Going Deeper - Shayne’s First Tell All! | The Viall Files w/ Nick Viall
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- Опубликовано: 29 мар 2022
- Today we are joined by Love is Blind Season 2’s Shayne Jansen, having his first official interview since the show has ended. Shayne claims to be saving it all for the Viall Files and he comes out swinging talking about the drug rumors, what went down during the night of the bachelor party, and how he felt like he had to go to the altar on the day of the wedding. We also dive into and ask about the drama between Natalie and Shaina, and how Shayne reacted to being called the villain. Next, Shayne talks about the very real feelings he felt for Natalie and if he thinks they’ll get back together. We then go to our mediation couple who are having issues with the polar opposite of music choices. They struggle to figure out who should have control of the aux while driving and if there can be a happy medium between heavy metal and worship music. We end with Shayne telling us where he hopes to go with next steps and what he would say if Natalie was there right now after spilling the tea and letting everything out.
“You can’t have a great hero without a villain.”
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Shayne's appearance starts at 7:22
Thank you!
I appreciate you
Doing the god’s work 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Thank you!
Came here looking for this lol
I hope Nick has Natalie on the podcast as well. Based on her Instagram story, there’s clearly more to the story.
Who gives a fuck lol it’s their life and not ours
Yeah....shayne was abusive to her! Its so odvious to me that he must have hit her.
@@tatianaragland4007 lol just stop.
@@tatianaragland4007 You're all over the comment section saying the same thing. You have an unhealthy obssession. Go touch some grass, please!
@@augustb7535 lol am so serious. He literally told Natalie he will "bury her". That's one thing that she stated on her IG that he said that is very Alarming to me. Then she said there's more that happened but she's going to keep quite for now about it.
If Natalie is allowed and willing she has an open invite to coming on to share here side
@Jenn He was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of Natalie's league, so that probably made her feel VERY insecure. Shayne is a 10, Natalie is a 5 at best. It was never gonna work.
I was hoping you would have asked him why he leaked the love letter from Nat on his Instagram and then deleted it!
you bashed her the entire interview without even knowing her side.. why would she come on your show??
@@kimberlykeller1194 lol
@@Cangirl94 bashed her?
The host saying to Shayne, “You and Shaina look like you fit” is a really interesting statement. I feel like that’s why, in part, Shaina previously felt entitled to Shayne. But being both white, blonde, and preppy-looking doesn’t mean that you’re automatically going to be compatible. Just like two Asian people and two black people aren’t automatically going to be compatible, simply because of their race.
He didn't say anything about race, they were def more compatible. Him and Natalie tried to get back together 4 times they are a horrible match
@@danimotherofchickens479 It can be inferred. Nick was alluding to the fact that Shayne and Shaina, by society’s standards, and based on their appearance, look like they fit. Shayna embodied this societal view by demonstrating an absurd sense of entitlement to Shayne, when he didn’t even want her. Shayne and Shaina’s connection was superficial at best, while he found someone of depth in Natalie. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.
i think people thought they had a lot more in common personality and (im)maturity wise
Yeah I thought Shaina and shayne were much more compatible and it had little to do with race. It was more how similar they were in personality/ the nature of their conversations. It had that flirtinesd edge to it more so than Nathalie and Shayne.
The fact that Shayne didn’t pick Shaina actually meant he had good taste 😂
I think Shayne seems very forthcoming and authentic and even kind, but he is definitely emotionally immature. Doesn't make him a bad person, but there's a lot of growing to do. Sometimes in our journey, we hurt people, but when you're immature all you can do is think about yourself, your reality and tunnel vision takes over. I wish him and Natalie the best...separately.
Well said.
ẞ
At the age of 35? He's done out here, he's the type that will be single till he's 55
Seeing his behaviors on the other shows, he has alot of emotional immaturity. He needs to go to therapy and work on the outbursts. It's seemingly dangerous red flags
Watching Sayne on the Perfect Match now shows everything one needs to know about the guy. He is not evil, but he is wayyyyy too concerned about what people think of him, quick to judge others and really not self-aware on his own flaws. He's still constantly looking for validation, he is still not listening to his partners and having these very emotional reactions, he has clearly not yet done the full self work he had to do after the show.
I loved their relationship, I loved how he picked Natalie over Shaina, it gave a very good idea of his character and who he pursues. I love a good cat-and-dog love story, when one is all goofy and emotional and the other quieter and more teasing the other, a couple of my friends are like that and it's honestly so sweet to watch, and balanced.
From my understanding perfect match was filmed around this time and he had just started working with a therapist.
I haven't watched Perfect Match but after the metaphorical beating he took after LIB I can't blame him for being hyper-sensitive to how others perceive him. Impulsivity and emotional reactivity are 2 of the 7 common symptoms of ADHD. I'm not saying that having ADHD gives him a free pass on those things, I just think it's only fair to acknowledge that those issues are harder to control for him than someone who is neurotypical and control for him might never look like how a neurotypical person would react. That doesn't make it any less important that he find ways to manage his ADHD that is respectful of those around him.
I, too, feel like I understand Shayne a lot better after watching him on Perfect Match.
You just listed a TON of symptoms of ADHD. Impulse control issues, rejection sensitivity issues, etc.
@@bonniebuckner3399 Yeah, the average person doesn't know that unfortunately. ADHD is one of those conditions that is very narrowly explained and represented so most people think a single aspect of it (hyperactivity) represents the entirety of it and it's so far from the truth. Even doctors have a hard time seeing past what is 'typically' expected in someone with ADHD.
love how shayne says “no offense” before things that apply to only himself, such a wisconsin thing to do
I know he said it once when it made no sense hahaha glad I’m not the only one who noticed
was thinking the same thing! hahaha
Every time Nick talks about Natalie, I always feel so happy for him to have found someone so good for him. He speaks of her with so much confidence and adoration. That’s love.
?
I agree, he talks about her the way we all want a significant other to represent us in their conversations with others.
Nick is dating Natalie?! What?!
@@immaculatenzimande9929 elaborate.
@@JM-mr6pz yes, not the Natalie from LIB though.
Shayne and Natalie are me and my husband. I grew up in a family that picked on eachother. That's how we show love. Lots of brutal honesty and teasing. This became my love language. My husband's love language was words of affirmation and we struggled a lot in the beginning of our marriage. After counseling, we got on the same track. We both tease eachother now. It's a big lesson in trust for us both. The most important thing in a relationship is trusting that the other person care about you. If your point of view is skewed to that person is always trying to undermine you it will not work. Unfortunately, Shayne and Natalie never overcame this. They were so cute together in a strange way.
Agreed. Same with my partner and I. I think both are extremely misunderstood, him more than her.
I agreed with you! For me they have very good chemistry and looking good together, they just need to learn about their love language with each other.
There is always 3 sides to a story, each person's version and the truth
I've been anxiously awaiting this video all morning! Haha!!
Damn! It's embarrassing how invested I am in this. I heard this a few hours ago and just saw Natalie's response on Insta, all of this is just so sad. I always believe there are two sides but it does seem Shayne is more concerned with how he is perceived above all, which was kind of obvious throughout. I watched Natalie's interviews, I have to admit, I was waiting for her to spill tea, but she never did. She seemed respectful of Shayne all while not bringing out any new information about their relationship. But then again, I think Shayne feels like he really is telling his version of truth, but it feels so icky for some reason. Shayne also posted then deleted a personal love letter Natalie wrote to him on Insta a couple nights ago to promote this podcast, and as an empath, I am concerned for Natalie's emotional state right now. I do think they are both good people, but it seems like Shayne loses his sense of empathy towards her when he's being criticized. Shayne, keep up with your therapy. Natalie, stay strong. They clearly loved each other. I wish them both healing.
Well said! He is so concerned about what the world says!!! I don’t think he’s cut out for the reality tv world.
This whole paragraph is gross. Natalie was so rude to Shayne from the get-go. She is fake.
I think shayne loves himself!
Your analysis of this whole situation is so spot-on to how I feel and what I thought. Natalie never ever tried to “bury” or “embarrass” him. She was always respectful and she even answered questions about him in which she somewhat sided with him and protected him, regarding allegations he took drugs or had mental disorders. At first, I really saw the love on both side and really wished they could have worked on themselves to come back better but now, I hope they both keep that door closed. I just think Shayne’s interview was straight dragging Natalie and wanting to make himself look good or get more attention.
"As an empath"
We have to be fair. I believe these are 2 good people. But just because Shayne is more open about his feelings, it does not make him right or given a pass on all things. And just because Natalie is guarded with hers, it does not mean she does not deserve empathy and is suddenly a bad person. There are alot of things that must have cut her deep to hear in this. And she must be hurting right now.
💯
THIS!! Thank you for the compassion and beautiful empathy 🤍 could truly heal the world if this outlook was more widespread.
I don’t think anyones saying that
Nick, you’re unstoppable at this point. You have us hearing from everyone we need to😭🙌🏾
Lol, Nick’s little “like what?” after Shane says I have a lot more stuff that I could say 43:50
I hope Natalie comes on and shares her POV. He comes off very defensive and lowkey bitter? Which makes it definitely seem like there’s more to it, especially after Natalie’s ig story in response to this.
Korea times forever
Natalie and Deepti have a podcast together now. It's called "Out of the Pods". I'm super late to this comment so I apologize if you already know about their podcast! 😊
THIS is the content I've been waiting for!!!
It's really common for people with ADHD to self-medicate with caffeine.
i have ADHD and drink coffee and don't act like hes been shown.
. Seems like he was on Adderall, not cocaine.
I don't get nothing from caffeine I can drink 3vups of coffee and take a nap I have adhd
@@0h_hi_mark well stimulants affect different people in different ways. you can’t really compare
Like any drug eventually you have to up your dose. Also it wasn't regular coffee he said he takes 5 espressos in the morning and 3 in the evening.
@@samanthacampbell4087 Yes, most of the time that is why people who have ADHD drink SO much caffeine, but caffeine is a stimulant. Therefore, drinking a certain amount doesn't give you energy, it just supplements the low dopamine levels. Hence the reason why he was probably consuming SO much. It took that much to feel energized and not just "normal."
"I don't want to bash her" after bashing her for an hour lol
In Asian culture. Complimenting people is VERY uncomfortable. And it’s not good but it’s very Asian. We are picked apart from our parents so we pick apart others. I see why she is the way she is
I had a feeling it was because of culture. I’m half Filipino and I’ve seen how my family doesn’t handle apologies and confrontation well. We all have different ways of interacting. I wish she would’ve maybe explained this to him and help him understand that’s how she communicates - but also would’ve liked to see her adapt to his needs as well. They just needed better communication and understanding.
@@donicaburton yeah definitely would’ve helped. It helped my relationship. But a lot of Asian people don’t realize it because it’s how they grew up. And unless you have a sense of self awareness, you may not even realize it at all
I don't buy this. My husband is Asian and he has no problem apologizing. He never insults me.
@@joannecleary249 yeah. And that’s really awesome that he is like that. But not everyone is like that
Not really.. Asians can definitely give compliments. Not uncomfortable at all, but they are also very comfortable being honest per se and calling someone fat if you gained a little weight, the older people that is and moatly only family does that lol...
He sort of had me seeing his side as valid until he said he recorded her and says " I'm not going to blackmail her" what the actual fuck? Lol
I think he's saying he has proof because he's anticipating that people are going to accuse him of lying. He's saying he's not going to blackmail her, but that she can't claim she never said that because he does have proof. Is that an emotionally healthy way to go about this? Of course not, but obviously the whole point of all of this is that he and Natalie are not emotionally healthy with each other. He also is dealing with feeling a sense of injustice for being, in his view, unfairly maligned, while Natalie is not held accountable for any of her toxic behavior. So he is being defensive and wants to dispel the narrative that Natalie was an angel and that he was the only problematic one. He wants people to understand that the fight wasn't just him being a monster for no reason, but was a bubbling over of pain about the ways she treated him poorly. So it makes sense, when he's being painted as the villain, that he'd want people to know that the narrative is false and she actually regretted saying no. As opposed to her saying no being this big heroic moment of standing up to a horrible guy. I'm not saying he should be dealing with things that way, but just explaining why it would make sense to him to say those things.
He also said that it was recorded because they were having a cute time, so we have no reason to jump to the conclusion that he recorded her without her consent/involvement.
Kudos to Nick for doing his best to be impartial as an interviewer. But, this was fucking sad. Is there anyone in Shayne's life who isn't egging him on or being a yes man? Can someone tell him straight up how to be a real man? I don't favor Natalie more than Shayne or Shayne more than Natalie, and as viewer this is fucking sad. I'm concerned for Natalie for now. Imagine falling in love with a man on international television, and finding out he would stick a knife straight through her heart as damage control.
100%. He did this to clear his name and make himself look good because he was one of the perceived villains on the show. The way he bashed Natalie and spoke negatively on her speaks to his emotional immaturity. Sad, because she never threw his name in the mud the way it’s bringing him JOY and satisfaction to do it to her.
@@shanayashanaya08 What did he say to bash her? The only thing I heard was that he was telling his side, of her wanting control of what was said in front of the camera and being more calculated, whereas he was more spontaneous.
been waiting for this!!
I like Shayne. I like Natalie too. It’s so interesting to see him all over the place in this interview. I think we got to see their relationship in the show and I could see the difference dynamics. Best of luck to them
Notice how Natalie never says anything bad about Shayne but Shayne always tries to expose her and talks negative about her.
Natalie is very careful because she thinks about her image and people like that will not reveal themselves on camera.
I have to add that there is probably a cultural aspect to this as well, which I can understand.
He is just exposing her for the two-face that she is. She gaslighted him and blamed him for everything, while portraying herself as a goody two shoes. She never took accountability for anything wrong unless pressed for by Shayne.
Natalie never says anything bad because that would ruin her princess presentation of anything to do with her (their relationship). One of them is manipulating the appearance of how things went down, and I don’t think Shane has the patience or mental capacity (no offense) to do it, certainly not compared to Natalie.
He's speaking his feelings and experience. The way one experiences things can be completely different. Whether Natalie wants to talk about her experience, is her choice.
@@Hefmod1 yes she strongly edits herself. You can tell she thinks before she speaks
I love your channel just found it 🥰🥰🥰 I think Shayne is a great person!!
Nick trying to get Shayne to say Natalie was toxic and jealous is just foul.
I agree. I found Nick manipulative and pushing Shayne towards Shaina even.
She clearly was. She was always trying to bring him down.
It's the truth though. She's as toxic as she gets. I wonder how she managed to trick y'all into thinking she was nice.
@@andreasolano1563 how do you know she’s toxic? Were you ever in a relationship with her? Both weren’t just meant to be
@@semiatobitayo599 did we watch the same show? I'm pretty sure trash-talking and verbal degradation was never an agreed-upon kink in their relationship.
I always try to remember these shows are edited to create the story They want to tell.
There's 4 sides to reality TV. The truth, the show edit, his side, her side...
If I was her I wouldn't keep addressing it. Let it die out...
So just something I’m noticing here about some inconsistencies he said at one point he didn’t want to go through with the wedding and he called the producers the night before to ask if he could bail, then he later says that they reconnected the night before the wedding and they were great and he wanted to marry her and that’s why he said yes.. just saying there are some contradictions here I’m noticing but still only halfway through
yes and i just read natalie's side on instagram she was saying he lied in this podcast and the reason they broke up for good was his flirty text messages with other woman. I think i believe natalie
@@greenhummingbird7910 I think he is the type of person who says i'm done but he isn't really done. I don't think he can let go
i struggled to follow what shane was saying in the show and i still cant really follow a sequence of events in this interview either
i inagine with add it can be hard to not bounce around when speaking so i tried hard to give him the benefit of the dount
This made me respect Natalie more, he seems like a bitter spoiled teenager crying over something he couldn’t get. She never said anything bad about him but obviously he thrive on compliments and it looks like his current therapist is not doing a great job based on this interview!
Yup he clearly is trying to spin the story and lie just like Shyana
🤨
He says at the end she's a great person.
Wrong. You missed the entire point of his thought process, there are two people in a relationship that need to understand each other. His past reflects the way his perception is now as a partner. Also, he pointed out in the interview that he felt un heard and he was still going to marry her. He had more reasons than she did to not go through with getting married. Natalie needed to stop and notice the way he was feeling.
She's a compulsive liar and now she's upset because people are finally seeing her true colors!
I can’t even stand to watch this whole interview. I gotta dip out ✌🏽
Why is that?
Appreciate you having shayne.
I liked Shayne a lot more until this. He clearly isn't a very sincere person. We see it from the get go, where he says drinks 3 more of these espresso drinks "at night" and when asked to clarify he says 2-3 in the afternoon. He clearly likes to exaggerate and from what Natalie said he would be extra flirtatious with other women behind her back, he did that on the show too. She was clear about him doing it, she would have wanted him to be open about it, which he wasn't. He led both of them on by making them think he was only and seriously into them.
From watching the show and seeing how Shayne interacted FROM THE BEGINNING with Natalie and every other woman on the show (obviously including Shaina) I knew and said from the beginning. He was falling for Natalie bc she is the perfect girl and the full package. But, his own insecurities and inability to control himself or regulate his needs for validation (i.e. how he would get into deep meaningful conversations with Natalie vs his conversations with Shaina being primarily sexual, lustful and flirtatious conversations) would be his downfall. He couldn’t realize what he had while he had it and his wandering eye would be a problem.
He commented about that…he said he would have deep conversations with Shaina too and that through editing it made it seem like he was just asking what she was wearing…he said him and shaina would talk for hours too…I almost feel like love is blind should only air live unedited stuff…because honestly we have the wrong perception for these people.
I’ve always always felt for Shayne. He has a lot to work on, and he owns it. I loved how the two touched on society’s expectations of a “guy like him”, when all he really wants is affirmation and compliments, like majority of us do. I think he’s a good person who is misunderstood. I love Natalie as well of course, I wish them both well! ❤️
How can anyone listen to this and think Shayne is a good guy?!
"I have it on video that she wished she said yes." "I hate what a great edit she got." "I'm just trying to be respectful"... So you're now blackmailing and talking so poorly about ur ex and you think it's a good sign of your character? Ugh this is gross.
Shane saying Natalie needs to “Man-Up” in certain situations…. Tells me all I need about this man. Would like to hear Natalie’s side.
My younger kiddo has ADHD, and it explains why I did not notice the body language things about Shayne until after other people pointed it out to me.
I didn’t understand why everyone hated Shayne. His ADD? His sensitivity? I thought accepting emotional men was a new thing, clearly not. I don’t agree with the way he’d gaslight Natalie nor whatever happened behind closed doors that we don’t truly know about.
However, he seems very authentic. He takes accountability and owns up to his mistakes; while being open to talking about it. At the end of the day, we will never know what happened as there are three sides to every story. I just don’t think Shayne is the evil person people portray him as.
Oooh, I wish they would've touched on the connection between ADHD and caffeine usage a bit! Caffeine can really help with ADHD symptoms so a lot of people who do not use prescribed medications (stimulants) for their ADHD will end up self-medicating with caffeine. And since caffeine isn't as powerful or as precise as prescribed ADHD medications are at targeting symptoms, it's not surprising that someone with ADHD would be overdoing the amount of caffeine they have in a day to attempt to gain control over some of their more unmanageable symptoms.
I had this thought as well. People who have ADHD take stimulates. I know a lot of people who actually have ADHD and use caffeine- as well as a high protein diet... I guess that helps too. It doesn't surprise me that he loves coffee.
I was literally thinking the same thing. As someone who is trying to get back on my meds but my new dr doesn’t have my records so I’m trying to go back to my old office. I’m using coffee right now til I can get back to that office and back on my meds.
Caffine actually chills out people with adhd. My doctor had me drink mountain dew every morning before school to help my hyperactivity.
@@ilovematthewfox my husband has adhd and coffee makes him so so sleepy! I wonder if there’s different types of adhd where some people are amped from caffeine and others are subdued.
@@taylorstanley2720 Good luck!! Hopefully you can get what you need soon but at least coffee helps a bit in the meantime!
Listening to Shayne is giving me anxiety lol I feel for him because I used to be like that and have that same energy and it's exhausting. Feels like you have no control over your mind. I stopped drinking caffeine and started weight trainig and meditating and over a couple years the ADHD/anxiety has been controlled but sometimes listening or watching people going through it still triggers
Sorry I accidentally pressed dislike on ur comment my bad.
I’ve never been diagnosed with adhd, but I do have pretty bad anxiety. I had to seriously limit my caffeine intake because it would cause my anxiety symptoms to skyrocket. I was a nervous disaster for years until I finally made the connection. But I used to drink it like Shayne. Quadruple shots in my coffee on the regular 😬😂
This was an excellent interview. I really enjoyed it. I respect Shayne so much. Good job to all!
I loved this! Through whatever drama happened I always loved Shane bc I felt his authenticity and loved his honesty. This was a great first episode to watch in full on this channel.
I always loved Shane too, give him 4 more years. Maybe some therapy too. Some Tony Robbins kind of thing and his best traits will flourish and hopefully he’ll be able to tame his flaws. I think this was very authentic. He’s a big teddy bear.
He was the BEST guy of the whole Love been blind so bad Natalie has lost a GOOD THING
We need more of these episodes !! I love it
HATE the intro part, JUST GET TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT TO SEE and debrief after. Saves everyone from skipping or having to look to time stamp comments.
YESSSSS
I’m literally such a happy and bright person but heavy metal is absolutely hands down my favorite genre of music. I wouldn’t last if my husband only wanted to listen to gospel music 😅 I feel for you guys..
The talk about the night before the wedding starts at 22:38
MVP
You talk so much man, it’s almost unwatchable. The show is about the guest, not you. You seem like you love to hear yourself talk and like you feel the interview is about you as well. This is truly the first podcast I haven’t been able to finish. Extremely irritating and annoying.
If you've suffered from Narcissistic abuse then you can see how many red flags are with Shayne. He really didn't admit to anything wrong here besides the stuff that has already come out. He claimed to have severe ADHD, a lot of energy, and was dramatic. Yes, he admits to gaslighting Natalie one time in the pods but he did that on their wedding day and the reunion. He also justified saying "I hate you" and "You've ruined my life" (which is abusive) by saying she had pushed him to that point. There is no justification for saying those things. Narcissists have a fragile high self esteem which is self-esteem dependent on external validation. They get defensive when their image is attacked because they are very defensive in preserving their self-image. They also attain a high self-esteem from seeking validation from others. They have a constant need for praise, compliments, and recognition. Natalie has been very kind in her words towards Shane in interviews. She has not attacked him. Shayne is getting attacked by people in general because of the behavior they saw on the show. In return, Shane comes out with his side of the story which is full of attacks against Natalie in an effort to redeem himself. This is all forms of narcissistic abuse. I'm not saying he is a narcissist but he is clearly showing a lot of signs of narcissistic behavior. I hope that he gets help for that while in therapy and can grow from that. This interview didn't help him at all, it hurt him.
Ahh yes. I’ve been looking for a comment like this! I see all the flags, as I endured narc abuse for 4 years. My ex was a covert, vulnerable narc and, minus the high energy, was just like Shayne. All the words coming out of his mouth make him appear sincere, open, honest, vulnerable, endearing, blah f**king blah. Unless you know better! He is deeply insecure, deflects blame, gaslights, manipulates, rages, loves being intoxicated(by whatever means), and is a self proclaimed butthole. I played a game with my sister while we were watching: I took a shot every time he showed his narc card or said something I heard my ex say. I had to take naps to sleep off the liquor after every episode 😑.
Shayne has tendencies but Shake is the real narcissist. Shayne has spoken about his ADHD already so maybe that plays a role into how he grew up and it shaped his weird mindset.
@@starchannel123 Shayne is scarier than Shake. Shake admittedly comes out like an asshole. Shayne comes across caring and like he is so self aware. A narcissist is complety different around the public. It's once you are behind closed doors in one on one situations where you see the narcissistic traits. A narcissist will go out of their way to make sure their appearance looks good. Shake doesn't do that although he does have some narcissistic traits. Shayne does come off as being charming but you can see the insecurities and gaslighting from a mole away. Shake didn't trigger my PTSD from abuse. He just came across as a douche. Shayne's behavior really triggered me. I saw so many things my ex would do.
@@marshallmays8171 its crazy how a narcissist will check off so many thingsbon a narc card and people still find them to be good. It's just proof at how they are good at twisting the narrative to fit them. It's so hard to spot it unless you've overcome narc abuse
This interview did not endear me to shayne. I liked him and Natalie on the show despite his reactive emotions but he came off very bitter towards Natalie and her “good edit” here on the podcast. I think he still has work to do on himself to become a mature man. I think he can get there bc he seems very sweet and authentic otherwise for what it’s worth.
Nick, could you maybe back away from the microphone a tiny bit? It muffles the sound because your mouth is directly on it, so it's hard to listen to when certain letters/words are pronounced.
he’s literally makin out w the microphone 🎤
It's not the mic or distance. Nick has always had a lisp
You both delivered in this podcast!! Definitely great
It says a lot about someone when they are more concerned about how the public sees them, than protecting the dignity of another. It is obvious Shayne did this interview to try and embarrass Natalie, and that is unkind.
I also love how he complains about how Natalie doesn’t defend him, but when Nick asks what he loved about Natalie, he can’t come up with a single quality that was just about her and not “we had fun together.”
It’s called a smear campaign.
Or he just wanted to tell his side
@@ecesternino when her mother asked him how he knew she's the one, he said because she chose me. Lol this guy never loved her.
@@marshallmays8171 classic narcissist behavior
I’m glad to hear Shayne is in therapy. It is going to help him grow so much and hopefully it will teach him how to regulate his emotions. Maybe switching to decaf might help too. Anyway, I think Shayne and Natalie are lost in translation. They speak different languages. Natalie being Korean is a huge factor in the way she expresses herself. In their society being boastful, loud, complimentary or too emotional is not looked at as a good thing. In fact paying compliments to people is considered rude, simply because it makes the person feel awkward. It is difficult to explain. Shayne needs constant confirmation of acceptance. This will give him resolution and make him feel secure. However, for someone who was raised by Korean parents, this is very unnatural. There is nothing wrong with Shayne needing this for security, nor is there anything wrong with Natalie not being able to provide that for him. It doesn’t make them bad people. They could work something out in couples therapy, so they can learn new ways of communicating and making sure their significant other feels happy, secure and fulfilled. It may not be exactly what they think they want, but you can create new avenues for your neurons to fire, creating a new love language. But it seems that they are too stubborn, too stuck in the past and unwilling to move forward. It makes me sad because where there is pain and resentment, there usually is love. For the record I like them both.
Thank you!! My thoughts exactly.
She is American and wanted to marry an American, but in a cloud of ignorant fluff due to always seeking validation from her parents, that has leaked into her perpetual neediness as a human. She found independence and he dodged a figurative bullet-- good for both.
yeah I feel like Shayne needed a lot of affirmation and praise.. he seemed like a puppy dog in the sense that he would be super loyal and fiercly love with someone who (metaphorically) played with him and patted him on the head all the time.
I am korean woman and I thought the way Natalie talks to her partner was very American or just something in her family.
Korean culture is very male centered so girls learn how to not hurt men's feelings. Like korean guys evaluate girls' appearance many times but if a girl openly evaluate a guy's appearance then she becomes B.
I heard many times that men are like children so women have to give compliments to men to get what women want rather than confronting.(it is BS in my opinion)
At first I thought Shane was being selfish when he was saying he wanted constant compliments from Natalie but seeing his point of view, I totally get it. If I had a partner who nit picked my actions, that would definitely concern me because it would show that they aren’t completely confident with me the relationship. Obviously they both had their issues but in the end it was clear they didn’t bring each other genuine happiness which I think they both deserve!
Yeah. This explained it better. I need words of affirmation, and if I was being berated, even jokingly too much, it would get to me. I might not react like him, but it wouldn’t be fun. It makes sense.
Yeah but did you catch the bit how he said all of his previous relationships had the same problem in which they did not give him words of affirmation as he would like either? This may be a problem from both sides, but I think it was more of HIS problem because in a way, Natalie would never be “enough” for him either because he would always seek that attention and those compliments. I understand her whole picking him apart thing and that’s definitely toxic to the relationship but he also perpetuated the toxicity by constantly trying to feed his insecurities and narcissistic values.
@@zubeidahpham1970 Yeah. That’s true. A pattern is everything. If there’s no improvement, then it’s dangerous.
See how he responded to that little bit of affirmation that he got from Nick. I think he’s way too needy.
This!! I really feel like Shayne’s misunderstood, and I love how they touched on his appearance playing a part in society’s expectations. I feel for him big time. ❤️
Wow nick you are really out here giving some solid advice ! Love to see it
Damn boy nick so proud of u 👍🏻 u surrounding yourself with strong women and ur advice is on point
Really balanced interview. Shayne clearly needs to work on himself, but glad he’s taking that space. As for shayna, nah… she’s a bad person. She treated people unkindly for her own self interest, and that’s not right.
..... answering all your burning questions. Hahaha I love Nick
The host kind of keeps interpreting and cutting Shayne off from describing what he actually loved about Natalie. That's what some of us want to know. What did he like about her aside from the criticisms? There must have been something else that made him want to say yes. You're kind of putting words into his mouth.
this still proves to me shayne is very immature and hasn't learned anything
Have Natalie on the show please. Shayne is so manipulative
Yes!!
Seriously. All these commenters saying they think he’s a good guy have obviously never been in a relationship with a narcissist!
@@morgankneip4890 stop diagnosing people you don’t know
A lot of what he’s saying doesn’t make sense
PUT NATALIE ON HERE it’s unfair to only listen to one side of a story.
It’s also unfair of you to assume Natalie wants to come on this show or is ready to share her side yet. She has every opportunity to share her story so I’m sure she will when she’s ready.
I feel like she’s smart enough to not come on this show. She seems like a very private person and she conducts herself with such respect and grace etc, I don’t think she’d stoop to shaynes level of tell-all.
@@mxxgxn____ but she's not above an ig-live according to all the comments here
@@mxxgxn____ that's because she's fake af
honestly should've bring them both!!!
I run a store in Milwaukee and Shayne feels like so many of my customers. The energy and loudness is so Wisconsin. I’m not knocking it, cuz people are generally super direct and honest around here, but yeah, he’s exactly it.
Right, I’m from Wisconsin and was unsure about him but once I found out he was from there his behaviors made more sense to me. That along with some good things he did turned me around on him. He seems to be a good guy, just needs some help/better tools.
Best kind of people. Nothing wrong with direct and honest people.
@@kellylsg yes 🙌
It's insane that this guy hasn't learned to use a mic yet
The thing is I knew right off that even though Natalie liked Shayne, it would not work. They didn’t seem equally yoked. As I watched, I was surprised that their love seemed to flourish and so chided myself for judging them so quick.
The thing is these two weren’t meant to be. The fact that Natalie said Shayne called her to tell her that he’ll ‘drag her down’ allegedly, just makes me believe her side. Not saying Natalie is a saint o but still...
Shayne wanted the world to love him. He hated his portrayal on the show. Hmm. He should have defended himself on the reunion. He didn’t. Why is he claiming all of these things now. To think I even pitied him in the reunion.
Shayne is quite narcissistic. I noticed this the first episode. He is the “vulnerable” type, which is why he was able to fool you all. He’s never takes full accountability-there are no buts when you do that. The constant need for validation, talking to other women then going into a rage when he’s called out, the woe is me pity parties, the obsession with how he’s perceived, the gaslighting, the manipulation, and now the smear campaign. Natalie was matching his energy with the teasing but he couldn’t take what he was dishing out. So he’s able to “prove” that she wasn’t who she portrayed herself to be because we saw those clips. This is textbook. I would say I hope he gets the help he needs but narcs don’t change. So I’ll just hope he finds a new supply and leaves Natalie alone. The pain in her eyes on the wedding day told me everything I needed to know. Glad she’s cut him off and hope she remains no contact.
@33:28 sounds just like my ex..the narc lol.
@44:55 she owes you nothing and the fact that you think so is very telling.
I was thinking this, too. Especially with this smear campaign now that she's cut him off. I don't think she'd do this kind of reaction with real people from tv, but he matches up eerily well with some of Dr. Ramani's informational videos.
@@deliriumbubbles yup!! I caught on right away because I’ve probably watched every video Dr. Ramani has made on narcissism because of my ex. A lot of people aren’t aware but he’s pretty textbook. The trauma bond kept them connected longer than it should have. I hope she sees what’s really going on, especially after this load of crap, and stays away!
@@marshallmays8171 I cam here to say exactly that 🙈 it’s scary how they all sound the same 😱
It was so frustrating watching this because the host kept interrupting Shayne!!
Honestly was a fan of Natalie and Shane, really thought and hoped they would end up together. I honestly never saw a BIG problem with their relationship.. both made honest mistakes even shown on the show. After finishing the season and watching all the aftermath I was kinda shocked to see everyone hating on Shane. I’m not a usual viewer of this podcast, but I’m so happy to actually hear Shane’s side of the story. Both of them are valid in how they feel and I resonate with Shane’s feelings ngl
I like how nick asked shayne if it was his decision to talk to shayna on the beach and he said yes but later on shayne says “it’s what the show wanted”. Suspicious
Mhmm!
Watching Shayne and Natalie’s relationship play out on Netflix really humbled myself bc I saw my own relationship with my husband. My background is Asian and he is Croatian. We have the same exact issues that played out and it really got me thinking.
I too have a hard time expression compliments and loving affirmation bc it is something I was not use to. My husband was told he was a super hero since his first memory and really needs that. We continue to work at this 8 years later. For some reason I feel like this isn’t the end for these two. They have to each grow a great deal and then come back to the table as two complete souls. Shayne, you are an enigma and someone that needs a lot of love and direction, you found twin flame in her. All the love of you both.
I think shayne should be there next bachelor …. Would make for great TV!
Shayne is not good enough to be the next Bachelor.
Exactly. It's a cultural thing. I've dated plenty of Asian women that have had similar familial issues. Sometimes it presents as neediness or clinginess, whereas other times it can present as being dismissive (like Natalie). To make it work both sides need to work on it together, otherwise it's just not going to work.
@@chrisr5649 Well, Shayne is also pretty insecure too if he needs constant reassurance. I dated a guy who constantly needed reassurance form me, but not in a healthy way. He was insecure about everything and had no confidence in himself. And to be honest, it was really exhausting and he needed a therapist, not a girlfriend.
I appreciate Shayne for expressing himself and talking about his experience. Thanks!!
I’m trying to fully immerse myself in his perspective (which admittedly is difficult) and I appreciate Nick having him on.
Something he may or not be aware of is he has a lot of self-pity and appears to play the victim a lot. He’ll say things like “I totally own doing this” and then use hyperbolic speak when reenacting anything Natalie said or did which makes it extremely difficult to take in anything he says without giant grain of salt.
Do I think Natalie tried to coach and control his conversations whilst also being constantly hyper-critical of him? Absolutely.
Do I think that he sometimes came off as needy for attention and that’s unattractive? Yes.
Do I think that he calmly tried to explain to her that he feels she’s too critical of him and he needs more emotional support from a partner? Not at all.
he’s shown us again and again as he said in his own words he’s hyper-reactive.
He gets angry, defensive and defaults to throwing a fit and it’s scary to watch which is why it’s great to know he’s taking his mental health more seriously and is invested in therapy because many men like him do not and it can end scarily for them or their partners.
I think he has a lot of potential to grow, to be more self-aware and to reflect on the reality of his part.
I would be interested in your having Natalie too but I do think she’s calculated and you’ll have a hard time getting a relaxed and honest interview from her.
If this isn't the truth! 👏👏👏💯
Exactly, the only 'Demonizing' aspect of the entire conversation is that she pre-planned their televised conversations..? But equally he is a highly anxious person and they were both going to be on national television. Maybe her common sense and protectiveness towards him and their relationship justified them discussing that kind of stuff beforehand to make sure they do their best not to be misunderstood by the public.
he's grasping at straws... 'i have video evidence that she wanted to say yes at the alter' - and yet he admits he called it off the night before and only showed up because he would be sued. so what does it matter?
i think his victim complex makes him incapable of growing as a person and understanding the perspective of other people.
@@thesohni86 took the words right outta my mouth
Re the ADHD discussion:
From my experience (welcome any feedback) Psychiatrist & psychologist is recommended, the former an MD & needed for diagnosis/prescriptions. In adults it’s manifested as ADD, in kids it’s ADHD (a life-long spectrum disorder). It’s not usual for those with ADD to seek out their opposite in romantic partner for that sense of security/calm routine, as Shayne articulated Natalie offered, sometimes called the “hunter & the farmer” duo; & they often go into certain fields that may involve risk, impulsiveness, high adrenaline: sales (he’s in real estate), emergency medicine, public safety/rescue, and the like. They may also have been verbally beaten down, constantly reprimanded for their impulsiveness/high energy/high risk personality, especially if diagnosed later in life, & may seek out consistent validation (which Shayne seems to say he requires & Natalie couldn’t provide).
ADD isn't in the DSM-5 anymore actually. It is just an ADHD spectrum. Medication is also not required or necessary for many with ADHD. The medication can be used as a tool to help, but often isn't recommended to use daily life long (for most - of course, not all). Most treatment comes with therapy to build your "tool box" to cope and manage.
Great, thanks!
I think a lot of this is over generalized. I have ADHD and am an adult (diagnosed as an adult) and neither me or anyone I know with adhd falls into nearly any of the above
Fck, this is 100% me :D
Hey what Tom Ford aftershave does Shane use? Just curious
I was on a reality tv show briefly and I still can’t bring myself to watch it lol. Also cause people sent me so much hate because that’s how reality tv works 😂 they edit things
Let’s get Natalie on. Why is it only his side
Not about sides, it's about each of their perceptions of what happened in the relationship through the hurt they both so obviously feel.
She won't. She can't be honest like him or take responsibility for herself
I relate to Shane a lot in personality and so it makes sense he has severe adhd. I do too, diagnosed at a young age. If I was on a reality show, I would be the villain.
Jessica from season one also said that she wanted to leave the show but that production either forces or pressures them to make their final decision at the wedding. I don't know if they really can force them to do that, but reality show producers are notoriously manipulative.
It’s a show. They signed up for this and it was entertaining
@@urmomisthebomb902 Ok. I'm not really sure what that has to do with my comment? Nick questioned Shayne's comment about "having" to do the wedding and I'm pointing out he's not the only cast member who had said something to that effect.
But since you brought it up, I don't really think "they signed up for this" is much of an argument since we are discussing, you know, real human beings with real families and real lives. I'm interested in watching some mild drama if the people involved have consented to it being recorded, but it's not entertaining to me to watch people experiencing actual distress. Even less so when you realize there's been a couple high profile cases of suicide by reality dating show alumni this past year.
Wow to see Natalie’s response 👀
It’s gotta be hard to hear Nick saying he’s great and authentic when she knows he isn’t. Plus I didn’t get that vibe at all, I get the vibe that he has no self confidence or self worth awareness, so he seeks that validation from others, especially ones that are looked up to. And since Natalie isn’t giving him that, he’s going to run her in the ground, even if it means lying. In one breath he’s saying she makes him feel safe, comfortable and secure and in another saying she makes him feel like shit. 🙄
Her response doesn't make sense. Why would she want to rekindle anything with him if he was as bad as she says? So she's either stupid or a liar.
Yes yes yes. You’ve described a person who has narcissistic tendencies, which he does.
As someone with severe ADHD and a hatred for whatever drugs i feel for him. I look like a tweaker 24/7 because I simply can't sit still or stfu, ever. Always moving, fidgeting and talking. Only drugs i ever did was weed,, 20 years ago. ADHD meds don't work for everybody.
When Shayne "confirmed" that he is totally done with Natalie? Yeah, I don't believe that for a second.
Me neither. If she called him today to say she wanted to get back together, he would.
Being from Wisconsin, it’s so funny hearing two Wisconsinites on RUclips having a convo. I find myself listening to their accents rather than the subject in which they’re discussing b/c it’s so rare to hear the Midwest accent in the media 🤣
Sean Evans from Hot Ones is another example lmfaooo
I like Shayne. But I am not sure he was being honest about his drug use. A producer from the show did an AMA on Reddit which confirmed that multiple producers saw Shayne use drugs during filming.
He was too specific about the sounds and the mic 😂 he was probably trying to cover it when sniffing lol
@@marshallmays8171 or did it minutes before the crew come in and get them wired.
That was actually taken down because it was a random person not an actual producer. Go back and check the thread it’s been taken down. Not saying he didn’t do drugs but that specific AMA was suspected to be fake.
I recently discovered the phrase/prayer, "I release the need for this to feel fair". it's freeing. ideally, life would be fair and even, but for Shane, it's not. and that's sad. I'm glad he had this platform to say his thoughts.
If you have ADHD, caffeine calms you down. That's why stimulant drugs are used for folks with ADHD
Ya wanna know why peoples' opinions are split right down the middle on Natalie and Shayne? Because one's a goof and one's a doof. There ya go, perfect for each other, aren't ya Goof & Doof? Out of everyone, it is so weird seeing Goofy and Doofy get themselves caught up in a hurricane of shit. Lemme tell ya though, I like ya Goofs. And I like ya Doofs. Endearing & entertaining. I do agree. They do both seem like good people. Fast forward, how'd it come to this? I will say, Doofus has more growing up to do than Goofus. I'm team Goof and team Doof.
This is my favorite comment❤
Yalll, trauma bonding is NOT bonding over trauma lol
As someone with ADHD and anxiety, cutting caffeine would change this mans life. It helped me tremendously.
I don't actually know what part of this podcast makes Shayne look any better than Shake! He sounds the same. I feel like he sounds entirely more worried about his image and how the public is viewing him.
I'm not defending him but mature and experienced women know that men same as women, need complements, reassurance and affirmation of their actions and giving this to men is a KEY to a happy relationship. As a woman, I wouldn't be able to be with someone who would constantly pick on things I do wrong. And this works both way.
Why do girls always turn to the window in the car when they are mad 😂 why do we always do this lmao
Anyone watching this should see Natalie’s Instagram story.
Shayne also leaked a private letter from Natalie to him on Instagram yesterday but quickly deleted it. He seems obsessed with his image and trying to expose her, it’s such a sad situation.
What did the letter say 👀
Can the guy interviewing let Shayne talk..Shayne is about to get to the juicy parts and the guy keeps interrupting didn't even let him finish about the Shayna part 🤦
I really wanted to hear Shayne out but WOW is Nick intolerable. I can’t stand him enough to even watch this. The arrogance 🤯
Was super excited to watch this interview. Only downfall for more is that Nick interrupts way to much!!
I completely agree! I feel he needs to let the guests talk a lot more than he does. I tend to get a little irritated with his interviews cause Nick talks way too much lol just my opinion though.
I completely agree. He talked too much, and he put words into Shayne’s mouth
Holy shit, had to keep pausing and taking a break from this. Lots of interruptions from Nick and at times felt a bit of aggression towards Shane.
I agree. The constant interruptions and the high horse type control/unsolicited advice was awful and annoying. He keeps giving him advice rather than listening to him. Most of his advice is bad too.
Shayne was definitely using something during the show. He was bouncing off the walls. I don't care if he denies it. However, I think he has a good heart.