats metal as fuck
I came here for the War Robots, I am disappointed.
Austin: says anything
Jared: Agressively slams table
In high school there was a severely disabled student in a wheelchair and his mouth was constantly hanging open, and people called him R2-D2
I know it's bad, but I chuckled a little
Not sure how a hanging mouth equates to being called a droid.
@@kaelanmcalpine2011
It's because he was in a wheelchair....
R2D2 oh my god that's so awful the poor guy goes through so much and being called r2d2 and mouth open too that's something he can't control that I feel bad for the guy
From New Orleans: Yes, the tea is exactly like that.
While going through chemo treatment I was still working my full-time job in a restaurant while delivering food to the table refused me to bring them food because they accused me of being ill and they didn’t want to get sick without even asking me why I was wearing a mask
That's fucked I hope you're feeling well now
Oh ya been like 6 years since then I’m all good lol but had to wear the mask to keep from getting sick myself they just assumed I was preventing others from getting sick
Damn that's horrible! Glad to hear you're all good now though.
That's messed up
Holy shit, I was cry laughing at the First Class part. So funny.
At least 3 or 4 kids in my high school that wear Metallica shirts and they don’t even listen to Metallica or metal
I saw one of my school's cheerleaders wear one. I doubt she listens to them but this was spirit week...on my birthday.....on Decades Day, so I allowed it. This was a couple weeks ago actually. I went as the 80s thrasher.....wearing an Iron Maiden shirt. Well ok at least i listened to nothing but 80s thrash all day, until after the parade anyway.
#posers
@@kaelanmcalpine2011 iron maiden isn’t thrash
@@rebelfiend1193 Yeah those ellipses were there for a reason you know.
Seen alot of people in my country wear Metallica shirts and they don't know them nor listen to metal too 😂😭
Had an older lady I used to work with call me "decent" and I have no idea why but it was the most insulted I've ever been and I was bullied my whole life
I remember in 7th grade, when my acne was very prominent, this kid who sat next to me asked "why do have like needles in your nose?" My blackheads were very dark at the time and I always had acne from a young age but it was 7th grade when acne was normal. My table mates all looked at him with shocked faces as he just insulted the emo girl of the grade lol. If anything I was embarrassed over how visible they were.
I feel you there I was made of for having acne too happens to everyone hun
When dines daddy said 'mommy he's a little different' it hit me right in the feeeeeeels my guy
Some kid called me daddy troubles. I have 2 moms
I have this belt and a lot of anger! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Girl at my school wore a Metallica shirt. I saw this and was all "oh so you like Metallica?". She responded with "oh no I saw this at hot topic and liked the design". Ffs why
Now you see my friend.... That's why steel toe boots exist.
Reminds me of the scene in SLC Punk! Never seen that movie? It's not metal, but it's awesome.
6:37 why did always miss that?! I’ve seen this video so many times😂😂😂😂😂
Jared: And they're the people that are like "Oooohh, you're wearing a shirt that says 'Metallica'"
*looks down at my Master Of Puppets tee that I'm currently wearing*
Nobody says stuff like that to me, though, lol.
The ending lmao “cmon we said bye”
I was listening to slipknot when riding my bike to school through a Bluetooth speaker and I stopped at a store to pick up a monster when some random lady came and told me I'm going to hell for listening to devil music so then I said ok see you there
*Slow clap*
Burn!
Slipknot and monster lmao
The real insult is you listening to slipknot
Jesus Melero no
Watching this at 1AM trying not to laugh and trying not to wake up my family
Im christian but im very strait forward about it:
God: "Im bored, BOOM! UNIVERSE!"
The end.
I dont think he answers all prayers watches you every second, but he is aware of all presence.
"yOuLl cOmE bAcK tO gOd SoMeDaY" like get that sheet outta here.
Living in New Jersey the holding the door thing is true I always try to say thank you but not a lot of people do
As a freshmen, these group of classmates thought I was a coke addict cause I’d go into the back of the class, put my hoodie up and go to sleep.
Yikes
The dude in the parking lot has be ROLLING
In my junior year of HS I left my jacket in a previous class and asked the teacher if I could get it. I had to run from the other side of the school and back, and bear in mind I have asthma and have other physical problems. By the time I got halfway through back to the class I was already wheezing. When I got back I couldn't breathe and felt like I was going to vomit. I asked for a drink of water and the teacher not only refused to let me have water, but also scolded me for my physical form in front of the whole classroom.
What an asshole. You should've called your parents and handed the principle a doctor report and claim that you could've died or someshit to get that fucker fired.
Damn dude. That's fucked up
Yeah if that were me I definitely wouldn't have let that slide.
Should've told your parents, the principal and other teachers. That's fucked up.
This channel is underrated
I'm glad you know about Oreos being vegan hahaha. Also, just because a company also makes non vegan products isn't a reason to boycott them. The grocery store sells non vegan products, should we boycott the grocery store? Just wanted to clarify that with Austin. Thanks for all the funny videos guys :) also, I would hold the door open for you guys hahaha.
"Ive once held open a door for an entire movie theater of people" omfg ive done this shit too. i was also raised to hold open the door for people and ive been caught in this "trap" of holding the door open for my family/friends and then the huge ass wave of people come pouring through the door and the people im with are trying to leave and im stuck there holding the door cause i dont just wanna let it close lol
austin makes me laugh when i’m severely depressed
These guys are the new faces of metal IMO. We are so brutal, talented, nice, and funny
It bothers me, just the MOST, how uneven that sound proof foam wall piece is.
Absolutely LOVING Austin’s Ghost shirt!
It wasn't meant to be rude but earlier today someone said "you're a Satanist, right?"
Lovin' the ghost singlet
6:36
DEMONITIZED
How have I just found this video? I haven't laughed this hard in years
I was sitting at my lunch table in high school with my friends and a couple of random guys that never sat there before were sitting a couple of seats over for some reason. My friends and I were talking about what characters we look like and one of those guys just randomly says "You look like an uncircumcised penis" to me for some reason.
Waiting in a line then going to the back and waiting again is what hell is in Supernatural 😂
2:
"You know no one in this class likes you right?" A girl said to me in senior year of school. After I had already moved school districts because of stuff like that lol that one stuck with me even though it only happened like 1 or 2 years ago
These were the same girls that made a joke out of this kids fallout shirt after a bomb threat posted a picture of it on Twitter and it went viral...it was not a good day for him we ended up having to leave the classroom because of that
2nd one: "you guys are idiots" after we gave a man the sandwich he ordered because apparently it was supposed to be something else. Also there was an autistic girl at the register so I'm sure that will stick with her. It's because of this job I don't like old people until proven innocent now haha
Trending not viral my bad but yeah idk what ever happened though
Im so glad I graduated from school as i heard shit like that on a daily basis to me or others, its all just a big joke. The teachers and the students who go their. Hope you're out soon, trust me. School is literally hell but once its over you will love life
@@grant9005 oh I'm out now been graduated about a year now and yeah definitely more happy. This happened senior year too which is the worst part. So at that point I was just like ok lol
Well in 9th grade I remember I was called a school shooter for at least the first half of the year simply because I listen to metal, even though I should every reason that says otherwise. One joke got me out of the school fast, and not in the way I would've liked either. It persisted on and off again into my 10th grade year, even though it was at a different school, though it's mostly because there are people at my current school who have friends there. I haven't heard anything during my Junior year though.
When I was a kid, my step dad would frequently yell out the window of his car at people "Go on a diet, fatty!" and other things along those lines, as well as encouraging me to do the same. These were just typical occurances for me as a 9 year old boy.
Ive discovered something, jared is a normie that got adopted by austin in attempts to teach him the way of the meme, but he still doesnt really get it.
When I was in 6th grade, there was this one kid who used all his energy to make my life a living hell. Despite this, I tried to be nice to him. One day, I saw him reading this book that I had read previously and enjoyed. I went up to him and said that it was a great book and asked him what he thought of it. He looked me dead in the eye and responded with "Go die. Go die in a hole." I floundered for a moment, taken aback by his tone at such an innocent question, before finally telling him that he should "take his own advice," before walking away. I still use that line sometimes when people insult me in similar ways.
I'll tell you the funniest insult I have ever heard. " douchebaguette
Lol the beginning, Austin you’re too funny
Not really an insult, but most people in high school called me Jesus, just cuz of my long hair and beard. My friends however, took it to the insult stage, and my nickname has thusly been Fat Jesus. Though to be honest, I really like it. Thinking of getting a trademark.
I'd take that as a compliment not so much as a insult really
A memorable one for me: I had a group of people following me around at lunch chanting, "Hail Satan " which actually was pretty funny, but I was trying to read, so I was a little irritated.
I broke my leg and had it in a cast and I was in a wheel chair my mother and I were at the stor and a little girl said what is wrong with him and her mom said. Stay away from that cripple
Wow, those people are scum. Don't worry. You're way better than them.
That story reminded me of my mom lol. She took my sister to guitar center for her birthday because my sister wanted a drum set so bad. So she surprised her by taking her to pick one out. Then my sister picked the one she liked most and the dude walks up and said... mam can you get your daughter I have actual buying customers in here that may want to look at that. We dont allow children to come play our drum sets... this isnt chucky cheese. (My sister was 15). my mom said well I would like to buy it she likes it most. The guy legit looked my mom up and down and said.... you cant afford that one let me show you the cheap sets.... my mom cussed him out and explained she had the money in cash and he just lost a huge sale. Then he tried to say sorry and begged her not to leave... she ended up getting a drum set from a store down the street lol.
You guys need a subreddit tho! Nice vid keep it up.
That first class story has me laughing my ass off... something similar happened to me where a man tapped me on the shoulder and said "I think your in the wrong line" to which I responded "Oh, I'm sorry I thought this was the first class line, not the asshole line."