I hope if other contestants see this and how respectful Dr. Honda is,that more will do interviews with him. As he always says: there is enough interesting content without overdramatization. And in this case: enough interesting content without showing what people don't want to be shown. Thank you Dr. Honda!
as someone who has been a patron and follower of you from when you had 50k followers, I feel a huge sense of pride watching you interview these "reality stars" and bring such knowledge and health into the conversation on a large platform. Bravo, Dr. Honda! Keep up the good work.
I appreciate how Nick calls the editing lying. After all the discussion around words like gaslighting, it’s refreshing to hear him call it what it is! It’s exploitation and deception for profit.
Especially within the context of this show bc the couples are isolated. TBC, when people use editing as an excuse for their poor behavior on screen, has some merit. Some ppl say the editors use what they had and show things you did, BUT they can distort those events by omitting context and resequencing events.
Massive props for founding UCAN Nick - massive props. There’s too many examples of these shows abusing, coercing, manipulating, exploiting and damaging the mental health and lives of the people they ‘feature’.
I am so happy that Nick told that dr. Kirk’ evaluation during commenting their relationships was helpful to him and didn’t hurt his feelings. This how I see this. Dr. Kirk does care and this is great and this is a sunbeam of RUclips content. Thank you.
Breaks my heart when Dr. Honda says Nick and Danielle's issues could've likely been worked through had they had a professional to guide them through it. LIB producers would rather have cast members divorce and end up heartbroken for "more drama" to keep up their ratings rather than let them actually thrive together.
I really hope you get a job soon, Nick. You are obviously an amazing communicator and your ability to pinpoint and discuss problems intelligently, and insightfully, is truly commendable. All the best to you in the future!
The empathy that Nick shows to Dr Kirk about the online harassment he received gives me the strong impression that he has a good heart and good intentions
Really nice to hear two men being vulnerable and talking about feelings. Nick and Dr. Honda, thank you for putting yourself out there in such positive ways. It makes a difference. And thank you for mentioning Danielle with so much respect and empathy.
The water restriction is incredibly shady and worrisome especially in conjunction with unlimited access to alcohol. There seems to be a masterclass of intentional manipulation and coercion in the pursuit of profit at the expense of humans who weren't given the tools to properly consent
It really seems like they wanted to give the cast just enough water to survive but not enough that they wouldn't feel compelled to consume copious amounts of alcoholic beverages
Yep, it's not that the water *doesn't* come, it just comes in such an amount and takes long enough that thirsty people are likely to have another alcoholic drink in the meantime.
Dr.Kirk I didn't know you went through that with the Johnny Depp trial! I'm so sorry about what you went through!! As a long time fan and Patreon I'm so happy you are here and telling your perspective, you have changed so many lives for the better!!
He mentions it but he doesn't go into details when he talks about bullying. I believe he was the mentor, teacher to The bachelor counselor that might have gotten her license taken away. I watched all of his contact for Johnny. It was kind of odd because he was doing it backwards or something but it was still great content. I'm going to guess it was Amber heard's followers. I heard they were brutal.
Feel badly is a stretch. I’ll just say that I’m not going to watch the show with the same naïve eyes - they don’t care or take care of the cast and sometimes you can blame the edit. That should make us more empathetic towards Irina and some of the other cast mates.
Thank you Dr. Kirk and Nick! I just sent Netflix a complaint asking them to provide better conditions for the cast members with water, food, sleep and therapists. If the producers receive a lot of complaints from viewers, maybe there will be change.
Unfortunately not much could have been done to help her besides some crisis intervention, and letting Danielle and him go. But the fact they kept using her for content is disgusting. Danielle needed her freedom back and to be able to seek a full on therapist outside of the show and no mental health support (advocates or therapists trained in crisis intervention) would be enough to ethically allow Danielle to continue. She shouldn't even had been allowed on the show. I hope they are screening for mental health much better now after that. That was so painful to view I'm so sad they felt like prisoners. Sounds horrible.
@@Sough having a crisis intervention specialist and letting them go was what the show could have done at the time to support Danielle. But crisis intervention is just first-aid. They cannot help Danielle with prior issues or give her the long term support she deserves for things that she had been dealing with prior to the show. Hopefully thats more clear, English isn't my first language so I apologize if I was confusing.
I have had panic attacks and suicidal ideation. You would be surprised the power of just picking up a phone and having someone safe to talk to. In person is even better, but phone is super powerful. In 12 step, a huge part of the program is just reaching out to someone. (There is obviously more, but that’s a huge huge part of maintaining a program, picking up the phone and calling someone). Obviously there is more in 12 step. But isolation is very very hard on our psyche. All that to say that just being able to have contact with a neutral third party, not to mention ongoing support with a third party therapist could be a complete game changer and enough so that she didn’t have to leave (although, maybe she should have to leave or be screened out, I don’t know). Every person is different. Was just thinking she wouldn’t necessarily need to leave because of a panic attack. Lots of people have them and if there was a tiny bit of support she could have either avoided it or been able to get through it and use tools fairly easily.
@@francinesanchez5402 I also deal with panic attacks and I am sorry you've dealt with them too. So just an isolated panic attack is a non issue if you can get through it with just crisis intervention and coping skills. I agree with you wholeheartedly. However, Danielle in particular has expressed that she has mental health issues that require more care than just having someone to talk to to debrief and descalate. She expressed to the producers she did not trust herself since the had a history with suicide ideation before. If someone is saying they have persistent suicidal ideation and don't trust themselves, the ethical thing is to get them help. Crisis intervention providers can deescalate and make sure someone is safe for the moment, but we cannot always be there. So the idea is that the person has actual treatment with a professional they build a trusting relationship with. As part of my job I answer a crisis helpline and have talked people down from suicide and panic attacks etc, and while it's great they have us as a resource to talk and deescalate...persistent suicidal ideation and someone saying "I don't trust myself" requires more attention than just someone there to debrief with. Of course, I have a bias because of my profession, but to me Danielle deserved more. Like that follow up therapy that Nick mentions, and of course her freedom to go back outside and engage in services, they should have procedures in place for that.
Can't believe the podcast has grown this much! I hope this helps more people find this channel and find it useful to their lives, congratulations Psychology in Seattle Team!
It is so sad but good to see the 2 of you have a conversation about the toxic and scary behaviour you experienced online and completely understand each other and be able to have that conversation that isn't one-sided because you have both been through it because assholes believe they can attack you for no reason it shouldn't happen.
Yes, what they did was TORTURE to these people. Cruelty. They should be rounded up and taken to prison -- all the people behind this. So glad this is all coming to LIGHT. I refuse to watch any other season and I SHOULD cancel my Netflix.
@@dazedconfuseds At least in Love Island they have water bottles they can fill up as often as they want! And that's such a bare minimum thing. It's wild that water would be withheld.
The water thing is absolutely horrifying to me, and makes me anxious just thinking about it! I've experienced something like that once and would've fled the situation right away if i could've. Controlling someone's water supply must be one of the most sure ways to control them in general.
I actually found it funny the water thing was stressed on in this interview in this way. let's estimate there are like 12-15 coercive conditions, giving them water would have changed likely few if any outcomes. as a professional researcher in the social sector having done research on the ground personally about these various human and social rights topics...and if I were evaluating this particular factor I would say it doesn't matter because they make it an untenable environment with all the other 11-14 factors. should they have got water? yes. was it wrong they didn't get water? yes. but when you are locked in a warehouse with strangers, detached from your phone and outside communication, no consistent sunlight, working 15-20 hour days, have access to and encouraged to drink alcohol, signed a intimidating legal agreement, under the risk of a $50K fine, surrounded by cameras lights and powerful people, being part of a herd of people who are marriage hungry, particularly with the scarcity mentality of not wanting to leave without someone, and lets throw in sending them to Mexico where they are isolated - not even around other guests, that the water factor might have made someone make a better decision, but I think the video should had stressed the compounding factors that really the water would likely have made little difference. at least my primary research conducting brain led to this conclusion on my years of experience working in human and social rights and inclusion. they are trapped and unfortunately water would not have saved many if not any. that I think that would had been a stronger, more robust approach to that part of the discussion
That’s literally a torture technique, it’s insane… insecurity of housing and food/water will clearly put peoples mentality in a state of panic/anxiety.
@@dariasmeh i think you’re right when you say water wouldn’t have had much of an impact given the number of other factors used against them. It was quite telling that he spoke of being denied water while admitting no one drank from the bathroom - Producers did a good job breaking participants down for that to occur. I’ve a friend who is a psychologist who used to work for a major television station and assisted with screening potential participants for the Big Brother reality series. They quite deliberately chose people with low level personality disorders for exciting tv
I find it really weird that people can be legally silenced against speaking their truth. It's really a dystopian concept to me. Good on Nick for speaking up. I feel quite put off from watching any more reality tv after this to be honest.
Yeah I was just watching "She said" about the me too movement and it's amazing that people can sexually assault someone and then make an NDA and then they can't do anything... Like, if someone murdered someone and then made someone who saw it sign an NDA.. I would think that wouldn't hold up in court. But for other stuff it does seem to work
@@Chiater Yeah I also saw many documentaries like that!!! (e.g. where people pay off child actors who got molested on set or something then have them sign an NDA...) It's infuriating! NDAs make sense if it's about keeping some company secret because something is in development at the time, or it can cause safety issues for others. But if it's keeping someone from reporting a crime of any sort, then it shouldn't be legal.
I mean NDA's are how Harvey Weinstein got away with his abuse for so long. Cause they legally were not allowed to say anything, even to a therapist.. like they literally can't even get help let alone get any help from the law
Agreed. To me, these non-disclosure agreements should have measures in place to allow people to report these problematic experiences without retribution.
It shows how jaded I am that the first thought I had when cast members spoke out was, how on earth are they talking about these things in public… they’re about to get into so much trouble. Things like NDA’s are so common these days that I don’t think most ppl even stop to inquire about what it is that’s being hidden. Heck, even rappers and rock stars will make their own acquaintances sign one before entering their home for a party. Silencing people as a form of insurance has become the norm.
This interview, this conversation is a HUGE breakthrough. I really think Dr Honda will have credit to take in the future of mental health care in reality entertainment, ergo, the conversation about mental health care as a human right, ergo, the mental health of humanity :)
This is so excellent to watch, thanks Dr Honda. I thought Nick was a really sweet guy on the show, edited well for the most part, whilst they edited Danielle to look almost unhinged at times. I'm sorry to hear that Nick lost his job, I hope he can find a new role soon. He seems like such an articulate and intelligent guy.
Hey, Dr. Honda i found you through your Johnny Depp Videos and I considered them very insightful. I would have never thought that this content affected you so badly. Thank you for continuing your RUclips career afte you been through so much pain. Your videos brighten up my day very often .
So proud of Nick! (And Danielle) I don't understand why people don't consider reality TV stars as workers and deserving of fair compensation and benefits just like everyone else? They're regular people, picked from the public, who's labor is making netflix daddy A LOT of money. Netflix and Kinetic have to do better
I am not sure how anyone can criticize Dr. Honda or his channel. The amount of respect and grace he has shown towards individuals from all of the watched shows is absolutely incredible. He is not just a professor and a knowledgeable psychologist, but he is a compassionate and kind human being. ❤
I feel like Danielle's mental health was so evidently in crisis on the show and that it was more than just a panic attack. It really was so alarming and hard to watch. and the fact that Nick was in that situation without any guidance or intervention (she should have been pulled off the show), it is no surprise that he is suffering some residual affects (as he says, more bad days than good days) of ptsd.
Very interesting and disappointing info in this interview. As a reality tv show fan I’ve always known that contestants aren’t always treated the best/put in the best environments, but as time goes on the exploitation goes deeper and deeper. Maybe I won’t be tuning into Netflix’s reality shows anymore. The last few years we’ve seen a lot of cruel backlash from these shows. Good on you Nick, I am rooting for you and your cast mates!
Dr. Honda and Nick - thanks for bringing this to light! I sent my contact info through the UCAN site as a legal professional with 20 years in labor and employment law (in California). I look forward to joining your network.
I assumed cast members got a year of counseling after show because every cast member talks about therapy during reunions and on social media. It’s not commonly afforded by single or married people. This is horrific to learn.
This interview was amazing! Speaking of water restrictions, I recall that some cast members from a 2013 MTV reality show called 'Are You The One' mentioned that the producers limited their access to water and food while providing an unlimited supply of alcohol. They discussed how this tactic was used to stir up drama. It seems to me that restricting water is an old trick for reality TV producers.
This was a fantastic interview. I was hoping you'd get to connect w/Nick. So sorry you went through that mess with the Depp v. Heard trial. Very upsetting to hear that. 💔 I'm glad it didn't deter you from making videos. You're one of my fav commentators.
Just wanted to say thank you for the interview, and so sorry to Nick that you had to go through that. 100% horrific and nobody sesrves that start to finish
So awesome, I hope more LIB people call into the show, Honda is a wonderful, very empathetic interviewer. Makes a big case for therapist being interviewers over tv stars
Dr. Honda, your listening skills shine in this interview. Would love to see more. Excellent job. It was fascinating to hear, and exciting to see something is actively being done to support reality TV cast members. Question: how can the public know which reality TV shows provide ethical treatment to their cast members?
Nooo :( Reading and hearing more about what goes on behind the scenes is awful, they really treat people so badly on shows, it almost feels immoral to watch them anymore
Yes, that is a fair question. As Nick said, there's nothing wrong with enjoying these shows. But we need to advocate for change, so we can feel okay watching.
Really moving discussion with Nick. I appreciated how open, honest, and brave Nick is, and I'm really proud of Dr. Honda for lending his platform to support such an important cause (UCAN)! Well done! ❤ P.S. Nick - you have a lot to offer! Don't isolate yourself, because you deserve love!
Good to hear this, rather than the PR angles of the show itself, the reunion, cast members' instagrams all trying to create illusions. Analysing the show and the cast largely through the lens of the parameters and conditions of the show really help us understand cast member agreeability, behaviour, pressure, panic, etc.
That’s a great point Daria. Those of us who follow PIS religiously have spent so much time watching and analyzing the tv show. It’s very helpful to have an insider perspective on what actually happens.
@@AgentPong ya I also only analyzed it through that lens. we are watching a show about what people will do under pressure, not a show about relationships and marriage. and the company that produces shows like this are big machines who have legal, production, PR, corporate, etc AND get some crafty celebs who are seasoned in this very deceptive industry to host the reunion and they are all working together to keep these cast members spinning in their loops and tizzies of the pressure. in short the cast members are in over their heads.
I really enjoyed watching this video. Thank you Nick for joining Dr. Honda and sharing behind the scenes LIB. I was feeling bad about watching the show as you were speaking about it, but realized that we can all still love our reality tv shows but advocate human rights protection for the cast mates on these shows. Dr. Honda, I love how empathetic, compassionate, and genuine you are. Hopefully you will have the opportunity to interview more people from these shows.
Great interview, Dr Honda-- kindness and empathy as a mode in your practice really inspires me in my life and work and also inspires me to be kind to myself as I try to heal from my wounds and recover from two big losses in my life that came all at once (a death of a parent and the ending of a long term relationship). It is your empathy and giving other people the benefit of the doubt that finally got me into therapy a year and a hf ago. And it is that open heartedness that brought a cast member to your show. Thank you for making a difference
I'm very sad for what you went through. I really liked you and Danielle together. I have a soft spot for Danielle because she very bravely shared her mental health struggles and it resonated with me. Cheering you both on regardless of what life has in store for you two individually and together. ❤ proud of the work you're doing to help others.
Dr Kirk, I feel really sad that people attacked you virtual after uploading a video about an open case of a celebrity court case and you shared your professional experience and objective interpretation. Especially I feel sad when people get attacked who are making this world better with sharing their wisdom and want to help people to understand our human species and our human experience on this earth better. Of course you understand the background behind their behaviour as an expert but still you are a human and it’s normal get affected from attacks. Really really sad and I was crying for a while today because I am so tired of people who attack people who really want to make humans better and really care about the health so we create a better world and building bridges to each other. ❤
What a beautiful fight for reality tv participants Nick has entered. I wish him nothing but success with his movement. Thank you doctor Honda for holding space for compassion and overall mental health🙏
This was a great video! Thank you for interviewing and giving Nick a voice. I actually chose not to watch the most recent Love Is Blind, because of the things Nick and others have brought to light about the show. I hope that real change happens. Human rights are so important, and what he and the organization he is apart of is doing is so needed.
I really hope Nick can pick up traction with Ucan foundation! Also, I totally agree that LIB Japan was plenty entertaining! I know not everyone agrees but I personally would love to see the US version of the show move more in that direction. Where couples can breakup before the alter without threats of getting sued because of contract violations, etc. Also, yes, give them unlimited bottled/purified water and meet all their dietary whims...it shouldn't be an issue for Netflix or any production company on this scale to accommodate such basic/minor requests. These are "first world" problems - true, the mega rich entertainment industry in the US is well equipped to deal with first world problems. They have no excuse to abuse and exploit. Cheers!
Wow! So proud of him for having watched some of your reviews of his season and being able to agree and recognize (without blaming himself) some of the bad patterns they had going.. AND they were some of the best ones! As far as interviewees you could have had I think he's definitely in my top 3 I would have wanted to hear from, just as a mature, level headed and seemingly nice person. Ahh! This is so good! Thaaaank yooooou
Thank you Dr Honda for hosting this and thank you Nick for coming on to the interview and being very honest and starting the foundation. I think all these topics are extremely important and I'm so glad there is someone out there acting on it and people supporting the movement.
It’s so sad that Dr. H experienced such hardship with the internet bullying, especially because he’s trying to put good out into the world. My husband went through similar online and it can be so terrible for people. Probably why I never comment on RUclips anywhere other than this channel. I don’t want him to get bullied :(
I was on a reality show 20 yrs ago in Australia and it was exactly the same. What I've learned is that some people are just fine and even enjoy it but for people like me and Nic the unfairness and the not knowing and the whole thing it just is an awful experience that I wish I'd not done. But again for many people it's fine they can cognitive dissonance or whatever but for other types of people like me it just was an awful experience. I think it's because that the truth is not the truth and you have to lie to be successful even if it's a lie of omission
This interview was so good. I learned so much and is so difficult from podcasts and different interviews. They had a true conversation without judgment.
Thank you so much ! You are (both of you) amazing human beings ❤❤ Dr Honda I am a new follower of your channel and I have been doing therapy for more than a year, your insights are more than helpful Nick is also an amazing communicator and seems to be kind and loving 🥰 Thank you for this valuable discussion and my heart is hurting when I hear the amount of abuse and bullying you have been going through, so sorry to hear that
The water thing is SUCH a good point and I’m glad Dr. Honda talked more about it. I think most of us can relate to when we go to a restaurant and no one waits on you or gives you your food or drink when you are hungry and thirsty. Everyone is busy, but you are trying to get their attention. Your mood deteriorates big time. Obviously a little different. But… I think it’s related, when trying to relate to how that feels. The mood deterioration and the helplessness/lack of control. And in that situation, you can walk out or sometimes even grab your own pitcher of water. 🤷♀️
I am out of words... The amount of admiration for Nick and dr. Kirk I have is huge. It must have taken a lot to be so vulnerable. Huge admiration and respect and thank you for an amazing interview!
This was so insightful as always Dr. Honda. Thank you for always bringing light to many situations I feel most of us are unaware of. This was an amazing interview with very thoughtful questions.
Wow. Nick - Thanks so much for your vulnerability and courage to talk about you experience both on the show and after. I’m sorry you and others had that experience 😢 Great interview!
I am discusting to hear about people calling your board omg. I didnt know about that. Loved your amber/jonny commentary it was really educationnal. Like, i have way more compasion for people now cause of your reaction to things like that.
I have never ever in 10 years of being on RUclips, watching videos, heard someone asking "Did I hurt your feelings?" OMG, I can't believe this actually happened!
❤Bravo to everything both of you said, not only the analysis on corporate exploration but also the lies and how everyone should be much much more respectful, emphatic and humaine to participants.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
thank you for a thoughtful discussion about the ucan foundation. Good interview and information. I feel like I definitely understand it much better now. Also, I agree with Nick when he said that it seems like you actually care when you comment on shows. I think that's what draws me to your channel so often.
@@PsychologyInSeattle I dont know if they (production) are smart and Machiavellian enough for that. The no food thing is probably for the same reason. People who are desperate for fluids will have no choice but to drink alcohol and it will all be on empty stomach, so even those with good self moderation will get drunk. I've never been a part of any production at all so maybe I underestimate them. I wonder how people struggling with past addictions handle this 😥
I think it’s important to note the fact that their public eye training instructs them to “delete [negative comments] and block them.” I am a person who really reads through comment sections, and the SECOND people pick up on a public figure deleting comments/blocking those commentors, it’s an instant attack on that person as if it’s a character flaw, or a crime that they’ve been caught in. People will even brag on other forms of social media that this or that public figure blocked them. Just an observation!
I encourage anyone to shut down social media or delete negative comments (actually hire someone to). Anyone criticizing someone for doing that is part of the problem. We don’t have to listen to hate.
Great interview, so cool to see you get to chat with a cast member! Nick always came across as very intelligent and kind, I’m sad he and Danielle didn’t find forever love together after being through so much. I wonder if production is trying to force couples to over commit to one another by manufacturing a situation where they are bonded by the trauma of the experience. I hope nick is able to find some comfort and closure in this work, it seems like a cause in need of some champions so good for him! I applaud your sensitivity with this conversation and editing out the portion he decided he would rather keep between you, very professional and understanding of you - not that I’d expect anything less 😅
![Chino Pacas - Modo Capone (with Drake & JOP) [Video Visualizador Oficial]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Zoc75M8Swhc/mqdefault.jpg)
The first interview with a cast member! Thank you Nick for coming on and thank you Dr Honda for creating the space to talk with him! 😊
@raina :) so true! Kirk has been on Jessica’s channel too. It was so good & made me wonder if he has done other guest appearances 😊
I hope if other contestants see this and how respectful Dr. Honda is,that more will do interviews with him. As he always says: there is enough interesting content without overdramatization. And in this case: enough interesting content without showing what people don't want to be shown.
Thank you Dr. Honda!
@@akplmn thank you! I didn’t know about it, I’ll have to check that out!
as someone who has been a patron and follower of you from when you had 50k followers, I feel a huge sense of pride watching you interview these "reality stars" and bring such knowledge and health into the conversation on a large platform. Bravo, Dr. Honda! Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Jenna! And thanks for being with us for so long - I'm always happy to meet a long-time deserving listener.
I just miss the 90 day fiance and Darcey and Stacey reviews
I appreciate how Nick calls the editing lying. After all the discussion around words like gaslighting, it’s refreshing to hear him call it what it is! It’s exploitation and deception for profit.
Especially within the context of this show bc the couples are isolated. TBC, when people use editing as an excuse for their poor behavior on screen, has some merit. Some ppl say the editors use what they had and show things you did, BUT they can distort those events by omitting context and resequencing events.
Massive props for founding UCAN Nick - massive props. There’s too many examples of these shows abusing, coercing, manipulating, exploiting and damaging the mental health and lives of the people they ‘feature’.
Agreed!
I am so happy that Nick told that dr. Kirk’ evaluation during commenting their relationships was helpful to him and didn’t hurt his feelings. This how I see this. Dr. Kirk does care and this is great and this is a sunbeam of RUclips content. Thank you.
Nick, I’m so sorry that they made the experience so awful for you. So proud of you for helping start UCAN and advocating for yourself and others!
Breaks my heart when Dr. Honda says Nick and Danielle's issues could've likely been worked through had they had a professional to guide them through it. LIB producers would rather have cast members divorce and end up heartbroken for "more drama" to keep up their ratings rather than let them actually thrive together.
I really hope you get a job soon, Nick. You are obviously an amazing communicator and your ability to pinpoint and discuss problems intelligently, and insightfully, is truly commendable. All the best to you in the future!
The empathy that Nick shows to Dr Kirk about the online harassment he received gives me the strong impression that he has a good heart and good intentions
Really nice to hear two men being vulnerable and talking about feelings. Nick and Dr. Honda, thank you for putting yourself out there in such positive ways. It makes a difference.
And thank you for mentioning Danielle with so much respect and empathy.
thank you for highlighting labor rights and reality tv is not exempt from this! stand with WGA!
Yes!
Wow, I can't believe you finally got to interview a cast member, I hope you get to do this more often!
The water restriction is incredibly shady and worrisome especially in conjunction with unlimited access to alcohol. There seems to be a masterclass of intentional manipulation and coercion in the pursuit of profit at the expense of humans who weren't given the tools to properly consent
It really seems like they wanted to give the cast just enough water to survive but not enough that they wouldn't feel compelled to consume copious amounts of alcoholic beverages
Yep, it's not that the water *doesn't* come, it just comes in such an amount and takes long enough that thirsty people are likely to have another alcoholic drink in the meantime.
Dr.Kirk I didn't know you went through that with the Johnny Depp trial! I'm so sorry about what you went through!! As a long time fan and Patreon I'm so happy you are here and telling your perspective, you have changed so many lives for the better!!
I had no idea either- i feel terrible for him.
He mentions it but he doesn't go into details when he talks about bullying. I believe he was the mentor, teacher to The bachelor counselor that might have gotten her license taken away. I watched all of his contact for Johnny. It was kind of odd because he was doing it backwards or something but it was still great content. I'm going to guess it was Amber heard's followers. I heard they were brutal.
I feel bad about watching this show now… And then to think about how much hate most people on this show get after it airs. Must be really isolating.
My thoughts exactly- I feel badly too
Yeah, I’m reevaluating watching and supporting it until they change things.
Feel badly is a stretch. I’ll just say that I’m not going to watch the show with the same naïve eyes - they don’t care or take care of the cast and sometimes you can blame the edit. That should make us more empathetic towards Irina and some of the other cast mates.
Yeah, I'm hoping that the producer will change their ways, so we can enjoy these shows without feeling like we're part of the problem.
This may make a change hopefully !!!!!
I assumed the treatment of these people was not ideal but I didn’t realize it was so dystopian. This is atrocious
Completly
been waiting for the day that you interview a LIB cast member! Can’t wait!
Same!!!
Thank you Dr. Kirk and Nick! I just sent Netflix a complaint asking them to provide better conditions for the cast members with water, food, sleep and therapists. If the producers receive a lot of complaints from viewers, maybe there will be change.
Great idea!! I’m about halfway through this and sheesh it’s unreal
Wow the event of Danielle's panic attack and how producers treated both of them. Pretty disgusting
Unfortunately not much could have been done to help her besides some crisis intervention, and letting Danielle and him go. But the fact they kept using her for content is disgusting.
Danielle needed her freedom back and to be able to seek a full on therapist outside of the show and no mental health support (advocates or therapists trained in crisis intervention) would be enough to ethically allow Danielle to continue. She shouldn't even had been allowed on the show. I hope they are screening for mental health much better now after that. That was so painful to view I'm so sad they felt like prisoners. Sounds horrible.
So not much can be done other than a lot of things that could have been done
@@Sough having a crisis intervention specialist and letting them go was what the show could have done at the time to support Danielle.
But crisis intervention is just first-aid. They cannot help Danielle with prior issues or give her the long term support she deserves for things that she had been dealing with prior to the show.
Hopefully thats more clear, English isn't my first language so I apologize if I was confusing.
I have had panic attacks and suicidal ideation.
You would be surprised the power of just picking up a phone and having someone safe to talk to. In person is even better, but phone is super powerful. In 12 step, a huge part of the program is just reaching out to someone. (There is obviously more, but that’s a huge huge part of maintaining a program, picking up the phone and calling someone).
Obviously there is more in 12 step. But isolation is very very hard on our psyche. All that to say that just being able to have contact with a neutral third party, not to mention ongoing support with a third party therapist could be a complete game changer and enough so that she didn’t have to leave (although, maybe she should have to leave or be screened out, I don’t know).
Every person is different. Was just thinking she wouldn’t necessarily need to leave because of a panic attack. Lots of people have them and if there was a tiny bit of support she could have either avoided it or been able to get through it and use tools fairly easily.
@@francinesanchez5402 I also deal with panic attacks and I am sorry you've dealt with them too. So just an isolated panic attack is a non issue if you can get through it with just crisis intervention and coping skills. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
However, Danielle in particular has expressed that she has mental health issues that require more care than just having someone to talk to to debrief and descalate. She expressed to the producers she did not trust herself since the had a history with suicide ideation before. If someone is saying they have persistent suicidal ideation and don't trust themselves, the ethical thing is to get them help. Crisis intervention providers can deescalate and make sure someone is safe for the moment, but we cannot always be there. So the idea is that the person has actual treatment with a professional they build a trusting relationship with.
As part of my job I answer a crisis helpline and have talked people down from suicide and panic attacks etc, and while it's great they have us as a resource to talk and deescalate...persistent suicidal ideation and someone saying "I don't trust myself" requires more attention than just someone there to debrief with. Of course, I have a bias because of my profession, but to me Danielle deserved more. Like that follow up therapy that Nick mentions, and of course her freedom to go back outside and engage in services, they should have procedures in place for that.
Can't believe the podcast has grown this much! I hope this helps more people find this channel and find it useful to their lives, congratulations Psychology in Seattle Team!
It is so sad but good to see the 2 of you have a conversation about the toxic and scary behaviour you experienced online and completely understand each other and be able to have that conversation that isn't one-sided because you have both been through it because assholes believe they can attack you for no reason it shouldn't happen.
If someone is profiting off of someone's time or talent, that's labor -- bottom line. Thank you for advocating for this!
This is really crazy, being sleep deprived, hungry and thirsty is a human rights violation.
Yes, what they did was TORTURE to these people. Cruelty. They should be rounded up and taken to prison -- all the people behind this. So glad this is all coming to LIGHT. I refuse to watch any other season and I SHOULD cancel my Netflix.
Exactly
That's what they do in Love Island
@@dazedconfuseds At least in Love Island they have water bottles they can fill up as often as they want! And that's such a bare minimum thing. It's wild that water would be withheld.
@@whatcolorjunebug very true
LIB is a show about what they can get people to do under coercive pressure and conditions, not a show about relationships and marriage.
The water thing is absolutely horrifying to me, and makes me anxious just thinking about it! I've experienced something like that once and would've fled the situation right away if i could've.
Controlling someone's water supply must be one of the most sure ways to control them in general.
I actually found it funny the water thing was stressed on in this interview in this way. let's estimate there are like 12-15 coercive conditions, giving them water would have changed likely few if any outcomes. as a professional researcher in the social sector having done research on the ground personally about these various human and social rights topics...and if I were evaluating this particular factor I would say it doesn't matter because they make it an untenable environment with all the other 11-14 factors.
should they have got water? yes. was it wrong they didn't get water? yes. but when you are locked in a warehouse with strangers, detached from your phone and outside communication, no consistent sunlight, working 15-20 hour days, have access to and encouraged to drink alcohol, signed a intimidating legal agreement, under the risk of a $50K fine, surrounded by cameras lights and powerful people, being part of a herd of people who are marriage hungry, particularly with the scarcity mentality of not wanting to leave without someone, and lets throw in sending them to Mexico where they are isolated - not even around other guests, that the water factor might have made someone make a better decision, but I think the video should had stressed the compounding factors that really the water would likely have made little difference.
at least my primary research conducting brain led to this conclusion on my years of experience working in human and social rights and inclusion. they are trapped and unfortunately water would not have saved many if not any. that I think that would had been a stronger, more robust approach to that part of the discussion
And you can't flee because they have your passport, license, and phone
That’s literally a torture technique, it’s insane… insecurity of housing and food/water will clearly put peoples mentality in a state of panic/anxiety.
@@dariasmeh i think you’re right when you say water wouldn’t have had much of an impact given the number of other factors used against them. It was quite telling that he spoke of being denied water while admitting no one drank from the bathroom - Producers did a good job breaking participants down for that to occur.
I’ve a friend who is a psychologist who used to work for a major television station and assisted with screening potential participants for the Big Brother reality series. They quite deliberately chose people with low level personality disorders for exciting tv
Thank you Nick for your bravery and honesty speaking out and for working on making things better for future reality TV cast members
I find it really weird that people can be legally silenced against speaking their truth. It's really a dystopian concept to me. Good on Nick for speaking up. I feel quite put off from watching any more reality tv after this to be honest.
Yeah I was just watching "She said" about the me too movement and it's amazing that people can sexually assault someone and then make an NDA and then they can't do anything... Like, if someone murdered someone and then made someone who saw it sign an NDA.. I would think that wouldn't hold up in court. But for other stuff it does seem to work
@@Chiater Yeah I also saw many documentaries like that!!! (e.g. where people pay off child actors who got molested on set or something then have them sign an NDA...) It's infuriating! NDAs make sense if it's about keeping some company secret because something is in development at the time, or it can cause safety issues for others. But if it's keeping someone from reporting a crime of any sort, then it shouldn't be legal.
I mean NDA's are how Harvey Weinstein got away with his abuse for so long. Cause they legally were not allowed to say anything, even to a therapist.. like they literally can't even get help let alone get any help from the law
Agreed. To me, these non-disclosure agreements should have measures in place to allow people to report these problematic experiences without retribution.
It shows how jaded I am that the first thought I had when cast members spoke out was, how on earth are they talking about these things in public… they’re about to get into so much trouble. Things like NDA’s are so common these days that I don’t think most ppl even stop to inquire about what it is that’s being hidden. Heck, even rappers and rock stars will make their own acquaintances sign one before entering their home for a party. Silencing people as a form of insurance has become the norm.
This interview, this conversation is a HUGE breakthrough. I really think Dr Honda will have credit to take in the future of mental health care in reality entertainment, ergo, the conversation about mental health care as a human right, ergo, the mental health of humanity :)
More alcohol less water equals overly intoxicated individuals and drama
So when Irina said she said "No" after meeting Zach...this sheds new light.
how so?
@safestart6252 now we know they strongly pressured her to keep dating someone she said no to
This is so excellent to watch, thanks Dr Honda. I thought Nick was a really sweet guy on the show, edited well for the most part, whilst they edited Danielle to look almost unhinged at times. I'm sorry to hear that Nick lost his job, I hope he can find a new role soon. He seems like such an articulate and intelligent guy.
Hey, Dr. Honda i found you through your Johnny Depp Videos and I considered them very insightful. I would have never thought that this content affected you so badly.
Thank you for continuing your RUclips career afte you been through so much pain. Your videos brighten up my day very often .
So proud of Nick! (And Danielle) I don't understand why people don't consider reality TV stars as workers and deserving of fair compensation and benefits just like everyone else? They're regular people, picked from the public, who's labor is making netflix daddy A LOT of money. Netflix and Kinetic have to do better
Thanks so much to nick for doing this !
This was excellent. Well done to Nick for championing this cause and Dr Honda for promoting. 👏
I am not sure how anyone can criticize Dr. Honda or his channel. The amount of respect and grace he has shown towards individuals from all of the watched shows is absolutely incredible. He is not just a professor and a knowledgeable psychologist, but he is a compassionate and kind human being. ❤
I am just at the beginning but I am already shocked by the conditions!
Thank you for doing this interview! I hope this brings more people to your channel and we can gain more deserving listener friends!
Wow! So glad this happened!!!
I feel like Danielle's mental health was so evidently in crisis on the show and that it was more than just a panic attack. It really was so alarming and hard to watch. and the fact that Nick was in that situation without any guidance or intervention (she should have been pulled off the show), it is no surprise that he is suffering some residual affects (as he says, more bad days than good days) of ptsd.
Very interesting and disappointing info in this interview. As a reality tv show fan I’ve always known that contestants aren’t always treated the best/put in the best environments, but as time goes on the exploitation goes deeper and deeper. Maybe I won’t be tuning into Netflix’s reality shows anymore. The last few years we’ve seen a lot of cruel backlash from these shows. Good on you Nick, I am rooting for you and your cast mates!
Dr. Honda and Nick - thanks for bringing this to light! I sent my contact info through the UCAN site as a legal professional with 20 years in labor and employment law (in California). I look forward to joining your network.
Amazing- thank you for helping!
I assumed cast members got a year of counseling after show because every cast member talks about therapy during reunions and on social media. It’s not commonly afforded by single or married people. This is horrific to learn.
The irony of the crew getting to stop work after 12 hours while the cast is bullied into 20 hr work days. 😬
This interview was amazing! Speaking of water restrictions, I recall that some cast members from a 2013 MTV reality show called 'Are You The One' mentioned that the producers limited their access to water and food while providing an unlimited supply of alcohol. They discussed how this tactic was used to stir up drama. It seems to me that restricting water is an old trick for reality TV producers.
I very much appreciated Nick’s candidness and eloquent explanations. Loved this authentic conversation
This was a fantastic interview. I was hoping you'd get to connect w/Nick.
So sorry you went through that mess with the Depp v. Heard trial. Very upsetting to hear that. 💔 I'm glad it didn't deter you from making videos. You're one of my fav commentators.
I’m so proud of you Dr. Honda. Great interview
This conversation has made me more aware, I hope the treatment of cast members gets better. Thank you Dr. H!
Just wanted to say thank you for the interview, and so sorry to Nick that you had to go through that. 100% horrific and nobody sesrves that start to finish
So awesome, I hope more LIB people call into the show, Honda is a wonderful, very empathetic interviewer. Makes a big case for therapist being interviewers over tv stars
Dr. Honda, your listening skills shine in this interview. Would love to see more. Excellent job. It was fascinating to hear, and exciting to see something is actively being done to support reality TV cast members. Question: how can the public know which reality TV shows provide ethical treatment to their cast members?
Nooo :( Reading and hearing more about what goes on behind the scenes is awful, they really treat people so badly on shows, it almost feels immoral to watch them anymore
Yes, that is a fair question. As Nick said, there's nothing wrong with enjoying these shows. But we need to advocate for change, so we can feel okay watching.
@@PsychologyInSeattle agree 100%
I would love it if there was one episode every season where all the couples do a session of couples therapy
Agreed! I love the show couples therapy , maybe that could be a good crossover
Really moving discussion with Nick. I appreciated how open, honest, and brave Nick is, and I'm really proud of Dr. Honda for lending his platform to support such an important cause (UCAN)! Well done! ❤ P.S. Nick - you have a lot to offer! Don't isolate yourself, because you deserve love!
Great interview skills Dr. Honda! No fluff, straight to the point.
Good to hear this, rather than the PR angles of the show itself, the reunion, cast members' instagrams all trying to create illusions. Analysing the show and the cast largely through the lens of the parameters and conditions of the show really help us understand cast member agreeability, behaviour, pressure, panic, etc.
That’s a great point Daria. Those of us who follow PIS religiously have spent so much time watching and analyzing the tv show. It’s very helpful to have an insider perspective on what actually happens.
@@AgentPong ya I also only analyzed it through that lens. we are watching a show about what people will do under pressure, not a show about relationships and marriage. and the company that produces shows like this are big machines who have legal, production, PR, corporate, etc AND get some crafty celebs who are seasoned in this very deceptive industry to host the reunion and they are all working together to keep these cast members spinning in their loops and tizzies of the pressure. in short the cast members are in over their heads.
I really enjoyed watching this video. Thank you Nick for joining Dr. Honda and sharing behind the scenes LIB.
I was feeling bad about watching the show as you were speaking about it, but realized that we can all still love our reality tv shows but advocate human rights protection for the cast mates on these shows.
Dr. Honda, I love how empathetic, compassionate, and genuine you are. Hopefully you will have the opportunity to interview more people from these shows.
What a special episode. I hope Dr Honda gets to interview other cast members
Wow he is such a sweetheart, such a nice interview
Great interview, Dr Honda-- kindness and empathy as a mode in your practice really inspires me in my life and work and also inspires me to be kind to myself as I try to heal from my wounds and recover from two big losses in my life that came all at once (a death of a parent and the ending of a long term relationship). It is your empathy and giving other people the benefit of the doubt that finally got me into therapy a year and a hf ago. And it is that open heartedness that brought a cast member to your show. Thank you for making a difference
I'm very sad for what you went through. I really liked you and Danielle together. I have a soft spot for Danielle because she very bravely shared her mental health struggles and it resonated with me. Cheering you both on regardless of what life has in store for you two individually and together. ❤ proud of the work you're doing to help others.
Omg Dr. Honda I'm so happy you got to do this!
Thank you for this long interview Nick and Dr. Honda! I love this very cool.
Dr Kirk, I feel really sad that people attacked you virtual after uploading a video about an open case of a celebrity court case and you shared your professional experience and objective interpretation.
Especially I feel sad when people get attacked who are making this world better with sharing their wisdom and want to help people to understand our human species and our human experience on this earth better.
Of course you understand the background behind their behaviour as an expert but still you are a human and it’s normal get affected from attacks. Really really sad and I was crying for a while today because I am so tired of people who attack people who really want to make humans better and really care about the health so we create a better world and building bridges to each other. ❤
What a beautiful fight for reality tv participants Nick has entered. I wish him nothing but success with his movement. Thank you doctor Honda for holding space for compassion and overall mental health🙏
This was a great video! Thank you for interviewing and giving Nick a voice. I actually chose not to watch the most recent Love Is Blind, because of the things Nick and others have brought to light about the show. I hope that real change happens. Human rights are so important, and what he and the organization he is apart of is doing is so needed.
I really hope Nick can pick up traction with Ucan foundation! Also, I totally agree that LIB Japan was plenty entertaining! I know not everyone agrees but I personally would love to see the US version of the show move more in that direction. Where couples can breakup before the alter without threats of getting sued because of contract violations, etc. Also, yes, give them unlimited bottled/purified water and meet all their dietary whims...it shouldn't be an issue for Netflix or any production company on this scale to accommodate such basic/minor requests. These are "first world" problems - true, the mega rich entertainment industry in the US is well equipped to deal with first world problems. They have no excuse to abuse and exploit. Cheers!
I thought LIB Japan was better than the U.S. version. It felt so much more authentic that I was much more invested in the cast members.
LIB Japan was so good!
Wow! So proud of him for having watched some of your reviews of his season and being able to agree and recognize (without blaming himself) some of the bad patterns they had going.. AND they were some of the best ones!
As far as interviewees you could have had I think he's definitely in my top 3 I would have wanted to hear from, just as a mature, level headed and seemingly nice person.
Ahh! This is so good! Thaaaank yooooou
We need more content like this, Dr Honfa interviewing instead of hoping someone else asks the questions 👋👏👏
Thank you both so much for having this open honest interview and advocating for better conditions for people on reality TV shows ❤
Thank you Dr Honda for hosting this and thank you Nick for coming on to the interview and being very honest and starting the foundation. I think all these topics are extremely important and I'm so glad there is someone out there acting on it and people supporting the movement.
It’s so sad that Dr. H experienced such hardship with the internet bullying, especially because he’s trying to put good out into the world. My husband went through similar online and it can be so terrible for people.
Probably why I never comment on RUclips anywhere other than this channel. I don’t want him to get bullied :(
Thank you for conducting the interview. BTW, this is a FANTASTIC ad for you as a profession therapist
I was on a reality show 20 yrs ago in Australia and it was exactly the same. What I've learned is that some people are just fine and even enjoy it but for people like me and Nic the unfairness and the not knowing and the whole thing it just is an awful experience that I wish I'd not done. But again for many people it's fine they can cognitive dissonance or whatever but for other types of people like me it just was an awful experience. I think it's because that the truth is not the truth and you have to lie to be successful even if it's a lie of omission
This interview was so good. I learned so much and is so difficult from podcasts and different interviews. They had a true conversation without judgment.
OMG SO COOL!!! I HOPE MORE PEOPLE WILL DO THESE KIND OF VIDEOS WITH YOU❤
Thank you so much ! You are (both of you) amazing human beings ❤❤
Dr Honda I am a new follower of your channel and I have been doing therapy for more than a year, your insights are more than helpful
Nick is also an amazing communicator and seems to be kind and loving 🥰
Thank you for this valuable discussion and my heart is hurting when I hear the amount of abuse and bullying you have been going through, so sorry to hear that
I just read a comment suggesting this interview in your previous video... And now here it is! Amazing 😂
The water thing is SUCH a good point and I’m glad Dr. Honda talked more about it.
I think most of us can relate to when we go to a restaurant and no one waits on you or gives you your food or drink when you are hungry and thirsty.
Everyone is busy, but you are trying to get their attention. Your mood deteriorates big time.
Obviously a little different. But… I think it’s related, when trying to relate to how that feels. The mood deterioration and the helplessness/lack of control. And in that situation, you can walk out or sometimes even grab your own pitcher of water. 🤷♀️
such an interesting format, great work and greetings to the algorithm.
I am out of words... The amount of admiration for Nick and dr. Kirk I have is huge. It must have taken a lot to be so vulnerable. Huge admiration and respect and thank you for an amazing interview!
"Death threats, obviously." I really hate that obviously there. :/
Great interview!
This was so insightful as always Dr. Honda. Thank you for always bringing light to many situations I feel most of us are unaware of. This was an amazing interview with very thoughtful questions.
Wow. Nick - Thanks so much for your vulnerability and courage to talk about you experience both on the show and after. I’m sorry you and others had that experience 😢
Great interview!
So thankful for this conversation! Best wishes to Nick and his valuable work
I am discusting to hear about people calling your board omg. I didnt know about that. Loved your amber/jonny commentary it was really educationnal. Like, i have way more compasion for people now cause of your reaction to things like that.
Im so sorry your went through that Dr. H, i had no idea. My heart also goes out to Nick and any other castmate whose been terrorized.
Very easy to listen to and empathize, I hope more reach out to you
I have never ever in 10 years of being on RUclips, watching videos, heard someone asking "Did I hurt your feelings?" OMG, I can't believe this actually happened!
Fantastic interview. Thank you Dr. Honda & Nick.
❤Bravo to everything both of you said, not only the analysis on corporate exploration but also the lies and how everyone should be much much more respectful, emphatic and humaine to participants.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This was such an interesting interview! I hope even just bringing these abuses out into the light will help to reduce them.
thank you for a thoughtful discussion about the ucan foundation. Good interview and information. I feel like I definitely understand it much better now. Also, I agree with Nick when he said that it seems like you actually care when you comment on shows. I think that's what draws me to your channel so often.
The water thing: This is to make sure people drink alcohol (to create drama)
Yeah. Logical. But I wonder if it also serves another function.
@@PsychologyInSeattle I dont know if they (production) are smart and Machiavellian enough for that. The no food thing is probably for the same reason. People who are desperate for fluids will have no choice but to drink alcohol and it will all be on empty stomach, so even those with good self moderation will get drunk. I've never been a part of any production at all so maybe I underestimate them. I wonder how people struggling with past addictions handle this 😥
I think it’s important to note the fact that their public eye training instructs them to “delete [negative comments] and block them.” I am a person who really reads through comment sections, and the SECOND people pick up on a public figure deleting comments/blocking those commentors, it’s an instant attack on that person as if it’s a character flaw, or a crime that they’ve been caught in. People will even brag on other forms of social media that this or that public figure blocked them. Just an observation!
I encourage anyone to shut down social media or delete negative comments (actually hire someone to). Anyone criticizing someone for doing that is part of the problem. We don’t have to listen to hate.
@@francinesanchez5402 yeah, it’s a good way to protect your own peace! I don’t know why it’s so often viewed as some major offense.
This was great!! Learned a lot. Thank you Dr Kirk and Nick
This is a great and informative conversation. The conditions describe are hard to take in. Good for Nick to stand up and be vocal about it!
Great interview, so cool to see you get to chat with a cast member! Nick always came across as very intelligent and kind, I’m sad he and Danielle didn’t find forever love together after being through so much. I wonder if production is trying to force couples to over commit to one another by manufacturing a situation where they are bonded by the trauma of the experience. I hope nick is able to find some comfort and closure in this work, it seems like a cause in need of some champions so good for him! I applaud your sensitivity with this conversation and editing out the portion he decided he would rather keep between you, very professional and understanding of you - not that I’d expect anything less 😅
This is such a good conversation. It is so important, and you're both so well articulated.