In the comment section, many people are disliking the interviewer. 1) English is not his first language. 2) His direct style is European and not rude. 3) Believe it or not, he does, in fact, have rapport with the interviewee. This is a very real and raw interview. Nothing is withheld and the mark of a good interviewer is not to make the interviewee 'feel comfortable' but rather, to push the envelope to get the real answers that we as the audience are looking for.
@@silviapavani-devisser1150 I was going to write the same ;-) (Dutch partner, about 20 years of interaction with The Netherlands and Dutch people, they are lovely but diplomacy is an optional most of them do not come with)
I completely agree! I thought he did a great job. I got the feeling they knew each other prior to the interview. She did not seem off putted by any of his questions.
Exactly. This is not a 5 minute spot at a late night show or a talk show in the USA, where they make sure that everything is well, kosher, so to speak.
While one can understand the skepticism surrounding the accuracy of certain details in Feldman's portrayal of her Hasidic upbringing, it would be unjust to dismiss her work entirely as fabulism or fabrication. As an insider's account of an extremely insular community, some subjectivity and potential misremembering of childhood experiences are perhaps inevitable in memoir writing. However, the harsh restrictions and subjugation of women in fundamentalist Hasidic sects like Satmar have been well-documented by other sources as well. Feldman's courage to publicly share her personal journey of escaping that repressive world and reclaiming her autonomy has resonated powerfully with many readers. While reasonable individuals can debate the veracity of certain anecdotes, the core narrative of Feldman breaking free from an extremely sheltered, patriarchal environment rings true. Her intelligence, articulate speaking ability, and determination to pursue a self-directed life lend credibility to her accounts. Assessing complete factual accuracy from the outside is undoubtedly difficult. However, we should not entirely disregard Feldman's memoir as fabricated tales. It seems to capture an authentic, if imperfectly recounted, depiction of her escape from a cloistered world that most cannot fathom. Her story has opened many eyes to the struggles some face in closed religious communities. SHE IS BRILLIANT, NEVERTHELESS...
I think her language and words show she is bitter and resented. I don´t support the ortodox community, but this women went from one extrem to the fanatics of the intelectual class of NY and Europe.
It’s so obvious that they both having so much fun through out the interview, I enjoyed this interview and I must disagree with comments about him being rude etc
Most helpful and interesting. I liked the interviewer in his honest approach. Because I was also involved in an extreme fringe religious group Ms. Feldman's experience has opened my heart. Thank you.
Anyone else here because of home isolation and finally having enough time to watch all the programs you wanted to watch for a long time? Amazing how Deborah survived all the brain washing and discovered "Lebensfreude"/ joie de vivre/ the joy to be alive at the other end.
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For Dutch audiences Arnon Grünberg is a familiar figure. He has been a fixture of the Dutch literary scene since his debut novel Blue Monday’s came out when he was 18 years old. He has won many literary prizes and is more known as a writer and opinion maker than as an interviewer. Extreme directness is a typically Dutch feature and here it is even stronger as he clearly feels an intra-Jewish bond as two people who both grew up under the shadow of the Holocaust. (Both of his parents, who had him and his sister at an advanced age, were in Auschwitz, if I remember correctly. I even think it may have been where they met, but I would have to check.) This as a partial answer to all the stunned reactions by non-Dutch people to his style. I saw it as sibling-like rivalry stemming from shared experience.
Mr. Grünberg also has a propensity towards displaying staggering levels of blinkered political correctness in public, that one might argue border on self hatred. Especially pertaining to multi culturalism.
@@TonySlug He certainly seemed offended by Ms Feldman's comment that he looks like a Yeshiva boy and stated that he believes he passes as white or Caucasian.
@@karmelicanke Mr. Grunberg has been quite vocal about his opinions pertaining to the Moroccan population in the Netherlands, citing them as "the Jews of yesteryear" suggesting Moroccan communities are subject of discrimination similar to the antisemitism experienced during the nazi occupation of Holland. I personally disagree with that. Vehemently.
What an amazing interview! So well done! I congratulate Deborah on her efforts to find her identity and to articulate her thoughts so well with total respect and compassion to the community she left. We as humans are responsible for the way these people force this lifestyle onto themselves. It is time for the entire world to realize who Jewish people really are and how devoted most of them to God! More than many of us could imagine. Be kind to a Jew 👼🏻
Re: the comments about Grunberg, I think he is limited by his need to control, and that's a fascinating subtext to this interview. He is not a good listener, always looking ahead to his papers. I wonder about the way they are distanced at the table (almost 6 feet apart). The water is closer to him, out of her reach. And he has a head mic set while she has to hold a mic: perhaps a table mic would seem more even footing. So interesting. But still she rises...
"It's all about him." It's truth underlying what some comments here are calling "friendly banter." I think her sense of a figure wanting to exercise power over her is extremely sharp. She said it herself at some point when they talked about power and people wanting to exert power over another and as protection, "that's why I have you."
@@clarestewart3085 No.In the opinion of people who actually knew her when she was part of the community. For instance,her claim that a 13 year old hassidic boy was murdered by his father for mastubating is an outright lie.The police who investigated the incident revealed that the person was actually a 20 year old man who commited suicide.And many others. Note:I despise Satmar,especially its eminent rabbi,Joel Teitelbaum.And I don't fault her,or anyone else ,for leaving it.But writing a memoir full of lies,half truths,and omissions isn't the way to go about it.
I’m not really sure why you are singling my comment out in all of these others that are also in awe of what a great writer this lady is. There are clearly some issues you need to address with her not me. So I suggest you do that and why not have a word with Netflix as well who I think might have done some research before agreeing to fund the making of the series so you can give them the power of your wisdom!
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This was a really good interview, they both seemed to be having a good time and he asks questions that allow her to further talk about her story in a lengthier manner
One of the shocking things about the Holocaust is how poorly the surviving Jews were treated . Back in the day there was no support , they were expected to just move forward, forget about it and they did. But the price they paid and their descendants paid. We understand more and more about mental health issues now, so it is hard to imagine how these people managed. It would seem that this was one way, to double down and become the most rigid and conservative in their religious beliefs.
Deborah, you are an amazing woman. I watched the series on Netflix and, I will read the book. This interview shows how a nice complex human being you are as it is our life and you show us that we can do everything to find our path. Nice to meet you!
For everyone who thinks the interviewer is rude - in my experience he is just typically Dutch, ie very direct or even blunt and with a dry humour, but no intention of rudeness behind the words. If you spend any amount of time with Dutch people, you quickly learn to expect their unvarnished opinions and not to take things personally! Also don't forget what be deemed rude or inappropriate in one language or culture is not necessarily so in others.
I am sure all the comments about the man being “rude” are from those living in the US or Canada. I live in Germany and this is how everyone talks. I think Americans and Canadians are just use to/expect people to be “friendly”
She gives as good as she gets, but yeah, he definitely comes off as a bit rude. And she can definitely tell he’s into the sex bits, even though he denies it.
Some are complaining about the interviewer and I admit I don't see it. He does seem uncomfortable at times near the beginning thus makes Deborah respond in kind, but things balanced out by the end. I learned a lot..
You are so smart! When I first saw, that this is 1h 40mins long, I would not have imagined how entertaining and informative this would be up until the end. Thx alot. Personally helped me :)
I agree totally with you...I was 'gobsmacked' on many occasions throughout interview...Kudos to Deborah Feldman and her good manners and fine intelligence, she handled the 'silly man' with grace.....I am a big fan of Deborah Feldman
Fascinating interview. I loved the banter back and forth with the interviewer. Unlike what many of the comments suggest, I think they had a great rapport. He is clearly very Dutch!
I’m listening to this 4 years after it was done and finds it totally breath taking. Her intelligence is magnetic. I’m not Jewish but her human story speaks louder than any religion can teach. I sent the link to my granddaughters to hear because your intellectual freedom cannot be compromised. I don’t know you but I love you remember “God is love”.
Fascinating interview, I am so looking forward to reading her books. I am not a religious person, but I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school until 6th grade. I find the study of religion extraordinary, especially when the focus is on how it affects the believer, how they see themselves in the world.
Ik weet het niet wie verantwoordelijk is voor de keuze van Arnon maar , dit is een grote fout! Respect voor zijn werk maar hiervoor ?Neen! Keep on writing Arnon and leave this kind of things to people that are good in.🌻 Deborah, real lady! Bravo 🌹
I am in awe of her. And I absolutely loved the friendly banter between Arnon and Deborah, it's so refreshing, especially considering how sheltered she was growing up, she is totally at ease with him. They vibe.
I am thinking he actually is a good interviewer Well prepared, good questions This was enlightening While good books she has written, it is good to hear the true reality of her experiences Thank you
This is one of the most interesting interview/documentaries I have ever watched. I stumbled upon this completely by accident and I am so glad I did. What a remarkable and courageous woman. I can't wait to buy and read her books. And I love the flirtatious banter between these two. Great job!
A brilliant & beautiful mind & someone I would love to emulate despite being old enough to be her mother! I could listen to Deborah Feldman all day long & I cannot wait to read her books!!!
Fascinating interview with a remarkable women. I disagree with all the comments that the interviewer was rude or somehow unsympathetic. He isn’t a therapist; he’s an interviewer. In the context of a book about this very closed community and the personal restrictions and pain of a young woman who lived within it, his questions elicited captivating details from her. It helped explain why she left and why she wrote a book in the first place. More people will now want to read her books and/or watch the movie. Well done interview.
The Chosen by Chaim Potok delves deeply into the study of Talmud, one of the aspects of that book that I love. Books, study, research, and disputation are very important in my life, too. My parents spoke Yiddish but never wanted me to learn it, although some few words are still in my vocabulary. Only now do I appreciate its richness. I tell people that Yiddish is one of the best languages for cursing, and the internet is full of websites about the language.
Hoffentlich werden Sie eines Tages diese Kommentare lesen, Deborah. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich genug Deutsch gelernt habe, um Ihr neues Buch zu lesen; aber mir hat "Unorthodox" so viel gefallen, dass ich es versuchen muss. Sie sind eine wunderbare Autorin.
She is one brilliant and courageous woman, and a courageous writer. It's impressive how she managed to find this compassion and serenity with the trauma she went through. I found it funny, the way she seems to have decided to speak her mind in whatever situation and how she tells Grunberg exactly how she feels about him. If the Hassidic community and neo-nazi's can't shut her up, poor Grunberg certainly didn't stand a chance :)
Glad that this lovely lady started writing and journalism from a young age.....she Clearly found her career calling and had the courage to follow it with extra purpose.
It seems some people resent the interviewer. It doesn't justify him, but he is a very famous and wellknown Dutch writer, winner of numerous prizes and awards.
I'm a former Williamsburg resident and lived two blocks from the community. I kinda knew but damn...I guess I really didn't know. Brilliant and brave this woman is. Marvelous.
there are so many brilliant things to take away from this young woman. So much of what she says and speaks about are so poignant and to the point. I loved her politics 1:08:47-1:11:43!!! Thank you for this.
This is the 5th story I've heard since this month, of Jewish women leaving arranged marriages and becoming lesbians....the things we learn during quarantine.
@Be Holden Well it would be extremely hard for a person to change their sexuality this radically because of a failed marriage or previous traumatic relationships. If this was the case the number of homosexuals as a proportion of the general population would be much higher than what it is now. Think of all the people with a history of a divorce or one or several bad relationships.
I found 4 other stories on RUclips. They are all stories of women who were Orthodox, and forced to marry very young. They had little to no teaching in sex, and had no feelings for their husbands. Then they had tons of kids in a row. They were either abused, or their depression got so bad (usually the case) that they had to check themselves in for treatment. During treatment, they came out as gay. It seems to me that their marriages were so unhealthy for them. They weren't emotionally whole, never had a chance to explore who they really were, before they were in too deep.
I’m so grateful the author decided not to publish with big American companies, I’m so glad she found freedom in Germany. Yes America is suffering now but we had to face all the corruption, in November we will begin a new start! Thank you for writing and pushing forward your story it’s important to the world. The democrats do have a strong counteraction it is love. Love is a large tent which holds all kinds of diversity and ideas. Nancy Pelosi says our diversity is our strength, there is room for disagreement and differing ideas.
I thought this would be a long watch, but I didn't feel the passage of time at all! Great talk, clarifies so many things after watching Unorthodox. I have to read the book!
It is obvious why Feldman had to make an exodus from her cult community. She is an highly intelligent woman even with little in the way of a formal, secular education. It must have been an extraordinarily stifling existence for her, living as a Satmar Jewish woman. As a Reform Jew, I find her story a fascinating parallel to all the other ultra religious sects (Christian, Muslim, etc) to which she aptly refers. The Satmar ultra-orthodox also have some uncomfortable similarities to Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale." I am inspired by her strength to live life on her own terms.
As an American, it is absolutely possible to renounce your citizenship and give up your American passport. i have no idea why she said its not possible.
One time i was lost in Williamsburg and end up in the ultra orthodox community they were so mean i started to cry nobody helped i went to jewelry store the lady kicked me out. Horrible experience.
I also got lost once in Williamsburg. My experience was different, we (a friend and I) even got a ride to the train stop, in retrospect we were stupid to get in a car with a man we didn't know.
He is way more of an intellectual than she is..(You should read about his background before making such an idiotic claim) How is he not fit for this interview? They had great chemistry.
He was not fluent enough to keep up with her mile-a-minute English. He had to search for words as she kept the pace very fast. Let’s see how she does in her next interview with him, though, as she agreed to do it in German.
She’s emotionally disturbed and suffering from an inferiority complex. She’s exaggerated the negative experiences she had growing up in her orthodox community so that she can justify completely leaving it and instead recreate a new identity of the ones she has had an abnormal infatuation, the Germans. I can’t understand why this isn’t more obvious to everyone.
I admire the author and found Unorthodox to be excellent. When she talks about politics, it seems to me that philosophically, she would fit in better with the libertarian movement than the left-liberals or modern day conservatives.
I got a different impression. It seems, that since she moved to Germany she became more to the centre-left, wich there in the US can be considered very left, wich just contributes to the notion that the US has an exotic far-right political climate and the lack of a diverse political representation system, just two parties.
Great woman, and she is going to do far more than she could image. The interviewer is obnoxious and good for this great writer and for sharing her knowledge.
I watched Unorthodox and found it so interesting. Got very curious about a group of people I know nothing about. This woman, her level of self awareness and insight!!!! Amazing!! Intelligent, brave, so evolved. Loved the interview. I am totally motivated to read her books and hear more of her life experiences and insights.
What an amazingly intelligent woman. A woman interviewer would have been more skillful and sympathetic I think. But precisely because Deborah is so smart, she handled this very well.
The interviewer isn't just someone. Son of holocaust survivor(s) and the brother of a west bank settler sister. Also a famous writer in the Netherlands.
It's really remarkable. Here, she sounds like a German speaking English yet in another interview that took place in New York, she has a clearly American accent. It's like listening to two different people.
Did I misunderstand her? She says she didn't speak English until she went to college. I grew up in Williamsburg as a non-jew and they all spoke English. Obviously, Yiddish was dominant but they all communicated with us non-jews.
This is fascinating. It’s a pity so many people jump in the comments to criticize and not to say something positive or to comment on the content of the talk.
Interesting debate about the quality of the interviewer! He elicits a great interview from Feldman, so, by definition, he's doing a good job. I actually think he likes her a lot, and is possibly somewhat intimidated by her intellect, good looks, and life story. There is a German saying: "Was sich liebt, das neckt sich" (Those who like each other, tease each other). Also notice his comment about her boyfriends. What is not clear is whether the feeling is mutual.
@@rosalinkrieger3352 Can't argue with that one. He is no matinee idol. But then again, neither is she. They look like they would make a good couple. But she moved to Berlin (makes perfect sense...I guess) and now tells her son not to admit that he is Jewish. What a great example of pride and self-respect. Of course, moving to Israel with her son is not something this idiot would ever consider. That would make too much sense.
Very challenging...truthfull....I think the interview per was more and more comfortable with the author as time went by ...towards the end.....well done to her ...
I'm not sure how I found this post. However, it's been fascinating!! In a totally separate thread I mentioned how there are many people who think EVERYONE'S life-goal should be to get married and have kids!! Her community seems to have taken this to stratospheric levels!!! Compound that with arranged marriages and other taboos!! Other aspects of her narrative makes me think of the book Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy DeGruy.
It's so nice to see how people can learn to tolerate well minded people, regardless of their commentaries about their lives in an Ultra Orthodox community in Williamsburg. If people are being turned off by the oppressive nature of their religious observances, they should try to find something else, more welcoming and more meaningful. I am from a Reform movement of Judaism, my paternal family lineage, from a conservative form of Judaism. I find the Reform method to be more enriching, more welcoming and if someone doesn't agree with me, that's fine with me. I even went to Christian churches of my past friends and i definitely know how kind Christianity it is in form of enrichment and spiritual renewal. I find nothing wrong with Christianity in the form of faith, but often, Christianity is often abused by false Christians trying to establish their own virulent form of extremism, to a religion filled with divine purity and spiritualism. And i think atheists should try and establish a friendlier form of relationship with Christians and not to be objective even if certain things they don't always agree with.
she is so superior intellectually, articulate and incisive it’s difficult to see her as the cowed and looked down-upon victim she was in the hasdic community she grew up in .
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She is a very intelligent young lady to speak numerous languages & have an enormous vocabulary. She has accomplished a lot in a short time.
she is very well spoken and educated.
@@janecoe9407 How is she well educated?
She is so stupid that she won´t publish in english till Trump is in the White House, like if Trump cares about it.
In the comment section, many people are disliking the interviewer. 1) English is not his first language. 2) His direct style is European and not rude. 3) Believe it or not, he does, in fact, have rapport with the interviewee. This is a very real and raw interview. Nothing is withheld and the mark of a good interviewer is not to make the interviewee 'feel comfortable' but rather, to push the envelope to get the real answers that we as the audience are looking for.
I'd say it his direct style (and a bit pushy-rude) is typically Dutch
She’s obviously enjoying his interview style. They have great rapport and I don’t know why ppl can’t see it.
@@silviapavani-devisser1150 I was going to write the same ;-) (Dutch partner, about 20 years of interaction with The Netherlands and Dutch people, they are lovely but diplomacy is an optional most of them do not come with)
I completely agree! I thought he did a great job. I got the feeling they knew each other prior to the interview. She did not seem off putted by any of his questions.
Exactly. This is not a 5 minute spot at a late night show or a talk show in the USA, where they make sure that everything is well, kosher, so to speak.
I can tell he is so impressed by her, AS AM I:. She is a brilliant woman.
She's a fabulist. She made up lots of tales, about her own family and herself and her community, in her "memoir."
While one can understand the skepticism surrounding the accuracy of certain details in Feldman's portrayal of her Hasidic upbringing, it would be unjust to dismiss her work entirely as fabulism or fabrication. As an insider's account of an extremely insular community, some subjectivity and potential misremembering of childhood experiences are perhaps inevitable in memoir writing. However, the harsh restrictions and subjugation of women in fundamentalist Hasidic sects like Satmar have been well-documented by other sources as well.
Feldman's courage to publicly share her personal journey of escaping that repressive world and reclaiming her autonomy has resonated powerfully with many readers. While reasonable individuals can debate the veracity of certain anecdotes, the core narrative of Feldman breaking free from an extremely sheltered, patriarchal environment rings true. Her intelligence, articulate speaking ability, and determination to pursue a self-directed life lend credibility to her accounts.
Assessing complete factual accuracy from the outside is undoubtedly difficult. However, we should not entirely disregard Feldman's memoir as fabricated tales. It seems to capture an authentic, if imperfectly recounted, depiction of her escape from a cloistered world that most cannot fathom. Her story has opened many eyes to the struggles some face in closed religious communities.
SHE IS BRILLIANT, NEVERTHELESS...
I find her so incredibly resilient and fascinating
I think her language and words show she is bitter and resented. I don´t support the ortodox community, but this women went from one extrem to the fanatics of the intelectual class of NY and Europe.
I enjoyed this whole talk. She is an amazing person.
Fantastic,She had me glued to everything that she spoke about.Fantastic mind.
It’s so obvious that they both having so much fun through out the interview, I enjoyed this interview and I must disagree with comments about him being rude etc
She amazes me, the fact that she can identify these feelings from such an early age!!!
Most helpful and interesting. I liked the interviewer in his honest approach. Because I was also involved in an extreme fringe religious group Ms. Feldman's experience has opened my heart. Thank you.
Anyone else here because of home isolation and finally having enough time to watch all the programs you wanted to watch for a long time?
Amazing how Deborah survived all the brain washing and discovered "Lebensfreude"/ joie de vivre/ the joy to be alive at the other end.
Oach Katzl Yes, exactly.
Yes and Yes! Thank goodness for the second yes, Deborah is an inspiration
Caught us out... ! But it was more I have just seen Unorthodox.
German villainous still causes suffering generations on
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For Dutch audiences Arnon Grünberg is a familiar figure. He has been a fixture of the Dutch literary scene since his debut novel Blue Monday’s came out when he was 18 years old. He has won many literary prizes and is more known as a writer and opinion maker than as an interviewer. Extreme directness is a typically Dutch feature and here it is even stronger as he clearly feels an intra-Jewish bond as two people who both grew up under the shadow of the Holocaust. (Both of his parents, who had him and his sister at an advanced age, were in Auschwitz, if I remember correctly. I even think it may have been where they met, but I would have to check.) This as a partial answer to all the stunned reactions by non-Dutch people to his style. I saw it as sibling-like rivalry stemming from shared experience.
I have to correct myself. His mother was in Auschwitz, not his father. His father was much older than his mother and was a refugee from Germany.
Mr. Grünberg also has a propensity towards displaying staggering levels of blinkered political correctness in public, that one might argue border on self hatred. Especially pertaining to multi culturalism.
@@TonySlug He certainly seemed offended by Ms Feldman's comment that he looks like a Yeshiva boy and stated that he believes he passes as white or Caucasian.
@@karmelicanke Mr. Grunberg has been quite vocal about his opinions pertaining to the Moroccan population in the Netherlands, citing them as "the Jews of yesteryear" suggesting Moroccan communities are subject of discrimination similar to the antisemitism experienced during the nazi occupation of Holland. I personally disagree with that. Vehemently.
I would say it is more courtship than sibling library. Intellectually quite smoldering.
What an amazing interview! So well done! I congratulate Deborah on her efforts to find her identity and to articulate her thoughts so well with total respect and compassion to the community she left. We as humans are responsible for the way these people force this lifestyle onto themselves. It is time for the entire world to realize who Jewish people really are and how devoted most of them to God! More than many of us could imagine. Be kind to a Jew 👼🏻
Re: the comments about Grunberg, I think he is limited by his need to control, and that's a fascinating subtext to this interview. He is not a good listener, always looking ahead to his papers. I wonder about the way they are distanced at the table (almost 6 feet apart). The water is closer to him, out of her reach. And he has a head mic set while she has to hold a mic: perhaps a table mic would seem more even footing. So interesting. But still she rises...
She preferred a handheld mic.
So interesting.... and look also how the grain in the wood is flowing in his direction... coincidence? my inner intellectual thinks not.
"It's all about him." It's truth underlying what some comments here are calling "friendly banter." I think her sense of a figure wanting to exercise power over her is extremely sharp. She said it herself at some point when they talked about power and people wanting to exert power over another and as protection, "that's why I have you."
Unorthodox was an Absolutely incredible show, amazing actors, Deborah your writing is incredible and I thank you for sharing.
It was also full of lies,half truths,omissions,and evasions.
Laine Frajberg in your opinion?
@@clarestewart3085 No.In the opinion of people who actually knew her when she was part of the community.
For instance,her claim that a 13 year old hassidic boy was murdered by his father for mastubating is an outright lie.The police who investigated the incident revealed that the person was actually a 20 year old man who commited suicide.And many others.
Note:I despise Satmar,especially its eminent rabbi,Joel Teitelbaum.And I don't fault her,or anyone else ,for leaving it.But writing a memoir full of lies,half truths,and omissions isn't the way to go about it.
I’m not really sure why you are singling my comment out in all of these others that are also in awe of what a great writer this lady is. There are clearly some issues you need to address with her not me. So I suggest you do that and why not have a word with Netflix as well who I think might have done some research before agreeing to fund the making of the series so you can give them the power of your wisdom!
The book is harsher, more real than the film.
I saw Unorthodox a couple days algo and was unbelievable. I need to read her books.
same here- she is such a brilliantly minded woman, fascinating. All the shame she is overcoming is amazing ; i wish her all the best !
Even my children want to read the book after seeing unorthodox
It was a cool series, but I read have to wonder why Polly was cut out?
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This was a really good interview, they both seemed to be having a good time and he asks questions that allow her to further talk about her story in a lengthier manner
What an intelligent articulate woman. By far the most interesting interview I have watched in six weeks of lockdown (despite him). Thank you.
Despite him? Despite whom? What do you mean?
One of the shocking things about the Holocaust is how poorly the surviving Jews were treated . Back in the day there was no support , they were expected to just move forward, forget about it and they did. But the price they paid and their descendants paid. We understand more and more about mental health issues now, so it is hard to imagine how these people managed. It would seem that this was one way, to double down and become the most rigid and conservative in their religious beliefs.
D Di P completely tone deaf response.
*become the most passionate and true in their religious beliefs
Deborah, you are an amazing woman. I watched the series on Netflix and, I will read the book. This interview shows how a nice complex human being you are as it is our life and you show us that we can do everything to find our path. Nice to meet you!
For everyone who thinks the interviewer is rude - in my experience he is just typically Dutch, ie very direct or even blunt and with a dry humour, but no intention of rudeness behind the words. If you spend any amount of time with Dutch people, you quickly learn to expect their unvarnished opinions and not to take things personally! Also don't forget what be deemed rude or inappropriate in one language or culture is not necessarily so in others.
Its not only that, he also doesn't show any empathy with her situation, treating her like an alien
I do understand what you're illustrating but I do not feel this is that, the normative Dutch straightforwardness. This is clumsy and rude.
I am sure all the comments about the man being “rude” are from those living in the US or Canada. I live in Germany and this is how everyone talks. I think Americans and Canadians are just use to/expect people to be “friendly”
She gives as good as she gets, but yeah, he definitely comes off as a bit rude. And she can definitely tell he’s into the sex bits, even though he denies it.
He's not at all rude; however, she is a pompous idiot.
Some are complaining about the interviewer and I admit I don't see it. He does seem uncomfortable at times near the beginning thus makes Deborah respond in kind, but things balanced out by the end. I learned a lot..
You are so smart! When I first saw, that this is 1h 40mins long, I would not have imagined how entertaining and informative this would be up until the end. Thx alot. Personally helped me :)
She is amazing and so interesting. Unfortunately this guy, Arnon, is really not right person for this job!
Nikolina C. Annoying accent and talking more than the author :(
I agree totally with you...I was 'gobsmacked' on many occasions throughout interview...Kudos to Deborah Feldman and her good manners and fine intelligence, she handled the 'silly man' with grace.....I am a big fan of Deborah Feldman
This is a fascinating interview. She loves it. Do you want a namby pamby American style interview? God forbid
@@innertuna1 racist much ?
@@innertuna1 some think your accent is annoying
An incredible story and so brave, yet she has come out of it grateful. Fascinating and inspiring - this was so worth watching.
I loved this! I will definitely be reading her book. Deborah speaks with such eloquence and wit. I could listen to her talk all day.
She is funny, direct with a dry sense of humour. Very interesting interview.
Fascinating interview. I loved the banter back and forth with the interviewer. Unlike what many of the comments suggest, I think they had a great rapport. He is clearly very Dutch!
I suspect so. The essence of the book The Culture Map which addresses different cultural styles.
I kind of settled into this guys style by half-way through. She's wonderful.
I’m listening to this 4 years after it was done and finds it totally breath taking. Her intelligence is magnetic. I’m not Jewish but her human story speaks louder than any religion can teach. I sent the link to my granddaughters to hear because your intellectual freedom cannot be compromised. I don’t know you but I love you remember “God is love”.
Fascinating interview, I am so looking forward to reading her books. I am not a religious person, but I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school until 6th grade. I find the study of religion extraordinary, especially when the focus is on how it affects the believer, how they see themselves in the world.
Ik weet het niet wie verantwoordelijk is voor de keuze van Arnon maar , dit is een grote fout! Respect voor zijn werk maar hiervoor ?Neen! Keep on writing Arnon and leave this kind of things to people that are good in.🌻
Deborah, real lady! Bravo 🌹
This is one of the most interesting interviews i have listened to -I would love to meet Deborah Feldman....brilliant mind !
I am in awe of her. And I absolutely loved the friendly banter between Arnon and Deborah, it's so refreshing, especially considering how sheltered she was growing up, she is totally at ease with him. They vibe.
I am thinking he actually is a good interviewer
Well prepared, good questions
This was enlightening
While good books she has written, it is good to hear the true reality of her experiences
Thank you
Agree 👍🏻
This is one of the most interesting interview/documentaries I have ever watched. I stumbled upon this completely by accident and I am so glad I did. What a remarkable and courageous woman. I can't wait to buy and read her books. And I love the flirtatious banter between these two. Great job!
she is so eloquent, she is amazing
I like her so much! Such a brave, intelligent and lovely person :)
A brilliant & beautiful mind & someone I would love to emulate despite being old enough to be her mother! I could listen to Deborah Feldman all day long & I cannot wait to read her books!!!
Fascinating interview with a remarkable women. I disagree with all the comments that the interviewer was rude or somehow unsympathetic. He isn’t a therapist; he’s an interviewer. In the context of a book about this very closed community and the personal restrictions and pain of a young woman who lived within it, his questions elicited captivating details from her. It helped explain why she left and why she wrote a book in the first place. More people will now want to read her books and/or watch the movie. Well done interview.
I love listening to her speak and she has this amazing ability to describe here life experiences.
I feel that deborah has made it ok to deal with issues that hard to speak about in judasim.
The Chosen by Chaim Potok delves deeply into the study of Talmud, one of the aspects of that book that I love. Books, study, research, and disputation are very important in my life, too. My parents spoke Yiddish but never wanted me to learn it, although some few words are still in my vocabulary. Only now do I appreciate its richness. I tell people that Yiddish is one of the best languages for cursing, and the internet is full of websites about the language.
Hoffentlich werden Sie eines Tages diese Kommentare lesen, Deborah.
Ich weiß nicht, ob ich genug Deutsch gelernt habe, um Ihr neues Buch zu lesen; aber mir hat "Unorthodox" so viel gefallen, dass ich es versuchen muss. Sie sind eine wunderbare Autorin.
She is one brilliant and courageous woman, and a courageous writer. It's impressive how she managed to find this compassion and serenity with the trauma she went through. I found it funny, the way she seems to have decided to speak her mind in whatever situation and how she tells Grunberg exactly how she feels about him. If the Hassidic community and neo-nazi's can't shut her up, poor Grunberg certainly didn't stand a chance :)
Ann Cassano .....brilliant commentary! I wholeheartedly agree!
Amazing interview. Really wonderfully given and just wow. Deborah Feldman is incredible.
Glad that this lovely lady started writing and journalism from a young age.....she Clearly found her career calling and had the courage to follow it with extra purpose.
This was fabulous and fascinating! I loved them both. She is brilliant.
she is very intelligent and well spoken.
It seems some people resent the interviewer. It doesn't justify him, but he is a very famous and wellknown Dutch writer, winner of numerous prizes and awards.
Well fantastic but that doesn't mean he can empathise with a traumatised young woman.
She is such an inteligent woman... interview is really interesting, but interviewer is sooo annoying!
Yes, I found him very controlling and rude the way he'd cut her off in mid sentence.
I'm a former Williamsburg resident and lived two blocks from the community. I kinda knew but damn...I guess I really didn't know. Brilliant and brave this woman is. Marvelous.
What did you know?
What do others know about your community?
You knew nothing and are still clueless.
🇨🇦 Deborah, you are amazing, love how you were able to control this interview, well done !!!!
there are so many brilliant things to take away from this young woman. So much of what she says and speaks about are so poignant and to the point. I loved her politics 1:08:47-1:11:43!!! Thank you for this.
That was an awesome interview. Thank you!
She did therapy. I hear it from her speech and from the awareness she has on what happened. Which it’s great!
Are you kidding me?? Lol
What an utterly brilliant woman.
lionsnow9 That was my feeling too - she is very bright
it comes from te ultra ortdox base
are you serious? She's a moron; an absolute brain dead moron.
@@lauren8788 a moron because she says the truth as one who been inside of the cult?
she is briliant.
This woman is BRILLIANT. Truly in the realm of genius. I’m in awe.
This is the 5th story I've heard since this month, of Jewish women leaving arranged marriages and becoming lesbians....the things we learn during quarantine.
Lila Feldman oh really... would you mind sending me more stories so interested
Lila no one becomes a lesbian, obviously the women you are referring to were closeted lesbians all along
@Be Holden Well it would be extremely hard for a person to change their sexuality this radically because of a failed marriage or previous traumatic relationships. If this was the case the number of homosexuals as a proportion of the general population would be much higher than what it is now. Think of all the people with a history of a divorce or one or several bad relationships.
@Be Holden 2 people that you know doesn't prove anything either. we are talking about large numbers as a social phenomenon.
I found 4 other stories on RUclips. They are all stories of women who were Orthodox, and forced to marry very young. They had little to no teaching in sex, and had no feelings for their husbands. Then they had tons of kids in a row. They were either abused, or their depression got so bad (usually the case) that they had to check themselves in for treatment. During treatment, they came out as gay.
It seems to me that their marriages were so unhealthy for them. They weren't emotionally whole, never had a chance to explore who they really were, before they were in too deep.
I thought it was excellent interview!!! Maybe I am used to European style, it was very warm and relaxed.
I found it a fantastic conversation much better than English interviews. It’s more real
Me too, however there are so many silly comments saying the man was rude..
It was indeed 😉
I am European so I am used to this style and it actually makes for a deeper conversation 🤔 (or am I wrong?).
I’m so grateful the author decided not to publish with big American companies, I’m so glad she found freedom in Germany. Yes America is suffering now but we had to face all the corruption, in November we will begin a new start! Thank you for writing and pushing forward your story it’s important to the world. The democrats do have a strong counteraction it is love. Love is a large tent which holds all kinds of diversity and ideas. Nancy Pelosi says our diversity is our strength, there is room for disagreement and differing ideas.
Such highly intelligent woman. Would love to read more from her
Very intelligent and brave woman . I am way more impressed listening to her after watching the movie Unorthodox. Brilliant young woman!
You young lady are a remarkable women.
Your articulation of explanations is so interesting and intense.
I thought this would be a long watch, but I didn't feel the passage of time at all! Great talk, clarifies so many things after watching Unorthodox. I have to read the book!
It is obvious why Feldman had to make an exodus from her cult community. She is an highly intelligent woman even with little in the way of a formal, secular education. It must have been an extraordinarily stifling existence for her, living as a Satmar Jewish woman. As a Reform Jew, I find her story a fascinating parallel to all the other ultra religious sects (Christian, Muslim, etc) to which she aptly refers. The Satmar ultra-orthodox also have some uncomfortable similarities to Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale." I am inspired by her strength to live life on her own terms.
As an American, it is absolutely possible to renounce your citizenship and give up your American passport. i have no idea why she said its not possible.
You are a role model. The best series I have watched in my entire life. You did an outstanding job.! You deserve an Oscar.
AH, this interview is about her books not the Netflix series.She did not act in it. Please read her books.
I could listen to Deborah Feldman all day. Looking forward to reading the book.
One time i was lost in Williamsburg and end up in the ultra orthodox community they were so mean i started to cry nobody helped i went to jewelry store the lady kicked me out. Horrible experience.
I also got lost once in Williamsburg. My experience was different, we (a friend and I) even got a ride to the train stop, in retrospect we were stupid to get in a car with a man we didn't know.
Antisemite
@@Janis.7- how is it anti-semitic for her to tell her story?
@@Janis.7- not really true when she's just telling her experience... I think your being a tad defensive here
@@lporquai9048 how can I be defensive when I’m not Jewish ?
Excellent interview, loved the Netflix mini series Unorthodox based on her book.
He was not good for the task of interviewing such an intelligent and amazing woman.
He is way more of an intellectual than she is..(You should read about his background before making such an idiotic claim) How is he not fit for this interview? They had great chemistry.
He was not fluent enough to keep up with her mile-a-minute English. He had to search for words as she kept the pace very fast. Let’s see how she does in her next interview with him, though, as she agreed to do it in German.
Incredible interview! I gained so much knowledge.
Deborah is exemplary as a speaker and writer. Unbelievably brave.
She’s emotionally disturbed and suffering from an inferiority complex. She’s exaggerated the negative experiences she had growing up in her orthodox community so that she can justify completely leaving it and instead recreate a new identity of the ones she has had an abnormal infatuation, the Germans. I can’t understand why this isn’t more obvious to everyone.
Great interview thank you
thoroughly enjoyed this interview and your views on individualism
What an amazing, fascinating individual. Very informative and inspiring
I admire the author and found Unorthodox to be excellent. When she talks about politics, it seems to me that philosophically, she would fit in better with the libertarian movement than the left-liberals or modern day conservatives.
I got a different impression. It seems, that since she moved to Germany she became more to the centre-left, wich there in the US can be considered very left, wich just contributes to the notion that the US has an exotic far-right political climate and the lack of a diverse political representation system, just two parties.
Oh god no. She is not a libertarian. She is a responsible, enlightened person.
Great woman, and she is going to do far more than she could image. The interviewer is obnoxious and good for this great writer and for sharing her knowledge.
I watched Unorthodox and found it so interesting. Got very curious about a group of people I know nothing about. This woman, her level of self awareness and insight!!!! Amazing!! Intelligent, brave, so evolved. Loved the interview. I am totally motivated to read her books and hear more of her life experiences and insights.
Brilliant woman!! So glad that I listened.
What an amazingly intelligent woman. A woman interviewer would have been more skillful and sympathetic I think. But precisely because Deborah is so smart, she handled this very well.
Sympathy does not always produce the more interesting intellectual exchanges.
I think the way he explained why he seemed to be asking many weird questions was because of his sister who is in a somewhat similar position
I don’t think your gender defines whether you can be a good interviewer 😉
I love this interview. She is great, very smart and intelligent woman. Greatings from Poland :*
The interviewer isn't just someone. Son of holocaust survivor(s) and the brother of a west bank settler sister. Also a famous writer in the Netherlands.
Amazing Woman. I am just the opposite I was not raised jewish and I am connecting now. My Oma was a hidden Jew.
Good for you. I hope Deborah will see the love side of G-d, and believe again. G-d is good. G-d is love
I really liked the film Unorthodox on Netflix.
i can see how important her thoughts are to Germany and i am greatful she lives , writes and speaks there.
It's really remarkable. Here, she sounds like a German speaking English yet in another interview that took place in New York, she has a clearly American accent. It's like listening to two different people.
I thought that too.
I think it is because Jiddish is close to German
Yes, I noticed that too. Wonder why?
Selima E in another interview she did say she adopts accents very quickly.
Did I misunderstand her? She says she didn't speak English until she went to college. I grew up in Williamsburg as a non-jew and they all spoke English. Obviously, Yiddish was dominant but they all communicated with us non-jews.
This is fascinating. It’s a pity so many people jump in the comments to criticize and not to say something positive or to comment on the content of the talk.
Interesting debate about the quality of the interviewer! He elicits a great interview from Feldman, so, by definition, he's doing a good job.
I actually think he likes her a lot, and is possibly somewhat intimidated by her intellect, good looks, and life story. There is a German saying: "Was sich liebt, das neckt sich" (Those who like each other, tease each other). Also notice his comment about her boyfriends. What is not clear is whether the feeling is mutual.
Intimidated by her "good looks". Maybe I need glasses, bro.
@@davestonehill6177 better than him, that's for sure!
@@rosalinkrieger3352 Can't argue with that one. He is no matinee idol. But then again, neither is she. They look like they would make a good couple. But she moved to Berlin (makes perfect sense...I guess) and now tells her son not to admit that he is Jewish. What a great example of pride and self-respect. Of course, moving to Israel with her son is not something this idiot would ever consider. That would make too much sense.
Very powerful and interesting discussion. What courage and intelligence.
Didn´t liked the interviewer but the writer is intelligent and profound.
I so much enjoyed the interview as well as their rapport as interviewer and interviewee. Obviously they were enjoying the interview too.
Thank you Deborah... I have learned so much from you. Looking forward to reading Exodus.
Very challenging...truthfull....I think the interview per was more and more comfortable with the author as time went by ...towards the end.....well done to her ...
I'm not sure how I found this post. However, it's been fascinating!! In a totally separate thread I mentioned how there are many people who think EVERYONE'S life-goal should be to get married and have kids!! Her community seems to have taken this to stratospheric levels!!! Compound that with arranged marriages and other taboos!! Other aspects of her narrative makes me think of the book Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy DeGruy.
It's so nice to see how people can learn to tolerate well minded people, regardless of their commentaries about their lives in an Ultra Orthodox community in Williamsburg. If people are being turned off by the oppressive nature of their religious observances, they should try to find something else, more welcoming and more meaningful. I am from a Reform movement of Judaism, my paternal family lineage, from a conservative form of Judaism. I find the Reform method to be more enriching, more welcoming and if someone doesn't agree with me, that's fine with me. I even went to Christian churches of my past friends and i definitely know how kind Christianity it is in form of enrichment and spiritual renewal. I find nothing wrong with Christianity in the form of faith, but often, Christianity is often abused by false Christians trying to establish their own virulent form of extremism, to a religion filled with divine purity and spiritualism. And i think atheists should try and establish a friendlier form of relationship with Christians and not to be objective even if certain things they don't always agree with.
I am amused by the flirting between Arnon and Deborah!
Fantastic interview, what you can miss in other languages . Congrats to the moderator
I wish your interviews can be listened in English
Arnon was a terrible interviewer. Deborah was so great explaining everything. Kudos to her.
🇨🇦 totally agree with you!!
she is so superior intellectually, articulate and incisive it’s difficult to see her as the cowed and looked down-upon victim she was in the hasdic community she grew up in .
He talks about going to pages of the book, rather then going to “her life” which is not just pages in a book. He lacks empathy.
I disagree. He drew out a great interview and she filled it skillfully, beautifully with fascinating content.
The guy is the worst interviewer ever!,
Fascinating woman. Thanks for sharing.